I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s04e17 Episode Script
Jeannie, the Governor's Wife
[.]
[MOTOR WHIRRING.]
Good morning, master.
Oh.
Jeannie, what are you doing? Oh, I knew you would be surprised.
I have decided to give your office a good spring cleaning.
Well, that's very kind of you, but it's not spring.
Oh.
Look out.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
What are you doing here? Nothing.
Oh.
I am out of season.
I can't make lunch, I have to go downtown and register.
Oh, that's okay.
I have to finish these reports, anyway.
Mm.
Register for what? Oh, it's the state election.
We're electing a new governor.
Oh, what happened to the old one? Well, I don't know how they did it in old Baghdad.
But here they elect a governor every four years.
Oh, what a lovely idea.
That way everyone gets a chance to be governor.
Who are you gonna vote for, Roge? I don't know.
I'm not too choked up about either.
I don't trust Abercrombie and Zeigler has no experience.
Do you know who I would vote for? Who? Him.
[CHUCKLES.]
Me? Thank you very much, but I'm not running.
Oh, you'd make a marvelous governor.
I can see it all now.
Oh.
What have you done now? Look at that honest face.
Everyone will vote for him.
Nobody's gonna vote for me because I'm not running.
You've got a weak chin.
Thanks, Roge.
And shifty eyes.
I've never noticed the shifty eyes before.
Don't you have to go and register? All right.
Shifty.
All right.
Goodbye, Shifty Eyes.
BELLOWS: Oh, Major Nelson.
[GASPS.]
Major, about the report.
I'd like you to Governor? [.]
[.]
[.]
Would you mind explaining this, Major Nelson? Explaining what, sir? That campaign poster on the wall.
Oh, that? Yes, it's just a joke.
Well, I'm not amused.
I don't blame you, sir.
He shouldn't be messing around in politics.
Roger.
For once you and I are in agreement, Major Healey.
Either you're an astronaut or a governor.
You can't be both.
I'm not planning on being both.
As I said, sir, it's just a prank.
Well, get it down.
If General Peterson ever saw it, you'd be in real trouble.
Yes, sir, of course.
There we are, sir.
I suggest you burn it.
Oh, now you've made me late.
I'm on my way to San Francisco in exact Major Nelson.
Oh.
Sorry, sir.
There must have been two of them.
[.]
Three of? There may be one of you in there, sir.
Yes, uh, sorry.
All of them.
Well, you know Jeannie.
She gets overly enthusiastic about these things.
[.]
[SIGHS.]
Jeannie, would you come out here a minute, please? I have been waiting for you to come home, Governor Nelson.
Do you like this? Oh, yes.
Hey, that's beautiful.
How about this? Yeah, it's great.
[GASPS.]
What are you doing? I'm withdrawing from the campaign.
You do not wish to be governor? I think I'm finally getting through to you, Jeannie.
Would you please get rid of all these decorations and posters and things, please.
Oh, no, master.
I could never do that to your darling face.
Please, please, right now.
Just get rid of them.
Now.
Why? You tell her, Roge.
Jeannie, you don't understand politics.
Tony couldn't be elected governor in a million years.
That's right.
I do not know about that, but I do know that he could be elected in three months.
You mean if he ran, he could be elected? Of course, Major Healey.
I will show you.
Would you like to see your campaign, master? No.
No thanks, Jeannie.
I-I would.
Show me how this thing works.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
ROGER: Hey, Tony.
Hey, come on and look at this.
No, thanks, Roge.
But, master.
Jeannie, I'm not interested.
Hey, look at the crowd.
Man, are they cheering you.
Cheering? Do you know what you've got? You've got charisma.
He has? Charisma? And so may I present the next governor of our state, Tony Nelson.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
[BAND PLAYING MARCHING MUSIC.]
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank Thank you very much.
Boy, has he got charisma.
Boy, have you got charisma.
Please come and look, master.
All right, Jeannie, but it's not gonna change my mind.
Look at this.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[GRUNTS.]
No, it's all right.
She's not too heavy.
Thank you, there you are.
Mwah.
You shouldn't have done that.
Oh? She has the chicken pox.
Chicken pox? I am sorry, master.
Hey, let me look.
Hey, whose campaign is this, anyway? We've had a lot of empty promises.
Now, if I'm elected your governor, I will see to it that those promises are fulfilled.
Yeah? Well, what about the freeway we're supposed to have? MAN: Look at that old road.
What are you gonna do about that? Well, I can't build a freeway overnight, but perhaps in five or six years.
[.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Maybe even sooner.
Jeannie.
Do you like it? Yes No.
But, I wish you would make up your mind.
[LAUGHS.]
You people will have your freeways.
The state belongs to the people.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Now, that's a lot of charisma.
Hey, they loved me.
Oh, I told you, master.
You could be the next governor.
Oh, Jeannie, I'm no politician.
He can't turn his whole life upside down just because hundreds of thousands of people adore him.
Yeah.
[.]
There we are.
Thank you, my dear.
This is a great day for the state, governor.
I never really thought you'd get this bill through.
I promised you I would, senator.
Remember my campaign slogan: "I have promises to keep.
" Does that not grab you? A billion-dollar highway development program.
Who's going to administer all this money? My state treasurer will be in charge of all programs on the highway development.
Mr.
Roger Healey.
Oh.
That's mine.
You mean, I'm going to administer all that money? Let me see that again, please? Oh, certainly, Major Healey.
Who's going to administer all this money? My state treasurer will be in charge of all programs on the highway development.
Mr.
Roger Healey.
You mean, all that money's going to pass through my hands? Let's see it again.
Let's see the money part again.
Very well.
Oh Me with the handful.
Who's going to administer all this money? My state treasurer will be in charge of all programs on the highway development.
Mr.
Roger Healey.
Tony, I was just thinking.
Since I'm going to be state treasurer Wait a minute, what are you talking about? I'm in charge of freeway constructions.
No, no, you're not gonna be state treasurer.
You certainly aren't gonna build any freeways.
No freeways.
Good thinking.
Tollways.
We charge $25 a car.
Huh? Huh? Ten dollars a car? What are you talking? We can get nine thousand million cars at 25 Twenty-five cents, the lowest I'll go for a car.
I have to call my stock broker.
Pull yourself together.
I've got to invest.
You don't have the job.
I don't have the j I don't have the job? That's right.
You appointed somebody else.
Of course I didn't appoint anybody else.
Then, why would you take the job away from me? Because there is no job.
I'm not the governor.
If I'm not governor, you can't be the state treasurer.
Of course you're the governor.
It says so in the machine.
But If I run, but I'm not running.
You're not running? That's right.
You're not running.
Selfish.
You're selfish.
All you think about is you.
You said an astronaut shouldn't get mixed up in politics.
Yeah, well, that was before I became state treasurer.
Don't pursue this any further.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hold it.
Governor's mansion.
Oh, stop it.
That's the doorbell.
Oh, yeah, that's the doorbell.
Yes? Major Nelson? Uh-huh.
I have some mail for you.
Oh, thanks.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey! Hey, w Look.
You must have the wrong address.
You must have the wrong Major Nelson.
No, this is the right address.
Governor.
You got my vote.
Oh! Oh! Would you stop? I thought I told you to get rid of all those posters.
Look, you left me with one of these stickers.
Oh, hey.
Money.
Oh, do you know what this is? What? Contributions.
Money.
Money.
Contribution for what? For your campaign.
We're rich, rich.
Rich? We got to return this, Roge.
Your campaign.
We're gonna be rich.
Give me that thing.
Roger, we have to send it back.
Wait a minute.
I'm the state treasurer.
Yeah.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Take these behind the door.
Get behind the door.
I'm gonna tell this mailman to send this stuff back.
Oh, hello, Dr.
Bellows, how are you? I thought you were in San Francisco.
I postponed my trip.
I was worried about you.
Oh.
Oh, Major Healey.
Oh! What is all this? Are you all right, sir? Okay? Oh, these are letters from the family.
They love to write.
Yes, they love to write.
I was just leaving, sir.
We can go together.
What on Earth is that? That's a machine I run technical films on, sir.
Well, I'd like to see it.
I really don't think you'd be interested.
Of course I would.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
After all, I am part of the team.
TONY: Uh Major Nelson.
Well, I can explain that, sir.
There's a very good explanation.
Well, you'd better, major.
Shocking.
Absolutely shocking.
Shocking? [EXOTIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[GIGGLES.]
Yeah.
That's shocking, yes.
[.]
[.]
Good morning, Jeannie.
Good morning, master.
You, uh You are not angry with me? Angry with you? Why should I be angry with you? Oh, of course not.
Would you like a cup of coffee? Oh, thank you, master.
Well, I was afraid that perhaps you were angry because you did not wish to run for governor and I insisted Oh, that.
I've been thinking about it.
You are absolutely right.
I am? I'd make a great governor.
You mean you're going to run? It wouldn't be fair to the people if I didn't.
Oh, master! Oh, I am so happy.
Okay, just sit down and have your coffee.
Now, I'm gonna need your help.
Oh, certainly master.
Anything.
What is it I can do for you? Well, I want you to go out and get me some votes.
That is easy.
I will go downtown where there are large crowds and tell everyone how wonderful you are.
No, no, I can get all the votes I need here.
What I want you to do is to go to Baghdad and tell all the people about me there.
Baghdad? Just till election day.
Well, I do not see what good I would do you in Baghdad.
They cannot vote for you.
Oh, no, you're wrong.
There are thousands of people from Florida who live in Baghdad and they can vote for me on their absentee ballot.
But they can't vote for me unless they know I'm running, can they? I see.
Oh.
You are brilliant to think of that, master.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, I was kind of pleased with myself.
You better hit the old campaign trail.
Oh, yes, master.
And I will see that the thousands and thousands of people who are in Baghdad from Florida will vote for you.
No man could ask for more.
Uh, have a nice trip, and say hello to your mother for me, will you? I had better not.
I think you're right.
She's not eligible to vote, anyway.
Goodbye, darling master.
Goodbye, darling Jeannie.
I will miss you.
And I'll miss you.
[SQUEALS.]
Goodbye, Jeannie I will see you On election day Jeannie.
[.]
Major Nelson.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows, General Peterson.
Uh, major.
Major, will you stop that whirling? Oh, I can't, sir.
It's on automatic timer.
I hate to do this, Tony, but I'm gonna have to ask you to resign from the service.
Resign from the service? Well, sir, I'm scheduled to go up on the moon shot in three months.
You can't go to the moon and campaign for governor at the same time.
I'm not interested in being governor.
You're not? No, sir.
I'm an astronaut.
How do you explain that brass band we just passed in the corridor? You promised me you weren't going to do that anymore, major.
I didn't do it, sir.
Are you telling us all this has been done without your knowledge? Absolutely, sir.
Absolutely.
You don't have to worry.
My campaign manager is out of town and won't be back.
All right, I'll give you one more chance.
But any more campaigning for governor and you're gonna get your wings clipped.
Do you read me? Yes, don't worry.
I have everything under control.
It better be, major.
[.]
ROGER: No, The Bowl is not big enough.
We want the largest stadium in Florida.
This is going be the biggest political rally ever.
Right.
Get back to me as soon as you can.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Oh, hi, Donald.
How's it doing? Look, I want you to set a press conference for 3:00.
I want all the New York papers there.
And get me all the networks.
I want a lot of TV coverage.
And there's gonna be a big shindig at my house.
I want you there at 7:00, prompt.
Right? Who's gonna be there? [PHONE RINGING.]
Just the two of us.
Anyway, bye.
Bye-bye.
Governor Nelson's headquarters.
Who said Tony Nelson's not running? Tony Nelson said he was not running.
Well, what does he know? Oh, look, the governor just walked in.
I'll get back to you later.
You better call him back.
Why? I'm giving you five minutes to get rid of everything.
Yeah, but governor, we've got all these posters, we got Look at these.
Put this stuff away, will you? Wait a minute, what are you doing? Look at this.
You know what? Wait, you know what this is? Contributions, right? Contributions.
You gotta send this stuff back.
There is no campaign.
"Send it back.
No campaign.
" Look at all this money.
Oh, boy.
Where's Jeannie? She won't let you do this.
You can forget about Jeannie.
I got rid of her until election day.
Now, get rid of all this stuff.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hi.
Hello, master.
I thought you were in Baghdad.
Oh, I was, I was, master.
I was in Baghdad.
And do you know what I found? No, what? The American ambassador, two senior citizens from California on a world cruise, and six oil men from Weatherford, Texas.
There was no one from Florida, master.
You probably didn't know where to look.
Why don't you try the, uh, marketplace? People from Florida usually hang around the marketplace.
Master, my mother did not raise a stupid genie.
You tricked me! Attagirl.
Will you keep out of this? You gotta leave me alone, Jeannie, or they'll throw me out of the space agency.
And then you would be free to be governor? Oh, Jeannie.
Oh.
But I don't want [BAND PLAYING MARCHING MUSIC.]
Whoo! Tony Nelson for governor! [HONKING.]
What are you doing? [CROWD YELLING.]
[YELLS.]
[BAND PLAYING TRIUMPHANT MARCH.]
Sounds like a circus.
[INDISTINCT YELLING, HONKING.]
Uh, look, I'm the state treasurer.
I thought maybe we could get together tonight and discuss the affairs of the state? Jeannie, would you please.
Jeannie.
They're gonna hear us! Shh! Oh, I have not even started yet, master.
Hey! Whoa! Whoa! [ALL LAUGHING, YELLING.]
Ladies and gentlemen, Will you, please? Will you be a little quiet, please? Hey, hey, hey, folks, uh, the party's over.
The party's over.
Will you? [SIGHS.]
TONY: The party's over! TONY: Please.
Shh! [LAUGHING.]
The party's over.
Shh! Shh! Please.
Shh! [LAUGHS.]
Will you be quiet, please? Hey, hey, hey, folks, uh, the party's over.
The party's over.
Will you? Careful.
[LAUGHING.]
The party's over.
Shh! I don't believe it.
But I saw it with my own eyes, general.
There must be 200 people in that office.
It sounds like a circus.
Bands playing, banners waving.
Let's go.
[.]
Nice.
Would you like to see my new office? Okay.
Jeannie, would you, uh, mind, uh: Oh, certainly, Major Healey.
Hey, how about that, huh? Take a look.
You look right in there.
Right there.
And I'll turn it around.
Can you see all right? Hey, Tony.
Congratulations.
You're getting married.
Huh? Yeah.
Oh! Oh, we are getting married, my darling master.
Let me see.
Oh, no, you don't wanna see that.
Of course I do.
No, no, it's a very dull wedding.
You won't like it.
Major Healey.
[.]
[SCREAMS.]
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SCREAMS.]
How could you do that to me? Do what? After I've given you the best years of my life.
The best years of your life were 2000 years ago.
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING.]
I don't even know this girl.
Then why are you marrying her? I'm not marrying I'm only going to marry her if I become governor.
[WHIMPERS.]
Hey, she's kind of cute, isn't she? I think we're gonna get along fine.
Wait till you see that mob, sir.
You won't believe it.
Shh.
[FAINT YELLING.]
Hey, maybe you could come and visit us, huh? I'll bet she's a great cook too.
Ooh! Oh, don't listen to him, Jeannie.
Don't you see? He's trying to get you to stop the campaign.
Bluebeard! BELLOWS: You'll see, sir.
All right, everybody out He's done it again.
TONY: Oh, anything the matter, sir? Where's the crowd and the band? What crowd and band is that, sir? He probably means the girl with the baton and the truck with the loudspeaker.
You told me there was a mob in here, and a band.
I saw them with my own eyes, sir.
You heard the noise.
The noise was probably coming from the machine, sir.
I know that machine.
It has a belly dancer in it.
What? A belly dancer.
I don't believe it.
See for yourself.
As a matter of fact, I think it's broken, sir We'll see.
Just a moment, sir.
Excuse me, may I just take a look first? [MAGIC BOINGS.]
[EXOTIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
There she is.
It's shocking.
Simply shocking.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
[.]
You see what I mean? She was wearing almost nothing.
I'm sorry to have bothered you, Tony.
Doctor, we're gonna find a couch for you and have a nice long talk.
But, the belly dancer.
How long have you been seeing naked women? [LAUGHING.]
Thank you, Jeannie.
Thank you very much.
Well, now that that's over, let's get back to the campaign.
Oh, no, Major Healey.
I am not going to let Major Nelson become governor.
Can you forgive me? I don't know, Jeannie.
I'd kind of had my heart set on becoming governor.
Oh, dear.
What can I do to make it up to you? [CHUCKLES.]
I'll think of something.
Well, you know what they say about politics.
[.]
[.]
[MOTOR WHIRRING.]
Good morning, master.
Oh.
Jeannie, what are you doing? Oh, I knew you would be surprised.
I have decided to give your office a good spring cleaning.
Well, that's very kind of you, but it's not spring.
Oh.
Look out.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
What are you doing here? Nothing.
Oh.
I am out of season.
I can't make lunch, I have to go downtown and register.
Oh, that's okay.
I have to finish these reports, anyway.
Mm.
Register for what? Oh, it's the state election.
We're electing a new governor.
Oh, what happened to the old one? Well, I don't know how they did it in old Baghdad.
But here they elect a governor every four years.
Oh, what a lovely idea.
That way everyone gets a chance to be governor.
Who are you gonna vote for, Roge? I don't know.
I'm not too choked up about either.
I don't trust Abercrombie and Zeigler has no experience.
Do you know who I would vote for? Who? Him.
[CHUCKLES.]
Me? Thank you very much, but I'm not running.
Oh, you'd make a marvelous governor.
I can see it all now.
Oh.
What have you done now? Look at that honest face.
Everyone will vote for him.
Nobody's gonna vote for me because I'm not running.
You've got a weak chin.
Thanks, Roge.
And shifty eyes.
I've never noticed the shifty eyes before.
Don't you have to go and register? All right.
Shifty.
All right.
Goodbye, Shifty Eyes.
BELLOWS: Oh, Major Nelson.
[GASPS.]
Major, about the report.
I'd like you to Governor? [.]
[.]
[.]
Would you mind explaining this, Major Nelson? Explaining what, sir? That campaign poster on the wall.
Oh, that? Yes, it's just a joke.
Well, I'm not amused.
I don't blame you, sir.
He shouldn't be messing around in politics.
Roger.
For once you and I are in agreement, Major Healey.
Either you're an astronaut or a governor.
You can't be both.
I'm not planning on being both.
As I said, sir, it's just a prank.
Well, get it down.
If General Peterson ever saw it, you'd be in real trouble.
Yes, sir, of course.
There we are, sir.
I suggest you burn it.
Oh, now you've made me late.
I'm on my way to San Francisco in exact Major Nelson.
Oh.
Sorry, sir.
There must have been two of them.
[.]
Three of? There may be one of you in there, sir.
Yes, uh, sorry.
All of them.
Well, you know Jeannie.
She gets overly enthusiastic about these things.
[.]
[SIGHS.]
Jeannie, would you come out here a minute, please? I have been waiting for you to come home, Governor Nelson.
Do you like this? Oh, yes.
Hey, that's beautiful.
How about this? Yeah, it's great.
[GASPS.]
What are you doing? I'm withdrawing from the campaign.
You do not wish to be governor? I think I'm finally getting through to you, Jeannie.
Would you please get rid of all these decorations and posters and things, please.
Oh, no, master.
I could never do that to your darling face.
Please, please, right now.
Just get rid of them.
Now.
Why? You tell her, Roge.
Jeannie, you don't understand politics.
Tony couldn't be elected governor in a million years.
That's right.
I do not know about that, but I do know that he could be elected in three months.
You mean if he ran, he could be elected? Of course, Major Healey.
I will show you.
Would you like to see your campaign, master? No.
No thanks, Jeannie.
I-I would.
Show me how this thing works.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
ROGER: Hey, Tony.
Hey, come on and look at this.
No, thanks, Roge.
But, master.
Jeannie, I'm not interested.
Hey, look at the crowd.
Man, are they cheering you.
Cheering? Do you know what you've got? You've got charisma.
He has? Charisma? And so may I present the next governor of our state, Tony Nelson.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
[BAND PLAYING MARCHING MUSIC.]
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank Thank you very much.
Boy, has he got charisma.
Boy, have you got charisma.
Please come and look, master.
All right, Jeannie, but it's not gonna change my mind.
Look at this.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[GRUNTS.]
No, it's all right.
She's not too heavy.
Thank you, there you are.
Mwah.
You shouldn't have done that.
Oh? She has the chicken pox.
Chicken pox? I am sorry, master.
Hey, let me look.
Hey, whose campaign is this, anyway? We've had a lot of empty promises.
Now, if I'm elected your governor, I will see to it that those promises are fulfilled.
Yeah? Well, what about the freeway we're supposed to have? MAN: Look at that old road.
What are you gonna do about that? Well, I can't build a freeway overnight, but perhaps in five or six years.
[.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Maybe even sooner.
Jeannie.
Do you like it? Yes No.
But, I wish you would make up your mind.
[LAUGHS.]
You people will have your freeways.
The state belongs to the people.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Now, that's a lot of charisma.
Hey, they loved me.
Oh, I told you, master.
You could be the next governor.
Oh, Jeannie, I'm no politician.
He can't turn his whole life upside down just because hundreds of thousands of people adore him.
Yeah.
[.]
There we are.
Thank you, my dear.
This is a great day for the state, governor.
I never really thought you'd get this bill through.
I promised you I would, senator.
Remember my campaign slogan: "I have promises to keep.
" Does that not grab you? A billion-dollar highway development program.
Who's going to administer all this money? My state treasurer will be in charge of all programs on the highway development.
Mr.
Roger Healey.
Oh.
That's mine.
You mean, I'm going to administer all that money? Let me see that again, please? Oh, certainly, Major Healey.
Who's going to administer all this money? My state treasurer will be in charge of all programs on the highway development.
Mr.
Roger Healey.
You mean, all that money's going to pass through my hands? Let's see it again.
Let's see the money part again.
Very well.
Oh Me with the handful.
Who's going to administer all this money? My state treasurer will be in charge of all programs on the highway development.
Mr.
Roger Healey.
Tony, I was just thinking.
Since I'm going to be state treasurer Wait a minute, what are you talking about? I'm in charge of freeway constructions.
No, no, you're not gonna be state treasurer.
You certainly aren't gonna build any freeways.
No freeways.
Good thinking.
Tollways.
We charge $25 a car.
Huh? Huh? Ten dollars a car? What are you talking? We can get nine thousand million cars at 25 Twenty-five cents, the lowest I'll go for a car.
I have to call my stock broker.
Pull yourself together.
I've got to invest.
You don't have the job.
I don't have the j I don't have the job? That's right.
You appointed somebody else.
Of course I didn't appoint anybody else.
Then, why would you take the job away from me? Because there is no job.
I'm not the governor.
If I'm not governor, you can't be the state treasurer.
Of course you're the governor.
It says so in the machine.
But If I run, but I'm not running.
You're not running? That's right.
You're not running.
Selfish.
You're selfish.
All you think about is you.
You said an astronaut shouldn't get mixed up in politics.
Yeah, well, that was before I became state treasurer.
Don't pursue this any further.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hold it.
Governor's mansion.
Oh, stop it.
That's the doorbell.
Oh, yeah, that's the doorbell.
Yes? Major Nelson? Uh-huh.
I have some mail for you.
Oh, thanks.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey! Hey, w Look.
You must have the wrong address.
You must have the wrong Major Nelson.
No, this is the right address.
Governor.
You got my vote.
Oh! Oh! Would you stop? I thought I told you to get rid of all those posters.
Look, you left me with one of these stickers.
Oh, hey.
Money.
Oh, do you know what this is? What? Contributions.
Money.
Money.
Contribution for what? For your campaign.
We're rich, rich.
Rich? We got to return this, Roge.
Your campaign.
We're gonna be rich.
Give me that thing.
Roger, we have to send it back.
Wait a minute.
I'm the state treasurer.
Yeah.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Take these behind the door.
Get behind the door.
I'm gonna tell this mailman to send this stuff back.
Oh, hello, Dr.
Bellows, how are you? I thought you were in San Francisco.
I postponed my trip.
I was worried about you.
Oh.
Oh, Major Healey.
Oh! What is all this? Are you all right, sir? Okay? Oh, these are letters from the family.
They love to write.
Yes, they love to write.
I was just leaving, sir.
We can go together.
What on Earth is that? That's a machine I run technical films on, sir.
Well, I'd like to see it.
I really don't think you'd be interested.
Of course I would.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
After all, I am part of the team.
TONY: Uh Major Nelson.
Well, I can explain that, sir.
There's a very good explanation.
Well, you'd better, major.
Shocking.
Absolutely shocking.
Shocking? [EXOTIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[GIGGLES.]
Yeah.
That's shocking, yes.
[.]
[.]
Good morning, Jeannie.
Good morning, master.
You, uh You are not angry with me? Angry with you? Why should I be angry with you? Oh, of course not.
Would you like a cup of coffee? Oh, thank you, master.
Well, I was afraid that perhaps you were angry because you did not wish to run for governor and I insisted Oh, that.
I've been thinking about it.
You are absolutely right.
I am? I'd make a great governor.
You mean you're going to run? It wouldn't be fair to the people if I didn't.
Oh, master! Oh, I am so happy.
Okay, just sit down and have your coffee.
Now, I'm gonna need your help.
Oh, certainly master.
Anything.
What is it I can do for you? Well, I want you to go out and get me some votes.
That is easy.
I will go downtown where there are large crowds and tell everyone how wonderful you are.
No, no, I can get all the votes I need here.
What I want you to do is to go to Baghdad and tell all the people about me there.
Baghdad? Just till election day.
Well, I do not see what good I would do you in Baghdad.
They cannot vote for you.
Oh, no, you're wrong.
There are thousands of people from Florida who live in Baghdad and they can vote for me on their absentee ballot.
But they can't vote for me unless they know I'm running, can they? I see.
Oh.
You are brilliant to think of that, master.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, I was kind of pleased with myself.
You better hit the old campaign trail.
Oh, yes, master.
And I will see that the thousands and thousands of people who are in Baghdad from Florida will vote for you.
No man could ask for more.
Uh, have a nice trip, and say hello to your mother for me, will you? I had better not.
I think you're right.
She's not eligible to vote, anyway.
Goodbye, darling master.
Goodbye, darling Jeannie.
I will miss you.
And I'll miss you.
[SQUEALS.]
Goodbye, Jeannie I will see you On election day Jeannie.
[.]
Major Nelson.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows, General Peterson.
Uh, major.
Major, will you stop that whirling? Oh, I can't, sir.
It's on automatic timer.
I hate to do this, Tony, but I'm gonna have to ask you to resign from the service.
Resign from the service? Well, sir, I'm scheduled to go up on the moon shot in three months.
You can't go to the moon and campaign for governor at the same time.
I'm not interested in being governor.
You're not? No, sir.
I'm an astronaut.
How do you explain that brass band we just passed in the corridor? You promised me you weren't going to do that anymore, major.
I didn't do it, sir.
Are you telling us all this has been done without your knowledge? Absolutely, sir.
Absolutely.
You don't have to worry.
My campaign manager is out of town and won't be back.
All right, I'll give you one more chance.
But any more campaigning for governor and you're gonna get your wings clipped.
Do you read me? Yes, don't worry.
I have everything under control.
It better be, major.
[.]
ROGER: No, The Bowl is not big enough.
We want the largest stadium in Florida.
This is going be the biggest political rally ever.
Right.
Get back to me as soon as you can.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Oh, hi, Donald.
How's it doing? Look, I want you to set a press conference for 3:00.
I want all the New York papers there.
And get me all the networks.
I want a lot of TV coverage.
And there's gonna be a big shindig at my house.
I want you there at 7:00, prompt.
Right? Who's gonna be there? [PHONE RINGING.]
Just the two of us.
Anyway, bye.
Bye-bye.
Governor Nelson's headquarters.
Who said Tony Nelson's not running? Tony Nelson said he was not running.
Well, what does he know? Oh, look, the governor just walked in.
I'll get back to you later.
You better call him back.
Why? I'm giving you five minutes to get rid of everything.
Yeah, but governor, we've got all these posters, we got Look at these.
Put this stuff away, will you? Wait a minute, what are you doing? Look at this.
You know what? Wait, you know what this is? Contributions, right? Contributions.
You gotta send this stuff back.
There is no campaign.
"Send it back.
No campaign.
" Look at all this money.
Oh, boy.
Where's Jeannie? She won't let you do this.
You can forget about Jeannie.
I got rid of her until election day.
Now, get rid of all this stuff.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hi.
Hello, master.
I thought you were in Baghdad.
Oh, I was, I was, master.
I was in Baghdad.
And do you know what I found? No, what? The American ambassador, two senior citizens from California on a world cruise, and six oil men from Weatherford, Texas.
There was no one from Florida, master.
You probably didn't know where to look.
Why don't you try the, uh, marketplace? People from Florida usually hang around the marketplace.
Master, my mother did not raise a stupid genie.
You tricked me! Attagirl.
Will you keep out of this? You gotta leave me alone, Jeannie, or they'll throw me out of the space agency.
And then you would be free to be governor? Oh, Jeannie.
Oh.
But I don't want [BAND PLAYING MARCHING MUSIC.]
Whoo! Tony Nelson for governor! [HONKING.]
What are you doing? [CROWD YELLING.]
[YELLS.]
[BAND PLAYING TRIUMPHANT MARCH.]
Sounds like a circus.
[INDISTINCT YELLING, HONKING.]
Uh, look, I'm the state treasurer.
I thought maybe we could get together tonight and discuss the affairs of the state? Jeannie, would you please.
Jeannie.
They're gonna hear us! Shh! Oh, I have not even started yet, master.
Hey! Whoa! Whoa! [ALL LAUGHING, YELLING.]
Ladies and gentlemen, Will you, please? Will you be a little quiet, please? Hey, hey, hey, folks, uh, the party's over.
The party's over.
Will you? [SIGHS.]
TONY: The party's over! TONY: Please.
Shh! [LAUGHING.]
The party's over.
Shh! Shh! Please.
Shh! [LAUGHS.]
Will you be quiet, please? Hey, hey, hey, folks, uh, the party's over.
The party's over.
Will you? Careful.
[LAUGHING.]
The party's over.
Shh! I don't believe it.
But I saw it with my own eyes, general.
There must be 200 people in that office.
It sounds like a circus.
Bands playing, banners waving.
Let's go.
[.]
Nice.
Would you like to see my new office? Okay.
Jeannie, would you, uh, mind, uh: Oh, certainly, Major Healey.
Hey, how about that, huh? Take a look.
You look right in there.
Right there.
And I'll turn it around.
Can you see all right? Hey, Tony.
Congratulations.
You're getting married.
Huh? Yeah.
Oh! Oh, we are getting married, my darling master.
Let me see.
Oh, no, you don't wanna see that.
Of course I do.
No, no, it's a very dull wedding.
You won't like it.
Major Healey.
[.]
[SCREAMS.]
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SCREAMS.]
How could you do that to me? Do what? After I've given you the best years of my life.
The best years of your life were 2000 years ago.
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING.]
I don't even know this girl.
Then why are you marrying her? I'm not marrying I'm only going to marry her if I become governor.
[WHIMPERS.]
Hey, she's kind of cute, isn't she? I think we're gonna get along fine.
Wait till you see that mob, sir.
You won't believe it.
Shh.
[FAINT YELLING.]
Hey, maybe you could come and visit us, huh? I'll bet she's a great cook too.
Ooh! Oh, don't listen to him, Jeannie.
Don't you see? He's trying to get you to stop the campaign.
Bluebeard! BELLOWS: You'll see, sir.
All right, everybody out He's done it again.
TONY: Oh, anything the matter, sir? Where's the crowd and the band? What crowd and band is that, sir? He probably means the girl with the baton and the truck with the loudspeaker.
You told me there was a mob in here, and a band.
I saw them with my own eyes, sir.
You heard the noise.
The noise was probably coming from the machine, sir.
I know that machine.
It has a belly dancer in it.
What? A belly dancer.
I don't believe it.
See for yourself.
As a matter of fact, I think it's broken, sir We'll see.
Just a moment, sir.
Excuse me, may I just take a look first? [MAGIC BOINGS.]
[EXOTIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
There she is.
It's shocking.
Simply shocking.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
[.]
You see what I mean? She was wearing almost nothing.
I'm sorry to have bothered you, Tony.
Doctor, we're gonna find a couch for you and have a nice long talk.
But, the belly dancer.
How long have you been seeing naked women? [LAUGHING.]
Thank you, Jeannie.
Thank you very much.
Well, now that that's over, let's get back to the campaign.
Oh, no, Major Healey.
I am not going to let Major Nelson become governor.
Can you forgive me? I don't know, Jeannie.
I'd kind of had my heart set on becoming governor.
Oh, dear.
What can I do to make it up to you? [CHUCKLES.]
I'll think of something.
Well, you know what they say about politics.
[.]
[.]