Jane by Design (2011) s01e03 Episode Script

The Birkin

Previously on Jane by Design.
Make no mistake about it.
I expect perfection.
And you will not make mistakes.
Have I made myself clear? Yes.
Winter Formal here.
Preview party here.
I'll take a spin around the dance floor, quick change in the bathroom, and then race over in time to prep for the fashion preview.
Gorgeous.
Whose is it? It's mine.
Yeah, who designed it? I designed it.
I think you might be cut out for the fashion business after all.
See you in the office, Jane.
Win the guy.
Impress the boss.
What could possibly go wrong? Rivalries in fashion are the rule, not the exception.
Armani vs.
Wintour, Valentino vs.
Dolce & Gabbana.
The list goes on and on.
But do our rivals give us something we least expect? Do they, in some small way, teach us who it is we really are? d I've my heart where my head should be d Light up the rest of me d 'Cause your dreams, they won't fall apart d Through the stops, the starts d And life is a work of art Can you believe it? No.
I can't.
What is it I can't believe, again? "Beau Bronn has done it again, "imbuing his latest line with a collection of" "stunning, nature-inspired from around the globe.
" But we did nature-inspired boho-chic accessories.
Try to keep up, Jane.
It's sabotage.
But I don't understand.
Why would someone do that? Because Beau Bronn is the spawn of Satan.
The man has been a thorn in my side ever since we met back at Parsons.
He's kind of handsome.
For a very, very not handsome guy.
Actually, on second glance, he kind of looks despicable.
He is.
Have you ever had that, Jane? Someone who feels like just to make you miserable? d Don't you d Don't you wanna ruin it d Don't you d Don't you wanna ruin it d Don't you d Don't you wanna see me flaunt d What I've got Can I help you? I sure hope so.
What are you doing? What do you want me to do? We talked about this, Lu.
It's over.
You always say that, you never mean it.
Yeah, well, this time I do.
Come on, Billy.
Don't be such a downer.
It was more than a fight, Lulu.
I'm done being secret, all right? What is that? This? Oh, this is my bag.
I got it at the secondhand store that has all of this really cute Well, it won't do.
Not for my assistant.
The bag you carry says who you are and who you want to be and that bag, that bag says things, well, that I don't care to repeat.
This bag, on the other hand, says that you, and by you, I mean me, are not to be messed with.
Is that A Birkin.
It's gorgeous.
And it's yours to use for the time being.
For a job well done at the preview party.
Did you just smell my Birkin? Sorry.
We're moving.
Right! I'm headed upstate for an auction.
I won't be back until late tomorrow.
Did you get my e-mail about the trunk show? Yes.
Yes, I did.
Private trunk show for Donovan's most exclusive clients, the cream of New York society.
And you have generously offered your townhouse for the event tomorrow night.
It's all under control.
Good.
Carter can handle the clothing.
I want you to unlock the door and greet the caterers.
But most important of all, do not let anything happen to my house.
Can you handle that, Jane? Yes.
Yes, I can.
Take care of the things on this list before I get back.
Of course.
Okay, I can do this.
Um, "Pick up dry cleaning.
" "Drop off the prescriptions.
Confirm travel.
" "Pick up flowers.
Break up with Brad.
Order champagne" "Break up with Brad"? What? Good morning.
New purse? Oh, it's not a purse.
It looks like a purse.
It's a Birkin.
Okay.
I don't know what that means, so I'll just assume it has some sort of cool, secret compartment or something.
Yeah, something like that.
You're in a good mood.
Mmm.
And you're up.
On your own! That's correct.
I think that's because I just can't be late for work on my first day.
Are you kidding? A job? Wait.
Are you joking? That's so great, Ben! But I thought you said the guy at the bank hired his cousin? The bank? No.
No, this job is much, much better than that.
Really? What is it? I apologize in advance.
For what? Shotgun! Why did your brother just call shotgun? Because he is the new assistant baseball coach.
Of? Of our school.
Hence the apology.
Let's get a move on, you two.
How great is this gonna be? The three of us at school.
Together.
Every day.
It's terrific.
Let's do this.
Do what? Go to class.
And I will go do what I was hired to do.
See you guys at lunch, right? I didn't think it was possible, but high school just got worse.
And this is your office.
Okay.
I can work with this.
I know it's small, but cutbacks.
Which is why you're here.
What do you mean? They let go of three highly dedicated, qualified, full-time teachers, and brought you in to fill the gaps.
They also laid off the front office assistant which is why I'm your cruise director today.
Oh.
Sorry about that.
So, you'll be assisting the baseball coach every day after school Awesome.
Right.
You're also responsible for covering three periods of P.
E.
every day.
Once a week you'll teach Driver's Ed and once a month, you'll be overseeing the Health and Human Sexuality unit.
Study up.
Who will I be splitting all that with? Sorry.
With whom will I be splitting all that? You.
You'll be splitting it with you.
Good luck, Ben.
Oh Human Sexuality.
How hard can that be? d You run it rich the carburetor d You gotta open d Open that choke What're you thinking about? Nothing.
Me, right? You're thinking about me, how irresistible and charming Please.
Get over yourself.
Actually, I was thinking about Buttons.
Buttons? Is that right? Yes.
It is.
Buttons.
Anyway, I gotta get to work.
And so do you.
Plus, I'd like you to be gone before the cleaning lady gets here.
You can't be late, can you? Not now, anyway.
What are you talking about? Well, you don't want to give Jane another chance to overshadow you, do you? That dress at the preview certainly blew Gray away.
I can handle Gray.
And Jane.
You sure about that? Bite me! Yeah, I already have.
Something has to be done about this, Lulu.
You've been single for, like, a million years.
It's been five months.
And I'm fine.
I'm happy like this.
Whatever.
It's becoming an issue.
For who? People.
They're talking.
They are? But don't worry.
I have a plan.
You have a plan? Yes, I do.
And you can thank me later because we are going to land you a man.
Great.
You're the prettiest, smartest, most popular girl at Whitemarsh.
Any guy here with half a brain in his skull would kill to be with you.
True.
Now, let's review your options.
Tim Dalton.
Pros.
Harvard legacy.
Cons.
That hair, for starters.
Brandon Miller.
Pros.
Biceps for days.
Cons.
Total chicken legs.
I mean, seriously, the boy has no calves.
And then there's Mike Murphy.
Pros.
Let's be honest.
Everything.
Cons.
Likes boys.
Since when? Since a year from now when he lands the lead in the musical and can't keep his eyes off the cute sailor in the chorus line.
You heard it here first.
Oh, my God.
Lulu? Can I grab you for a sec? Sure, Miss Shaw.
We'll reconvene later.
Whatever she said I did, she's lying.
You're not in here because of me, okay? I'm as in the dark as you are.
Relax.
Nobody's in trouble, just Lulu, take a seat.
Vice Principal Jenkins has something he wants to tell you both.
Mid-year class rankings are being posted today, and I'm happy to tell you that Lulu is number one.
And Jane is also number one.
We have a tie! A freaking tie? How is that possible? At this level, the differences in grade point average are minimal.
You're essentially neck and neck.
Which doesn't mean you two should go crazy on some sort of competition.
I know your relationship has been rocky.
That's one way of putting it.
This isn't that big of a deal.
Of course it's a big deal.
One of you could be our valedictorian.
Maybe, maybe not, who knows? There's no way to tell.
From this point forward Every little test counts.
Every quiz Maybe not every quiz.
Any fluctuation puts one of you on top.
Or not.
I just I hope you'll take it easy on each other.
I know this rivalry thing has gotten heated in the past, and I'm sure this development doesn't help.
But I'm asking you to not let this get personal.
Are we clear? Fine by me.
Of course.
As top students here at Whitemarsh, we can, and will, demonstrate exemplary behavior.
You can count on us.
Yes, we can! Good to know.
All right.
Scram.
The both of you.
We have guidance that must be doled and principaling that must be viced.
You're not helping.
Well.
I guess May the best woman win.
Oh, I will.
You can count on it.
You and me? It's on, Quimby.
Nice fake Birkin.
It's real.
That exam is one sixth of our grade.
I mean, really.
I might as well hand Lulu number one on a platter.
There's no way I'm gonna find time to study for this test.
Says who? Says this list.
Oh! Thanks to Gray.
"Break up with Brad"? Don't ask.
Do you see that? She's psyching me out already.
That girl is relentless.
Just forget about Lulu.
- It's easy for you to say.
- She's not all over you.
And how exactly is it that I made it here before you? Lower your voice.
What? Are you ashamed of me? Very funny.
Thank you.
What did take you so long to get in this morning? I left your place at the exact same time you did.
Can you please keep your voice down? Clearly you don't care about your reputation, but I do.
I happen to be very proud of my reputation.
Hmm.
I'm sure you are.
Wow, you are in a foul mood this morning.
I'm sorry.
I should go now.
Yo! Hey, what's going on? Nothing.
Come on, India.
Something's going on.
Surely you can tell me, can't you? It's Gray.
Okay? Are you happy now? No matter what I do, I will never earn that woman's respect.
That's not true.
Come on, she accused me of trying to take her job.
Yeah, well, technically, you did try to That's not the point.
Do you know how Gray got to where she is today? I've heard stories, yeah.
Exactly.
I was her assistant back then, and it wasn't pretty.
Gray didn't get to the top by being nice or playing by the rules.
She was relentless, ruthless, and completely fearless.
But now Now, when I show those very same qualities, when I use those tools, she punishes me for it.
In fairness, maybe Gray didn't think that you'd use the tools she gave you against her one day.
You know what? I'm not gonna apologize.
Mmm-mmm.
I took a page out of Gray's book, the way she taught me to.
And who does she reward? Jane.
Maybe you should just, I don't know, talk to her? Jane? No.
To Gray.
Why not have a real, honest to goodness conversation about what happened with her, maybe you'll get somewhere.
That's ridiculous.
Yeah, I'm sure the whole ruthless angle will work just as well.
Jane, I can't talk right now.
The auction is about to start, and You.
India.
What do you want? I 'd like to make things right between us, Gray.
I know I made a mistake Mistake? Is that what you call it? You tried to take my job.
Like I said, a mistake.
If anything, you should take it as a compliment.
Excuse me? I admire you, Gray.
I aspire to be you in every way.
And maybe, in pursuit of that, I got a little carried away.
Nice try.
But I'm not buying what you're selling.
I'm being honest, Gray.
I've always looked up to you.
It wasn't that long ago that it was me in here beside you.
I was your Jane.
Oh, India, how sweet.
But you're no Jane.
Oh, hello, darling.
Beau.
What? Not happy to see me? After the little stunt you pulled last week.
You stole my line.
Honestly, Gray, I would never do such a thing.
What are you doing here? Well, the same as you.
I'm here for the auction tonight.
No, what are you doing here in my hotel room? Oh, I just thought I'd stop by, and And what? And give you these.
You didn't sign them.
I couldn't find my pen.
Why are you doing this to me? You know why.
Sign the divorce papers, Beau.
He's so over me.
It's like Nick and I had this moment at the dance where something might have happened between us, you know, something real, and now, it's just gone.
He hasn't spoken to me once since that dance.
Do you think it's totally hopeless? Are you paying attention? Sorry.
What? Just tell me what I should do about Nick.
Honestly? I don't know, Janey.
I mean, if things are this complicated, maybe it's just not meant to be.
Maybe you're too different.
Maybe your lives just don't quite mesh.
You know? You've really given this a lot of thought.
You know what? You're probably right.
Like Nick was ever gonna go for me.
I was crazy to think that that would happen.
Anyway, I've got to get to work.
Are you sure you're okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I'll see you later.
d At night I'll hold your hand and never leave you in the dark d Come on I know a better way to go d I'm sure he'll be proud of you, Lulu.
You don't know my father.
He'll just say, "Study more, add another AP class.
" "Work harder.
" You're ranked first in your class.
No.
I'm tied.
And tied for number one isn't the same as being number one.
Not to my father.
I could give him a call.
It won't help.
But thanks, Miss Shaw.
So, tonight? Same time, my place? What? No dinner first? Very funny.
You know, I may look cheap and easy, but I have feelings, too.
What do you take me for? For someone who, like me, wants to keep things simple.
Am I wrong? You are d Dancing into the daylight Excuse me.
Coming through.
d Standing under the spotlight with you d With you I feel like a million-dollar d So, tonight? You know what? Forget it.
That's five dozen peonies.
Out of season? No, no, no, no.
They can't be out of season.
Can you just Great.
Now this.
Hello, India.
Jane.
Hi, no.
Yes.
Sorry, I'm still here.
Is there any flower that can be made to look like a peony? No? Okay.
Thanks a lot.
Out of season flowers, huh? That was always one of my favorites.
I always thought she did it on purpose.
Gray and her lists.
Is there something I can help you with? No.
But I can help you.
You may be Gray's new favorite now, but you screw up one thing on that list of hers, and you're off her list.
People like you and me, we're nothing to Gray.
We're disposable.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Sure you do.
No, I don't.
Gray likes me.
I know she does.
In fact, just yesterday, she gave me this bag.
It's a Birkin.
Yeah.
And you know, you don't give somebody a bag like this unless you like them, you know? Unless you think they're doing a good job.
Which I am.
You think that bag means something? Well, it doesn't.
And I got a 2009 Chanel clutch to prove it.
Trust me, Jane.
It won't last.
We'll see about that.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a trunk show to plan and some more errands to do.
Hmm.
You're right, Jane.
We will see about that.
d Hey d I'm gonna push through it d Keep pushing through it Thank you for coming.
I'd never get all of this stuff done in time on my own.
Hey, what are friends for? Have I ever told you that you're the best? Many times.
Okay, let's hit it.
d Just half empty only wanna be cool d I got a remedy Just keep it pushing Don't look back d Just keep your classy on Classy like a Cadillac Yes, I'll be there to let you in.
And two trays of hors d'oeuvres should be fine, the party's gonna be really small.
Okay, thanks.
Go, go, go! That's New York to London, yes.
London to Dubai, yes.
On to Hong Kong, yes.
Coach, yes.
Oh, wait! No! No, no, no, no! Thanks.
Please, please, please! We need peonies.
Oh, come on, we'll do anything.
Anything? Anything within reason.
d Look inside and see only the thing that you can see d You look outside me and there's plenty of 'em d And when you see the glass always see it half-full d There's no time to wait d You know you got somewhere to be d Look inside and see only the thing that you can see You sure you don't want me to stay? I can handle it from here.
Here goes nothing.
d Keep pushing through it d Keep pushing through it d Even if it seems impossible d You wanna go on slow d You got to push through it d Just keep pushing through it d Hi, um, you must be Brad.
In the flesh.
Come on in.
So, as I mentioned on the phone, I work for Gray, and What What is this place? Oh, it's a model apartment.
The agency puts us all up together.
Oh! So, you're all models? Male models? Every one of us.
Oh, all living together.
That's so nice.
Um, listen, I should probably just, you know, get to the point here.
I have to be at a trunk show in, like You're not cold without your shirt on, are you? No.
No.
Okay.
Um, Brad, I'm I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this, but the thing with you and Gray? It's over.
Over? I'm really sorry.
Did she say how over? She didn't really give me a percentage.
So, it's not definite? Uh, well, I No, no, Jane, Jane.
It can't be over.
Just the other night she told me that she loved me.
Uh, really? She said that? Well, she said, "I love you in that shirt.
" But, there was still an "I love you" in there.
I had been waiting for that.
Gosh darn it.
Brad, look, a guy like you, with all that going on.
You could have any girl you want.
You're a catch.
And if Gray can't see that about you, then you'll just have to show her how wrong she was about you.
You really think so? I do.
Thank you, Jane.
Ooh! Anytime.
Mmm! Oh.
Yeah I really have to go now.
You busy? Actually, I'm Man, I am beat.
How was your day? Um, it was good.
How was your day, Ben? It was a little weird being back here and all.
Do you think it's weird for Jane to have me here? Probably.
I mean, look at it from her perspective.
You're her brother, but you're also her guardian.
She's gonna be self-conscious.
You know, for Jane, high school isn't the nonstop parade of ego gratification that it was for you.
Yeah.
Yeah, I get that.
It's just I'm just having these feelings about Okay.
Ben Yeah? Ben, I'm not your counselor.
Or your therapist.
I have work to do.
Right.
Right, sorry.
Okay, so I'll just let myself out.
See you tomorrow.
Can't wait.
I'm gonna win you over, Rita Shaw.
You just wait and see.
Do you have this in a double zero? A double zero? Does it look like I wear an actual size to you? I'm really sorry, we don't have a double zero, but that's a terrible oversight on our part.
I think I can help, though.
Um, okay, let's try this.
Okay.
Here you go, just put your hair out.
Turn around.
Just cinch this teeny-tiny little waist here.
Okay.
Now, take a look at that.
Perfect.
Turn around.
Thought everybody was here.
Uh, they are.
Brad! What are you doing here? I'm doing what you told me to do, Jane.
I'm gonna show Gray she was wrong about me.
What? I No.
I did not tell you Oh, my God, I did tell you that, didn't I? Okay, look, you have to leave.
No, no, I'm not going anywhere.
Not until I talk to Gray.
Gray isn't here.
And she won't be back for hours.
Okay, I'll wait.
For as long as it takes.
Brad, I'm really sorry, but I'm not going anywhere, Jane.
Okay, you know what, come here.
Jane, don't you think it's sort of weird for me to wait up in her room? No, it's sexy.
Sort of.
Just wait in here.
Okay? Please, Brad.
Do me this one, teeny-tiny little favor and then we can talk about Gray.
Okay? Okay.
Okay.
It's just that being up here brings back so many memories.
That teddy bear is actually a video camera.
We used to put the chair in front of the mirror, and then she Okay, you know what? I really don't want to know any more.
Jane, we have a situation! I know.
I'm handling it.
Uh, not that situation.
This situation.
This is bad.
This is very, very bad.
Oh, no, no, no! No smoking! Carter! Carter! Oh, Jane, it was awful.
It was too late for one maxi dress, but I managed to save the rest.
Oh! Just get the clothes out of here.
And I'll take care of the rest.
Okay? If we don't get this situation handled before Gray gets here, we're both toast! Go, Carter.
Go! This is better than I expected.
India! What are you doing here? Oh, you know, just thought I'd stop by and see how things were going.
Oh, it's going great.
Really? I'm sure Gray'll be thrilled with what you've done to the place.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, and the client seems very entertained.
Oh, no.
I'll be right back.
Isn't this a great turnout, guys? Excuse me! Excuse me! d Come on, let's do it Party till the break of dawn d Come on, let's do it now d Come on, let's do it d Come on, let's do this Give me that.
Who wants a shot? You paying attention, Billy boy? Yeah.
I'm winning Not for long.
It's rally time.
Boom! Dude, you can't say "boom" when you hit a ground ball single.
Somebody's getting nervous.
No.
I'm getting bored.
You got someplace else to be? Not really.
Shouldn't you be at a roller rink or something? Seriously, dude, what am I, in third grade? Roller skating is fun.
Since when do you roller skate? I don't.
I get blisters.
And couples skate makes me uncomfortable.
So, what's the new spot to take a date these days? I wouldn't know.
Is there a girl you're interested in? There was for a little while.
But it didn't work out.
Oh, really? What happened? I don't know.
I guess we were just too different.
Maybe you should take her roller skating.
I've seen your backwards skate.
It's not that bad.
Hmm.
Too many people would see us.
What does that mean? I got to take this.
I'm in the middle of a comeback here.
Hey! What's up? Billy? Billy? Billy? Billy, can you hear me? What's going on over there? It's total chaos.
I need help.
I I don't know what to do.
Gray's due back in less than two hours and I'm in over my head.
Literally.
Just hang tight.
I'll be right there.
Okay.
I got to go.
I just remembered a test.
A night test.
I got to go.
Now.
Bye.
That's a forfeit! This still counts as a win for me.
Boom! d I bet you wanted me to toe the line d Well, it makes me bad d I never want to be the kind of guy d That makes you wait d For certain we could get by with just one lie d that's on your lips d I don't wanna live that kind of lie d You're cute.
And I'm India.
Hey, nice to meet you.
I'm actually looking for Jane.
Have you seen her? Jane, Jane, Jane What's so great about Jane? Yeah, but do you know where she is? There you are! Janey, nice party.
I have no idea how this happened.
And Gray is less than an hour away.
I'm totally and completely screwed.
I have no idea how to get rid of all of these people! I got this.
Wow.
I'm impressed.
Hey, by the way, best trunk show ever.
Great.
Forty minutes? Oh, we can do it.
Boom! d Uh-huh! d Right d We got to get started d We got to make it right d We're gonna keep on going d All day into the night d You know we got to work it d You really got to move d We have the will to do it d We got the attitude d All right d All day into the night d We got to get it d I said let's go d Hey Oh, hell, we did it.
Yes! Time to spare.
Oh, my God! It's Gray.
She's early! Oh, I'm on it.
Get her Oh, God Hello, Gray.
How was your trip? Good.
That'll be all.
Oh, no! Oh, no! No, no, no, no! Gray, I'm so sorry.
But Oh, gosh! He wouldn't take no for an answer.
Hey, cupcake.
Thanks.
All-night study session, huh? Uh, yeah.
Totally.
It was a very, very long night of studying.
I remember this bad boy.
Put me to sleep many a night, too.
So how's the internship going? Not getting in the way of class, is it? Nope.
Everything's good.
I'm sorry if I was weird about you coming to work at school.
It's fine.
I get it.
To be honest, it's kind of weird for me having you there.
Really? No.
I kind of like it.
I'm happy that you're happy.
And I think I know it's the perfect job for you.
It is, isn't it? Mmm-hmm.
Look, I realize it's a little awkward for you having me there.
No, it's You know what? Before today, Billy was the only one I had at that school and now I have you there, too.
It's nice.
All right.
If sine theta equals three fifths, what is cosine theta? The cosine theta is Ugh! I have no idea.
We'll come back to that one, huh? You know what? I'm not even gonna write my name on this test.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
You really should.
That's three points right there.
You're gonna pull some totally obscure equationey out of nowhere, right? and save yourself from pre-calc fatality.
Trust me.
Just have a little faith, kid.
It's all up here.
I know.
I'm just tired.
I mean, between work and school and keeping up some semblance of a social life.
Shut up.
I said semblance.
I don't know.
I just feel Spread thin? Yes.
And there's that.
She's perfect and smart and beautiful and totally ready to crush me on this test.
You know what I think? What? I think that maybe, just maybe, Lulu Pope is a little stressed out, too.
Now, I know that Lulu has gone out of her way to be not so nice to you all the time, Janey, but sometimes there's more going on with people than we realize.
You of all people should get that.
You're right.
I mean, maybe in some weird parallel universe, Lulu and I actually have something in common? Yeah, maybe you do.
All right, there's no more avoiding it.
It's test time.
You're gonna do great, Janey.
Thank you.
You coming? In a sec.
Hey, Lulu.
Good luck.
Thanks.
You, too.
Hey.
Go away! Rough night? I wouldn't know, not remembering it and all.
Ouch.
It's fine, I've felt worse.
Just go.
Drink that, you'll feel better.
Come on now.
Drink it.
Can you please stop talking and leave? Your ridiculous accent is hurting my head.
You know, India, the whole closed-off bad-girl thing is super hot, but it's also okay to let people be nice to you.
Just go.
I'm disappointed in you, Jane.
I know, and I'm sorry, but I I don't believe in sorry.
I believe in doing what one is told.
I apologize for the apology And you failed.
Do you know what that means? The Birkin? Oh.
Let's go.
Hello? Hi, Brad.
Yes, she just left.
No, no, please don't cry.
It's gonna be okay, Brad.
There'll be other women.
This relationship just isn't meant to be right now, okay? What's going on there? Oh, you know, she's just ending things with a very hot male model.
I'm talking Gucci hot.
Really? A male model? Mmm-hmm.
Lulu, wait up! Hey, are you okay? Not really.
But we're done, right? So what do you care? I do care, Lu.
I do.
Really? Lu, come on.
What's going on? What's going on is I completely tanked my pre-calc test today.
My dad is riding me all the time about my grades.
And to be honest, I don't even care because I miss you.
I screwed up everything, Billy, and I am so sorry.
Lulu.
I just want to be with you.
I don't care who knows.
My dad.
My friends.
It doesn't matter anymore.
I want to make this work.
Whatever it takes, Billy.
I just I just wish you would give me a chance to show I have to tell Jane.

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