I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s04e18 Episode Script
Is There a Doctor in the House?
[.]
Do you know what I am going to do today, master? I am going to Paris, to the flea market to get you an antique chest for your bedroom.
And then I am going to Denmark, to get you a stool for the Master? Master? Huh? [LAUGHING.]
Master, you fell asleep.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry, Jeannie.
Ahem.
You must stop watching The Late Late Show.
Late Late Show? I fell asleep during the 6:00 news.
Perhaps you should go back to bed.
No, I can't.
Dr.
Bellows is briefing us on the moon flight today.
Oh, you must be excited.
Yeah, can't wait.
[.]
Master? Master? Oh, I'm sorry.
I will go get you some hot black coffee.
[SNEEZES.]
[SNEEZES.]
[.]
[.]
Tony, what in the blazes are you doing in your pajamas? Huh? Oh, dear.
He must have gone to NASA in his pajama bottoms.
Oh.
Well, I was sleepy this morning and I guess I forgot to put on my pants.
I just forgot.
Oh.
[CHUCKLING.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
What pajamas, sir? Tony, what's going on? Not 10 seconds ago, you wandered in here in your Wake up, Tony.
What's the matter with you? [SNORING.]
Attention! Uh, two eggs, over easy, with rye, please.
[SNORING.]
You say he came into your office in his pajamas? You heard what I said.
Then he started to go to sleep as I was talking to him, and now he's Tony, come back! Jeannie? Don't go to the flea market.
Oh, now he's sleepwalking out into the corridor.
[WHISTLES.]
Good morning, Dr.
Bellows.
I can't talk now.
Major Nelson is in some sort of What's the? What's the problem, sir? If you'll recall, sir, there have been times in the past when, uh, strange things have happened to Major Nelson.
And when I brought them to your I'm not talking about the past.
I'm talking about right now! This man is scheduled for a moon flight.
I don't want him sleepwalking in space.
I feel very fit.
Very fit indeed, sir.
Uh, sir, with your permission, I'll check him over again, just to make sure.
Uh, come along, major.
Nelson! Get your hat and briefcase.
Yes, of course.
I must have dropped them.
Oh, and, general, when you have time, perhaps you'd like to drop by my office.
There's nothing wrong with me! Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Tony, what's going on? We had our physical three days ago.
Something terrible has happened.
I don't know exactly what it is.
Hey, wait.
Whoa! Wait.
Don't talk with your mouth full.
Something weird is going on, Roge.
Oh, I'll say.
You've got a temperature of 86.
Yeah? Yeah.
That's 98.
Oh, good, you're better already.
Listen, I feel perfectly normal.
But I was in General Peterson's office, and he swears that I was fast asleep.
And I don't remember anything about it.
You don't remember.
No.
[WHISTLES.]
Boy, that's bad.
You could talk in your sleep.
You Tony? Tony, you all right? Tony, you all right? Tony.
Tony, you okay? Jeannie.
Don't say that.
Jeannie.
You've gotta snap out of it.
[WHISTLES.]
Boy, you really got it bad Thing is, he said I was talking in my sleep.
You were talking in your sleep, just now.
W-what do you mean, "just now"? I mean, just now.
Don't you remember? I went: [WHISTLES.]
And then you And then you did that.
Oh, uh, Major Nelson.
It's just as I suspected.
The lab reports everything quite normal.
Jeannie.
Major Nelson? Major Healey, what are you doing? Oh, well, I was just, uh, taking his temperature, sir.
[WHISTLING.]
Major Oh! Hello, Dr.
Bellows.
Where'd you come from? Well, I just walked in and found you sound asleep.
Oh, I was just resting my eyes.
Major, you were dead to the world.
Uh, no, sir.
No, sir, I was practicing my conscious relaxation.
Simulated sleep.
Roger and I have developed a technique whereby we can maintain high levels of energy when we're in space flight.
Was that what you were doing in Peterson's office? Yes, I suppose I was so successful that he really thought I was asleep.
Oh, well, I'll tell him that.
That's very interesting.
That'll be all, gentlemen, you're dismissed.
Oh, yes, sir.
Right, sir.
Uh, major.
Yes? My "babometer.
" I beg your pardon? My babometer.
Uh, for pressure.
Pressure.
Oh, sorry.
Here.
Thank you.
Uh, major! Now, would you kindly? Yes, I would.
Thank you very much.
You should have told Dr.
Bellows.
You can't go to the moon if you're gonna fall asleep every time somebody whistles.
I didn't tell Dr.
Bellows because whatever I've got, Jeannie must be in back of.
Don't you understand? Hey, hey, look at that.
[WHISTLES.]
Yeah, you're right.
Legs too skinny.
[MOANS.]
She wasn't that bad.
Huh? You all right? Come on, come on.
Master, I swear to you.
I had nothing to do with it.
You must have! I've never heard of any disease where people fall asleep because somebody whistles.
ROGER: Maybe it's a rare disease no one ever heard of.
Yeah, like the whistling sleepies.
Yeah, or the sleeping whistles.
Master, are you sure you have no other symptoms? Yeah.
I'm fine.
[YELLS.]
ROGER: Oh! What's the matter? My knee.
Maybe you pulled a muscle.
[GASPS.]
What's the matter? It's my left ear.
Maybe you pulled a muscle in your ear.
Oh, master.
Did you say your right knee and left ear? Yeah.
Come on, take it eas Oh, dear.
What is it? What is it? What's the matter? Oh, nothing.
Nothing.
What do you mean? Excuse me, I think I will go visit my mama.
Now, wait a minute, this is no time to visit your mother.
Jeannie.
Oh, great.
You're coming down with the whistling sleepies and she goes home to mother.
Wait.
Oh, what Whoa.
Take it easy.
I didn't whistle, Tony.
Huh? Didn't whistle.
Tony? This is a job for old Doc Healey.
Ahem.
[WHISTLING.]
[SNORING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Oh.
Ah.
Tony, I'm not just whistling "Dixie," Tony.
He must be getting worse.
He doesn't respond to treatment.
Come on.
Ho-ho.
[WHISTLES.]
Whistle, whistle.
What's your favorite song? [.]
[HUMMING.]
Hello, mama, darling.
Oh! Jeannie.
Oh, my own daughter.
Oh, and as busy as she is, she took time out to see her mama.
[STIFLES SOB.]
Come, come.
We have some coffee.
I had to see you, mama.
You see, my master is I hope you didn't put yourself to too much trouble.
You were here only five years ago.
Oh, it has not been five years, mama.
It has only been two months.
Hm.
Five years.
Two months.
To a mother it is all the same.
I know how difficult it is for you to get here.
You have to blink.
I wouldn't want you to be straining your eyelids.
Well, what brings you here? Good news, or bad? Mama, my master is very sick.
[LAUGHS.]
Good news.
I'll get the wine.
Mama, I do not want any wine.
I-I want you to help cure my master.
You see, he keeps falling asleep all the time.
And then he has this affliction of the right knee and the left ear.
And it sounds like Mm.
I know what it sounds like.
Too bad.
It looks like you will have to find a new master.
Now it just so happens that I know of this fabulously wealthy sultan.
Mama! I do not want a sultan.
I want you to help me cure the master I have.
We'll talk about it.
Right now, you go into the kitchen and get something to eat.
And while you are eating, I will show you a picture of the sultan.
Oh, he is so handsome, you wouldn't believe.
Mama, there is no time.
He is getting worse.
[SIGHS.]
She visits me once in five years and she has no time to talk.
Go.
Eat.
[SIGHS.]
That is what they learn in America these days.
Rebellion.
Mm.
[HUMMING.]
[LAUGHS.]
[CLICKING TONGUE.]
Sing.
Will you please say that again, doctor? I wanna be sure I heard you right.
Conscious relaxation, sir.
He was just simulating sleep.
Yeah, that's what I heard.
Dr.
Bellows, you're putting me in a ticklish position.
As commander of this base, I depend on you for medical and psychiatric advice.
What am I supposed to do if my chief psychiatric officer goes off his rocker? General, I know Major Nelson uh, inside out, and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with him.
Well, in that case, there's only one other possibility.
There's something wrong with me.
Well, general, I, uh Now, that's out of the question! I want you to put a constant surveillance on Tony for 24 hours.
If he can keep his eyes open for 16 of 'em, I'll turn myself in for a complete checkup.
Uh, yes, sir.
I'll have to go to his house.
What's he doing at his house? Uh, well, general, I, um I sent him there for a nap.
[WHISTLING.]
Ah, if I whistle anymore, I'm gonna sprain my mouth.
[TRYING TO WHISTLE.]
Oh, come on, Tony.
Tony.
[SNORING.]
This ought to work.
Tony, Dr.
Bellows is here, he's gonna see Jeannie! [SCREAMS.]
Boy, even the shock treatment doesn't help.
I guess I'm really gonna have to call Dr.
Bellows.
Come on.
Come on, little fella.
Up and at 'em.
Oh! Heavy, heavy.
Up Up against the wall.
Up against the wall.
Not me up against the wall.
You up against the wall.
Up, up Take it easy.
[PANTING.]
Good, good.
That's a nice boy.
Little, quiet snores, I'm on the phone.
Oh! Hold on.
Can you hold on? Up this way.
Up this way.
Up this way.
There we go.
Here we go.
Ho! Here we go.
Okay.
Hold on.
[SIGHS.]
Hello.
This Dr.
Bellows? Roger.
Fres Fresno, California.
Fresno, California.
All right.
Wrong number.
My fault.
Wrong number.
Roger, correct the attitude.
We're drifting off course.
I'm correcting.
I'm correcting.
I'm calling Dr.
Bellows.
Don't worry, old boy.
Everything's gonna be all right, I'm calling Dr.
Bellows.
Jeannie.
Jeannie! Don't say "Jeannie.
" Don't say Shh! Don't say, "Jeannie.
" Hello.
Oh, this is Dr.
Bellows? Oh, well, I was calling Fresno, California.
Jeannie! What are you blabbing Jeannie's name for while I'm talking to Dr.
Bellows? Jeannie.
Let's sit down.
Let's go get a chair.
Go get a chair.
We'll sit down.
Let's find a chair.
Oh, no.
You sit in the chair.
Sing, Ahmed.
Another two minutes and Major Nelson won't wake up for five years.
Deedle-deedle Dum-dum Deedle-deedle Dum-dum Deedle-deedle Dum-dum Oh, Mama, you did it.
You are making my master sick.
Don't thank me.
I would do anything for my daughter.
Mama, I am a full-grown genie.
I have a right to choose any master I wish.
Now, you make my master well again or Or I will never come to see you.
Threats, I am getting? From my own flesh and blood.
[CHIRPING.]
Ahmed, you stop singing, I command it.
Don't bother with Ahmed.
He only puts people to sleep.
Waking them up is a little more complicated.
Well, then tell me how.
Please, Mama.
I can't.
I have to do it.
In person.
Well Well, then come with me to our house.
Now.
Well.
What do you know? After all these years, I am finally getting an invitation.
Mama.
Now.
Please.
I don't go to my daughter's house for the first time without looking ipsy-pipsy perfect.
La-lee, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la A nice hot cup of coffee.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
No.
No coffee, huh.
Don't go away.
Sleepy, sleepy.
Coffee's out, huh? Okay.
Oh, God.
Major Healey.
Uh, where's Major Nelson? Oh, hello, Dr.
Bellows.
Is that Major Nelson? Oh, yes, sir.
Major Nelson said to say hello.
If you don't mind, I'd rather he said hello himself.
Well, sir, actually he has a very sore throat.
Major, would you stop that swiveling? [SNORING.]
Oh, we're testing out a new chair for space.
Major.
Stop it.
And that's an order.
Yes, sir.
Uh, well, you see, sir, we're trying to simulate sleep.
Watch this: One.
Two.
Three.
Sleep! Fantastic how wide awake he is, right? Oh, major, this man is totally unconscious! [.]
Done something wrong.
Open up your eyes.
Now, Mama, now.
The one in the chair.
Ah.
Children are always in a rush.
[WHISTLING.]
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
Oh, no.
Oh, no, Mama, not that one.
That one is Dr.
Bellows.
All right, so I made a mistake.
What's the matter? You never make a mistake? Sheesh.
[.]
Mama.
You were to have made my master well.
Instead you have made Dr.
Bellows sick.
That's the trouble with children nowadays.
Always critical.
Who's that? Oh! Oh, this is Major Healey.
My master's best friend.
Major Healey, this is my mama.
Hello.
Is she friendly? I am not sure yet.
Hm.
Another bum.
Now I am sure.
Mama, I want you to treat Major Healey exactly as you would treat my master.
Oh, no, I'd rather she treat me exactly opposite the way she treated Tony.
Mama, please.
Wake up my master and Dr.
Bellows.
No, I think you'd better wake up Tony first.
We don't want Dr.
Bellows to see your mother.
So, what's the matter? I'm not good enough to be seen by your friends? JEANNIE: It is not that, Mama.
It is just that he would not understand your being a genie.
Now, please, Mama.
For me.
Wake up my master first.
MAMA: Ugly as ever.
And this one.
What is it? [GASPS.]
Oh! A prince.
An emir.
A pasha.
Oh! A regular sultan! What is she talking about? I do not know.
Mama, this is Dr.
Bellows, my master's superior officer.
Oh! And a doctor too.
Oh, all these centuries I have waited for a man I could love.
Jeannie, what is she saying? Mama, what are you saying? You have just set eyes on him.
So what? Our family has always fallen in love quickly.
Look how quickly you fell for that lump over there.
She's got a point there.
Mama.
Mama, this is impossible.
Now Now, please.
I brought you here to cure my master.
All right, all right.
If I promise to cure him, will you stop nudging me? Anything.
Anything, Mama.
Just please cure him.
[.]
[WHISTLING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey, I'm late.
I've got to get to Dr.
Bellows' office about that pref light schedule.
What am I doing here? Huh? Oh, what is? What is she doing here? That's gratitude for you.
Oh, master.
You were sick and mama cured you.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Thank you, Mama.
Thank you very much for That's That's Dr.
Bellows on the couch.
Oh, but that is all right, master.
He is unconscious.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh.
JEANNIE: You see, mama made a mistake and gave him the same thing you had.
TONY: Oh.
That's not all she gave him.
What? What's going on here, hm? What's going on? Well, you see, master, I think we have a little problem.
Mama has fallen in love with Dr.
Bellows.
[LAUGHING.]
I don't understand it either.
No.
No, t-t-that I'm afraid that's impossible.
Dr.
Bellows is a very happily married man.
Only up for 10 seconds and already he's giving orders.
Would you like to go back to sleep again, darling? Say, for about 1000 years? Oh, um Do something.
Do Would you do something? MAMA: A sleepy little sultan Aye, aye, aye Everybody knows Don't know what to call him But he's Master, I think it would be better if you and Major Healey left, and then I could reason with her.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah.
Hey give the lump this.
In case the sleeping sickness comes back.
Oh, thank you, Mama.
Here, master.
Wear this around your neck.
Have a good day.
Yeah, okay.
Thanks, Mama.
Loved your song.
All right, well, uh Keep trying to reason with her, would ya? Okay, bye.
[MOANS.]
Tony? Oh, Tony.
Oh, get up for me.
You're asleep again.
Come one.
No, I'm just trying to think, Roger.
Don't scare me like that.
Oh, boy.
I knew it.
He's still asleep.
Now where's Dr.
Bellows? This man belongs in a hospital.
Oh.
Oh, no.
It's like we said, sir, uh, simulated sleep.
Yes, I'm just practicing my simulated sleep.
Dr.
Bellows must be right.
I am cracking up.
No, sir.
No.
Whatever gave you that idea, sir? When you came into my room this morning with all that sleepwalking and babbling, I could've sworn you were a sick man, but if you're all right, then I'm seeing things.
You're probably just tired, sir.
There's no use kidding myself.
I better go see Dr.
Bellows and get that checkup.
No, um You won't believe where Dr.
Bellows is.
Yeah! Why don't I bring Dr.
Bellows to you? You just lie down on the couch, sir, and I'll I'll bring him over here.
Oh, thanks, Roger, Tony.
I appreciate that.
Well, night-night, sir.
You just rest there and be comfortable.
[MOANS.]
How are we gonna bring Dr.
Bellows to the general when we can't get him out of the house? One thing at a time, huh? What thing? Amanda.
Amanda.
Where are you? Oh! Look at that.
Look at that.
He even sleepwalks like a prince.
Shh-shh.
[WHISPERS.]
Jeannie, come here.
Any luck? I am afraid not, master.
She refuses to give him up.
Oh, that's gonna be awfully tough to explain to Mrs.
Bellows.
To say nothing of General Peterson.
I'm gonna try my luck.
Oh, master.
There, there, little pasha.
Rest.
Rest.
We are going on a long journey in the winking of an eye.
Uh, um, Mama Uh, Mrs.
Jeannie.
What, you again? I just wanted to offer you my congratulations.
Maybe he's got some class after all.
TONY: I just wasn't aware that Dr.
Bellows had agreed to become your master.
What? Oh! Well, uh He did not exactly agree, master.
He hasn't? Do you mean to tell me your mother picked a master against his will? What, "against his will"? I'm giving him such a shower of riches you wouldn't believe.
Well, frankly, I'm shocked.
Yeah, me too.
Shocked.
To think that your own mother would kidnap a master, really.
MAMA: All right, all right.
So I'll ask him.
And I wouldn't tell him that your a genie.
Wouldn't be fair.
You want him to love you for your own self.
MAMA: Don't worry! Who needs magic to make chicken soup? Yes.
ROGER: Loved your dance.
Oh, um, Major Nelson, General Peterson asked me to Who are you? [GIGGLES.]
I am the woman who is going to make happy your declining years.
I beg your pardon, madam? I'm a happily married man.
You don't like me? Well, how would I know if I liked you or not? I've never seen you before.
What am I doing in these things? Blink him back to NASA.
Yes, master.
Wait! Wait! Oh, you haven't tasted my chicken soup.
Oh, miss, uh Ahem, Mrs.
Jeannie, uh, if you're looking for a master, maybe, uh Maybe we could work something out.
With you? You're a lump like the other one.
Forget the whole thing.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
Hey! Yeah.
Yeah, well, I didn't like her singing or her dancing.
Oh, you were brilliant, master.
Yeah, I was, wasn't I? Now all we have to do is get back to NASA and tell Dr.
Bellows Dr.
Bellows! General Peterson! Jeannie, when you blinked Dr.
Bellows back to NASA, did you prop him back in his uniform? Well, no, master.
You did not say [YELLS.]
Blink us back to NASA right away.
Now? Now! Now, now, now.
Now! Now! Don't try to make me feel better, doctor.
I'm completely buggy.
Why, I believe that you're standing there, wearing Wearing a sultan's robes.
But you don't understand, sir.
I'm the one who's cracking up.
I am wearing sultan's robes, and I haven't the faintest idea where they came from.
It's no use, doctor.
Now I think your robes are gone.
They have gone.
What's happening to me? Nothing is happening to you.
I'm the one that's going crazy.
With your permission, sir, I'm the one.
Don't you contradict me, I outrank you! Find me a psychiatrist! But I am a psychiatrist.
If you're a psychiatrist, I'm sunk.
Well, don't you understand that when I was in school, my professor once told me [.]
Do you know what I am going to do today, master? I am going to Paris, to the flea market to get you an antique chest for your bedroom.
And then I am going to Denmark, to get you a stool for the Master? Master? Huh? [LAUGHING.]
Master, you fell asleep.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry, Jeannie.
Ahem.
You must stop watching The Late Late Show.
Late Late Show? I fell asleep during the 6:00 news.
Perhaps you should go back to bed.
No, I can't.
Dr.
Bellows is briefing us on the moon flight today.
Oh, you must be excited.
Yeah, can't wait.
[.]
Master? Master? Oh, I'm sorry.
I will go get you some hot black coffee.
[SNEEZES.]
[SNEEZES.]
[.]
[.]
Tony, what in the blazes are you doing in your pajamas? Huh? Oh, dear.
He must have gone to NASA in his pajama bottoms.
Oh.
Well, I was sleepy this morning and I guess I forgot to put on my pants.
I just forgot.
Oh.
[CHUCKLING.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
What pajamas, sir? Tony, what's going on? Not 10 seconds ago, you wandered in here in your Wake up, Tony.
What's the matter with you? [SNORING.]
Attention! Uh, two eggs, over easy, with rye, please.
[SNORING.]
You say he came into your office in his pajamas? You heard what I said.
Then he started to go to sleep as I was talking to him, and now he's Tony, come back! Jeannie? Don't go to the flea market.
Oh, now he's sleepwalking out into the corridor.
[WHISTLES.]
Good morning, Dr.
Bellows.
I can't talk now.
Major Nelson is in some sort of What's the? What's the problem, sir? If you'll recall, sir, there have been times in the past when, uh, strange things have happened to Major Nelson.
And when I brought them to your I'm not talking about the past.
I'm talking about right now! This man is scheduled for a moon flight.
I don't want him sleepwalking in space.
I feel very fit.
Very fit indeed, sir.
Uh, sir, with your permission, I'll check him over again, just to make sure.
Uh, come along, major.
Nelson! Get your hat and briefcase.
Yes, of course.
I must have dropped them.
Oh, and, general, when you have time, perhaps you'd like to drop by my office.
There's nothing wrong with me! Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Tony, what's going on? We had our physical three days ago.
Something terrible has happened.
I don't know exactly what it is.
Hey, wait.
Whoa! Wait.
Don't talk with your mouth full.
Something weird is going on, Roge.
Oh, I'll say.
You've got a temperature of 86.
Yeah? Yeah.
That's 98.
Oh, good, you're better already.
Listen, I feel perfectly normal.
But I was in General Peterson's office, and he swears that I was fast asleep.
And I don't remember anything about it.
You don't remember.
No.
[WHISTLES.]
Boy, that's bad.
You could talk in your sleep.
You Tony? Tony, you all right? Tony, you all right? Tony.
Tony, you okay? Jeannie.
Don't say that.
Jeannie.
You've gotta snap out of it.
[WHISTLES.]
Boy, you really got it bad Thing is, he said I was talking in my sleep.
You were talking in your sleep, just now.
W-what do you mean, "just now"? I mean, just now.
Don't you remember? I went: [WHISTLES.]
And then you And then you did that.
Oh, uh, Major Nelson.
It's just as I suspected.
The lab reports everything quite normal.
Jeannie.
Major Nelson? Major Healey, what are you doing? Oh, well, I was just, uh, taking his temperature, sir.
[WHISTLING.]
Major Oh! Hello, Dr.
Bellows.
Where'd you come from? Well, I just walked in and found you sound asleep.
Oh, I was just resting my eyes.
Major, you were dead to the world.
Uh, no, sir.
No, sir, I was practicing my conscious relaxation.
Simulated sleep.
Roger and I have developed a technique whereby we can maintain high levels of energy when we're in space flight.
Was that what you were doing in Peterson's office? Yes, I suppose I was so successful that he really thought I was asleep.
Oh, well, I'll tell him that.
That's very interesting.
That'll be all, gentlemen, you're dismissed.
Oh, yes, sir.
Right, sir.
Uh, major.
Yes? My "babometer.
" I beg your pardon? My babometer.
Uh, for pressure.
Pressure.
Oh, sorry.
Here.
Thank you.
Uh, major! Now, would you kindly? Yes, I would.
Thank you very much.
You should have told Dr.
Bellows.
You can't go to the moon if you're gonna fall asleep every time somebody whistles.
I didn't tell Dr.
Bellows because whatever I've got, Jeannie must be in back of.
Don't you understand? Hey, hey, look at that.
[WHISTLES.]
Yeah, you're right.
Legs too skinny.
[MOANS.]
She wasn't that bad.
Huh? You all right? Come on, come on.
Master, I swear to you.
I had nothing to do with it.
You must have! I've never heard of any disease where people fall asleep because somebody whistles.
ROGER: Maybe it's a rare disease no one ever heard of.
Yeah, like the whistling sleepies.
Yeah, or the sleeping whistles.
Master, are you sure you have no other symptoms? Yeah.
I'm fine.
[YELLS.]
ROGER: Oh! What's the matter? My knee.
Maybe you pulled a muscle.
[GASPS.]
What's the matter? It's my left ear.
Maybe you pulled a muscle in your ear.
Oh, master.
Did you say your right knee and left ear? Yeah.
Come on, take it eas Oh, dear.
What is it? What is it? What's the matter? Oh, nothing.
Nothing.
What do you mean? Excuse me, I think I will go visit my mama.
Now, wait a minute, this is no time to visit your mother.
Jeannie.
Oh, great.
You're coming down with the whistling sleepies and she goes home to mother.
Wait.
Oh, what Whoa.
Take it easy.
I didn't whistle, Tony.
Huh? Didn't whistle.
Tony? This is a job for old Doc Healey.
Ahem.
[WHISTLING.]
[SNORING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Oh.
Ah.
Tony, I'm not just whistling "Dixie," Tony.
He must be getting worse.
He doesn't respond to treatment.
Come on.
Ho-ho.
[WHISTLES.]
Whistle, whistle.
What's your favorite song? [.]
[HUMMING.]
Hello, mama, darling.
Oh! Jeannie.
Oh, my own daughter.
Oh, and as busy as she is, she took time out to see her mama.
[STIFLES SOB.]
Come, come.
We have some coffee.
I had to see you, mama.
You see, my master is I hope you didn't put yourself to too much trouble.
You were here only five years ago.
Oh, it has not been five years, mama.
It has only been two months.
Hm.
Five years.
Two months.
To a mother it is all the same.
I know how difficult it is for you to get here.
You have to blink.
I wouldn't want you to be straining your eyelids.
Well, what brings you here? Good news, or bad? Mama, my master is very sick.
[LAUGHS.]
Good news.
I'll get the wine.
Mama, I do not want any wine.
I-I want you to help cure my master.
You see, he keeps falling asleep all the time.
And then he has this affliction of the right knee and the left ear.
And it sounds like Mm.
I know what it sounds like.
Too bad.
It looks like you will have to find a new master.
Now it just so happens that I know of this fabulously wealthy sultan.
Mama! I do not want a sultan.
I want you to help me cure the master I have.
We'll talk about it.
Right now, you go into the kitchen and get something to eat.
And while you are eating, I will show you a picture of the sultan.
Oh, he is so handsome, you wouldn't believe.
Mama, there is no time.
He is getting worse.
[SIGHS.]
She visits me once in five years and she has no time to talk.
Go.
Eat.
[SIGHS.]
That is what they learn in America these days.
Rebellion.
Mm.
[HUMMING.]
[LAUGHS.]
[CLICKING TONGUE.]
Sing.
Will you please say that again, doctor? I wanna be sure I heard you right.
Conscious relaxation, sir.
He was just simulating sleep.
Yeah, that's what I heard.
Dr.
Bellows, you're putting me in a ticklish position.
As commander of this base, I depend on you for medical and psychiatric advice.
What am I supposed to do if my chief psychiatric officer goes off his rocker? General, I know Major Nelson uh, inside out, and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with him.
Well, in that case, there's only one other possibility.
There's something wrong with me.
Well, general, I, uh Now, that's out of the question! I want you to put a constant surveillance on Tony for 24 hours.
If he can keep his eyes open for 16 of 'em, I'll turn myself in for a complete checkup.
Uh, yes, sir.
I'll have to go to his house.
What's he doing at his house? Uh, well, general, I, um I sent him there for a nap.
[WHISTLING.]
Ah, if I whistle anymore, I'm gonna sprain my mouth.
[TRYING TO WHISTLE.]
Oh, come on, Tony.
Tony.
[SNORING.]
This ought to work.
Tony, Dr.
Bellows is here, he's gonna see Jeannie! [SCREAMS.]
Boy, even the shock treatment doesn't help.
I guess I'm really gonna have to call Dr.
Bellows.
Come on.
Come on, little fella.
Up and at 'em.
Oh! Heavy, heavy.
Up Up against the wall.
Up against the wall.
Not me up against the wall.
You up against the wall.
Up, up Take it easy.
[PANTING.]
Good, good.
That's a nice boy.
Little, quiet snores, I'm on the phone.
Oh! Hold on.
Can you hold on? Up this way.
Up this way.
Up this way.
There we go.
Here we go.
Ho! Here we go.
Okay.
Hold on.
[SIGHS.]
Hello.
This Dr.
Bellows? Roger.
Fres Fresno, California.
Fresno, California.
All right.
Wrong number.
My fault.
Wrong number.
Roger, correct the attitude.
We're drifting off course.
I'm correcting.
I'm correcting.
I'm calling Dr.
Bellows.
Don't worry, old boy.
Everything's gonna be all right, I'm calling Dr.
Bellows.
Jeannie.
Jeannie! Don't say "Jeannie.
" Don't say Shh! Don't say, "Jeannie.
" Hello.
Oh, this is Dr.
Bellows? Oh, well, I was calling Fresno, California.
Jeannie! What are you blabbing Jeannie's name for while I'm talking to Dr.
Bellows? Jeannie.
Let's sit down.
Let's go get a chair.
Go get a chair.
We'll sit down.
Let's find a chair.
Oh, no.
You sit in the chair.
Sing, Ahmed.
Another two minutes and Major Nelson won't wake up for five years.
Deedle-deedle Dum-dum Deedle-deedle Dum-dum Deedle-deedle Dum-dum Oh, Mama, you did it.
You are making my master sick.
Don't thank me.
I would do anything for my daughter.
Mama, I am a full-grown genie.
I have a right to choose any master I wish.
Now, you make my master well again or Or I will never come to see you.
Threats, I am getting? From my own flesh and blood.
[CHIRPING.]
Ahmed, you stop singing, I command it.
Don't bother with Ahmed.
He only puts people to sleep.
Waking them up is a little more complicated.
Well, then tell me how.
Please, Mama.
I can't.
I have to do it.
In person.
Well Well, then come with me to our house.
Now.
Well.
What do you know? After all these years, I am finally getting an invitation.
Mama.
Now.
Please.
I don't go to my daughter's house for the first time without looking ipsy-pipsy perfect.
La-lee, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la A nice hot cup of coffee.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
No.
No coffee, huh.
Don't go away.
Sleepy, sleepy.
Coffee's out, huh? Okay.
Oh, God.
Major Healey.
Uh, where's Major Nelson? Oh, hello, Dr.
Bellows.
Is that Major Nelson? Oh, yes, sir.
Major Nelson said to say hello.
If you don't mind, I'd rather he said hello himself.
Well, sir, actually he has a very sore throat.
Major, would you stop that swiveling? [SNORING.]
Oh, we're testing out a new chair for space.
Major.
Stop it.
And that's an order.
Yes, sir.
Uh, well, you see, sir, we're trying to simulate sleep.
Watch this: One.
Two.
Three.
Sleep! Fantastic how wide awake he is, right? Oh, major, this man is totally unconscious! [.]
Done something wrong.
Open up your eyes.
Now, Mama, now.
The one in the chair.
Ah.
Children are always in a rush.
[WHISTLING.]
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
Oh, no.
Oh, no, Mama, not that one.
That one is Dr.
Bellows.
All right, so I made a mistake.
What's the matter? You never make a mistake? Sheesh.
[.]
Mama.
You were to have made my master well.
Instead you have made Dr.
Bellows sick.
That's the trouble with children nowadays.
Always critical.
Who's that? Oh! Oh, this is Major Healey.
My master's best friend.
Major Healey, this is my mama.
Hello.
Is she friendly? I am not sure yet.
Hm.
Another bum.
Now I am sure.
Mama, I want you to treat Major Healey exactly as you would treat my master.
Oh, no, I'd rather she treat me exactly opposite the way she treated Tony.
Mama, please.
Wake up my master and Dr.
Bellows.
No, I think you'd better wake up Tony first.
We don't want Dr.
Bellows to see your mother.
So, what's the matter? I'm not good enough to be seen by your friends? JEANNIE: It is not that, Mama.
It is just that he would not understand your being a genie.
Now, please, Mama.
For me.
Wake up my master first.
MAMA: Ugly as ever.
And this one.
What is it? [GASPS.]
Oh! A prince.
An emir.
A pasha.
Oh! A regular sultan! What is she talking about? I do not know.
Mama, this is Dr.
Bellows, my master's superior officer.
Oh! And a doctor too.
Oh, all these centuries I have waited for a man I could love.
Jeannie, what is she saying? Mama, what are you saying? You have just set eyes on him.
So what? Our family has always fallen in love quickly.
Look how quickly you fell for that lump over there.
She's got a point there.
Mama.
Mama, this is impossible.
Now Now, please.
I brought you here to cure my master.
All right, all right.
If I promise to cure him, will you stop nudging me? Anything.
Anything, Mama.
Just please cure him.
[.]
[WHISTLING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey, I'm late.
I've got to get to Dr.
Bellows' office about that pref light schedule.
What am I doing here? Huh? Oh, what is? What is she doing here? That's gratitude for you.
Oh, master.
You were sick and mama cured you.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Thank you, Mama.
Thank you very much for That's That's Dr.
Bellows on the couch.
Oh, but that is all right, master.
He is unconscious.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh.
JEANNIE: You see, mama made a mistake and gave him the same thing you had.
TONY: Oh.
That's not all she gave him.
What? What's going on here, hm? What's going on? Well, you see, master, I think we have a little problem.
Mama has fallen in love with Dr.
Bellows.
[LAUGHING.]
I don't understand it either.
No.
No, t-t-that I'm afraid that's impossible.
Dr.
Bellows is a very happily married man.
Only up for 10 seconds and already he's giving orders.
Would you like to go back to sleep again, darling? Say, for about 1000 years? Oh, um Do something.
Do Would you do something? MAMA: A sleepy little sultan Aye, aye, aye Everybody knows Don't know what to call him But he's Master, I think it would be better if you and Major Healey left, and then I could reason with her.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah.
Hey give the lump this.
In case the sleeping sickness comes back.
Oh, thank you, Mama.
Here, master.
Wear this around your neck.
Have a good day.
Yeah, okay.
Thanks, Mama.
Loved your song.
All right, well, uh Keep trying to reason with her, would ya? Okay, bye.
[MOANS.]
Tony? Oh, Tony.
Oh, get up for me.
You're asleep again.
Come one.
No, I'm just trying to think, Roger.
Don't scare me like that.
Oh, boy.
I knew it.
He's still asleep.
Now where's Dr.
Bellows? This man belongs in a hospital.
Oh.
Oh, no.
It's like we said, sir, uh, simulated sleep.
Yes, I'm just practicing my simulated sleep.
Dr.
Bellows must be right.
I am cracking up.
No, sir.
No.
Whatever gave you that idea, sir? When you came into my room this morning with all that sleepwalking and babbling, I could've sworn you were a sick man, but if you're all right, then I'm seeing things.
You're probably just tired, sir.
There's no use kidding myself.
I better go see Dr.
Bellows and get that checkup.
No, um You won't believe where Dr.
Bellows is.
Yeah! Why don't I bring Dr.
Bellows to you? You just lie down on the couch, sir, and I'll I'll bring him over here.
Oh, thanks, Roger, Tony.
I appreciate that.
Well, night-night, sir.
You just rest there and be comfortable.
[MOANS.]
How are we gonna bring Dr.
Bellows to the general when we can't get him out of the house? One thing at a time, huh? What thing? Amanda.
Amanda.
Where are you? Oh! Look at that.
Look at that.
He even sleepwalks like a prince.
Shh-shh.
[WHISPERS.]
Jeannie, come here.
Any luck? I am afraid not, master.
She refuses to give him up.
Oh, that's gonna be awfully tough to explain to Mrs.
Bellows.
To say nothing of General Peterson.
I'm gonna try my luck.
Oh, master.
There, there, little pasha.
Rest.
Rest.
We are going on a long journey in the winking of an eye.
Uh, um, Mama Uh, Mrs.
Jeannie.
What, you again? I just wanted to offer you my congratulations.
Maybe he's got some class after all.
TONY: I just wasn't aware that Dr.
Bellows had agreed to become your master.
What? Oh! Well, uh He did not exactly agree, master.
He hasn't? Do you mean to tell me your mother picked a master against his will? What, "against his will"? I'm giving him such a shower of riches you wouldn't believe.
Well, frankly, I'm shocked.
Yeah, me too.
Shocked.
To think that your own mother would kidnap a master, really.
MAMA: All right, all right.
So I'll ask him.
And I wouldn't tell him that your a genie.
Wouldn't be fair.
You want him to love you for your own self.
MAMA: Don't worry! Who needs magic to make chicken soup? Yes.
ROGER: Loved your dance.
Oh, um, Major Nelson, General Peterson asked me to Who are you? [GIGGLES.]
I am the woman who is going to make happy your declining years.
I beg your pardon, madam? I'm a happily married man.
You don't like me? Well, how would I know if I liked you or not? I've never seen you before.
What am I doing in these things? Blink him back to NASA.
Yes, master.
Wait! Wait! Oh, you haven't tasted my chicken soup.
Oh, miss, uh Ahem, Mrs.
Jeannie, uh, if you're looking for a master, maybe, uh Maybe we could work something out.
With you? You're a lump like the other one.
Forget the whole thing.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
Hey! Yeah.
Yeah, well, I didn't like her singing or her dancing.
Oh, you were brilliant, master.
Yeah, I was, wasn't I? Now all we have to do is get back to NASA and tell Dr.
Bellows Dr.
Bellows! General Peterson! Jeannie, when you blinked Dr.
Bellows back to NASA, did you prop him back in his uniform? Well, no, master.
You did not say [YELLS.]
Blink us back to NASA right away.
Now? Now! Now, now, now.
Now! Now! Don't try to make me feel better, doctor.
I'm completely buggy.
Why, I believe that you're standing there, wearing Wearing a sultan's robes.
But you don't understand, sir.
I'm the one who's cracking up.
I am wearing sultan's robes, and I haven't the faintest idea where they came from.
It's no use, doctor.
Now I think your robes are gone.
They have gone.
What's happening to me? Nothing is happening to you.
I'm the one that's going crazy.
With your permission, sir, I'm the one.
Don't you contradict me, I outrank you! Find me a psychiatrist! But I am a psychiatrist.
If you're a psychiatrist, I'm sunk.
Well, don't you understand that when I was in school, my professor once told me [.]