I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s03e04 Episode Script
My Turned-On Master
[.]
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
MAN [ON TV.]
: The capsule has just come into view of our cameras.
And it looks as if it will land right on target.
Well, we can all breathe a sigh of relief now because everything seems to be A-okay here as astronauts Tony Nelson and Roger Healey chalk up another successful U.
S.
space mission.
This one went off without a hitch from start to finish.
Later we'll be seeing actual films of Major Nelson's walk in space.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
MAN [ON TV.]
: There goes the capsule into the water now.
Less than two miles from the recovery ship's position.
Helicopters are on their way to pick them up.
And in just a few minutes, we will give you your first look at the returning astronauts.
Mmm! I cannot wait! [GIGGLES.]
Unfasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen.
We're home.
On our next flight, let's ask for a stewardess.
Welcome home, master.
Jeannie, what are you doing? If you do not know, I must be doing it wrong.
You've gotta get outta here! They're gonna open up the capsule.
Not for a minute.
Look.
TONY: Will you, Jeannie? Cut it out, will you? MAN [ON TV.]
: The helicopters are approaching the capsule.
And soon now the divers will be lowered into the water.
[.]
ROGER: Hey, look at that.
That's us.
Oh, I missed you so much, master.
Well, I missed you too.
Let's talk about it some other time.
Will you go home now? [POUNDING ON CAPSULE.]
They're here.
Everything all right in there? Oh, yes, everything is lovely! Man, they've been up too long.
[.]
[.]
[.]
[.]
Master, what time are we supposed to be at the press banquet tonight? Well, the dinner starts at 7, but Uh, we're not gonna be there, Jeannie.
You're not going.
No, uh-uh.
One blink from you and they'd put me back up in space permanently.
But, master Master, please.
What if I promise from this moment on not to use any of my power? Ahem.
You'd forget.
Oh, no, I would not.
I put my, uh, briefcase around here someplace.
I Please, master, I would not forget.
You see.
Huh? [GASPS.]
I forgot.
Oh, but I would not this evening.
I would be very careful No, I'm sorry, Jeannie.
It just wouldn't work out.
Honestly.
Uh, you and I will have dinner together tomorrow night.
Just the two of us, okay? Very well, master.
I'll see you later.
[.]
Wait, master! [CHUCKLING.]
Jeannie, I'm late.
Master, I have a wonderful idea.
Yeah? What if I transferred my power for 24 hours? Then you would not have to worry about me tonight.
Transferred your power? Uh, could you do that? Oh, of course.
Yeah? I will show you.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
There.
It is done.
Are you sure? Oh, yes, master.
I will prove it to you.
I will try to blink you to work.
Okay.
Well, I'm still here.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay, young lady.
You You got a deal.
You got a deal.
Oh, thank you, master! I can't tell you how relieved I am not to have to worry about you tonight.
Aw.
See you then.
Wait until my master finds out who I have transferred my power to.
[SQUEALS.]
Mmm.
[MOTOR SPUTTERS.]
[SIGHS.]
Having a little trouble, Pedro? Heh.
No, Señor Nelson.
I'm having a lot of trouble.
This mower, she no good no more.
Yeah, well, keep trying.
It'll start.
[MOTOR STARTS.]
You're right! Yeah, well, from the sound of it, it's more powerful than my car.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
[.]
[SCREAMS.]
Help! Help! Stop! Stop! [WOMEN SCREAM.]
Uh, well, hang on just a second.
Let me see.
It's, uh, Colonel Cochran.
He has a couple of aunts in from Denver, and they wanna meet some real live astronauts.
Wants to have lunch with us in the commissary.
No, thanks.
Um, I'm sorry, sir, uh, I don't think we can make it today.
Yeah Well, we're really up to our ears in paperwork.
Yeah.
What happened? [CHUCKLING.]
I don't know.
It's the craziest thing I've ever see No, oh, not Not you, colonel.
[CHUCKLING.]
No.
Uh, I'm sorry we can't come.
Roger and I send our apologies.
Yes, sir.
G-goodbye.
Oh, Major Nelson, here are the reports on You're up to your ears in papers.
You noticed that too, sir.
Major, why are you up to your ears in papers? Well, uh, do, uh? We, uh ROGER: We're cleaning out the files, sir.
The window was open, and it blew all the papers all over.
Yeah, that's right.
We're 40 feet below ground level.
There are no windows here.
The air conditioner Uh, no, actually, what Uh, please.
What do you suppose really happened? Jeannie, that's what happened.
Let's get outta here.
You told me that she gave up her power for 24 hours.
Yeah, but she lied.
And just for that, I'm not gonna take her tonight.
She's gonna be pretty upset.
She's gonna be upset? Look at this mess.
Aw, don't worry, I'll help you with it.
Thanks, Roge, you're a brick.
Roger? Roger, is this you? Roge? Speak to me, will ya? Major Nelson.
Yes? Who are you talking to? Uh, oh, no No one, sir.
No one.
Nothing.
Um You were talking to this brick.
That'd be ridiculous, sir.
Oh, would it? It's just a normal, everyday, run-of-the-mill brick.
It's What happened to Major Healey? Major who? Oh, Major Healey.
Oh, yeah, he was around here some I I'll see you both in my office in 10 minutes.
Dr.
Bellows? Uh, yes? May I have my brick? Oh, yes.
Here we are.
[YELLS.]
There's no need to get so excited.
After all, it's only a brick, major, you said so yourself.
Uh, yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
But I need it as a paperweight for all the paper because of the wind and the window.
[CHUCKLING.]
You know.
No, I don't know.
But I will, major.
I will.
[.]
All right, Jeannie, now that is enough.
I want Roger back in his original form.
You sure are cute, Roge.
Jeannie, I want him back the way he was a few minutes ago.
[YAWNING.]
Oh, hi, Tony, what happened? You were a baby.
I mean recently.
Well, Jeannie turned you into a brick.
A what? Would you get down, please? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Yeah Turned me into a brick? That's right.
And I've had it, man.
Look at this place.
Will you just look at it? I've had it! Right up to Well, we've done that.
Jeannie, I want this place cleaned up.
Well, one thing about Jeannie, she doesn't do things halfway, does she? I don't know what's gotten into her.
Uh Jeannie, I want this equipment back right now.
Ow! Boy, she is playful today, isn't she? Jeannie, would you please go home and stop this? You know, this is not like her, Roger.
She was really Had her heart set on On going to that dinner tonight.
Jeannie! Or maybe you scared her into going home.
Huh? Oh [DIALING PHONE.]
[.]
[RINGING.]
[DEEP VOICE.]
Major Nelson's residence.
Uh, Jeannie? [NORMAL VOICE.]
Oh, master, I am so glad that you called.
I did not want to disturb you at work, and I You wouldn't wanna disturb me at work? What have you been doing? Well, I have been cooking.
And, you know, I have discovered that without my power I am a terrible cook.
Jeannie, look I have ruined three cakes.
Tsk.
I am sorry, master.
You made me a promise, Jeannie.
I know.
Wait until you see the dress I am going to wear tonight.
Hmm.
I am afraid I had to buy it at a department store.
Well, you can just take it back because you're not going tonight.
But you promised that you would take me with you tonight.
Yeah, on condition that you wouldn't use your magic, remember? I remember, and I have not Place has been a disaster area all morning.
Now, no more tricks, you understand? [LINE CLICKS.]
Master? Master? Master! Ooh! Disaster area? Oh! You were You were kinda rough on her, weren't you? Sometimes you have to be, Roge.
That's the only way she'll understand.
Yeah.
Boy, imagine her turning me into a brick.
Whew.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it's It's amazing, a girl have all that wonderful power and have absolutely no idea how to use it constructively.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
[.]
Run out of gas, will ya!? It is out of gas! [YELLS.]
Look out! I could solve the problems of the whole world.
What? Oh, I was just thinking out loud.
If I had Jeannie's power, I could solve the problems of the whole world.
There's probably nothing I couldn't do.
Yeah, a chateau with a swimming pool and a lot of beautiful girls in bikinis sitting around it.
That's not exactly what I had in mind.
You stick to your dreams, and I'll stick to mine.
It's gonna be a scorcher today, you know that? I wish it would rain.
Ah, not a chance, the weatherman says it It's raining.
It couldn't be raining.
The sun's out.
It's probably one of those freak tropical storms, huh? Yeah.
BELLOWS: Major Nelson.
Oh, hi, doctor.
We were just on our way over to see you.
What? It's raining on you.
Yes, sir.
Well, yes, it's raining on everybody.
Well, I Well, almost everybody.
This is extraordinary.
BELLOWS: All right, gentlemen.
Now, I just want you to say anything that comes into your mind.
I'd like to get outta here.
I beg your pardon.
Well, you said, say the first thing that came to my mind.
No one's going anywhere until I get a satisfactory explanation.
Uh, well, there's really nothing to explain, sir.
We Uh, this morning, I found you literally up to your ears in paper.
Oh, yes, well, I, uh We explained that.
Roger said the wind, remember? Major, there was no wind.
He's got you there.
Thanks, Roge.
A few minutes later, I walked into your office and you were holding a conversation with a brick.
Oh, I can explain that, sir.
That was me.
Roger.
That was I? Lie down.
Uh, sir, I was just speaking out loud.
I was trying to work out one of my problems.
Oh, and now we're getting somewhere.
What, uh, is your problem, Major Nelson? Ahem.
The inversion temperature at which silver iodide becomes effective, sir.
I beg your pardon.
Uh, we're trying to create artificial rain, and we seed the air with silver iodide.
Yeah, and it worked too, didn't it? Yeah.
You mean you're able to make it rain only on you? Well, I was starting small, but in time I was hoping that Oh, never mind, never mind.
That'll be all today, gentlemen.
Well, doc, thanks for the use of the couch.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Oh, and, Major Nelson.
Yes, sir? I just want you to know that you're not deceiving me.
Oh, I don't wish to deceive you, sir.
You'd be surprised how much better you'd feel if you'd unburden yourself.
Well, believe me, doctor, I I wish I could unload my problem on you.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
But I don't know what it is.
Uh, will that be all, sir? That'll be all for now.
Thank you, sir.
Jeannie.
Oh, master, I tried to call you back What's the matter with you anyway? Who? What is the matter with me? Yeah, you genies are all alike.
Promises, promises, promises.
When it comes to delivery, nothing, absolutely nothing.
What are you talking about? Today, today.
All these tricks you've been You've been driving me crazy with these tricks Let's finish up the dictation over here, miss.
Hi, George.
But I have done nothing.
I I told you I transferred my power.
Oh, sure, you did.
Sure, you did.
You transferred your power.
To you.
To me.
To me?! You transferred your power to me? Yes, master.
Y-you mean I did it? You did what, master? Everything.
Uh Tons of paper in the room and And changing Roger into a brick.
[GIGGLES.]
[LAUGHS.]
Now, uh, Jeannie, you should have told me.
I could have gotten somebody in terrible trouble.
But everything is all right now, master? Yeah, everything's just great.
Help! There are no limits to this power, are there? Oh, no, master, but you must be very careful of what you say.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah, now you tell me.
What are you going to do? I don't really know.
I'm going to have to give it some thought, Jeannie.
I could, uh I could stop a war.
Flood the Sahara.
Wipe out the common cold.
I really don't know where to begin.
May I give you some advice, master? Well, that's very kind of you but with a power like mine, I don't really need your advice, Jeannie.
I could put an Apollo capsule on the moon.
Master.
Hmm? Please be careful.
It is not as easy as it seems.
It What do you mean? Well, your world is very complicated.
If you stop one war, you're liable to start 10 others.
And if you flood the Sahara, you may empty an ocean.
Oh, believe me, master, it would be much better if you would start with something smaller.
I think you'd better run along, Jeannie.
Let me handle this.
After all, it's man's work.
When I was doing it, it was woman's work.
Yeah Ahem.
Just go on home, that's a good girl.
Mm-mm.
I I I do not want to leave you.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Well, let's put it this way: I'm not asking you to go home, I'm telling you, or better yet, I wish you to go home.
You're still here.
What? What's wrong? Yes.
I do not know, master.
But you gave me the power, didn't you? Oh, yes, master.
You did not give it to someone else, did you? Well, how could I have? I didn't even know I had it.
I remember five minutes ago, I said to Dr.
Bellows, I wish I could unload my problems on you.
[.]
Oh, master.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows.
Has the painter arrived yet? Oh, good.
How do you like the new color? Oh, it looks wonderful.
I was absolutely right about the green.
The green? I thought we agreed the house was going to be yellow? No, dear, it's going to be green.
Amanda, we discussed this, and I told the painter we were going to use yellow.
I want the house painted yellow.
AMANDA: Now Now don't be unreasonable.
Darling, it has to be green.
It matches my new green outfit.
So no matter how I feel about it, the house is now being painted green.
Oh! Darling, I didn't know you felt so strongly about this.
I'm sorry, dear, he's He's practically finished painting it green.
I mean, I don't see how we could possibly stop him.
Amanda, I don't care what it costs.
I will not live in a green house.
I want the house yellow.
Alfred, you're being childish.
Now, darling, remember, you're a psychiatrist.
I mean you're supposed to set an example for people.
Amanda, you're unleashing my hostilities.
All right, darling, let's say we compromise.
Very well.
Green and yellow.
[AMANDA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
What time will I see you tonight, dear? All right, bye.
Bye.
[.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Come in.
Dr.
Bellows.
Yes? Is everything all right, sir? Well, of course everything is all right, why wouldn't it be all right? Uh, nothing's happening, huh? Happening? N-nothing strange or anything like that? I don't know what you're talking about.
[CHUCKLING.]
Well Good.
Good.
Then I These are all in order, Dr.
Bellows.
Oh, uh, thank you, Major Healey.
Now if there's nothing else, gentlemen, I, uh I'd like to get on and finish my speech for the press conference tonight.
Oh, uh, I'm introducing you.
Oh, I really don't think you ought to go to that, sir.
Not go? Well, anything could happen.
You know Don't be ridiculous, major.
Why, I I wouldn't miss this night for anything.
You're going to have to be very careful of what you say, sir.
Well, I know what I'm going to say, major.
"Ladies and gentlemen, "I make my small contribution to the space program "behind a desk.
"But like everyone else, in my heart I wish I could trade places with Major Anthony Nelson.
" Hmm.
What? What happened? We changed places.
You were standing over here.
No, I just moved a little, sir.
Moved a little? You were standing Why don't you run along? Uh, doctor, I really don't think you ought to go, sir.
But I saw I'm going.
And I'm going to make my speech tonight.
Now let's just say that this is the table Well, it's the speakers' table where we'll be sitting tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen If you say so, sir.
If you say so? Look at that.
Uh, he's trying to get us to imagine the surrounding, Roger.
Yeah, I can see it as plain as day.
Oh, uh, I'm not feeling very well.
Of course you're not, sir, you've been under a terrific strain.
Yes.
It is a banquet table, I I can feel it.
I can smell the food.
I've never had an experience like this.
Well, you're a psychiatrist, sir, you know how powerful the subconscious can be.
You could get rid of the table if you wanted to.
I could? TONY: All you have to do is say I wish the table was gone.
I wish the table would go away.
And I wish my desk was back.
And I wish my desk was back.
It's back! Excuse me.
Boy, have I got a powerful subconscious.
It was never gone, sir.
It was all in your mind.
All in my mind.
Yes, sir.
You wish I had your problem.
I wish you had my problem.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
Will somebody please tell me what's going on!? Nothing's going on.
Everything's fine.
ROGER: Yeah.
TONY: Dr.
Bellows is the happiest man in the world.
[LAUGHING.]
[.]
[.]
You about ready, Jeannie? Tsk.
Oh, I am sorry, master, but I am having a terrible time with my hair.
I simply do not how to use these silly things.
Well, don't worry about it, your hair will be beautiful.
Oh, you did that very well, master.
Thank you.
Now I only have one problem.
I I can't wait until tomorrow.
I can give you your power back to you.
Well, I told you it was not easy.
Yeah.
Well I won't have the problem of not letting any magic loose all over the place.
[CHUCKLES.]
That is very simple.
Simply do not talk.
Well, it's not as simple as all that.
I mean, it's a press dinner, they're gonna be asking a lot of questions.
I wish I could get through the evening without uttering a single word.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
[LAUGHS.]
I think you've solved your problem, master.
[GIGGLES.]
Well, blink.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Testing, one, two, three, four.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
I just have to be careful.
Don't worry about a thing, I won't make any mistakes.
Yes, master.
Let's go.
[SIGHS.]
Hey! Hey, Pedro! Stop, stop.
Say, you shouldn't work so late, you're gonna ruin your health.
Working? It's the lawn mower.
Well, I wouldn't worry about that, that motor's gonna run for years.
Well, let's go to the banquet.
Yes, master.
[.]
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
MAN [ON TV.]
: The capsule has just come into view of our cameras.
And it looks as if it will land right on target.
Well, we can all breathe a sigh of relief now because everything seems to be A-okay here as astronauts Tony Nelson and Roger Healey chalk up another successful U.
S.
space mission.
This one went off without a hitch from start to finish.
Later we'll be seeing actual films of Major Nelson's walk in space.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
MAN [ON TV.]
: There goes the capsule into the water now.
Less than two miles from the recovery ship's position.
Helicopters are on their way to pick them up.
And in just a few minutes, we will give you your first look at the returning astronauts.
Mmm! I cannot wait! [GIGGLES.]
Unfasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen.
We're home.
On our next flight, let's ask for a stewardess.
Welcome home, master.
Jeannie, what are you doing? If you do not know, I must be doing it wrong.
You've gotta get outta here! They're gonna open up the capsule.
Not for a minute.
Look.
TONY: Will you, Jeannie? Cut it out, will you? MAN [ON TV.]
: The helicopters are approaching the capsule.
And soon now the divers will be lowered into the water.
[.]
ROGER: Hey, look at that.
That's us.
Oh, I missed you so much, master.
Well, I missed you too.
Let's talk about it some other time.
Will you go home now? [POUNDING ON CAPSULE.]
They're here.
Everything all right in there? Oh, yes, everything is lovely! Man, they've been up too long.
[.]
[.]
[.]
[.]
Master, what time are we supposed to be at the press banquet tonight? Well, the dinner starts at 7, but Uh, we're not gonna be there, Jeannie.
You're not going.
No, uh-uh.
One blink from you and they'd put me back up in space permanently.
But, master Master, please.
What if I promise from this moment on not to use any of my power? Ahem.
You'd forget.
Oh, no, I would not.
I put my, uh, briefcase around here someplace.
I Please, master, I would not forget.
You see.
Huh? [GASPS.]
I forgot.
Oh, but I would not this evening.
I would be very careful No, I'm sorry, Jeannie.
It just wouldn't work out.
Honestly.
Uh, you and I will have dinner together tomorrow night.
Just the two of us, okay? Very well, master.
I'll see you later.
[.]
Wait, master! [CHUCKLING.]
Jeannie, I'm late.
Master, I have a wonderful idea.
Yeah? What if I transferred my power for 24 hours? Then you would not have to worry about me tonight.
Transferred your power? Uh, could you do that? Oh, of course.
Yeah? I will show you.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
There.
It is done.
Are you sure? Oh, yes, master.
I will prove it to you.
I will try to blink you to work.
Okay.
Well, I'm still here.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay, young lady.
You You got a deal.
You got a deal.
Oh, thank you, master! I can't tell you how relieved I am not to have to worry about you tonight.
Aw.
See you then.
Wait until my master finds out who I have transferred my power to.
[SQUEALS.]
Mmm.
[MOTOR SPUTTERS.]
[SIGHS.]
Having a little trouble, Pedro? Heh.
No, Señor Nelson.
I'm having a lot of trouble.
This mower, she no good no more.
Yeah, well, keep trying.
It'll start.
[MOTOR STARTS.]
You're right! Yeah, well, from the sound of it, it's more powerful than my car.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
[.]
[SCREAMS.]
Help! Help! Stop! Stop! [WOMEN SCREAM.]
Uh, well, hang on just a second.
Let me see.
It's, uh, Colonel Cochran.
He has a couple of aunts in from Denver, and they wanna meet some real live astronauts.
Wants to have lunch with us in the commissary.
No, thanks.
Um, I'm sorry, sir, uh, I don't think we can make it today.
Yeah Well, we're really up to our ears in paperwork.
Yeah.
What happened? [CHUCKLING.]
I don't know.
It's the craziest thing I've ever see No, oh, not Not you, colonel.
[CHUCKLING.]
No.
Uh, I'm sorry we can't come.
Roger and I send our apologies.
Yes, sir.
G-goodbye.
Oh, Major Nelson, here are the reports on You're up to your ears in papers.
You noticed that too, sir.
Major, why are you up to your ears in papers? Well, uh, do, uh? We, uh ROGER: We're cleaning out the files, sir.
The window was open, and it blew all the papers all over.
Yeah, that's right.
We're 40 feet below ground level.
There are no windows here.
The air conditioner Uh, no, actually, what Uh, please.
What do you suppose really happened? Jeannie, that's what happened.
Let's get outta here.
You told me that she gave up her power for 24 hours.
Yeah, but she lied.
And just for that, I'm not gonna take her tonight.
She's gonna be pretty upset.
She's gonna be upset? Look at this mess.
Aw, don't worry, I'll help you with it.
Thanks, Roge, you're a brick.
Roger? Roger, is this you? Roge? Speak to me, will ya? Major Nelson.
Yes? Who are you talking to? Uh, oh, no No one, sir.
No one.
Nothing.
Um You were talking to this brick.
That'd be ridiculous, sir.
Oh, would it? It's just a normal, everyday, run-of-the-mill brick.
It's What happened to Major Healey? Major who? Oh, Major Healey.
Oh, yeah, he was around here some I I'll see you both in my office in 10 minutes.
Dr.
Bellows? Uh, yes? May I have my brick? Oh, yes.
Here we are.
[YELLS.]
There's no need to get so excited.
After all, it's only a brick, major, you said so yourself.
Uh, yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
But I need it as a paperweight for all the paper because of the wind and the window.
[CHUCKLING.]
You know.
No, I don't know.
But I will, major.
I will.
[.]
All right, Jeannie, now that is enough.
I want Roger back in his original form.
You sure are cute, Roge.
Jeannie, I want him back the way he was a few minutes ago.
[YAWNING.]
Oh, hi, Tony, what happened? You were a baby.
I mean recently.
Well, Jeannie turned you into a brick.
A what? Would you get down, please? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Yeah Turned me into a brick? That's right.
And I've had it, man.
Look at this place.
Will you just look at it? I've had it! Right up to Well, we've done that.
Jeannie, I want this place cleaned up.
Well, one thing about Jeannie, she doesn't do things halfway, does she? I don't know what's gotten into her.
Uh Jeannie, I want this equipment back right now.
Ow! Boy, she is playful today, isn't she? Jeannie, would you please go home and stop this? You know, this is not like her, Roger.
She was really Had her heart set on On going to that dinner tonight.
Jeannie! Or maybe you scared her into going home.
Huh? Oh [DIALING PHONE.]
[.]
[RINGING.]
[DEEP VOICE.]
Major Nelson's residence.
Uh, Jeannie? [NORMAL VOICE.]
Oh, master, I am so glad that you called.
I did not want to disturb you at work, and I You wouldn't wanna disturb me at work? What have you been doing? Well, I have been cooking.
And, you know, I have discovered that without my power I am a terrible cook.
Jeannie, look I have ruined three cakes.
Tsk.
I am sorry, master.
You made me a promise, Jeannie.
I know.
Wait until you see the dress I am going to wear tonight.
Hmm.
I am afraid I had to buy it at a department store.
Well, you can just take it back because you're not going tonight.
But you promised that you would take me with you tonight.
Yeah, on condition that you wouldn't use your magic, remember? I remember, and I have not Place has been a disaster area all morning.
Now, no more tricks, you understand? [LINE CLICKS.]
Master? Master? Master! Ooh! Disaster area? Oh! You were You were kinda rough on her, weren't you? Sometimes you have to be, Roge.
That's the only way she'll understand.
Yeah.
Boy, imagine her turning me into a brick.
Whew.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it's It's amazing, a girl have all that wonderful power and have absolutely no idea how to use it constructively.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
[.]
Run out of gas, will ya!? It is out of gas! [YELLS.]
Look out! I could solve the problems of the whole world.
What? Oh, I was just thinking out loud.
If I had Jeannie's power, I could solve the problems of the whole world.
There's probably nothing I couldn't do.
Yeah, a chateau with a swimming pool and a lot of beautiful girls in bikinis sitting around it.
That's not exactly what I had in mind.
You stick to your dreams, and I'll stick to mine.
It's gonna be a scorcher today, you know that? I wish it would rain.
Ah, not a chance, the weatherman says it It's raining.
It couldn't be raining.
The sun's out.
It's probably one of those freak tropical storms, huh? Yeah.
BELLOWS: Major Nelson.
Oh, hi, doctor.
We were just on our way over to see you.
What? It's raining on you.
Yes, sir.
Well, yes, it's raining on everybody.
Well, I Well, almost everybody.
This is extraordinary.
BELLOWS: All right, gentlemen.
Now, I just want you to say anything that comes into your mind.
I'd like to get outta here.
I beg your pardon.
Well, you said, say the first thing that came to my mind.
No one's going anywhere until I get a satisfactory explanation.
Uh, well, there's really nothing to explain, sir.
We Uh, this morning, I found you literally up to your ears in paper.
Oh, yes, well, I, uh We explained that.
Roger said the wind, remember? Major, there was no wind.
He's got you there.
Thanks, Roge.
A few minutes later, I walked into your office and you were holding a conversation with a brick.
Oh, I can explain that, sir.
That was me.
Roger.
That was I? Lie down.
Uh, sir, I was just speaking out loud.
I was trying to work out one of my problems.
Oh, and now we're getting somewhere.
What, uh, is your problem, Major Nelson? Ahem.
The inversion temperature at which silver iodide becomes effective, sir.
I beg your pardon.
Uh, we're trying to create artificial rain, and we seed the air with silver iodide.
Yeah, and it worked too, didn't it? Yeah.
You mean you're able to make it rain only on you? Well, I was starting small, but in time I was hoping that Oh, never mind, never mind.
That'll be all today, gentlemen.
Well, doc, thanks for the use of the couch.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Oh, and, Major Nelson.
Yes, sir? I just want you to know that you're not deceiving me.
Oh, I don't wish to deceive you, sir.
You'd be surprised how much better you'd feel if you'd unburden yourself.
Well, believe me, doctor, I I wish I could unload my problem on you.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
But I don't know what it is.
Uh, will that be all, sir? That'll be all for now.
Thank you, sir.
Jeannie.
Oh, master, I tried to call you back What's the matter with you anyway? Who? What is the matter with me? Yeah, you genies are all alike.
Promises, promises, promises.
When it comes to delivery, nothing, absolutely nothing.
What are you talking about? Today, today.
All these tricks you've been You've been driving me crazy with these tricks Let's finish up the dictation over here, miss.
Hi, George.
But I have done nothing.
I I told you I transferred my power.
Oh, sure, you did.
Sure, you did.
You transferred your power.
To you.
To me.
To me?! You transferred your power to me? Yes, master.
Y-you mean I did it? You did what, master? Everything.
Uh Tons of paper in the room and And changing Roger into a brick.
[GIGGLES.]
[LAUGHS.]
Now, uh, Jeannie, you should have told me.
I could have gotten somebody in terrible trouble.
But everything is all right now, master? Yeah, everything's just great.
Help! There are no limits to this power, are there? Oh, no, master, but you must be very careful of what you say.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah, now you tell me.
What are you going to do? I don't really know.
I'm going to have to give it some thought, Jeannie.
I could, uh I could stop a war.
Flood the Sahara.
Wipe out the common cold.
I really don't know where to begin.
May I give you some advice, master? Well, that's very kind of you but with a power like mine, I don't really need your advice, Jeannie.
I could put an Apollo capsule on the moon.
Master.
Hmm? Please be careful.
It is not as easy as it seems.
It What do you mean? Well, your world is very complicated.
If you stop one war, you're liable to start 10 others.
And if you flood the Sahara, you may empty an ocean.
Oh, believe me, master, it would be much better if you would start with something smaller.
I think you'd better run along, Jeannie.
Let me handle this.
After all, it's man's work.
When I was doing it, it was woman's work.
Yeah Ahem.
Just go on home, that's a good girl.
Mm-mm.
I I I do not want to leave you.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Well, let's put it this way: I'm not asking you to go home, I'm telling you, or better yet, I wish you to go home.
You're still here.
What? What's wrong? Yes.
I do not know, master.
But you gave me the power, didn't you? Oh, yes, master.
You did not give it to someone else, did you? Well, how could I have? I didn't even know I had it.
I remember five minutes ago, I said to Dr.
Bellows, I wish I could unload my problems on you.
[.]
Oh, master.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows.
Has the painter arrived yet? Oh, good.
How do you like the new color? Oh, it looks wonderful.
I was absolutely right about the green.
The green? I thought we agreed the house was going to be yellow? No, dear, it's going to be green.
Amanda, we discussed this, and I told the painter we were going to use yellow.
I want the house painted yellow.
AMANDA: Now Now don't be unreasonable.
Darling, it has to be green.
It matches my new green outfit.
So no matter how I feel about it, the house is now being painted green.
Oh! Darling, I didn't know you felt so strongly about this.
I'm sorry, dear, he's He's practically finished painting it green.
I mean, I don't see how we could possibly stop him.
Amanda, I don't care what it costs.
I will not live in a green house.
I want the house yellow.
Alfred, you're being childish.
Now, darling, remember, you're a psychiatrist.
I mean you're supposed to set an example for people.
Amanda, you're unleashing my hostilities.
All right, darling, let's say we compromise.
Very well.
Green and yellow.
[AMANDA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
What time will I see you tonight, dear? All right, bye.
Bye.
[.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Come in.
Dr.
Bellows.
Yes? Is everything all right, sir? Well, of course everything is all right, why wouldn't it be all right? Uh, nothing's happening, huh? Happening? N-nothing strange or anything like that? I don't know what you're talking about.
[CHUCKLING.]
Well Good.
Good.
Then I These are all in order, Dr.
Bellows.
Oh, uh, thank you, Major Healey.
Now if there's nothing else, gentlemen, I, uh I'd like to get on and finish my speech for the press conference tonight.
Oh, uh, I'm introducing you.
Oh, I really don't think you ought to go to that, sir.
Not go? Well, anything could happen.
You know Don't be ridiculous, major.
Why, I I wouldn't miss this night for anything.
You're going to have to be very careful of what you say, sir.
Well, I know what I'm going to say, major.
"Ladies and gentlemen, "I make my small contribution to the space program "behind a desk.
"But like everyone else, in my heart I wish I could trade places with Major Anthony Nelson.
" Hmm.
What? What happened? We changed places.
You were standing over here.
No, I just moved a little, sir.
Moved a little? You were standing Why don't you run along? Uh, doctor, I really don't think you ought to go, sir.
But I saw I'm going.
And I'm going to make my speech tonight.
Now let's just say that this is the table Well, it's the speakers' table where we'll be sitting tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen If you say so, sir.
If you say so? Look at that.
Uh, he's trying to get us to imagine the surrounding, Roger.
Yeah, I can see it as plain as day.
Oh, uh, I'm not feeling very well.
Of course you're not, sir, you've been under a terrific strain.
Yes.
It is a banquet table, I I can feel it.
I can smell the food.
I've never had an experience like this.
Well, you're a psychiatrist, sir, you know how powerful the subconscious can be.
You could get rid of the table if you wanted to.
I could? TONY: All you have to do is say I wish the table was gone.
I wish the table would go away.
And I wish my desk was back.
And I wish my desk was back.
It's back! Excuse me.
Boy, have I got a powerful subconscious.
It was never gone, sir.
It was all in your mind.
All in my mind.
Yes, sir.
You wish I had your problem.
I wish you had my problem.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
Will somebody please tell me what's going on!? Nothing's going on.
Everything's fine.
ROGER: Yeah.
TONY: Dr.
Bellows is the happiest man in the world.
[LAUGHING.]
[.]
[.]
You about ready, Jeannie? Tsk.
Oh, I am sorry, master, but I am having a terrible time with my hair.
I simply do not how to use these silly things.
Well, don't worry about it, your hair will be beautiful.
Oh, you did that very well, master.
Thank you.
Now I only have one problem.
I I can't wait until tomorrow.
I can give you your power back to you.
Well, I told you it was not easy.
Yeah.
Well I won't have the problem of not letting any magic loose all over the place.
[CHUCKLES.]
That is very simple.
Simply do not talk.
Well, it's not as simple as all that.
I mean, it's a press dinner, they're gonna be asking a lot of questions.
I wish I could get through the evening without uttering a single word.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
[LAUGHS.]
I think you've solved your problem, master.
[GIGGLES.]
Well, blink.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Testing, one, two, three, four.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
I just have to be careful.
Don't worry about a thing, I won't make any mistakes.
Yes, master.
Let's go.
[SIGHS.]
Hey! Hey, Pedro! Stop, stop.
Say, you shouldn't work so late, you're gonna ruin your health.
Working? It's the lawn mower.
Well, I wouldn't worry about that, that motor's gonna run for years.
Well, let's go to the banquet.
Yes, master.
[.]