I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s05e03 Episode Script
Guess Who's Going to Be a Bride? (1)
[.]
[SIGHS.]
I got it.
I got it.
Yeah.
Oh.
What, Major Healey? Tell me, quick.
I got it.
Why don't you give him a briefcase? Huh? The one he's got is falling apart.
Major Healey, my master and I are celebrating five years together as master and genie.
This This gift must be something special.
Yeah, something special.
Something special.
Hey, if you want to give him the kind of present a wife would give him, give him a tie.
Is that what wives usually give husbands? All the time.
Oh, well, all right.
[.]
What? What's that? A Thai from Thailand.
I wonder if I should have him gift-wrapped.
Just what Tony needed: A half a set of Siamese twins.
That's great.
Not Not a foreign Thai.
A foreign hand tie.
Oh, that kind of a tie.
Yes.
[RUMBLING.]
Oh! Hey.
What was that? Oh, major.
Oh, oh, I am sorry.
You will not be needed.
Heh.
[SIGHS.]
Well It's for you.
Oh.
Uncle Sully! My little Jeannie.
Will you? Will you let me down? You know, guys, heh, I'm with her.
Oh, Uncle Sully, you have not changed a bit.
Oh, a few last hairs and a little plumper, but you, my dove, you have blossomed into a woman.
ROGER: Jeannie.
Jeannie.
Oh, I am sorry.
This is my very dear friend, Major Healey.
Major, this is my granduncle Suleiman, maharajah of Basenji.
Oh, granduncle, yes.
Maharajah, no.
I have abdicated.
You, my niece, will be the new queen of Basenji.
Oh, oh.
Oh, no.
No.
Salaam to the new queen.
Oh, uncle, no.
I could not.
Uh, Your Majesty, as your first official act, would you mind getting me down from here? Oh! [GROANS.]
Thank you, uncle.
Oh, Major Healey, I have the most marvelous idea.
I know just what to give my master for our anniversary.
What? A country.
Oh, my master, the king.
[.]
[.]
[.]
[.]
Now, if Major Nelson is to be maharajah of Basenji, we must investigate him thoroughly.
So we will wait.
Sit down.
[.]
Now, Major Nelson, I want you to understand that this assignment is just as important to the program as your last moon flight.
Well, isn't there someone else, sir? I-I'm not very well versed in diplomatic protocol.
I'm apt to agree with you, major, but that's not the point.
The State Department promised the ambassador of Kasha that an astronaut would show him and his party around the base.
Kasha? Hmm.
SCHAEFFER: Yes.
Kasha has the only deposits of refineable phinkilium, a rare metal that we must have for the propulsion system of the Saturn 12.
Um, exactly where is Kasha, sir? Uh, it's in the Mideast.
Uh, it shares borders with Russia, Afghanistan and an insignificant little emirate called, uh, uh, Basenji.
Oh, yes, here.
Now, your job, Major Nelson [QUIETLY.]
Your Majesty.
Hi, Roge.
What'd you call me? Oh, uh, nothing, Your Highness.
Well, what are you talking about, Roge? Not me.
Not Roge.
Mum's the word.
When I keep a secret, I really keep a secret.
See? [.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
Oh! Well, you must be Major Anthony Nelson? Yes.
Salaam! Oh, local custom, huh? Salaam! Now, Major No.
Arise.
The Most High kneels to no one.
Oh.
Heh-heh.
Well, thank you.
You know, major, I have had good reports of you.
But, uh, my country is very dear to my heart.
So before I make this final decision, I must investigate you thoroughly.
I understand, sir.
I'll make myself at your disposal.
Major Nelson, I just wondered Oh, they're here, I see.
Yes.
Salaam! I beg your pardon.
Uh, it's a local custom, sir.
He wants you to kneel.
In Cocoa Beach? Please, sir.
Oh, of course.
Not to me, to him.
You want me to salaam to Major Nelson? Remember the phinkilium, sir.
Oh You may rise, sir.
Well, I see that you're all getting along quite swimmingly, so I'll I'll just report to the general, uh, that you're here.
Uh, gentlemen.
Oh, uh Uh, effendi.
A, uh Effendi.
Well, slow down, doctor.
The The ambassador from Kasha isn't supposed to be here until late this afternoon.
Sir, I have just come from Major Nelson's office, where I saw them with my own eyes.
They They made me salaam to Major Nelson.
Salaam? [CHUCKLES.]
To To Major Nelson? Yes, sir.
In the interest of the phinkilium, I thought it was best to humor them.
Ah, come along, doctor.
I'd like to meet this ambassador from Kasha.
[.]
TONY: Just step in this way please, gentlemen.
Now, in this room we simulate conditions of inner and outer space.
And I think you'll find this room particularly interesting.
It's the wind tunnel.
Uh, in this room we test air draft.
[GRUNTS.]
Oh, well, thank you.
Uh, now, this generates heat as well as wind velocities up to 2000 miles per hour.
Now, if you'll look at those giant blades in the back, that's what gives it Uh, please feel free to look around and just enjoy yourself.
Take all the time you want.
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Roge.
Uncle Sull Are you really going through with this thing? I have to.
It's in the national interest.
ROGER: Oh, well, if you need any help, I'll be glad to give you a hand.
Thanks, Roge.
Uh, you're probably having your own harem and, uh, you could maybe get me one and we can double-date.
Harem? What are you talking about? Swell.
Now that you're the maharajah, you're gonna forget about your old buddies? I don't know what's going through your head, but the only reason I'm doing this is because NASA wants the mineral rights to the phinkilium.
What did you say? Uh, uh, the phinkilium, sir.
I was, uh, explaining to my colleague that the major resource of Kasha is phinkilium.
And you are a supporter of Kasha? Yes, sir.
We all are.
Tony, this-those guys Roge, we have to reassure 'em.
Uh, sir, Your Excellency, written across my heart, in letters of affection and respect, is the word Kasha.
Traitor! Vile offspring of a snake! Now Now, wait Wait, sir.
Don't get excited, please.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
Oh Well, you can forget about the harem girls.
He blinked.
You blinked.
He blinked! Of course I blinked.
Of course he blinks.
He's Jeannie's granduncle.
It runs in the family.
What? You have the colossal effrontery to tell me Me, Suleiman, that you are a partisan of Kasha, our hated and hereditary enemy? Uh, sir, if you'll just let me explain, I Take him.
[YELLS.]
Hey, let's negotiate! The only thing you'll be able to negotiate is whether I turn you into a galley slave or a keeper of the camel.
TONY: Jeannie! [SULEIMAN CACKLES.]
Where is Major Nelson? Major Nelson? Oh, Major Nelson.
Oh, he's, uh He's not here.
Well, I asked you to have him wait.
Oh, I asked him.
I asked him, sir.
He had to go.
He said he had to go.
It was urgent.
With the Kashese ambassador, right? Uh, a plump fellow with two huge ones? I-in, uh, turbans and robes? Well, I didn't see any Kashese, uh, ambassador.
But he was with them.
TONY [MUFFLED.]
: Jeannie! What was that? What was that? What was that? Well, they're testing the wind tunnel.
Nonsense.
That was a human voice.
Excuse me, major.
Don't go in there, sir.
Sir, sir.
Oh, uh, sir, have you noticed that Dr.
Bellows has been acting rather strange lately? [MACHINERY WHIRRING.]
[WIND BLOWING.]
[BUTTON CLICKS.]
[WHIRRING FADES.]
I saw him.
I saw him! He was chained to a huge plank over his shoulders, and those men in the turbans and the robes, they were standing over him.
And then, all of a sudden, that plump one folded his arms, and they all disappeared.
But it's true.
I saw it.
Major, in answer to your previous question, I'd say you were guilty of a gross understatement.
Come along, doctor.
Now, Major Healey, find Major Nelson and ask him to come to my office.
Yes, sir.
Major Healey It's all right.
BELLOWS: General, I tell you As soon as he finishes taking care of the camels.
[.]
One, two.
One, two.
One, two.
Two, three.
One, two, three.
[GRUNTS.]
Oh Oh, it is terrible.
It's true.
What have I done? Shh.
Quiet! I don't wanna miss a beat.
It fouls up the other guys.
Oh, it's terrible.
[GRUNTS.]
Oh, it's great.
Great.
An all-expense-paid vacation, as an anniversary present, as a galley slave.
Do not worry, master.
I will rescue you.
Yeah, just don't talk about it, do it.
Would you please blink me home? Oh, I want to, master, more than anything in the whole world.
Yeah? But, uh, it is not that easy.
You What's so tough about a blink? Well, you see, master, blinking would not do any good.
You see, Uncle Sully put you here, and besides being a genie, he's also a maharajah and his blink takes precedence over mine.
Oh.
See, I don't want a lecture on the ranking of genies.
Just get me home, please.
Oh, yes, master.
Instantly.
Yeah I will, uh I will talk to Uncle Sully.
Good.
Good.
Yes.
[.]
Oh, please, Uncle Sully.
Please.
He is my master and I love him.
By punishing him, you are punishing me.
You, my dove? Never.
Besides, you don't need him anymore.
As soon as I abdicate, you will be the new queen of Basenji.
I do not wish to be queen of Basenji if I must lose my master.
You love him that much? Does he also return your love? Well Yeah.
Yes, yes.
He He does.
Yes.
All right.
I am about to make an executive decision.
I will release him.
Oh, thank you, Uncle Mwah! Oh! [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
On two conditions: First, that he avenge the honor of Basenji for his traitorous support of Kasha.
Oh, I'm sure he will do that.
And second, that he marry you.
Oh, I'm not so sure he will do that.
MAN: Stroke, you traitorous oxen, stroke! Water! Thanks.
Dr.
Bellows Yes? Do you still insist that you saw Major Nelson with the ambassador from Kasha? Well, o-of course, general.
Two huge guards in turbans and robes.
Brace yourself, doctor.
Would you come in, please.
This is Dr.
Bellows.
He's had a slight accident.
Dr.
Bellows, this is His Excellency, the ambassador from Kasha, the emir Hamid Al Yachman.
[.]
This is ridiculous.
I can't agree to those conditions.
Oh, well, of course, master.
I understand if you do not wish to marry me.
I didn't say I did not wish to marry you, but I will not be intimidated.
Master What? I think it'd be better if you got down on your knees as if you were proposing to me.
I'm not gonna get down on my knees to anybody.
One, two, three, stroke.
One, two, three, stroke.
All right.
This is blackmail.
Oh, master, you know I would not put you in this position if it were not necessary.
Yeah.
But as long as you're down there do you love me just a little bit? Yes, I love you very much! Oh, Uncle Sully, he says all right! I did not say, "All right.
" Well, I know that and you know that, but Uncle Sully does not know that.
Wait a minute.
What about the other condition? How am I g-going to avenge the honor of Basenji? Oh, master, do not worry about that.
It will probably be something relatively easy to do.
Yeah Wait! Tony.
Oh, uh, excuse me, your most high.
This'll just take a second.
Oh, hi, Tony.
Uh, did you have a rough cruise? Oh, listen, listen.
Thanks.
General Schaeffer wants to see you.
He wants you to escort the ambassador of Kasha.
What?! Roger! What'd I say? Quiet, slow-witted one.
Oh, you have just supplied the means for Major Nelson to satisfy the first condition.
[.]
Tony? Tony.
What? Wait, wait.
I got something for you.
Oh, careful.
What is that, Roger? I've thrown this thing away three times.
Why do you keep picking it up? Tony, you don't want to be a galley slave.
Besides, the ambassador's a little guy.
I'll give him the tour and that'll be the end of it.
Give him the tour.
Come on.
ROGER: Yeah, give him the tour.
[.]
Oh, it will be a pleasure to watch Major Nelson get rid of him.
Perfect.
Ah! His Excellency, the ambassador from Kasha, the emir Hamid Al Yachman.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
It's a great honor to meet you, sir.
Ptooey.
The honor is mine.
Hey! Oh! Oh, uh, a-and also an honor to present you with this ceremonial letter opener in honor o-of your visit, Your Honor.
Heh-heh.
Well, that's That's very thoughtful of you, major.
Isn't it, doctor? Yes, uh, very thoughtful.
Now, uh, gentlemen, the base is yours.
If you need anything, just don't hesitate to call.
General, about that letter opener.
Come, doctor.
Uh, we'll We'll start off with the Simulated Space Environmental lab, sir.
Uh, right this way.
Roger.
"Made in Basenji"? Ptooey! Right this way, sir.
It is dangerous in here.
TONY: Now, you'll notice, sir, that this is a very small room.
However, with our various devices, we're able to simulate the vastness of outer space.
Now I'd like to draw your attention to the wind tunnel.
No, no.
I beg of you.
I I am an honored guest.
Well, it's just a pointer.
I was just pointing with it.
You are trying to kill me.
[YELLS.]
Sir, if you'll just wait a minute.
When some man with a scimitar has it pointed at your throat, there is nothing to wait for! [.]
Now, this is what I call fun.
Heh-heh.
Wait a minute, sir.
[YELLS.]
[GROWLING.]
[BOTH YELL.]
If you touch me, it means war.
I have diplomatic immunity.
Please get up, sir.
I I can explain everything.
[CHUCKLING.]
Really, I can.
Can I listen? Now for the finishing touch.
Psst.
Psst.
Psst.
Psst.
Figured you'd be around here someplace.
Give him this.
[FIZZING.]
Give it to him.
[QUIETLY.]
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stay there.
Please, please, please! TONY: No, no, no.
Sir? Sir, uh, take this.
This will soothe your nerves.
Oh.
Sorry, sir.
Where'd you get it? Good idea.
From Uncle Sully in the garbage can.
Huh? [YELLS.]
I'm I'm sorry I had to do that.
[GASPING.]
What's the matter? [SIZZLING.]
Ah! The foot, the foot.
[YELLING.]
[YELLING.]
You assassin! Assassin?! [YELLING.]
Well, gentlemen, how are things going? So, general, this is the way you treat an honored guest.
You turn him over to that murderous maniac.
He tried to stab me.
To slit my throat.
To throw me into a den of ferocious tigers.
To poison me with acid.
A den of tigers? In the Space Environment lab? Your Excellency, please No more, no more.
Kasha is going to sever diplomatic relations with the United States.
We are going to sell our phinkilium to To Albania! S-stop him, doctor! Stop him! Yes, general.
Sir, if you'd just Atten-hut! You will explain nothing.
In the last 24 hours, you have not only driven Dr.
Bellows to the point of a nervous breakdown, but you have muffed an assignment that is vital to the future of the space program.
Permission to speak, sir.
Permission to speak?! [CHUCKLING.]
Nelson, you'll be lucky if you get permission to stay in the Air Force.
[.]
And get some decent shoes.
Well, you've always got your job as a galley slave.
Is that lunatic still in the g-garbage can? Yeah.
Yeah? What is it? What is it? What is it? Shh.
Gotcha! Now, you listen to me, maharajah of Basenji.
You and your two clowns better stay out of my life or you're gonna spend your life in a NASA garbage can.
Yeah.
And And none of your cockeyed conditions.
I'm Jeannie's master and that's the way it's gonna stay.
You understand? I'm sick and tired of her and her magical nincompoops f-fouling up my life.
I wouldn't marry her if she were the last genie on Earth! That's telling him, Tony.
Yeah.
Goodbye, master forever.
[.]
Just calm down.
Everything's gonna be all right.
She'll probably be waiting for you in her bottle.
She said she was gonna leave a million times.
And will you calm down? Hold that, will you.
What What are you looking for? My keys.
Oh.
Your keys.
Boy, you're in bad shape.
Listen, Roger, what did I? I completely lost my temper.
You think she'll ever forgive me? Huh? I don't know, but I don't want to be around if she doesn't.
Oh.
Oh, those are the car keys.
Here Here's the house keys.
Look, just Just Jeannie.
Jeannie.
Oh, I didn't meant it.
Jeannie, he didn't mean it.
Even if he did, he's the one who said it, not me.
I didn't do it.
This is no time to joke.
She might really be gone.
It wasn't me.
Oh, thank heavens, here's the bottle.
Here, give me those.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Jeannie, listen.
I'm I'm really sorry for what I said.
I I didn't mean it at all.
What happened was that I I was pretty angry at your uncle, and Ah, I hope you'll forgive me.
[.]
Maybe she didn't hear you.
[SIGHS.]
Jeannie, come on out.
I-I brought you some flowers.
There's nothing in there.
What? TONY: And she left me a note.
What's the matter? You read it.
Well, I think she really left you this time.
[ECHOING.]
Well, I think she really left you this time.
I think she really left you this time.
I think she really left you this time.
I think she really left you this time.
[.]
[SIGHS.]
I got it.
I got it.
Yeah.
Oh.
What, Major Healey? Tell me, quick.
I got it.
Why don't you give him a briefcase? Huh? The one he's got is falling apart.
Major Healey, my master and I are celebrating five years together as master and genie.
This This gift must be something special.
Yeah, something special.
Something special.
Hey, if you want to give him the kind of present a wife would give him, give him a tie.
Is that what wives usually give husbands? All the time.
Oh, well, all right.
[.]
What? What's that? A Thai from Thailand.
I wonder if I should have him gift-wrapped.
Just what Tony needed: A half a set of Siamese twins.
That's great.
Not Not a foreign Thai.
A foreign hand tie.
Oh, that kind of a tie.
Yes.
[RUMBLING.]
Oh! Hey.
What was that? Oh, major.
Oh, oh, I am sorry.
You will not be needed.
Heh.
[SIGHS.]
Well It's for you.
Oh.
Uncle Sully! My little Jeannie.
Will you? Will you let me down? You know, guys, heh, I'm with her.
Oh, Uncle Sully, you have not changed a bit.
Oh, a few last hairs and a little plumper, but you, my dove, you have blossomed into a woman.
ROGER: Jeannie.
Jeannie.
Oh, I am sorry.
This is my very dear friend, Major Healey.
Major, this is my granduncle Suleiman, maharajah of Basenji.
Oh, granduncle, yes.
Maharajah, no.
I have abdicated.
You, my niece, will be the new queen of Basenji.
Oh, oh.
Oh, no.
No.
Salaam to the new queen.
Oh, uncle, no.
I could not.
Uh, Your Majesty, as your first official act, would you mind getting me down from here? Oh! [GROANS.]
Thank you, uncle.
Oh, Major Healey, I have the most marvelous idea.
I know just what to give my master for our anniversary.
What? A country.
Oh, my master, the king.
[.]
[.]
[.]
[.]
Now, if Major Nelson is to be maharajah of Basenji, we must investigate him thoroughly.
So we will wait.
Sit down.
[.]
Now, Major Nelson, I want you to understand that this assignment is just as important to the program as your last moon flight.
Well, isn't there someone else, sir? I-I'm not very well versed in diplomatic protocol.
I'm apt to agree with you, major, but that's not the point.
The State Department promised the ambassador of Kasha that an astronaut would show him and his party around the base.
Kasha? Hmm.
SCHAEFFER: Yes.
Kasha has the only deposits of refineable phinkilium, a rare metal that we must have for the propulsion system of the Saturn 12.
Um, exactly where is Kasha, sir? Uh, it's in the Mideast.
Uh, it shares borders with Russia, Afghanistan and an insignificant little emirate called, uh, uh, Basenji.
Oh, yes, here.
Now, your job, Major Nelson [QUIETLY.]
Your Majesty.
Hi, Roge.
What'd you call me? Oh, uh, nothing, Your Highness.
Well, what are you talking about, Roge? Not me.
Not Roge.
Mum's the word.
When I keep a secret, I really keep a secret.
See? [.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
Oh! Well, you must be Major Anthony Nelson? Yes.
Salaam! Oh, local custom, huh? Salaam! Now, Major No.
Arise.
The Most High kneels to no one.
Oh.
Heh-heh.
Well, thank you.
You know, major, I have had good reports of you.
But, uh, my country is very dear to my heart.
So before I make this final decision, I must investigate you thoroughly.
I understand, sir.
I'll make myself at your disposal.
Major Nelson, I just wondered Oh, they're here, I see.
Yes.
Salaam! I beg your pardon.
Uh, it's a local custom, sir.
He wants you to kneel.
In Cocoa Beach? Please, sir.
Oh, of course.
Not to me, to him.
You want me to salaam to Major Nelson? Remember the phinkilium, sir.
Oh You may rise, sir.
Well, I see that you're all getting along quite swimmingly, so I'll I'll just report to the general, uh, that you're here.
Uh, gentlemen.
Oh, uh Uh, effendi.
A, uh Effendi.
Well, slow down, doctor.
The The ambassador from Kasha isn't supposed to be here until late this afternoon.
Sir, I have just come from Major Nelson's office, where I saw them with my own eyes.
They They made me salaam to Major Nelson.
Salaam? [CHUCKLES.]
To To Major Nelson? Yes, sir.
In the interest of the phinkilium, I thought it was best to humor them.
Ah, come along, doctor.
I'd like to meet this ambassador from Kasha.
[.]
TONY: Just step in this way please, gentlemen.
Now, in this room we simulate conditions of inner and outer space.
And I think you'll find this room particularly interesting.
It's the wind tunnel.
Uh, in this room we test air draft.
[GRUNTS.]
Oh, well, thank you.
Uh, now, this generates heat as well as wind velocities up to 2000 miles per hour.
Now, if you'll look at those giant blades in the back, that's what gives it Uh, please feel free to look around and just enjoy yourself.
Take all the time you want.
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Roge.
Uncle Sull Are you really going through with this thing? I have to.
It's in the national interest.
ROGER: Oh, well, if you need any help, I'll be glad to give you a hand.
Thanks, Roge.
Uh, you're probably having your own harem and, uh, you could maybe get me one and we can double-date.
Harem? What are you talking about? Swell.
Now that you're the maharajah, you're gonna forget about your old buddies? I don't know what's going through your head, but the only reason I'm doing this is because NASA wants the mineral rights to the phinkilium.
What did you say? Uh, uh, the phinkilium, sir.
I was, uh, explaining to my colleague that the major resource of Kasha is phinkilium.
And you are a supporter of Kasha? Yes, sir.
We all are.
Tony, this-those guys Roge, we have to reassure 'em.
Uh, sir, Your Excellency, written across my heart, in letters of affection and respect, is the word Kasha.
Traitor! Vile offspring of a snake! Now Now, wait Wait, sir.
Don't get excited, please.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
Oh Well, you can forget about the harem girls.
He blinked.
You blinked.
He blinked! Of course I blinked.
Of course he blinks.
He's Jeannie's granduncle.
It runs in the family.
What? You have the colossal effrontery to tell me Me, Suleiman, that you are a partisan of Kasha, our hated and hereditary enemy? Uh, sir, if you'll just let me explain, I Take him.
[YELLS.]
Hey, let's negotiate! The only thing you'll be able to negotiate is whether I turn you into a galley slave or a keeper of the camel.
TONY: Jeannie! [SULEIMAN CACKLES.]
Where is Major Nelson? Major Nelson? Oh, Major Nelson.
Oh, he's, uh He's not here.
Well, I asked you to have him wait.
Oh, I asked him.
I asked him, sir.
He had to go.
He said he had to go.
It was urgent.
With the Kashese ambassador, right? Uh, a plump fellow with two huge ones? I-in, uh, turbans and robes? Well, I didn't see any Kashese, uh, ambassador.
But he was with them.
TONY [MUFFLED.]
: Jeannie! What was that? What was that? What was that? Well, they're testing the wind tunnel.
Nonsense.
That was a human voice.
Excuse me, major.
Don't go in there, sir.
Sir, sir.
Oh, uh, sir, have you noticed that Dr.
Bellows has been acting rather strange lately? [MACHINERY WHIRRING.]
[WIND BLOWING.]
[BUTTON CLICKS.]
[WHIRRING FADES.]
I saw him.
I saw him! He was chained to a huge plank over his shoulders, and those men in the turbans and the robes, they were standing over him.
And then, all of a sudden, that plump one folded his arms, and they all disappeared.
But it's true.
I saw it.
Major, in answer to your previous question, I'd say you were guilty of a gross understatement.
Come along, doctor.
Now, Major Healey, find Major Nelson and ask him to come to my office.
Yes, sir.
Major Healey It's all right.
BELLOWS: General, I tell you As soon as he finishes taking care of the camels.
[.]
One, two.
One, two.
One, two.
Two, three.
One, two, three.
[GRUNTS.]
Oh Oh, it is terrible.
It's true.
What have I done? Shh.
Quiet! I don't wanna miss a beat.
It fouls up the other guys.
Oh, it's terrible.
[GRUNTS.]
Oh, it's great.
Great.
An all-expense-paid vacation, as an anniversary present, as a galley slave.
Do not worry, master.
I will rescue you.
Yeah, just don't talk about it, do it.
Would you please blink me home? Oh, I want to, master, more than anything in the whole world.
Yeah? But, uh, it is not that easy.
You What's so tough about a blink? Well, you see, master, blinking would not do any good.
You see, Uncle Sully put you here, and besides being a genie, he's also a maharajah and his blink takes precedence over mine.
Oh.
See, I don't want a lecture on the ranking of genies.
Just get me home, please.
Oh, yes, master.
Instantly.
Yeah I will, uh I will talk to Uncle Sully.
Good.
Good.
Yes.
[.]
Oh, please, Uncle Sully.
Please.
He is my master and I love him.
By punishing him, you are punishing me.
You, my dove? Never.
Besides, you don't need him anymore.
As soon as I abdicate, you will be the new queen of Basenji.
I do not wish to be queen of Basenji if I must lose my master.
You love him that much? Does he also return your love? Well Yeah.
Yes, yes.
He He does.
Yes.
All right.
I am about to make an executive decision.
I will release him.
Oh, thank you, Uncle Mwah! Oh! [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
On two conditions: First, that he avenge the honor of Basenji for his traitorous support of Kasha.
Oh, I'm sure he will do that.
And second, that he marry you.
Oh, I'm not so sure he will do that.
MAN: Stroke, you traitorous oxen, stroke! Water! Thanks.
Dr.
Bellows Yes? Do you still insist that you saw Major Nelson with the ambassador from Kasha? Well, o-of course, general.
Two huge guards in turbans and robes.
Brace yourself, doctor.
Would you come in, please.
This is Dr.
Bellows.
He's had a slight accident.
Dr.
Bellows, this is His Excellency, the ambassador from Kasha, the emir Hamid Al Yachman.
[.]
This is ridiculous.
I can't agree to those conditions.
Oh, well, of course, master.
I understand if you do not wish to marry me.
I didn't say I did not wish to marry you, but I will not be intimidated.
Master What? I think it'd be better if you got down on your knees as if you were proposing to me.
I'm not gonna get down on my knees to anybody.
One, two, three, stroke.
One, two, three, stroke.
All right.
This is blackmail.
Oh, master, you know I would not put you in this position if it were not necessary.
Yeah.
But as long as you're down there do you love me just a little bit? Yes, I love you very much! Oh, Uncle Sully, he says all right! I did not say, "All right.
" Well, I know that and you know that, but Uncle Sully does not know that.
Wait a minute.
What about the other condition? How am I g-going to avenge the honor of Basenji? Oh, master, do not worry about that.
It will probably be something relatively easy to do.
Yeah Wait! Tony.
Oh, uh, excuse me, your most high.
This'll just take a second.
Oh, hi, Tony.
Uh, did you have a rough cruise? Oh, listen, listen.
Thanks.
General Schaeffer wants to see you.
He wants you to escort the ambassador of Kasha.
What?! Roger! What'd I say? Quiet, slow-witted one.
Oh, you have just supplied the means for Major Nelson to satisfy the first condition.
[.]
Tony? Tony.
What? Wait, wait.
I got something for you.
Oh, careful.
What is that, Roger? I've thrown this thing away three times.
Why do you keep picking it up? Tony, you don't want to be a galley slave.
Besides, the ambassador's a little guy.
I'll give him the tour and that'll be the end of it.
Give him the tour.
Come on.
ROGER: Yeah, give him the tour.
[.]
Oh, it will be a pleasure to watch Major Nelson get rid of him.
Perfect.
Ah! His Excellency, the ambassador from Kasha, the emir Hamid Al Yachman.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
It's a great honor to meet you, sir.
Ptooey.
The honor is mine.
Hey! Oh! Oh, uh, a-and also an honor to present you with this ceremonial letter opener in honor o-of your visit, Your Honor.
Heh-heh.
Well, that's That's very thoughtful of you, major.
Isn't it, doctor? Yes, uh, very thoughtful.
Now, uh, gentlemen, the base is yours.
If you need anything, just don't hesitate to call.
General, about that letter opener.
Come, doctor.
Uh, we'll We'll start off with the Simulated Space Environmental lab, sir.
Uh, right this way.
Roger.
"Made in Basenji"? Ptooey! Right this way, sir.
It is dangerous in here.
TONY: Now, you'll notice, sir, that this is a very small room.
However, with our various devices, we're able to simulate the vastness of outer space.
Now I'd like to draw your attention to the wind tunnel.
No, no.
I beg of you.
I I am an honored guest.
Well, it's just a pointer.
I was just pointing with it.
You are trying to kill me.
[YELLS.]
Sir, if you'll just wait a minute.
When some man with a scimitar has it pointed at your throat, there is nothing to wait for! [.]
Now, this is what I call fun.
Heh-heh.
Wait a minute, sir.
[YELLS.]
[GROWLING.]
[BOTH YELL.]
If you touch me, it means war.
I have diplomatic immunity.
Please get up, sir.
I I can explain everything.
[CHUCKLING.]
Really, I can.
Can I listen? Now for the finishing touch.
Psst.
Psst.
Psst.
Psst.
Figured you'd be around here someplace.
Give him this.
[FIZZING.]
Give it to him.
[QUIETLY.]
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stay there.
Please, please, please! TONY: No, no, no.
Sir? Sir, uh, take this.
This will soothe your nerves.
Oh.
Sorry, sir.
Where'd you get it? Good idea.
From Uncle Sully in the garbage can.
Huh? [YELLS.]
I'm I'm sorry I had to do that.
[GASPING.]
What's the matter? [SIZZLING.]
Ah! The foot, the foot.
[YELLING.]
[YELLING.]
You assassin! Assassin?! [YELLING.]
Well, gentlemen, how are things going? So, general, this is the way you treat an honored guest.
You turn him over to that murderous maniac.
He tried to stab me.
To slit my throat.
To throw me into a den of ferocious tigers.
To poison me with acid.
A den of tigers? In the Space Environment lab? Your Excellency, please No more, no more.
Kasha is going to sever diplomatic relations with the United States.
We are going to sell our phinkilium to To Albania! S-stop him, doctor! Stop him! Yes, general.
Sir, if you'd just Atten-hut! You will explain nothing.
In the last 24 hours, you have not only driven Dr.
Bellows to the point of a nervous breakdown, but you have muffed an assignment that is vital to the future of the space program.
Permission to speak, sir.
Permission to speak?! [CHUCKLING.]
Nelson, you'll be lucky if you get permission to stay in the Air Force.
[.]
And get some decent shoes.
Well, you've always got your job as a galley slave.
Is that lunatic still in the g-garbage can? Yeah.
Yeah? What is it? What is it? What is it? Shh.
Gotcha! Now, you listen to me, maharajah of Basenji.
You and your two clowns better stay out of my life or you're gonna spend your life in a NASA garbage can.
Yeah.
And And none of your cockeyed conditions.
I'm Jeannie's master and that's the way it's gonna stay.
You understand? I'm sick and tired of her and her magical nincompoops f-fouling up my life.
I wouldn't marry her if she were the last genie on Earth! That's telling him, Tony.
Yeah.
Goodbye, master forever.
[.]
Just calm down.
Everything's gonna be all right.
She'll probably be waiting for you in her bottle.
She said she was gonna leave a million times.
And will you calm down? Hold that, will you.
What What are you looking for? My keys.
Oh.
Your keys.
Boy, you're in bad shape.
Listen, Roger, what did I? I completely lost my temper.
You think she'll ever forgive me? Huh? I don't know, but I don't want to be around if she doesn't.
Oh.
Oh, those are the car keys.
Here Here's the house keys.
Look, just Just Jeannie.
Jeannie.
Oh, I didn't meant it.
Jeannie, he didn't mean it.
Even if he did, he's the one who said it, not me.
I didn't do it.
This is no time to joke.
She might really be gone.
It wasn't me.
Oh, thank heavens, here's the bottle.
Here, give me those.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Jeannie, listen.
I'm I'm really sorry for what I said.
I I didn't mean it at all.
What happened was that I I was pretty angry at your uncle, and Ah, I hope you'll forgive me.
[.]
Maybe she didn't hear you.
[SIGHS.]
Jeannie, come on out.
I-I brought you some flowers.
There's nothing in there.
What? TONY: And she left me a note.
What's the matter? You read it.
Well, I think she really left you this time.
[ECHOING.]
Well, I think she really left you this time.
I think she really left you this time.
I think she really left you this time.
I think she really left you this time.
[.]