I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s03e02 Episode Script
Jeannie or the Tiger?
[.]
TONY: I will.
Yes, you know I will.
All right, give my love to dad and sis.
Yes, okay, bye.
Was that your mother again, master? Uh-huh.
The usual thing, you know.
Stay out of drafts, marry a nice girl.
I am a nice girl, master.
Yes, I know you are, Jeannie.
Somehow I I don't think you're exactly what my mother has in mind.
My family never calls me.
Do you know, master, I have not seen my sister Jeannie for over 200 years.
Jeannie? Your sister's name is Jeannie? Oh, yes, we are all Jeannies.
[CHUCKLING.]
No kidding.
How do they tell you apart? Oh, you would have no difficulty telling my sister Jeannie from me, master.
She's very different.
Well, if you miss her so much, why don't you call her? Only, uh, reverse the charges, huh? [LAUGHS.]
[.]
I'll be home early.
I want to get to bed early.
Don't plan anything fancy, huh? Have a good day, master.
Okay.
[GIGGLES.]
"Reverse the charges.
" [GIGGLES.]
Well, I will do better than that.
Oh.
Yes, Master Poopsie, what is it this time? Jeannie.
Do you not recognize me? It is your sister, Jeannie.
Well, careful, careful, darling, my hair.
Well, what am I doing here? Well, my master was talking about his family so I began to think, we had not seen each other in such a very long time and so well here you are.
Well, frankly, darling, I'm grateful.
Your homey, little impulse may just have saved me from a long, dull summer.
[SIGHS.]
I don't know what your master is like, but mine's a drag.
Oh, not my Major Nelson.
He is a wonderful man.
For starters, he's 80, and he's got 36 wives.
Well, my Major Nelson is not married.
[GIGGLES.]
But I am hopeful.
[LAUGHS SMUGLY.]
So, he keeps me in that stuffy, old bottle all day long until the ashtrays in one of his limousines gets filled up.
And then it's zap, out of the bottle.
Poof, a new limousine.
And squish, back in the old jug again.
I'm so bored I could scream.
Well, my master hardly let's me give him anything.
In fact, he gets angry if I try to give him a present.
Well, if he doesn't want anything, what do you do all day long? Oh, we go places and do things together.
In fact, I am hardly ever in my bottle.
JEANNIE'S SISTER: Is this your Major Nelson, darling? JEANNIE: Is he not beautiful? Mmmm.
Groovy.
[CHUCKLES.]
But he sure could provide you with a better bottle.
This is pretty tiny.
Oh, no, it is quite comfortable.
Oh, don't kid me, sis.
You must be cramped in there.
Oh, no, truly, I will show you.
JEANNIE: See? It is most cozy.
Glad you like it, darling, because from now on it's home sweet home.
What are you doing? JEANNIE: You let me out of here.
And don't worry about your Major Nelson, darling.
I'm going to take good care of him.
[LAUGHS.]
Ugh.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Hello? Anybody home? Well.
Master, darling, Oh, hi, Jeannie you're home.
Well, that's what I call starting the day off right.
You're not I I always knew I had sneaky charm, it just takes a A year or two to sink in.
[CHUCKLES.]
Help, Major Healey! Let me out! You are an imposter.
JEANNIE: Let me out! Don't look now but I think somebody's in your bottle.
Oh, it's just the cleaning lady, sweetheart.
Pay no attention.
JEANNIE: It is me, Major Healey.
It is me, Jeannie.
Oh, let me out.
Let me out.
Wait a minute.
If you're Jeannie then who are you? I'm glad you asked, darling.
Hey, wait a minute.
Whoa! Boy, she sure has a spooky idea of a practical joke.
Oh! Going south? [YAWNING.]
Hey, Jeannie, I'm home.
Yummy.
[GROWLS.]
Master, I'm so happy to finally see you.
What's gotten into you anyway? Oh, nothing.
Don't I always kiss you when you come home at night? Yeah, well not that way.
What a waste.
Look.
Restrain yourself, please.
What's for dinner? Well, that's up to you, baby.
Where's the best place in town for a nice, thick Chateaubriand with béarnaise sauce? [CHUCKLING.]
The kitchen.
Look, I'm bushed.
Anything in the refrigerator will be fine.
Master, darling, we're going out to eat.
Oh, no, we're not.
I want you to promise me never to do this sort of thing again.
Cherries jubilee, my utter favorite.
I thought you hated cherries.
Well, I mean, my new favorite.
[GIGGLES.]
Jeannie, I don't know what you're trying to prove but this new style of yours has got to quit.
Oh, but that's what you need, master, a new style.
And a brand-new Jeannie to go with it.
And there are going to be some changes made, darling.
You're really going to swing.
I'm going home.
And so are you.
Home? [LAUGHS.]
Darling, the evening is young.
Pay the check.
Pay the check? Where will we go dancing? Jeannie, I don't know if you've forgotten, But I'm the guy that found you in that bottle on the beach.
I give the orders around here.
We are going home.
[GO-GO MUSIC PLAYING.]
No, no, darling.
It's all in the hips.
Watch.
I'm watching, I'm watching.
You could get arrested for that.
For this? Oh, darling, you should see me when I really move.
[LAUGHS.]
Can't we get outta here, please? Oh, I dig.
Like you say, you're the master, darling.
[CHA-CHA MUSIC PLAYS.]
Cha-cha-cha.
Huh? Oh.
Jeannie, can't Can't we go home? I'm I'm due at the base in two hours.
Oh, not yet, darling.
I want to see the sun rise above Sugarloaf.
Uh, well, all right, you You can stay here and do all the dancing you want to.
I'm going home.
Sugarloaf? Where are we? Brazil.
Huh? All right, Major Nelson, I want your reactions to yesterday's simulator flight, exactly as you remember them.
Now, uh, Major Nelson? Wake up, major.
Oh.
Dr.
Bellows, what are you doing here, sir? This happens to be my office.
Oh, of course it is.
I'm sorry, sir.
I I didn't get much sleep last night.
[YAWNS.]
Should we get started with the de-briefing.
Uh, fine.
Now, according to Paragraph 20 Major Nelson.
Wake up! [KNOCKS.]
Tony? Tony? Are you in there? I've gotta talk to you.
JEANNIE: Major Healey, help! Let me out.
Jeannie, is that you? Oh, it is terrible.
My own sister, she has locked me in my bottle.
Oh, where is she? She is with my master.
Oh, please, help me! Oh, don't worry, don't worry.
Old Roge will come to the rescue.
Please, hurry.
Okay, here I come.
Hi.
Bye.
[LAUGHS.]
Comfy, sister dear? Okay, I wanna talk to you.
What have you done with my master? Where is he? Oh, cool it, sis.
We've got business to discuss.
Master? Master? Relax.
He's at his little dullsville job.
His job is not dullsville.
I could make him the swingingest master going.
You don't appreciate his potential.
I like him the way he is.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I see him in a white dinner jacket with a daiquiri in one hand and an expensive cigar in the other.
Uh, I'm fine now, sir.
Good.
Now, if we Major Nelson, what are you wearing? Wearing, sir? Well, my uniform.
You! You want to change him.
Well, my master and I are perfectly happy and And I I think he looks handsome in his uniform.
That's a uniform? Yes, sir.
Oh, I [LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry, major.
Uh, for a moment, I could have sworn that you were wearing a dinner jacket and smoking a cigar.
I don't smoke, sir.
I didn't let you out of the bottle to argue with you.
I've got it all figured out.
You're going to take my place back in Baghdad, keeping old Ibn Grandpa supplied in limousines.
I will do no such thing.
While I stay here and teach that gorgeous hunk of a sow's ear what life is all about.
How dare you suggest such a thing.
I What makes you think I will allow you to steal my master? Oh, let's face it, sis.
Your Major Nelson has jet-set potential, and you're a horse-and-buggy genie.
He ought to have a string of ponies.
May we get along with the debriefing, sir.
[BUGLE PLAYS.]
Uh?! Oh! I'm s Major, put down that polo mallet.
What polo mallet, sir? Don't make me get rough, sis.
You'll like the old coot.
He's, uh, just your style.
Well, I would not trade my master for 50 sheiks.
Oh, now, how do you know, you haven't even seen him yet.
He can be pretty, uh, regal in his burnoose and his flowing, white robes.
[MUFFLED YELL.]
Do, uh, I look all right to you? Oh, fine, fine, sir.
Well, a second ago, I I thought you were standing over me with a polo mallet.
Uh, look at my eyes, do they look clouded or anything? No, sir, you look just the same.
[.]
Almost.
Well Well, okay, sis, if you feel that way about it.
After all, I only want you to be happy.
We are sisters, aren't we? à bientôt.
TONY'S VOICE: Jeannie, help.
She's got me trapped in the bottle.
She's gonna take me back with her.
Oh.
Oh! Do not worry, master, I am coming.
Master? Better luck next time.
[GASPS.]
She tricked me with his voice.
Ooh! Ha, ha! You can forget about your Major Nelson, sweetheart.
You won't be seeing him again.
[.]
Well, uh, perhaps it was just a An hallucination, sir.
Psychiatrists don't have hallucinations.
You know as well as I do that I was sitting here in long, flowing robes and a burnoose.
Wasn't I? Whatever you say, sir.
Well, that'll be all now, major.
We'll finish this tomorrow, and, uh, you won't, uh, mention this to anyone, will you? Of course not, sir.
Thank you.
I won't forget this.
Neither will I.
[.]
Jeannie! Oh, Jeannie.
Oh, thank heavens you're all right.
[GASPING.]
Your sister's more powerful than you are, huh? Well, don't worry.
I figured out a way to get rid of her.
I'll pretend she's the real Jeannie, and you sneak up behind her, okay? Okay? Okay, sugarplum.
Send me someplace warm, huh? I catch cold easy.
Someplace with a beach.
Wonder if there's someplace I can rent a camel.
[WHISTLING.]
I could have gotten court-martialed.
Now, either you're gonna have to give up this new personality of yours or we're through.
You don't know a good thing when you see it, do you, darling? All right, Jeannie, I hate to do this.
Back in your bottle.
I might be a little crowded.
Hold tight, darling.
This time we're really going to roar.
Oh, no, back in your bottle Jeannie, would you get us home? Would ya? What is this? Uh, hadn't you better shoot, love? I think he's charging.
[SNORTS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Bravo, bwana.
JEANNIE'S SISTER: I won't be a minute, darling, and then we're off to Portugal.
[KNOCKING ON GLASS.]
Come in.
What did you say, darling? I thought I heard somebody knock.
[LAUGHS.]
Your nerves are jumpy.
[KNOCKING ON GLASS.]
JEANNIE: Master.
[KNOCKING.]
JEANNIE: Master, master.
Help! Master, let me out! Wh Jeannie? JEANNIE'S SISTER: Angel mustn't get impatient.
[GASPING.]
Oh, master! Wait a minute.
Your sister? Your sister? Oh, I am so glad you are safe.
Safe? Nobody's safe with her around.
I'm almost dead.
JEANNIE'S SISTER: I'm ready, Tony, baby.
Shh.
Pretend that you still think she is me.
You Wait a minute.
Wait Jeannie.
JEANNIE'S SISTER: How does this strike you? Do you think it'll match Portugal? Oh, it's very nice.
It's I like the blue one better.
Uh, the blue one? Yeah, my favorite.
The one you wore last Saturday night.
It's in your bottle.
Where did you get that? Oh, it was right here, where it always is.
She's gone.
You know, Jeannie, I like you much better now than the way you were before.
You do? Say, why don't you hop into that little blue number and we'll paint Portugal red, huh? Well okay.
It'll just take a minute.
Gotcha.
Oh, boy.
Tony! Now we'll see who's master around here.
Tony! Jeannie's in there.
We gotta let her out quick.
Wait.
Wait a minute.
She's been trapped in there for days.
Do you know what you've done? Yeah, there's a bad Jeannie around here someplace, and the real one's in the bottle.
And the bad Jeannie came And the real Yeah, yeah.
Wrong Jeannie.
Right, Jeannie, darling.
Wrong man.
Bye, Tony.
Mind if I pack a few things? [CHUCKLES.]
She's all heart.
Jeannie? TONY: Jeannie! I am here, master.
Stop her, stop her.
Well, so you want a showdown? He is mine and you keep your hands off.
Well, if you want him, sister dear, you simply have to fight for him.
Well, all right, then.
I will.
House rules? House rules.
[CACKLES.]
Uh, w-what's house rules? She means we can only use what's here in the house.
Oh, well, hey, if that's the case Well, maybe if I shed some light on the subject you'd see things more clearly.
Ladies, I really don't think [LAUGHS.]
Look, uh, girls, why don't you negotiate? I mean, after all, you're sisters.
What you need is to improve your mind with a few good books.
Yeah, uh I mean, blood is thicker than Master! [LAUGHS.]
TONY: Wait a minute.
All right, ladies.
Now stop it.
Now, I mean it.
JEANNIE: No, no, no.
No! No! [SHRIEKS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh! Would ya? [YELLS.]
Waa! Ow! Ya! TONY: Wait a minute.
Wait [COUGHS.]
Would you Would you Jeannie, doesn't she have a master of her own? Oh, master, you are brilliant.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh.
Why did I not think of that? Ahh, there you are, you wicked Jeannie.
I've been looking for you everywhere.
I will have you whipped for this.
Back in the bottle.
Dirty pool.
SHEIK: In the bottle, Ibn Ali commands you.
Yes, master.
I'll be back, darlings.
Uh, Major Nelson, I understand now what happened this morning.
It was all suggestion.
[CHUCKLES.]
You were saying, sir? Uh, nothing, major.
I'm not even here.
[.]
Psst! Let's make a break for it.
Roge, you look half dead.
Come on inside.
Oh, no, no, I can't.
She'll send me to the bottom of the sea.
That's the only place left.
No, we got rid of her.
Relax, it's okay.
No, it's okay, come on in.
Oh, you You don't know how hot it can get.
Yeah, I know.
You don't know how cold it can get.
[AS HER SISTER.]
Darlings.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, it is my sister's, master, and I thought I would try it on.
Do you like it? You gave me quite a start, young lady.
It's all right, Roger.
It's the real Jeannie.
No, it No, it really is.
Tell him, um Tell him about last Wednesday night, all the fun we had.
Wednesday night? Yeah.
I do not remember.
Tuesday night? Nope.
Um, Thursday night? No.
Well, you You You pick a night.
Oh, master? Major Healey? [.]
[.]
TONY: I will.
Yes, you know I will.
All right, give my love to dad and sis.
Yes, okay, bye.
Was that your mother again, master? Uh-huh.
The usual thing, you know.
Stay out of drafts, marry a nice girl.
I am a nice girl, master.
Yes, I know you are, Jeannie.
Somehow I I don't think you're exactly what my mother has in mind.
My family never calls me.
Do you know, master, I have not seen my sister Jeannie for over 200 years.
Jeannie? Your sister's name is Jeannie? Oh, yes, we are all Jeannies.
[CHUCKLING.]
No kidding.
How do they tell you apart? Oh, you would have no difficulty telling my sister Jeannie from me, master.
She's very different.
Well, if you miss her so much, why don't you call her? Only, uh, reverse the charges, huh? [LAUGHS.]
[.]
I'll be home early.
I want to get to bed early.
Don't plan anything fancy, huh? Have a good day, master.
Okay.
[GIGGLES.]
"Reverse the charges.
" [GIGGLES.]
Well, I will do better than that.
Oh.
Yes, Master Poopsie, what is it this time? Jeannie.
Do you not recognize me? It is your sister, Jeannie.
Well, careful, careful, darling, my hair.
Well, what am I doing here? Well, my master was talking about his family so I began to think, we had not seen each other in such a very long time and so well here you are.
Well, frankly, darling, I'm grateful.
Your homey, little impulse may just have saved me from a long, dull summer.
[SIGHS.]
I don't know what your master is like, but mine's a drag.
Oh, not my Major Nelson.
He is a wonderful man.
For starters, he's 80, and he's got 36 wives.
Well, my Major Nelson is not married.
[GIGGLES.]
But I am hopeful.
[LAUGHS SMUGLY.]
So, he keeps me in that stuffy, old bottle all day long until the ashtrays in one of his limousines gets filled up.
And then it's zap, out of the bottle.
Poof, a new limousine.
And squish, back in the old jug again.
I'm so bored I could scream.
Well, my master hardly let's me give him anything.
In fact, he gets angry if I try to give him a present.
Well, if he doesn't want anything, what do you do all day long? Oh, we go places and do things together.
In fact, I am hardly ever in my bottle.
JEANNIE'S SISTER: Is this your Major Nelson, darling? JEANNIE: Is he not beautiful? Mmmm.
Groovy.
[CHUCKLES.]
But he sure could provide you with a better bottle.
This is pretty tiny.
Oh, no, it is quite comfortable.
Oh, don't kid me, sis.
You must be cramped in there.
Oh, no, truly, I will show you.
JEANNIE: See? It is most cozy.
Glad you like it, darling, because from now on it's home sweet home.
What are you doing? JEANNIE: You let me out of here.
And don't worry about your Major Nelson, darling.
I'm going to take good care of him.
[LAUGHS.]
Ugh.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Hello? Anybody home? Well.
Master, darling, Oh, hi, Jeannie you're home.
Well, that's what I call starting the day off right.
You're not I I always knew I had sneaky charm, it just takes a A year or two to sink in.
[CHUCKLES.]
Help, Major Healey! Let me out! You are an imposter.
JEANNIE: Let me out! Don't look now but I think somebody's in your bottle.
Oh, it's just the cleaning lady, sweetheart.
Pay no attention.
JEANNIE: It is me, Major Healey.
It is me, Jeannie.
Oh, let me out.
Let me out.
Wait a minute.
If you're Jeannie then who are you? I'm glad you asked, darling.
Hey, wait a minute.
Whoa! Boy, she sure has a spooky idea of a practical joke.
Oh! Going south? [YAWNING.]
Hey, Jeannie, I'm home.
Yummy.
[GROWLS.]
Master, I'm so happy to finally see you.
What's gotten into you anyway? Oh, nothing.
Don't I always kiss you when you come home at night? Yeah, well not that way.
What a waste.
Look.
Restrain yourself, please.
What's for dinner? Well, that's up to you, baby.
Where's the best place in town for a nice, thick Chateaubriand with béarnaise sauce? [CHUCKLING.]
The kitchen.
Look, I'm bushed.
Anything in the refrigerator will be fine.
Master, darling, we're going out to eat.
Oh, no, we're not.
I want you to promise me never to do this sort of thing again.
Cherries jubilee, my utter favorite.
I thought you hated cherries.
Well, I mean, my new favorite.
[GIGGLES.]
Jeannie, I don't know what you're trying to prove but this new style of yours has got to quit.
Oh, but that's what you need, master, a new style.
And a brand-new Jeannie to go with it.
And there are going to be some changes made, darling.
You're really going to swing.
I'm going home.
And so are you.
Home? [LAUGHS.]
Darling, the evening is young.
Pay the check.
Pay the check? Where will we go dancing? Jeannie, I don't know if you've forgotten, But I'm the guy that found you in that bottle on the beach.
I give the orders around here.
We are going home.
[GO-GO MUSIC PLAYING.]
No, no, darling.
It's all in the hips.
Watch.
I'm watching, I'm watching.
You could get arrested for that.
For this? Oh, darling, you should see me when I really move.
[LAUGHS.]
Can't we get outta here, please? Oh, I dig.
Like you say, you're the master, darling.
[CHA-CHA MUSIC PLAYS.]
Cha-cha-cha.
Huh? Oh.
Jeannie, can't Can't we go home? I'm I'm due at the base in two hours.
Oh, not yet, darling.
I want to see the sun rise above Sugarloaf.
Uh, well, all right, you You can stay here and do all the dancing you want to.
I'm going home.
Sugarloaf? Where are we? Brazil.
Huh? All right, Major Nelson, I want your reactions to yesterday's simulator flight, exactly as you remember them.
Now, uh, Major Nelson? Wake up, major.
Oh.
Dr.
Bellows, what are you doing here, sir? This happens to be my office.
Oh, of course it is.
I'm sorry, sir.
I I didn't get much sleep last night.
[YAWNS.]
Should we get started with the de-briefing.
Uh, fine.
Now, according to Paragraph 20 Major Nelson.
Wake up! [KNOCKS.]
Tony? Tony? Are you in there? I've gotta talk to you.
JEANNIE: Major Healey, help! Let me out.
Jeannie, is that you? Oh, it is terrible.
My own sister, she has locked me in my bottle.
Oh, where is she? She is with my master.
Oh, please, help me! Oh, don't worry, don't worry.
Old Roge will come to the rescue.
Please, hurry.
Okay, here I come.
Hi.
Bye.
[LAUGHS.]
Comfy, sister dear? Okay, I wanna talk to you.
What have you done with my master? Where is he? Oh, cool it, sis.
We've got business to discuss.
Master? Master? Relax.
He's at his little dullsville job.
His job is not dullsville.
I could make him the swingingest master going.
You don't appreciate his potential.
I like him the way he is.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I see him in a white dinner jacket with a daiquiri in one hand and an expensive cigar in the other.
Uh, I'm fine now, sir.
Good.
Now, if we Major Nelson, what are you wearing? Wearing, sir? Well, my uniform.
You! You want to change him.
Well, my master and I are perfectly happy and And I I think he looks handsome in his uniform.
That's a uniform? Yes, sir.
Oh, I [LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry, major.
Uh, for a moment, I could have sworn that you were wearing a dinner jacket and smoking a cigar.
I don't smoke, sir.
I didn't let you out of the bottle to argue with you.
I've got it all figured out.
You're going to take my place back in Baghdad, keeping old Ibn Grandpa supplied in limousines.
I will do no such thing.
While I stay here and teach that gorgeous hunk of a sow's ear what life is all about.
How dare you suggest such a thing.
I What makes you think I will allow you to steal my master? Oh, let's face it, sis.
Your Major Nelson has jet-set potential, and you're a horse-and-buggy genie.
He ought to have a string of ponies.
May we get along with the debriefing, sir.
[BUGLE PLAYS.]
Uh?! Oh! I'm s Major, put down that polo mallet.
What polo mallet, sir? Don't make me get rough, sis.
You'll like the old coot.
He's, uh, just your style.
Well, I would not trade my master for 50 sheiks.
Oh, now, how do you know, you haven't even seen him yet.
He can be pretty, uh, regal in his burnoose and his flowing, white robes.
[MUFFLED YELL.]
Do, uh, I look all right to you? Oh, fine, fine, sir.
Well, a second ago, I I thought you were standing over me with a polo mallet.
Uh, look at my eyes, do they look clouded or anything? No, sir, you look just the same.
[.]
Almost.
Well Well, okay, sis, if you feel that way about it.
After all, I only want you to be happy.
We are sisters, aren't we? à bientôt.
TONY'S VOICE: Jeannie, help.
She's got me trapped in the bottle.
She's gonna take me back with her.
Oh.
Oh! Do not worry, master, I am coming.
Master? Better luck next time.
[GASPS.]
She tricked me with his voice.
Ooh! Ha, ha! You can forget about your Major Nelson, sweetheart.
You won't be seeing him again.
[.]
Well, uh, perhaps it was just a An hallucination, sir.
Psychiatrists don't have hallucinations.
You know as well as I do that I was sitting here in long, flowing robes and a burnoose.
Wasn't I? Whatever you say, sir.
Well, that'll be all now, major.
We'll finish this tomorrow, and, uh, you won't, uh, mention this to anyone, will you? Of course not, sir.
Thank you.
I won't forget this.
Neither will I.
[.]
Jeannie! Oh, Jeannie.
Oh, thank heavens you're all right.
[GASPING.]
Your sister's more powerful than you are, huh? Well, don't worry.
I figured out a way to get rid of her.
I'll pretend she's the real Jeannie, and you sneak up behind her, okay? Okay? Okay, sugarplum.
Send me someplace warm, huh? I catch cold easy.
Someplace with a beach.
Wonder if there's someplace I can rent a camel.
[WHISTLING.]
I could have gotten court-martialed.
Now, either you're gonna have to give up this new personality of yours or we're through.
You don't know a good thing when you see it, do you, darling? All right, Jeannie, I hate to do this.
Back in your bottle.
I might be a little crowded.
Hold tight, darling.
This time we're really going to roar.
Oh, no, back in your bottle Jeannie, would you get us home? Would ya? What is this? Uh, hadn't you better shoot, love? I think he's charging.
[SNORTS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Bravo, bwana.
JEANNIE'S SISTER: I won't be a minute, darling, and then we're off to Portugal.
[KNOCKING ON GLASS.]
Come in.
What did you say, darling? I thought I heard somebody knock.
[LAUGHS.]
Your nerves are jumpy.
[KNOCKING ON GLASS.]
JEANNIE: Master.
[KNOCKING.]
JEANNIE: Master, master.
Help! Master, let me out! Wh Jeannie? JEANNIE'S SISTER: Angel mustn't get impatient.
[GASPING.]
Oh, master! Wait a minute.
Your sister? Your sister? Oh, I am so glad you are safe.
Safe? Nobody's safe with her around.
I'm almost dead.
JEANNIE'S SISTER: I'm ready, Tony, baby.
Shh.
Pretend that you still think she is me.
You Wait a minute.
Wait Jeannie.
JEANNIE'S SISTER: How does this strike you? Do you think it'll match Portugal? Oh, it's very nice.
It's I like the blue one better.
Uh, the blue one? Yeah, my favorite.
The one you wore last Saturday night.
It's in your bottle.
Where did you get that? Oh, it was right here, where it always is.
She's gone.
You know, Jeannie, I like you much better now than the way you were before.
You do? Say, why don't you hop into that little blue number and we'll paint Portugal red, huh? Well okay.
It'll just take a minute.
Gotcha.
Oh, boy.
Tony! Now we'll see who's master around here.
Tony! Jeannie's in there.
We gotta let her out quick.
Wait.
Wait a minute.
She's been trapped in there for days.
Do you know what you've done? Yeah, there's a bad Jeannie around here someplace, and the real one's in the bottle.
And the bad Jeannie came And the real Yeah, yeah.
Wrong Jeannie.
Right, Jeannie, darling.
Wrong man.
Bye, Tony.
Mind if I pack a few things? [CHUCKLES.]
She's all heart.
Jeannie? TONY: Jeannie! I am here, master.
Stop her, stop her.
Well, so you want a showdown? He is mine and you keep your hands off.
Well, if you want him, sister dear, you simply have to fight for him.
Well, all right, then.
I will.
House rules? House rules.
[CACKLES.]
Uh, w-what's house rules? She means we can only use what's here in the house.
Oh, well, hey, if that's the case Well, maybe if I shed some light on the subject you'd see things more clearly.
Ladies, I really don't think [LAUGHS.]
Look, uh, girls, why don't you negotiate? I mean, after all, you're sisters.
What you need is to improve your mind with a few good books.
Yeah, uh I mean, blood is thicker than Master! [LAUGHS.]
TONY: Wait a minute.
All right, ladies.
Now stop it.
Now, I mean it.
JEANNIE: No, no, no.
No! No! [SHRIEKS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh! Would ya? [YELLS.]
Waa! Ow! Ya! TONY: Wait a minute.
Wait [COUGHS.]
Would you Would you Jeannie, doesn't she have a master of her own? Oh, master, you are brilliant.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh.
Why did I not think of that? Ahh, there you are, you wicked Jeannie.
I've been looking for you everywhere.
I will have you whipped for this.
Back in the bottle.
Dirty pool.
SHEIK: In the bottle, Ibn Ali commands you.
Yes, master.
I'll be back, darlings.
Uh, Major Nelson, I understand now what happened this morning.
It was all suggestion.
[CHUCKLES.]
You were saying, sir? Uh, nothing, major.
I'm not even here.
[.]
Psst! Let's make a break for it.
Roge, you look half dead.
Come on inside.
Oh, no, no, I can't.
She'll send me to the bottom of the sea.
That's the only place left.
No, we got rid of her.
Relax, it's okay.
No, it's okay, come on in.
Oh, you You don't know how hot it can get.
Yeah, I know.
You don't know how cold it can get.
[AS HER SISTER.]
Darlings.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, it is my sister's, master, and I thought I would try it on.
Do you like it? You gave me quite a start, young lady.
It's all right, Roger.
It's the real Jeannie.
No, it No, it really is.
Tell him, um Tell him about last Wednesday night, all the fun we had.
Wednesday night? Yeah.
I do not remember.
Tuesday night? Nope.
Um, Thursday night? No.
Well, you You You pick a night.
Oh, master? Major Healey? [.]
[.]