I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s03e10 Episode Script
Here Comes Bootsie Nightingale
[.]
I'll wait for you outside, okay? Okay.
[WHISTLING.]
Good morning, Mrs.
Bellows.
Oh! Major Healey.
Oh! Mrs.
Bellows.
For once Alfred was right.
He told me you were here in the gymnasium.
Why don't we talk outside? Women are not allowed in the gym.
Oh, don't be so stuffy, major.
My husband's a doctor.
Now, where's Major Nelson? Well, you can't see him right now Of course, I can see him.
There he is.
Oh, Mrs.
Bellows.
Mrs.
Bellows? Oh, Major Nelson.
Oh! Hello, Mrs.
Bellows.
Hello, I've been looking for you everywhere.
Now, boys, I must talk to both of you immediately.
I've got some marvelous news for you.
Oh, well, couldn't it wait? I mean No, no, no, it can't wait.
Now listen, I'm going to be chairman for the benefit ball at the hospital Saturday, and the press is screaming for the guest list.
I'm gonna need both of you desperately.
Well, I'm afraid we're pretty busy.
Yeah, we're kind of I'm going to have dozens of beautiful unattached females there.
BOTH: What time Saturday night? Ooh, I knew I could count on both of you.
It's gonna be the swankiest event of the entire season.
And to top it off, I have arranged to have as our guest the most glamorous movie star in all of Hollywood.
A movie star? Yes, Bootsie Nightingale! Bootsie Nightingale.
Boys, I've so much to do.
I'll see you later.
Goodbye.
Bootsie Nightingale? Here on the base? I can't believe it.
What are you getting so excited about? What am I getting excited? Bootsie Nightingale? Y-you mean you're not excited? Roger, she's just a girl.
Yeah.
Come on, let's go.
Tony.
Yeah? [.]
[.]
[ROGER WHISTLES.]
Bootsie Nightingale.
Boy, I've always been crazy about her.
Yeah.
Sounds like Mrs.
Bellows cooked up a swinging affair for a change.
Yeah, you may have a problem.
What do you mean? Well, Jeannie.
You and all those beautiful women? She probably won't even let you go.
Oh.
Don't worry about Jeannie.
I'll take care of her.
How? I'll lie.
[.]
I have to go, Jeannie.
It's It's business.
I really don't want to.
Well, if the benefit party is not any fun, master, why do they call it a ball? It's just an expression.
People give these parties to raise money, and everybody goes and has a terrible time.
Well, I do not want you to have a terrible time.
Thanks.
So, I will go too.
Huh? I'll take charge of the entertainment.
I'll have elephants, jugglers, clowns, lions and tigers And I'll have a full-fledged general court-martial.
No, thank you very much.
It's very kind of you, Jeannie, but I'll just have to suffer for one night.
Oh, master, you are so brave.
Yeah, well sometimes we all have to give a little extra.
[.]
Bootsie, baby, please.
It's a benefit for a hospital at the Space Center in Florida.
You're boring me, sweetie.
But every big shot in the space program will be there.
Don't you understand? Think of your career.
I'm gonna have a career in space? The newspapers, television, radio, there'll be reporters and photographers all over the place.
And there you'll be, sweetheart, looking beautiful and gorgeous telling them about your next picture, huh? Now, you gotta do this.
Would I be the greatest manager in the business if I didn't know what I was talking about, now would I? Kiss Herman.
Oh, I don't wanna kiss Herman.
Now, would you listen to me, Bootsie? I got a great idea that's gonna get your picture on the front page of every newspaper in the country.
You will be America's sweetheart.
Kiss Herman.
Ain't you even gonna ask me what the great idea is? Will you ask me already? What's the great idea? You know what you're gonna do at the benefit ball at the Space Center, huh? You're gonna get yourself engaged to a handsome astronaut.
Huh? Oh! Oh, we love it! [BARKS.]
[.]
Have a good day, master.
Oh, I'm gonna have a wonderful day, Jeannie.
Hi, Jeannie.
Hi.
Hello, Major Healey.
Oh, no fireworks, huh? Fireworks? Of course not.
Then it's all right about Saturday night? Let's go, Roger.
Oh, you mean about the ball? Of course.
I am going to stay home, and Major Nelson will go.
Yeah, well, you sure have the all-American know-how.
Yeah, let's go.
Bootsie Nightingale, here we come.
Yeah.
See you later.
What is a Bootsie Nightingale? Oh, um, uh, tell her, Roge.
Oh, didn't you tell her about Bootsie Nightingale? TONY: No.
Oh, Bootsie Nightingale is an award.
It's an Oscar.
The movies have their Oscars, and the, uh, TV have their Emmys.
And the hospital benefits have their Bootsie Nightingales.
Yeah, that That's right.
Wh-what do you think of that? Not much.
All right, Bootsie is a Roge, um Bootsie Nightingale is a movie star.
And she's gonna be a guest at the benefit ball.
Now you're in trouble.
TONY: No, don't be silly.
Jeannie understands about these things, don't you, Jeannie? Oh, yes.
That is why you are in trouble.
I will not let you go to a party with a movie star.
Oh, I'm not going with Bootsie Nightingale.
I may not even meet her.
There'll be a hundred people there.
A hundred and one.
No, you're not going.
Oh, but why? Well, because I have a A lot of the guests to take care of.
Yeah, and there's going to be a lot of guests that need taking care of.
And you will not be with this Footsie Nightingale? [CHUCKLES.]
"Bootsie.
" Bootsie Nightingale.
I'm afraid the old girl will just have to find herself another escort.
She's old? Uh, she used to play opposite Rudolph Valentino.
Rudolph Valentino? Aristophanes.
Oh.
She is old.
Well, I'll I'll see you later.
But I have never been to a benefit ball! JEANNIE: Master.
I just remembered, I have a perfect dress to wear.
It was designed by Cleopatra, and Mark Antony loved it.
Oh, well, let him give a party for you.
You're not coming to this one.
Now, where are you, Jeannie? Is it because you would be ashamed of me? Ah, you know that's not the reason.
You know that.
Jeannie? Jeannie? [SIGHS.]
Well, you know how I feel about you.
I'd never be ashamed to take you any place.
I bet you'd look beautiful in Cleopatra's gown.
Maybe you can wear it some other time.
Maybe she'll give If you're busy with Cleopatra, I can come back.
No, sir.
I wasn't speaking I was just speaking out loud actually.
Oh, yes.
Do you talk to Cleopatra very often? No.
No, I wasn't speaking to Cleopatra.
I was, let me explain You don't have to explain, major.
Psychologically, it's very healthy to act out your little fantasies.
Say hello for me, won't you? I've always been the great admirer of hers.
[JEANNIE LAUGHS.]
Uh, what'd you say? Nothing.
[JEANNIE LAUGHS.]
Thanks, thanks very much.
Oh, thanks.
Now, colonel, it's very important that we get the right guy to escort Bootsie.
Now, I need a fellow with a lot of zing.
You know what I mean, colonel? I-I-I want a fun astronaut.
Fun astronaut.
With a lot of pizzazz.
A lot of pizzazz.
And good-looking and a little bit offbeat, you know what I mean, colonel? A-a-a Colorful.
You got anybody here this-that's got a lot of color? I have just the man you're looking for, Mr.
Dawkin.
Oh, uh, sergeant.
Tell Major Nelson I want to see him.
Colonel, are you ready for this? That's Bootsie.
You can certainly see she has talent.
Major Nelson, you're escorting Miss Nightingale to the benefit ball.
Oh, um well, I think you'd better get somebody else, sir.
Oh, he's really colorful.
What's the matter with you? You've got something against beautiful women? Oh, no.
It's just that I don't think I deserve what's gonna happen to me.
He's modest.
It's all settled, major.
Um, sir, I'd really appreciate it if you would reconsider.
No, Major Nelson.
Consider it an order.
Um, but this is a social affair.
Now, surely NASA can't order me This order did not come from NASA, Major Nelson.
It came from the top.
The president? Higher than that.
My wife.
[.]
[SIGHS.]
You look so handsome, master.
Well, thank you, Jeannie.
Do you know who you should take tonight? No, no.
Who? Bootsie Nightingale.
What, uh? What made you say that? I feel sorry for her.
An old woman all alone at a party with no one to talk to.
If you were her escort, think how exciting it would be.
Yeah, I've thought.
I've thought.
She would never get over it.
Yeah, a lot of us would have a hard time getting over it.
Why don't you stay at home now and forget about the party and have a wonderful time looking at television, huh? [DOORBELL RINGS.]
Yes, master.
I'll get it.
It's probably Roger.
ROGER: I'll fight you for her.
Huh? I just heard you have a date with the girl I'm going to marry.
Keep your voice down.
You steal the most beautiful woman in the world away from me? You want me to keep my voice down? Easy.
Well, gee, I have a mind to tell her the whole truth, that would fix you.
That would fix everybody.
Good evening, Major Healey.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
You forgot this, master.
Oh, thank you, Jeannie.
I wish you were not going to have such a terrible time.
Terrible time? Oh, with the party? Yes.
Yeah, well, I wish I were going to the dentist.
Roger, let's go.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Boy, you really got her eating out of your hands.
TONY: Yeah, but I have to keep counting my fingers.
Come on.
[GROWLS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Are you sure he's cute, Sam? Bootsie, how many times do I have to tell you, honey? He's adorable.
He's divine, and he's all man.
Ooh.
That's the way I like 'em.
BOOTSIE: You got me all excited, Sam.
I can hardly wait to meet him.
SAM: And he's on his way up.
Oh, he's here! Hello, there.
I've been waiting for you.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
And you're Bootsie Nightingale? [CHUCKLES.]
Well.
[TONY CLEARS THROAT.]
[TONY LAUGHS.]
I've certainly been looking forward to meeting you.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
I must have caught a slight cold.
This is all man? SAM: He didn't talk like that before.
Well, if you think I'm going out with him, you're out of your ever-loving mind.
But I assure you, this is just temporary.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I think I know someone who can cure this almost instantly.
I think, if you could just be patient.
He sounds like he escaped from a cartoon.
Get him out of here.
TONY: B-but listen I'm sorry, major.
Why don't you go home and come back when you're feeling better.
I can SAM: Nothing personal.
But this is not m-my voice.
What is your next false move? Wait.
Jeannie! Jeannie, I know you're here.
You're around here someplace.
Dr.
Bellows gave Jeannie! Jeannie! Tony, where you been? I've been waiting in that car for hours.
Wh-where's Bootsie? Oh, she's in there.
Listen, I came to pick her up, and listen what happened to my voice? [LAUGHS.]
Very funny.
Jeannie! Jeannie, where are you? Better count your fingers.
[WHISTLES.]
Hello.
I'm Major Healey.
Oh, come in.
Come in.
Say something.
I love you.
He'll do.
SAM: Yeah, Major, how would you like to escort Miss Nightingale to the benefit ball tonight? [SIGHS.]
TONY: Jeannie, it was my fault.
I didn't tell you the whole Roger! Roger.
Tell her that this voice condition is just temporary.
Go ahead, tell her.
Tell her.
Poor devil, that's what happens when you're up in space too long.
Wai Aah! She's a sweet little old lady.
Jeannie, get rid of this voice.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Voice.
Now, do you know what you've done? Yes, master.
If you will excuse me now, I must get dressed.
I am going to my first charity ball! Oh, no, you're not.
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Well.
Here we are.
Yes, we certainly are.
[SIGHS.]
You know, I could spend the rest of my life looking at you.
Oh, I dig you too.
I mean it was like, wow, pow! The first time I set eyes on you Robert.
It's R-Roger.
Yes.
And you can call me Bootsie, baby.
Bootsie baby.
Excuse me, have you seen Major Nelson? Who? She means Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse? Pardon me, Alfred? Oh, excuse me, Neil.
Darling, where is Major Nelson? Oh, isn't he with Miss Nightingale? No, Miss Nightingale is with Major Healey.
Well, I arranged for Major Nelson to be her escort.
Something must have gone wrong.
What do you mean? Well, Miss Nightingale just called Major Nelson Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse? Why would she call him that? I don't know.
But I smell a rat.
Oh! Let's go look for him, darling.
Yes.
No, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Now, let's see I'm sorry.
That's okay.
There.
Good evening, master, darling.
Do you like my new dress? Jeannie Oh, it's a lovely party.
Thank you so much for inviting me.
I-I-I not only didn't invite you, I am ordering you to leave immediately.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
If you ever do this to me again, I'm gonna [CLEARS THROAT.]
Jeannie? Yes, master? I want you to stay at the party and have a wonderful time.
Oh, thank you, master.
Yeah.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
I will see you later.
Wait a minute, where's Miss Nightingale? Oh, she's with Major Healey.
Huh? They make a perfect couple.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
I c-c-can't get over it.
What can't you get over, baby? Me sitting here with you.
Holding my hand? H-holding your h-hand.
[GASPS.]
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I guess I'm a little nervous.
You nervous? Why, I bet you just drive all the girls wild with your animal magnetism.
Well, I wouldn't say I drive them wild If there's anything I love, it's a modest hero.
I just get chills all over thinking about those planets you go to.
Mars and Juniper and J-J-Jupiter.
Yes, and Venus.
Venus, the planet of love.
After we're engaged, you'll have to stay on the ground.
Well, I can't stay on the ground.
You see, we're working on this Apollo mission and to the moon After we're engaged? If that's what you want.
If that's what I want? I want what you want.
Right now, I want you to get off my foot.
I'm sorry.
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
I ripped your dress.
I'll get the maid to sew it up.
Don't move.
Stay right there.
I can't believe it.
Me, engaged to Bootsie Nightingale.
Oh, Tony.
Tony? Oh, hi.
Well, congratulate me.
Congratulations.
Aren't? Aren't you gonna ask me why? No.
Where's Bootsie Nightingale? That's why.
What? We're engaged.
I'm engaged to Bootsie Nightingale.
We're going to get married.
What are you talking about? I can't understand it myself.
I swept her off her feet.
[HUMMING.]
Hey, everything a-o? What happened to you? I'll tell you what happened to me.
That astronaut happened to me.
Ten-to-one, he'll knock down the moon.
Lower your voice.
[LAUGHS.]
You're talking about your fiancé.
Are you kidding me? I'll go back to television first.
Don't, uh Don't even say that in jest.
I've already hinted to the press that you'll marry the astronaut.
They don't grow on bushes, you know.
Oh, that's all I needed.
Now, here comes Mickey Mouse.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
I wanted to explain Your voice.
Oh, yes, I wanted to explain about that.
I love it.
Huh? You can make the announcement.
Give me 10 minutes.
That's my girl.
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
I was supposed to escort Oh, you don't have to tell me who you are, sweetie.
I go to sleep every night with your picture under my pillow.
TONY: I, uh I I'll bet you drive all the girls wild with your animal magnetism.
I-I beg your pardon? If there's anything I love, it's a modest hero.
I get chills all over thinking of those planets you go to.
Mars and Juniper [CHUCKLES.]
Jupiter.
And Venus.
Venus, the planet of love.
Well, I I just talked to, uh, Roger.
He was under the impression He's a boy.
Yeah, well, he's old enough to I like men.
[LAUGHING.]
Roger says that you think you wanna get married.
Don't you? Oh, of course.
One of these Excuse me.
Ah-ha! Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? Please.
Miss Bootsie Nightingale has a very important announcement to make.
[DRUMROLL.]
This is the happiest moment of my life.
BOOTSIE: Ladies and gentlemen, my dear fans What is going on? I think she'll make a little wedding announcement.
Excuse me.
BOOTSIE: To thank every one of you for making this possible for me.
They're not giving you an Oscar, sweetheart.
Just make the announcement.
BOOTSIE: Excuse me.
Come on.
SAM: Do you mind? [SHRIEKS.]
Oh, never mind.
Oh, that's a trooper.
Get up there.
Make the announcement, honey.
Ladies and gentlemen I've just become engaged to the most wonderful [SHRIEKS.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
[WAILING.]
Bootsie, baby, what have they done to you? What, what happened, baby? Get away from me.
Get away! Now, now, Bootsie SAM: I do not want to hurt you.
Baby, please.
Will you stop? [.]
Have you heard from Major Healey this morning, master? No.
I think he's probably so upset about what happened last night, he doesn't want to show his face.
Major Healey falls in love very easily, does he not? Yeah, that he does.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hi, Roger Hi, Tony.
Hi, Jeannie.
We were just talking about you.
Good morning, Major Healey.
How are you feeling? H? How am I feeling? I never felt better in my whole life.
Oh, we were afraid that you would be unhappy because you didn't marry Bootsie Nightingale.
Me unhappy? Oh, you don't think I took that seriously, do you? Didn't you? You've got to learn to know me better.
You don't think I was impressed with the Hollywood phony glamour.
She was just another blond.
Good, good.
Would you like a cup of coffee? No, thank you.
I'm in kind of a hurry.
I have a fellow waiting outside.
Tony, can I borrow your car? What's the matter with yours? I'm having trouble with my brakes.
Could you lend me your keys? There's a fellow waiting Good morning, everybody.
Hi, fellow.
What a beautiful day to go flying.
Major Healey has promised to take me for a ride in his very own space capsule.
I'm so excited.
I can just imagine the newspaper headlines now.
Glamorous Hollywood star and handsome astronaut slinging their way through the universe [.]
I'll wait for you outside, okay? Okay.
[WHISTLING.]
Good morning, Mrs.
Bellows.
Oh! Major Healey.
Oh! Mrs.
Bellows.
For once Alfred was right.
He told me you were here in the gymnasium.
Why don't we talk outside? Women are not allowed in the gym.
Oh, don't be so stuffy, major.
My husband's a doctor.
Now, where's Major Nelson? Well, you can't see him right now Of course, I can see him.
There he is.
Oh, Mrs.
Bellows.
Mrs.
Bellows? Oh, Major Nelson.
Oh! Hello, Mrs.
Bellows.
Hello, I've been looking for you everywhere.
Now, boys, I must talk to both of you immediately.
I've got some marvelous news for you.
Oh, well, couldn't it wait? I mean No, no, no, it can't wait.
Now listen, I'm going to be chairman for the benefit ball at the hospital Saturday, and the press is screaming for the guest list.
I'm gonna need both of you desperately.
Well, I'm afraid we're pretty busy.
Yeah, we're kind of I'm going to have dozens of beautiful unattached females there.
BOTH: What time Saturday night? Ooh, I knew I could count on both of you.
It's gonna be the swankiest event of the entire season.
And to top it off, I have arranged to have as our guest the most glamorous movie star in all of Hollywood.
A movie star? Yes, Bootsie Nightingale! Bootsie Nightingale.
Boys, I've so much to do.
I'll see you later.
Goodbye.
Bootsie Nightingale? Here on the base? I can't believe it.
What are you getting so excited about? What am I getting excited? Bootsie Nightingale? Y-you mean you're not excited? Roger, she's just a girl.
Yeah.
Come on, let's go.
Tony.
Yeah? [.]
[.]
[ROGER WHISTLES.]
Bootsie Nightingale.
Boy, I've always been crazy about her.
Yeah.
Sounds like Mrs.
Bellows cooked up a swinging affair for a change.
Yeah, you may have a problem.
What do you mean? Well, Jeannie.
You and all those beautiful women? She probably won't even let you go.
Oh.
Don't worry about Jeannie.
I'll take care of her.
How? I'll lie.
[.]
I have to go, Jeannie.
It's It's business.
I really don't want to.
Well, if the benefit party is not any fun, master, why do they call it a ball? It's just an expression.
People give these parties to raise money, and everybody goes and has a terrible time.
Well, I do not want you to have a terrible time.
Thanks.
So, I will go too.
Huh? I'll take charge of the entertainment.
I'll have elephants, jugglers, clowns, lions and tigers And I'll have a full-fledged general court-martial.
No, thank you very much.
It's very kind of you, Jeannie, but I'll just have to suffer for one night.
Oh, master, you are so brave.
Yeah, well sometimes we all have to give a little extra.
[.]
Bootsie, baby, please.
It's a benefit for a hospital at the Space Center in Florida.
You're boring me, sweetie.
But every big shot in the space program will be there.
Don't you understand? Think of your career.
I'm gonna have a career in space? The newspapers, television, radio, there'll be reporters and photographers all over the place.
And there you'll be, sweetheart, looking beautiful and gorgeous telling them about your next picture, huh? Now, you gotta do this.
Would I be the greatest manager in the business if I didn't know what I was talking about, now would I? Kiss Herman.
Oh, I don't wanna kiss Herman.
Now, would you listen to me, Bootsie? I got a great idea that's gonna get your picture on the front page of every newspaper in the country.
You will be America's sweetheart.
Kiss Herman.
Ain't you even gonna ask me what the great idea is? Will you ask me already? What's the great idea? You know what you're gonna do at the benefit ball at the Space Center, huh? You're gonna get yourself engaged to a handsome astronaut.
Huh? Oh! Oh, we love it! [BARKS.]
[.]
Have a good day, master.
Oh, I'm gonna have a wonderful day, Jeannie.
Hi, Jeannie.
Hi.
Hello, Major Healey.
Oh, no fireworks, huh? Fireworks? Of course not.
Then it's all right about Saturday night? Let's go, Roger.
Oh, you mean about the ball? Of course.
I am going to stay home, and Major Nelson will go.
Yeah, well, you sure have the all-American know-how.
Yeah, let's go.
Bootsie Nightingale, here we come.
Yeah.
See you later.
What is a Bootsie Nightingale? Oh, um, uh, tell her, Roge.
Oh, didn't you tell her about Bootsie Nightingale? TONY: No.
Oh, Bootsie Nightingale is an award.
It's an Oscar.
The movies have their Oscars, and the, uh, TV have their Emmys.
And the hospital benefits have their Bootsie Nightingales.
Yeah, that That's right.
Wh-what do you think of that? Not much.
All right, Bootsie is a Roge, um Bootsie Nightingale is a movie star.
And she's gonna be a guest at the benefit ball.
Now you're in trouble.
TONY: No, don't be silly.
Jeannie understands about these things, don't you, Jeannie? Oh, yes.
That is why you are in trouble.
I will not let you go to a party with a movie star.
Oh, I'm not going with Bootsie Nightingale.
I may not even meet her.
There'll be a hundred people there.
A hundred and one.
No, you're not going.
Oh, but why? Well, because I have a A lot of the guests to take care of.
Yeah, and there's going to be a lot of guests that need taking care of.
And you will not be with this Footsie Nightingale? [CHUCKLES.]
"Bootsie.
" Bootsie Nightingale.
I'm afraid the old girl will just have to find herself another escort.
She's old? Uh, she used to play opposite Rudolph Valentino.
Rudolph Valentino? Aristophanes.
Oh.
She is old.
Well, I'll I'll see you later.
But I have never been to a benefit ball! JEANNIE: Master.
I just remembered, I have a perfect dress to wear.
It was designed by Cleopatra, and Mark Antony loved it.
Oh, well, let him give a party for you.
You're not coming to this one.
Now, where are you, Jeannie? Is it because you would be ashamed of me? Ah, you know that's not the reason.
You know that.
Jeannie? Jeannie? [SIGHS.]
Well, you know how I feel about you.
I'd never be ashamed to take you any place.
I bet you'd look beautiful in Cleopatra's gown.
Maybe you can wear it some other time.
Maybe she'll give If you're busy with Cleopatra, I can come back.
No, sir.
I wasn't speaking I was just speaking out loud actually.
Oh, yes.
Do you talk to Cleopatra very often? No.
No, I wasn't speaking to Cleopatra.
I was, let me explain You don't have to explain, major.
Psychologically, it's very healthy to act out your little fantasies.
Say hello for me, won't you? I've always been the great admirer of hers.
[JEANNIE LAUGHS.]
Uh, what'd you say? Nothing.
[JEANNIE LAUGHS.]
Thanks, thanks very much.
Oh, thanks.
Now, colonel, it's very important that we get the right guy to escort Bootsie.
Now, I need a fellow with a lot of zing.
You know what I mean, colonel? I-I-I want a fun astronaut.
Fun astronaut.
With a lot of pizzazz.
A lot of pizzazz.
And good-looking and a little bit offbeat, you know what I mean, colonel? A-a-a Colorful.
You got anybody here this-that's got a lot of color? I have just the man you're looking for, Mr.
Dawkin.
Oh, uh, sergeant.
Tell Major Nelson I want to see him.
Colonel, are you ready for this? That's Bootsie.
You can certainly see she has talent.
Major Nelson, you're escorting Miss Nightingale to the benefit ball.
Oh, um well, I think you'd better get somebody else, sir.
Oh, he's really colorful.
What's the matter with you? You've got something against beautiful women? Oh, no.
It's just that I don't think I deserve what's gonna happen to me.
He's modest.
It's all settled, major.
Um, sir, I'd really appreciate it if you would reconsider.
No, Major Nelson.
Consider it an order.
Um, but this is a social affair.
Now, surely NASA can't order me This order did not come from NASA, Major Nelson.
It came from the top.
The president? Higher than that.
My wife.
[.]
[SIGHS.]
You look so handsome, master.
Well, thank you, Jeannie.
Do you know who you should take tonight? No, no.
Who? Bootsie Nightingale.
What, uh? What made you say that? I feel sorry for her.
An old woman all alone at a party with no one to talk to.
If you were her escort, think how exciting it would be.
Yeah, I've thought.
I've thought.
She would never get over it.
Yeah, a lot of us would have a hard time getting over it.
Why don't you stay at home now and forget about the party and have a wonderful time looking at television, huh? [DOORBELL RINGS.]
Yes, master.
I'll get it.
It's probably Roger.
ROGER: I'll fight you for her.
Huh? I just heard you have a date with the girl I'm going to marry.
Keep your voice down.
You steal the most beautiful woman in the world away from me? You want me to keep my voice down? Easy.
Well, gee, I have a mind to tell her the whole truth, that would fix you.
That would fix everybody.
Good evening, Major Healey.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
You forgot this, master.
Oh, thank you, Jeannie.
I wish you were not going to have such a terrible time.
Terrible time? Oh, with the party? Yes.
Yeah, well, I wish I were going to the dentist.
Roger, let's go.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Boy, you really got her eating out of your hands.
TONY: Yeah, but I have to keep counting my fingers.
Come on.
[GROWLS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Are you sure he's cute, Sam? Bootsie, how many times do I have to tell you, honey? He's adorable.
He's divine, and he's all man.
Ooh.
That's the way I like 'em.
BOOTSIE: You got me all excited, Sam.
I can hardly wait to meet him.
SAM: And he's on his way up.
Oh, he's here! Hello, there.
I've been waiting for you.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
And you're Bootsie Nightingale? [CHUCKLES.]
Well.
[TONY CLEARS THROAT.]
[TONY LAUGHS.]
I've certainly been looking forward to meeting you.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
I must have caught a slight cold.
This is all man? SAM: He didn't talk like that before.
Well, if you think I'm going out with him, you're out of your ever-loving mind.
But I assure you, this is just temporary.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I think I know someone who can cure this almost instantly.
I think, if you could just be patient.
He sounds like he escaped from a cartoon.
Get him out of here.
TONY: B-but listen I'm sorry, major.
Why don't you go home and come back when you're feeling better.
I can SAM: Nothing personal.
But this is not m-my voice.
What is your next false move? Wait.
Jeannie! Jeannie, I know you're here.
You're around here someplace.
Dr.
Bellows gave Jeannie! Jeannie! Tony, where you been? I've been waiting in that car for hours.
Wh-where's Bootsie? Oh, she's in there.
Listen, I came to pick her up, and listen what happened to my voice? [LAUGHS.]
Very funny.
Jeannie! Jeannie, where are you? Better count your fingers.
[WHISTLES.]
Hello.
I'm Major Healey.
Oh, come in.
Come in.
Say something.
I love you.
He'll do.
SAM: Yeah, Major, how would you like to escort Miss Nightingale to the benefit ball tonight? [SIGHS.]
TONY: Jeannie, it was my fault.
I didn't tell you the whole Roger! Roger.
Tell her that this voice condition is just temporary.
Go ahead, tell her.
Tell her.
Poor devil, that's what happens when you're up in space too long.
Wai Aah! She's a sweet little old lady.
Jeannie, get rid of this voice.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Voice.
Now, do you know what you've done? Yes, master.
If you will excuse me now, I must get dressed.
I am going to my first charity ball! Oh, no, you're not.
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Well.
Here we are.
Yes, we certainly are.
[SIGHS.]
You know, I could spend the rest of my life looking at you.
Oh, I dig you too.
I mean it was like, wow, pow! The first time I set eyes on you Robert.
It's R-Roger.
Yes.
And you can call me Bootsie, baby.
Bootsie baby.
Excuse me, have you seen Major Nelson? Who? She means Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse? Pardon me, Alfred? Oh, excuse me, Neil.
Darling, where is Major Nelson? Oh, isn't he with Miss Nightingale? No, Miss Nightingale is with Major Healey.
Well, I arranged for Major Nelson to be her escort.
Something must have gone wrong.
What do you mean? Well, Miss Nightingale just called Major Nelson Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse? Why would she call him that? I don't know.
But I smell a rat.
Oh! Let's go look for him, darling.
Yes.
No, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Now, let's see I'm sorry.
That's okay.
There.
Good evening, master, darling.
Do you like my new dress? Jeannie Oh, it's a lovely party.
Thank you so much for inviting me.
I-I-I not only didn't invite you, I am ordering you to leave immediately.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
If you ever do this to me again, I'm gonna [CLEARS THROAT.]
Jeannie? Yes, master? I want you to stay at the party and have a wonderful time.
Oh, thank you, master.
Yeah.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
I will see you later.
Wait a minute, where's Miss Nightingale? Oh, she's with Major Healey.
Huh? They make a perfect couple.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
I c-c-can't get over it.
What can't you get over, baby? Me sitting here with you.
Holding my hand? H-holding your h-hand.
[GASPS.]
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I guess I'm a little nervous.
You nervous? Why, I bet you just drive all the girls wild with your animal magnetism.
Well, I wouldn't say I drive them wild If there's anything I love, it's a modest hero.
I just get chills all over thinking about those planets you go to.
Mars and Juniper and J-J-Jupiter.
Yes, and Venus.
Venus, the planet of love.
After we're engaged, you'll have to stay on the ground.
Well, I can't stay on the ground.
You see, we're working on this Apollo mission and to the moon After we're engaged? If that's what you want.
If that's what I want? I want what you want.
Right now, I want you to get off my foot.
I'm sorry.
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
I ripped your dress.
I'll get the maid to sew it up.
Don't move.
Stay right there.
I can't believe it.
Me, engaged to Bootsie Nightingale.
Oh, Tony.
Tony? Oh, hi.
Well, congratulate me.
Congratulations.
Aren't? Aren't you gonna ask me why? No.
Where's Bootsie Nightingale? That's why.
What? We're engaged.
I'm engaged to Bootsie Nightingale.
We're going to get married.
What are you talking about? I can't understand it myself.
I swept her off her feet.
[HUMMING.]
Hey, everything a-o? What happened to you? I'll tell you what happened to me.
That astronaut happened to me.
Ten-to-one, he'll knock down the moon.
Lower your voice.
[LAUGHS.]
You're talking about your fiancé.
Are you kidding me? I'll go back to television first.
Don't, uh Don't even say that in jest.
I've already hinted to the press that you'll marry the astronaut.
They don't grow on bushes, you know.
Oh, that's all I needed.
Now, here comes Mickey Mouse.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
I wanted to explain Your voice.
Oh, yes, I wanted to explain about that.
I love it.
Huh? You can make the announcement.
Give me 10 minutes.
That's my girl.
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
I was supposed to escort Oh, you don't have to tell me who you are, sweetie.
I go to sleep every night with your picture under my pillow.
TONY: I, uh I I'll bet you drive all the girls wild with your animal magnetism.
I-I beg your pardon? If there's anything I love, it's a modest hero.
I get chills all over thinking of those planets you go to.
Mars and Juniper [CHUCKLES.]
Jupiter.
And Venus.
Venus, the planet of love.
Well, I I just talked to, uh, Roger.
He was under the impression He's a boy.
Yeah, well, he's old enough to I like men.
[LAUGHING.]
Roger says that you think you wanna get married.
Don't you? Oh, of course.
One of these Excuse me.
Ah-ha! Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? Please.
Miss Bootsie Nightingale has a very important announcement to make.
[DRUMROLL.]
This is the happiest moment of my life.
BOOTSIE: Ladies and gentlemen, my dear fans What is going on? I think she'll make a little wedding announcement.
Excuse me.
BOOTSIE: To thank every one of you for making this possible for me.
They're not giving you an Oscar, sweetheart.
Just make the announcement.
BOOTSIE: Excuse me.
Come on.
SAM: Do you mind? [SHRIEKS.]
Oh, never mind.
Oh, that's a trooper.
Get up there.
Make the announcement, honey.
Ladies and gentlemen I've just become engaged to the most wonderful [SHRIEKS.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
[WAILING.]
Bootsie, baby, what have they done to you? What, what happened, baby? Get away from me.
Get away! Now, now, Bootsie SAM: I do not want to hurt you.
Baby, please.
Will you stop? [.]
Have you heard from Major Healey this morning, master? No.
I think he's probably so upset about what happened last night, he doesn't want to show his face.
Major Healey falls in love very easily, does he not? Yeah, that he does.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hi, Roger Hi, Tony.
Hi, Jeannie.
We were just talking about you.
Good morning, Major Healey.
How are you feeling? H? How am I feeling? I never felt better in my whole life.
Oh, we were afraid that you would be unhappy because you didn't marry Bootsie Nightingale.
Me unhappy? Oh, you don't think I took that seriously, do you? Didn't you? You've got to learn to know me better.
You don't think I was impressed with the Hollywood phony glamour.
She was just another blond.
Good, good.
Would you like a cup of coffee? No, thank you.
I'm in kind of a hurry.
I have a fellow waiting outside.
Tony, can I borrow your car? What's the matter with yours? I'm having trouble with my brakes.
Could you lend me your keys? There's a fellow waiting Good morning, everybody.
Hi, fellow.
What a beautiful day to go flying.
Major Healey has promised to take me for a ride in his very own space capsule.
I'm so excited.
I can just imagine the newspaper headlines now.
Glamorous Hollywood star and handsome astronaut slinging their way through the universe [.]