Jane the Virgin (2014) s04e13 Episode Script
Chapter Seventy-Seven
1 NARRATOR: Friends and foes, Jane and Rafael were finally back together, and the relationship was blooming.
Not blooming? Jane's writing.
So she decided to go back to a class.
The structure, having assignments that works for me.
And speaking of overcoming career hurdles, Rogelio was having trouble getting the legendary River Fields to agree to costar with him in the American version of The Passions of Santos.
- Probably because of this - Attack her.
(GROWLS, BARKS) (SCREAMS) Also painful, Rafael's family situation.
See, his sister Louisa left with all of his money, and it turns out, she was also the key to finding his birthparents.
And speaking of family drama, Petra was being investigated for killing her sister, and her lawyer J.
R.
was being blackmailed into tanking Petra's case.
But now, they're working together, and doing other things together.
But OMG, the blackmailer threatened J.
R.
's mother, who has Alzheimer's.
And in other, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad news (GRUNTS) (GASPING) We took an X-ray of your chest to check the rib, and we found a lump in your breast.
Which, my friends, is where we left off.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Over the years, Jane Gloriana Villanueva made a few trips to the hospital.
Where did you get your degree from, the University of Dumbass? My daughter said that she is a frickin' virgin, so do another damn test.
And each time, her mother was by her side.
Five more minutes of pain for a lifetime of happiness.
He's gonna be okay, hon.
But this time, the tables had turned, and it was Jane who needed to be there for her mother.
It's gonna be okay, Mom.
Just because it looks suspicious doesn't mean it's cancer, okay? We'll get the biopsy results in three to five days.
It's fine, we'll watch some old novelas, yeah, - play cards - XIOMARA: Wait.
âWeâ? Don't you have your new writers group? Please, I'll start another time.
I'm going to help you take your mind off of this.
Me, too.
I'm pushing my meeting.
With River Fields? No, you're not.
- But this - You're going, end of story.
Now, listen to me.
If you are all hovering around me, I am gonna lose it, so (EXHALES) We are not gonna worry until we have something to worry about.
Understand? Absolutely.
We're not gonna worry until there's something to worry about.
Got it.
Oh.
Right.
I'll get that for you.
And I'll help you fix it.
Great.
So, I guess I'll just head to my writers group.
Have fun.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
Good luck with that.
Like I said.
LISA: Jane? Oh, sorry.
I was just welcoming you to the group.
Thank you.
Nice to meet everyone.
And telling them how you published a novel.
A novel that didn't sell well.
And I'm a little blocked, so I wanted to get back to basics.
And-and JJ loves this group, so here I am.
Well, we are glad to have you.
And trust me, we've all been blocked.
And it sucks.
Ugh, I know.
Plus, I used up the one great story I had to tell.
Well, you don't have to stop telling your story just because you've already told it.
True.
Look at Jamaica Kincaid, or, uh, John Updike.
They return to the same themes, relationships, even characters.
LISA: Exactly.
It's your story.
If you want to tell it again, you can.
Just tell it a different way.
Maybe from a different perspective.
That's actually a good assignment.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And this is a good group.
This week, let's write about an event in our lives, from the perspective of a side character.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Love that.
Yes.
Might I suggest one of my favorites? Girls, hurry up, we're leaving for lunch.
(PHONE CHIMES) NARRATOR: Ooh.
A text from her favorite side character.
(SAXOPHONE PLAYING) Or should I say âside piece.
â Ready for lunch, Mommy.
(SAXOPHONE STOPS) Thank you for taking them.
Raf's busy and I couldn't get either of the nannies on such short notice.
See, that's because you only have two.
You should always have three nannies on-call at all times.
Hilarious.
The comedy world really needs more women.
I don't know if you've considered it as a career.
Why are you so dressed up? What? I'm not.
(CHUCKLES) Look, I'll call you when I'm done.
MATEO: Look! I have a loose tooth, and it's hanging on by a string.
Want to see? - Ew.
- Gross.
XIOMARA: Come on, guys.
Lunch! Mom, come and eat.
We'll finish the dishwasher after.
I want my tooth to come out now.
(MATEO LAUGHS) Bite into an apple.
I'm telling you, it'll come out.
Come on, take a bite.
(APPLE CRUNCHES) It fell out! Mateo, your first tooth! (SHOUTS) (LAUGHS) Yeah.
And I'm gonna get money from the tooth fairy tonight, and you're not.
JANE: Mateo.
You're being rude.
NARRATOR: Yeah, I'd be careful bragging about money to children with two nannies.
We don't care, we're very fortunate.
And there's no such thing as the tooth fairy.
- What? - Of course there is.
She comes in the night, and brings you money.
That's your mommy, silly.
Your mommy is the tooth fairy.
Are you, Mommy? Of course I am not the tooth fairy.
In fact, that's a ridiculous rumor that the tooth fairy spreads so that the kids don't go looking for her.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, right.
It's true.
And you're falling for it.
Hmm.
See, the tooth fairy has been alive since the beginning of time.
ELLIE: Not possible.
No one can live forever.
Yeah.
Everyone dies.
Mateo, did I ever tell you about the time that I saw the tooth fairy? No.
I was about six years old.
It was the middle of the night.
She floated through the window.
She wore a pale green dress, and she had long, silver hair and pointy ears.
Really? Absolutely.
And when I looked at her, there were these sparkles floating all around her.
Then what happened? Well, I actually talked with her.
Dad? What's going on? I-I just I-I'm just so scared, Jane.
I know you're scared, Dad.
I am, too.
But we are not going to worry until there's something - to worry about, remember? - I'm already worried.
You're gonna have to pull it together in front of Mom.
So use those incredible acting skills, and act like you aren't.
Got it? Yeah.
I'll just You'll just focus ur energy on something else.
Like convincing River to do your show.
I mean, that's something you'd normally be obsessing about.
Hmm? Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll obsess about that, then.
Thanks, Jane.
Of course, Dad.
Now, come on, fix your face.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Friends, if Petra seems a little overly made-up to see her lawyer, I'll remind you the last time she saw her.
(KNOCKS) Hi.
Hey.
You remember my mom? Yes.
Of course.
(CLEARS THROAT) Hi, Aida.
So, what's up? My mom suddenly said she remembered what the guy who left the note looked like.
So I had a sketch artist work with her.
(AIDA HUMMING) Yeah.
Not exactly useful.
Sorry I made you rush over here.
(HUMMING CONTINUES) Sorry.
PETRA: No.
That song sounds so familiar.
What's it from? I can't remember.
Oh.
That's okay.
So, listen, do you want to, uh, drop your mom off, and we can meet up later to strategize? Maybe my place? Let me walk you out.
Absolutely.
Yes.
So, listen, the other night Yes? It was a one time thing.
This isn't some epic romance where we're gonna, like, ride off into the sunset.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) I mean, obviously.
I know that.
Then why are you all dressed up? This? Oh, because (SCOFFS) I have a meeting right after this.
- Oh.
- (LAUGHS) What, you thought this was for you? Please.
Why don't you focus on finding out who's trying to put me in jail instead of on what I'm wearing.
Hmm? Wow.
Why are you so dressed up? I am not dressed up, Krishna! Why are you so dressed up? No one's coming here to see the assistants.
I just dropped the girls off with your nanny.
Oh, good.
Thank you so much.
Of course.
And look, there's no easy way to say this.
Um Someone told your kids there's no tooth fairy.
Yeah.
I did.
Uh, what? Well, the girls asked me about it recently, and I was honest with them.
I practice radical honesty with my children.
What? I told them not to say anything.
I obviously don't want them to be those jerks who out the tooth fairy at school.
Well, unfortunately, they are those jerks.
They outed the tooth fairy to Mateo.
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
I tried to convince him that the girls were wrong, but he wouldn't listen, and they were - LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Tough.
- firm.
I'll talk to them.
Don't worry.
- NARRATOR: Ooh, un.
Yes! I knew Petra - would be a great side character to write.
Come on, Jane, you've got this.
Stay in the zone.
Googling side characters? So much for not worrying until there's something to worry about.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it was a pretty big storage unit.
Anything from the convent? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To remind you I was looking for records from the orphanage, uh They were sold? Sold to who? Luisa Alver? Nothing yet.
And I have no idea where she is.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To remind you again Are you at the mental hospital? - I'm here, but Luisa's gone.
- What? She checked herself out and she didn't leave any contact info.
But look at this.
Whoa.
Luisa's deposition after she artificially inseminated me.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Last reminder Nice to meet you, Ms.
Villanueva.
Are you ready for your insemination? (SNORING) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: In other words, our origin story told by a side character.
And what can I say, friends? It felt like a sign.
This might be the point of view I've been looking for.
My point is, this meal has exceeded my expectations.
Thank you so much for giving me a second chance.
Well, you seemed genuinely sorry in your e-mails and phone calls and tweets.
And I read the script for the Passions of Steve.
Yes, and I'm just thrilled that you loved it.
Oh, love, that's a strong word.
Let's just say I didn't hate it.
Okay, I'll take that.
But I did hate the character of Brenda.
She's the worst kind of one-dimensional, stereotypical female character.
I mean (STAMMERS) âHeaving bosomâ? And, oh, âBeautiful, but doesn't know it.
â âEffortlessly thinâ? Are you freaking kidding me? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Remember, Ro, you need her to agree to do the project.
And I will happily adjust the character according to your criticism, River Fields.
You want a smaller bosom? Done.
And starting now, Brenda is beautiful, but she does know it.
And, of course, she doesn't have to be thin.
She could be a Midwest medium.
Go ahead and eat those fries.
Okay.
Look, my-my point was, she needs characteristics.
A point of view.
What does she want? Well, she wants Steve to love her.
What else? French fries? Okay, look.
If I get the writers to give her a âpoint of viewâ would you agree to do the project with me? Well, I mean, I'd have to see how these changes are implemented.
But it's definitely a step in the right direction.
- Really? - Really.
Look, my agents want to make this work, and, honestly so do I.
That's so great.
Bananas foster, Madame? Oh! - That is my favorite.
- I know.
That's why I ordered it ahead of time - especially for you.
- Ah.
Allow me.
(SCREAMS) Ah! (ROGELIO GASPS) My eyebrows.
How could I have burned her signature eyebrows off? Look, you're doing one of your crazy baskets.
People always love them.
Well, this is one of my best yet.
Hey, guys.
Wow.
Nice Ropology basket.
How's the, uh, dishwasher? Still broken.
It's not the valve.
It's getting enough water.
(RINGTONE PLAYS) It's the doctor's office.
Hello.
Yes, this is Xiomara de la Vega.
Oh.
Yes.
My billing address is 1312 Mockingbird Terrace.
(SIGHS) Thank you.
All right.
Well, I'm just gonna go work on my writing assignment for a bit.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Remember.
You can't worry until there's something to worry about.
(SIGHS) NARRATOR: Good idea.
No more computer, Jane.
Focus on something else.
Legal mumbo jumbo, legal mumbo jumbo Oh.
Here's where our story starts.
âThe night before the insemination was horrible for me.
You need to know that.
â Actually, let's have Luisa tell it.
I liked that point of view exercise.
LUISA: But it didn't start out horribly.
Allison and I had sex that night and we both orgasmed twice.
I mean, that's what makes this all so crazy.
Well, not the only thing.
Anyway, Allison peed so she wouldn't get a UTI, and then she came out of the bathroom and said Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't think I can make it to your brother's party.
What? Really? Well, yeah.
You wore me out, baby.
Yeah, I did.
(LAUGHING): Yeah, you did.
LUISA: So, I went to Rafael's party alone.
But I was missing my wife the whole time.
Even when she walked in.
ROSE: You look beautiful.
LUISA: And by âshe,â I mean my most recent stepmother, Rose.
Where's my father? Doesn't get in till tomorrow.
Congratulations.
I heard you got married.
Where's your wife? I'd love to meet her.
She's resting.
We had quite the afternoon.
Sexually, I mean.
I can imagine specifically.
(CHOKED UP): I should find my brother.
NARRATOR: Hey, check out the side character in the mermaid costume.
Hey.
What are you doing? Get in the pool.
I need you on that rock.
- I could kill him.
- Mm-hmm.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, sorry.
Back to Luisa.
LUISA: It was a ridiculous party, but I wanted to be there for Rafael.
It was a big deal for him.
And he was going through a hard time.
- Petra stood by me.
- I know.
But that doesn't mean that you owe her your whole life.
RAFAEL: Thanks, Lu.
Now go home to your wife.
LUISA: So, I did.
(GASPS) (BOTH GASP) My God.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Luisa, please.
I asked you about her last week, and you told me that I was paranoid, crazy like my mother! So, yeah.
That was the night before the insemination.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, we all know what happened next.
Okay.
All done.
My daughter said that she is a frickin' virgin, so do another damn test.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Hi, Jane.
I brought the girls over As soon as I heard about that mean trick they played on Mateo yesterday.
What mean trick? Girls.
Sorry for lying to you about the tooth fairy.
Yeah.
She's totally real.
I don't believe you.
I promise, there's really a fairy who flies around and collects teeth and gives you money.
I thought you said she can't fly around the world.
- She can.
- Like Santa Claus? (BOTH LAUGH) Santa Claus.
- There's no Santa Claus? - Seriously? Of course there's a Santa Claus.
Are you kidding? Girls, we'll see you later.
- Are you freaking kidding me? - I'm sorry.
I don't care if you're sorry, Petra.
You're ruining my son's childhood.
- Jane, I hardly think - He doesn't need to be questioning these things at his age.
His life should be beautiful and magical.
The girls weren't thinking.
Exactly, because they're five, which is why you shouldn't have told them the truth, but since you did, here's a recommendation: keep them inside for the holidays so they don't ruin it for everyone else! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Friends, the only thing worse than having a sick child Actually, there is nothing worse.
PETRA: Alba? Hi, there.
The girls were dying for some more sparkly turtles, so I'm-I'm just gonna grab these.
Help yourself.
Look, is, uh, Jane okay? She seems so upset and-and I know why, but I just wish there was something I could do.
Thank you.
It's tough.
But we're all hanging in there.
Everyone's upset about it? Yes, of course.
I just didn't realize it was such a big deal.
A big deal? Wait.
What are you talking about? How the twins told Mateo the tooth fairy isn't real.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And Santa.
Right.
Yes.
She's okay.
Thank you.
But what are you talking about? Alba, please.
I'm family, too.
NARRATOR: Which brings us back to our origin story.
LUISA: Anyway, that was my state of mind the day of the insemination.
Wrecked.
Destroyed.
Just playing and replaying what happened with Allison.
Nice to meet you, Ms.
Villanueva.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hey, there's that mermaid again.
Hi.
Yes.
LUISA: I did say her name.
I remember that, and she said yes.
And sure, I was rattled, but I pulled myself together, and went to see my next patient.
I had the nurse unfreeze Rafael's sperm.
LUISA: And I suddenly realized my horrible mistake.
And I panicked.
So, I should probably let you know that, statistically, your odds actually aren't that great.
Well, what exactly are my chances? Mmm it's hard to say.
It's not an exact science.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I disagree.
(SIGHS) All right, all done.
You can go.
Well, aren't I supposed to lay still for ten minutes? Yes.
Yeah.
That will help, too.
(DOOR OPENS) The next two weeks, waiting, it was torture.
And then I got the phone call.
Yes, this is Dr.
Alver.
JANE: Dr.
Alver, I need to see you.
There's some crazy doctor saying I'm pregnant.
Ms.
Villanueva, I think you should come in right away.
I felt like I was gonna be sick.
And then she came, with her mother.
The reason the test came back positive is I accidentally inseminated you two weeks ago.
- BOTH: You what?! - And, man, her mother went off on me.
That woman was fierce.
SOFT GUITAR Which I respected, you know? A fierce mother.
I used to have that.
She was everything to me.
But she went crazy, and Sometimes I think my life, my path, it's just another version of hers.
Rafael? - Hey, you okay? - Yes.
But I'm reading the deposition, and Luisa's talking about her mother, and I remembered Michael telling me that her mom lived out the rest of her life in this place with these glowing fish Long something.
Long thorne, maybe.
I see a place in Florida called Longbourne.
Maybe Luisa went to escape there, too.
You always told me that she was haunted by her mom.
Yeah, she was.
I can't imagine how hard it must have been for her to lose her.
Jane, are you okay? Yes.
Go to Longbourne.
Maybe you'll find her.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know.
Straight out of a telenovela, right? - Which brings us to - River.
Hello.
Thank you for agreeing to see me.
I must say, I didn't think it was possible, but you are even more beautiful without eyebrows.
And really, who needs them anyway? You know? They have no function.
Says the man with two functioning eyebrows.
It's okay.
People make mistakes, right? When you've got these bushes, brush fires happen.
Wow.
She's being awfully understanding about this.
And besides, my eyebrows are insured for six figures by Lloyd's of London.
So, thanks to you, I actually made money from this little mishap.
And I really loved the apology basket.
I'm so glad you liked it.
You said you had a few script notes.
Wow.
You really have a lot of strong opinions about ladies.
Which I admire.
So you'll lose the word âshrillâ? Lost it.
Consider her voice âprovocativeâ.
âBusinesslike.
â - Done.
- Great.
I'm feeling so much better about the Brenda character overall.
Perfect! So you are ready to sign on? We're definitely getting close.
(CAMERA SNAPS) How did they know we would be here? I normally tip them off, but I promise I didn't this time.
Actually, I did.
It's always good to be photographed.
If you and I are gonna work on this project together, why not get some early buzz going.
I like the way you think.
JANE: Here's what I think.
There are always gonna be people who pick away at what you believe.
But you have to have faith.
So it's like having faith in God? A little.
But also different, in important ways.
So basically, related but not that similar at all.
- I'm confused.
- Don't be.
Just trust that the tooth fairy and Santa Claus exist.
Look I used to put my tooth in this little box, and I remember asking my mom the same question, and she gave me the same answer that she gave you.
Is the tooth fairy really real? Of course she is.
I saw her once.
She was wearing a pale green dress, and she had long silver hair and pointy ears and sparkles all around her.
And she won't give you anything unless you put your tooth under your pillow.
Fine.
But I'm gonna stay up all night and see if she's real or if it's you.
Sounds fair to me.
Mwah.
Ah.
Hey, Abuela.
Oh.
I went off on her, and I shouldn't have.
(PHONE RINGS) Hi, Ma.
No.
I mean yeah, but my doorknob is loose.
Yeah, and I left the toolkit at your house, and Rogelio is at an all-night rewrite session, and I just don't feel safe without the doorknob secure.
You know? I just don't feel safe at all.
Are you sure? Thanks.
Mm.
Thanks for coming.
I just got a little scared, you know? Because of the door.
Remember, Jane, there's nothing to worry about until (SIGHS HEAVILY) All right, where were we? (CREAKING, RUSTLING NEARBY) Hey! (GRUNTING) Mommy, don't hurt the tooth fairy! (MOUTHS) I'm okay, Mateo.
And you're right, it is indeed I, the tooth fairy.
You're real! Of course I'm real.
Though not all children get to see me.
Only the special ones.
Really? Of course.
Those who believe.
NARRATOR: And, friends, even though Petra wasn't surrounded by sparkles, Mateo definitely saw the magic.
Right.
Now, is there a tooth around here anywhere? Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Very nice.
$20? I'm rich! (LAUGHS) Obviously, the tooth fairy's gonna need some change, 'cause that's a little excessive for one tooth.
I am so sorry I scared you.
I told your grandmother I was going to do this.
How did you know what to wear? Alba told me everything Xo said, down to the pointy ears.
She also told me what's going on with your mom.
I'm so sorry, Jane.
I remember with Rafael.
The waiting was torture.
Hang in there.
Thank you.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) And thank you for bringing the magic back for Mateo.
Yeah.
Now I feel bad robbing my kids of it.
Aw.
I just never had that kind of childhood.
Yeah, I forget that sometimes, how hard you had it growing up.
It's hard to imagine you now, playing the violin on the street for money.
(VIOLIN PLAYING GENTLE, MINOR-KEY MELODY) (PLAYS FINAL NOTES) I have been watching you play for a few months now.
Petra? You okay? - Yes, but I have to go.
- Oh? PETRA: I know who the blackmailer is.
RAMOS: What? Who? It's Milos.
My ex-husband.
- We ruled him out.
- Well, he must have broken out of prison or paid someone off.
- I don't understand.
- I just know it's him.
I knew that song your mother was humming sounded familiar.
It's a song I was playing on the street in Prague when I met Milos it's the same song he played at our wedding.
It was our song.
He must have been humming it when he left that note with your mother.
NARRATOR: See? Never count out a side character.
They can change the course of a whole story.
Which brings us back to LUISA: Sometimes I think my life, my path, it's just another version of my mother's.
And so I thought it should end like hers.
I was going to jump and then (RINGTONE PLAYING) my phone rang.
Rose? How are you? (SIGHS): Oh I'm okay, thanks.
That's not terribly convincing.
Why do you care how I am? We're not together; we never will be.
Maybe not.
But I still love you, Luisa.
I always will.
Never doubt that.
And I realized I still had someone who cared about me.
Not my mom.
My stepmom.
(PHONE CHIMES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, that's when he saw her.
Oh, my God.
So, how'd you find me? Jane thought you might have gone where your mom went.
Look, it wasn't me, Luisa.
I wasn't the one that set you up.
I didn't know Carl was real.
That was Anezka and Magda.
Stop.
Just stop talking.
That's the whole reason I came here, to get away from the hotel and the scheming and the police investigations, and Rose.
To just get away from everything destructive in my life.
How's it been? Really good, actually.
I work the front desk, I read, I take walks.
I'm sober.
It's the healthiest I've been in a long time.
I'm really glad to hear that.
So you just tracked me down to check up on my emotional well-being? No ulterior motive? (EXHALES) Forever chasing the money.
No.
It's not that.
I'm trying to track down my birth parents.
And I know you have the records from the orphanage.
I used to.
(SIGHS) After what you did to me, or what I thought you did to me, I destroyed them.
But Rose knows, though.
Who they are.
You can talk to her.
(SIGHS HEAVILY) Just please don't tell her where I am.
I'm finally done with her.
I feel like I broke that spell.
Good.
So you're really not here for the money, then? At all? No, I'm not.
I mean before you left, you know, you said you wanted to give it back to me.
It's gone.
What? I realized that money was the root of all my problems.
No matter how screwed up things got, I can always fall back on the money, and that really warped me and all of my relationships, so I just gave it away mine, yours, all of it.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY) - Even the hotel shares? - In a trust.
Benefiting various charities.
Ashrams, recovery centers, amphibian rescue groups.
I found this one great organization that helps resettle ferrets into the wild.
Anyway, the point is, hallelujah, the money is gone.
And I feel free.
She gave away everything? Everything.
(SIGHS) But you know what, she seemed different.
Better.
Good.
I want her to be happy.
ROGELIO: Not happy.
Thrilled! The paparazzi photos of me and River have made the gossip blogs.
My Twitter is blowing up.
This is incredible.
Just the kind of heat we need to launch the series.
Well, good.
Go out there and seal the deal.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) Talk to me, Barry.
Have you seen the Twitter love? What? No.
No.
I understand.
Okay.
Good-bye, Barry.
Rogelio, what's wrong? River freaking Fields - is using me as a stalking horse.
- NARRATOR: A what now? Barry said that everyone knows that River is in town to audition for that new show, - Confederate.
- NARRATOR: Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
She's using my show as leverage in negotiations.
NARRATOR: Ah, now I get it.
Apparently, she's gunning for the lead role of Main Plantation Owner.
As if she could pull off anything bigger than Racist Lady #6.
I just can't believe she would use me like this.
And to think that I was actually regretting burning off her brows! Rogelio, you have got to calm down.
No.
She's gone too far.
I refuse to go to the meeting! Stop.
Just take a breath and think before ditching River.
The fact that she was using Steve as leverage means that she didn't sign on to that show yet.
So you still have a chance to win her over.
This project is more than just a job to you.
It's about bringing telenovelas to America, about giving the genre the respect that it deserves.
So don't give up.
Go out there and sell her on it, Rogelio.
You could do this.
You know what, you are rightig I'm going to go for it.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) It's the doctor's office.
Hello? Yes.
Oh.
Okay.
Yes.
Thank you, Doctor.
I understand.
Yes.
Thank you.
What happened? What did the doctor say? It was benign.
(EXHALES) I don't have cancer.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, in that moment, Rogelio felt like he was blessed with a little magic of his own.
EERIE MUSIC (SNIFFLES) (SIGHS) We need to pop open a bottle of champagne and celebrate.
Yes.
We will.
Later.
But right now, you're gonna be late for River.
So, go! Win her over.
Hey.
We got the call.
No cancer.
Oh, thank God.
(CRYING) (CHUCKLES) Oh, Mom.
Oh.
I was trying so hard to be strong, - but - Yeah.
Me, too.
Now go, both of you.
I-I'll be here when you get back.
Let's have dinner.
And suddenly Jane realized The assignment was great, and I broke through.
And now, I want to write about my mom.
Our relationship.
Wow.
- So no more romance? - Well, it is a romance.
Of sorts.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of a romance of sorts.
Finally.
What have you heard about Milos? According to the authorities in the Czech Republic, he's still there, in prison.
So he can't be the one doing this.
If it's not him, then who could it be? Okay.
Process of elimination.
Who would know everything that the blackmailers have said, know your life that intimately, know about your past, that song (PHONE CHIMES) PETRA: Krishna? (YELPS) You're the blackmailer? You've been trying to put me in jail? NARRATOR: I told you side characters could change the course of a story.
I was hoping you would think it was Magda.
(SCOFFS) So you planted the screws in Petra's office? - Yes.
- Why? Why? Because she's awful, horrible, mean.
Krishna! Mrs.
Solano, there are Not now, Krishna.
What the hell is this doing here? No one's coming here to see the assistants.
Krishna, go inside my office and wait there.
So, I just recorded everything she said.
So did I.
Did you see that coming? At all? (THUD IN OFFICE) She must have jumped to the balcony below.
Looks like she left a note.
NARRATOR: Yeah, so maybe Krishna wasn't exactly a criminal mastermind.
But she sure is.
RAFAEL: I need your help.
Why would I help you? You're the reason I'm in here.
Actually, you're in jail because of all the people you murdered.
Potato, potahto.
I'm trying to find my birth parents.
Do you know who they are? Yes.
I do.
And I'll tell you.
In exchange for you telling me where Luisa is.
Luisa doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore.
She's moved on.
Then there's no harm in telling me.
I won't.
Then our business here is done.
Good-bye, Rafael.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And from one good-bye to another I can't believe it's all over.
(CHUCKLES) But the D.
A.
has to drop the charges now, right? Absolutely.
So, listen, if you ever get wrongfully accused of murder again, hit me up.
Okay? Is it just me or does it look like Petra wants to be wrongfully accused of murder again? J.
R.
! Wait! Petra? What is it? NARRATOR: Maybe this is an epic romance after all.
You left your pen.
That's not my pen.
Oh.
Just wanted to make sure.
I hate taking other people's pens.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know! Straight out of a telenovela, right? Or a controversial premium cable drama.
Listen, River, I know all about your other show, and I'm not mad.
In fact, I respect how you're playing the game.
But I'm not giving up on you just yet.
(SIGHS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw, she looks so sad.
Or wait Does she? I'm listening.
Did you not get the part? I got a part.
Main Plantation Owner's Wife.
The side character.
Hey, it's better than Racist Lady #6.
Even Racist Lady #6 had more lines than me.
Oh.
So what's the deal? You want to play a side character or a main character? Because I am offering you a co-lead, River.
And Brenda's gonna be a strong, impactful character, just like we talked about.
Just like the women in my life.
It's a risk.
The other project is much higher profile.
And you don't have a huge American following.
Yet.
But together, River, together, we are unstoppable.
So, come on.
Let me be the Nicole to your Reese, the Laverne to your Shirley, the Bette to your Joan.
(DRAMATIC ACTION MUSIC PLAYING) NARRATOR: But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Look, the premise of The Passions of Steve still doesn't sit well with me.
Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is and make one big change? River Fields is on board! We are officially going to make The Passions of Steve and Brenda: the First Co-Presidents of the United States! Xiomara? What is it? I have something to tell you.
Rogelio was about to go to his important meeting with River, and I didn't want to ruin his momentum.
And then, Jane, you came in right after Mom, what's going on? (EXHALES) I'm so sorry.
I lied before.
The biopsy came back positive.
I have breast cancer.
(PRAYER CONTINUES IN SPANISH) ALBA: Amen.
Not blooming? Jane's writing.
So she decided to go back to a class.
The structure, having assignments that works for me.
And speaking of overcoming career hurdles, Rogelio was having trouble getting the legendary River Fields to agree to costar with him in the American version of The Passions of Santos.
- Probably because of this - Attack her.
(GROWLS, BARKS) (SCREAMS) Also painful, Rafael's family situation.
See, his sister Louisa left with all of his money, and it turns out, she was also the key to finding his birthparents.
And speaking of family drama, Petra was being investigated for killing her sister, and her lawyer J.
R.
was being blackmailed into tanking Petra's case.
But now, they're working together, and doing other things together.
But OMG, the blackmailer threatened J.
R.
's mother, who has Alzheimer's.
And in other, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad news (GRUNTS) (GASPING) We took an X-ray of your chest to check the rib, and we found a lump in your breast.
Which, my friends, is where we left off.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Over the years, Jane Gloriana Villanueva made a few trips to the hospital.
Where did you get your degree from, the University of Dumbass? My daughter said that she is a frickin' virgin, so do another damn test.
And each time, her mother was by her side.
Five more minutes of pain for a lifetime of happiness.
He's gonna be okay, hon.
But this time, the tables had turned, and it was Jane who needed to be there for her mother.
It's gonna be okay, Mom.
Just because it looks suspicious doesn't mean it's cancer, okay? We'll get the biopsy results in three to five days.
It's fine, we'll watch some old novelas, yeah, - play cards - XIOMARA: Wait.
âWeâ? Don't you have your new writers group? Please, I'll start another time.
I'm going to help you take your mind off of this.
Me, too.
I'm pushing my meeting.
With River Fields? No, you're not.
- But this - You're going, end of story.
Now, listen to me.
If you are all hovering around me, I am gonna lose it, so (EXHALES) We are not gonna worry until we have something to worry about.
Understand? Absolutely.
We're not gonna worry until there's something to worry about.
Got it.
Oh.
Right.
I'll get that for you.
And I'll help you fix it.
Great.
So, I guess I'll just head to my writers group.
Have fun.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
Good luck with that.
Like I said.
LISA: Jane? Oh, sorry.
I was just welcoming you to the group.
Thank you.
Nice to meet everyone.
And telling them how you published a novel.
A novel that didn't sell well.
And I'm a little blocked, so I wanted to get back to basics.
And-and JJ loves this group, so here I am.
Well, we are glad to have you.
And trust me, we've all been blocked.
And it sucks.
Ugh, I know.
Plus, I used up the one great story I had to tell.
Well, you don't have to stop telling your story just because you've already told it.
True.
Look at Jamaica Kincaid, or, uh, John Updike.
They return to the same themes, relationships, even characters.
LISA: Exactly.
It's your story.
If you want to tell it again, you can.
Just tell it a different way.
Maybe from a different perspective.
That's actually a good assignment.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And this is a good group.
This week, let's write about an event in our lives, from the perspective of a side character.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Love that.
Yes.
Might I suggest one of my favorites? Girls, hurry up, we're leaving for lunch.
(PHONE CHIMES) NARRATOR: Ooh.
A text from her favorite side character.
(SAXOPHONE PLAYING) Or should I say âside piece.
â Ready for lunch, Mommy.
(SAXOPHONE STOPS) Thank you for taking them.
Raf's busy and I couldn't get either of the nannies on such short notice.
See, that's because you only have two.
You should always have three nannies on-call at all times.
Hilarious.
The comedy world really needs more women.
I don't know if you've considered it as a career.
Why are you so dressed up? What? I'm not.
(CHUCKLES) Look, I'll call you when I'm done.
MATEO: Look! I have a loose tooth, and it's hanging on by a string.
Want to see? - Ew.
- Gross.
XIOMARA: Come on, guys.
Lunch! Mom, come and eat.
We'll finish the dishwasher after.
I want my tooth to come out now.
(MATEO LAUGHS) Bite into an apple.
I'm telling you, it'll come out.
Come on, take a bite.
(APPLE CRUNCHES) It fell out! Mateo, your first tooth! (SHOUTS) (LAUGHS) Yeah.
And I'm gonna get money from the tooth fairy tonight, and you're not.
JANE: Mateo.
You're being rude.
NARRATOR: Yeah, I'd be careful bragging about money to children with two nannies.
We don't care, we're very fortunate.
And there's no such thing as the tooth fairy.
- What? - Of course there is.
She comes in the night, and brings you money.
That's your mommy, silly.
Your mommy is the tooth fairy.
Are you, Mommy? Of course I am not the tooth fairy.
In fact, that's a ridiculous rumor that the tooth fairy spreads so that the kids don't go looking for her.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, right.
It's true.
And you're falling for it.
Hmm.
See, the tooth fairy has been alive since the beginning of time.
ELLIE: Not possible.
No one can live forever.
Yeah.
Everyone dies.
Mateo, did I ever tell you about the time that I saw the tooth fairy? No.
I was about six years old.
It was the middle of the night.
She floated through the window.
She wore a pale green dress, and she had long, silver hair and pointy ears.
Really? Absolutely.
And when I looked at her, there were these sparkles floating all around her.
Then what happened? Well, I actually talked with her.
Dad? What's going on? I-I just I-I'm just so scared, Jane.
I know you're scared, Dad.
I am, too.
But we are not going to worry until there's something - to worry about, remember? - I'm already worried.
You're gonna have to pull it together in front of Mom.
So use those incredible acting skills, and act like you aren't.
Got it? Yeah.
I'll just You'll just focus ur energy on something else.
Like convincing River to do your show.
I mean, that's something you'd normally be obsessing about.
Hmm? Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll obsess about that, then.
Thanks, Jane.
Of course, Dad.
Now, come on, fix your face.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Friends, if Petra seems a little overly made-up to see her lawyer, I'll remind you the last time she saw her.
(KNOCKS) Hi.
Hey.
You remember my mom? Yes.
Of course.
(CLEARS THROAT) Hi, Aida.
So, what's up? My mom suddenly said she remembered what the guy who left the note looked like.
So I had a sketch artist work with her.
(AIDA HUMMING) Yeah.
Not exactly useful.
Sorry I made you rush over here.
(HUMMING CONTINUES) Sorry.
PETRA: No.
That song sounds so familiar.
What's it from? I can't remember.
Oh.
That's okay.
So, listen, do you want to, uh, drop your mom off, and we can meet up later to strategize? Maybe my place? Let me walk you out.
Absolutely.
Yes.
So, listen, the other night Yes? It was a one time thing.
This isn't some epic romance where we're gonna, like, ride off into the sunset.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) I mean, obviously.
I know that.
Then why are you all dressed up? This? Oh, because (SCOFFS) I have a meeting right after this.
- Oh.
- (LAUGHS) What, you thought this was for you? Please.
Why don't you focus on finding out who's trying to put me in jail instead of on what I'm wearing.
Hmm? Wow.
Why are you so dressed up? I am not dressed up, Krishna! Why are you so dressed up? No one's coming here to see the assistants.
I just dropped the girls off with your nanny.
Oh, good.
Thank you so much.
Of course.
And look, there's no easy way to say this.
Um Someone told your kids there's no tooth fairy.
Yeah.
I did.
Uh, what? Well, the girls asked me about it recently, and I was honest with them.
I practice radical honesty with my children.
What? I told them not to say anything.
I obviously don't want them to be those jerks who out the tooth fairy at school.
Well, unfortunately, they are those jerks.
They outed the tooth fairy to Mateo.
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
I tried to convince him that the girls were wrong, but he wouldn't listen, and they were - LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Tough.
- firm.
I'll talk to them.
Don't worry.
- NARRATOR: Ooh, un.
Yes! I knew Petra - would be a great side character to write.
Come on, Jane, you've got this.
Stay in the zone.
Googling side characters? So much for not worrying until there's something to worry about.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it was a pretty big storage unit.
Anything from the convent? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To remind you I was looking for records from the orphanage, uh They were sold? Sold to who? Luisa Alver? Nothing yet.
And I have no idea where she is.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To remind you again Are you at the mental hospital? - I'm here, but Luisa's gone.
- What? She checked herself out and she didn't leave any contact info.
But look at this.
Whoa.
Luisa's deposition after she artificially inseminated me.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Last reminder Nice to meet you, Ms.
Villanueva.
Are you ready for your insemination? (SNORING) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: In other words, our origin story told by a side character.
And what can I say, friends? It felt like a sign.
This might be the point of view I've been looking for.
My point is, this meal has exceeded my expectations.
Thank you so much for giving me a second chance.
Well, you seemed genuinely sorry in your e-mails and phone calls and tweets.
And I read the script for the Passions of Steve.
Yes, and I'm just thrilled that you loved it.
Oh, love, that's a strong word.
Let's just say I didn't hate it.
Okay, I'll take that.
But I did hate the character of Brenda.
She's the worst kind of one-dimensional, stereotypical female character.
I mean (STAMMERS) âHeaving bosomâ? And, oh, âBeautiful, but doesn't know it.
â âEffortlessly thinâ? Are you freaking kidding me? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Remember, Ro, you need her to agree to do the project.
And I will happily adjust the character according to your criticism, River Fields.
You want a smaller bosom? Done.
And starting now, Brenda is beautiful, but she does know it.
And, of course, she doesn't have to be thin.
She could be a Midwest medium.
Go ahead and eat those fries.
Okay.
Look, my-my point was, she needs characteristics.
A point of view.
What does she want? Well, she wants Steve to love her.
What else? French fries? Okay, look.
If I get the writers to give her a âpoint of viewâ would you agree to do the project with me? Well, I mean, I'd have to see how these changes are implemented.
But it's definitely a step in the right direction.
- Really? - Really.
Look, my agents want to make this work, and, honestly so do I.
That's so great.
Bananas foster, Madame? Oh! - That is my favorite.
- I know.
That's why I ordered it ahead of time - especially for you.
- Ah.
Allow me.
(SCREAMS) Ah! (ROGELIO GASPS) My eyebrows.
How could I have burned her signature eyebrows off? Look, you're doing one of your crazy baskets.
People always love them.
Well, this is one of my best yet.
Hey, guys.
Wow.
Nice Ropology basket.
How's the, uh, dishwasher? Still broken.
It's not the valve.
It's getting enough water.
(RINGTONE PLAYS) It's the doctor's office.
Hello.
Yes, this is Xiomara de la Vega.
Oh.
Yes.
My billing address is 1312 Mockingbird Terrace.
(SIGHS) Thank you.
All right.
Well, I'm just gonna go work on my writing assignment for a bit.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Remember.
You can't worry until there's something to worry about.
(SIGHS) NARRATOR: Good idea.
No more computer, Jane.
Focus on something else.
Legal mumbo jumbo, legal mumbo jumbo Oh.
Here's where our story starts.
âThe night before the insemination was horrible for me.
You need to know that.
â Actually, let's have Luisa tell it.
I liked that point of view exercise.
LUISA: But it didn't start out horribly.
Allison and I had sex that night and we both orgasmed twice.
I mean, that's what makes this all so crazy.
Well, not the only thing.
Anyway, Allison peed so she wouldn't get a UTI, and then she came out of the bathroom and said Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't think I can make it to your brother's party.
What? Really? Well, yeah.
You wore me out, baby.
Yeah, I did.
(LAUGHING): Yeah, you did.
LUISA: So, I went to Rafael's party alone.
But I was missing my wife the whole time.
Even when she walked in.
ROSE: You look beautiful.
LUISA: And by âshe,â I mean my most recent stepmother, Rose.
Where's my father? Doesn't get in till tomorrow.
Congratulations.
I heard you got married.
Where's your wife? I'd love to meet her.
She's resting.
We had quite the afternoon.
Sexually, I mean.
I can imagine specifically.
(CHOKED UP): I should find my brother.
NARRATOR: Hey, check out the side character in the mermaid costume.
Hey.
What are you doing? Get in the pool.
I need you on that rock.
- I could kill him.
- Mm-hmm.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, sorry.
Back to Luisa.
LUISA: It was a ridiculous party, but I wanted to be there for Rafael.
It was a big deal for him.
And he was going through a hard time.
- Petra stood by me.
- I know.
But that doesn't mean that you owe her your whole life.
RAFAEL: Thanks, Lu.
Now go home to your wife.
LUISA: So, I did.
(GASPS) (BOTH GASP) My God.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Luisa, please.
I asked you about her last week, and you told me that I was paranoid, crazy like my mother! So, yeah.
That was the night before the insemination.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, we all know what happened next.
Okay.
All done.
My daughter said that she is a frickin' virgin, so do another damn test.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Hi, Jane.
I brought the girls over As soon as I heard about that mean trick they played on Mateo yesterday.
What mean trick? Girls.
Sorry for lying to you about the tooth fairy.
Yeah.
She's totally real.
I don't believe you.
I promise, there's really a fairy who flies around and collects teeth and gives you money.
I thought you said she can't fly around the world.
- She can.
- Like Santa Claus? (BOTH LAUGH) Santa Claus.
- There's no Santa Claus? - Seriously? Of course there's a Santa Claus.
Are you kidding? Girls, we'll see you later.
- Are you freaking kidding me? - I'm sorry.
I don't care if you're sorry, Petra.
You're ruining my son's childhood.
- Jane, I hardly think - He doesn't need to be questioning these things at his age.
His life should be beautiful and magical.
The girls weren't thinking.
Exactly, because they're five, which is why you shouldn't have told them the truth, but since you did, here's a recommendation: keep them inside for the holidays so they don't ruin it for everyone else! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Friends, the only thing worse than having a sick child Actually, there is nothing worse.
PETRA: Alba? Hi, there.
The girls were dying for some more sparkly turtles, so I'm-I'm just gonna grab these.
Help yourself.
Look, is, uh, Jane okay? She seems so upset and-and I know why, but I just wish there was something I could do.
Thank you.
It's tough.
But we're all hanging in there.
Everyone's upset about it? Yes, of course.
I just didn't realize it was such a big deal.
A big deal? Wait.
What are you talking about? How the twins told Mateo the tooth fairy isn't real.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And Santa.
Right.
Yes.
She's okay.
Thank you.
But what are you talking about? Alba, please.
I'm family, too.
NARRATOR: Which brings us back to our origin story.
LUISA: Anyway, that was my state of mind the day of the insemination.
Wrecked.
Destroyed.
Just playing and replaying what happened with Allison.
Nice to meet you, Ms.
Villanueva.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hey, there's that mermaid again.
Hi.
Yes.
LUISA: I did say her name.
I remember that, and she said yes.
And sure, I was rattled, but I pulled myself together, and went to see my next patient.
I had the nurse unfreeze Rafael's sperm.
LUISA: And I suddenly realized my horrible mistake.
And I panicked.
So, I should probably let you know that, statistically, your odds actually aren't that great.
Well, what exactly are my chances? Mmm it's hard to say.
It's not an exact science.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I disagree.
(SIGHS) All right, all done.
You can go.
Well, aren't I supposed to lay still for ten minutes? Yes.
Yeah.
That will help, too.
(DOOR OPENS) The next two weeks, waiting, it was torture.
And then I got the phone call.
Yes, this is Dr.
Alver.
JANE: Dr.
Alver, I need to see you.
There's some crazy doctor saying I'm pregnant.
Ms.
Villanueva, I think you should come in right away.
I felt like I was gonna be sick.
And then she came, with her mother.
The reason the test came back positive is I accidentally inseminated you two weeks ago.
- BOTH: You what?! - And, man, her mother went off on me.
That woman was fierce.
SOFT GUITAR Which I respected, you know? A fierce mother.
I used to have that.
She was everything to me.
But she went crazy, and Sometimes I think my life, my path, it's just another version of hers.
Rafael? - Hey, you okay? - Yes.
But I'm reading the deposition, and Luisa's talking about her mother, and I remembered Michael telling me that her mom lived out the rest of her life in this place with these glowing fish Long something.
Long thorne, maybe.
I see a place in Florida called Longbourne.
Maybe Luisa went to escape there, too.
You always told me that she was haunted by her mom.
Yeah, she was.
I can't imagine how hard it must have been for her to lose her.
Jane, are you okay? Yes.
Go to Longbourne.
Maybe you'll find her.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know.
Straight out of a telenovela, right? - Which brings us to - River.
Hello.
Thank you for agreeing to see me.
I must say, I didn't think it was possible, but you are even more beautiful without eyebrows.
And really, who needs them anyway? You know? They have no function.
Says the man with two functioning eyebrows.
It's okay.
People make mistakes, right? When you've got these bushes, brush fires happen.
Wow.
She's being awfully understanding about this.
And besides, my eyebrows are insured for six figures by Lloyd's of London.
So, thanks to you, I actually made money from this little mishap.
And I really loved the apology basket.
I'm so glad you liked it.
You said you had a few script notes.
Wow.
You really have a lot of strong opinions about ladies.
Which I admire.
So you'll lose the word âshrillâ? Lost it.
Consider her voice âprovocativeâ.
âBusinesslike.
â - Done.
- Great.
I'm feeling so much better about the Brenda character overall.
Perfect! So you are ready to sign on? We're definitely getting close.
(CAMERA SNAPS) How did they know we would be here? I normally tip them off, but I promise I didn't this time.
Actually, I did.
It's always good to be photographed.
If you and I are gonna work on this project together, why not get some early buzz going.
I like the way you think.
JANE: Here's what I think.
There are always gonna be people who pick away at what you believe.
But you have to have faith.
So it's like having faith in God? A little.
But also different, in important ways.
So basically, related but not that similar at all.
- I'm confused.
- Don't be.
Just trust that the tooth fairy and Santa Claus exist.
Look I used to put my tooth in this little box, and I remember asking my mom the same question, and she gave me the same answer that she gave you.
Is the tooth fairy really real? Of course she is.
I saw her once.
She was wearing a pale green dress, and she had long silver hair and pointy ears and sparkles all around her.
And she won't give you anything unless you put your tooth under your pillow.
Fine.
But I'm gonna stay up all night and see if she's real or if it's you.
Sounds fair to me.
Mwah.
Ah.
Hey, Abuela.
Oh.
I went off on her, and I shouldn't have.
(PHONE RINGS) Hi, Ma.
No.
I mean yeah, but my doorknob is loose.
Yeah, and I left the toolkit at your house, and Rogelio is at an all-night rewrite session, and I just don't feel safe without the doorknob secure.
You know? I just don't feel safe at all.
Are you sure? Thanks.
Mm.
Thanks for coming.
I just got a little scared, you know? Because of the door.
Remember, Jane, there's nothing to worry about until (SIGHS HEAVILY) All right, where were we? (CREAKING, RUSTLING NEARBY) Hey! (GRUNTING) Mommy, don't hurt the tooth fairy! (MOUTHS) I'm okay, Mateo.
And you're right, it is indeed I, the tooth fairy.
You're real! Of course I'm real.
Though not all children get to see me.
Only the special ones.
Really? Of course.
Those who believe.
NARRATOR: And, friends, even though Petra wasn't surrounded by sparkles, Mateo definitely saw the magic.
Right.
Now, is there a tooth around here anywhere? Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Very nice.
$20? I'm rich! (LAUGHS) Obviously, the tooth fairy's gonna need some change, 'cause that's a little excessive for one tooth.
I am so sorry I scared you.
I told your grandmother I was going to do this.
How did you know what to wear? Alba told me everything Xo said, down to the pointy ears.
She also told me what's going on with your mom.
I'm so sorry, Jane.
I remember with Rafael.
The waiting was torture.
Hang in there.
Thank you.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) And thank you for bringing the magic back for Mateo.
Yeah.
Now I feel bad robbing my kids of it.
Aw.
I just never had that kind of childhood.
Yeah, I forget that sometimes, how hard you had it growing up.
It's hard to imagine you now, playing the violin on the street for money.
(VIOLIN PLAYING GENTLE, MINOR-KEY MELODY) (PLAYS FINAL NOTES) I have been watching you play for a few months now.
Petra? You okay? - Yes, but I have to go.
- Oh? PETRA: I know who the blackmailer is.
RAMOS: What? Who? It's Milos.
My ex-husband.
- We ruled him out.
- Well, he must have broken out of prison or paid someone off.
- I don't understand.
- I just know it's him.
I knew that song your mother was humming sounded familiar.
It's a song I was playing on the street in Prague when I met Milos it's the same song he played at our wedding.
It was our song.
He must have been humming it when he left that note with your mother.
NARRATOR: See? Never count out a side character.
They can change the course of a whole story.
Which brings us back to LUISA: Sometimes I think my life, my path, it's just another version of my mother's.
And so I thought it should end like hers.
I was going to jump and then (RINGTONE PLAYING) my phone rang.
Rose? How are you? (SIGHS): Oh I'm okay, thanks.
That's not terribly convincing.
Why do you care how I am? We're not together; we never will be.
Maybe not.
But I still love you, Luisa.
I always will.
Never doubt that.
And I realized I still had someone who cared about me.
Not my mom.
My stepmom.
(PHONE CHIMES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, that's when he saw her.
Oh, my God.
So, how'd you find me? Jane thought you might have gone where your mom went.
Look, it wasn't me, Luisa.
I wasn't the one that set you up.
I didn't know Carl was real.
That was Anezka and Magda.
Stop.
Just stop talking.
That's the whole reason I came here, to get away from the hotel and the scheming and the police investigations, and Rose.
To just get away from everything destructive in my life.
How's it been? Really good, actually.
I work the front desk, I read, I take walks.
I'm sober.
It's the healthiest I've been in a long time.
I'm really glad to hear that.
So you just tracked me down to check up on my emotional well-being? No ulterior motive? (EXHALES) Forever chasing the money.
No.
It's not that.
I'm trying to track down my birth parents.
And I know you have the records from the orphanage.
I used to.
(SIGHS) After what you did to me, or what I thought you did to me, I destroyed them.
But Rose knows, though.
Who they are.
You can talk to her.
(SIGHS HEAVILY) Just please don't tell her where I am.
I'm finally done with her.
I feel like I broke that spell.
Good.
So you're really not here for the money, then? At all? No, I'm not.
I mean before you left, you know, you said you wanted to give it back to me.
It's gone.
What? I realized that money was the root of all my problems.
No matter how screwed up things got, I can always fall back on the money, and that really warped me and all of my relationships, so I just gave it away mine, yours, all of it.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY) - Even the hotel shares? - In a trust.
Benefiting various charities.
Ashrams, recovery centers, amphibian rescue groups.
I found this one great organization that helps resettle ferrets into the wild.
Anyway, the point is, hallelujah, the money is gone.
And I feel free.
She gave away everything? Everything.
(SIGHS) But you know what, she seemed different.
Better.
Good.
I want her to be happy.
ROGELIO: Not happy.
Thrilled! The paparazzi photos of me and River have made the gossip blogs.
My Twitter is blowing up.
This is incredible.
Just the kind of heat we need to launch the series.
Well, good.
Go out there and seal the deal.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) Talk to me, Barry.
Have you seen the Twitter love? What? No.
No.
I understand.
Okay.
Good-bye, Barry.
Rogelio, what's wrong? River freaking Fields - is using me as a stalking horse.
- NARRATOR: A what now? Barry said that everyone knows that River is in town to audition for that new show, - Confederate.
- NARRATOR: Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
She's using my show as leverage in negotiations.
NARRATOR: Ah, now I get it.
Apparently, she's gunning for the lead role of Main Plantation Owner.
As if she could pull off anything bigger than Racist Lady #6.
I just can't believe she would use me like this.
And to think that I was actually regretting burning off her brows! Rogelio, you have got to calm down.
No.
She's gone too far.
I refuse to go to the meeting! Stop.
Just take a breath and think before ditching River.
The fact that she was using Steve as leverage means that she didn't sign on to that show yet.
So you still have a chance to win her over.
This project is more than just a job to you.
It's about bringing telenovelas to America, about giving the genre the respect that it deserves.
So don't give up.
Go out there and sell her on it, Rogelio.
You could do this.
You know what, you are rightig I'm going to go for it.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) It's the doctor's office.
Hello? Yes.
Oh.
Okay.
Yes.
Thank you, Doctor.
I understand.
Yes.
Thank you.
What happened? What did the doctor say? It was benign.
(EXHALES) I don't have cancer.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, in that moment, Rogelio felt like he was blessed with a little magic of his own.
EERIE MUSIC (SNIFFLES) (SIGHS) We need to pop open a bottle of champagne and celebrate.
Yes.
We will.
Later.
But right now, you're gonna be late for River.
So, go! Win her over.
Hey.
We got the call.
No cancer.
Oh, thank God.
(CRYING) (CHUCKLES) Oh, Mom.
Oh.
I was trying so hard to be strong, - but - Yeah.
Me, too.
Now go, both of you.
I-I'll be here when you get back.
Let's have dinner.
And suddenly Jane realized The assignment was great, and I broke through.
And now, I want to write about my mom.
Our relationship.
Wow.
- So no more romance? - Well, it is a romance.
Of sorts.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of a romance of sorts.
Finally.
What have you heard about Milos? According to the authorities in the Czech Republic, he's still there, in prison.
So he can't be the one doing this.
If it's not him, then who could it be? Okay.
Process of elimination.
Who would know everything that the blackmailers have said, know your life that intimately, know about your past, that song (PHONE CHIMES) PETRA: Krishna? (YELPS) You're the blackmailer? You've been trying to put me in jail? NARRATOR: I told you side characters could change the course of a story.
I was hoping you would think it was Magda.
(SCOFFS) So you planted the screws in Petra's office? - Yes.
- Why? Why? Because she's awful, horrible, mean.
Krishna! Mrs.
Solano, there are Not now, Krishna.
What the hell is this doing here? No one's coming here to see the assistants.
Krishna, go inside my office and wait there.
So, I just recorded everything she said.
So did I.
Did you see that coming? At all? (THUD IN OFFICE) She must have jumped to the balcony below.
Looks like she left a note.
NARRATOR: Yeah, so maybe Krishna wasn't exactly a criminal mastermind.
But she sure is.
RAFAEL: I need your help.
Why would I help you? You're the reason I'm in here.
Actually, you're in jail because of all the people you murdered.
Potato, potahto.
I'm trying to find my birth parents.
Do you know who they are? Yes.
I do.
And I'll tell you.
In exchange for you telling me where Luisa is.
Luisa doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore.
She's moved on.
Then there's no harm in telling me.
I won't.
Then our business here is done.
Good-bye, Rafael.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And from one good-bye to another I can't believe it's all over.
(CHUCKLES) But the D.
A.
has to drop the charges now, right? Absolutely.
So, listen, if you ever get wrongfully accused of murder again, hit me up.
Okay? Is it just me or does it look like Petra wants to be wrongfully accused of murder again? J.
R.
! Wait! Petra? What is it? NARRATOR: Maybe this is an epic romance after all.
You left your pen.
That's not my pen.
Oh.
Just wanted to make sure.
I hate taking other people's pens.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know! Straight out of a telenovela, right? Or a controversial premium cable drama.
Listen, River, I know all about your other show, and I'm not mad.
In fact, I respect how you're playing the game.
But I'm not giving up on you just yet.
(SIGHS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw, she looks so sad.
Or wait Does she? I'm listening.
Did you not get the part? I got a part.
Main Plantation Owner's Wife.
The side character.
Hey, it's better than Racist Lady #6.
Even Racist Lady #6 had more lines than me.
Oh.
So what's the deal? You want to play a side character or a main character? Because I am offering you a co-lead, River.
And Brenda's gonna be a strong, impactful character, just like we talked about.
Just like the women in my life.
It's a risk.
The other project is much higher profile.
And you don't have a huge American following.
Yet.
But together, River, together, we are unstoppable.
So, come on.
Let me be the Nicole to your Reese, the Laverne to your Shirley, the Bette to your Joan.
(DRAMATIC ACTION MUSIC PLAYING) NARRATOR: But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Look, the premise of The Passions of Steve still doesn't sit well with me.
Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is and make one big change? River Fields is on board! We are officially going to make The Passions of Steve and Brenda: the First Co-Presidents of the United States! Xiomara? What is it? I have something to tell you.
Rogelio was about to go to his important meeting with River, and I didn't want to ruin his momentum.
And then, Jane, you came in right after Mom, what's going on? (EXHALES) I'm so sorry.
I lied before.
The biopsy came back positive.
I have breast cancer.
(PRAYER CONTINUES IN SPANISH) ALBA: Amen.