I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s05e19 Episode Script
Jeannie and the Curious Kid
[.]
TONY: Jeannie? Jeannie? I wonder where she is.
Not far.
I wish she wouldn't leave this stuff around.
Um, hey, Jeannie.
[WHIRRING.]
Hey, what do you think Dr.
Bellows is coming over for? I don't know.
He was pretty pleasant on the phone.
Bellows pleasant? You must be in trouble.
He called me "Tony, old friend.
" Yeah, well, big trouble.
[LAUGHS.]
Jeannie, would you come out please? [WHIRRING CONTINUES.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
That must be Dr.
Bellows.
Uh, uh Stay in there.
It's Dr.
Bellows.
[WHIRRING.]
[CLANGING.]
[WHIRRING STOPS.]
[ECHOING.]
Yes, master? Jeannie, d-don't come out.
Dr.
Bellows is here.
[ROGER WHISTLING.]
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
BELLOWS: Good afternoon.
Hello, hello, major.
You mind if I don't get up? [.]
[.]
Uh, we know it's a lot to ask, major, but it's just 'till tomorrow afternoon.
You see, we're going to a medical convention.
Oh, but don't worry.
He won't be any trouble.
My nephew is a joy to have around.
Your nephew? Melvin, would you get out of the rose beds, dear? Is that your nephew? Yes, that's he, yes.
We don't have any children.
I don't know if Jeannie can handle this.
I would too.
Oh, but listen, he is a darling boy with a very active imagination.
You will just love him, you really will.
Melvin? Mel Alfred, I-I can't see him.
You don't think he's run away again, do you? Oh I hope so.
Oh, I'm sorry about this.
Uh, sir? [.]
[.]
Oh, boy.
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, here he is.
Uncle Alfred! Uncle Alfred! I just saw a lady come out of this bottle.
You did not.
Shh.
I did too! There was a whole bunch of smoke and everything.
Now, Melvin, you shouldn't make up stories.
Alfred, now, I don't know.
If the boy said that he saw something Oh, it's those comic books.
He reads so many of them they've affected his brain.
But I did! I did see it! There was smoke and a lady and everything.
She came out of the bottle.
Well, if you saw her, where is she? I don't know, but I saw smoke! Shh.
Hello? Hello, Major Healey.
Good timing.
Jeannie, hello.
This is my nephew, uh, Melvin.
And we're going to impose on you terribly and ask you to take care of him, but just for one day.
Oh, we would love to, Mrs.
Bellows, of course.
How do you do, Melvin? [.]
Melvin, it isn't polite to stare.
Yes, ma'am.
How do you do, Mrs.
Nelson? Well, we have to run.
Thank you again.
Yes, we're just going to go get his things.
Where have you been? I'll help you.
Come on, Roger.
[.]
Hey, look at the chair! It's going up TONY: A little chocolate, huh? Yeah, and pineapple.
Pineapple.
Pineapple, oh, yeah.
And Strawberry.
strawberry.
Right on top, the strawberries.
How about a little whipped cream? Whipped cream.
Some nuts.
Nuts, nuts, nuts.
There you are.
A few cherries.
A few cherries.
Right you are.
Coming up.
How about three, hm? Three cherries.
One, two, three.
Good? Oops, sorry.
Ha-ha, ha.
You just eat up now, and have a good time.
Mr.
Nelson? Mm-hm? Where'd you get that weird bottle and that chair? Well, a chair's a chair, and a bottle's a bottle, you know.
Mm-hm.
Have a good time, kid.
Sure is a weird chair.
Yeah, there's plenty more where that came from.
[NERVOUS LAUGHTER.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Ah-ha.
Y-you are annoyed with me? Now, where'd you get that idea? Well, I'm sorry, master, but I did not know that he was there.
If that little boy finds out you're a genie, I am dead.
Dead, you understand? Tell me you love me.
[SCOFFING.]
This is important.
You do not love me.
Oh, of course I love you.
Oh, you do not love me.
I do! I do! Oh, you love me! Jeannie.
No more magic while he's around.
You understand that? Yes, master.
Oh, but m-m-m-m-master.
What? No buts.
But But master No, no.
Master! Do something.
Not that.
[.]
I'm ready for bed.
Oh, I will be right up.
[GIGGLES.]
Thank goodness.
I hope he sleeps 12 hours.
Oh, master, he's really a very nice little boy.
Hm? Oh, yeah, he's a nice little boy all right.
He is also suspicious, curious and creepy, and a threat to my existence.
[LAUGHS.]
That kid believes in witches and warlocks and genies and that kind of nonsense.
Master.
Oh, you know what I mean.
Well, perhaps I will tell him a bedtime story.
Mm.
Let me see.
Maybe Ali Baba and the 38 Thieves, hm? Forty.
No.
It was 38, master.
I was there.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I'll tell him the story.
Well, let's see now, there's a lot of great stories.
You got any favorites? Yeah, the one about the genie.
The what? Aladdin and His Magic Lamp.
Uh, gee, I don't think I know that one.
Oh, I do.
Uh, it's coming back to me now.
You sure you want that one? It's my favorite.
Oh, ha-ha, okay.
All right.
Ahem.
Uh, lets see now.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy and one day he was walking along this This beach.
Oh, it was the forest.
No, darling, it was a beach.
Forest.
Beach.
Beach.
It was the beach, Mrs.
Nelson.
I read it a lot.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
A Aladdin was Was, uh, walking along this long beach, see? And he [MOUTHS WORDS.]
And found, uh, uh, uh, there in the sand was this This, uh, lamp.
Old, beat-up, rusty, ancient-looking lamp.
See? So and he knew that if he picked it up and polished it that, uh, he could sell it at the bazaar.
And so he rubbed it and rubbed it and rubbed it, and all of a sudden this This huge genie appeared.
Uncle Punjab! [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
This huge genie appeared.
Punjab is his name.
And, uh, Punjab said Ow! [.]
[MOUTHS.]
Ow.
Oh, hello, darling.
You are home early.
Yeah, I got home as soon as I could.
Well, how's Melvin? Everything going okay? Terrible.
Huh? I have to cook dinner.
[HUSHED.]
I mean actually cook it without magic.
We are all liable to die.
[CHUCKLES.]
No, it'll be great.
Uh, what's the little devil doing? I do not know.
What do you mean you don't know? [SIGHS.]
Hey, Melvin, how are you doing, buddy? Ha-ha.
There's something strange about this bottle.
Huh? Nah, that's just a plain old, ordinary bottle.
I wonder if I rubbed it I'd get a wish.
Huh? [LAUGHS.]
Uh, no, no.
Ah, go ahead, give it a try.
I wish I had a lot of new toys.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, hi, Melvin.
I brought you a lot of new toys.
It worked! It worked! That was just a coincidence.
What did you bring those here for? To take his mind off the bottle.
Oh, no, no, that's mine.
That one's mine.
Hey, Major Nelson.
[THUD.]
TONY: Ow! Airplane! Oh, yeah.
Where are they? It's almost 8:00.
Don't worry.
Dr.
Bellows will be over in a few minutes and everything will be all right.
Yeah, not a moment too soon.
Think it's all right leaving that kid out with Jeannie? Yeah, she's got orders to keep his mind off the bottle.
MELVIN: Oh, boy! Oh, my Yay! You have hit the eye of the bull again, Melvin.
Is this not fun? I can't miss.
And all because I rubbed a bottle and made a wish.
Oh, no, no.
It had nothing to do with the bottle.
Oh, yes it did.
Oh, hello, darling.
Hello.
Would you like a turn? No.
No, thanks.
Uh, Melvin, your aunt and uncle are gonna be here pretty soon.
You better go on inside and wait for them, huh? Okay.
Wait 'till I tell 'em.
Yeah.
[GIGGLES.]
You were supposed to make him forget about the bottle.
Oh, I-I did, master.
That is why we were playing darts.
Y But you kept blinking and moving the dartboard in front of the darts.
Oh, but he could not hit it any other way, master.
And you said to make him happy.
Yes, hon, but without magic.
Now, can't you do anything right? Well, I-I was doing my best.
Yeah, well, your best is a catastrophe.
Look at this.
Very well, then, I will leave him to you.
Honestly, I-I Jeannie? Now, now, now, now, don't get angry.
Jeannie? Mm-hm.
Jeannie! [.]
Well, thank you again, major, for looking after Melvin.
It's been our pleasure, sir.
It has? Yeah.
It has.
It has.
And say goodbye to Jeannie for us, won't you? I certainly will.
Well, come along, Melvin.
So long, Melvin.
Bye.
Thanks a lot.
Come back again.
MELVIN: Sure! Why did you say that? Ah, it just slipped out.
Well, thank goodness that kid's gone.
Uh, Jeannie, it's safe now.
You can come out.
Jeannie? Come along, Melvin.
I'm coming.
[.]
It was great.
They got instant-growing flowers that just pop up.
Then I wished for some toys and there they were.
And they got this magic dartboard that moves right in front of your dart so you can't miss.
Don't you believe me? Oh, I'm sorry.
Of course we believe you.
And then I suppose the nice lady came out of the bottle again in a cloud of smoke.
No, sir.
She went back in.
And I got her.
Oh! What? Now, that is a naughty boy.
Now, you know that belongs to the Nelsons.
But the lady's inside.
I'll bet she's a genie just like the one in Aladdin and His Magic Lamp.
Aladdin's lamp.
You poor, dear, boy.
What did they do to you over there? Tsk.
Oh, nonsense, Amanda.
As a psychiatrist, the answer is obvious: The boy is suffering from pre-adolescent delusions resulting from a comic book syndrome.
Okay, I'll open the bottle.
I'll show you.
[CORK POPS.]
[GASPS.]
All right, Melvin, now, what do you see? Nothing.
It's too dark.
But I know she's in here.
I'm glad he's from your side of the family.
[.]
Jeannie? Jeannie.
Oh, come on out, Jeannie.
All I wanna do is apologize.
Where would I go if I was a genie and I wanted to sulk? I'd go to my bottle, 'cause that's where always Jeannie sulks.
Jeannie? Well, she wasn't in the coffeepot.
Yeah? Maybe she's in the pot, huh? Ah! It's hot.
Roger, would you, uh, look under the bar please? I've looked under the bar.
I've looked every place.
The bottle's gone.
[RINGS.]
Oh, Major Healey? Uh, this is Dr.
Bellows.
Uh, would you, um, would you kindly tell Major Nelson that, uh, uh, Melvin sort of, uh, accidentally, uh, brought home that decorative bottle that he keeps in his living room? Really? Oh, hey, Tony, good news.
Dr.
Bellows found the bottle.
Yeah, where? It's at his house.
Is Jeannie in it? Uh, Dr.
Bellows, is, uh, Jeannie? Uh, hello, uh, Col.
Bottle, this is Major Bellows.
Do you have the Nelson there? [TONY LAUGHS.]
Sorry, I Major, have you been drinking? Uh, no, not yet.
Why don't I come over and pick it up, sir? Oh, nonsense.
I'll, uh I'll drop it by in the morning.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I I'd just take a couple of minutes.
I can pick it up right away.
Major Nelson, after all, it's just a bottle.
Or is it? Uh, well, it's an It's an antique, sir.
I wouldn't want you to be worried about it.
I'll I'll be right over, huh? Major Nelson, it's getting late.
You can get it in the morning, and that's an order.
Yeah, but Col.
Bottle Bettie Bittle [STUTTERING.]
[LINE DISCONNECTS.]
Melvin, put that bottle down.
Major Nelson's coming for it in the morning.
He is? [.]
Ouch! Now I got ya.
What are you doing with that bottle of sherry? Nothing.
Sherry that may explain a lot of things.
For heaven's sake.
Hm.
Come on, it's time to go to bed.
And leave the bottle of sherry there.
How about a glass of wine when you get back? When I come back, yes.
[HUMMING.]
Where am I? [HICCUPS.]
[.]
What if they're not asleep yet? There's not a light on in the house.
We gotta get Jeannie out of there.
Hold this.
Now give me the, uh, pocket knife.
Will you give me? These weird things.
Here.
I'll wait in the car.
Stay here.
Yeah, stay here.
There.
Will you hurry up? Shh.
What are we doing breaking in a house anyway? Must be crazy.
Shut up.
Shut up, shut up.
Go on in.
I'm not going in.
You go in.
All right, all right.
Shut up.
Roger, Roger.
[RATTLING.]
Alfred.
Alfred, I think I just heard some noises downstairs.
[GROANS.]
Call my office for an appointment.
Alfred, will you get up? Alfred, get up.
All right, be quiet.
Shhh, shhh.
You take this side of the room and I'll take that side of the room.
That side.
Shhh.
Jeannie? Jeannie? Jeannie, are you in there? Sh! What are you doing? Got him in three moves.
[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY.]
Go check the bar.
Shh.
Check the bar.
[SNIFFS.]
[SNIFFING.]
What are you doing now? Here's to our first heist.
Would you cut that out? Here she is.
Jeannie? Hello, master.
Hiccup! Uh, don't Don't worry, now.
You're safe, you're safe.
All right, now, take that.
Here, get out of here.
Shh.
Go on.
[HICCUPS, GIGGLES.]
He got the wrong bottle.
He got the wrong bottle! [GLASS SHATTERS.]
Jeannie, come on out.
Jeannie? What's the matter? She's not in there.
Oh, great.
So far we've stolen an empty bottle, a broken window and a pair of curtains.
Will you please get up now? What's the matter? What did you hear? I heard noises.
I heard somebody come in.
Hurry up.
Oh, all right, for heaven's sake.
Would you kindly put your robe on your own bed? [BOTH TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[RUSTLING.]
We have to get something to protect ourselves with.
What have you got? I don't know.
There's a vase No.
No.
Something big.
Something very big.
Oh, Alfred, it isn't raining for heaven's sake.
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
No, you should be out first.
I'm not going out first.
Don't push! I'm not pushing.
Shh, be quiet.
Shhh, shhh.
Come on over here.
She's gotta be around the bar somewhere.
Look around the bar.
Jeannie? Jeannie? Jeannie? Jeannie? Whoo-hoo.
Oh, master.
[GIGGLES, HICCUPS.]
Alfred, I know I heard something.
I know when I hear something, and I head something.
It was a sort of a crushing sound.
Didn't you hear it? Don't you ever hear anything? I might if you stopped talking.
Oh.
[MAGIC BOING.]
[SHATTERS.]
What was that? Shh.
Great, great, there she is.
There's Dr.
Bellows.
Oh! [.]
I'll turn the light on.
No, no, no, stay close in case there is a prowler.
[HICCUPS.]
Oh, Amanda, what a time to get the hiccups.
Hold your breath or something.
You go jerk the plug and then jump out window.
Jump out the window, jerk the plug.
No! What? Jerk the plug, and then jump out the window.
I'll get Jeannie.
Shh.
Alfred, why did you turn off the light? I never touched it.
I'm standing here holding your hand.
What?! [CRASHING, YELLING.]
[SCREAMS.]
Alfred! What was that? What did you hit? By mistake I hit the vase.
AMANDA: My vase! Why did you turn the lights out, Alfred? I didn't touch the lights.
[KNOCKING.]
What? The door.
Alfred, somebody came to the door.
Can you see it? No.
[KNOCKING.]
[CRIES OUT.]
You get the door, quietly.
Just quietly.
I'll be behind you.
I'll be right behind you.
You answer it.
Go ahead, answer it.
Okay.
[ALL SCREAM.]
Oh, Major Nelson, Major Healey.
Hello.
How are you? Oh, what are you doing here? Turn on the light.
Well, we were just passing by.
We thought we saw a prowler.
We'd thought we'd drop in and see how you were.
[HICCUPS.]
[JEANNIE HICCUPS.]
Major.
Huh? [JEANNIE HICCUPS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
They've been drinking, Alfred! MELVIN: I know why they're here.
They came to get the bottle with the lady in it.
Melvin, will you please go back to bed.
Alfred, stop yelling at the boy.
Oh, Melvin, maybe you should go back to bed.
I don't want you around these officers in this disgusting condition.
But I trapped her in the sherry bottle.
I'll show you.
Oh, Melvin, really.
What kind of sherry was that? Wait, wait.
Wait a minute.
I'll show you, I'll show you.
[GIGGLING.]
Would you go and change your clothes? [HICCUPS.]
What are you talking about for heaven's sake, dear? What in the bottle? What was it? Jeannie Jeannie? Where did you come from? Baghdad.
[HICCUPS.]
Baghdad? There's something going on around here.
I told ya! It's all because the lady in the bottle.
She's magic.
I'll prove it to you.
Now, Melvin, this had gone too far.
Let me see that bottle.
I've never heard of anything Hm, I don't see anything.
[GIGGLES, MAGIC BOING.]
[YELLS.]
Melvin, what's the matter with you? Oh, Amanda, look at the thing.
I don't think there's anything to laugh at.
I don't think so either, sir.
But I was sure.
I was positive.
Oh, Melvin, for heaven's sake, positive of what? What nonsense, a lady in a bottle.
But the genie She was in there! You know, from now on Stop talking.
It's your fault, Amanda.
If you'd pay more attention [.]
Hey, will you come on? We're gonna be late.
I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.
Dr.
Bellows wants us in his office by 8:00.
I don't want to upset him after last night.
Have another cup of coffee.
I never had my first cup.
Hey, look, we've only got five minutes now.
Come on.
Listen, Jeannie can blink us down there in a minute.
What's the big rush, huh? Oh, boy, you've taken your time.
I can't believe you.
I still don't understand what's the rush.
What do you mean, what's the rush? Good morning, Jeannie.
Ooh.
What is good about it? How are you feeling, darling? [SPEAKING FOREIGN DIALECT.]
That bad, huh? Mmm.
You think you can blink us to NASA? Yes, master.
Okay.
Uncle Alfred, you promised to take me to the zoo.
Uncle Alfred, look! They're here! The lady's here! BELLOWS: Oh, for heaven's sakes, Melvin! MELVIN: Don't you believe me? Look at 'em! Look at 'em! Jeannie, I'm going into my office.
[.]
TONY: Jeannie? Jeannie? I wonder where she is.
Not far.
I wish she wouldn't leave this stuff around.
Um, hey, Jeannie.
[WHIRRING.]
Hey, what do you think Dr.
Bellows is coming over for? I don't know.
He was pretty pleasant on the phone.
Bellows pleasant? You must be in trouble.
He called me "Tony, old friend.
" Yeah, well, big trouble.
[LAUGHS.]
Jeannie, would you come out please? [WHIRRING CONTINUES.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
That must be Dr.
Bellows.
Uh, uh Stay in there.
It's Dr.
Bellows.
[WHIRRING.]
[CLANGING.]
[WHIRRING STOPS.]
[ECHOING.]
Yes, master? Jeannie, d-don't come out.
Dr.
Bellows is here.
[ROGER WHISTLING.]
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
BELLOWS: Good afternoon.
Hello, hello, major.
You mind if I don't get up? [.]
[.]
Uh, we know it's a lot to ask, major, but it's just 'till tomorrow afternoon.
You see, we're going to a medical convention.
Oh, but don't worry.
He won't be any trouble.
My nephew is a joy to have around.
Your nephew? Melvin, would you get out of the rose beds, dear? Is that your nephew? Yes, that's he, yes.
We don't have any children.
I don't know if Jeannie can handle this.
I would too.
Oh, but listen, he is a darling boy with a very active imagination.
You will just love him, you really will.
Melvin? Mel Alfred, I-I can't see him.
You don't think he's run away again, do you? Oh I hope so.
Oh, I'm sorry about this.
Uh, sir? [.]
[.]
Oh, boy.
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, here he is.
Uncle Alfred! Uncle Alfred! I just saw a lady come out of this bottle.
You did not.
Shh.
I did too! There was a whole bunch of smoke and everything.
Now, Melvin, you shouldn't make up stories.
Alfred, now, I don't know.
If the boy said that he saw something Oh, it's those comic books.
He reads so many of them they've affected his brain.
But I did! I did see it! There was smoke and a lady and everything.
She came out of the bottle.
Well, if you saw her, where is she? I don't know, but I saw smoke! Shh.
Hello? Hello, Major Healey.
Good timing.
Jeannie, hello.
This is my nephew, uh, Melvin.
And we're going to impose on you terribly and ask you to take care of him, but just for one day.
Oh, we would love to, Mrs.
Bellows, of course.
How do you do, Melvin? [.]
Melvin, it isn't polite to stare.
Yes, ma'am.
How do you do, Mrs.
Nelson? Well, we have to run.
Thank you again.
Yes, we're just going to go get his things.
Where have you been? I'll help you.
Come on, Roger.
[.]
Hey, look at the chair! It's going up TONY: A little chocolate, huh? Yeah, and pineapple.
Pineapple.
Pineapple, oh, yeah.
And Strawberry.
strawberry.
Right on top, the strawberries.
How about a little whipped cream? Whipped cream.
Some nuts.
Nuts, nuts, nuts.
There you are.
A few cherries.
A few cherries.
Right you are.
Coming up.
How about three, hm? Three cherries.
One, two, three.
Good? Oops, sorry.
Ha-ha, ha.
You just eat up now, and have a good time.
Mr.
Nelson? Mm-hm? Where'd you get that weird bottle and that chair? Well, a chair's a chair, and a bottle's a bottle, you know.
Mm-hm.
Have a good time, kid.
Sure is a weird chair.
Yeah, there's plenty more where that came from.
[NERVOUS LAUGHTER.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Ah-ha.
Y-you are annoyed with me? Now, where'd you get that idea? Well, I'm sorry, master, but I did not know that he was there.
If that little boy finds out you're a genie, I am dead.
Dead, you understand? Tell me you love me.
[SCOFFING.]
This is important.
You do not love me.
Oh, of course I love you.
Oh, you do not love me.
I do! I do! Oh, you love me! Jeannie.
No more magic while he's around.
You understand that? Yes, master.
Oh, but m-m-m-m-master.
What? No buts.
But But master No, no.
Master! Do something.
Not that.
[.]
I'm ready for bed.
Oh, I will be right up.
[GIGGLES.]
Thank goodness.
I hope he sleeps 12 hours.
Oh, master, he's really a very nice little boy.
Hm? Oh, yeah, he's a nice little boy all right.
He is also suspicious, curious and creepy, and a threat to my existence.
[LAUGHS.]
That kid believes in witches and warlocks and genies and that kind of nonsense.
Master.
Oh, you know what I mean.
Well, perhaps I will tell him a bedtime story.
Mm.
Let me see.
Maybe Ali Baba and the 38 Thieves, hm? Forty.
No.
It was 38, master.
I was there.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I'll tell him the story.
Well, let's see now, there's a lot of great stories.
You got any favorites? Yeah, the one about the genie.
The what? Aladdin and His Magic Lamp.
Uh, gee, I don't think I know that one.
Oh, I do.
Uh, it's coming back to me now.
You sure you want that one? It's my favorite.
Oh, ha-ha, okay.
All right.
Ahem.
Uh, lets see now.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy and one day he was walking along this This beach.
Oh, it was the forest.
No, darling, it was a beach.
Forest.
Beach.
Beach.
It was the beach, Mrs.
Nelson.
I read it a lot.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
A Aladdin was Was, uh, walking along this long beach, see? And he [MOUTHS WORDS.]
And found, uh, uh, uh, there in the sand was this This, uh, lamp.
Old, beat-up, rusty, ancient-looking lamp.
See? So and he knew that if he picked it up and polished it that, uh, he could sell it at the bazaar.
And so he rubbed it and rubbed it and rubbed it, and all of a sudden this This huge genie appeared.
Uncle Punjab! [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
This huge genie appeared.
Punjab is his name.
And, uh, Punjab said Ow! [.]
[MOUTHS.]
Ow.
Oh, hello, darling.
You are home early.
Yeah, I got home as soon as I could.
Well, how's Melvin? Everything going okay? Terrible.
Huh? I have to cook dinner.
[HUSHED.]
I mean actually cook it without magic.
We are all liable to die.
[CHUCKLES.]
No, it'll be great.
Uh, what's the little devil doing? I do not know.
What do you mean you don't know? [SIGHS.]
Hey, Melvin, how are you doing, buddy? Ha-ha.
There's something strange about this bottle.
Huh? Nah, that's just a plain old, ordinary bottle.
I wonder if I rubbed it I'd get a wish.
Huh? [LAUGHS.]
Uh, no, no.
Ah, go ahead, give it a try.
I wish I had a lot of new toys.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, hi, Melvin.
I brought you a lot of new toys.
It worked! It worked! That was just a coincidence.
What did you bring those here for? To take his mind off the bottle.
Oh, no, no, that's mine.
That one's mine.
Hey, Major Nelson.
[THUD.]
TONY: Ow! Airplane! Oh, yeah.
Where are they? It's almost 8:00.
Don't worry.
Dr.
Bellows will be over in a few minutes and everything will be all right.
Yeah, not a moment too soon.
Think it's all right leaving that kid out with Jeannie? Yeah, she's got orders to keep his mind off the bottle.
MELVIN: Oh, boy! Oh, my Yay! You have hit the eye of the bull again, Melvin.
Is this not fun? I can't miss.
And all because I rubbed a bottle and made a wish.
Oh, no, no.
It had nothing to do with the bottle.
Oh, yes it did.
Oh, hello, darling.
Hello.
Would you like a turn? No.
No, thanks.
Uh, Melvin, your aunt and uncle are gonna be here pretty soon.
You better go on inside and wait for them, huh? Okay.
Wait 'till I tell 'em.
Yeah.
[GIGGLES.]
You were supposed to make him forget about the bottle.
Oh, I-I did, master.
That is why we were playing darts.
Y But you kept blinking and moving the dartboard in front of the darts.
Oh, but he could not hit it any other way, master.
And you said to make him happy.
Yes, hon, but without magic.
Now, can't you do anything right? Well, I-I was doing my best.
Yeah, well, your best is a catastrophe.
Look at this.
Very well, then, I will leave him to you.
Honestly, I-I Jeannie? Now, now, now, now, don't get angry.
Jeannie? Mm-hm.
Jeannie! [.]
Well, thank you again, major, for looking after Melvin.
It's been our pleasure, sir.
It has? Yeah.
It has.
It has.
And say goodbye to Jeannie for us, won't you? I certainly will.
Well, come along, Melvin.
So long, Melvin.
Bye.
Thanks a lot.
Come back again.
MELVIN: Sure! Why did you say that? Ah, it just slipped out.
Well, thank goodness that kid's gone.
Uh, Jeannie, it's safe now.
You can come out.
Jeannie? Come along, Melvin.
I'm coming.
[.]
It was great.
They got instant-growing flowers that just pop up.
Then I wished for some toys and there they were.
And they got this magic dartboard that moves right in front of your dart so you can't miss.
Don't you believe me? Oh, I'm sorry.
Of course we believe you.
And then I suppose the nice lady came out of the bottle again in a cloud of smoke.
No, sir.
She went back in.
And I got her.
Oh! What? Now, that is a naughty boy.
Now, you know that belongs to the Nelsons.
But the lady's inside.
I'll bet she's a genie just like the one in Aladdin and His Magic Lamp.
Aladdin's lamp.
You poor, dear, boy.
What did they do to you over there? Tsk.
Oh, nonsense, Amanda.
As a psychiatrist, the answer is obvious: The boy is suffering from pre-adolescent delusions resulting from a comic book syndrome.
Okay, I'll open the bottle.
I'll show you.
[CORK POPS.]
[GASPS.]
All right, Melvin, now, what do you see? Nothing.
It's too dark.
But I know she's in here.
I'm glad he's from your side of the family.
[.]
Jeannie? Jeannie.
Oh, come on out, Jeannie.
All I wanna do is apologize.
Where would I go if I was a genie and I wanted to sulk? I'd go to my bottle, 'cause that's where always Jeannie sulks.
Jeannie? Well, she wasn't in the coffeepot.
Yeah? Maybe she's in the pot, huh? Ah! It's hot.
Roger, would you, uh, look under the bar please? I've looked under the bar.
I've looked every place.
The bottle's gone.
[RINGS.]
Oh, Major Healey? Uh, this is Dr.
Bellows.
Uh, would you, um, would you kindly tell Major Nelson that, uh, uh, Melvin sort of, uh, accidentally, uh, brought home that decorative bottle that he keeps in his living room? Really? Oh, hey, Tony, good news.
Dr.
Bellows found the bottle.
Yeah, where? It's at his house.
Is Jeannie in it? Uh, Dr.
Bellows, is, uh, Jeannie? Uh, hello, uh, Col.
Bottle, this is Major Bellows.
Do you have the Nelson there? [TONY LAUGHS.]
Sorry, I Major, have you been drinking? Uh, no, not yet.
Why don't I come over and pick it up, sir? Oh, nonsense.
I'll, uh I'll drop it by in the morning.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I I'd just take a couple of minutes.
I can pick it up right away.
Major Nelson, after all, it's just a bottle.
Or is it? Uh, well, it's an It's an antique, sir.
I wouldn't want you to be worried about it.
I'll I'll be right over, huh? Major Nelson, it's getting late.
You can get it in the morning, and that's an order.
Yeah, but Col.
Bottle Bettie Bittle [STUTTERING.]
[LINE DISCONNECTS.]
Melvin, put that bottle down.
Major Nelson's coming for it in the morning.
He is? [.]
Ouch! Now I got ya.
What are you doing with that bottle of sherry? Nothing.
Sherry that may explain a lot of things.
For heaven's sake.
Hm.
Come on, it's time to go to bed.
And leave the bottle of sherry there.
How about a glass of wine when you get back? When I come back, yes.
[HUMMING.]
Where am I? [HICCUPS.]
[.]
What if they're not asleep yet? There's not a light on in the house.
We gotta get Jeannie out of there.
Hold this.
Now give me the, uh, pocket knife.
Will you give me? These weird things.
Here.
I'll wait in the car.
Stay here.
Yeah, stay here.
There.
Will you hurry up? Shh.
What are we doing breaking in a house anyway? Must be crazy.
Shut up.
Shut up, shut up.
Go on in.
I'm not going in.
You go in.
All right, all right.
Shut up.
Roger, Roger.
[RATTLING.]
Alfred.
Alfred, I think I just heard some noises downstairs.
[GROANS.]
Call my office for an appointment.
Alfred, will you get up? Alfred, get up.
All right, be quiet.
Shhh, shhh.
You take this side of the room and I'll take that side of the room.
That side.
Shhh.
Jeannie? Jeannie? Jeannie, are you in there? Sh! What are you doing? Got him in three moves.
[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY.]
Go check the bar.
Shh.
Check the bar.
[SNIFFS.]
[SNIFFING.]
What are you doing now? Here's to our first heist.
Would you cut that out? Here she is.
Jeannie? Hello, master.
Hiccup! Uh, don't Don't worry, now.
You're safe, you're safe.
All right, now, take that.
Here, get out of here.
Shh.
Go on.
[HICCUPS, GIGGLES.]
He got the wrong bottle.
He got the wrong bottle! [GLASS SHATTERS.]
Jeannie, come on out.
Jeannie? What's the matter? She's not in there.
Oh, great.
So far we've stolen an empty bottle, a broken window and a pair of curtains.
Will you please get up now? What's the matter? What did you hear? I heard noises.
I heard somebody come in.
Hurry up.
Oh, all right, for heaven's sake.
Would you kindly put your robe on your own bed? [BOTH TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[RUSTLING.]
We have to get something to protect ourselves with.
What have you got? I don't know.
There's a vase No.
No.
Something big.
Something very big.
Oh, Alfred, it isn't raining for heaven's sake.
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
No, you should be out first.
I'm not going out first.
Don't push! I'm not pushing.
Shh, be quiet.
Shhh, shhh.
Come on over here.
She's gotta be around the bar somewhere.
Look around the bar.
Jeannie? Jeannie? Jeannie? Jeannie? Whoo-hoo.
Oh, master.
[GIGGLES, HICCUPS.]
Alfred, I know I heard something.
I know when I hear something, and I head something.
It was a sort of a crushing sound.
Didn't you hear it? Don't you ever hear anything? I might if you stopped talking.
Oh.
[MAGIC BOING.]
[SHATTERS.]
What was that? Shh.
Great, great, there she is.
There's Dr.
Bellows.
Oh! [.]
I'll turn the light on.
No, no, no, stay close in case there is a prowler.
[HICCUPS.]
Oh, Amanda, what a time to get the hiccups.
Hold your breath or something.
You go jerk the plug and then jump out window.
Jump out the window, jerk the plug.
No! What? Jerk the plug, and then jump out the window.
I'll get Jeannie.
Shh.
Alfred, why did you turn off the light? I never touched it.
I'm standing here holding your hand.
What?! [CRASHING, YELLING.]
[SCREAMS.]
Alfred! What was that? What did you hit? By mistake I hit the vase.
AMANDA: My vase! Why did you turn the lights out, Alfred? I didn't touch the lights.
[KNOCKING.]
What? The door.
Alfred, somebody came to the door.
Can you see it? No.
[KNOCKING.]
[CRIES OUT.]
You get the door, quietly.
Just quietly.
I'll be behind you.
I'll be right behind you.
You answer it.
Go ahead, answer it.
Okay.
[ALL SCREAM.]
Oh, Major Nelson, Major Healey.
Hello.
How are you? Oh, what are you doing here? Turn on the light.
Well, we were just passing by.
We thought we saw a prowler.
We'd thought we'd drop in and see how you were.
[HICCUPS.]
[JEANNIE HICCUPS.]
Major.
Huh? [JEANNIE HICCUPS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
They've been drinking, Alfred! MELVIN: I know why they're here.
They came to get the bottle with the lady in it.
Melvin, will you please go back to bed.
Alfred, stop yelling at the boy.
Oh, Melvin, maybe you should go back to bed.
I don't want you around these officers in this disgusting condition.
But I trapped her in the sherry bottle.
I'll show you.
Oh, Melvin, really.
What kind of sherry was that? Wait, wait.
Wait a minute.
I'll show you, I'll show you.
[GIGGLING.]
Would you go and change your clothes? [HICCUPS.]
What are you talking about for heaven's sake, dear? What in the bottle? What was it? Jeannie Jeannie? Where did you come from? Baghdad.
[HICCUPS.]
Baghdad? There's something going on around here.
I told ya! It's all because the lady in the bottle.
She's magic.
I'll prove it to you.
Now, Melvin, this had gone too far.
Let me see that bottle.
I've never heard of anything Hm, I don't see anything.
[GIGGLES, MAGIC BOING.]
[YELLS.]
Melvin, what's the matter with you? Oh, Amanda, look at the thing.
I don't think there's anything to laugh at.
I don't think so either, sir.
But I was sure.
I was positive.
Oh, Melvin, for heaven's sake, positive of what? What nonsense, a lady in a bottle.
But the genie She was in there! You know, from now on Stop talking.
It's your fault, Amanda.
If you'd pay more attention [.]
Hey, will you come on? We're gonna be late.
I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.
Dr.
Bellows wants us in his office by 8:00.
I don't want to upset him after last night.
Have another cup of coffee.
I never had my first cup.
Hey, look, we've only got five minutes now.
Come on.
Listen, Jeannie can blink us down there in a minute.
What's the big rush, huh? Oh, boy, you've taken your time.
I can't believe you.
I still don't understand what's the rush.
What do you mean, what's the rush? Good morning, Jeannie.
Ooh.
What is good about it? How are you feeling, darling? [SPEAKING FOREIGN DIALECT.]
That bad, huh? Mmm.
You think you can blink us to NASA? Yes, master.
Okay.
Uncle Alfred, you promised to take me to the zoo.
Uncle Alfred, look! They're here! The lady's here! BELLOWS: Oh, for heaven's sakes, Melvin! MELVIN: Don't you believe me? Look at 'em! Look at 'em! Jeannie, I'm going into my office.
[.]