I Love Lucy (1951) s03e18 Episode Script
Ricky Loses His Temper
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) Hi, honey.
Oh, hi.
Where's Little Ricky? He's still asleep.
Was he good? Oh, he was just perfect.
What a disposition that kid has.
Just wonderful.
Just like his old man.
Oh, he's a little angel all right.
Wait till you see what I bought.
Lucy, not another hat.
Now, don't say a word until you've seen it.
Now, don't you think that's the most beautiful hat you've ever seen? Yeah, I think it's great.
You do? Mm-hmm.
You know, frankly, I never have liked that hat on you.
What's the matter, honey? You never like my new hats.
You always like my old ones better, so this time I put my old one in the box and I wore my new one.
You dirty double-crosser.
(chuckling) I never can seem to outsmart you.
(laughing) Aw, you're such a clever husband.
(laughing) (still laughing) Oh You should have seen your face when I said I didn't like your new hat.
Yeah, I guess it was pretty funny all right.
(both laughing) Well, wait, wait, wait, wait just a minute.
I didn't say you could keep it.
How much is it? Well, you just keep on laughing, honey.
How much is it? Oh, come on now, honey.
Come on, Lucy.
You're in such a good mood.
Why spoil it? Lucy Look, if I tell you now, you'll just get mad.
There's no sense in you losing your temper every time I bring something home.
Why don't you wait till the bills come in for everything and get mad all at once? Now look, I'm not going to lose my temper.
No? Just let me see the price tag.
No.
Lucy No.
Now, look, look, look.
Isn't this beautiful? Don't you think it's worth almost any amount of money? No.
No? Well Price tag.
Como te vas pagar 49.
50 Now, now, now, honey por sombrero! Honey, you said you weren't going to get mad.
That was before I knew how much it cost! But it's such a beautiful hat, and I needed it.
Needed it?! Yes.
You got a closet full of hats.
I haven't either.
Ha! Huh! What are you doing? What do these look like? Well, they do look like hats, don't they? Yeah, they do look like hats.
But none of those look good on me.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Now, this is a lovely little hat, look at that.
And look at this one.
This is one of my favorites of all times.
Look at that hat there! And this hat- this is a Jim Dandy here.
Look at that one.
And this is a beauty.
Look.
Now, what, there you are.
Now, isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen in your whole life? You got a fortune invested in each one of these hats, and now none of them look good on you.
You only got one head.
Why do you buy so many hats? (crying) And don't cry.
I don't like it when you cry.
(cries harder) Don't do that! I should never have married a hot-blooded Cuban.
I should have married a cold-blooded Swede.
(continues crying) Now don't cry! Every time I spend a little money, you lose your temper.
What do you mean I lose my temper?! I never lose my temper! Well, you're the first person I ever saw whose veins bulge just because they have a good disposition.
Go look at yourself.
Go on.
Take a look.
See? (phone rings) (tosses mirror) (sniffles) Hello? May I speak to Mr.
Ricardo, please? Uh, just a minute.
It's for you.
Hello! Hello, Ricky, this is Morris Williams.
Yeah? I lined up a ventriloquist for you.
RICKY: Oh, good.
I've been going over the act with him, and he's perfect for what you want.
RICKY: Yeah? Besides, he's the only ventriloquist available in town.
RICKY: Uh-huh.
His name's Sir Hume.
Oh, yes, yes, Sir Hume.
I know his act.
Now, about price I also know that he was getting $250 a week at the Domino Club.
Well, now, his price is $500.
$500?! What's the matter with you? You think I'm crazy or something? Temper, temper.
Oh, listen, don't give me that.
I haven't got any temper.
I just don't like to be rooked, that's all.
$500 A week.
That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard in my life.
Well, uh, wait a minute.
Let me check with my client.
We got him.
He's blowing his top.
Look, I want that job.
Yeah, he needs food.
My voice is getting weak.
Let me handle this.
I know my psychology.
Besides, you're the only act in town that can do this and he knows it.
Sorry, Ricky.
That's our price.
All right, I'll give you till tomorrow noon to come to your senses.
Good-bye.
Quinientos pesos una semana para un dummy y ventriloquist! (jabbering) Now temper, temper.
And don't say, "Temper, temper.
" Oh, you're right, there's no sense in my fighting it.
And it's just part of your personality- big brown eyes, black wavy hair and a lousy disposition.
You couldn't keep from losing your temper if your life depended on it.
What do you mean I couldn't keep from See? losing my See? Look, I- I'm just not going to fight it anymore, dear.
I'm just going to accept it.
Well, maybe you're right.
Nobody's perfect.
I got to accept you with all your faults, too.
That's right, dear.
That's the only sensible way to look at it.
After all What do you mean "all my faults"?! Like your 'stravaganzis.
What "'stravaganzis"? You couldn't keep from buying a new hat if your life depended on it and it may.
I could, too.
I could keep from buying a new hat for a a a month.
How much would you like to bet? $49.
50.
$49.
50? How do you arrive at that figure? There's a hat I want to buy with my winnings.
Uh-huh, Well uh-huh.
See? All right, then I'll give you a better bet.
I'll bet you $49.
50 that I can keep from buying a hat longer than you can keep from-from losing your temper.
Okay.
You got yourself a bet.
All right.
Starting right now.
Well, in just a minute, dear.
Take that hat back! What do you think I am, made of money?! We'll start from now on.
Oh, come now.
I bought that hat before we made the bet, so I get to keep it.
Now, just a minute.
I have to pay for it after we made the bet, so it goes back.
I won't take it back! What do you think of that?! I Oh, no, you're not gonna catch me as easy as that.
Take it back, dear.
I won't.
Yes, you will.
It's an order.
Take it back.
No.
You must.
I don't must.
I'm sorry you have to take it back.
Yeah, well (gasps) What's the matter? Oh, look, Lucy, they're having a half-price sale.
Oh! If I look, I'm lost.
Just lead me in, Ethel.
I'll return the hat and get it over with.
Okay.
Come on.
Half-price sale.
Wouldn't you know it, today? Here's the door now.
Look out.
Oh, heavens! Hello, Mrs.
Mulford.
Hello, Mrs.
Mulford.
Why, Mrs.
Ricardo, what's the matter? Nothing.
I'm just fighting temptation.
I don't want to see all the goodies.
Huh? She bet her husband that she wouldn't buy another new hat.
Oh.
I have to return this one.
You mean that adorable hat you bought yesterday? Please, don't torture me.
Just take it back.
Come on, Ethel.
Let's get out of here.
Well Okay.
Oh, Mrs.
Mertz, can I show you something? We're having a special on cocktail hats.
Cocktail hats?! Oh, Ethel, Ethel, that feeling's coming over me again.
I can't fight it.
Get me out of here.
Help me to be strong.
Okay.
Come on.
Cocktail hats.
Cocktail hats.
Oh, Mrs.
Mertz.
(gasps) What is it?! Oh, isn't that darling? What is it?! What is it?! Uh, uh, nothing, nothing.
It is, too, Ethel.
Tell me about it.
Now? Oh, come on.
Just telling me about it won't hurt anything.
It's just a hat.
It's all covered with little pearls.
Pearls! And it's a lovely shade of turquoise.
Oh, no, not turquoise! Oh, turquoise! I love turquoise! Lucy, Lucy, it's just an ordinary shade of blue.
Now, come on.
Oh It's half-price.
I'll take it! Now wait a minute.
You haven't even seen it.
I don't care.
It sounds so wonderful.
Oh! Oh! Now, Lucy, Lucy What about Ricky? What about the bet? Oh, Ethel Lucy Ricardo, you see that door? You march right straight out of this door.
It's got little pearls and everything and a little feather.
March.
Oh, all right.
Go ahead.
Attagirl.
You can make it.
It's an original.
I got to have it! Oh! Oh, isn't it adorable?! Oh, Ethel, look at it.
Oh, Mrs.
Mulford, won't this look wonderful on me? Please, Mrs.
Ricardo, don't ask me that.
You know I never try to influence my customers.
Oh.
Will you take it with you? Yes.
Uh, I mean, no.
Send it out tomorrow.
'Course.
Oh, and be very careful of it, Mrs.
Mulford.
Oh, I will.
Oh.
Come on, Ethel.
I got a lot of work to do.
I got to make Ricky lose his temper before they deliver that hat tomorrow.
Hi, honey.
Hi, dear.
Oh, what a night.
Tough, huh? Yeah.
What are you doing up so late? Oh, I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd read for a while.
Oh.
How did everything go at the club? Terrible.
I made everybody come back and rehearse.
That's why I'm so late.
Oh.
Gee, that's right, it's 4:00.
Yeah.
You didn't lose your temper, did you, dear? No.
That's good.
You take your hat back? Oh, yeah, sure.
I'm dead tired.
Dead tired, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm ready to drop.
Just ready to drop, poor baby.
(yawning) (yawning) Good night, honey.
Good night, dear.
(groans) Sweet dreams.
Sleep tight.
(music playing loudly) What's that?! What's that?! What's that?! What's the matter, dear? Is it too loud? What?! Huh?! Is it too loud? Is it too loud?! (music playing softly) No, no, it isn't too loud.
I just thought it might disturb the neighbors.
Oh, oh, well, I'll turn it off, then, dear.
That was very thoughtless of me.
Thank you very much.
That's all right, honey.
Good night, dear.
Good night.
(scraping) (scraping) (scraping) Please, please, please, please.
I- I can hear that all the way over here.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Oh, I won't do it anymore.
That's all right.
I'm very sorry.
That's all right.
That's all right.
Good night, dear.
Good-good night.
(crunching) (crunching loudly) (crunching loudly) You want something to eat? Eat? Have a cracker, honey.
I don't want Oh! Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
Oh baby.
(crunching) Good night, dear.
Good night.
(crunching louder) (crunching continues) What's the matter, dear? Something wrong? No, no.
No.
Everything's lovely.
You sure you don't want a cracker? No, I don't want one, no.
Good night, dear.
Good-good night.
(cracking) (cracking) (cracking) (cracking) (hammering) (continues hammering) Nuts? Not right now.
Well, you let me know.
Yeah.
(hammering) (door slamming) (raucous flapping) Sorry, honey.
7:30.
Got to have the sheets for the laundry man.
Lucy.
Yes, dear? I know what you are trying to do but it's not going to work.
Hmm! I was only trying to help, dear.
You never can find your slippers in the morning, so I nailed them to the floor.
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez It was very thoughtful of you.
Lucy.
Did you get it? Here it is.
Has he lost his temper yet? No, and I'm in a terrible mess.
That hat's gonna be delivered any minute.
I hope this works.
Oh, it'll work.
You see that design, those leaves? Yeah.
Well, there's a hole in the cut there in the middle of each leaf.
Oh, yeah.
Now, you fill that up with liquid and when he drinks it, it dribbles all over him.
Oh, boy, and he's wearing a white dinner jacket! A white dinner jacket? Yeah.
He's taking publicity pictures.
That's what gave me the idea.
Oh, what a break.
(laughs) I think tomato juice might look just ducky on that white coat.
Don't go beyond that line.
Why? See? It'll all spill out before he gets a chance to drink it.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Uh, Ricky! I'll see you later.
Where are you going? I don't want to be here when he blows his Cuban top.
Ricky! RICKY: Yeah? Lunch is ready.
All right.
(Ricky yawning) Sit right down, dear.
Thank you.
What's the matter? I don't trust you.
I apologize.
What is this?! Well, it's, uh, it looks like toma tomato juice, dear.
It's a lovely shade of red, isn't it? Hi.
Hello, Fred.
Who shot him? Nobody.
Well, did he cut his throat? No.
He dribbled tomato juice all over himself.
Oh.
Well, has he lost his temper yet? No.
Still under control.
Good.
Ricky, I brought back your golf club that I borrowed.
I was practicing in Central Park and a tree jumped in front of me.
(all laughing) (wailing) (phone ringing) Hello.
Hello, this is Morris.
Is Ricky there? Uh, just a moment.
It's somebody named Morris.
Tell him I'm not home.
Uh, he's right here.
Just a second.
Hello? Hello, Ricky, we've thought it over carefully and he can't do it for less than $500.
I see.
Well, if that's the man's price, that's the man's price.
Unfortunately, I can't afford it.
Uh, is this Ricky Ricardo? Yes, this is Ricky Ricardo.
Well, look, maybe 500 is a lot of money.
Let me check with my client.
He didn't even raise his voice.
He must have somebody else.
Listen, I want you to get me that job at any price.
Uh, Ricky, just because of his great personal regard for you, he says he'll do it for 350.
I'm sorry, we'll just have to forget it.
No.
Okay.
We'll do it for 250.
Well, you know as a matter of fact, I only have $200 left for that act.
$200? You know he gets 250 everywhere he works.
All right, all right, I don't want to be unfair.
I'll give you 250.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
Good-bye.
What happened? Nothing.
Was it bad? No, no, no.
As a matter of fact, it's very good.
Oh? Yeah.
I just I just learned a wonderful lesson.
Oh, you did? Yes, sir.
I didn't lose my temper and I saved $250.
Well, that's wonderful! And you know something else? What? I owe it all to you.
To me? That's right.
So, I'm going to buy you a new hat.
Well what about the bet? Oh, forget about the bet.
Honey, from now on, I'm going to be the happiest, calmest man in the whole world.
Well, honey, that's wonderful.
Well, I'll, I'll call up and-and order the hat that I want.
No.
Look, go around, shop for a while.
I'll buy you any hat you want.
Oh, well, I know the hat that I want, dear, and I'll, I'll call up and I'll have them send it over on their fastest delivery.
Okay, sweetheart.
Well Hello.
Hello, Mrs.
Mulford.
This is Mrs.
Ricardo.
Yes.
Mrs.
Mulford, do you know that darling little turquoise hat with the pearls that I liked so much yesterday? Yes.
Would you put that on my charge and send it out, please? Yes, on your fastest, speediest delivery.
Thank you very much.
(doorbell buzzes) Well, they certainly have fast delivery.
They-they have very good service there.
Yeah, that's the one I ordered all right.
Lucy.
Yes, sir? When did you buy this hat? How's that? When did you buy this hat? Remember, you learned your lesson.
I remember.
When did you buy the hat? Yesterday afternoon.
Yesterday afternoon? Yes, sir.
(chuckling) You bought the hat yesterday afternoon? Yeah.
(guffawing) (both guffawing) That means that you lost the bet yesterday.
Yes, I guess it does.
(both guffawing) And you made me go through all that torture for nothing.
Yeah, I guess (guffawing) Yeah.
Oh, that's a killer.
(guffawing) Ah! Oh, oh, Ricky! Ricky! ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.
wgbh.
org ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.
ANNOUNCER 2: This is the CBS Television Network.
Oh, hi.
Where's Little Ricky? He's still asleep.
Was he good? Oh, he was just perfect.
What a disposition that kid has.
Just wonderful.
Just like his old man.
Oh, he's a little angel all right.
Wait till you see what I bought.
Lucy, not another hat.
Now, don't say a word until you've seen it.
Now, don't you think that's the most beautiful hat you've ever seen? Yeah, I think it's great.
You do? Mm-hmm.
You know, frankly, I never have liked that hat on you.
What's the matter, honey? You never like my new hats.
You always like my old ones better, so this time I put my old one in the box and I wore my new one.
You dirty double-crosser.
(chuckling) I never can seem to outsmart you.
(laughing) Aw, you're such a clever husband.
(laughing) (still laughing) Oh You should have seen your face when I said I didn't like your new hat.
Yeah, I guess it was pretty funny all right.
(both laughing) Well, wait, wait, wait, wait just a minute.
I didn't say you could keep it.
How much is it? Well, you just keep on laughing, honey.
How much is it? Oh, come on now, honey.
Come on, Lucy.
You're in such a good mood.
Why spoil it? Lucy Look, if I tell you now, you'll just get mad.
There's no sense in you losing your temper every time I bring something home.
Why don't you wait till the bills come in for everything and get mad all at once? Now look, I'm not going to lose my temper.
No? Just let me see the price tag.
No.
Lucy No.
Now, look, look, look.
Isn't this beautiful? Don't you think it's worth almost any amount of money? No.
No? Well Price tag.
Como te vas pagar 49.
50 Now, now, now, honey por sombrero! Honey, you said you weren't going to get mad.
That was before I knew how much it cost! But it's such a beautiful hat, and I needed it.
Needed it?! Yes.
You got a closet full of hats.
I haven't either.
Ha! Huh! What are you doing? What do these look like? Well, they do look like hats, don't they? Yeah, they do look like hats.
But none of those look good on me.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Now, this is a lovely little hat, look at that.
And look at this one.
This is one of my favorites of all times.
Look at that hat there! And this hat- this is a Jim Dandy here.
Look at that one.
And this is a beauty.
Look.
Now, what, there you are.
Now, isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen in your whole life? You got a fortune invested in each one of these hats, and now none of them look good on you.
You only got one head.
Why do you buy so many hats? (crying) And don't cry.
I don't like it when you cry.
(cries harder) Don't do that! I should never have married a hot-blooded Cuban.
I should have married a cold-blooded Swede.
(continues crying) Now don't cry! Every time I spend a little money, you lose your temper.
What do you mean I lose my temper?! I never lose my temper! Well, you're the first person I ever saw whose veins bulge just because they have a good disposition.
Go look at yourself.
Go on.
Take a look.
See? (phone rings) (tosses mirror) (sniffles) Hello? May I speak to Mr.
Ricardo, please? Uh, just a minute.
It's for you.
Hello! Hello, Ricky, this is Morris Williams.
Yeah? I lined up a ventriloquist for you.
RICKY: Oh, good.
I've been going over the act with him, and he's perfect for what you want.
RICKY: Yeah? Besides, he's the only ventriloquist available in town.
RICKY: Uh-huh.
His name's Sir Hume.
Oh, yes, yes, Sir Hume.
I know his act.
Now, about price I also know that he was getting $250 a week at the Domino Club.
Well, now, his price is $500.
$500?! What's the matter with you? You think I'm crazy or something? Temper, temper.
Oh, listen, don't give me that.
I haven't got any temper.
I just don't like to be rooked, that's all.
$500 A week.
That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard in my life.
Well, uh, wait a minute.
Let me check with my client.
We got him.
He's blowing his top.
Look, I want that job.
Yeah, he needs food.
My voice is getting weak.
Let me handle this.
I know my psychology.
Besides, you're the only act in town that can do this and he knows it.
Sorry, Ricky.
That's our price.
All right, I'll give you till tomorrow noon to come to your senses.
Good-bye.
Quinientos pesos una semana para un dummy y ventriloquist! (jabbering) Now temper, temper.
And don't say, "Temper, temper.
" Oh, you're right, there's no sense in my fighting it.
And it's just part of your personality- big brown eyes, black wavy hair and a lousy disposition.
You couldn't keep from losing your temper if your life depended on it.
What do you mean I couldn't keep from See? losing my See? Look, I- I'm just not going to fight it anymore, dear.
I'm just going to accept it.
Well, maybe you're right.
Nobody's perfect.
I got to accept you with all your faults, too.
That's right, dear.
That's the only sensible way to look at it.
After all What do you mean "all my faults"?! Like your 'stravaganzis.
What "'stravaganzis"? You couldn't keep from buying a new hat if your life depended on it and it may.
I could, too.
I could keep from buying a new hat for a a a month.
How much would you like to bet? $49.
50.
$49.
50? How do you arrive at that figure? There's a hat I want to buy with my winnings.
Uh-huh, Well uh-huh.
See? All right, then I'll give you a better bet.
I'll bet you $49.
50 that I can keep from buying a hat longer than you can keep from-from losing your temper.
Okay.
You got yourself a bet.
All right.
Starting right now.
Well, in just a minute, dear.
Take that hat back! What do you think I am, made of money?! We'll start from now on.
Oh, come now.
I bought that hat before we made the bet, so I get to keep it.
Now, just a minute.
I have to pay for it after we made the bet, so it goes back.
I won't take it back! What do you think of that?! I Oh, no, you're not gonna catch me as easy as that.
Take it back, dear.
I won't.
Yes, you will.
It's an order.
Take it back.
No.
You must.
I don't must.
I'm sorry you have to take it back.
Yeah, well (gasps) What's the matter? Oh, look, Lucy, they're having a half-price sale.
Oh! If I look, I'm lost.
Just lead me in, Ethel.
I'll return the hat and get it over with.
Okay.
Come on.
Half-price sale.
Wouldn't you know it, today? Here's the door now.
Look out.
Oh, heavens! Hello, Mrs.
Mulford.
Hello, Mrs.
Mulford.
Why, Mrs.
Ricardo, what's the matter? Nothing.
I'm just fighting temptation.
I don't want to see all the goodies.
Huh? She bet her husband that she wouldn't buy another new hat.
Oh.
I have to return this one.
You mean that adorable hat you bought yesterday? Please, don't torture me.
Just take it back.
Come on, Ethel.
Let's get out of here.
Well Okay.
Oh, Mrs.
Mertz, can I show you something? We're having a special on cocktail hats.
Cocktail hats?! Oh, Ethel, Ethel, that feeling's coming over me again.
I can't fight it.
Get me out of here.
Help me to be strong.
Okay.
Come on.
Cocktail hats.
Cocktail hats.
Oh, Mrs.
Mertz.
(gasps) What is it?! Oh, isn't that darling? What is it?! What is it?! Uh, uh, nothing, nothing.
It is, too, Ethel.
Tell me about it.
Now? Oh, come on.
Just telling me about it won't hurt anything.
It's just a hat.
It's all covered with little pearls.
Pearls! And it's a lovely shade of turquoise.
Oh, no, not turquoise! Oh, turquoise! I love turquoise! Lucy, Lucy, it's just an ordinary shade of blue.
Now, come on.
Oh It's half-price.
I'll take it! Now wait a minute.
You haven't even seen it.
I don't care.
It sounds so wonderful.
Oh! Oh! Now, Lucy, Lucy What about Ricky? What about the bet? Oh, Ethel Lucy Ricardo, you see that door? You march right straight out of this door.
It's got little pearls and everything and a little feather.
March.
Oh, all right.
Go ahead.
Attagirl.
You can make it.
It's an original.
I got to have it! Oh! Oh, isn't it adorable?! Oh, Ethel, look at it.
Oh, Mrs.
Mulford, won't this look wonderful on me? Please, Mrs.
Ricardo, don't ask me that.
You know I never try to influence my customers.
Oh.
Will you take it with you? Yes.
Uh, I mean, no.
Send it out tomorrow.
'Course.
Oh, and be very careful of it, Mrs.
Mulford.
Oh, I will.
Oh.
Come on, Ethel.
I got a lot of work to do.
I got to make Ricky lose his temper before they deliver that hat tomorrow.
Hi, honey.
Hi, dear.
Oh, what a night.
Tough, huh? Yeah.
What are you doing up so late? Oh, I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd read for a while.
Oh.
How did everything go at the club? Terrible.
I made everybody come back and rehearse.
That's why I'm so late.
Oh.
Gee, that's right, it's 4:00.
Yeah.
You didn't lose your temper, did you, dear? No.
That's good.
You take your hat back? Oh, yeah, sure.
I'm dead tired.
Dead tired, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm ready to drop.
Just ready to drop, poor baby.
(yawning) (yawning) Good night, honey.
Good night, dear.
(groans) Sweet dreams.
Sleep tight.
(music playing loudly) What's that?! What's that?! What's that?! What's the matter, dear? Is it too loud? What?! Huh?! Is it too loud? Is it too loud?! (music playing softly) No, no, it isn't too loud.
I just thought it might disturb the neighbors.
Oh, oh, well, I'll turn it off, then, dear.
That was very thoughtless of me.
Thank you very much.
That's all right, honey.
Good night, dear.
Good night.
(scraping) (scraping) (scraping) Please, please, please, please.
I- I can hear that all the way over here.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Oh, I won't do it anymore.
That's all right.
I'm very sorry.
That's all right.
That's all right.
Good night, dear.
Good-good night.
(crunching) (crunching loudly) (crunching loudly) You want something to eat? Eat? Have a cracker, honey.
I don't want Oh! Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
Oh baby.
(crunching) Good night, dear.
Good night.
(crunching louder) (crunching continues) What's the matter, dear? Something wrong? No, no.
No.
Everything's lovely.
You sure you don't want a cracker? No, I don't want one, no.
Good night, dear.
Good-good night.
(cracking) (cracking) (cracking) (cracking) (hammering) (continues hammering) Nuts? Not right now.
Well, you let me know.
Yeah.
(hammering) (door slamming) (raucous flapping) Sorry, honey.
7:30.
Got to have the sheets for the laundry man.
Lucy.
Yes, dear? I know what you are trying to do but it's not going to work.
Hmm! I was only trying to help, dear.
You never can find your slippers in the morning, so I nailed them to the floor.
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez It was very thoughtful of you.
Lucy.
Did you get it? Here it is.
Has he lost his temper yet? No, and I'm in a terrible mess.
That hat's gonna be delivered any minute.
I hope this works.
Oh, it'll work.
You see that design, those leaves? Yeah.
Well, there's a hole in the cut there in the middle of each leaf.
Oh, yeah.
Now, you fill that up with liquid and when he drinks it, it dribbles all over him.
Oh, boy, and he's wearing a white dinner jacket! A white dinner jacket? Yeah.
He's taking publicity pictures.
That's what gave me the idea.
Oh, what a break.
(laughs) I think tomato juice might look just ducky on that white coat.
Don't go beyond that line.
Why? See? It'll all spill out before he gets a chance to drink it.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Uh, Ricky! I'll see you later.
Where are you going? I don't want to be here when he blows his Cuban top.
Ricky! RICKY: Yeah? Lunch is ready.
All right.
(Ricky yawning) Sit right down, dear.
Thank you.
What's the matter? I don't trust you.
I apologize.
What is this?! Well, it's, uh, it looks like toma tomato juice, dear.
It's a lovely shade of red, isn't it? Hi.
Hello, Fred.
Who shot him? Nobody.
Well, did he cut his throat? No.
He dribbled tomato juice all over himself.
Oh.
Well, has he lost his temper yet? No.
Still under control.
Good.
Ricky, I brought back your golf club that I borrowed.
I was practicing in Central Park and a tree jumped in front of me.
(all laughing) (wailing) (phone ringing) Hello.
Hello, this is Morris.
Is Ricky there? Uh, just a moment.
It's somebody named Morris.
Tell him I'm not home.
Uh, he's right here.
Just a second.
Hello? Hello, Ricky, we've thought it over carefully and he can't do it for less than $500.
I see.
Well, if that's the man's price, that's the man's price.
Unfortunately, I can't afford it.
Uh, is this Ricky Ricardo? Yes, this is Ricky Ricardo.
Well, look, maybe 500 is a lot of money.
Let me check with my client.
He didn't even raise his voice.
He must have somebody else.
Listen, I want you to get me that job at any price.
Uh, Ricky, just because of his great personal regard for you, he says he'll do it for 350.
I'm sorry, we'll just have to forget it.
No.
Okay.
We'll do it for 250.
Well, you know as a matter of fact, I only have $200 left for that act.
$200? You know he gets 250 everywhere he works.
All right, all right, I don't want to be unfair.
I'll give you 250.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
Good-bye.
What happened? Nothing.
Was it bad? No, no, no.
As a matter of fact, it's very good.
Oh? Yeah.
I just I just learned a wonderful lesson.
Oh, you did? Yes, sir.
I didn't lose my temper and I saved $250.
Well, that's wonderful! And you know something else? What? I owe it all to you.
To me? That's right.
So, I'm going to buy you a new hat.
Well what about the bet? Oh, forget about the bet.
Honey, from now on, I'm going to be the happiest, calmest man in the whole world.
Well, honey, that's wonderful.
Well, I'll, I'll call up and-and order the hat that I want.
No.
Look, go around, shop for a while.
I'll buy you any hat you want.
Oh, well, I know the hat that I want, dear, and I'll, I'll call up and I'll have them send it over on their fastest delivery.
Okay, sweetheart.
Well Hello.
Hello, Mrs.
Mulford.
This is Mrs.
Ricardo.
Yes.
Mrs.
Mulford, do you know that darling little turquoise hat with the pearls that I liked so much yesterday? Yes.
Would you put that on my charge and send it out, please? Yes, on your fastest, speediest delivery.
Thank you very much.
(doorbell buzzes) Well, they certainly have fast delivery.
They-they have very good service there.
Yeah, that's the one I ordered all right.
Lucy.
Yes, sir? When did you buy this hat? How's that? When did you buy this hat? Remember, you learned your lesson.
I remember.
When did you buy the hat? Yesterday afternoon.
Yesterday afternoon? Yes, sir.
(chuckling) You bought the hat yesterday afternoon? Yeah.
(guffawing) (both guffawing) That means that you lost the bet yesterday.
Yes, I guess it does.
(both guffawing) And you made me go through all that torture for nothing.
Yeah, I guess (guffawing) Yeah.
Oh, that's a killer.
(guffawing) Ah! Oh, oh, Ricky! Ricky! ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.
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org ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.
ANNOUNCER 2: This is the CBS Television Network.