I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s05e11 Episode Script
The Wedding
[.]
Oh, master.
I cannot believe that we are really going to be married.
It is like a dream.
No, it's not a dream, Jeannie.
It's really happening.
Mm-hm.
Would you do something for me? Yeah, sure.
What? Would you say "Mrs.
Anthony Nelson"? Mrs.
Anthony Nelson.
Ooh.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, that is so beautiful I cannot stand it.
Yeah.
Hey, listen, you gotta change.
We don't wanna be late for the rehearsal.
Oh.
Oh.
Ah.
Are you all right? I I will hurry.
[.]
BELLOWS: Did you order any more azaleas? [PEOPLE CHATTERING.]
MAN: Please.
Please, everybody.
We must get started with this rehearsal.
Now, I've got a baptism at 11 and a funeral at noon.
Everything's gonna be all right, Reverend.
Well, now, is everybody here? Well The bride, the groom, the best man Oh.
Where is Major Healey, Anthony? Well, he knew this thing was gonna be at 10:00.
Well, uh, keep calm, everyone.
Don't worry.
I'll find him.
Oh, excuse me.
Matron of honor? Oh yes, that's me.
I'm here.
The father of the bride? Oh, uh, Dr.
Bellows is gonna give the bride away, sir.
Well, is he here then? Oh, well, he just went to get the best man.
Major Nelson, babies get cold if they're kept waiting.
All national magazines, major? Well, that's marvelous.
We're all here now, Reverend.
Finally.
Now, then, Major Healey is the best man.
Uh, Major Healey.
I can't figure this out.
You know, I took this picture about an hour ago.
Yeah.
Well, it's supposed to be of the bride and groom, but, uh Well, the bride didn't come out.
Uh, let me see that.
That's peculiar.
We The purse is there, but no Jeannie.
Uh, may I see that, sir? Oh, yes.
JEANNIE [QUIETLY.]
: Genies cannot be photographed.
[LAUGHING.]
Well Major Nelson.
What are you doing? It wasn't a very good liking, sir.
[.]
[.]
No pictures? What are you gonna show your grandchildren? Shh.
Roger.
She doesn't photograph.
She doesn't photograph? You mean she's not photogenic? That's a heck of a thing to say at your wedding.
No.
She just doesn't come out.
You saw that picture.
That is right, Major Healey.
It is one of the few disadvantages of being a genie.
Oh, what am I gonna tell the reporters and photographers? You're not telling 'em.
I'm gonna tell 'em.
No photographers and that's it.
Now, let's get this rehearsal over with.
Oh.
Hi.
Uh, Major Healey.
No pictures, no pictures.
No pictures? Well, you can take one of me later in my uniform.
[STAMMERS.]
[.]
And now, folks, if I may have your Dr.
Bellows.
Why are you shouting? We're the only ones here.
Oh, yes.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Uh, the Reverend Weems, uh, asked me to tell you that he had to leave to perform the baptism.
And he asked me, uh, to take over the rehearsal.
Uh, now.
Amanda, you just stand right where you are.
'Course I'll stay right here.
This is where he told me to stand.
Amanda, what's the matter? [SNIFFLES.]
Nothing's the matter with me? I always cry at weddings.
But this isn't the wedding.
It's only a rehearsal.
May Maybe she's rehearsing her crying.
But, it's rather ridiculous Well, there you are.
You can have all the rehearsal shots you could want.
Oh, uh Uh, sir.
The photographers Hold it just like that.
[SCREAMING.]
Major Nelson.
It's a camera, not a shotgun.
These gentlemen are from the national magazines.
No, no, no.
Why can't we have a little? Please, no one [SCREAMS.]
Uh.
Could I have that, please? Thank you.
Can I speak to you, sir? No, no.
No No photograph.
But I insist on it.
Yes.
Sir.
Uh, uh No photographers, please.
Please, no photographers.
We We made an agreement.
Major Nelson, Jeannie, you're both obviously upset.
Now, l-let's have it.
It's the photographers, sir.
We don't want any.
We don't want any pictures taken at all.
No.
That is right, general.
I I-I am camera shy.
Yeah.
Oh, Jeannie, I I understand how you feel.
Believe me.
You'd like a simple, intimate wedding.
But an astronaut is a public figure, and the press is entitled to cover this marriage.
Sir, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to insist.
It's a personal matter.
Major.
It's out of my hands.
Major Healey cleared these people with the Pentagon, and they'd scream blue murder if I tried to throw them out.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to make the best of it.
Oh, sorry.
No pictures.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, master, what are we going to do? I'd like to elope.
That is an excellent idea.
Honey, wait a minute.
[CHATTER.]
[.]
Uh.
Jeannie.
What are you doing? We're eloping, master, just as you said.
It will only take me a minute to pack.
Wait a minute.
I said I might like to elope.
I I We can't.
It's too late.
But everyone is so busy.
[SOBBING.]
And they are all nervous.
And you're worried about photographers.
And this is all wrong.
Hey, hey.
Wait.
Wait a minute.
No sense in crying about it.
Come here.
What's all this? You don't have to cry.
Yes, I do.
Oh, look, I know exactly how you feel.
You do? Of course I do.
Uh, you've got what they call, um, pre-wedding jitters.
That's all.
Ev It's indigenous to brides.
It's kind of a tradition.
But I wanted our wedding to be so beautiful and simple.
Beautiful? Oh, sure.
But simple, darling, never.
You see, the trouble with weddings is, the The bride and groom don't count.
Well then it's why we should elope.
So we can go someplace where we can be alone.
Aw.
We're gonna have the rest of our lives alone together.
Now, let's just figure today, that's for everybody else.
All our friends and relations will come and wish us luck.
Give us their congratulations and their confidence.
And after all, how would Roger, and Dr.
and Mrs.
Bellows feel if we just ran off? [.]
[GASPS.]
Oh, that is exactly what we have done.
They must be looking all over for us.
Let 'em look a little longer.
It won't hurt 'em.
This is much more important.
You see, I don't care where I marry you.
A parachute.
Madison Square Garden.
Or Westminster Abby.
Because I love you.
You believe that? Oh, yes, master, I do.
Mm.
Don't call me master.
Call me Tony.
Yes, An Anthony.
I I do.
All right.
You remember that "I do" for the ceremony.
It'll really come in handy.
Shall we get on with the wedding? [GIDDILY.]
Oh, yes.
Darling, yes.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know, you were right.
It could've been a lot worse.
Yeah? How? Well my mother could've decided to come.
Oh.
Master.
What? What about the photographers? You'll just have to blink the cameras.
Blink the cameras.
I can't find them anywhere.
We'll have to go along without them.
Amanda, can't you look over Sir, uh, can we get along with the rehearsal? Uh, Jeannie's Oh, there you are.
Yes.
I think we'd try to muddle our way through.
Major Nelson, would you kindly go over there and stand next to Major Healey.
Uh Uh, Jeannie, you and I have to march down the center aisle over here.
Now, try not to be nervous, sir.
That was so beautiful.
Mrs.
Bellows, will you please stop crying? [SOBBING.]
Oh Give me my handkerchief back.
All right, folks.
Let's continue.
Amanda.
You're first.
Over here.
Oh, uh, Jeannie, you come along with me.
Now, uh, let's see.
Here, Alfred? Right there, yes.
You ready, dear? Yes, I'm fine.
Mm-hm.
Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum, da-dum Where'd you go? Jeannie's bottle.
Yeah, well, you should've stayed there.
Boy, this is getting to be weird around here.
Now, Jeannie.
Left? Yes, left.
Left.
Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, da-dum My camera.
What happened to my camera? BELLOWS: Shh.
What happened to my camera? Dum, dum, da-dum Da, da-da Well, there you are, gentlemen.
Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum, da-dum Ooh! Dum Oh.
What the? MAN: What's going on here? [PEOPLE CHATTERING.]
MAN 2: What happened? MAN 3: I don't know.
BELLOWS: Well, fellas, can't you fix it while we Well, let's start again.
Now, wait I don't think it's gonna work.
I was never so frightened.
I just don't think it's gonna work.
An anti-photo phaser that destroys cameras automatically? [.]
Oh, well.
Uh, after all, gentlemen, uh, this room is normally used for top-secret conferences.
You couldn't expect NASA to To have any unauthorized photographs taken in here, could you, general? Uh, yes.
Yes, of course.
We're very careful about security here.
Why wasn't I told about this? I'll square it with you later.
You'd better.
Yeah, that's just swell.
But how are we supposed to take pictures of a wedding when our cameras keep exploding? A good question.
I'm glad you asked.
We don't have time for this rehearsal.
I'm sorry.
See, the wedding is in three hours, I have to do Jeannie's hair.
Darling, I'm sorry.
All right, Amanda.
Oh, uh, excuse me, gentlemen.
Did I miss anything? Uh, yes.
The anti-photo phaser kept, uh, exploding the cameras.
Will you go turn it off, please? Yes, sir.
Oh, uh, where is it, sir? Oh, Major Nelson will show you.
Oh.
Well, Tony, let's go and turn it off.
Now, don't worry, gentlemen.
NASA will make full restitution for your cameras.
You can have all the pictures you want.
Oh, uh let's say back here at 2:30.
Sounds good.
That's all right.
You know, general, really It seems to me that [DOORBELL RINGING.]
[.]
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Bellows.
I'd like to speak to Jeannie in private.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony.
It might be worse luck if he doesn't.
Fellas She's gonna see you at the altar, not before.
I'm very sorry.
Excuse me.
Ma'am.
Terribly sorry about that.
Oh.
[DOORBELL RINGING.]
Oh, well, he doesn't give up easily, does he? Well, perhaps if I explained to him.
No, you don't, my dear.
You are going to go in the kitchen and wait, and I will But Go ahead.
Major Nelson, really, if you keep interrupting Oh.
Whoa.
Whoa.
What is it? Oh, what is it? What is it? Yeah.
Oh, well, uh Uh Uh, Tony Tony's in the car.
He, uh I, uh Oh, forgot the studs for his shirt.
For heaven's sake, come in and get them.
The way things are going, I'll never get Jeannie ready.
Mrs.
Bellows! What? Oh, Mrs.
Bellows.
Uh, the, uh They're They're The studs are in the bedroom.
What, do you want me to help you get them? For heaven's sake.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Jeannie.
[.]
That's a closet.
Yeah.
That's a closet.
Too Too small for a bedroom.
Ha-ha.
Huh.
Studs weren't there anyway.
Major, you have been in this house a thousand times.
Now, I am losing my patience.
The bedroom is right behind us.
Fine, fine.
Both brown doors.
Oh.
Don't worry, Jeannie.
It was only It was only Major Healey.
See, your fiancé forgot his studs.
Oh, listen, I haven't told you.
I-I I want to thank you very much for letting me be your matron of honor.
I've been a bridesmaid many times, never a matron of honor.
I guess, always a bridesmaid, never a matron of honor, huh? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh, you know, your fiancé is really a wonderful man, and I'm sure you're both going to be very happy together.
But I tell you, I really hate to say this Tell you what.
I'm gonna put this cushion here.
It'll be easier for me to work.
Would you sit against the cushion? Now, let's see what we can do with that.
Well, getting back to Alfred, I mean, there are worse things than being stuffy and conservative.
Yes, Mrs.
Bellows.
That is true.
There must be something.
Some potion you can drink, some incantation.
There is nothing.
Genies simply cannot be photographed.
Oh, that's great.
I'll explain that to the photographers.
ROGER: Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Hey, you look great.
Little Little too much pancake.
Major Healey, she's a little uptight right now.
Yes, she does look a little stiff.
Oh, I found the, uh Found the studs.
They were in the closet after all.
Master.
I have it.
Watch.
Look.
[.]
I don't get it.
I can make the dummy look exactly like me.
It can be photographed.
You can marry it.
Forget it.
I can't marry a dummy.
It wouldn't be legal.
Oh.
I did not think of that.
That's it.
I'll insist on no photographs during the actual ceremony.
Oh, master, you are brilliant.
Jeannie, blink me out of here.
Yes, master.
[KISSES.]
Well, uh nice talking to you.
Uh, come on, Roge.
We're gonna be late.
Yeah! Coming.
Got your studs.
That was nice.
The studs were in your closet.
[.]
Uh, Major Healey.
Oh, Major Healey.
Listen.
How about getting me a good place to stand? I don't want to have to compete with those national magazines.
Well, maybe I can find you a place behind the flowers, but, uh, no No taking pictures during the ceremony.
Oh, I don't even have my camera.
Yeah? Well, what's that? Oh, this is my typewriter.
Well, no typing during the ceremony.
[.]
[WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYING.]
I'll bet you're proud of your son today, Mr.
and Mrs.
Nelson.
Oh, yes.
Oh, Jeannie's a beautiful girl.
Poor child.
She's absolutely rigid.
Oh.
I am watching my own wedding, and it is beautiful.
[SIGHS.]
[.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
Jeannie, what's the matter? Ooh.
Relax, Jeannie.
It's going beautifully.
Join hands, please.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman in holy wedlock.
If there is anyone who knows of any reason this marriage should not take place, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.
Uh, the ring.
Uh, the ring.
We don't have the ring.
We don't Roger, give me the ring.
Uh [TONY CLEARS THROAT.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
What ring? Ahem.
Not that ring.
No.
The [WHISPERS.]
Jeannie, Jeannie.
Get Jeannie.
J What are you talking about? Jeannie's right next to you.
Roger, Jeannie is behind the flowers in the back of the room.
Get her.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, yeah.
Get her.
Yeah, I get it now.
I get it.
Get her.
Yeah.
I knew something would happen.
I Just knew it.
Oh.
Oh.
I-It's all right.
It's all right.
[.]
ROGER: Je Jeannie.
What's? Snap out of it.
Jeannie, J Jeannie.
Psst.
[SNAPPING FINGERS.]
Jeannie, will you sn Snap out of it? Yes? This is the moment you've been waiting for all your life.
Now, will you get up there? Yes.
Yes.
Oh.
I forgot.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
We're ready now, Reverend.
All set.
[MOUTHING.]
Oh.
Thank you, dear.
I can hardly believe it.
Do you, Anthony Nelson, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? I do.
I do.
[.]
[MOUTHING.]
Oh, yes.
I do.
I do.
Do you promise to be true and a faithful husband, to care for her in sickness and in health, adversity and prosperity, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only for her as long as you live? I do.
Do you, Jeannie, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? Oh.
I do.
[.]
[MOUTHING.]
Oh, yes.
Of course I do.
I do, I do.
REVEREND: Do you promise to be a true and faithful wife? [MOUTHING.]
I do.
To care for him in sickness and in health, prosperity and adversity, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only for him as long as you live? Oh, yes, I do.
You may place the ring on her finger.
[.]
[MOUTHING.]
Oh.
Oh.
REVEREND: Then by the power vested in me by the laws of this state, I now pronounce you man and wife.
[SNIFFLES.]
Oh.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
You may kiss the bride.
[.]
[UPBEAT WEDDING MARCH PLAYING.]
There's a photographer taking pictures.
Oh.
How nice.
[BOTH GIGGLING.]
[MENDELSSOHN'S "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
[.]
[JEANNIE GIGGLING.]
Ha.
Oh, master.
I mean, husband.
It is too funny.
[GIGGLES.]
Yes.
Heh.
It wouldn't be if Dr.
Bellows had seen it.
Hm.
[LAUGHS.]
[.]
Alfred, what is that? What is that? I thought we were gonna see Major Nelson's wedding.
What is that? It's the most peculiar I I don't understand it.
I had that film developed myself.
Let me see.
Major Nelson and Major Healey came by, we talked for a few minutes, and then You talked for a few minutes, and then you took the wrong film home.
Oh, Alfred, you're brilliant.
Just brilliant.
I'm going to bed.
I am exhausted.
I have had a day.
But, it couldn't have been.
I'll be right in.
Now, let me see.
REVEREND: You may kiss the bride.
There's a photographer taking pictures.
JEANNIE: Oh, how nice.
Yeah.
Isn't it? I I guess we didn't get married after all.
I mean, there's nobody there.
Oh, yes we did.
And I have the ring to prove it.
[.]
[.]
Oh, master.
I cannot believe that we are really going to be married.
It is like a dream.
No, it's not a dream, Jeannie.
It's really happening.
Mm-hm.
Would you do something for me? Yeah, sure.
What? Would you say "Mrs.
Anthony Nelson"? Mrs.
Anthony Nelson.
Ooh.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, that is so beautiful I cannot stand it.
Yeah.
Hey, listen, you gotta change.
We don't wanna be late for the rehearsal.
Oh.
Oh.
Ah.
Are you all right? I I will hurry.
[.]
BELLOWS: Did you order any more azaleas? [PEOPLE CHATTERING.]
MAN: Please.
Please, everybody.
We must get started with this rehearsal.
Now, I've got a baptism at 11 and a funeral at noon.
Everything's gonna be all right, Reverend.
Well, now, is everybody here? Well The bride, the groom, the best man Oh.
Where is Major Healey, Anthony? Well, he knew this thing was gonna be at 10:00.
Well, uh, keep calm, everyone.
Don't worry.
I'll find him.
Oh, excuse me.
Matron of honor? Oh yes, that's me.
I'm here.
The father of the bride? Oh, uh, Dr.
Bellows is gonna give the bride away, sir.
Well, is he here then? Oh, well, he just went to get the best man.
Major Nelson, babies get cold if they're kept waiting.
All national magazines, major? Well, that's marvelous.
We're all here now, Reverend.
Finally.
Now, then, Major Healey is the best man.
Uh, Major Healey.
I can't figure this out.
You know, I took this picture about an hour ago.
Yeah.
Well, it's supposed to be of the bride and groom, but, uh Well, the bride didn't come out.
Uh, let me see that.
That's peculiar.
We The purse is there, but no Jeannie.
Uh, may I see that, sir? Oh, yes.
JEANNIE [QUIETLY.]
: Genies cannot be photographed.
[LAUGHING.]
Well Major Nelson.
What are you doing? It wasn't a very good liking, sir.
[.]
[.]
No pictures? What are you gonna show your grandchildren? Shh.
Roger.
She doesn't photograph.
She doesn't photograph? You mean she's not photogenic? That's a heck of a thing to say at your wedding.
No.
She just doesn't come out.
You saw that picture.
That is right, Major Healey.
It is one of the few disadvantages of being a genie.
Oh, what am I gonna tell the reporters and photographers? You're not telling 'em.
I'm gonna tell 'em.
No photographers and that's it.
Now, let's get this rehearsal over with.
Oh.
Hi.
Uh, Major Healey.
No pictures, no pictures.
No pictures? Well, you can take one of me later in my uniform.
[STAMMERS.]
[.]
And now, folks, if I may have your Dr.
Bellows.
Why are you shouting? We're the only ones here.
Oh, yes.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Uh, the Reverend Weems, uh, asked me to tell you that he had to leave to perform the baptism.
And he asked me, uh, to take over the rehearsal.
Uh, now.
Amanda, you just stand right where you are.
'Course I'll stay right here.
This is where he told me to stand.
Amanda, what's the matter? [SNIFFLES.]
Nothing's the matter with me? I always cry at weddings.
But this isn't the wedding.
It's only a rehearsal.
May Maybe she's rehearsing her crying.
But, it's rather ridiculous Well, there you are.
You can have all the rehearsal shots you could want.
Oh, uh Uh, sir.
The photographers Hold it just like that.
[SCREAMING.]
Major Nelson.
It's a camera, not a shotgun.
These gentlemen are from the national magazines.
No, no, no.
Why can't we have a little? Please, no one [SCREAMS.]
Uh.
Could I have that, please? Thank you.
Can I speak to you, sir? No, no.
No No photograph.
But I insist on it.
Yes.
Sir.
Uh, uh No photographers, please.
Please, no photographers.
We We made an agreement.
Major Nelson, Jeannie, you're both obviously upset.
Now, l-let's have it.
It's the photographers, sir.
We don't want any.
We don't want any pictures taken at all.
No.
That is right, general.
I I-I am camera shy.
Yeah.
Oh, Jeannie, I I understand how you feel.
Believe me.
You'd like a simple, intimate wedding.
But an astronaut is a public figure, and the press is entitled to cover this marriage.
Sir, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to insist.
It's a personal matter.
Major.
It's out of my hands.
Major Healey cleared these people with the Pentagon, and they'd scream blue murder if I tried to throw them out.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to make the best of it.
Oh, sorry.
No pictures.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, master, what are we going to do? I'd like to elope.
That is an excellent idea.
Honey, wait a minute.
[CHATTER.]
[.]
Uh.
Jeannie.
What are you doing? We're eloping, master, just as you said.
It will only take me a minute to pack.
Wait a minute.
I said I might like to elope.
I I We can't.
It's too late.
But everyone is so busy.
[SOBBING.]
And they are all nervous.
And you're worried about photographers.
And this is all wrong.
Hey, hey.
Wait.
Wait a minute.
No sense in crying about it.
Come here.
What's all this? You don't have to cry.
Yes, I do.
Oh, look, I know exactly how you feel.
You do? Of course I do.
Uh, you've got what they call, um, pre-wedding jitters.
That's all.
Ev It's indigenous to brides.
It's kind of a tradition.
But I wanted our wedding to be so beautiful and simple.
Beautiful? Oh, sure.
But simple, darling, never.
You see, the trouble with weddings is, the The bride and groom don't count.
Well then it's why we should elope.
So we can go someplace where we can be alone.
Aw.
We're gonna have the rest of our lives alone together.
Now, let's just figure today, that's for everybody else.
All our friends and relations will come and wish us luck.
Give us their congratulations and their confidence.
And after all, how would Roger, and Dr.
and Mrs.
Bellows feel if we just ran off? [.]
[GASPS.]
Oh, that is exactly what we have done.
They must be looking all over for us.
Let 'em look a little longer.
It won't hurt 'em.
This is much more important.
You see, I don't care where I marry you.
A parachute.
Madison Square Garden.
Or Westminster Abby.
Because I love you.
You believe that? Oh, yes, master, I do.
Mm.
Don't call me master.
Call me Tony.
Yes, An Anthony.
I I do.
All right.
You remember that "I do" for the ceremony.
It'll really come in handy.
Shall we get on with the wedding? [GIDDILY.]
Oh, yes.
Darling, yes.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know, you were right.
It could've been a lot worse.
Yeah? How? Well my mother could've decided to come.
Oh.
Master.
What? What about the photographers? You'll just have to blink the cameras.
Blink the cameras.
I can't find them anywhere.
We'll have to go along without them.
Amanda, can't you look over Sir, uh, can we get along with the rehearsal? Uh, Jeannie's Oh, there you are.
Yes.
I think we'd try to muddle our way through.
Major Nelson, would you kindly go over there and stand next to Major Healey.
Uh Uh, Jeannie, you and I have to march down the center aisle over here.
Now, try not to be nervous, sir.
That was so beautiful.
Mrs.
Bellows, will you please stop crying? [SOBBING.]
Oh Give me my handkerchief back.
All right, folks.
Let's continue.
Amanda.
You're first.
Over here.
Oh, uh, Jeannie, you come along with me.
Now, uh, let's see.
Here, Alfred? Right there, yes.
You ready, dear? Yes, I'm fine.
Mm-hm.
Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum, da-dum Where'd you go? Jeannie's bottle.
Yeah, well, you should've stayed there.
Boy, this is getting to be weird around here.
Now, Jeannie.
Left? Yes, left.
Left.
Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, da-dum My camera.
What happened to my camera? BELLOWS: Shh.
What happened to my camera? Dum, dum, da-dum Da, da-da Well, there you are, gentlemen.
Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum, da-dum Ooh! Dum Oh.
What the? MAN: What's going on here? [PEOPLE CHATTERING.]
MAN 2: What happened? MAN 3: I don't know.
BELLOWS: Well, fellas, can't you fix it while we Well, let's start again.
Now, wait I don't think it's gonna work.
I was never so frightened.
I just don't think it's gonna work.
An anti-photo phaser that destroys cameras automatically? [.]
Oh, well.
Uh, after all, gentlemen, uh, this room is normally used for top-secret conferences.
You couldn't expect NASA to To have any unauthorized photographs taken in here, could you, general? Uh, yes.
Yes, of course.
We're very careful about security here.
Why wasn't I told about this? I'll square it with you later.
You'd better.
Yeah, that's just swell.
But how are we supposed to take pictures of a wedding when our cameras keep exploding? A good question.
I'm glad you asked.
We don't have time for this rehearsal.
I'm sorry.
See, the wedding is in three hours, I have to do Jeannie's hair.
Darling, I'm sorry.
All right, Amanda.
Oh, uh, excuse me, gentlemen.
Did I miss anything? Uh, yes.
The anti-photo phaser kept, uh, exploding the cameras.
Will you go turn it off, please? Yes, sir.
Oh, uh, where is it, sir? Oh, Major Nelson will show you.
Oh.
Well, Tony, let's go and turn it off.
Now, don't worry, gentlemen.
NASA will make full restitution for your cameras.
You can have all the pictures you want.
Oh, uh let's say back here at 2:30.
Sounds good.
That's all right.
You know, general, really It seems to me that [DOORBELL RINGING.]
[.]
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Bellows.
I'd like to speak to Jeannie in private.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony.
It might be worse luck if he doesn't.
Fellas She's gonna see you at the altar, not before.
I'm very sorry.
Excuse me.
Ma'am.
Terribly sorry about that.
Oh.
[DOORBELL RINGING.]
Oh, well, he doesn't give up easily, does he? Well, perhaps if I explained to him.
No, you don't, my dear.
You are going to go in the kitchen and wait, and I will But Go ahead.
Major Nelson, really, if you keep interrupting Oh.
Whoa.
Whoa.
What is it? Oh, what is it? What is it? Yeah.
Oh, well, uh Uh Uh, Tony Tony's in the car.
He, uh I, uh Oh, forgot the studs for his shirt.
For heaven's sake, come in and get them.
The way things are going, I'll never get Jeannie ready.
Mrs.
Bellows! What? Oh, Mrs.
Bellows.
Uh, the, uh They're They're The studs are in the bedroom.
What, do you want me to help you get them? For heaven's sake.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Jeannie.
[.]
That's a closet.
Yeah.
That's a closet.
Too Too small for a bedroom.
Ha-ha.
Huh.
Studs weren't there anyway.
Major, you have been in this house a thousand times.
Now, I am losing my patience.
The bedroom is right behind us.
Fine, fine.
Both brown doors.
Oh.
Don't worry, Jeannie.
It was only It was only Major Healey.
See, your fiancé forgot his studs.
Oh, listen, I haven't told you.
I-I I want to thank you very much for letting me be your matron of honor.
I've been a bridesmaid many times, never a matron of honor.
I guess, always a bridesmaid, never a matron of honor, huh? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh, you know, your fiancé is really a wonderful man, and I'm sure you're both going to be very happy together.
But I tell you, I really hate to say this Tell you what.
I'm gonna put this cushion here.
It'll be easier for me to work.
Would you sit against the cushion? Now, let's see what we can do with that.
Well, getting back to Alfred, I mean, there are worse things than being stuffy and conservative.
Yes, Mrs.
Bellows.
That is true.
There must be something.
Some potion you can drink, some incantation.
There is nothing.
Genies simply cannot be photographed.
Oh, that's great.
I'll explain that to the photographers.
ROGER: Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Hey, you look great.
Little Little too much pancake.
Major Healey, she's a little uptight right now.
Yes, she does look a little stiff.
Oh, I found the, uh Found the studs.
They were in the closet after all.
Master.
I have it.
Watch.
Look.
[.]
I don't get it.
I can make the dummy look exactly like me.
It can be photographed.
You can marry it.
Forget it.
I can't marry a dummy.
It wouldn't be legal.
Oh.
I did not think of that.
That's it.
I'll insist on no photographs during the actual ceremony.
Oh, master, you are brilliant.
Jeannie, blink me out of here.
Yes, master.
[KISSES.]
Well, uh nice talking to you.
Uh, come on, Roge.
We're gonna be late.
Yeah! Coming.
Got your studs.
That was nice.
The studs were in your closet.
[.]
Uh, Major Healey.
Oh, Major Healey.
Listen.
How about getting me a good place to stand? I don't want to have to compete with those national magazines.
Well, maybe I can find you a place behind the flowers, but, uh, no No taking pictures during the ceremony.
Oh, I don't even have my camera.
Yeah? Well, what's that? Oh, this is my typewriter.
Well, no typing during the ceremony.
[.]
[WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYING.]
I'll bet you're proud of your son today, Mr.
and Mrs.
Nelson.
Oh, yes.
Oh, Jeannie's a beautiful girl.
Poor child.
She's absolutely rigid.
Oh.
I am watching my own wedding, and it is beautiful.
[SIGHS.]
[.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
Jeannie, what's the matter? Ooh.
Relax, Jeannie.
It's going beautifully.
Join hands, please.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman in holy wedlock.
If there is anyone who knows of any reason this marriage should not take place, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.
Uh, the ring.
Uh, the ring.
We don't have the ring.
We don't Roger, give me the ring.
Uh [TONY CLEARS THROAT.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
What ring? Ahem.
Not that ring.
No.
The [WHISPERS.]
Jeannie, Jeannie.
Get Jeannie.
J What are you talking about? Jeannie's right next to you.
Roger, Jeannie is behind the flowers in the back of the room.
Get her.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, yeah.
Get her.
Yeah, I get it now.
I get it.
Get her.
Yeah.
I knew something would happen.
I Just knew it.
Oh.
Oh.
I-It's all right.
It's all right.
[.]
ROGER: Je Jeannie.
What's? Snap out of it.
Jeannie, J Jeannie.
Psst.
[SNAPPING FINGERS.]
Jeannie, will you sn Snap out of it? Yes? This is the moment you've been waiting for all your life.
Now, will you get up there? Yes.
Yes.
Oh.
I forgot.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
We're ready now, Reverend.
All set.
[MOUTHING.]
Oh.
Thank you, dear.
I can hardly believe it.
Do you, Anthony Nelson, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? I do.
I do.
[.]
[MOUTHING.]
Oh, yes.
I do.
I do.
Do you promise to be true and a faithful husband, to care for her in sickness and in health, adversity and prosperity, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only for her as long as you live? I do.
Do you, Jeannie, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? Oh.
I do.
[.]
[MOUTHING.]
Oh, yes.
Of course I do.
I do, I do.
REVEREND: Do you promise to be a true and faithful wife? [MOUTHING.]
I do.
To care for him in sickness and in health, prosperity and adversity, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only for him as long as you live? Oh, yes, I do.
You may place the ring on her finger.
[.]
[MOUTHING.]
Oh.
Oh.
REVEREND: Then by the power vested in me by the laws of this state, I now pronounce you man and wife.
[SNIFFLES.]
Oh.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
You may kiss the bride.
[.]
[UPBEAT WEDDING MARCH PLAYING.]
There's a photographer taking pictures.
Oh.
How nice.
[BOTH GIGGLING.]
[MENDELSSOHN'S "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
[.]
[JEANNIE GIGGLING.]
Ha.
Oh, master.
I mean, husband.
It is too funny.
[GIGGLES.]
Yes.
Heh.
It wouldn't be if Dr.
Bellows had seen it.
Hm.
[LAUGHS.]
[.]
Alfred, what is that? What is that? I thought we were gonna see Major Nelson's wedding.
What is that? It's the most peculiar I I don't understand it.
I had that film developed myself.
Let me see.
Major Nelson and Major Healey came by, we talked for a few minutes, and then You talked for a few minutes, and then you took the wrong film home.
Oh, Alfred, you're brilliant.
Just brilliant.
I'm going to bed.
I am exhausted.
I have had a day.
But, it couldn't have been.
I'll be right in.
Now, let me see.
REVEREND: You may kiss the bride.
There's a photographer taking pictures.
JEANNIE: Oh, how nice.
Yeah.
Isn't it? I I guess we didn't get married after all.
I mean, there's nobody there.
Oh, yes we did.
And I have the ring to prove it.
[.]
[.]