I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s05e18 Episode Script
Mrs. Djinn Djinn
[.]
[SINGING IN FOREIGN DIALECT.]
[DOG BARKING.]
[GASPS.]
[CLOTHES RIPPING.]
Djinn-Djinn, is that you? You stop it this instant, you naughty dog.
[DOG WHIMPERS.]
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, you adorable little puppy, I am so happy to see you.
But you will not be able to stay if you insist on attacking my master's uniforms.
Djinn-Djinn, where? [BARKS.]
[GASPS.]
Oh! Djinn-Djinn, what is the matter? Are you attacking me now? [PHONE RINGING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Djinn-Djinn.
Stop it.
Hello.
[BARKING.]
Oh, hello, darling? Hi, uh, I forgot that file I was working on last night and I was wondering if you'd? Oh, oh, oh, yes, of course, master.
It is in the bedroom.
I-I will blink it to you.
No, no.
No, no.
Don't blink it to me.
I'm in the conference room.
Uh, I just wanted to tell you Roger's gonna be by and pick it up in a few minutes.
[DOG BARKS.]
Uh, what's that noise? Oh.
Heh.
Oh, well, it, uh It is a friend who Who dropped by to say hello to me.
A friend? What do you mean "a friend"? Uh, major, excuse me, is that, uh, Jeannie? I'd like to talk to her.
Jeannie, this is Dr.
Bellows.
I just wanted to tell you that your dinner the other night was marvelous.
[BARKING.]
Uh, uh, Jeannie, I-I know who the friend is and I want him out of the house by the time I get home, huh? And hide my uniforms.
But master, he is a sweet No.
That's final.
[DOG WHIMPERING.]
[SIGHS.]
What's the matter with Jeannie? She positively barked at me.
She's not feeling very well right now, sir.
Shall we get on with our business? Djinn-Djinn, I am sorry, darling puppy, but I am afraid you are going to have to go home.
Djinn-Djinn, I am talking to you.
What is it, Djinn-Djinn? [BARKING.]
What is the matter, Djinn-Djinn? Do you wanna go in the bedroom? Okay.
Let's go.
[GROWLS.]
Oh, I do not understand.
What? Oh, Djinn-Djinn, how marvelous.
You are going to be a father.
[.]
[.]
Just dog vitamins and that is all? Oh, thank you, doctor.
Thank you very much.
Oh, no, no, no.
Please do not bother.
I shall get them myself.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
[GIGGLING.]
These are for you.
Now, let me see.
Oh, that box will never do.
There, that will do for a start.
Yes, Mommy.
Now, let me see.
What else? Ah.
There we are, blankets.
Come, Djinn-Djinn.
I think we should let the expectant mother get some rest, hm? Okay.
[.]
There you are, Djinn-Djinn.
Well, expectant fathers must keep up their strength too.
Hm.
Oh, Anthony will be so pleased.
I hope.
Jeannie, you home? Oh, come in, Major Healy.
[SIGHS.]
Major Healy.
Oh, did, uh, Tony call about the file? File? Yeah, file.
Oh.
Oh, oh, y Yes.
It is in the bedroom.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
On the table.
Right.
Oh, I am worrying for nothing.
Anthony could not possibly turn out an expectant mother.
[WHISTLING.]
Hm.
Pretty.
[HUMMING.]
"Vitamins for Pregnancy.
" Oh.
Vit [CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
I'm gonna be an uncle.
I'm gonna be an uncle.
Oh, that Jeannie.
Ho.
Did you see? Oh, did I see.
Oh, congratulations.
I'm so happy for you.
Oh, thank you.
It is wonderful, is it not? Oh, wonderful.
It's the most exciting news I ever heard in my whole life.
When's it gonna happen? Well, I'm not sure, exactly.
Yeah, well, if there's anything old Roge can do, be sure to just Just ask me.
Oh, how about that guy? Sly old dog.
Oh, ho, ho.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Well, Djinn-Djinn is not so old.
Now, before we go any further, gentlemen, I've had a request from the public relations people.
They'd like us to give this project a name.
Isn't that a little premature, sir? No, no, they want to start briefing the news agencies on what we're planning.
Now, uh, ahem, any suggestions? Well? I have one.
Since this is to be the most far-ranging of our probes, how about calling it "Operation Pluto"? I think that's very appropriate, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you, major.
Ahem.
I've, uh Heh.
I've always had a flair for names.
Psst.
Oh, thanks, Roge.
That's okay, "Dad.
" Huh? Dad, Daddy, Da-Da.
Frankly, I'm partial to Da-Da.
What are you talking about, Roge? Have you decided on a name yet? Mm, yeah, were gonna call it Pluto.
"Pluto Nelson.
" Yeah.
Well, it's different.
TONY: Uh, here you are, sir, I wish you'd, uh Would you hand those out? Gladly, major.
Thank you.
Uh, would you mind explaining yourself, Roge? You wanna make the announcement now? What are you talking about? You know: You, the baby and Jeannie.
Heh.
What? Yeah.
Uh, sir, would you excuse me just a moment, please? I have a kind of a personal matter.
Dr.
Bellows, when did Major Nelson have his last checkup? Two weeks ago, sir, and I'm beginning to believe he's due for another one.
Sir, may I have permission to be excused, please? Permission denied.
I wanna talk to you.
Sir, all the information is in the fathers Files.
Files.
[CRASHES.]
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY.]
[.]
Major Healy, for heaven's sake, would you kindly tell me what you've just told Major Nelson? Sorry, sir.
Oh, nothing, sir.
Actually I think he would rather tell you himself.
Dr.
Bellows, are you sure Major Nelson's in condition to handle Pluto? About that name, sir, don't you think a more appropriate name would be James or Tom or? Or maybe even Seymour? Major Healy, the United States is not sending out a space probe called "Operation Seymour.
" Haw about "Irving"? Jeannie? Darling? Darling? Oh.
There is Anthony.
Now, you two stay here, uh, until I explain everything.
All right? Stay.
Jeannie.
Hello, master.
Hello, darling.
How are you feeling? Are you well? Are you all right? Oh, I'm feeling just fine.
But there is something I wish to talk to you about.
I know, I know.
That's why I brought you these.
Oh, they are beautiful.
Thank you, darling.
Oh, you're so beautiful.
I I guess it's true what they say about women.
They're so beautiful when Did you say you knew? Yes, Roger told me.
Oh, and you're not angry? Angry? Oh, I'm the happiest man in the world.
Oh, well, I am so relieved.
Ha, ha.
Do you want me to get you something? Get you something to eat or drink or anything? Well, I-I was going to blink up some dog biscuits.
Dog biscuits? Mm.
I-I thought you'd want some pickles or ice cream or something.
Ice cream and pickles.
[CHUCKLES.]
Master, there is something I must tell you.
Oh, and I can't wait to hear it from your sweet little lips.
Tell me.
Go ahead.
A baby! A dog? A baby! Oh, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn is going to have puppies.
Yeah, not in my house, she's not gonna have them.
Master! Darling, I have enough trouble with one lunatic mongrel around shredding all my uniforms.
Where'd he go? [GROWLING, CLOTHES RIPPING.]
My uniforms.
My uniforms! Do something! Oh.
Oh, everything is all right now, master.
It is not all right.
It's not even beginning to be all right.
I-I-I can't have two magical mutts in this house.
Wait a minute, uh, she is magical, isn't she? Forget I asked.
Master, I cannot believe that you would send an expectant mother out into the cold, cruel snow.
It is not snowing.
It will be if you send her out.
Now, Jeannie.
Now, look, I-I am not a heartless monster.
I like animals.
I like 'em a lot.
But I can't afford to have two of these things around.
Just think: Warm, cuddly, darling little puppies.
And magic.
Squiggly, wiggly little puppies.
Magic puppies.
Oh, puppies.
Oh, when I think of eight or 10 magic puppies, I can't believe it.
Puppies.
[.]
Hi, anybody home? Uncle Roger's here.
"Uncle Roger.
" Ha, ha, ha.
Is he in for a surprise.
Finish it, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn.
Remember, you are eating for two.
Ha, ha.
Or four.
Or eight? Hi, Roge, what you got? Yeah.
Present for the little mother.
Where is she? In the kitchen, eating her horse meat.
Oh.
Horse meat? Horse meat? Boy, I've heard of cravings, but horse meat? Whew.
Roger, I don't want to disappoint you, but we're not having a baby.
You're not? No.
No, we are having puppies.
Puppies? No wonder you kept it a secret.
No, Djinn-Djinn.
Djinn-Djinn? Oh, he really is magic.
Oh, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn.
Is it not wonderful? Yeah, wonderful.
Well, I, uh, hope she likes chocolate-covered cherries.
Roger, nobody's to know about this.
Uh, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn is just as magic as Mr.
Djinn-Djinn.
Mum's the word then.
The thing is there's some blabbermouth [DOORBELL RINGS.]
I'll get it, I'll get it.
You go in the kitchen with the dogs.
I didn't say anything, but Huh? See, somebody at the office Oh, major, congratulations, We just found out.
I think it's wonderful.
Mrs.
Bellows, I I Oh, don't call me Mrs.
Bellows.
Call me Auntie Amanda.
Oh, I just love the sound of that.
Well, the only one who's allowed to call me Uncle Alfred is the little one, uh, when he or she arrives.
How about "Uncle Ruff.
" [LAUGHS.]
I-I think there's been a little misunderstanding.
Oh, Alfred, how adorable.
Aw.
Uh, uh, Mrs.
Bellows.
How about "Uncle Bark"? Oh, marvelous.
Yeah, Mrs.
Bellows, we're not having a baby.
This is This stuff is just a gift for our friend.
Hello, what's this? Well.
Ha-ha.
"For pregnancy, one tablet a day.
" Are these for a friend too, major? Yes.
Major, I'm afraid your secret's out and were all very happy.
Uh, Mrs.
Bellows, it's not what you think.
Really.
Where's Jeannie? We'd like to congratulate her too.
Oh, she's in the kitchen, Dr.
Bellows.
Roger! Uh, Jeannie, the Bellows are coming.
I mean, they're here.
Oh, well, Dr.
and Mrs.
Bellows, how nice of you to drop by.
Jeannie, you look marvelous.
Positively radiant.
Well, heh, I do? Uh, Roger, what if Mrs.
Bellows and Dr.
Bellows see those two? Don't ask me to get rid of the dogs.
What do you mean, don't ask you? I mean, don't ask me.
Hey.
Hey, they're here.
Help me get rid of 'em, will you? Yeah.
One of them's gone already.
Where'd he go? Djinn-Djinn? [RIPPING.]
Oh.
Huh? The uniforms! Go! Hurry! [RIPPING.]
Whoa, whoa! [DOG GROWLING.]
Shh-shh! You don't have anything to worry about, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn.
Would you mind just? Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn? Well, at least you don't have anything about uniforms, huh? [DOG GROWLING.]
Waagh! Ah! [CLOTHES RIPPING.]
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY.]
Aagh! What on earth was all that racket? [DOG BARKING, GROWLING.]
[SHRIEKING, RIPPING.]
[SIGHS.]
Uh, the neighbors.
The neighbors.
Hm? They They are very noisy.
Dr.
Bellows, Mrs.
Bellows, please, you must believe me.
Oh, Jeannie we will believe anything you want us to believe.
Now, Jeannie, you drink plenty of fluids and stay off your feet.
Yes, and say goodbye to Major Nelson and Major Healey for us, won't you? Oh, certainly.
Come, Alfred.
Hm.
My feet? [BOTH SCREAMING.]
[CLOTHES RIPPING.]
TONY: Jeannie! Jeannie, help us, please! What's going on? Master.
You should not play with Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn like that.
She should not exert herself.
Who's playing with Djinn-Djinn? Playing? I had her horse meat.
That's why she was having a panic or something.
And him with the uniforms.
Alfred, what? What do you think? Perfectly common first-child syndrome.
It's such a big event in their lives, they don't know quite how to handle it.
Alfred, of course.
Like when you proposed to me and then made me promise not to tell anybody about it.
Amanda.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh.
Alfred, I've got a marvelous idea.
Why don't we throw them a surprise baby shower? Then that way they'll know that all their friends want to help.
You know, Amanda, sometimes you're positively brilliant.
We'll invite the whole base.
Okay.
[.]
Extraordinary, isn't it? Here, the man has been to the moon and back and yet he's afraid of a perfectly normal thing like having a baby.
I assure you, general, it's quite typical.
Well, now, I'll tell you, I think this surprise baby shower is just the thing.
You know, it'll give him confidence.
Well, it wouldn't a bad thing for the space program either.
Put some heart into it.
Uh, be sure the public relations people are there.
Excellent idea, sir.
Excellent.
All right, now, let's see.
We have Commander Spencer and Major Eastlake, and of course, the Johnsons.
Oh, and we won't tell Major Healey until the very last minute.
Oh, he's so close to Major Nelson he's sure to spill the beans.
Uh, get some of the congressmen from the appropriations committee.
One thing they can't say no to is motherhood.
[CHUCKLES.]
Goodbye, husband.
Goodbye.
Have a good day.
Any idea how soon? Not yet.
But I do not think it is very far off.
She is very listless.
You call me if anything happens.
Oh, I will.
Okay.
[.]
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY.]
There.
Amazing, general.
Heh-heh-heh.
Well, I didn't major in physics for nothing.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
Quick, everybody, Major Nelson's coming.
Hide.
Hide the BELLOWS: Hurry, hurry.
Come on.
[.]
Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen, I didn't know you were having a meeting.
Oh, that's quite all right, major.
We were just, uh Just Uh-uh-uh, just discussing the, uh The moisture condensation control filter of the new KR3 space helmet.
Oh.
I do not know what is wrong with Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn, master.
She has not eaten a thing all day.
Yeah, well, I think I know what's the matter.
I'll bet you by tonight we hear the pitter-patter of little paws, huh? Oh, master.
Hm-hm.
You know, if the way you've taken care of Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn is any indication, one of these days you're gonna make a great mother.
You mean I will have puppies too? [SIGHS.]
Our rendezvous will be at 1840 hours around the corner under the elm trees.
Oh, uh, by the way, has anybody briefed Major Healy? Oh, there's no need, sir.
He'll be there for dinner anyway, Good, he can be surprised too then.
Uh, Lieutenant Hoffman, you all set? Uh, yes, sir.
Gentleman, the first wave of shower guests will hit the doorstep at 1900 hours sharp.
Now, synchronize watches.
Boy, I can't take much more of this.
When? When do you think it'll happen? How should I know? I never had puppies before.
[DOG BARKING.]
Oh, I think it's happening.
What's going on? Not yet.
Hey, maybe we better get a vet, huh? Oh, great idea.
"Uh, doctor, this is Mr.
and Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn.
They're genie dogs from Baghdad.
" Well, I could call in Louis Pasteur or Florence Nightingale.
Yeah, well if they're vets, maybe we better call 'em.
[DOG BARKING.]
Oh, Djinn-Djinn, do not worry.
Everything will be all right.
[WHINES.]
I will be right back.
Boy, I've I've never had a dog before.
Shhhh.
[WHISPERING.]
All systems go.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Go! [RINGS DOORBELL.]
ALL: Surprise! [ALL LAUGHING.]
Surprise.
Are you surprised, major? Oh, you might say that, yes, sir.
Well, uh, wh? What's this all about? It's a baby shower, old father-to-be.
A shower, oh.
Yeah.
BELLOWS: Well Hey, Jeannie, you're gonna have a baby shower.
Not now, Now now, Major Healy.
Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn is going to have her puppies.
Thank you very much.
I can't tell you how we appreciate Oh, don't thank us, major.
We're a team at NASA.
All for one, and one for all.
Oh, now tell me where is the darling mother-to-be? BELLOWS: In the kitchen washing dishes.
No, no, not in the kitchen.
Oh, I bet we caught her with her oldest dress on.
She's in the bedroom changing.
Well, tell her to take her time.
I'll tell her.
I'll tell her.
Just a minute, major.
Hoffman, get over here with your camera.
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
It's good for the morale of the base.
Yeah.
Left side, Hoffman.
[DOG WHIMPERING.]
Uh-oh.
What's the matter? I think it is time, Major Healy.
What do you want me to do? Uh, more hot towels, quickly.
More hot towels.
Where's Djinn-Djinn? Djinn-Djinn? Oh, I think he's fainted.
Mm? [GASPS.]
ALL: For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow No, please.
Which nobody can deny Speech! Speech! Thank you.
Just a moment, please.
Jeannie and I both appreciate what you've all done.
And And And believe me, if it were true, I'd be the happiest man in the world.
But right now, positively, absolutely, and I swear to this as a United States Air Force officer, that w-we're not gonna have a baby.
[LAUGHTER.]
No! Oh, hey, it's time.
It's time.
It's time.
Jeannie says it's time.
Boil some water.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
For what? It's all right.
It's not what you think, sir.
It couldn't be time.
She doesn't even show.
Don't worry, son, we can handle it.
If they need boiling water, it's too late for an ambulance.
Call a doctor.
No, no.
Yes, call a doctor.
Yes, call a doctor.
Alfred, you are a doctor.
Not that kind of a doctor.
I don't care what kind of a doctor you are, Alfred, go get your bag immediately.
I'm going to help Jeannie.
No, it's all right.
Roger's in there.
Major, what kind of a man are you? Your wife is in that kitchen having your baby.
Get out of my way! It's all right.
Roger's in there with her.
Roger isn't a doctor.
I know.
More hot towels.
More hot towels.
Ah.
[WHIMPERS.]
For heaven's sake, major, didn't you know your wife was this close? She's not, she's not.
Ah! Oh, it's a male, it's a male.
She just went into labor five minutes ago.
It's all right.
No, no, no, no.
You all stay right there.
Everything's under control.
There's no reason for anybody to get upset.
It's all right, Jeannie.
I'm coming.
No, it's all right.
Number two, a female.
Huh? Twins, already? BELLOWS: Jeannie, I'm coming.
It's all right, it's all right.
Roger's in there.
Do you realize that your wife is just having twins and there's no doctor in attendance? It's all right.
Triplets, triplets! Heh-heh.
Quads.
What's happening? It's all right.
I'd like to Listen, if you'll all be quiet, I can explain the whole thing.
You see the babies The babies are beautiful, all six of them.
Six? Puppies? Puppies? Yes.
[YELPING.]
You mean, I bought a teddy bear for a dog shower? Thank you.
Where's Djinn-Djinn? Wait a minute, more hot towels.
What for? Your face.
All over your face.
I've never been through a thing like this in my life.
I'm excited.
Do you realize that there are uniforms out there? Don't worry about Djinn-Djinn.
He's so exhausted from being a father, he won't be able to pull off any magic.
Huh? Wait a minute, wait a minute.
The whole side.
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY.]
Beautiful.
Aw.
Mrs.
Bellows, are you all right? Hey.
Hey, look at that, he's acting like a regular dog.
I don't know what I've been through.
[GASPS.]
Oh, aren't they adorable? Oh, Jeannie, may I have one, please? Now, just a moment.
That's a great idea.
I'd like one too, Jeannie.
How about one for the base mascot? Oh Thank you very much.
Goodbye.
It was a nice thought.
Thank you.
I-I'll return those presents tomorrow.
Oh, darling, why do we not donate them to a children's hospital? Oh, yes.
That's a marvelous idea, Jeannie.
Be sure to send a public relations man along.
Yes.
All right.
Good night.
Good night.
And thanks again.
Here.
I forgot these.
Oh, sorry.
No more house calls.
Good night.
Good night.
Phew.
Ha-ha-ha.
Darling, look, a-about the puppies.
You can't give those people a puppy.
I mean, it's impossible.
Can you imagine what would happen? Oh, do not worry, darling.
It is all arranged.
Well, you'll just have to unarrange it.
Can you imagine what would happen if we populated Cocoa Beach with, uh, magic puppies? Now, let's see.
This one is for Uncle Azmire.
This one is for Aunt Melama.
This one is for cousin No, no, no, no.
That's Azmire, this is Melama.
Uh, Cousin Ali, Aunt Fatima.
And this one.
This one is for BOTH [IN UNISON.]
: Grandfather Ahkmed.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
He has your eyes.
[GIGGLES.]
[.]
[SINGING IN FOREIGN DIALECT.]
[DOG BARKING.]
[GASPS.]
[CLOTHES RIPPING.]
Djinn-Djinn, is that you? You stop it this instant, you naughty dog.
[DOG WHIMPERS.]
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, you adorable little puppy, I am so happy to see you.
But you will not be able to stay if you insist on attacking my master's uniforms.
Djinn-Djinn, where? [BARKS.]
[GASPS.]
Oh! Djinn-Djinn, what is the matter? Are you attacking me now? [PHONE RINGING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Djinn-Djinn.
Stop it.
Hello.
[BARKING.]
Oh, hello, darling? Hi, uh, I forgot that file I was working on last night and I was wondering if you'd? Oh, oh, oh, yes, of course, master.
It is in the bedroom.
I-I will blink it to you.
No, no.
No, no.
Don't blink it to me.
I'm in the conference room.
Uh, I just wanted to tell you Roger's gonna be by and pick it up in a few minutes.
[DOG BARKS.]
Uh, what's that noise? Oh.
Heh.
Oh, well, it, uh It is a friend who Who dropped by to say hello to me.
A friend? What do you mean "a friend"? Uh, major, excuse me, is that, uh, Jeannie? I'd like to talk to her.
Jeannie, this is Dr.
Bellows.
I just wanted to tell you that your dinner the other night was marvelous.
[BARKING.]
Uh, uh, Jeannie, I-I know who the friend is and I want him out of the house by the time I get home, huh? And hide my uniforms.
But master, he is a sweet No.
That's final.
[DOG WHIMPERING.]
[SIGHS.]
What's the matter with Jeannie? She positively barked at me.
She's not feeling very well right now, sir.
Shall we get on with our business? Djinn-Djinn, I am sorry, darling puppy, but I am afraid you are going to have to go home.
Djinn-Djinn, I am talking to you.
What is it, Djinn-Djinn? [BARKING.]
What is the matter, Djinn-Djinn? Do you wanna go in the bedroom? Okay.
Let's go.
[GROWLS.]
Oh, I do not understand.
What? Oh, Djinn-Djinn, how marvelous.
You are going to be a father.
[.]
[.]
Just dog vitamins and that is all? Oh, thank you, doctor.
Thank you very much.
Oh, no, no, no.
Please do not bother.
I shall get them myself.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
[GIGGLING.]
These are for you.
Now, let me see.
Oh, that box will never do.
There, that will do for a start.
Yes, Mommy.
Now, let me see.
What else? Ah.
There we are, blankets.
Come, Djinn-Djinn.
I think we should let the expectant mother get some rest, hm? Okay.
[.]
There you are, Djinn-Djinn.
Well, expectant fathers must keep up their strength too.
Hm.
Oh, Anthony will be so pleased.
I hope.
Jeannie, you home? Oh, come in, Major Healy.
[SIGHS.]
Major Healy.
Oh, did, uh, Tony call about the file? File? Yeah, file.
Oh.
Oh, oh, y Yes.
It is in the bedroom.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
On the table.
Right.
Oh, I am worrying for nothing.
Anthony could not possibly turn out an expectant mother.
[WHISTLING.]
Hm.
Pretty.
[HUMMING.]
"Vitamins for Pregnancy.
" Oh.
Vit [CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
I'm gonna be an uncle.
I'm gonna be an uncle.
Oh, that Jeannie.
Ho.
Did you see? Oh, did I see.
Oh, congratulations.
I'm so happy for you.
Oh, thank you.
It is wonderful, is it not? Oh, wonderful.
It's the most exciting news I ever heard in my whole life.
When's it gonna happen? Well, I'm not sure, exactly.
Yeah, well, if there's anything old Roge can do, be sure to just Just ask me.
Oh, how about that guy? Sly old dog.
Oh, ho, ho.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Well, Djinn-Djinn is not so old.
Now, before we go any further, gentlemen, I've had a request from the public relations people.
They'd like us to give this project a name.
Isn't that a little premature, sir? No, no, they want to start briefing the news agencies on what we're planning.
Now, uh, ahem, any suggestions? Well? I have one.
Since this is to be the most far-ranging of our probes, how about calling it "Operation Pluto"? I think that's very appropriate, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you, major.
Ahem.
I've, uh Heh.
I've always had a flair for names.
Psst.
Oh, thanks, Roge.
That's okay, "Dad.
" Huh? Dad, Daddy, Da-Da.
Frankly, I'm partial to Da-Da.
What are you talking about, Roge? Have you decided on a name yet? Mm, yeah, were gonna call it Pluto.
"Pluto Nelson.
" Yeah.
Well, it's different.
TONY: Uh, here you are, sir, I wish you'd, uh Would you hand those out? Gladly, major.
Thank you.
Uh, would you mind explaining yourself, Roge? You wanna make the announcement now? What are you talking about? You know: You, the baby and Jeannie.
Heh.
What? Yeah.
Uh, sir, would you excuse me just a moment, please? I have a kind of a personal matter.
Dr.
Bellows, when did Major Nelson have his last checkup? Two weeks ago, sir, and I'm beginning to believe he's due for another one.
Sir, may I have permission to be excused, please? Permission denied.
I wanna talk to you.
Sir, all the information is in the fathers Files.
Files.
[CRASHES.]
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY.]
[.]
Major Healy, for heaven's sake, would you kindly tell me what you've just told Major Nelson? Sorry, sir.
Oh, nothing, sir.
Actually I think he would rather tell you himself.
Dr.
Bellows, are you sure Major Nelson's in condition to handle Pluto? About that name, sir, don't you think a more appropriate name would be James or Tom or? Or maybe even Seymour? Major Healy, the United States is not sending out a space probe called "Operation Seymour.
" Haw about "Irving"? Jeannie? Darling? Darling? Oh.
There is Anthony.
Now, you two stay here, uh, until I explain everything.
All right? Stay.
Jeannie.
Hello, master.
Hello, darling.
How are you feeling? Are you well? Are you all right? Oh, I'm feeling just fine.
But there is something I wish to talk to you about.
I know, I know.
That's why I brought you these.
Oh, they are beautiful.
Thank you, darling.
Oh, you're so beautiful.
I I guess it's true what they say about women.
They're so beautiful when Did you say you knew? Yes, Roger told me.
Oh, and you're not angry? Angry? Oh, I'm the happiest man in the world.
Oh, well, I am so relieved.
Ha, ha.
Do you want me to get you something? Get you something to eat or drink or anything? Well, I-I was going to blink up some dog biscuits.
Dog biscuits? Mm.
I-I thought you'd want some pickles or ice cream or something.
Ice cream and pickles.
[CHUCKLES.]
Master, there is something I must tell you.
Oh, and I can't wait to hear it from your sweet little lips.
Tell me.
Go ahead.
A baby! A dog? A baby! Oh, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn is going to have puppies.
Yeah, not in my house, she's not gonna have them.
Master! Darling, I have enough trouble with one lunatic mongrel around shredding all my uniforms.
Where'd he go? [GROWLING, CLOTHES RIPPING.]
My uniforms.
My uniforms! Do something! Oh.
Oh, everything is all right now, master.
It is not all right.
It's not even beginning to be all right.
I-I-I can't have two magical mutts in this house.
Wait a minute, uh, she is magical, isn't she? Forget I asked.
Master, I cannot believe that you would send an expectant mother out into the cold, cruel snow.
It is not snowing.
It will be if you send her out.
Now, Jeannie.
Now, look, I-I am not a heartless monster.
I like animals.
I like 'em a lot.
But I can't afford to have two of these things around.
Just think: Warm, cuddly, darling little puppies.
And magic.
Squiggly, wiggly little puppies.
Magic puppies.
Oh, puppies.
Oh, when I think of eight or 10 magic puppies, I can't believe it.
Puppies.
[.]
Hi, anybody home? Uncle Roger's here.
"Uncle Roger.
" Ha, ha, ha.
Is he in for a surprise.
Finish it, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn.
Remember, you are eating for two.
Ha, ha.
Or four.
Or eight? Hi, Roge, what you got? Yeah.
Present for the little mother.
Where is she? In the kitchen, eating her horse meat.
Oh.
Horse meat? Horse meat? Boy, I've heard of cravings, but horse meat? Whew.
Roger, I don't want to disappoint you, but we're not having a baby.
You're not? No.
No, we are having puppies.
Puppies? No wonder you kept it a secret.
No, Djinn-Djinn.
Djinn-Djinn? Oh, he really is magic.
Oh, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn.
Is it not wonderful? Yeah, wonderful.
Well, I, uh, hope she likes chocolate-covered cherries.
Roger, nobody's to know about this.
Uh, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn is just as magic as Mr.
Djinn-Djinn.
Mum's the word then.
The thing is there's some blabbermouth [DOORBELL RINGS.]
I'll get it, I'll get it.
You go in the kitchen with the dogs.
I didn't say anything, but Huh? See, somebody at the office Oh, major, congratulations, We just found out.
I think it's wonderful.
Mrs.
Bellows, I I Oh, don't call me Mrs.
Bellows.
Call me Auntie Amanda.
Oh, I just love the sound of that.
Well, the only one who's allowed to call me Uncle Alfred is the little one, uh, when he or she arrives.
How about "Uncle Ruff.
" [LAUGHS.]
I-I think there's been a little misunderstanding.
Oh, Alfred, how adorable.
Aw.
Uh, uh, Mrs.
Bellows.
How about "Uncle Bark"? Oh, marvelous.
Yeah, Mrs.
Bellows, we're not having a baby.
This is This stuff is just a gift for our friend.
Hello, what's this? Well.
Ha-ha.
"For pregnancy, one tablet a day.
" Are these for a friend too, major? Yes.
Major, I'm afraid your secret's out and were all very happy.
Uh, Mrs.
Bellows, it's not what you think.
Really.
Where's Jeannie? We'd like to congratulate her too.
Oh, she's in the kitchen, Dr.
Bellows.
Roger! Uh, Jeannie, the Bellows are coming.
I mean, they're here.
Oh, well, Dr.
and Mrs.
Bellows, how nice of you to drop by.
Jeannie, you look marvelous.
Positively radiant.
Well, heh, I do? Uh, Roger, what if Mrs.
Bellows and Dr.
Bellows see those two? Don't ask me to get rid of the dogs.
What do you mean, don't ask you? I mean, don't ask me.
Hey.
Hey, they're here.
Help me get rid of 'em, will you? Yeah.
One of them's gone already.
Where'd he go? Djinn-Djinn? [RIPPING.]
Oh.
Huh? The uniforms! Go! Hurry! [RIPPING.]
Whoa, whoa! [DOG GROWLING.]
Shh-shh! You don't have anything to worry about, Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn.
Would you mind just? Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn? Well, at least you don't have anything about uniforms, huh? [DOG GROWLING.]
Waagh! Ah! [CLOTHES RIPPING.]
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY.]
Aagh! What on earth was all that racket? [DOG BARKING, GROWLING.]
[SHRIEKING, RIPPING.]
[SIGHS.]
Uh, the neighbors.
The neighbors.
Hm? They They are very noisy.
Dr.
Bellows, Mrs.
Bellows, please, you must believe me.
Oh, Jeannie we will believe anything you want us to believe.
Now, Jeannie, you drink plenty of fluids and stay off your feet.
Yes, and say goodbye to Major Nelson and Major Healey for us, won't you? Oh, certainly.
Come, Alfred.
Hm.
My feet? [BOTH SCREAMING.]
[CLOTHES RIPPING.]
TONY: Jeannie! Jeannie, help us, please! What's going on? Master.
You should not play with Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn like that.
She should not exert herself.
Who's playing with Djinn-Djinn? Playing? I had her horse meat.
That's why she was having a panic or something.
And him with the uniforms.
Alfred, what? What do you think? Perfectly common first-child syndrome.
It's such a big event in their lives, they don't know quite how to handle it.
Alfred, of course.
Like when you proposed to me and then made me promise not to tell anybody about it.
Amanda.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh.
Alfred, I've got a marvelous idea.
Why don't we throw them a surprise baby shower? Then that way they'll know that all their friends want to help.
You know, Amanda, sometimes you're positively brilliant.
We'll invite the whole base.
Okay.
[.]
Extraordinary, isn't it? Here, the man has been to the moon and back and yet he's afraid of a perfectly normal thing like having a baby.
I assure you, general, it's quite typical.
Well, now, I'll tell you, I think this surprise baby shower is just the thing.
You know, it'll give him confidence.
Well, it wouldn't a bad thing for the space program either.
Put some heart into it.
Uh, be sure the public relations people are there.
Excellent idea, sir.
Excellent.
All right, now, let's see.
We have Commander Spencer and Major Eastlake, and of course, the Johnsons.
Oh, and we won't tell Major Healey until the very last minute.
Oh, he's so close to Major Nelson he's sure to spill the beans.
Uh, get some of the congressmen from the appropriations committee.
One thing they can't say no to is motherhood.
[CHUCKLES.]
Goodbye, husband.
Goodbye.
Have a good day.
Any idea how soon? Not yet.
But I do not think it is very far off.
She is very listless.
You call me if anything happens.
Oh, I will.
Okay.
[.]
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY.]
There.
Amazing, general.
Heh-heh-heh.
Well, I didn't major in physics for nothing.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
Quick, everybody, Major Nelson's coming.
Hide.
Hide the BELLOWS: Hurry, hurry.
Come on.
[.]
Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen, I didn't know you were having a meeting.
Oh, that's quite all right, major.
We were just, uh Just Uh-uh-uh, just discussing the, uh The moisture condensation control filter of the new KR3 space helmet.
Oh.
I do not know what is wrong with Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn, master.
She has not eaten a thing all day.
Yeah, well, I think I know what's the matter.
I'll bet you by tonight we hear the pitter-patter of little paws, huh? Oh, master.
Hm-hm.
You know, if the way you've taken care of Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn is any indication, one of these days you're gonna make a great mother.
You mean I will have puppies too? [SIGHS.]
Our rendezvous will be at 1840 hours around the corner under the elm trees.
Oh, uh, by the way, has anybody briefed Major Healy? Oh, there's no need, sir.
He'll be there for dinner anyway, Good, he can be surprised too then.
Uh, Lieutenant Hoffman, you all set? Uh, yes, sir.
Gentleman, the first wave of shower guests will hit the doorstep at 1900 hours sharp.
Now, synchronize watches.
Boy, I can't take much more of this.
When? When do you think it'll happen? How should I know? I never had puppies before.
[DOG BARKING.]
Oh, I think it's happening.
What's going on? Not yet.
Hey, maybe we better get a vet, huh? Oh, great idea.
"Uh, doctor, this is Mr.
and Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn.
They're genie dogs from Baghdad.
" Well, I could call in Louis Pasteur or Florence Nightingale.
Yeah, well if they're vets, maybe we better call 'em.
[DOG BARKING.]
Oh, Djinn-Djinn, do not worry.
Everything will be all right.
[WHINES.]
I will be right back.
Boy, I've I've never had a dog before.
Shhhh.
[WHISPERING.]
All systems go.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Go! [RINGS DOORBELL.]
ALL: Surprise! [ALL LAUGHING.]
Surprise.
Are you surprised, major? Oh, you might say that, yes, sir.
Well, uh, wh? What's this all about? It's a baby shower, old father-to-be.
A shower, oh.
Yeah.
BELLOWS: Well Hey, Jeannie, you're gonna have a baby shower.
Not now, Now now, Major Healy.
Mrs.
Djinn-Djinn is going to have her puppies.
Thank you very much.
I can't tell you how we appreciate Oh, don't thank us, major.
We're a team at NASA.
All for one, and one for all.
Oh, now tell me where is the darling mother-to-be? BELLOWS: In the kitchen washing dishes.
No, no, not in the kitchen.
Oh, I bet we caught her with her oldest dress on.
She's in the bedroom changing.
Well, tell her to take her time.
I'll tell her.
I'll tell her.
Just a minute, major.
Hoffman, get over here with your camera.
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
It's good for the morale of the base.
Yeah.
Left side, Hoffman.
[DOG WHIMPERING.]
Uh-oh.
What's the matter? I think it is time, Major Healy.
What do you want me to do? Uh, more hot towels, quickly.
More hot towels.
Where's Djinn-Djinn? Djinn-Djinn? Oh, I think he's fainted.
Mm? [GASPS.]
ALL: For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow No, please.
Which nobody can deny Speech! Speech! Thank you.
Just a moment, please.
Jeannie and I both appreciate what you've all done.
And And And believe me, if it were true, I'd be the happiest man in the world.
But right now, positively, absolutely, and I swear to this as a United States Air Force officer, that w-we're not gonna have a baby.
[LAUGHTER.]
No! Oh, hey, it's time.
It's time.
It's time.
Jeannie says it's time.
Boil some water.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
For what? It's all right.
It's not what you think, sir.
It couldn't be time.
She doesn't even show.
Don't worry, son, we can handle it.
If they need boiling water, it's too late for an ambulance.
Call a doctor.
No, no.
Yes, call a doctor.
Yes, call a doctor.
Alfred, you are a doctor.
Not that kind of a doctor.
I don't care what kind of a doctor you are, Alfred, go get your bag immediately.
I'm going to help Jeannie.
No, it's all right.
Roger's in there.
Major, what kind of a man are you? Your wife is in that kitchen having your baby.
Get out of my way! It's all right.
Roger's in there with her.
Roger isn't a doctor.
I know.
More hot towels.
More hot towels.
Ah.
[WHIMPERS.]
For heaven's sake, major, didn't you know your wife was this close? She's not, she's not.
Ah! Oh, it's a male, it's a male.
She just went into labor five minutes ago.
It's all right.
No, no, no, no.
You all stay right there.
Everything's under control.
There's no reason for anybody to get upset.
It's all right, Jeannie.
I'm coming.
No, it's all right.
Number two, a female.
Huh? Twins, already? BELLOWS: Jeannie, I'm coming.
It's all right, it's all right.
Roger's in there.
Do you realize that your wife is just having twins and there's no doctor in attendance? It's all right.
Triplets, triplets! Heh-heh.
Quads.
What's happening? It's all right.
I'd like to Listen, if you'll all be quiet, I can explain the whole thing.
You see the babies The babies are beautiful, all six of them.
Six? Puppies? Puppies? Yes.
[YELPING.]
You mean, I bought a teddy bear for a dog shower? Thank you.
Where's Djinn-Djinn? Wait a minute, more hot towels.
What for? Your face.
All over your face.
I've never been through a thing like this in my life.
I'm excited.
Do you realize that there are uniforms out there? Don't worry about Djinn-Djinn.
He's so exhausted from being a father, he won't be able to pull off any magic.
Huh? Wait a minute, wait a minute.
The whole side.
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY.]
Beautiful.
Aw.
Mrs.
Bellows, are you all right? Hey.
Hey, look at that, he's acting like a regular dog.
I don't know what I've been through.
[GASPS.]
Oh, aren't they adorable? Oh, Jeannie, may I have one, please? Now, just a moment.
That's a great idea.
I'd like one too, Jeannie.
How about one for the base mascot? Oh Thank you very much.
Goodbye.
It was a nice thought.
Thank you.
I-I'll return those presents tomorrow.
Oh, darling, why do we not donate them to a children's hospital? Oh, yes.
That's a marvelous idea, Jeannie.
Be sure to send a public relations man along.
Yes.
All right.
Good night.
Good night.
And thanks again.
Here.
I forgot these.
Oh, sorry.
No more house calls.
Good night.
Good night.
Phew.
Ha-ha-ha.
Darling, look, a-about the puppies.
You can't give those people a puppy.
I mean, it's impossible.
Can you imagine what would happen? Oh, do not worry, darling.
It is all arranged.
Well, you'll just have to unarrange it.
Can you imagine what would happen if we populated Cocoa Beach with, uh, magic puppies? Now, let's see.
This one is for Uncle Azmire.
This one is for Aunt Melama.
This one is for cousin No, no, no, no.
That's Azmire, this is Melama.
Uh, Cousin Ali, Aunt Fatima.
And this one.
This one is for BOTH [IN UNISON.]
: Grandfather Ahkmed.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
He has your eyes.
[GIGGLES.]
[.]