I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s03e11 Episode Script
Tony's Wife
[.]
I've been looking all over for you and here you are.
I live here.
Oh, I did not know you were coming, sister.
I've come to warn you.
You've got to get out of here.
[SCOFFS.]
Get out of here? But I live here.
Doll baby, have you read your zodiac chart? No.
You're under the terrible sign of the jinx.
Everything you do for the next 15 years is going to be disastrous.
Oh If you hang around your Major Nelson, you're going to wipe him out.
Wipe him out? Mmm, that's right.
Oh, dear, what am I going to do? You're going to get out of here.
Go back to Baghdad.
Oh.
For 15 years? Oh, he will have forgotten me by then.
Well, look at it this way, darling.
It's for his own good.
I have never heard of this terrible sign of the jinx.
Well, don't say I didn't warn you, darling.
I must get back to my master.
Bye.
Bye.
Oh, my sister and her silly ideas.
[CAR HONKING.]
Oh, my master [CRASHES.]
[HONKING.]
Oh! Master.
That's the third accident that's happened to me today.
[LAUGHS.]
I must be jinxed.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Hello.
Oh, hello.
Was today any better, master? Oh, not too bad.
Not too bad, Jeannie.
I slipped and fell in a puddle of oil.
And I lost my wallet.
And I burned up a fuel-ratio chart I'd been working on for the last couple of weeks, but that is I just don't know what's gone wrong, Jeannie.
I just Oh, do not worry, master.
It will not last much longer.
I hope not.
I don't think I can survive.
You don't mind if I have dinner in bed? Oh, I'm afraid not, master.
We are expecting a guest.
Tonight? Tonight? Well, listen, I I'm not really in a mood to have guests tonight.
Why don't you, uh You tell Mozart or Shakespeare or King Lear Whoever it is.
Just tell them I'm tired.
I'm not interested in having them.
[KNOCKING.]
Oh, it is too late.
Oh, no, it's not.
I'll get it, and I'll send them away.
Please, please.
Hello.
Oh, hello.
Hi, I hope I'm not late.
I'm Helen Wheeler.
Hello.
Hi, how are you? I'm so glad you could come.
Thank you.
This is Major Nelson.
How do you do? I know, I'm a big fan of yours.
Oh? Oh, you two have so much in common.
Jeannie, um Jeannie.
Now just relax and pretend like this is your home.
Jeannie, could I speak to you a minute please? Oh, well, I, uh I must see to the dinner.
Make yourselves comfortable.
Yeah.
Uh, you and Jeannie old friends? Well, we met in the beauty parlor this morning.
[.]
Ahh.
Your sister certainly thinks the world of you.
Yes, we have quite a nice relationship.
My s My sister? She adores you.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes, yes.
Good kid.
Would you excuse me just a second? I have to Just make yourself at home, all right? Certainly.
Jeannie.
Well, dinner will be ready in a minute, master.
Never mind about dinner.
I wanna talk to you, sister.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, sister.
Yes, what do you think you're doing? Well, I'm finding you a girlfriend.
Is she not pretty? And she can cook and sew.
Yeah, w Wait a minute.
What's going on? The last girl I even looked at, you turned into a chimpanzee.
What have What have you got in store for this one? Oh, well, I will never behave that way again, master.
I have been thinking, and I want you to have all the girlfriends you wish.
You what? After all, you are a A handsome, young bachelor.
You should You should be going out every night.
Yeah, but I Well, I thought that you and I had something Oh, well, for Forget about me, master.
You will like Helen, and you have a great deal in common.
I found her through a computer machine at a dating club.
A computer machine at a dating club? Helen graduated from the University of Florida.
She has a mistress degree.
That That's a master's degree.
Oh, I thought when you were a boy, it was a master's degree, but if you were a girl No, no.
No, it doesn't No, doesn't work that way.
Oh.
Well, anyway.
She was voted Miss North Cocoa Beach.
She has worked as a model.
She loves children.
Your sister's my biggest booster.
Yeah, she seems to be.
Well, if you will excuse me now, I think I will go, uh Um, clean up the patio.
At midnight? HELEN: Oh, I had no idea it was that late.
Would you mind calling a taxi for me? Oh, Major Nelson will drive you home.
Sure, sure.
Why don't you come with us, huh? [PHONE RINGS.]
Don't Hello? Don't answer the phone, would you, please? It is for me.
I cannot talk now.
[QUIETLY.]
He's here.
Yes, I remember what you said.
Then why aren't you out of there, darling? I will leave as soon as I can.
I-I will meet you later.
Ah, good show.
[LAUGHS.]
And who was that, huh? Mm.
Ah! A friend.
Shall we go? Oh, yes, you two just run along.
Yeah, she probably has a date or something.
Yes.
You do? Uh-huh.
You have a date? Mm-hm.
Tonight? Mm-hm.
Oh, well, I Well, I guess we better be running along.
Bye, Jeannie.
Thanks for the dinner.
Oh, it was nothing.
Have a good time.
Thank you.
I will.
Well, good night sis.
He's gone.
Oh, yes.
If only I could tell him why I must leave.
And have him beg you to stay? Oh, believe me, darling, the best thing for you to do is to go on back home and don't say a word to him.
But he is already suspicious.
He's wondering why I'm introducing beautiful girls to him.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes.
I'd like to know too.
I am doing it because I cannot bear the thought of him being alone all those years.
I must get him married before I leave.
Get him? [LAUGHS.]
Good thinking, good thinking.
My, when they passed out brains in our family, they really gave you an extra helping.
Thank you.
[.]
[LAUGHS.]
She's incredible.
Imagine, a genie believing in jinxes.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, time to go to work.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Thanks so much for bringing me home.
My pleasure.
Will I see you again? Well, I, uh, certainly [SQUEALS.]
Oh! Oh! [GRUNTING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Not if I can help it, darling.
Wait! Oh! Oh! And you think I did it? Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
A-are you sure you didn't get jealous Oh, of course not, master.
I wanted you to go out with her.
All I was doing is standing there saying good night, and the whole trellis fell down on top of me.
Well, it, uh, must have been an accident.
Yeah, I I guess they don't build trellises the way they used to, huh? Do you like her, master? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's a very nice girl.
Then you will see her again tomorrow night.
No, you and I are going to the ballet tomorrow night.
Oh, well, I I am sorry.
I cannot.
I I made another date.
Oh, I see.
Well, hope you go and have a lot of fun.
Mm-hm.
I will.
Good.
Good night.
Good night.
Poor master.
Oh, poor me.
It's Major Nelson here.
Has Major Healey come to the gate yet? I I see.
When he does, would you have him drop in and see me at my office? Yes, it's It's rather important.
Thank you.
Major? Oh.
I was in the building.
I just had to drop in and say hello.
Nice to see you.
Oh, Amanda.
You really shouldn't barge in like this.
I'm sure that Major Nelson's in the middle of something very important.
No.
I I just had a wonderful idea, major.
Alfred told me that you play a marvelous game of bridge.
Well, I I play occasionally, yes.
Well, now, if you're not going to be busy a week from tonight, Alfred and I would love to have you come by the house and play bridge with us.
You see, the Leeds, our regular partners, are out of town.
Perhaps you'd like to bring someone.
Good idea.
Yes, major, how about, uh, your girlfriend? Um, well, as a matter of fact, there is someone I'd like to bring.
Oh, lovely.
Well, we'll be looking forward to it.
Oh, well, thank you.
Oh, hi.
I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company.
The gate said you wanted to see me.
We were about to leave.
Hello, Major Healey.
Hello, Mrs.
Bellows.
Oh, incidentally, major, do you play bridge? Amanda.
Hm? [GROANS.]
Goodbye.
I can't wait to see him on the moon.
Is anything wrong? They said it was urgent.
Yeah, I got a problem.
It's Jeannie.
Did anything happen to Jeannie? I think she's trying to get rid of me.
Why would she wanna do that? She's crazy about you.
Yeah, well, I thought so too.
She brought a A beautiful girl home last night, Roger.
Practically threw her at me.
I mean, she was gorgeous.
She said if I don't like this one, she'll get me another one.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Jeannie brought a beautiful girl home to you, and said if you didn't like her, she'd get another.
She never did anything like this before.
Yeah, well, I happen to be free tonight, maybe the other girl, you could get for me.
I think she's planning on On leaving me.
Did you have a fight or something? No, I didn't have any fight.
I Well, I don't think so.
I don't know, I just don't know.
Well, maybe, uh, she's just tired of you, and she wants a new master.
Wha? What do you mean? You're not so easy to live with, you know.
Who says so? All she wants to do is please you, and what do you do? What? You yell, you never take her to dinner.
You always leave her home.
You take her for granted.
You wanna know something? You're a rotten master.
I am not a rotten master.
I happen to be very good.
I gotta put up with a lot You gotta put up with a lot? That's pretty funny.
You gotta put up with I waited all morning to hear you give me this kind of advice? You waited all morning? If you don't want my advice, why don't you just get out? You bet your life! Yeah, you bet your life, yeah.
Oh.
And I have to He I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm I'm sorry too.
Besides, it's It's my office.
Yeah.
It's your It's your office.
Silly argument.
Nice one.
You look very nice, master.
Oh, thanks, Jeannie.
I hope Helen thinks so.
Oh, I am sure she will.
The computing machine said she would be the perfect mate for you.
Oh, yeah.
I can't thank you enough for finding Helen for me, Jeannie.
She's really a wonderful girl.
Bright and beautiful and warm.
Warm? Mm-hm.
Oh, well, I I'm glad.
Jeannie? Yes, master.
You know, um I don't have to take Helen out tonight.
I mean, I thought maybe you and I could take a drive on the beach.
Oh, well, I'm sorry, master.
But I cannot break my date.
Oh.
I see.
Well Well, have fun.
Oh.
Thank you, master.
I I will.
I'm gonna have a lot of fun.
Oh, I hope so.
I wish I had been born a turtle.
[.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, it's such a beautiful day for a drive.
Yeah, yeah.
Cocoa Beach really Really a beautiful place this time of year.
Look at how green this park is.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, we should have our next picnic here.
Oh, good idea.
[SCREAMS.]
I can't Can't see! [TONY SCREAMS.]
[HELEN SCREAMS.]
Jeannie! Jea What are you trying to do to me, anyway? I could have been killed.
What happened? You know perfectly well what happened.
The top of my car attacked me.
Oh, dear.
Oh, well, I I-I-I must fix it.
You've fixed enough already.
Listen, if you're jealous of me because I'm taking Helen out Oh, no, master, no.
I want you to take her out.
Yeah? Mm-hm.
You do? Well, good.
Good.
Because I'm taking her out on a picnic tomorrow.
Hope you're hungry, 'cause I have nothing but food.
Oh, good, good.
What did you bring? Well, I have a little chicken and I have little sandwiches.
Yeah? And fruits.
Wait till you see this chicken.
There we are.
Is there any left? What? Orange juice.
Oh, sure.
May I? [GASPS.]
Tony! Oh, darling.
I did not.
You did too.
I did not.
You did.
Listen, I'm taking Helen out again, and just to make certain you're not gonna interfere, I want you to get back in your bottle.
Oh, but, master Get.
Now, go on in.
In.
Oh, no, you do not Come on, in.
But Jeannie.
I can't [SQUEALS.]
Very well, master.
Thank you.
Yeah.
[.]
[.]
Tony, the canoe! [SCREAMING.]
Jeannie! Somebody help! Hey! Over here, Tony.
Helen, come here.
HELEN: Oh, help me.
Help! Helen.
Help! Helen! Stop.
Wait.
Come back.
[LAUGHS.]
[.]
All right, I don't know how you got out of there, but I'm sure gonna find out You're still in there.
Jeannie, would you come out of there, please? Oh, you are home ear You are wet.
Uh-huh.
Oh, thanks.
What happened? Oh, just another one of my little accidents.
Wait a minute.
You You couldn't have done it.
You were in the bottle.
You didn't do it.
No.
Now, what's going on here? Now, what is it? I am bringing you bad luck.
Who told you that? My sister.
Your si? Your sister? Your sister's back here again? Huh, your sister? She said that I must leave you for the next 15 years.
I am under the terrible sign of the jinx.
Jeannie, don't you realize she's tricked you again? There's There's no terrible sign of the jinx.
She's responsible for all these accidents.
Then I do not have to leave you? No, of course not.
Oh, I'm so happy! Ah! Shh.
Where is she? Where is who? Your sister.
Oh, I do not know.
We've gotta catch her.
Well Well, how are we go Shh.
Going to do that? We are going to trap her.
And we've gotta make her show herself, and then we'll trap her.
Oh, but master, she's very Shh.
She's very powerful.
How are you going to do that? Uh, well, we've gotta find some bait for the trap.
Uh, let's see.
Does she like, um, um, furs? Furs? No.
Um Yachts? No.
Uh, caviar? No.
Uh, perfume? No.
Uh, men? No.
Yes.
What, men? Perfume.
Yeah? Oh, she's so spoiled she makes her master keep her in a perfume bottle.
Yeah? [LAUGHING.]
Okay, we'll just spoil her a little more.
Uh, now I've gotta get dressed, I'm taking Helen to a bridge party at Dr.
Bellows' tonight.
You're going out with Helen tonight? Well, it was your idea, you know.
Oh, but I Jeannie, I'm doing it for you.
[.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
BELLOWS: Oh, here they are.
AMANDA: Yeah.
Well, good evening, Major Nelson.
Dr.
Bellows, Mrs.
Bellows.
This is Helen Wheeler.
Well, hello, Miss Wheeler.
Welcome, Helen.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh.
I had to drop into a store to get, uh, Mrs.
Bellows a little present.
Well, now.
How thoughtful of you, major.
Thank you.
That's nice.
Uh Maybe you'd like to open it? Now? Yes.
Yes, why not? Oh, Miss Wheeler, won't you, uh Please call me Helen.
Let's see, let's see.
Oh, major, it's Miss Moderne.
That is my very favorite.
Oh, really? Thank you so much.
I'm so glad you like it, it's nothing.
Maybe you'd like to try it, huh? Why now? Well, I love the smell of perfume, sir.
Oh.
Don't you? Well, I All right.
Love, this is my favorite.
[SNIFFS.]
Mm.
[MOUTHS WORDS.]
Helen? Well, all right.
Dr.
Bellows? Major.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
BELLOWS: Major Can we begin now, please? Yes, of course.
[BELLOWS HUMMING.]
Major.
Yes? It's your play.
Mm? Oh, yes.
All right, sir.
Major.
Mm-hm? Clubs are called for.
Oh.
Can I take it back? You have to.
Major, have you ever played this game before? Oh, yes.
My trick.
HELEN: May I have some water? BELLOWS: Oh, certainly.
Excuse me.
I'll get some too.
Uh Here you are, Mrs.
Bellows.
Thank you very much.
Here you are, Helen.
Thank you.
You trumped my ace.
Huh? Oh, oh Well, that That was my card, yeah.
What Major, you have your whole hand exposed.
Oh.
Uh.
I'm sorry.
Gotcha! Oh, I think you're mad.
What are you doing? Uh, Mrs.
Bellows, I wonder if I could talk to you, please.
Yes, what? May I borrow your perfume? Whatever for? I forgot it's Helen's birthday, and, uh, she loves perfume.
Major, it's been opened.
Yes, I I know, but it's It's the sentiment that counts.
She's very sentimental.
Well, if you think she'd like an unwrapped, open bottle of someone else's perfume, go right ahead.
That's very kind of you.
Would you like the box? Oh, major.
I don't know what's the matter with you tonight.
Now, look It's It's 9:00, sir.
So? Well, I've been working for three and a half weeks on the Sagittarius project.
I had no idea.
I'm sorry, I just can't keep my eyes open.
I guess in that case, we can't expect Helen.
Thank you so much, sir.
You must come again.
Thanks for the bridge game.
We'll do it again.
Good night.
Thank you, good night.
You know, really, Amanda, sometimes I feel that every Your towel.
Alfred.
Yes, Amanda.
Darling, do you really think you're helping the major? Hmm.
Jeannie, I got her.
Jeannie! Yes, master.
Oh.
I got her.
Oh, how wonderful.
Safely locked away.
When are we going to let her out? We're not gonna let her out.
You're gonna put her someplace where we won't have to worry about her again.
Oh, but master Wait a minute.
I went through a lot of trouble to catch that young girl.
You get rid of her.
Put her someplace where we won't have to see her for 2000 years.
Oh, well, I cannot do that, master.
But I have a better idea.
What? There, we will mail her back to her master in Baghdad.
[LAUGHING.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh, you look beautiful, master.
Oh, thank you.
I suppose you will be going to the Surf for dinner.
Mm-hm.
And then perhaps dancing and a-a drive along the beach.
That's right.
It is a beautiful night for it.
Yeah, yeah.
Full moon.
Have a wonderful time.
I will.
A-and do not worry about getting home early.
I won't.
I will be fine.
Good.
Good night, Jeannie.
Good night.
Well, why should he not go out with Helen? The computer said she would be perfect for him.
Oh, what does the old computer know? [KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Who is it? Me.
Master.
Well, aren't you dressed yet? They're not gonna hold a table.
It's a very busy restaurant.
But I thought You know I hate to have a date keep me waiting.
Now will you hurry up? Oh, master.
Oh, I am so happy.
Jeannie.
The next time you wanna know who's right for me don't ask a machine.
Ask me.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Who is it? Me.
Oh, it's Roge.
Hi.
Hi, Roge.
Hi.
You sure have a sweet-smelling mailbox.
Look what just I found, a bottle of perfume.
No, don't open Whoa! [SCREAMING.]
[.]
I've been looking all over for you and here you are.
I live here.
Oh, I did not know you were coming, sister.
I've come to warn you.
You've got to get out of here.
[SCOFFS.]
Get out of here? But I live here.
Doll baby, have you read your zodiac chart? No.
You're under the terrible sign of the jinx.
Everything you do for the next 15 years is going to be disastrous.
Oh If you hang around your Major Nelson, you're going to wipe him out.
Wipe him out? Mmm, that's right.
Oh, dear, what am I going to do? You're going to get out of here.
Go back to Baghdad.
Oh.
For 15 years? Oh, he will have forgotten me by then.
Well, look at it this way, darling.
It's for his own good.
I have never heard of this terrible sign of the jinx.
Well, don't say I didn't warn you, darling.
I must get back to my master.
Bye.
Bye.
Oh, my sister and her silly ideas.
[CAR HONKING.]
Oh, my master [CRASHES.]
[HONKING.]
Oh! Master.
That's the third accident that's happened to me today.
[LAUGHS.]
I must be jinxed.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Hello.
Oh, hello.
Was today any better, master? Oh, not too bad.
Not too bad, Jeannie.
I slipped and fell in a puddle of oil.
And I lost my wallet.
And I burned up a fuel-ratio chart I'd been working on for the last couple of weeks, but that is I just don't know what's gone wrong, Jeannie.
I just Oh, do not worry, master.
It will not last much longer.
I hope not.
I don't think I can survive.
You don't mind if I have dinner in bed? Oh, I'm afraid not, master.
We are expecting a guest.
Tonight? Tonight? Well, listen, I I'm not really in a mood to have guests tonight.
Why don't you, uh You tell Mozart or Shakespeare or King Lear Whoever it is.
Just tell them I'm tired.
I'm not interested in having them.
[KNOCKING.]
Oh, it is too late.
Oh, no, it's not.
I'll get it, and I'll send them away.
Please, please.
Hello.
Oh, hello.
Hi, I hope I'm not late.
I'm Helen Wheeler.
Hello.
Hi, how are you? I'm so glad you could come.
Thank you.
This is Major Nelson.
How do you do? I know, I'm a big fan of yours.
Oh? Oh, you two have so much in common.
Jeannie, um Jeannie.
Now just relax and pretend like this is your home.
Jeannie, could I speak to you a minute please? Oh, well, I, uh I must see to the dinner.
Make yourselves comfortable.
Yeah.
Uh, you and Jeannie old friends? Well, we met in the beauty parlor this morning.
[.]
Ahh.
Your sister certainly thinks the world of you.
Yes, we have quite a nice relationship.
My s My sister? She adores you.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes, yes.
Good kid.
Would you excuse me just a second? I have to Just make yourself at home, all right? Certainly.
Jeannie.
Well, dinner will be ready in a minute, master.
Never mind about dinner.
I wanna talk to you, sister.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, sister.
Yes, what do you think you're doing? Well, I'm finding you a girlfriend.
Is she not pretty? And she can cook and sew.
Yeah, w Wait a minute.
What's going on? The last girl I even looked at, you turned into a chimpanzee.
What have What have you got in store for this one? Oh, well, I will never behave that way again, master.
I have been thinking, and I want you to have all the girlfriends you wish.
You what? After all, you are a A handsome, young bachelor.
You should You should be going out every night.
Yeah, but I Well, I thought that you and I had something Oh, well, for Forget about me, master.
You will like Helen, and you have a great deal in common.
I found her through a computer machine at a dating club.
A computer machine at a dating club? Helen graduated from the University of Florida.
She has a mistress degree.
That That's a master's degree.
Oh, I thought when you were a boy, it was a master's degree, but if you were a girl No, no.
No, it doesn't No, doesn't work that way.
Oh.
Well, anyway.
She was voted Miss North Cocoa Beach.
She has worked as a model.
She loves children.
Your sister's my biggest booster.
Yeah, she seems to be.
Well, if you will excuse me now, I think I will go, uh Um, clean up the patio.
At midnight? HELEN: Oh, I had no idea it was that late.
Would you mind calling a taxi for me? Oh, Major Nelson will drive you home.
Sure, sure.
Why don't you come with us, huh? [PHONE RINGS.]
Don't Hello? Don't answer the phone, would you, please? It is for me.
I cannot talk now.
[QUIETLY.]
He's here.
Yes, I remember what you said.
Then why aren't you out of there, darling? I will leave as soon as I can.
I-I will meet you later.
Ah, good show.
[LAUGHS.]
And who was that, huh? Mm.
Ah! A friend.
Shall we go? Oh, yes, you two just run along.
Yeah, she probably has a date or something.
Yes.
You do? Uh-huh.
You have a date? Mm-hm.
Tonight? Mm-hm.
Oh, well, I Well, I guess we better be running along.
Bye, Jeannie.
Thanks for the dinner.
Oh, it was nothing.
Have a good time.
Thank you.
I will.
Well, good night sis.
He's gone.
Oh, yes.
If only I could tell him why I must leave.
And have him beg you to stay? Oh, believe me, darling, the best thing for you to do is to go on back home and don't say a word to him.
But he is already suspicious.
He's wondering why I'm introducing beautiful girls to him.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes.
I'd like to know too.
I am doing it because I cannot bear the thought of him being alone all those years.
I must get him married before I leave.
Get him? [LAUGHS.]
Good thinking, good thinking.
My, when they passed out brains in our family, they really gave you an extra helping.
Thank you.
[.]
[LAUGHS.]
She's incredible.
Imagine, a genie believing in jinxes.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, time to go to work.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Thanks so much for bringing me home.
My pleasure.
Will I see you again? Well, I, uh, certainly [SQUEALS.]
Oh! Oh! [GRUNTING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Not if I can help it, darling.
Wait! Oh! Oh! And you think I did it? Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
A-are you sure you didn't get jealous Oh, of course not, master.
I wanted you to go out with her.
All I was doing is standing there saying good night, and the whole trellis fell down on top of me.
Well, it, uh, must have been an accident.
Yeah, I I guess they don't build trellises the way they used to, huh? Do you like her, master? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's a very nice girl.
Then you will see her again tomorrow night.
No, you and I are going to the ballet tomorrow night.
Oh, well, I I am sorry.
I cannot.
I I made another date.
Oh, I see.
Well, hope you go and have a lot of fun.
Mm-hm.
I will.
Good.
Good night.
Good night.
Poor master.
Oh, poor me.
It's Major Nelson here.
Has Major Healey come to the gate yet? I I see.
When he does, would you have him drop in and see me at my office? Yes, it's It's rather important.
Thank you.
Major? Oh.
I was in the building.
I just had to drop in and say hello.
Nice to see you.
Oh, Amanda.
You really shouldn't barge in like this.
I'm sure that Major Nelson's in the middle of something very important.
No.
I I just had a wonderful idea, major.
Alfred told me that you play a marvelous game of bridge.
Well, I I play occasionally, yes.
Well, now, if you're not going to be busy a week from tonight, Alfred and I would love to have you come by the house and play bridge with us.
You see, the Leeds, our regular partners, are out of town.
Perhaps you'd like to bring someone.
Good idea.
Yes, major, how about, uh, your girlfriend? Um, well, as a matter of fact, there is someone I'd like to bring.
Oh, lovely.
Well, we'll be looking forward to it.
Oh, well, thank you.
Oh, hi.
I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company.
The gate said you wanted to see me.
We were about to leave.
Hello, Major Healey.
Hello, Mrs.
Bellows.
Oh, incidentally, major, do you play bridge? Amanda.
Hm? [GROANS.]
Goodbye.
I can't wait to see him on the moon.
Is anything wrong? They said it was urgent.
Yeah, I got a problem.
It's Jeannie.
Did anything happen to Jeannie? I think she's trying to get rid of me.
Why would she wanna do that? She's crazy about you.
Yeah, well, I thought so too.
She brought a A beautiful girl home last night, Roger.
Practically threw her at me.
I mean, she was gorgeous.
She said if I don't like this one, she'll get me another one.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Jeannie brought a beautiful girl home to you, and said if you didn't like her, she'd get another.
She never did anything like this before.
Yeah, well, I happen to be free tonight, maybe the other girl, you could get for me.
I think she's planning on On leaving me.
Did you have a fight or something? No, I didn't have any fight.
I Well, I don't think so.
I don't know, I just don't know.
Well, maybe, uh, she's just tired of you, and she wants a new master.
Wha? What do you mean? You're not so easy to live with, you know.
Who says so? All she wants to do is please you, and what do you do? What? You yell, you never take her to dinner.
You always leave her home.
You take her for granted.
You wanna know something? You're a rotten master.
I am not a rotten master.
I happen to be very good.
I gotta put up with a lot You gotta put up with a lot? That's pretty funny.
You gotta put up with I waited all morning to hear you give me this kind of advice? You waited all morning? If you don't want my advice, why don't you just get out? You bet your life! Yeah, you bet your life, yeah.
Oh.
And I have to He I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm I'm sorry too.
Besides, it's It's my office.
Yeah.
It's your It's your office.
Silly argument.
Nice one.
You look very nice, master.
Oh, thanks, Jeannie.
I hope Helen thinks so.
Oh, I am sure she will.
The computing machine said she would be the perfect mate for you.
Oh, yeah.
I can't thank you enough for finding Helen for me, Jeannie.
She's really a wonderful girl.
Bright and beautiful and warm.
Warm? Mm-hm.
Oh, well, I I'm glad.
Jeannie? Yes, master.
You know, um I don't have to take Helen out tonight.
I mean, I thought maybe you and I could take a drive on the beach.
Oh, well, I'm sorry, master.
But I cannot break my date.
Oh.
I see.
Well Well, have fun.
Oh.
Thank you, master.
I I will.
I'm gonna have a lot of fun.
Oh, I hope so.
I wish I had been born a turtle.
[.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, it's such a beautiful day for a drive.
Yeah, yeah.
Cocoa Beach really Really a beautiful place this time of year.
Look at how green this park is.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, we should have our next picnic here.
Oh, good idea.
[SCREAMS.]
I can't Can't see! [TONY SCREAMS.]
[HELEN SCREAMS.]
Jeannie! Jea What are you trying to do to me, anyway? I could have been killed.
What happened? You know perfectly well what happened.
The top of my car attacked me.
Oh, dear.
Oh, well, I I-I-I must fix it.
You've fixed enough already.
Listen, if you're jealous of me because I'm taking Helen out Oh, no, master, no.
I want you to take her out.
Yeah? Mm-hm.
You do? Well, good.
Good.
Because I'm taking her out on a picnic tomorrow.
Hope you're hungry, 'cause I have nothing but food.
Oh, good, good.
What did you bring? Well, I have a little chicken and I have little sandwiches.
Yeah? And fruits.
Wait till you see this chicken.
There we are.
Is there any left? What? Orange juice.
Oh, sure.
May I? [GASPS.]
Tony! Oh, darling.
I did not.
You did too.
I did not.
You did.
Listen, I'm taking Helen out again, and just to make certain you're not gonna interfere, I want you to get back in your bottle.
Oh, but, master Get.
Now, go on in.
In.
Oh, no, you do not Come on, in.
But Jeannie.
I can't [SQUEALS.]
Very well, master.
Thank you.
Yeah.
[.]
[.]
Tony, the canoe! [SCREAMING.]
Jeannie! Somebody help! Hey! Over here, Tony.
Helen, come here.
HELEN: Oh, help me.
Help! Helen.
Help! Helen! Stop.
Wait.
Come back.
[LAUGHS.]
[.]
All right, I don't know how you got out of there, but I'm sure gonna find out You're still in there.
Jeannie, would you come out of there, please? Oh, you are home ear You are wet.
Uh-huh.
Oh, thanks.
What happened? Oh, just another one of my little accidents.
Wait a minute.
You You couldn't have done it.
You were in the bottle.
You didn't do it.
No.
Now, what's going on here? Now, what is it? I am bringing you bad luck.
Who told you that? My sister.
Your si? Your sister? Your sister's back here again? Huh, your sister? She said that I must leave you for the next 15 years.
I am under the terrible sign of the jinx.
Jeannie, don't you realize she's tricked you again? There's There's no terrible sign of the jinx.
She's responsible for all these accidents.
Then I do not have to leave you? No, of course not.
Oh, I'm so happy! Ah! Shh.
Where is she? Where is who? Your sister.
Oh, I do not know.
We've gotta catch her.
Well Well, how are we go Shh.
Going to do that? We are going to trap her.
And we've gotta make her show herself, and then we'll trap her.
Oh, but master, she's very Shh.
She's very powerful.
How are you going to do that? Uh, well, we've gotta find some bait for the trap.
Uh, let's see.
Does she like, um, um, furs? Furs? No.
Um Yachts? No.
Uh, caviar? No.
Uh, perfume? No.
Uh, men? No.
Yes.
What, men? Perfume.
Yeah? Oh, she's so spoiled she makes her master keep her in a perfume bottle.
Yeah? [LAUGHING.]
Okay, we'll just spoil her a little more.
Uh, now I've gotta get dressed, I'm taking Helen to a bridge party at Dr.
Bellows' tonight.
You're going out with Helen tonight? Well, it was your idea, you know.
Oh, but I Jeannie, I'm doing it for you.
[.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
BELLOWS: Oh, here they are.
AMANDA: Yeah.
Well, good evening, Major Nelson.
Dr.
Bellows, Mrs.
Bellows.
This is Helen Wheeler.
Well, hello, Miss Wheeler.
Welcome, Helen.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh.
I had to drop into a store to get, uh, Mrs.
Bellows a little present.
Well, now.
How thoughtful of you, major.
Thank you.
That's nice.
Uh Maybe you'd like to open it? Now? Yes.
Yes, why not? Oh, Miss Wheeler, won't you, uh Please call me Helen.
Let's see, let's see.
Oh, major, it's Miss Moderne.
That is my very favorite.
Oh, really? Thank you so much.
I'm so glad you like it, it's nothing.
Maybe you'd like to try it, huh? Why now? Well, I love the smell of perfume, sir.
Oh.
Don't you? Well, I All right.
Love, this is my favorite.
[SNIFFS.]
Mm.
[MOUTHS WORDS.]
Helen? Well, all right.
Dr.
Bellows? Major.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
BELLOWS: Major Can we begin now, please? Yes, of course.
[BELLOWS HUMMING.]
Major.
Yes? It's your play.
Mm? Oh, yes.
All right, sir.
Major.
Mm-hm? Clubs are called for.
Oh.
Can I take it back? You have to.
Major, have you ever played this game before? Oh, yes.
My trick.
HELEN: May I have some water? BELLOWS: Oh, certainly.
Excuse me.
I'll get some too.
Uh Here you are, Mrs.
Bellows.
Thank you very much.
Here you are, Helen.
Thank you.
You trumped my ace.
Huh? Oh, oh Well, that That was my card, yeah.
What Major, you have your whole hand exposed.
Oh.
Uh.
I'm sorry.
Gotcha! Oh, I think you're mad.
What are you doing? Uh, Mrs.
Bellows, I wonder if I could talk to you, please.
Yes, what? May I borrow your perfume? Whatever for? I forgot it's Helen's birthday, and, uh, she loves perfume.
Major, it's been opened.
Yes, I I know, but it's It's the sentiment that counts.
She's very sentimental.
Well, if you think she'd like an unwrapped, open bottle of someone else's perfume, go right ahead.
That's very kind of you.
Would you like the box? Oh, major.
I don't know what's the matter with you tonight.
Now, look It's It's 9:00, sir.
So? Well, I've been working for three and a half weeks on the Sagittarius project.
I had no idea.
I'm sorry, I just can't keep my eyes open.
I guess in that case, we can't expect Helen.
Thank you so much, sir.
You must come again.
Thanks for the bridge game.
We'll do it again.
Good night.
Thank you, good night.
You know, really, Amanda, sometimes I feel that every Your towel.
Alfred.
Yes, Amanda.
Darling, do you really think you're helping the major? Hmm.
Jeannie, I got her.
Jeannie! Yes, master.
Oh.
I got her.
Oh, how wonderful.
Safely locked away.
When are we going to let her out? We're not gonna let her out.
You're gonna put her someplace where we won't have to worry about her again.
Oh, but master Wait a minute.
I went through a lot of trouble to catch that young girl.
You get rid of her.
Put her someplace where we won't have to see her for 2000 years.
Oh, well, I cannot do that, master.
But I have a better idea.
What? There, we will mail her back to her master in Baghdad.
[LAUGHING.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh, you look beautiful, master.
Oh, thank you.
I suppose you will be going to the Surf for dinner.
Mm-hm.
And then perhaps dancing and a-a drive along the beach.
That's right.
It is a beautiful night for it.
Yeah, yeah.
Full moon.
Have a wonderful time.
I will.
A-and do not worry about getting home early.
I won't.
I will be fine.
Good.
Good night, Jeannie.
Good night.
Well, why should he not go out with Helen? The computer said she would be perfect for him.
Oh, what does the old computer know? [KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Who is it? Me.
Master.
Well, aren't you dressed yet? They're not gonna hold a table.
It's a very busy restaurant.
But I thought You know I hate to have a date keep me waiting.
Now will you hurry up? Oh, master.
Oh, I am so happy.
Jeannie.
The next time you wanna know who's right for me don't ask a machine.
Ask me.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Who is it? Me.
Oh, it's Roge.
Hi.
Hi, Roge.
Hi.
You sure have a sweet-smelling mailbox.
Look what just I found, a bottle of perfume.
No, don't open Whoa! [SCREAMING.]
[.]