Jake 2.0 (2003) s01e08 Episode Script
Middleman
Jake Foley was an ordinary guy until a freak accident transformed him into the world's first computer-enhanced man.
Millions of microscopic computers interface with his biochemistry and make him stronger and faster, able to see and hear farther than normal men.
They give him the power to control technology with his brain.
Jake Foley - America's secret weapon.
He takes on missions no ordinary agent can perform.
He is the ultimate human upgrade.
I gave you a chance to do this the easy way.
Now, sooner or later, you're going to tell me where that bomb is.
I'm going to count to three.
Three.
Oh, you think you're tough? Oh, you think you're a bad-ass? Think again, pal.
Remind me never to piss you off.
It's time.
- Already? - Yep.
Ooh! This is a very serious matter concerning the personal safety of all 46,000 NSA employees.
The workplace is not in home.
There are rules that govern your behavior Will you just take one and pass 'em? Oh, but I collect seminar pamphlets.
Each of us is entitled to a safe and harmonious work environment.
But it is our - all of our-responsibility to maintain that balance.
Now, if somebody is doing something offensive, you have to speak up.
Be sure to say no.
If you smile or act unsure of yourself Would you feel harassed if I took this seat? Oh, maybe a little.
We'd all like to be able to joke about it, pretend it isn't a big deal.
Please don't sue.
I doubt it's actionable.
I'm sure you all have places that you would rather be, but if you just give me your undivided attention for half an hour, I will try to make this as painless as possible.
So, if you could please open your pamphlets to section number one: "Unwanted advances and lascivious eye contact.
" Now, as cited in Title VII, the relevant section civil rights act of 1964, a "person" is defined as one or more individuals Yeah, I'll be going for the E6 field promotion.
Yeah, they can say California is theirs all they want.
It still belongs to us.
Satellite remote.
No, honey.
The big gray one controls the tivo Yo quiero mas informaciones acerca de la siete quinze de diciembre.
Me gusta mucho We've got a problem.
Echelon monitor over Europe's detected a scrambled call.
- What are they using? - I've never seen it before.
Some sort of crystal logarithmic device.
- Initialize decryption.
- It's already running.
Record and process.
We'll see if the boys in crypto can make anything of it.
- Right away.
- What's the source? A mobile phone.
Triangulating now Vienna, Austria.
in untranslated Polish I don't know I'm sort of in the middle of something.
I'm talking about 5 million.
- Hmmm.
- 5 million.
Is that American dollars? Of course, American.
Give me day to tie up loose ends.
I'll be in DC on Monday.
Mr.
Lowenstein I'm afraid I have unfortunate news.
I'm not going to be able to do this as thoroughly as I had hoped.
I'm deeply sorry about the rug.
That's me.
Jake Foley, I'm in Tech Support.
Security Clearance: Low.
Very low.
Then one day, it all changed.
Life just got real interesting.
So, want to catch a bite after work? - That sounds great.
- Okay.
- Well, I'm off to catch the bad guys.
- Hmm, have fun.
Good weekend? Yeah! Very good.
You? Oh, pretty uneventful.
I laid around on my couch, watched a little football.
Well, a lot.
I don't know.
I think I may have watched all the football.
What-what'd you do? Oh, I went out to Wolftrap to see Alicia Keys.
- With who? - Uh, well, you haven't met Steve Clemens? No, no, I haven't had the pleasure.
Oh, he's in cryptology.
He's Eccentric? A little bizarre? I was going to say, uh, "nice.
" Hey, does he wear one of those colanders on his head to keep out the brainwave scanners? I'm not making this stuff up.
Those code-breaker guys are weird.
Yeah, and do they exhibit classic antisocial behavior like never leaving their couch all weekend? Hey, Sarah, we're finally talking.
I know, just when I was starting to develop a relationship with your voice mail.
Yeah, you guys are getting pretty close.
We are.
He knows just when to beep.
Uh, a little predictable, though.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Things have been crazy around here, but, uh I've wanted to talk to you.
Me, too.
Uh look, I-I know it's short notice, but my boss gave me his tickets to the Saint Sebastian's Fund-Raiser tomorrow night.
I know it sounds kinda lame No, no, you kidding? I love the Saint Sebastian's fund-raiser.
- So, I'll meet you there, then? - Okay, sure.
I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
C'mon, I have a job for you, Mr.
Roboto.
"Mr.
Roboto?" You're dating yourself, Kyle.
Sounds like a dying hippo.
It's actually a next-generation encryption program.
So far, it's stymied any attempt to unscramble with logic software.
It's kind of like a lock that changes shape whenever you put a key in it.
We were hoping you could interface with it, and - Ask it to be a little less difficult? - Yeah, something like that.
I'll give it a shot.
Sorry, it's still gibberish.
No, it's not.
It's Polish.
Oh.
His name is Vasily Koronkiewicz.
According to the telephone conversations we've intercepted, it's highly probable he's in the DC area.
This man is an efficient, dangerous mercenary who specializes in abduction.
He's been high on Interpol's radar since the disappearance of the Belgian consul last April.
Human trafficking.
Nice guy.
Capturing Vasily is our highest priority.
I want his 20 by the end of the day.
So? We gonna go shake down some snitches? Jake, please.
I haven't even finished my coffee.
- Transcription from linguistics.
- Thank you.
"Narodowy?" There's no translation for this word.
Oh, uh, here.
Let me.
Uh, National Bank of Poland.
There's a Branch on Florida Ave.
Hey, can you tap into their security cameras? I can if he tells me to.
Run Vasily's photo through facial ID for the past 12 hours.
All right.
What are we missing? What haven't we thought of? Well there's always LaFortunata.
What's LaFortunata? Why don't you show him? Speak only in short, terse phrases.
Under no circumstance are you to engage, got it? What is this? The dungeon where you keep the Pig Boy? Oh, oh, let me call you right back, all right? I got some company.
I know.
I know.
Will wonders ever start? Okay.
Okay.
Keep your chin up.
- Seymour.
- Mr.
Duarte! Do I hear that clarion call? Oh, my country needs me? Just put that stuff anywhere.
Vasily Koronkiewicz.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
He's a heavy, heavy hitter.
I was hoping some of your people might know who put him up to bat.
Okay.
Uh, yeah.
Have a seat.
Let me make a few hundred phone calls.
Uh, yeah, we're on kind of a tight schedule, Sy.
Whatever you can do? Thanks for your help.
Yeah, no need to front-load the gratitude, boys.
I haven't worked my miracles yet.
Eastern European crime factions, Asian triads, the guy on the corner with a pop gun under his jacket.
Economic globalization has turned it into one neat, big web, but the spider feels every little ripple.
Uh-huh.
And you're the spider? I could write a book if I hadn't signed a foot of paper promising that I wouldn't.
Between you and me, I started anyway.
You must be Jake.
- Yeah.
How'd you know? - Seymour LaFortunata.
Interpersonal liaising, as I'm sure Mr.
Duarte has informed you.
Apprehension of the unicorn killer, Ted Kaczynski, Mufari Allis-Khan ringing any bells? You helped capture all those guys? No, of course not, don't be ridiculous.
Wink-wink, nudge-nudge.
Kid's a little green, isn't he? Little slow on the old uptake.
- You read my mind.
- You see? You see that? You see that, Jake? That, that is my magic.
I read people.
Gonna have to cut this short.
Facial ID's got a hit.
- Vasily was at the bank.
- Wow.
It was nice to meet you.
Really nice to You, too.
You, too.
Go get 'em.
Maybe this could refresh your memory.
I'm sorry.
I can't help you.
Tell me, Mr.
Harcourt, would you prefer we wait until this guy's already committed a crime? You have reason to believe that the immediate seizure of the financial records in question is necessary to prevent the death of or serious bodily injury to a human being? We wouldn't be here otherwise.
Then pursuant to chapter 21a, subchapter 1, Part A of the unlawful acts section 2000-Double-A, you should have had no trouble obtaining a subpoena duces tecum.
Do you have a subpoena for me? I left it in the car.
You understand these are extraordinary circumstances.
In the time it would take for us to petition a judge, very bad things could happen.
And none of us want that on our heads.
In the absence of a subpoena, you can have the IRS issue an administrative summons vis-a-vis the bank secrecy act.
How about you just blink once for yes? Harcourt? What? If I were to open up a checking account here, what would I get, like a free toaster? We're done here.
Yes, we are.
Thanks for all your help.
I knew I brought you along for a reason.
Vasily received a wire transfer for $500,000 in cash.
Thanks to Jake, we have a routing number.
So, we should be able to track it back to the source, figure out who hired him.
Well, why would a pro like Vasily risk being paid in cash on American soil? He needs the money to complete the job.
I want to know who's footing the bill.
I want to know what he's buying.
And most importantly, - I want to know where he is.
- I'm on the routing number.
I'm on it now.
I've got your number.
One routing number, seven hours, 153 dead ends.
I feel like my eyes are bleeding.
I mean, actually bleeding.
Are my eyes bleeding? Uh no.
All systems normal.
No complications with the nanites.
Aren't you even going to do your penlight thing? You don't need an exam, Jake.
You gust need to unplug.
Do something without computers before you get permanent rasterburn.
Why don't you see a movie? A movie? You mean one of those big, bright things you sit and stare at for two hours? Oh, sorry.
Bad suggestion.
Just do something with a human.
You want to come over and play Boggle? What? You're human.
Yeah.
Um, I-I would like to, but I - Steve.
Hi.
- Hey, Hughes.
Um, uh, Steve Clemens, - this is Jake Foley.
Jake - Hi.
How you doing, Foley? Hi.
Never better.
So, I'm thinking dinner at Maggie's.
What do you say? - Mmm.
- White pizza.
- Freakishly white, still tangy.
- Mmm.
Uh, why don't you come, too, Foley? I'll buy the first pitcher.
Oh, you know, I had dinner last night.
And, uh, the whole novelty's kind of worn thin.
- So, you sure? - Yeah.
Yeah, you guys go ahead.
Like I was telling Diane, I just feel like crashing out.
Or working all night.
Hmm.
Where are you hiding, Mr.
Vasily? Oh, hey.
Looks like I've got a match.
We've already got four teams out chasing possibles.
Let's take this one.
Corner of 6th and F.
Do you even really need to sleep? I mean, with those nanites and all.
No, Kyle.
I just plug myself into an electrical outlet for a couple of minutes, and I'm good to go for the day.
Hey, I'm just asking.
I have no idea what it's like to have Kyle, I'm still human.
Okay.
I understand.
So when you jog, do you hear that slo-mo running sound from the six million dollar man? The one that goes - do-do-do-do-do You're dating yourself again, you know that.
Hello.
What do you think he's got in the bag? $500,000 worth of unmarked nonsequential bills.
This is Agent Duarte.
We have target confirmation on Sixth and F.
Requesting backup.
He looks anxious.
Any sign of the mark? No.
Damn.
Hey! You all right? - Yeah.
- Oh, god.
Oh.
Emergency, we have an agent down.
Repeat - we have an agent down.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Miss, hold on a second! - I'm Dr.
Diane Hughes.
- I got to get to the med lab right away.
- I need to check your bag.
Here, keep it.
The nanites accelerated hemostasis tenfold.
Fiberglass are already proliferated in position for a collagen synthesis.
- That's amazing.
- So, what's it feel like? Feels like a freak on parade.
It's not the circus, people.
You got a lot of guts, Jake.
But if it weren't for the nanites, I'd be stuffing them back inside of you.
What's the situation? Give me the bullet.
Mainly superficial damage.
Slashed through the primary derma.
Penetration was minimal.
No organs were punctured.
An inch deeper, though.
Can he get back to work? If it's nothing too strenuous.
He should be as good as new in a day or two.
Glad to hear you're okay.
Thanks.
Sat Ops in 15.
- We need to run a full diagnostic.
- I did.
Careful.
Platelets? BP? - He checks out.
- I'm fine, Diane.
Jake, I am so sorry that I was not here.
It will never happen again.
Late night? - Kind of, yeah.
- You and Steve? Yeah.
We caught a midnight show of the "Long Hot Summer" after dinner.
Huh.
What? Nothing.
What? Well, it's just, you guys are moving kind of fast, aren't you? Excuse me.
Lab.
Steve, hi.
Maybe not.
You've got the accent way wrong.
Yeah.
Orson Welles was a lot more mumbly.
Guess I'm fine then.
It's not like I was stabbed or anything.
More like a slash, really.
Kind of like a big paper cut.
No.
The nose, the nose, the whole fake except for the knife.
prosthesis thing.
No.
It was so fake.
It was better than Nicole Kidman's schnoze in 'The Hours'.
Are you kidding? No, no, no.
I'm not a Lee Remick man.
I'm a Joanne Woodward man.
Hi.
Yeah.
Sweep teams covered a four-block radius, but no further sign of Vasily.
We lost him.
Yeah.
I sure put the fear of god into him.
You should have seen the blood stain I left on his sleeve.
- That won't come out, you know.
- Any progress on the wire transfer? We traced it to a corporation in Warsaw, but it's a shell within a shell.
Jake? Oh, yeah.
I got it right here.
Okay, pay dirt on Corporation Number 156.
Coming up as publicly held, but the only name generated is "Wladimir Sticj".
- Who's that? - I don't know.
But I'm going to find out.
LaFortunata? Yeah.
LaFortunata.
Brave man.
It's hard work.
Novel approach, Jake.
I still hit the wall.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I will knock it down for you, my friend, all right? I admire your tenacity, Jake, but, I oh, but, hey, hey, I would stick as close to home base as you could if I were you.
Last guy who got his hands on Vasily - Karl Devereaux at MI-5 - ooh.
Ooh.
What? What about him? Vasily cut off his hands, and sent them to Karl's wife for Christmas along with a nice fruit cake.
Yeah.
I'll keep that in mind.
Hey, you're-you're the field agent, right? Despite your lack of a shoulder holster.
What's-what's up with that? Anyway, Jake never mind.
You know what? None of my business.
It's fine.
I'll find out soon enough about your guy.
Keep your chin up.
Jake.
Okay.
Hey, Sarah.
Jake, you made it.
Hey, you look What's the word? Fantabulous.
Thanks.
So do you.
Uh So, um, what do you want to do first? Well, uh, let's do the gambling thing? I've got a little money burning a hole in my Diane? Hey.
Hi.
- Hi.
- What a surprise.
Yeah.
Hi, Sarah.
- Hi.
- Uh, this is Steve Clemens.
- He's my, um - He works with us.
And apparently has an uncanny radar for where the fun is.
Steve went to St.
Sebastian's.
So, um, he was, uh, all city guard and-and-and high honors, right? I told you that in strict confidence.
I'm using everything I can to get her to like me.
Well So Anybody for basketball? Yeah, yeah.
Let's go.
Steve's really good.
Thanks.
I mean, yeah.
What? Do I have something in my teeth? Oh, no, no, no.
I just it's a little embarrassing.
I when I first met you, I-I thought there was, uh, something between you and Jake.
Really? No.
No.
We work together, and you know how those things are.
Those worlds - they don't mix.
They collide.
Right.
Business and Sorry.
Sorry.
But, uh but you and Steve work together? Yeah, but he's in a different division.
And you and Jake are in the same division.
Exactly.
So, uh, I.
T.
is in the same division as, uh, medical research? No.
No, no.
That wouldn't make any sense.
Uh, did I say 'division'? 'Cause really in the NSA, it's more like, um, like-like 'wings'.
No, thanks.
Nice going.
Thanks.
Ooh, look what Steve won.
So you and Diane - pretty sudden.
I know.
She's great, isn't she? So, you guys are friends.
Has she said anything about me? No, not really.
It's a winner! Thanks.
Steve, you can't keep winning everything.
I don't have enough room on my bed.
You can make some room.
Hey, uh, test your strength, fellows? - No, thanks.
- Come on.
Sure.
Sure.
Come on, Clemens.
I'm buying.
Here you go.
All right.
Now, there's a strong man.
Nice.
Okay.
Here goes nothing.
Oh! Foley! You're a beast.
Uh winner.
Are you all right? Cheater.
Woo! Churros.
I'll treasure it always.
Um, so what do you want to do next? Uh Is something wrong? Uh, Sarah, I have to go.
I'll call you.
What? Hey, Clemens, have you done any field work? - Just basic training.
Why? - You know what a code nine is? - Yeah.
- Call it in right now.
Code word, Vasily.
What's happ? No.
No! What are you doing? - I'm saving your ass.
- He's already down, man! Yeah.
Okay.
Open it up.
Why don't you guys go get yourselves some coffee? I didn't think to bring you any.
It's a diuretic.
Yeah, that would be problematic given the sparse modern confines of your new home.
I've been in worse.
I'm glad you approve.
Since twice you've assaulted an agent of the United States Government, I doubt you'll be seeing the outside world again for another ten to fifteen years minimum.
Oh, now that's got to bother you.
Must be really tough not having any people around to kidnap, huh? Foreign diplomats, British Intelligence Are you going to torture me, or are you just going to talk me to death? No.
We don't torture prisoners in this country, no matter how much we might like to.
That's a shame.
I find pain to be the most effective way of getting what you want.
Is that why you tried to hurt my friend, hmm? To get something from him? I cannot believe you tried to take him down alone.
Thank god Steve had your back.
Yeah.
This is healing nicely.
You know he's getting a commendation.
We're going to go out and celebrate tonight.
Even talk of making him an active field agent.
Diane, they don't just make anybody agents, okay? Don't be jealous, Jake.
There's plenty of room here for two heroes.
Yeah, and only one of us is paying alimony.
Go figure.
What are you talking about? Steve's divorced.
Yes, I know.
He told me.
They married right out of college, and she ended up loving her job a little more than she loved him.
Did he didn't tell you this.
Have you been checking up on him? Oh, please.
Come on, like I don't have enough to do? I'm analyzing money trails.
I'm pursuing dangerous mercenaries, uh come on.
Okay, okay, maybe I took a little peek into his personnel file.
Oh, I cannot believe you.
Me? Diane, me? Diane, why is a crypto guy carrying a gun to a carnival? Oh, Jake, half the people in this building carry guns.
Half the people in this country carry guns.
- There's something wrong with him.
- Oh, no, there is something wrong with you.
You've lost the ability to relate on a personal level.
Oh that is not true.
Yes, it is.
You don't even leave your house all weekend.
You go out, and you're completely awkward.
I saw how you were with Sarah.
Oh, god I ran out on her.
I totally forgot.
Do you see? What is going on? All right, we kissed, like, a week ago, okay, and-and I don't know.
Well, isn't that a good thing? I mean, you-you've liked this girl forever.
Diane, I have millions of microscopic robots running around inside of me.
Please tell me what the next step in this relationship is, because I have no clue.
I mean, the best I can hope for is that I don't lie to her, because she can never know the real me.
Nobody can ever know the real me.
Nobody except you.
Jake I'm here for you.
I'm not going anywhere but you got to stop cutting yourself off from everybody else.
There is life outside this building.
- Anything? - Nothing.
I'll keep at it, but I don't think he'll give up his bosses.
- No good for the rep.
- Lafortunata called.
- He says he wants to talk.
- Yeah, and talk, and talk - I'm on it.
- I'll go with you.
Bless you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Sarah, I-I am so sorry about last night.
- It was work.
This thing came up - Jake stop.
I get it.
You do? Look, we kissed and it was nice.
Yeah, yes, it was.
I don't think either of us expected there would be something there, but there was.
I felt it, and I thought you felt it, too but you don't have to keep coming up with these stories to cover the fact that you're hesitant.
I'm not.
I'm not.
It's I don't want to wreck this.
I don't either.
But I need to know how you feel, Jake.
I need you to be completely honest with me.
You want me to be honest? Totally.
Vladimir Sticj.
Your boy Jake put me onto him.
Not of any prominence, really.
He, uh tended bar at the beer hall putsch in 1923, spent the last 40 years buried in a less than ornate grave at the Bierkel cemetery.
- I don't follow.
- Just wait for it.
Now, technically, this guy is the sole shareholder of the same corporation that hired Vasily.
One of my fraternity brothers - Boola-Boola - has a-a cousin who opened a transistor factory in Gdansk.
Now, he says that this "corporation" is actually a front for local mafia, mostly, you know, ex-KBG and whatnot.
Well, why would a local syndicate send a mercenary to DC? Well, because because they're-they're obsessed with cutting edge technology - most recently, nano-technology.
Vasily was commissioned to retrieve a human subject to get them in the nanotech game.
Now, if you guys know anybody, you know, who fits that bill, now, I would recommend getting him well-protected - they got deep, deep pockets.
It is not going to end with this Vasily character.
Welcome.
You're welcome, guys.
You guys stop by any time.
Wow, uh that-that's unbelievable.
I I don't know what to say.
There's nothing you can say.
I mean, really - you can't tell this to anyone ever.
So, let me get this straight, um you're a secret agent at the NSA, and there-there are these tiny robots Computers, really.
Microscopic computers.
They're self-replicating, feed off Uh yeah, t-tiny robots.
And-and they got inside you, and, uh, now you have these, um superhuman abilities.
Okay.
I-I know this is a lot to take in, but I felt like well, I just I-I needed to be one hundred percent I just asked you to be honest with me, Jake.
Sarah You know what? It's been a blast.
At least I didn't lie Do you have to be so dramatic?! Get in! You got lucky.
Vasily was hired to retrieve a human subject linked to the nano-technology.
- I don't get it.
- Jake, he's here for you.
What? That doesn't make any sense.
He could've had me twice.
Why didn't he take me? Let's ask him.
Okay, wake up, Sleeping Beauty.
I got some more questions for you.
Hey.
You got a dead prisoner in there - you want to tell me what the hell happened? - That's impossible.
- No.
No.
No! We searched him completely.
No unauthorized personnel has been in there.
Then what authorized person has? The last visitor was Steve Clemens.
What? Diane's new boyfriend.
He's a dirty agent.
He's working with Vasily.
Once we caught him Steve had no choice.
He couldn't let him talk.
He cut out the middleman.
He's going to finish the job, and give them exactly what they want: An expert on nano-technology: Diane.
So you're not going to tell me where we're going? Uh, I told you it's a surprise.
Okay.
Bring up the feeds for all metro intersection cameras and toll booths.
Steve Clemens took the black duffel out of the evidence locker.
Diane isn't answering her cell or home phone.
Oh, no, she's with him.
Cross-check with Steve Clemen's license plate.
- What's the number? - A DC plate, 4BMH359.
Come on! - Where? - Key Bridge into Virginia.
- When? - About fifteen minutes ago.
Re-task all available eyes in the sky.
Start tracking sequences.
I want a pinpoint.
Oh, my god.
Steve.
- Hope you like boats.
- I do.
A friend of mine chartered one.
Turns out he's not going to use it, so I thought we could take a little pleasure cruise.
- And I'll cook you dinner.
- Ooh.
- How's that sound? - I think it sounds very romantic.
Oh, I'm glad you think so.
What's the status on the vehicle.
Clemens' vehicle is stationary.
Two miles east on 60, royal avenue exit.
Copy that.
Jake, nothing's going to happen to Diane.
You pissed? Very.
Good.
Fan out, fan formation.
No one fires unless fired upon.
Oh, Steve.
This is so fantastic.
Let's go, let's go! - Jake! - You okay? - What are you doing here?! - Where is he?! I've got the champagne.
- Foley.
- It's okay.
- You shouldn't be here.
- Steve! Why don't you tell her why you really want her, huh? What's going on? Sorry, Diane.
I really like you, but you can't imagine how much they're paying me.
Jake, turn the boat around.
Oh, that's not going to happen.
Jake! - Are you okay? - Yeah.
Lousy.
Ugly.
Lying.
Bastard.
Lone.
Only.
Lonely.
Solo.
Sadly, badly and madly.
That's all I got.
It's your turn.
Okay, uh, I have, um "tush.
" That's it? Oh, uh, and, um "tush-y.
" - I guess you win.
- Hmm.
Again.
Whoo-hoo.
Oh, god, I feel like such an idiot.
Hey, could have happened to anybody.
Yeah.
Not just anyone allows themselves to get wined and dined and sold into white scientist slavery.
Well, that just, uh, proves how special you are.
Yeah.
I guess I should have listened to you.
You were just trying to save me from the world's most pathetic breakup.
Well, second most pathetic.
I win that one, actually.
I guess sometimes people, they don't want to see the truth even when it's sitting right in front of them.
Yeah.
Do you think you can take me? Oh.
Well, I-I don't know if I can compete with your brain.
Oh, yeah? You weren't even trying.
Well, apparently the only word you don't know is "mercy.
" I didn't see that one.
Seriously, Diane, y-you have an amazing mind.
Yeah.
Why can't I find a guy who's just after my body, huh?
Millions of microscopic computers interface with his biochemistry and make him stronger and faster, able to see and hear farther than normal men.
They give him the power to control technology with his brain.
Jake Foley - America's secret weapon.
He takes on missions no ordinary agent can perform.
He is the ultimate human upgrade.
I gave you a chance to do this the easy way.
Now, sooner or later, you're going to tell me where that bomb is.
I'm going to count to three.
Three.
Oh, you think you're tough? Oh, you think you're a bad-ass? Think again, pal.
Remind me never to piss you off.
It's time.
- Already? - Yep.
Ooh! This is a very serious matter concerning the personal safety of all 46,000 NSA employees.
The workplace is not in home.
There are rules that govern your behavior Will you just take one and pass 'em? Oh, but I collect seminar pamphlets.
Each of us is entitled to a safe and harmonious work environment.
But it is our - all of our-responsibility to maintain that balance.
Now, if somebody is doing something offensive, you have to speak up.
Be sure to say no.
If you smile or act unsure of yourself Would you feel harassed if I took this seat? Oh, maybe a little.
We'd all like to be able to joke about it, pretend it isn't a big deal.
Please don't sue.
I doubt it's actionable.
I'm sure you all have places that you would rather be, but if you just give me your undivided attention for half an hour, I will try to make this as painless as possible.
So, if you could please open your pamphlets to section number one: "Unwanted advances and lascivious eye contact.
" Now, as cited in Title VII, the relevant section civil rights act of 1964, a "person" is defined as one or more individuals Yeah, I'll be going for the E6 field promotion.
Yeah, they can say California is theirs all they want.
It still belongs to us.
Satellite remote.
No, honey.
The big gray one controls the tivo Yo quiero mas informaciones acerca de la siete quinze de diciembre.
Me gusta mucho We've got a problem.
Echelon monitor over Europe's detected a scrambled call.
- What are they using? - I've never seen it before.
Some sort of crystal logarithmic device.
- Initialize decryption.
- It's already running.
Record and process.
We'll see if the boys in crypto can make anything of it.
- Right away.
- What's the source? A mobile phone.
Triangulating now Vienna, Austria.
in untranslated Polish I don't know I'm sort of in the middle of something.
I'm talking about 5 million.
- Hmmm.
- 5 million.
Is that American dollars? Of course, American.
Give me day to tie up loose ends.
I'll be in DC on Monday.
Mr.
Lowenstein I'm afraid I have unfortunate news.
I'm not going to be able to do this as thoroughly as I had hoped.
I'm deeply sorry about the rug.
That's me.
Jake Foley, I'm in Tech Support.
Security Clearance: Low.
Very low.
Then one day, it all changed.
Life just got real interesting.
So, want to catch a bite after work? - That sounds great.
- Okay.
- Well, I'm off to catch the bad guys.
- Hmm, have fun.
Good weekend? Yeah! Very good.
You? Oh, pretty uneventful.
I laid around on my couch, watched a little football.
Well, a lot.
I don't know.
I think I may have watched all the football.
What-what'd you do? Oh, I went out to Wolftrap to see Alicia Keys.
- With who? - Uh, well, you haven't met Steve Clemens? No, no, I haven't had the pleasure.
Oh, he's in cryptology.
He's Eccentric? A little bizarre? I was going to say, uh, "nice.
" Hey, does he wear one of those colanders on his head to keep out the brainwave scanners? I'm not making this stuff up.
Those code-breaker guys are weird.
Yeah, and do they exhibit classic antisocial behavior like never leaving their couch all weekend? Hey, Sarah, we're finally talking.
I know, just when I was starting to develop a relationship with your voice mail.
Yeah, you guys are getting pretty close.
We are.
He knows just when to beep.
Uh, a little predictable, though.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Things have been crazy around here, but, uh I've wanted to talk to you.
Me, too.
Uh look, I-I know it's short notice, but my boss gave me his tickets to the Saint Sebastian's Fund-Raiser tomorrow night.
I know it sounds kinda lame No, no, you kidding? I love the Saint Sebastian's fund-raiser.
- So, I'll meet you there, then? - Okay, sure.
I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
C'mon, I have a job for you, Mr.
Roboto.
"Mr.
Roboto?" You're dating yourself, Kyle.
Sounds like a dying hippo.
It's actually a next-generation encryption program.
So far, it's stymied any attempt to unscramble with logic software.
It's kind of like a lock that changes shape whenever you put a key in it.
We were hoping you could interface with it, and - Ask it to be a little less difficult? - Yeah, something like that.
I'll give it a shot.
Sorry, it's still gibberish.
No, it's not.
It's Polish.
Oh.
His name is Vasily Koronkiewicz.
According to the telephone conversations we've intercepted, it's highly probable he's in the DC area.
This man is an efficient, dangerous mercenary who specializes in abduction.
He's been high on Interpol's radar since the disappearance of the Belgian consul last April.
Human trafficking.
Nice guy.
Capturing Vasily is our highest priority.
I want his 20 by the end of the day.
So? We gonna go shake down some snitches? Jake, please.
I haven't even finished my coffee.
- Transcription from linguistics.
- Thank you.
"Narodowy?" There's no translation for this word.
Oh, uh, here.
Let me.
Uh, National Bank of Poland.
There's a Branch on Florida Ave.
Hey, can you tap into their security cameras? I can if he tells me to.
Run Vasily's photo through facial ID for the past 12 hours.
All right.
What are we missing? What haven't we thought of? Well there's always LaFortunata.
What's LaFortunata? Why don't you show him? Speak only in short, terse phrases.
Under no circumstance are you to engage, got it? What is this? The dungeon where you keep the Pig Boy? Oh, oh, let me call you right back, all right? I got some company.
I know.
I know.
Will wonders ever start? Okay.
Okay.
Keep your chin up.
- Seymour.
- Mr.
Duarte! Do I hear that clarion call? Oh, my country needs me? Just put that stuff anywhere.
Vasily Koronkiewicz.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
He's a heavy, heavy hitter.
I was hoping some of your people might know who put him up to bat.
Okay.
Uh, yeah.
Have a seat.
Let me make a few hundred phone calls.
Uh, yeah, we're on kind of a tight schedule, Sy.
Whatever you can do? Thanks for your help.
Yeah, no need to front-load the gratitude, boys.
I haven't worked my miracles yet.
Eastern European crime factions, Asian triads, the guy on the corner with a pop gun under his jacket.
Economic globalization has turned it into one neat, big web, but the spider feels every little ripple.
Uh-huh.
And you're the spider? I could write a book if I hadn't signed a foot of paper promising that I wouldn't.
Between you and me, I started anyway.
You must be Jake.
- Yeah.
How'd you know? - Seymour LaFortunata.
Interpersonal liaising, as I'm sure Mr.
Duarte has informed you.
Apprehension of the unicorn killer, Ted Kaczynski, Mufari Allis-Khan ringing any bells? You helped capture all those guys? No, of course not, don't be ridiculous.
Wink-wink, nudge-nudge.
Kid's a little green, isn't he? Little slow on the old uptake.
- You read my mind.
- You see? You see that? You see that, Jake? That, that is my magic.
I read people.
Gonna have to cut this short.
Facial ID's got a hit.
- Vasily was at the bank.
- Wow.
It was nice to meet you.
Really nice to You, too.
You, too.
Go get 'em.
Maybe this could refresh your memory.
I'm sorry.
I can't help you.
Tell me, Mr.
Harcourt, would you prefer we wait until this guy's already committed a crime? You have reason to believe that the immediate seizure of the financial records in question is necessary to prevent the death of or serious bodily injury to a human being? We wouldn't be here otherwise.
Then pursuant to chapter 21a, subchapter 1, Part A of the unlawful acts section 2000-Double-A, you should have had no trouble obtaining a subpoena duces tecum.
Do you have a subpoena for me? I left it in the car.
You understand these are extraordinary circumstances.
In the time it would take for us to petition a judge, very bad things could happen.
And none of us want that on our heads.
In the absence of a subpoena, you can have the IRS issue an administrative summons vis-a-vis the bank secrecy act.
How about you just blink once for yes? Harcourt? What? If I were to open up a checking account here, what would I get, like a free toaster? We're done here.
Yes, we are.
Thanks for all your help.
I knew I brought you along for a reason.
Vasily received a wire transfer for $500,000 in cash.
Thanks to Jake, we have a routing number.
So, we should be able to track it back to the source, figure out who hired him.
Well, why would a pro like Vasily risk being paid in cash on American soil? He needs the money to complete the job.
I want to know who's footing the bill.
I want to know what he's buying.
And most importantly, - I want to know where he is.
- I'm on the routing number.
I'm on it now.
I've got your number.
One routing number, seven hours, 153 dead ends.
I feel like my eyes are bleeding.
I mean, actually bleeding.
Are my eyes bleeding? Uh no.
All systems normal.
No complications with the nanites.
Aren't you even going to do your penlight thing? You don't need an exam, Jake.
You gust need to unplug.
Do something without computers before you get permanent rasterburn.
Why don't you see a movie? A movie? You mean one of those big, bright things you sit and stare at for two hours? Oh, sorry.
Bad suggestion.
Just do something with a human.
You want to come over and play Boggle? What? You're human.
Yeah.
Um, I-I would like to, but I - Steve.
Hi.
- Hey, Hughes.
Um, uh, Steve Clemens, - this is Jake Foley.
Jake - Hi.
How you doing, Foley? Hi.
Never better.
So, I'm thinking dinner at Maggie's.
What do you say? - Mmm.
- White pizza.
- Freakishly white, still tangy.
- Mmm.
Uh, why don't you come, too, Foley? I'll buy the first pitcher.
Oh, you know, I had dinner last night.
And, uh, the whole novelty's kind of worn thin.
- So, you sure? - Yeah.
Yeah, you guys go ahead.
Like I was telling Diane, I just feel like crashing out.
Or working all night.
Hmm.
Where are you hiding, Mr.
Vasily? Oh, hey.
Looks like I've got a match.
We've already got four teams out chasing possibles.
Let's take this one.
Corner of 6th and F.
Do you even really need to sleep? I mean, with those nanites and all.
No, Kyle.
I just plug myself into an electrical outlet for a couple of minutes, and I'm good to go for the day.
Hey, I'm just asking.
I have no idea what it's like to have Kyle, I'm still human.
Okay.
I understand.
So when you jog, do you hear that slo-mo running sound from the six million dollar man? The one that goes - do-do-do-do-do You're dating yourself again, you know that.
Hello.
What do you think he's got in the bag? $500,000 worth of unmarked nonsequential bills.
This is Agent Duarte.
We have target confirmation on Sixth and F.
Requesting backup.
He looks anxious.
Any sign of the mark? No.
Damn.
Hey! You all right? - Yeah.
- Oh, god.
Oh.
Emergency, we have an agent down.
Repeat - we have an agent down.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Miss, hold on a second! - I'm Dr.
Diane Hughes.
- I got to get to the med lab right away.
- I need to check your bag.
Here, keep it.
The nanites accelerated hemostasis tenfold.
Fiberglass are already proliferated in position for a collagen synthesis.
- That's amazing.
- So, what's it feel like? Feels like a freak on parade.
It's not the circus, people.
You got a lot of guts, Jake.
But if it weren't for the nanites, I'd be stuffing them back inside of you.
What's the situation? Give me the bullet.
Mainly superficial damage.
Slashed through the primary derma.
Penetration was minimal.
No organs were punctured.
An inch deeper, though.
Can he get back to work? If it's nothing too strenuous.
He should be as good as new in a day or two.
Glad to hear you're okay.
Thanks.
Sat Ops in 15.
- We need to run a full diagnostic.
- I did.
Careful.
Platelets? BP? - He checks out.
- I'm fine, Diane.
Jake, I am so sorry that I was not here.
It will never happen again.
Late night? - Kind of, yeah.
- You and Steve? Yeah.
We caught a midnight show of the "Long Hot Summer" after dinner.
Huh.
What? Nothing.
What? Well, it's just, you guys are moving kind of fast, aren't you? Excuse me.
Lab.
Steve, hi.
Maybe not.
You've got the accent way wrong.
Yeah.
Orson Welles was a lot more mumbly.
Guess I'm fine then.
It's not like I was stabbed or anything.
More like a slash, really.
Kind of like a big paper cut.
No.
The nose, the nose, the whole fake except for the knife.
prosthesis thing.
No.
It was so fake.
It was better than Nicole Kidman's schnoze in 'The Hours'.
Are you kidding? No, no, no.
I'm not a Lee Remick man.
I'm a Joanne Woodward man.
Hi.
Yeah.
Sweep teams covered a four-block radius, but no further sign of Vasily.
We lost him.
Yeah.
I sure put the fear of god into him.
You should have seen the blood stain I left on his sleeve.
- That won't come out, you know.
- Any progress on the wire transfer? We traced it to a corporation in Warsaw, but it's a shell within a shell.
Jake? Oh, yeah.
I got it right here.
Okay, pay dirt on Corporation Number 156.
Coming up as publicly held, but the only name generated is "Wladimir Sticj".
- Who's that? - I don't know.
But I'm going to find out.
LaFortunata? Yeah.
LaFortunata.
Brave man.
It's hard work.
Novel approach, Jake.
I still hit the wall.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I will knock it down for you, my friend, all right? I admire your tenacity, Jake, but, I oh, but, hey, hey, I would stick as close to home base as you could if I were you.
Last guy who got his hands on Vasily - Karl Devereaux at MI-5 - ooh.
Ooh.
What? What about him? Vasily cut off his hands, and sent them to Karl's wife for Christmas along with a nice fruit cake.
Yeah.
I'll keep that in mind.
Hey, you're-you're the field agent, right? Despite your lack of a shoulder holster.
What's-what's up with that? Anyway, Jake never mind.
You know what? None of my business.
It's fine.
I'll find out soon enough about your guy.
Keep your chin up.
Jake.
Okay.
Hey, Sarah.
Jake, you made it.
Hey, you look What's the word? Fantabulous.
Thanks.
So do you.
Uh So, um, what do you want to do first? Well, uh, let's do the gambling thing? I've got a little money burning a hole in my Diane? Hey.
Hi.
- Hi.
- What a surprise.
Yeah.
Hi, Sarah.
- Hi.
- Uh, this is Steve Clemens.
- He's my, um - He works with us.
And apparently has an uncanny radar for where the fun is.
Steve went to St.
Sebastian's.
So, um, he was, uh, all city guard and-and-and high honors, right? I told you that in strict confidence.
I'm using everything I can to get her to like me.
Well So Anybody for basketball? Yeah, yeah.
Let's go.
Steve's really good.
Thanks.
I mean, yeah.
What? Do I have something in my teeth? Oh, no, no, no.
I just it's a little embarrassing.
I when I first met you, I-I thought there was, uh, something between you and Jake.
Really? No.
No.
We work together, and you know how those things are.
Those worlds - they don't mix.
They collide.
Right.
Business and Sorry.
Sorry.
But, uh but you and Steve work together? Yeah, but he's in a different division.
And you and Jake are in the same division.
Exactly.
So, uh, I.
T.
is in the same division as, uh, medical research? No.
No, no.
That wouldn't make any sense.
Uh, did I say 'division'? 'Cause really in the NSA, it's more like, um, like-like 'wings'.
No, thanks.
Nice going.
Thanks.
Ooh, look what Steve won.
So you and Diane - pretty sudden.
I know.
She's great, isn't she? So, you guys are friends.
Has she said anything about me? No, not really.
It's a winner! Thanks.
Steve, you can't keep winning everything.
I don't have enough room on my bed.
You can make some room.
Hey, uh, test your strength, fellows? - No, thanks.
- Come on.
Sure.
Sure.
Come on, Clemens.
I'm buying.
Here you go.
All right.
Now, there's a strong man.
Nice.
Okay.
Here goes nothing.
Oh! Foley! You're a beast.
Uh winner.
Are you all right? Cheater.
Woo! Churros.
I'll treasure it always.
Um, so what do you want to do next? Uh Is something wrong? Uh, Sarah, I have to go.
I'll call you.
What? Hey, Clemens, have you done any field work? - Just basic training.
Why? - You know what a code nine is? - Yeah.
- Call it in right now.
Code word, Vasily.
What's happ? No.
No! What are you doing? - I'm saving your ass.
- He's already down, man! Yeah.
Okay.
Open it up.
Why don't you guys go get yourselves some coffee? I didn't think to bring you any.
It's a diuretic.
Yeah, that would be problematic given the sparse modern confines of your new home.
I've been in worse.
I'm glad you approve.
Since twice you've assaulted an agent of the United States Government, I doubt you'll be seeing the outside world again for another ten to fifteen years minimum.
Oh, now that's got to bother you.
Must be really tough not having any people around to kidnap, huh? Foreign diplomats, British Intelligence Are you going to torture me, or are you just going to talk me to death? No.
We don't torture prisoners in this country, no matter how much we might like to.
That's a shame.
I find pain to be the most effective way of getting what you want.
Is that why you tried to hurt my friend, hmm? To get something from him? I cannot believe you tried to take him down alone.
Thank god Steve had your back.
Yeah.
This is healing nicely.
You know he's getting a commendation.
We're going to go out and celebrate tonight.
Even talk of making him an active field agent.
Diane, they don't just make anybody agents, okay? Don't be jealous, Jake.
There's plenty of room here for two heroes.
Yeah, and only one of us is paying alimony.
Go figure.
What are you talking about? Steve's divorced.
Yes, I know.
He told me.
They married right out of college, and she ended up loving her job a little more than she loved him.
Did he didn't tell you this.
Have you been checking up on him? Oh, please.
Come on, like I don't have enough to do? I'm analyzing money trails.
I'm pursuing dangerous mercenaries, uh come on.
Okay, okay, maybe I took a little peek into his personnel file.
Oh, I cannot believe you.
Me? Diane, me? Diane, why is a crypto guy carrying a gun to a carnival? Oh, Jake, half the people in this building carry guns.
Half the people in this country carry guns.
- There's something wrong with him.
- Oh, no, there is something wrong with you.
You've lost the ability to relate on a personal level.
Oh that is not true.
Yes, it is.
You don't even leave your house all weekend.
You go out, and you're completely awkward.
I saw how you were with Sarah.
Oh, god I ran out on her.
I totally forgot.
Do you see? What is going on? All right, we kissed, like, a week ago, okay, and-and I don't know.
Well, isn't that a good thing? I mean, you-you've liked this girl forever.
Diane, I have millions of microscopic robots running around inside of me.
Please tell me what the next step in this relationship is, because I have no clue.
I mean, the best I can hope for is that I don't lie to her, because she can never know the real me.
Nobody can ever know the real me.
Nobody except you.
Jake I'm here for you.
I'm not going anywhere but you got to stop cutting yourself off from everybody else.
There is life outside this building.
- Anything? - Nothing.
I'll keep at it, but I don't think he'll give up his bosses.
- No good for the rep.
- Lafortunata called.
- He says he wants to talk.
- Yeah, and talk, and talk - I'm on it.
- I'll go with you.
Bless you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Sarah, I-I am so sorry about last night.
- It was work.
This thing came up - Jake stop.
I get it.
You do? Look, we kissed and it was nice.
Yeah, yes, it was.
I don't think either of us expected there would be something there, but there was.
I felt it, and I thought you felt it, too but you don't have to keep coming up with these stories to cover the fact that you're hesitant.
I'm not.
I'm not.
It's I don't want to wreck this.
I don't either.
But I need to know how you feel, Jake.
I need you to be completely honest with me.
You want me to be honest? Totally.
Vladimir Sticj.
Your boy Jake put me onto him.
Not of any prominence, really.
He, uh tended bar at the beer hall putsch in 1923, spent the last 40 years buried in a less than ornate grave at the Bierkel cemetery.
- I don't follow.
- Just wait for it.
Now, technically, this guy is the sole shareholder of the same corporation that hired Vasily.
One of my fraternity brothers - Boola-Boola - has a-a cousin who opened a transistor factory in Gdansk.
Now, he says that this "corporation" is actually a front for local mafia, mostly, you know, ex-KBG and whatnot.
Well, why would a local syndicate send a mercenary to DC? Well, because because they're-they're obsessed with cutting edge technology - most recently, nano-technology.
Vasily was commissioned to retrieve a human subject to get them in the nanotech game.
Now, if you guys know anybody, you know, who fits that bill, now, I would recommend getting him well-protected - they got deep, deep pockets.
It is not going to end with this Vasily character.
Welcome.
You're welcome, guys.
You guys stop by any time.
Wow, uh that-that's unbelievable.
I I don't know what to say.
There's nothing you can say.
I mean, really - you can't tell this to anyone ever.
So, let me get this straight, um you're a secret agent at the NSA, and there-there are these tiny robots Computers, really.
Microscopic computers.
They're self-replicating, feed off Uh yeah, t-tiny robots.
And-and they got inside you, and, uh, now you have these, um superhuman abilities.
Okay.
I-I know this is a lot to take in, but I felt like well, I just I-I needed to be one hundred percent I just asked you to be honest with me, Jake.
Sarah You know what? It's been a blast.
At least I didn't lie Do you have to be so dramatic?! Get in! You got lucky.
Vasily was hired to retrieve a human subject linked to the nano-technology.
- I don't get it.
- Jake, he's here for you.
What? That doesn't make any sense.
He could've had me twice.
Why didn't he take me? Let's ask him.
Okay, wake up, Sleeping Beauty.
I got some more questions for you.
Hey.
You got a dead prisoner in there - you want to tell me what the hell happened? - That's impossible.
- No.
No.
No! We searched him completely.
No unauthorized personnel has been in there.
Then what authorized person has? The last visitor was Steve Clemens.
What? Diane's new boyfriend.
He's a dirty agent.
He's working with Vasily.
Once we caught him Steve had no choice.
He couldn't let him talk.
He cut out the middleman.
He's going to finish the job, and give them exactly what they want: An expert on nano-technology: Diane.
So you're not going to tell me where we're going? Uh, I told you it's a surprise.
Okay.
Bring up the feeds for all metro intersection cameras and toll booths.
Steve Clemens took the black duffel out of the evidence locker.
Diane isn't answering her cell or home phone.
Oh, no, she's with him.
Cross-check with Steve Clemen's license plate.
- What's the number? - A DC plate, 4BMH359.
Come on! - Where? - Key Bridge into Virginia.
- When? - About fifteen minutes ago.
Re-task all available eyes in the sky.
Start tracking sequences.
I want a pinpoint.
Oh, my god.
Steve.
- Hope you like boats.
- I do.
A friend of mine chartered one.
Turns out he's not going to use it, so I thought we could take a little pleasure cruise.
- And I'll cook you dinner.
- Ooh.
- How's that sound? - I think it sounds very romantic.
Oh, I'm glad you think so.
What's the status on the vehicle.
Clemens' vehicle is stationary.
Two miles east on 60, royal avenue exit.
Copy that.
Jake, nothing's going to happen to Diane.
You pissed? Very.
Good.
Fan out, fan formation.
No one fires unless fired upon.
Oh, Steve.
This is so fantastic.
Let's go, let's go! - Jake! - You okay? - What are you doing here?! - Where is he?! I've got the champagne.
- Foley.
- It's okay.
- You shouldn't be here.
- Steve! Why don't you tell her why you really want her, huh? What's going on? Sorry, Diane.
I really like you, but you can't imagine how much they're paying me.
Jake, turn the boat around.
Oh, that's not going to happen.
Jake! - Are you okay? - Yeah.
Lousy.
Ugly.
Lying.
Bastard.
Lone.
Only.
Lonely.
Solo.
Sadly, badly and madly.
That's all I got.
It's your turn.
Okay, uh, I have, um "tush.
" That's it? Oh, uh, and, um "tush-y.
" - I guess you win.
- Hmm.
Again.
Whoo-hoo.
Oh, god, I feel like such an idiot.
Hey, could have happened to anybody.
Yeah.
Not just anyone allows themselves to get wined and dined and sold into white scientist slavery.
Well, that just, uh, proves how special you are.
Yeah.
I guess I should have listened to you.
You were just trying to save me from the world's most pathetic breakup.
Well, second most pathetic.
I win that one, actually.
I guess sometimes people, they don't want to see the truth even when it's sitting right in front of them.
Yeah.
Do you think you can take me? Oh.
Well, I-I don't know if I can compete with your brain.
Oh, yeah? You weren't even trying.
Well, apparently the only word you don't know is "mercy.
" I didn't see that one.
Seriously, Diane, y-you have an amazing mind.
Yeah.
Why can't I find a guy who's just after my body, huh?