I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s04e24 Episode Script
Jeannie-Go-Round
[.]
Now, come on.
I'm asking you.
This is your old friend, Roger, remember? I'm not asking for much.
I still don't see why you need me.
Because I've been trying to date this girl for two months.
I mean, funny lines in the hall, flowers, candy and everything.
And she just won't go out with me.
Perhaps she does not trust you.
Yeah.
Sharp.
Funny.
Listen, I told her we would double date at the opening of the new Cocoa Beach Cabana.
And she said she would go.
Now, come on.
You can't let me down.
Oh, please, master, may we go? I have never been to the opening of a nightclub, and it would be such fun.
No, Jeannie.
You know I hate nightclubs.
They're noisy, and they're expensive and dark.
Huh.
I I could have sworn there was somebody back there.
It was probably a reflection.
Now, come on.
How about it? Why me? Why can't you double date with somebody else? Because she knows you.
She thinks you're respectable and responsible.
And when it's over, with Jeannie you can blink out and leave the two of us alone, hmm-hmm.
[THUMPING.]
I swear there's Master, what is wrong? There was somebody behind those drapes.
Oh, master, you are imagining things.
Oh, please, may we go with Major Healey? Yes.
Oh! Oh, you're gonna make a beautiful girl very happy.
But not until Saturday night.
Saturday night.
You won't forget this.
I won't forget this.
Oh, master, I am so excited.
I'm so excited.
Just think, we are going to a nightclub together.
A nightclub! Oh, my goodness.
I I must go immediately to Paris and select my gown.
Ooh! It certainly doesn't take much to make her happy.
[LAUGHS.]
Saturday night.
That gives me almost a week to plan.
Oh, darling Major Nelson.
Let me see.
So far, I've tried to get you by kidnapping you, putting you in a birdcage, roasting you alive and deep-freezing you.
All right.
This time no more Mr.
Nice Guy.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Yes.
Thank you very much, major.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
Come in.
Dr.
Bellows.
Yes, may I help you? I sincerely hope so, darling.
My, they didn't tell me you were so handsome.
Uh, I don't believe we've met, Miss uh Jones, darling.
Ah.
I have a proposition for you.
I'm a married man, Miss Jones.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, not that kind of proposition, silly.
How would you like to have Miss Bonnie Greer entertain for the boys here at NASA.
Bonnie Greer, the singer who's opening at the Cocoa Beach Cabana? Yes, darling.
I think I can arrange it.
I am her manager.
And I'm sure she'd be happy to entertain for the boys here if you can get enough of the brass to come to her opening tonight.
Oh, that would be very nice.
We'd love to have her.
Ah, good, good, good.
Here are two tickets.
Thank you.
Now, you come tonight and applaud real good and loud, and I'm sure everything will work out.
Oh, uh, by the way, Major Nelson and Major Healey are coming tonight too.
You could make a party of it.
Uh, thank you, Miss Jones.
Um, will we see you tonight? Oh, you certainly will, darling.
[.]
Phase one.
Now for phase two, which is letting nature take its course.
What do you need me for? Look, anyway, I've gotta pick up Betty at 9:00.
Roger, uh, you were the one who bludgeoned me into this in this first place.
At least you can stick around and give me some moral support when I have to tell Jeannie she can't go.
Jeannie, I'd, uh, like to have a word with you.
JEANNIE: One minute, master.
Come on, I gotta get out of here and change.
Relax, relax.
Jeannie will change you.
Yeah, you realize what she's gonna change us into when she finds out we're not taking her? JEANNIE: I am ready, master.
ROGER: Oh, wow.
Hey, look at that.
I'll tell you what, you take Betty, and I'll stay home with Jeannie.
Do you like it, master? Oh, it's It's just beautiful.
Well, it's a little late, folks, so good night.
I thought I would choose a green gown I have bad news.
but then I remembered, my master likes white Dr.
Bellows called.
And so I picked this gown.
I'm afraid you can't go.
It has a little gold What did you say, master? Well, uh, I'm afraid you can't go, Jeannie.
Dr.
Bellows called and And he's going to the nightclub tonight, and Well, I just I couldn't I have taken three days in Paris to pick out this gown.
Yeah, I know.
I have spent all afternoon upstairs getting ready.
All afternoon.
I know that And now you stand there and tell me I can't go? I Well, why don't you say something? What he's trying to say is that there's gonna be a lot of people there, and he doesn't want to be seen with you.
Yeah, that's right.
No! I don't Thanks, I needed that.
Thanks a lot.
I better go and get dressed.
Yeah, Jeannie, just try to listen to me, will you? I'm awfully sorry about this Three days.
Three days it took me to pick out this gown.
I know, and it's a beautiful And I did my hair.
Specially, I did my hair.
Yeah? With my own two hands.
And it looks it.
Oh! No, I didn't mean it that way.
Please try to Oh, master, please, do not say one more word.
I am so angry.
Okay, okay.
I am so angry I could Don't get angry.
I could No, now, don't.
I could Whatever it is, don't.
[SOBS.]
No! Oh! Please.
Look, tomorrow, I'll take you anyplace in the world you want to go.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[GROANS.]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Phase two.
Nature took its course nicely.
[DRUM ROLL.]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
Me? Please, please.
Please, please don't stop.
[LAUGHTER.]
Ladies and gentlemen, such a pleasure to be here in Florida.
My wife did all the driving in, uh, Florida, from California.
And I must tell you, going around these mountain curves and the highways, she was wonderful, because she drives this way normally.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
My wife gets a Will you laugh it up, please? Some new people are coming in.
Coming in by the hundreds, four at a time.
Cheer up, sir.
This is a nightclub.
Come on.
I laughed when you came in.
[LAUGHS.]
What did you do? Park your satellite outside? Okay, now, if you're gonna buy a new car, take my advice: Don't take the wife with you, because the salesmen are very sharp.
[HUMS.]
COMEDIAN: Is this the young lady who's old enough to drive? [AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
Who are you? Well, I'm you understudy, darling.
I don't have an understudy.
Oh, yes, you do.
And you're going to need one too.
[INAUDIBLE.]
[LAUGHS.]
You see? I told you.
You have laryngitis.
[MAGIC CHIME.]
Hm.
And a temporary loss of consciousness too.
[CLUCKS TONGUE.]
Now, don't be a sissy about it, darling.
You're going to be all right tomorrow.
I really am sorry about this, darling, but you see, I have to convince a certain major that a certain genie has flipped her lid.
Mi Mi, mi Mi [AUDIENCE LAUGHING.]
She wears a miniskirt with orthopedic shoes.
[ALL LAUGH.]
On her last birthday cake there were 48 candles on a slice I had.
[LAUGHTER.]
What was wrong with that joke? [ALL LAUGH.]
I know what you're thinking.
Why does he tell gags about his wife? All comedians tells jokes about their wives.
But in spite of these jokes, I would like you to know I've been married for 28 years.
And personally, I don't see any humor in it.
[ALL LAUGH.]
Oh, dear me.
See, that's not a bad record, is it? Considering we live out there in Hollywood, California.
Our neighbor's divorced and separated.
Many times I'll look at my wife and I'll say, "Where did we fail?" [LAUGHS.]
It's the kind of a neighborhood one kid says to another, "My daddy can lick your daddy.
" The other kid says, "Don't be an idiot.
Your daddy is my daddy.
" [BOTH LAUGH.]
Why, there's one kid on my block got an award for bringing the most parents to the PTA meeting.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an unfortunate announcement to make.
A few minutes ago the star of our show, Miss Bonnie Greer, was stricken with a severe case of laryngitis.
[ALL MOAN.]
Oh-ho-ho, that's too bad.
BOTH: Oh.
But in the best traditions of show business, our understudy has agreed to go on with the show.
So let's have a great big hand for our plucky little lady, Miss What did you say your name was? Miss Jeannie of Cocoa Beach.
[ALL APPLAUD.]
MAN: Oh, bravo! [BAND PLAYS WALK-ON MUSIC.]
Power on Like the lights Electric beams Electric haze Electric dreams Electric days Electric nights See the power Flower all around you Yellow zigzags Blooming in the air Bringing lightning To the darkness Of your absolute despair Let me see.
A six-letter word for "rat.
" M-A-S No, no, no.
Mustn't be angry with him.
I know.
I will be angry with him until he gets home, and then I will forgive him.
M-A-S-T-E-R.
Master.
Here the vibrations Feel the earth rock Watch the colors Fly about Exploding Into shock [MAGIC CHIME.]
Sweet cosmic music Like electric Drops of rain Sweet flowing rhythms Running freely Through your brain How it flowers All around you Energizing life In every way It's the power of life It's the power of love Power flowers today Electric beams Electric haze Electric dreams Electric days Electric nights Power off [ALL APPLAUD.]
[BAND PLAYS WALK-ON MUSIC.]
[MAN WHISTLES.]
[.]
Deliberately disobeyed me.
Went out of her way to embarrass me in front Master? What is the matter? Did you not have a good time? Huh? What? Did you not enjoy yourself? How can you ask me that? Well, it is It is very simple.
Did you not have fun? You better come up with a very good explanation, young lady.
Explanation? Yeah.
For what? What have I done? Gonna play that game with me? Go on.
Get in your bottle.
Oh-ho-ho, master, you have no reason to be angry with me.
I was angry with you.
But I have decided to forgive you.
Oh, you decided to forgive me, huh? Okay, that's the straw that Go ahead.
Get in your bottle.
Go on.
I'm not fooling around with you anymore.
But I Go on, I've had a tough day.
Go on.
Ooh! And stay there until you think of a good explanation.
Here.
[HUMS.]
[MAGIC CHIME.]
Jeannie! I told you to get back.
Jeannie! Jeannie, now, stop Huh? Jeannie, you stop playing games and get back in your bottle.
Come on.
Get back in here.
Ah, that's better.
Jeez, I'm probably so shook up I think I'm seeing things.
[LAUGHS.]
I just need a little rest.
Maybe I Maybe I've been working too hard.
A little session with Dr.
Bellows will straighten everything out.
A couple of months of therapy.
I think maybe we could resolve the whole problem.
[HUMS.]
Just been working too hard, that's all.
Thanks.
Jeannie! Hey, Jeannie! Come back here! Jeannie! You want the whole neighborhood to know you're having a fight with your genie? What's going on, here? You see Jeannie go out? No, I didn't see her go out the door.
But what's with the noise? What's all? Roger, I'm in trouble.
What's the matter? You're in trouble.
I just left Dr.
Bellows.
You're really in trouble.
Not that kind of trouble.
I mean I think I'm seeing things.
I really do.
I locked Jeannie in her bottle, and 10 seconds later she was walking through here.
In her bottle? Very funny.
Now, look.
Look.
The cork's gone.
The cork's gone.
Two hundred people are watching you.
You make a fool out of yourself, and you're worried about a cork.
Do you realize what went on back there? Do you know what you did? You walked on stage.
[MAGIC CHIME.]
You made a fool There she goes! Tony, I'm trying to tell you the bottle was uncorked.
Huh? Uncorked.
It's gone too far, Roger.
Jeannie's turned against me.
She can't turn against you.
You're her master.
She has to obey you.
Oh, yeah? Who says so? Well, maybe it's in the genie manual.
I don't know.
Well, then how come she deliberately disobeyed me when I told her not to go to that nightclub? Huh? How come? I don't know.
I told her to go to her bottle and she just wouldn't do it.
Well, maybe she wasn't issued a genie manual.
I think she's trying to drive me out of my mind, Roge.
You know something? I think she's succeeding.
I I corked her on her bottle and 10 seconds later she was just parading all over the house.
Give me that.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'll get you a nice, warm blanket.
Get yourself a nice, stiff glass of milk.
[HUMS.]
Hi, Jeannie.
Loved your act.
Good, good.
Hello, Major Healey.
As I was saying, you were terrific.
Whoa, wait.
Hey, now, wait a minute, you better get back in your bottle.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, wait a minute, now.
That's bad geniemanship.
You're in trouble now.
You are gonna get in trouble [MAGIC CHIME.]
Where's Jeannie? Huh? Jeannie.
Huh? You saw her too? Oh, you shouldn't disappoint Jeannie like that.
I mean, what's more important? I mean, you job? Huh? Or Jeannie? Huh? Did you hear that, Jeannie? I'm on your side.
Will you stop that and help me try to figure something out? Yeah, well, I'm gonna go home and figure it out, all right? You can't desert me now.
Come back here.
I'm not deserting you.
I'm leaving.
Roger, look, now that I understand what's bugging her, I can reason with her like a human being.
What's the matter with you, anyhow? Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony.
Huh? Let me Let me Don't.
Tony.
You're right.
Boo! Ah! [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Hi, Jeannie! TONY: Look, uh, I Ah! Jeannie, I am your master and I command you to [LAUGHS.]
Well, that's reasoning with her.
Jeannie? Jeannie? Jeannies to the left of us, Jeannies to the right of us.
Major Nelson.
Major, are you here? And Dr.
Bellows in the middle.
Major Nelson, I want a full explanation of your disgraceful conduct tonight.
Frankly, I was never so shocked in all my life.
Well, stick around, sir.
I think we can top it.
Alfred, now, don't be so pompous.
I'm sure the major has a perfectly good explanation if you'll just give him a chance.
Please, Amanda.
Well, Major Nelson? Uh, sir, it's late.
Couldn't we talk about this tomorrow? No, we cannot.
Oh, major, did you find out where you could get one of these exquisite bottles for me? Uh, no No, that's one of a kind.
Oh, well, why in the world do you keep a hankie stuck in the jar? [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
Because it's In the morning, major, you will have to explain your conduct to General Peterson.
And I assure you that he will not be as sympathetic towards your, uh, explanations as I am.
So I suggest you get started.
Oh, darling, stop badgering him.
Sir, you're gonna find this hard to believe.
All your explanations are hard to believe.
Oh, darling, give the boy a chance.
I'm sure he'll come up with something.
[LAUGHING.]
Have you seen this? Oh What? Excuse me.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows, if you could just watch me.
It's a very strange dance.
You go this way [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
That's it.
Ah! Alfred, Alfred, Alfred! Shh! No, not that way.
Spin around.
That's the new stance.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh! Major Huh? Oh, it's all right.
It's all right.
You look lovely that way.
You really do.
BELLOWS: Major Healey, what are you doing? ROGER: Uh Uh Uh Uh That's the latest dance.
Major, I ??? Alfred! Oh, what? Alfred! Alfred! What's going on, here? I don't know.
But I'm soon going to find out.
You are the one who is making my master act so strangely.
That's right, darling.
Everything's going according to plan.
And now that Major Nelson thinks you've turned against him, he's going to get rid of you forever.
And that's where I step in.
No! I will not permit it.
There's only one thing I hadn't counted on.
That stupid Major Healey letting the genie out of the bag.
[SQUEALS.]
Sister, you go home! Major Nelson is mine and I will never give him up.
Oh, well, I have news for you, darling.
He's ready to give you up.
[LAUGHS.]
See you later, alligator.
[SCREAMS.]
Well, sir, it all started years ago.
[CRASH.]
What? What is that? Years ago, when I first experienced my first earthquake.
Earthquake? Don't be ridiculous.
Oh! What? Uh, under the table.
It's safer.
[CRASH.]
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
I I I've always been terrified of earthquakes, sir.
I I felt the first tremor in the nightclub, and And that's when I hit the floor.
It's safer there.
Oh it's not safer here.
Major, I offer you my profound apologies.
If we ever live through this, I'm gonna make it up to you.
Uh Uh, you may live through it, sir, but I'm not so sure about me.
Oh, what's happening? Oh! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
You all right? Help me up.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, it's over, sir, I think.
Honey, let's go home, quick.
I I wanna see what happened to our house.
Oh, good night, major.
Uh, once more, my apologies.
I'll ever doubt your word again.
Yes.
It's over.
It's over.
Yeah, for them, maybe, but not for you.
Jeannie's still probably here.
Huh? Ah! It is all right, master.
It is all right.
It really is over.
My sister is gone.
Your sister? Yes, my sister.
She was the one who caused all the trouble.
She thought that if she could convince you that I had turned against you, that you would get rid of me.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
And then she could have you all to herself.
She was going to put you in a cage.
Yeah, well, it very nearly worked.
Oh, master, I am so sorry.
I promise you she will never bother you again.
I am sending her home to mama on ice.
Master? Well, what is the matter? I am your genie.
Can you not tell the difference? Can you tell? That reminds me.
I'm gonna make myself a drink on the rocks.
A large drink.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
Large rocks.
Large rocks.
Master? Uh But But [SIGHS.]
Master! [.]
Now, come on.
I'm asking you.
This is your old friend, Roger, remember? I'm not asking for much.
I still don't see why you need me.
Because I've been trying to date this girl for two months.
I mean, funny lines in the hall, flowers, candy and everything.
And she just won't go out with me.
Perhaps she does not trust you.
Yeah.
Sharp.
Funny.
Listen, I told her we would double date at the opening of the new Cocoa Beach Cabana.
And she said she would go.
Now, come on.
You can't let me down.
Oh, please, master, may we go? I have never been to the opening of a nightclub, and it would be such fun.
No, Jeannie.
You know I hate nightclubs.
They're noisy, and they're expensive and dark.
Huh.
I I could have sworn there was somebody back there.
It was probably a reflection.
Now, come on.
How about it? Why me? Why can't you double date with somebody else? Because she knows you.
She thinks you're respectable and responsible.
And when it's over, with Jeannie you can blink out and leave the two of us alone, hmm-hmm.
[THUMPING.]
I swear there's Master, what is wrong? There was somebody behind those drapes.
Oh, master, you are imagining things.
Oh, please, may we go with Major Healey? Yes.
Oh! Oh, you're gonna make a beautiful girl very happy.
But not until Saturday night.
Saturday night.
You won't forget this.
I won't forget this.
Oh, master, I am so excited.
I'm so excited.
Just think, we are going to a nightclub together.
A nightclub! Oh, my goodness.
I I must go immediately to Paris and select my gown.
Ooh! It certainly doesn't take much to make her happy.
[LAUGHS.]
Saturday night.
That gives me almost a week to plan.
Oh, darling Major Nelson.
Let me see.
So far, I've tried to get you by kidnapping you, putting you in a birdcage, roasting you alive and deep-freezing you.
All right.
This time no more Mr.
Nice Guy.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Yes.
Thank you very much, major.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
Come in.
Dr.
Bellows.
Yes, may I help you? I sincerely hope so, darling.
My, they didn't tell me you were so handsome.
Uh, I don't believe we've met, Miss uh Jones, darling.
Ah.
I have a proposition for you.
I'm a married man, Miss Jones.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, not that kind of proposition, silly.
How would you like to have Miss Bonnie Greer entertain for the boys here at NASA.
Bonnie Greer, the singer who's opening at the Cocoa Beach Cabana? Yes, darling.
I think I can arrange it.
I am her manager.
And I'm sure she'd be happy to entertain for the boys here if you can get enough of the brass to come to her opening tonight.
Oh, that would be very nice.
We'd love to have her.
Ah, good, good, good.
Here are two tickets.
Thank you.
Now, you come tonight and applaud real good and loud, and I'm sure everything will work out.
Oh, uh, by the way, Major Nelson and Major Healey are coming tonight too.
You could make a party of it.
Uh, thank you, Miss Jones.
Um, will we see you tonight? Oh, you certainly will, darling.
[.]
Phase one.
Now for phase two, which is letting nature take its course.
What do you need me for? Look, anyway, I've gotta pick up Betty at 9:00.
Roger, uh, you were the one who bludgeoned me into this in this first place.
At least you can stick around and give me some moral support when I have to tell Jeannie she can't go.
Jeannie, I'd, uh, like to have a word with you.
JEANNIE: One minute, master.
Come on, I gotta get out of here and change.
Relax, relax.
Jeannie will change you.
Yeah, you realize what she's gonna change us into when she finds out we're not taking her? JEANNIE: I am ready, master.
ROGER: Oh, wow.
Hey, look at that.
I'll tell you what, you take Betty, and I'll stay home with Jeannie.
Do you like it, master? Oh, it's It's just beautiful.
Well, it's a little late, folks, so good night.
I thought I would choose a green gown I have bad news.
but then I remembered, my master likes white Dr.
Bellows called.
And so I picked this gown.
I'm afraid you can't go.
It has a little gold What did you say, master? Well, uh, I'm afraid you can't go, Jeannie.
Dr.
Bellows called and And he's going to the nightclub tonight, and Well, I just I couldn't I have taken three days in Paris to pick out this gown.
Yeah, I know.
I have spent all afternoon upstairs getting ready.
All afternoon.
I know that And now you stand there and tell me I can't go? I Well, why don't you say something? What he's trying to say is that there's gonna be a lot of people there, and he doesn't want to be seen with you.
Yeah, that's right.
No! I don't Thanks, I needed that.
Thanks a lot.
I better go and get dressed.
Yeah, Jeannie, just try to listen to me, will you? I'm awfully sorry about this Three days.
Three days it took me to pick out this gown.
I know, and it's a beautiful And I did my hair.
Specially, I did my hair.
Yeah? With my own two hands.
And it looks it.
Oh! No, I didn't mean it that way.
Please try to Oh, master, please, do not say one more word.
I am so angry.
Okay, okay.
I am so angry I could Don't get angry.
I could No, now, don't.
I could Whatever it is, don't.
[SOBS.]
No! Oh! Please.
Look, tomorrow, I'll take you anyplace in the world you want to go.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[GROANS.]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Phase two.
Nature took its course nicely.
[DRUM ROLL.]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
Me? Please, please.
Please, please don't stop.
[LAUGHTER.]
Ladies and gentlemen, such a pleasure to be here in Florida.
My wife did all the driving in, uh, Florida, from California.
And I must tell you, going around these mountain curves and the highways, she was wonderful, because she drives this way normally.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
My wife gets a Will you laugh it up, please? Some new people are coming in.
Coming in by the hundreds, four at a time.
Cheer up, sir.
This is a nightclub.
Come on.
I laughed when you came in.
[LAUGHS.]
What did you do? Park your satellite outside? Okay, now, if you're gonna buy a new car, take my advice: Don't take the wife with you, because the salesmen are very sharp.
[HUMS.]
COMEDIAN: Is this the young lady who's old enough to drive? [AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
Who are you? Well, I'm you understudy, darling.
I don't have an understudy.
Oh, yes, you do.
And you're going to need one too.
[INAUDIBLE.]
[LAUGHS.]
You see? I told you.
You have laryngitis.
[MAGIC CHIME.]
Hm.
And a temporary loss of consciousness too.
[CLUCKS TONGUE.]
Now, don't be a sissy about it, darling.
You're going to be all right tomorrow.
I really am sorry about this, darling, but you see, I have to convince a certain major that a certain genie has flipped her lid.
Mi Mi, mi Mi [AUDIENCE LAUGHING.]
She wears a miniskirt with orthopedic shoes.
[ALL LAUGH.]
On her last birthday cake there were 48 candles on a slice I had.
[LAUGHTER.]
What was wrong with that joke? [ALL LAUGH.]
I know what you're thinking.
Why does he tell gags about his wife? All comedians tells jokes about their wives.
But in spite of these jokes, I would like you to know I've been married for 28 years.
And personally, I don't see any humor in it.
[ALL LAUGH.]
Oh, dear me.
See, that's not a bad record, is it? Considering we live out there in Hollywood, California.
Our neighbor's divorced and separated.
Many times I'll look at my wife and I'll say, "Where did we fail?" [LAUGHS.]
It's the kind of a neighborhood one kid says to another, "My daddy can lick your daddy.
" The other kid says, "Don't be an idiot.
Your daddy is my daddy.
" [BOTH LAUGH.]
Why, there's one kid on my block got an award for bringing the most parents to the PTA meeting.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an unfortunate announcement to make.
A few minutes ago the star of our show, Miss Bonnie Greer, was stricken with a severe case of laryngitis.
[ALL MOAN.]
Oh-ho-ho, that's too bad.
BOTH: Oh.
But in the best traditions of show business, our understudy has agreed to go on with the show.
So let's have a great big hand for our plucky little lady, Miss What did you say your name was? Miss Jeannie of Cocoa Beach.
[ALL APPLAUD.]
MAN: Oh, bravo! [BAND PLAYS WALK-ON MUSIC.]
Power on Like the lights Electric beams Electric haze Electric dreams Electric days Electric nights See the power Flower all around you Yellow zigzags Blooming in the air Bringing lightning To the darkness Of your absolute despair Let me see.
A six-letter word for "rat.
" M-A-S No, no, no.
Mustn't be angry with him.
I know.
I will be angry with him until he gets home, and then I will forgive him.
M-A-S-T-E-R.
Master.
Here the vibrations Feel the earth rock Watch the colors Fly about Exploding Into shock [MAGIC CHIME.]
Sweet cosmic music Like electric Drops of rain Sweet flowing rhythms Running freely Through your brain How it flowers All around you Energizing life In every way It's the power of life It's the power of love Power flowers today Electric beams Electric haze Electric dreams Electric days Electric nights Power off [ALL APPLAUD.]
[BAND PLAYS WALK-ON MUSIC.]
[MAN WHISTLES.]
[.]
Deliberately disobeyed me.
Went out of her way to embarrass me in front Master? What is the matter? Did you not have a good time? Huh? What? Did you not enjoy yourself? How can you ask me that? Well, it is It is very simple.
Did you not have fun? You better come up with a very good explanation, young lady.
Explanation? Yeah.
For what? What have I done? Gonna play that game with me? Go on.
Get in your bottle.
Oh-ho-ho, master, you have no reason to be angry with me.
I was angry with you.
But I have decided to forgive you.
Oh, you decided to forgive me, huh? Okay, that's the straw that Go ahead.
Get in your bottle.
Go on.
I'm not fooling around with you anymore.
But I Go on, I've had a tough day.
Go on.
Ooh! And stay there until you think of a good explanation.
Here.
[HUMS.]
[MAGIC CHIME.]
Jeannie! I told you to get back.
Jeannie! Jeannie, now, stop Huh? Jeannie, you stop playing games and get back in your bottle.
Come on.
Get back in here.
Ah, that's better.
Jeez, I'm probably so shook up I think I'm seeing things.
[LAUGHS.]
I just need a little rest.
Maybe I Maybe I've been working too hard.
A little session with Dr.
Bellows will straighten everything out.
A couple of months of therapy.
I think maybe we could resolve the whole problem.
[HUMS.]
Just been working too hard, that's all.
Thanks.
Jeannie! Hey, Jeannie! Come back here! Jeannie! You want the whole neighborhood to know you're having a fight with your genie? What's going on, here? You see Jeannie go out? No, I didn't see her go out the door.
But what's with the noise? What's all? Roger, I'm in trouble.
What's the matter? You're in trouble.
I just left Dr.
Bellows.
You're really in trouble.
Not that kind of trouble.
I mean I think I'm seeing things.
I really do.
I locked Jeannie in her bottle, and 10 seconds later she was walking through here.
In her bottle? Very funny.
Now, look.
Look.
The cork's gone.
The cork's gone.
Two hundred people are watching you.
You make a fool out of yourself, and you're worried about a cork.
Do you realize what went on back there? Do you know what you did? You walked on stage.
[MAGIC CHIME.]
You made a fool There she goes! Tony, I'm trying to tell you the bottle was uncorked.
Huh? Uncorked.
It's gone too far, Roger.
Jeannie's turned against me.
She can't turn against you.
You're her master.
She has to obey you.
Oh, yeah? Who says so? Well, maybe it's in the genie manual.
I don't know.
Well, then how come she deliberately disobeyed me when I told her not to go to that nightclub? Huh? How come? I don't know.
I told her to go to her bottle and she just wouldn't do it.
Well, maybe she wasn't issued a genie manual.
I think she's trying to drive me out of my mind, Roge.
You know something? I think she's succeeding.
I I corked her on her bottle and 10 seconds later she was just parading all over the house.
Give me that.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'll get you a nice, warm blanket.
Get yourself a nice, stiff glass of milk.
[HUMS.]
Hi, Jeannie.
Loved your act.
Good, good.
Hello, Major Healey.
As I was saying, you were terrific.
Whoa, wait.
Hey, now, wait a minute, you better get back in your bottle.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, wait a minute, now.
That's bad geniemanship.
You're in trouble now.
You are gonna get in trouble [MAGIC CHIME.]
Where's Jeannie? Huh? Jeannie.
Huh? You saw her too? Oh, you shouldn't disappoint Jeannie like that.
I mean, what's more important? I mean, you job? Huh? Or Jeannie? Huh? Did you hear that, Jeannie? I'm on your side.
Will you stop that and help me try to figure something out? Yeah, well, I'm gonna go home and figure it out, all right? You can't desert me now.
Come back here.
I'm not deserting you.
I'm leaving.
Roger, look, now that I understand what's bugging her, I can reason with her like a human being.
What's the matter with you, anyhow? Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony.
Huh? Let me Let me Don't.
Tony.
You're right.
Boo! Ah! [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Hi, Jeannie! TONY: Look, uh, I Ah! Jeannie, I am your master and I command you to [LAUGHS.]
Well, that's reasoning with her.
Jeannie? Jeannie? Jeannies to the left of us, Jeannies to the right of us.
Major Nelson.
Major, are you here? And Dr.
Bellows in the middle.
Major Nelson, I want a full explanation of your disgraceful conduct tonight.
Frankly, I was never so shocked in all my life.
Well, stick around, sir.
I think we can top it.
Alfred, now, don't be so pompous.
I'm sure the major has a perfectly good explanation if you'll just give him a chance.
Please, Amanda.
Well, Major Nelson? Uh, sir, it's late.
Couldn't we talk about this tomorrow? No, we cannot.
Oh, major, did you find out where you could get one of these exquisite bottles for me? Uh, no No, that's one of a kind.
Oh, well, why in the world do you keep a hankie stuck in the jar? [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
Because it's In the morning, major, you will have to explain your conduct to General Peterson.
And I assure you that he will not be as sympathetic towards your, uh, explanations as I am.
So I suggest you get started.
Oh, darling, stop badgering him.
Sir, you're gonna find this hard to believe.
All your explanations are hard to believe.
Oh, darling, give the boy a chance.
I'm sure he'll come up with something.
[LAUGHING.]
Have you seen this? Oh What? Excuse me.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows, if you could just watch me.
It's a very strange dance.
You go this way [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
That's it.
Ah! Alfred, Alfred, Alfred! Shh! No, not that way.
Spin around.
That's the new stance.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh! Major Huh? Oh, it's all right.
It's all right.
You look lovely that way.
You really do.
BELLOWS: Major Healey, what are you doing? ROGER: Uh Uh Uh Uh That's the latest dance.
Major, I ??? Alfred! Oh, what? Alfred! Alfred! What's going on, here? I don't know.
But I'm soon going to find out.
You are the one who is making my master act so strangely.
That's right, darling.
Everything's going according to plan.
And now that Major Nelson thinks you've turned against him, he's going to get rid of you forever.
And that's where I step in.
No! I will not permit it.
There's only one thing I hadn't counted on.
That stupid Major Healey letting the genie out of the bag.
[SQUEALS.]
Sister, you go home! Major Nelson is mine and I will never give him up.
Oh, well, I have news for you, darling.
He's ready to give you up.
[LAUGHS.]
See you later, alligator.
[SCREAMS.]
Well, sir, it all started years ago.
[CRASH.]
What? What is that? Years ago, when I first experienced my first earthquake.
Earthquake? Don't be ridiculous.
Oh! What? Uh, under the table.
It's safer.
[CRASH.]
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
I I I've always been terrified of earthquakes, sir.
I I felt the first tremor in the nightclub, and And that's when I hit the floor.
It's safer there.
Oh it's not safer here.
Major, I offer you my profound apologies.
If we ever live through this, I'm gonna make it up to you.
Uh Uh, you may live through it, sir, but I'm not so sure about me.
Oh, what's happening? Oh! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
You all right? Help me up.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, it's over, sir, I think.
Honey, let's go home, quick.
I I wanna see what happened to our house.
Oh, good night, major.
Uh, once more, my apologies.
I'll ever doubt your word again.
Yes.
It's over.
It's over.
Yeah, for them, maybe, but not for you.
Jeannie's still probably here.
Huh? Ah! It is all right, master.
It is all right.
It really is over.
My sister is gone.
Your sister? Yes, my sister.
She was the one who caused all the trouble.
She thought that if she could convince you that I had turned against you, that you would get rid of me.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
And then she could have you all to herself.
She was going to put you in a cage.
Yeah, well, it very nearly worked.
Oh, master, I am so sorry.
I promise you she will never bother you again.
I am sending her home to mama on ice.
Master? Well, what is the matter? I am your genie.
Can you not tell the difference? Can you tell? That reminds me.
I'm gonna make myself a drink on the rocks.
A large drink.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
Large rocks.
Large rocks.
Master? Uh But But [SIGHS.]
Master! [.]