Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e01 Episode Script
Through the Rabbit Hole
Is would seem, we have lost the Lost Treasure of Chin Shui Ang.
On the bright side, however, Jackie Chan has done me a tremendous favour by eliminating my albatros.
Albatros? Thought Shendu was a dragon.
Which means, we now have exclusive access to Some very potent magic.
"THE STRONG EVIL" Jackie! We can't move back to Uncles! It reeks in there! Like monk beans and moth balls! And it's totally boring! -Jade, you say boring, like it's a bad thing.
-Oh! Jackie! Uncle, we're moving back in! You can not move back! -Why not? Where will Tohru sleep? Hmm.
You've been jacked.
Oh, well.
Guess, we'll have to stay in our super, secret underground base.
Jade, there's no reason for us to live in Section 13 anymore.
Are you sure about that? Valmont's still at large, remember? I am an archaeologist not a secret agent.
What about the talismans? -Buried in the earth.
Along with Shendu and his palace.
But, what makes you so sure, we've seen the last of the big bad dragon? Once I make Jackie Chan pay, I shall tear that bafun Valmont to pieces! -Silence! The only future you have is here, with us, brother! Indeed.
Let the eternal torment begin.
Torment? Eternal? The punish of betrayel, Shendu.
You chose to spend your time ruling China.
-While we withered in this bonedry pit.
-Bored out of our wits, all those centuries, each exactly like the one before it.
You never even attempted to free us! I Your rescue was in the planning stages, but I became imprisoned in statue.
Excuses! You desired the earthly realm for you alone.
Shame you never learned to share, brother.
Wait! I can free you! Do not toy with us.
The doors can only be opened from the side.
-The human side.
Precisly.
As the humble spirit, you now see before you, I am free to cross over and possess any human I wish.
Enabling me to undo the sacred spells, which keep you here.
If you so deem it.
Twelve talismans.
Four encorcers.
Three each.
Ah, boss.
There's only three of us, since Tohru cashed in he's frequent flyer miles.
So, I'll just hang on to these Hungry Crane steals Fish! Everyone remembers Hak Foo? Hey, Hak Foo.
-Or do you prefer Foo? Master Foo.
The Black Tiger shall be your new Lieutenant.
Oh! Section 13 is so cool.
Careful.
Positronic shock-wave will atomise your brain.
-Hey, Kepler.
What ya workin' on? -Particle beam, driven high densyti hypnosis and reducing phase shifter.
Two speed.
Aaa, sound complicated.
Hardly.
Oh, when're you gonna finish your jet pack? Yesterday.
Jackie! -Not now, Jade.
I'm bus Jade! Jade, what are you -Talk later! Sorry.
Ceiling! Make it stop! Make it stop! Oh, stop.
Talk now? Jade, you should never play with thing, you don't know how to work.
I didn't know, I didn't know.
Now I do.
Well, perhaps now, you know, why we have to leave Section 13.
But, Tohru will have no where to sleep.
I found a very charming apartment for us.
They allow children and pets, but no secret agents, Dark Hand thugs or magic talismans.
Jackie, robbery in progress.
Financial district.
It's the Dark Hand.
Good luck with that? -They're packin' heat.
Talisman heat.
Me, strong like Ox.
Freeze! Watch out! Snake in the grass.
An this little Piggy went to market.
Astral projection? Motion to the motionless? Jin Jan? How come, I get all the loser powers? Freeze! No fair! You're not even using yours! The Horse for healing? I am not easily injured.
The Rooster for levitation? I already fly.
The Dog for imortality? There is not a man alive, who can vanquish me.
That's cool.
Trade ya.
Baby.
Score.
Come on! Let's go! I know you're eager to get on with your life, my friend, but you know more about these talismans, then anyone.
But -I need you, Jackie.
One last time.
One last time.
-Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in.
So, can I No! Didn't even let me ask.
And if I didn't ask, how am I suppose to know, what they said no to? Hey, Kepler? How does this work? Ignition, stearing, throttle, brakes.
Gracie! We're like super heroes, who steal stuff.
Freeze! Step away from the vehicle! He's lookin' at ya! Look, ma, no hands.
Bad day.
So, I trust you would agree that my Moterdam has left a voide for a new, stronger evil to fill.
Namely you, my brothers and sisters.
Shall I proceede then? What trick is this? You've proven crafty, brother? So we require a safety measure.
Our spell will keep you bound within the human of your choosing, until you release us.
-A precaution, so that we know exactly where to find you.
In the event we deem it necessary, to resume your eternal torment.
I accept your terms.
I will choose my vessel well, to best serve you.
And the human most capable for this task is my nemesis, Jackie Chan.
Uh, Rabbit for speed.
Immortality and healing? That's redundant.
I'll swap you.
Take Mr.
Ed.
Hey, my headeach's gone.
You dirty rats! Let's go! Let's get out of here! That'll do, Pig.
That'll do.
All agents, full back.
Repeat, full back! One last time.
Jackie, I said full back! That means you too! I'm not an agent.
Need a lift? I told you, never to play with thing you don't know how to Ignition, stearing, throttle, breaks.
Faster.
Wow.
That is weird.
Lose them! Can't track, what you can't see.
It was worth a shot.
Jackie! Hot, hot hot! Heads up! Look out! Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that Immortality hurts.
Huh? Get your mids off of me! Blast him! Walrus! Ah! Walrus? Change him back.
What is taking you so long? Ah, flat tire? You seek the talismans? One on one.
Two on one.
-Two and a half.
Black Tiger crushes Bald Eagle! Angry Crow takes flight! Bye, bye.
Have a nice day! Uh-oh! Payback time! Jade, what are you doing? -I can take 'em.
I can fly.
Wha No, Jade.
Jade! Stop! Well, well.
Chan.
Gas? Kepler never mentioned fill-ups.
Jade! Jade! No! No! Trapped within this proven failure of an allie! All the more reason to hasten my quest.
We have more important matters to intend to! Get in! We're just grab the loot -No loot! Get in now! Really? -Soar throat, boss? You don't sound to good.
Why are you standing there? Collect the cash! But you said -Are you questioning me? Where are you going? Come here or I shall destroy you all! Yo, wait up! Black here.
Need transport back to HQ.
And to China Town, I'll have Jade spend the night at Uncles.
Hey! I heard that! It doesn't make sense, we were down for the count.
Why leave the spoiles? We must've left millions on that beach.
What is the deal, Big V? Valmont can not hear you.
Shendu? -He's back.
Your talismans, Mr.
Shendu.
You was taking care of them for you.
Keep your talismans, they no longer matter to me.
Wow.
How did I Where is the money? Ah, Big V? Shendu's back.
What? Where? Inside you.
That's prepostero! Get out! Trust me, Valmont.
The feeling is mutual, but for now, you and your thugs will assist me or perish.
Got it! -We're swingin' to your beat.
Uncle is not running a hotel! Jade, help Tohru make your bed! I'll take it from here, T.
We are closed! Master? Sensei? I will show you the door! Oh, Jackie! Valmont's inside and he tossed Tohru like a feather.
He must have the talismans.
Stay with Uncle.
Stop! Oh Talismans, right? Gone.
Why did he take one of Uncles books? But I don't understand.
Valmont can't summon the Shadowkhan.
Only Shendu.
Reports of my demise, have been greatly exaggerated, Chan.
Wow.
Destroy them.
On the bright side, however, Jackie Chan has done me a tremendous favour by eliminating my albatros.
Albatros? Thought Shendu was a dragon.
Which means, we now have exclusive access to Some very potent magic.
"THE STRONG EVIL" Jackie! We can't move back to Uncles! It reeks in there! Like monk beans and moth balls! And it's totally boring! -Jade, you say boring, like it's a bad thing.
-Oh! Jackie! Uncle, we're moving back in! You can not move back! -Why not? Where will Tohru sleep? Hmm.
You've been jacked.
Oh, well.
Guess, we'll have to stay in our super, secret underground base.
Jade, there's no reason for us to live in Section 13 anymore.
Are you sure about that? Valmont's still at large, remember? I am an archaeologist not a secret agent.
What about the talismans? -Buried in the earth.
Along with Shendu and his palace.
But, what makes you so sure, we've seen the last of the big bad dragon? Once I make Jackie Chan pay, I shall tear that bafun Valmont to pieces! -Silence! The only future you have is here, with us, brother! Indeed.
Let the eternal torment begin.
Torment? Eternal? The punish of betrayel, Shendu.
You chose to spend your time ruling China.
-While we withered in this bonedry pit.
-Bored out of our wits, all those centuries, each exactly like the one before it.
You never even attempted to free us! I Your rescue was in the planning stages, but I became imprisoned in statue.
Excuses! You desired the earthly realm for you alone.
Shame you never learned to share, brother.
Wait! I can free you! Do not toy with us.
The doors can only be opened from the side.
-The human side.
Precisly.
As the humble spirit, you now see before you, I am free to cross over and possess any human I wish.
Enabling me to undo the sacred spells, which keep you here.
If you so deem it.
Twelve talismans.
Four encorcers.
Three each.
Ah, boss.
There's only three of us, since Tohru cashed in he's frequent flyer miles.
So, I'll just hang on to these Hungry Crane steals Fish! Everyone remembers Hak Foo? Hey, Hak Foo.
-Or do you prefer Foo? Master Foo.
The Black Tiger shall be your new Lieutenant.
Oh! Section 13 is so cool.
Careful.
Positronic shock-wave will atomise your brain.
-Hey, Kepler.
What ya workin' on? -Particle beam, driven high densyti hypnosis and reducing phase shifter.
Two speed.
Aaa, sound complicated.
Hardly.
Oh, when're you gonna finish your jet pack? Yesterday.
Jackie! -Not now, Jade.
I'm bus Jade! Jade, what are you -Talk later! Sorry.
Ceiling! Make it stop! Make it stop! Oh, stop.
Talk now? Jade, you should never play with thing, you don't know how to work.
I didn't know, I didn't know.
Now I do.
Well, perhaps now, you know, why we have to leave Section 13.
But, Tohru will have no where to sleep.
I found a very charming apartment for us.
They allow children and pets, but no secret agents, Dark Hand thugs or magic talismans.
Jackie, robbery in progress.
Financial district.
It's the Dark Hand.
Good luck with that? -They're packin' heat.
Talisman heat.
Me, strong like Ox.
Freeze! Watch out! Snake in the grass.
An this little Piggy went to market.
Astral projection? Motion to the motionless? Jin Jan? How come, I get all the loser powers? Freeze! No fair! You're not even using yours! The Horse for healing? I am not easily injured.
The Rooster for levitation? I already fly.
The Dog for imortality? There is not a man alive, who can vanquish me.
That's cool.
Trade ya.
Baby.
Score.
Come on! Let's go! I know you're eager to get on with your life, my friend, but you know more about these talismans, then anyone.
But -I need you, Jackie.
One last time.
One last time.
-Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in.
So, can I No! Didn't even let me ask.
And if I didn't ask, how am I suppose to know, what they said no to? Hey, Kepler? How does this work? Ignition, stearing, throttle, brakes.
Gracie! We're like super heroes, who steal stuff.
Freeze! Step away from the vehicle! He's lookin' at ya! Look, ma, no hands.
Bad day.
So, I trust you would agree that my Moterdam has left a voide for a new, stronger evil to fill.
Namely you, my brothers and sisters.
Shall I proceede then? What trick is this? You've proven crafty, brother? So we require a safety measure.
Our spell will keep you bound within the human of your choosing, until you release us.
-A precaution, so that we know exactly where to find you.
In the event we deem it necessary, to resume your eternal torment.
I accept your terms.
I will choose my vessel well, to best serve you.
And the human most capable for this task is my nemesis, Jackie Chan.
Uh, Rabbit for speed.
Immortality and healing? That's redundant.
I'll swap you.
Take Mr.
Ed.
Hey, my headeach's gone.
You dirty rats! Let's go! Let's get out of here! That'll do, Pig.
That'll do.
All agents, full back.
Repeat, full back! One last time.
Jackie, I said full back! That means you too! I'm not an agent.
Need a lift? I told you, never to play with thing you don't know how to Ignition, stearing, throttle, breaks.
Faster.
Wow.
That is weird.
Lose them! Can't track, what you can't see.
It was worth a shot.
Jackie! Hot, hot hot! Heads up! Look out! Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that Immortality hurts.
Huh? Get your mids off of me! Blast him! Walrus! Ah! Walrus? Change him back.
What is taking you so long? Ah, flat tire? You seek the talismans? One on one.
Two on one.
-Two and a half.
Black Tiger crushes Bald Eagle! Angry Crow takes flight! Bye, bye.
Have a nice day! Uh-oh! Payback time! Jade, what are you doing? -I can take 'em.
I can fly.
Wha No, Jade.
Jade! Stop! Well, well.
Chan.
Gas? Kepler never mentioned fill-ups.
Jade! Jade! No! No! Trapped within this proven failure of an allie! All the more reason to hasten my quest.
We have more important matters to intend to! Get in! We're just grab the loot -No loot! Get in now! Really? -Soar throat, boss? You don't sound to good.
Why are you standing there? Collect the cash! But you said -Are you questioning me? Where are you going? Come here or I shall destroy you all! Yo, wait up! Black here.
Need transport back to HQ.
And to China Town, I'll have Jade spend the night at Uncles.
Hey! I heard that! It doesn't make sense, we were down for the count.
Why leave the spoiles? We must've left millions on that beach.
What is the deal, Big V? Valmont can not hear you.
Shendu? -He's back.
Your talismans, Mr.
Shendu.
You was taking care of them for you.
Keep your talismans, they no longer matter to me.
Wow.
How did I Where is the money? Ah, Big V? Shendu's back.
What? Where? Inside you.
That's prepostero! Get out! Trust me, Valmont.
The feeling is mutual, but for now, you and your thugs will assist me or perish.
Got it! -We're swingin' to your beat.
Uncle is not running a hotel! Jade, help Tohru make your bed! I'll take it from here, T.
We are closed! Master? Sensei? I will show you the door! Oh, Jackie! Valmont's inside and he tossed Tohru like a feather.
He must have the talismans.
Stay with Uncle.
Stop! Oh Talismans, right? Gone.
Why did he take one of Uncles books? But I don't understand.
Valmont can't summon the Shadowkhan.
Only Shendu.
Reports of my demise, have been greatly exaggerated, Chan.
Wow.
Destroy them.