I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s05e22 Episode Script
Eternally Yours, Jeannie
[.]
[HUMMING.]
"Major Bunky Nelson"? [SNIFFING.]
[SNEEZES.]
[EXHALES.]
Lavender? Hmm.
No special occasion, major.
Amanda got a new cookbook, and she wants to try it out on you.
Uh, shall we say 7:30? Yeah, 7:30's fine, sir.
Uh, just let me call Jeannie and check.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Fine.
Yeah.
Major Nelson here.
Oh, hello, darling.
I was just gonna call you.
The mail came, master.
Oh.
Anything important? Well, there There's a letter addressed to Major Bunky Nelson.
Bunky Nelson? What's the return address on it? Fowler's Corners, Ohio.
Well, I'll be darned.
Open it up.
Uh, major, about tonight? Oh, uh, Dr.
Bellows asked us over for dinner tonight, and, uh, I said yes.
Is that all right with you? Heh.
Well, of course, darling.
I would be delighted.
Yeah.
She says it's all right.
Oh, good.
But, uh, I do not open letters smelling of lavender, addressed to Bunky Nelsons I do not know.
Oh, I'll need that telemetry report I-if you're through with it.
Oh, sure.
You open it.
Here you are, sir.
Don't be silly, darling.
Fowler's Corners is my old hometown.
Open it up.
I wanna know who it's from.
Of course, master, if you insist on it.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Wait a minute, darling [LINE CLICKS.]
Bunky Nelson? Yeah.
[.]
It's kind of a nickname Major Nelson [.]
[.]
Major Nelson, the top-secret telemetry file.
I was holding it in my hand, along with some sort of a personal letter, and it disappeared.
Well, I don't see how that could've happened, sir.
I didn't give it to you.
Major Nelson, I was holding it in my hand.
Well, then, where is it, sir? That's what I'm asking you.
[GIGGLES.]
[.]
"Dearest Bunky, do they still call you that? "I imagine not, now that you are a famous astronaut.
"Surprise.
I am going to be in Cocoa Beach, "and I thought what fun it would be to see you again.
Remember this? Eternally yours, Bonnie.
" "Eternally yours"? "PS: I have enclosed a recent picture of me.
" Picture? Hmm.
"I will wear this dress when I come to see you "so you'll have no trouble recognizing me.
"I mean, after all these years, I am afraid I have gotten terribly old and fat.
" "Old and fat"? Huh.
She's beautiful.
Major, a top-secret file is missing.
This is no time for phone calls.
[CHUCKLES.]
[PHONE RINGS.]
Uh, listen, Jeannie Uh, Major Nelson Huh? She signs it, "Eternally yours, Bonnie.
" Jeannie can wait.
The telemetry file.
Oh, I think it's over in the top drawer in that cabinet, sir.
Oh.
But But, master, I would like to know, who is Bonnie? I'll explain later.
Anything else pop in with that letter? I would like you to explain now, Anthony.
Bonnie Crenshaw, she was my high school sweetheart.
When you popped in that letter, you also popped in an envelope.
Oh.
Yes, so I did.
Master, I would like you to explain right Now, get it back here right away.
Yes, master.
But truly, I would like to know who Bonnie Crenshaw is.
Major Nelson, for the last time, I warn you Here it is, sir.
Right there.
That's the only copy I had.
Thank you, darling.
Major Nelson.
Yes? Uh Oh, nothing.
Nothing at all.
Tell me, why is it that every time I leave this office, I'm completely bewildered? [HUMMING.]
[SIGHS.]
Aha.
Bonnie Crenshaw.
Bonnie Crenshaw.
Bonnie Crenshaw, Bonnie [GASPS.]
Well, she's hardly changed at all.
"Dear Bunky, you are the coolest guy "in A-12 homeroom.
Eternally yours, Bonnie.
" "Eternally yours" again.
[MUTTERING.]
Oh, there's my master.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, he looks so handsome.
"Nelson, Anthony.
"Senior class president, debating society, "junior varsity football, Parthenians.
And love and smooches from Bonnie to Bunky.
" Bonnie, Bonnie! I am sick of Bonnie.
[GASPS.]
He kept it.
All these years and he kept it.
He kept it eternally.
Oh, and now she's coming to Cocoa Beach.
Oh, I wonder.
I truly wonder [.]
TONY: Bonnie? Bonnie, is it you? Oh! [PLAYING "MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN".]
[GRUNTS.]
TONY: I'm coming, Bonnie.
I'm coming.
I, Anthony Nelson, take thee, Bonnie Crenshaw, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
Eternally.
Mmm! He married me on the rebound.
[DOOR OPENS.]
TONY: Jeannie, I'm home.
Hi, Jeannie.
[EXHALES.]
Hello, darling.
How are you? Why don't you whip us up a couple of sandwiches, huh? Oh, it would be a pleasure, master.
Hmm, what a pleasant surprise.
You're usually not home for lunch.
Heh.
I wanted to come and see that letter.
Now, where is it? Oh, that.
Mm-hm.
It is on the coffee table.
Yeah? Which one? There are a hundred letters here.
Oh, I-it is the smelly one.
Oh.
[SNIFFS.]
Mmm, yeah.
[.]
I wish I'd never seen that letter.
[SIGHS.]
How about that, after all these years, "Eternally yours, Bonnie.
" Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Hey, is that her? Yeah.
[WHISTLES.]
Yeah.
Hey, that's a great-looking chick.
I tell you, she really had me doing handstands.
[GASPS.]
He still loves her.
Yeah, I wonder what she looks like now.
Ah, I don't know.
I'll I'll be finding out tomorrow.
She's coming here.
I ran into an old high school friend of mine the other day.
Boy, was she grubby and fat.
Yech.
Changed a lot, huh? No, that's the trouble.
She hadn't changed at all.
Jeannie! How about those sandwiches? [YELLS.]
Mmm.
I'll be home at 6:30 and we're due at the Bellows' at 7:30.
Okay? Thanks for the sandwiches.
Swiss cheese on linoleum.
Bye.
I am sorry, master, but I am afraid I will not be able to go to the Bellows' with you tonight.
Well, why not? Well, uh, I-it is my mother.
She's not feeling well.
A-and I promised that I would visit her tonight.
You didn't say anything this morning.
It come up suddenly? Oh, y-yes.
Yes.
Uh, I decided to go when the mail came.
Couldn't you put it off till tomorrow? Why, no.
No, no, no.
That would not be right.
But, uh, I could ask her to come here.
Heh.
I'll see you when you get back.
Bye-bye.
I've been waiting for you.
Where you been? Bye, master.
[.]
I think my master should meet his high school sweetheart today.
[LAUGHS.]
[JEANNIE'S VOICE.]
But there is no sense taking chances.
Oh, that's perfectly all right, major.
I understand.
I hope that Jeannie's mother feels better.
Oh, I'm sure it's nothing serious, sir.
Excuse me, miss.
May I help you find someone? Oh, that is all right.
I Um, that is, yes.
I am looking for Major Nelson's office.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to get a pass.
If you'll go around the corner Oh, I have a pass.
I forgot to put it on.
See? I see.
Yes.
So Jeannie didn't go to her mother's after all.
Major Nelson's office, was it? Right around the corner, first door on your left.
Uh, thank you.
You're welcome.
She's jealous of my high school sweetheart.
Well, I better teach that young lady a lesson.
Oh, uh, major, just one more question about the telemetry report.
Yes.
All right, sir.
Now, about that, uh, telemetry report, I [.]
Miss? Whoa, miss.
Stop.
Stop.
Oh, dear.
Wait a minute.
Bonnie Crenshaw? Yes.
But how did you know my name? Well, I'm a psychic.
Really? Nobody's home at his house.
Maybe I should go down to NASA with you and surprise him.
Hey, hey, that's a great idea.
While I'm talking to the procurement officer about the contracts, you can be buttering up old Bunky.
Who knows? Maybe he can put in a good word for us.
Are you sure you don't mind my seeing him again, Moose? I mean, uh, Bunky and I were a pretty hot item before you snatched me away from him.
Heh.
Bunky Nelson? That twerp.
He couldn't even make first-string varsity.
But, Moose, he's a famous astronaut now.
And I'm a famous electrical supply contractor.
Hey, you trying to make me jealous? Listen, honey, if I ever catch anybody making a pass at you, I'll break him in half.
But Bunky Nelson? [SCOFFS.]
Come on.
Okay, Moose.
I just wanted to be sure.
I saw your picture in Tony's yearbook.
You were pretty then, but you're prettier now.
Oh, thank you.
Well, I was just Oh, oh, look.
I wouldn't go in there.
He's not there.
He's, uh I know, he's my best friend.
I have some pictures of him in my office.
Would you like to go over to, uh? We can talk about him in my office.
I don't think I Honey, anybody Anybody who helps me get those contracts is okay by me.
You know something, Moose? Mm? Sometimes I think your precious contracts are more important to you than I am.
You, uh, like the fur coats those contracts let me get you? Right? Yeah.
Okay.
Well, if they let me make the toggle switches for their rockets, I'll buy you sable instead of dyed rabbit.
Push, pull, on, off.
They must need a million of 'em.
So you see So you see, Tony's a happily married man, to a wonderful girl.
She, uh She sounds a lot like you.
The same voice.
Really? Really.
Is she, uh, prettier than I am? Uh, is she prettier than you are? Well, let's put it this way.
She's a married pretty and, uh, you're a single pretty.
You, uh You are single, aren't you? Uh Uh, yes.
After Bunky, there was no one I could You poor kid, pining away all those years in Flower's Corners.
Fowler's Corners.
Yeah, Flower's Corners.
Just Just thinking of Tony.
What a nice kid.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Come in.
Bunky Nelson.
I'd know you anywhere.
Well, Bonnie.
I'd know you anywhere.
Now, this is wonderful.
Here, here.
Sit down, please.
Say, you haven't changed since high school.
Oh, and you're just as handsome as ever.
[CHUCKLES.]
That uniform becomes you.
Thanks.
This is quite a surprise.
I I didn't expect you until tomorrow.
Oh, well, we took an earlier plane.
We? Mm.
Moose Murphy and I.
Well, you remember.
The all-city fullback.
Heh.
We got married, you know.
What? Oh, you didn't know.
That's strange.
I didn't think it'd hurt this much.
Oh, Bunky, come on now.
Not after all these years.
Hee-hee.
Major Healey, I think that I would like to see Bunky now.
W-w-wait a minute.
You just sit down and talk.
Sit down for a drink and we can have a few sandwiches here.
We could talk.
We have so much in common.
What do we have in common, Major Healey? What do we have in common? What do we have in common? Oh, well, what do we have in common? Well, to begin with, neither one of us are married.
We're just here to sit here and talk about old Bunky.
Oh, Bunky, I had no idea.
[YELLS.]
Yes, after all these years, finally in my arms again.
Bunky, now wait.
You've got the wrong idea.
Bunky Darling, y-you'd better go home before somebody sees you.
What? Ye Uh, don't you understand? I recognized you from the first moment.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Yes, that's what you said.
Yeah.
S-sweetheart, I-I suppose I should be angry at you, uh, but I guess it's normal for a wife to be jealous of her husband's childhood sweetheart.
But I want you to understand Ooh! I want you to understand that you're my wife, I love you.
There's never been anybody else.
Do you understand? Bunky, tell me something.
They let men in your condition go to the moon? Major Healey, please.
We will all have a drink later.
Ah.
Right now all I want to do is see my Is see good old Bunky.
Yeah, well, we can see good old Bunky later.
We'll go to lunch and talk about him.
Oh, Major Healey.
You are making a mistake.
I'm making a mistake? I'm making a mistake? He's a happily married man.
You wanna be a home wrecker? We'll go over to my apartment and you can wreck it.
JEANNIE: Major Healey let go of my hand.
[.]
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
Wait, I'll never forgive myself if I let you go.
Hit him low and hit him hard.
Uh, fella, no running in the halls.
Ah, wait a minute! So this is what I get for trusting you.
I find you billing and cooing with the first astronaut who comes along.
Okay, let's go.
We're getting out of here.
The heck with the toggle switches.
Major Healey, what are you doing on the floor? What are you doing? What happened? Wake up.
Wake up, major.
What happened? Wait a minute.
Oh, yeah, I was talking to this girl and I knew it.
I knew that one of these days one of your girls would get you into trouble.
It must be one of those days, 'cause one of those girls got me into trouble.
Yes, well, here we go, now.
Take it easy.
Oh, my head.
Oh, come, come, come, come, come.
And for heaven's sakes, major, stay out of these corridors.
Bunky, stop it.
Let me go.
What are you doing? Jeannie, will you cut it out and blink us home? Jeannie? Who's Jeannie? And what do you mean, blink? You're weird.
What? Help! Shh! How long are you gonna keep this up anyhow? Major Nelson, what are you doing? It's all right, sir.
She needs a little air.
Well, I shouldn't wonder.
That's funny.
I thought I saw that other fellow carry her off.
[.]
Oh where am I? Ah! Oh, dear, I remember.
We're going right back to Fowler's Corners.
Bonnie.
Bonnie, where are you? She's gone back to find him.
He must have her hypnotized.
Well, we'll just see about that.
When I find that guy, the space program's gonna be short one astronaut.
Hey, have you seen my wife? I beg your pardon? My wife.
I'm looking for my wife and that astronaut who made a pass at her.
Oh, so that's how it was.
Yeah.
Well, you needn't worry.
She's in good hands now.
Major Nelson took her home.
Bunky Nelson? The other guy was a blind.
Oh, Moose, you idiot.
Bunky? Where have I heard that name before? Major Healey.
Major, are you going to make a habit of this? [SIGHS.]
Ooh, I am beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea after all.
Jeannie, how long you gonna keep this up? Come on.
What are you going to do? I'm gonna ask you to sit down here and calm down while I explain the whole thing over to you again.
The masquerade is finished.
It's over.
I love you, Jeannie.
And I don't plan on loving anybody else for the rest of my life.
Oh, I take it back.
I think it is a marvelous idea.
You understand? No.
I do.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
You stay here.
Whatever it is, I'll handle it.
Yes? Where is she?! Huh? Where is she? Oh! Moo Moose, hi Moose, it's me.
Don't give me that, you twerp.
No, no.
It's not what you think.
It Moose! Bonnie.
Bonnie, how could you? He He made me.
Oh, I get it.
It was you all the time.
B-Bonnie Bunky Nelson, the twerp.
M-Moose, Moose, for old time's sake It was a mistake Wait a minute, what are you doing? Hit him low and hit him hard.
Isn't there any way to stop [YELLING.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh, Moose Jeannie, Jeannie.
Oh, oh.
Moose, Moose.
Hey, I-I-I'm sorry.
I Oh! Jeannie!? Jeannie? Jeannie, look.
You do care about me.
You do care.
Hey, coach.
Listen, coach, if Bunky can block like that, you ought to put him on the first string.
Oh, come on, Moose, darling.
Let's go home.
I don't ever wanna see Bunky Nelson again.
Come on.
Yeah.
Time for a shower.
TONY: You understand? I never wanna see a Bonnie Crenshaw again, you understand? Yes, darling.
I understand.
Never again.
A-and that goes for you as Bonnie Crenshaw and the real Bonnie Crenshaw you blinked up to look like Bonnie Crenshaw.
Yes, darling! I love you too.
I love you so much.
Ha-ha.
I'm telling you, there wasn't anything I could do.
But [LINE CLICKS.]
Hi, Tony.
How about a little lunch, huh? Oh, I can't.
What's the matter? Well, I just had to cancel a luncheon engagement with Jeannie because some Lieutenant Dawson is coming in from Houston.
I have to have lunch with him.
Who's Lieutenant Dawson? I don't know.
Some guy coming in from NASA, I guess.
Diplomatic guy or something.
Major Nelson, Lieutenant Dawson here.
BOTH: You're Lieutenant Dawson? Yes.
She's Lieutenant Dawson.
Well, I'm Major Healey.
How do you do? How are you? Hi.
Did you have a nice flight? Magic carpet service all the way.
Yeah, magic carpet service I just blinked my eyes and I was here.
Yeah, that's not Dawson, that's Jeannie.
My name's not Jeannie.
Don't you think that's informal, calling her by her first name? You promised you wouldn't make trouble.
Blink out of here.
What are you talking about? You're not gonna blink? You know how she gets when she doesn't blink.
We gotta get her out of here.
I'll get her anywhere.
Husband? Husband, I am so sorry.
I did not mean to cause trouble.
I Wha? What are you doing here? Major Nelson, what is going on? Yeah, what's going on? I'm sorry.
I got a little confused.
Uh, I thought you were her.
And I thought she, of course, was you.
[LAUGHS.]
Would you take her to lunch, please? Yeah.
Well, I don't like it Not her.
Her.
Will someone take me to lunch? I liked her in the first place.
See ya.
Shall we go to lunch? Oh, yes, master! [.]
[HUMMING.]
"Major Bunky Nelson"? [SNIFFING.]
[SNEEZES.]
[EXHALES.]
Lavender? Hmm.
No special occasion, major.
Amanda got a new cookbook, and she wants to try it out on you.
Uh, shall we say 7:30? Yeah, 7:30's fine, sir.
Uh, just let me call Jeannie and check.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Fine.
Yeah.
Major Nelson here.
Oh, hello, darling.
I was just gonna call you.
The mail came, master.
Oh.
Anything important? Well, there There's a letter addressed to Major Bunky Nelson.
Bunky Nelson? What's the return address on it? Fowler's Corners, Ohio.
Well, I'll be darned.
Open it up.
Uh, major, about tonight? Oh, uh, Dr.
Bellows asked us over for dinner tonight, and, uh, I said yes.
Is that all right with you? Heh.
Well, of course, darling.
I would be delighted.
Yeah.
She says it's all right.
Oh, good.
But, uh, I do not open letters smelling of lavender, addressed to Bunky Nelsons I do not know.
Oh, I'll need that telemetry report I-if you're through with it.
Oh, sure.
You open it.
Here you are, sir.
Don't be silly, darling.
Fowler's Corners is my old hometown.
Open it up.
I wanna know who it's from.
Of course, master, if you insist on it.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Wait a minute, darling [LINE CLICKS.]
Bunky Nelson? Yeah.
[.]
It's kind of a nickname Major Nelson [.]
[.]
Major Nelson, the top-secret telemetry file.
I was holding it in my hand, along with some sort of a personal letter, and it disappeared.
Well, I don't see how that could've happened, sir.
I didn't give it to you.
Major Nelson, I was holding it in my hand.
Well, then, where is it, sir? That's what I'm asking you.
[GIGGLES.]
[.]
"Dearest Bunky, do they still call you that? "I imagine not, now that you are a famous astronaut.
"Surprise.
I am going to be in Cocoa Beach, "and I thought what fun it would be to see you again.
Remember this? Eternally yours, Bonnie.
" "Eternally yours"? "PS: I have enclosed a recent picture of me.
" Picture? Hmm.
"I will wear this dress when I come to see you "so you'll have no trouble recognizing me.
"I mean, after all these years, I am afraid I have gotten terribly old and fat.
" "Old and fat"? Huh.
She's beautiful.
Major, a top-secret file is missing.
This is no time for phone calls.
[CHUCKLES.]
[PHONE RINGS.]
Uh, listen, Jeannie Uh, Major Nelson Huh? She signs it, "Eternally yours, Bonnie.
" Jeannie can wait.
The telemetry file.
Oh, I think it's over in the top drawer in that cabinet, sir.
Oh.
But But, master, I would like to know, who is Bonnie? I'll explain later.
Anything else pop in with that letter? I would like you to explain now, Anthony.
Bonnie Crenshaw, she was my high school sweetheart.
When you popped in that letter, you also popped in an envelope.
Oh.
Yes, so I did.
Master, I would like you to explain right Now, get it back here right away.
Yes, master.
But truly, I would like to know who Bonnie Crenshaw is.
Major Nelson, for the last time, I warn you Here it is, sir.
Right there.
That's the only copy I had.
Thank you, darling.
Major Nelson.
Yes? Uh Oh, nothing.
Nothing at all.
Tell me, why is it that every time I leave this office, I'm completely bewildered? [HUMMING.]
[SIGHS.]
Aha.
Bonnie Crenshaw.
Bonnie Crenshaw.
Bonnie Crenshaw, Bonnie [GASPS.]
Well, she's hardly changed at all.
"Dear Bunky, you are the coolest guy "in A-12 homeroom.
Eternally yours, Bonnie.
" "Eternally yours" again.
[MUTTERING.]
Oh, there's my master.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, he looks so handsome.
"Nelson, Anthony.
"Senior class president, debating society, "junior varsity football, Parthenians.
And love and smooches from Bonnie to Bunky.
" Bonnie, Bonnie! I am sick of Bonnie.
[GASPS.]
He kept it.
All these years and he kept it.
He kept it eternally.
Oh, and now she's coming to Cocoa Beach.
Oh, I wonder.
I truly wonder [.]
TONY: Bonnie? Bonnie, is it you? Oh! [PLAYING "MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN".]
[GRUNTS.]
TONY: I'm coming, Bonnie.
I'm coming.
I, Anthony Nelson, take thee, Bonnie Crenshaw, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
Eternally.
Mmm! He married me on the rebound.
[DOOR OPENS.]
TONY: Jeannie, I'm home.
Hi, Jeannie.
[EXHALES.]
Hello, darling.
How are you? Why don't you whip us up a couple of sandwiches, huh? Oh, it would be a pleasure, master.
Hmm, what a pleasant surprise.
You're usually not home for lunch.
Heh.
I wanted to come and see that letter.
Now, where is it? Oh, that.
Mm-hm.
It is on the coffee table.
Yeah? Which one? There are a hundred letters here.
Oh, I-it is the smelly one.
Oh.
[SNIFFS.]
Mmm, yeah.
[.]
I wish I'd never seen that letter.
[SIGHS.]
How about that, after all these years, "Eternally yours, Bonnie.
" Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Hey, is that her? Yeah.
[WHISTLES.]
Yeah.
Hey, that's a great-looking chick.
I tell you, she really had me doing handstands.
[GASPS.]
He still loves her.
Yeah, I wonder what she looks like now.
Ah, I don't know.
I'll I'll be finding out tomorrow.
She's coming here.
I ran into an old high school friend of mine the other day.
Boy, was she grubby and fat.
Yech.
Changed a lot, huh? No, that's the trouble.
She hadn't changed at all.
Jeannie! How about those sandwiches? [YELLS.]
Mmm.
I'll be home at 6:30 and we're due at the Bellows' at 7:30.
Okay? Thanks for the sandwiches.
Swiss cheese on linoleum.
Bye.
I am sorry, master, but I am afraid I will not be able to go to the Bellows' with you tonight.
Well, why not? Well, uh, I-it is my mother.
She's not feeling well.
A-and I promised that I would visit her tonight.
You didn't say anything this morning.
It come up suddenly? Oh, y-yes.
Yes.
Uh, I decided to go when the mail came.
Couldn't you put it off till tomorrow? Why, no.
No, no, no.
That would not be right.
But, uh, I could ask her to come here.
Heh.
I'll see you when you get back.
Bye-bye.
I've been waiting for you.
Where you been? Bye, master.
[.]
I think my master should meet his high school sweetheart today.
[LAUGHS.]
[JEANNIE'S VOICE.]
But there is no sense taking chances.
Oh, that's perfectly all right, major.
I understand.
I hope that Jeannie's mother feels better.
Oh, I'm sure it's nothing serious, sir.
Excuse me, miss.
May I help you find someone? Oh, that is all right.
I Um, that is, yes.
I am looking for Major Nelson's office.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to get a pass.
If you'll go around the corner Oh, I have a pass.
I forgot to put it on.
See? I see.
Yes.
So Jeannie didn't go to her mother's after all.
Major Nelson's office, was it? Right around the corner, first door on your left.
Uh, thank you.
You're welcome.
She's jealous of my high school sweetheart.
Well, I better teach that young lady a lesson.
Oh, uh, major, just one more question about the telemetry report.
Yes.
All right, sir.
Now, about that, uh, telemetry report, I [.]
Miss? Whoa, miss.
Stop.
Stop.
Oh, dear.
Wait a minute.
Bonnie Crenshaw? Yes.
But how did you know my name? Well, I'm a psychic.
Really? Nobody's home at his house.
Maybe I should go down to NASA with you and surprise him.
Hey, hey, that's a great idea.
While I'm talking to the procurement officer about the contracts, you can be buttering up old Bunky.
Who knows? Maybe he can put in a good word for us.
Are you sure you don't mind my seeing him again, Moose? I mean, uh, Bunky and I were a pretty hot item before you snatched me away from him.
Heh.
Bunky Nelson? That twerp.
He couldn't even make first-string varsity.
But, Moose, he's a famous astronaut now.
And I'm a famous electrical supply contractor.
Hey, you trying to make me jealous? Listen, honey, if I ever catch anybody making a pass at you, I'll break him in half.
But Bunky Nelson? [SCOFFS.]
Come on.
Okay, Moose.
I just wanted to be sure.
I saw your picture in Tony's yearbook.
You were pretty then, but you're prettier now.
Oh, thank you.
Well, I was just Oh, oh, look.
I wouldn't go in there.
He's not there.
He's, uh I know, he's my best friend.
I have some pictures of him in my office.
Would you like to go over to, uh? We can talk about him in my office.
I don't think I Honey, anybody Anybody who helps me get those contracts is okay by me.
You know something, Moose? Mm? Sometimes I think your precious contracts are more important to you than I am.
You, uh, like the fur coats those contracts let me get you? Right? Yeah.
Okay.
Well, if they let me make the toggle switches for their rockets, I'll buy you sable instead of dyed rabbit.
Push, pull, on, off.
They must need a million of 'em.
So you see So you see, Tony's a happily married man, to a wonderful girl.
She, uh She sounds a lot like you.
The same voice.
Really? Really.
Is she, uh, prettier than I am? Uh, is she prettier than you are? Well, let's put it this way.
She's a married pretty and, uh, you're a single pretty.
You, uh You are single, aren't you? Uh Uh, yes.
After Bunky, there was no one I could You poor kid, pining away all those years in Flower's Corners.
Fowler's Corners.
Yeah, Flower's Corners.
Just Just thinking of Tony.
What a nice kid.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Come in.
Bunky Nelson.
I'd know you anywhere.
Well, Bonnie.
I'd know you anywhere.
Now, this is wonderful.
Here, here.
Sit down, please.
Say, you haven't changed since high school.
Oh, and you're just as handsome as ever.
[CHUCKLES.]
That uniform becomes you.
Thanks.
This is quite a surprise.
I I didn't expect you until tomorrow.
Oh, well, we took an earlier plane.
We? Mm.
Moose Murphy and I.
Well, you remember.
The all-city fullback.
Heh.
We got married, you know.
What? Oh, you didn't know.
That's strange.
I didn't think it'd hurt this much.
Oh, Bunky, come on now.
Not after all these years.
Hee-hee.
Major Healey, I think that I would like to see Bunky now.
W-w-wait a minute.
You just sit down and talk.
Sit down for a drink and we can have a few sandwiches here.
We could talk.
We have so much in common.
What do we have in common, Major Healey? What do we have in common? What do we have in common? Oh, well, what do we have in common? Well, to begin with, neither one of us are married.
We're just here to sit here and talk about old Bunky.
Oh, Bunky, I had no idea.
[YELLS.]
Yes, after all these years, finally in my arms again.
Bunky, now wait.
You've got the wrong idea.
Bunky Darling, y-you'd better go home before somebody sees you.
What? Ye Uh, don't you understand? I recognized you from the first moment.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Yes, that's what you said.
Yeah.
S-sweetheart, I-I suppose I should be angry at you, uh, but I guess it's normal for a wife to be jealous of her husband's childhood sweetheart.
But I want you to understand Ooh! I want you to understand that you're my wife, I love you.
There's never been anybody else.
Do you understand? Bunky, tell me something.
They let men in your condition go to the moon? Major Healey, please.
We will all have a drink later.
Ah.
Right now all I want to do is see my Is see good old Bunky.
Yeah, well, we can see good old Bunky later.
We'll go to lunch and talk about him.
Oh, Major Healey.
You are making a mistake.
I'm making a mistake? I'm making a mistake? He's a happily married man.
You wanna be a home wrecker? We'll go over to my apartment and you can wreck it.
JEANNIE: Major Healey let go of my hand.
[.]
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
Wait, I'll never forgive myself if I let you go.
Hit him low and hit him hard.
Uh, fella, no running in the halls.
Ah, wait a minute! So this is what I get for trusting you.
I find you billing and cooing with the first astronaut who comes along.
Okay, let's go.
We're getting out of here.
The heck with the toggle switches.
Major Healey, what are you doing on the floor? What are you doing? What happened? Wake up.
Wake up, major.
What happened? Wait a minute.
Oh, yeah, I was talking to this girl and I knew it.
I knew that one of these days one of your girls would get you into trouble.
It must be one of those days, 'cause one of those girls got me into trouble.
Yes, well, here we go, now.
Take it easy.
Oh, my head.
Oh, come, come, come, come, come.
And for heaven's sakes, major, stay out of these corridors.
Bunky, stop it.
Let me go.
What are you doing? Jeannie, will you cut it out and blink us home? Jeannie? Who's Jeannie? And what do you mean, blink? You're weird.
What? Help! Shh! How long are you gonna keep this up anyhow? Major Nelson, what are you doing? It's all right, sir.
She needs a little air.
Well, I shouldn't wonder.
That's funny.
I thought I saw that other fellow carry her off.
[.]
Oh where am I? Ah! Oh, dear, I remember.
We're going right back to Fowler's Corners.
Bonnie.
Bonnie, where are you? She's gone back to find him.
He must have her hypnotized.
Well, we'll just see about that.
When I find that guy, the space program's gonna be short one astronaut.
Hey, have you seen my wife? I beg your pardon? My wife.
I'm looking for my wife and that astronaut who made a pass at her.
Oh, so that's how it was.
Yeah.
Well, you needn't worry.
She's in good hands now.
Major Nelson took her home.
Bunky Nelson? The other guy was a blind.
Oh, Moose, you idiot.
Bunky? Where have I heard that name before? Major Healey.
Major, are you going to make a habit of this? [SIGHS.]
Ooh, I am beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea after all.
Jeannie, how long you gonna keep this up? Come on.
What are you going to do? I'm gonna ask you to sit down here and calm down while I explain the whole thing over to you again.
The masquerade is finished.
It's over.
I love you, Jeannie.
And I don't plan on loving anybody else for the rest of my life.
Oh, I take it back.
I think it is a marvelous idea.
You understand? No.
I do.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
You stay here.
Whatever it is, I'll handle it.
Yes? Where is she?! Huh? Where is she? Oh! Moo Moose, hi Moose, it's me.
Don't give me that, you twerp.
No, no.
It's not what you think.
It Moose! Bonnie.
Bonnie, how could you? He He made me.
Oh, I get it.
It was you all the time.
B-Bonnie Bunky Nelson, the twerp.
M-Moose, Moose, for old time's sake It was a mistake Wait a minute, what are you doing? Hit him low and hit him hard.
Isn't there any way to stop [YELLING.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh, Moose Jeannie, Jeannie.
Oh, oh.
Moose, Moose.
Hey, I-I-I'm sorry.
I Oh! Jeannie!? Jeannie? Jeannie, look.
You do care about me.
You do care.
Hey, coach.
Listen, coach, if Bunky can block like that, you ought to put him on the first string.
Oh, come on, Moose, darling.
Let's go home.
I don't ever wanna see Bunky Nelson again.
Come on.
Yeah.
Time for a shower.
TONY: You understand? I never wanna see a Bonnie Crenshaw again, you understand? Yes, darling.
I understand.
Never again.
A-and that goes for you as Bonnie Crenshaw and the real Bonnie Crenshaw you blinked up to look like Bonnie Crenshaw.
Yes, darling! I love you too.
I love you so much.
Ha-ha.
I'm telling you, there wasn't anything I could do.
But [LINE CLICKS.]
Hi, Tony.
How about a little lunch, huh? Oh, I can't.
What's the matter? Well, I just had to cancel a luncheon engagement with Jeannie because some Lieutenant Dawson is coming in from Houston.
I have to have lunch with him.
Who's Lieutenant Dawson? I don't know.
Some guy coming in from NASA, I guess.
Diplomatic guy or something.
Major Nelson, Lieutenant Dawson here.
BOTH: You're Lieutenant Dawson? Yes.
She's Lieutenant Dawson.
Well, I'm Major Healey.
How do you do? How are you? Hi.
Did you have a nice flight? Magic carpet service all the way.
Yeah, magic carpet service I just blinked my eyes and I was here.
Yeah, that's not Dawson, that's Jeannie.
My name's not Jeannie.
Don't you think that's informal, calling her by her first name? You promised you wouldn't make trouble.
Blink out of here.
What are you talking about? You're not gonna blink? You know how she gets when she doesn't blink.
We gotta get her out of here.
I'll get her anywhere.
Husband? Husband, I am so sorry.
I did not mean to cause trouble.
I Wha? What are you doing here? Major Nelson, what is going on? Yeah, what's going on? I'm sorry.
I got a little confused.
Uh, I thought you were her.
And I thought she, of course, was you.
[LAUGHS.]
Would you take her to lunch, please? Yeah.
Well, I don't like it Not her.
Her.
Will someone take me to lunch? I liked her in the first place.
See ya.
Shall we go to lunch? Oh, yes, master! [.]