Jersey Shore s04e01 Episode Script
Going To Italia
Italy! [Club music.]
- get crazy, get wild dj pauly delvecchio.
- I'm going to Jersey shore, bitch! All right, we got a situation.
- I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.
[Laughing.]
- After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.
- Go Vinny, go Vinny! - let's party, get loud you like the boobs? - # do something crazy # - ah! [Hip-hop record scratching.]
Cab here in time.
[Speaking Italian.]
.
- [Speaking italian.]
All: [Laughing.]
- Yo, I'm going to Italy.
Super excited.
They need to know that I'm coming for them.
My hairdryer.
The one thing I am bringing, 'cause I got a big blowout, is the international plug.
Just hope the rest of them bring it, 'cause they're not using mine.
When I get to Italy, it's gonna be like an international panty raid.
I'm going crazy.
I need to get some passport photos, please.
Ready? I have a passport, regular license, international license.
I'm ready to hit Italy.
Passports are here! Oh, yeah! I figure an Italian guy in a Vespa is like a hot guy here on a street bike.
All: Yeah.
- I am so excited to go to Italy! I'm gonna do everything wait, ciao is for "hello" and "good-bye.
" - Yeah.
- What about "thank you?" - Gracias.
- That's Spanish.
- In Italy, I'm expecting to bring a guy home, but I won't do sex.
Do you like the boobs? - Very nice.
[Camera clicks.]
- You know, maybe just, like, figure them out and then maybe do sex later.
Italy, bitches! - Bella.
Tu Bella.
[Speaking italian.]
There are a lot of things that I wanna accomplish in Italy.
[Speaking Italian.]
I want to learn Italian.
I want to master the language.
D.
T.
F.
Come with me [Speaks italian.]
I have a big I wanna find a nice, real, Italian, traditional girl.
Vinny's always been [Bleep.]
Mature, all right? [Clears throat.]
But this time, I'm mature with a beard.
I don't know if any of the housemates are gonna recognize me with this beard.
I'm so much more better-looking.
[Phone ringing.]
Hello? - Vinny, are you all packed up, my dude? - Yeah, I'm packed up pretty much.
Why? What's up? - Well, yo, check this out.
Since we're all going to Italy together, I was gonna come by staten island, scoop you up, and then we'll go to the airport together.
- No, how about this? Come to my family's house.
We'll get Uncle nino over there, we'll get the boys, and we'll send us off the right way.
- That's what I'm talkin' about.
- All right, bro, see you soon.
- Mom! I'm very excited to go to Italy.
Do you think they sell eyelashes in Italy? It's kind of like another world.
It's, like, I don't know what goes on there.
[Screams.]
I started to see this guy.
We've been together for six months.
- God.
- I need panties.
Unless you want me to go commando.
- No, they'll fit.
- Obviously, gianni's, like, a little bit nervous about me going to Italy because it's kind of like a long-distance relationship.
- Do you have anymore suitcases? - No.
- All right.
- I think he's, you know, a little scared with Vinny.
But you know, I reassured him that's definitely not gonna happen.
I'm not gonna be an idiot and [Bleep.]
This up.
You gonna be good? - I'll be good.
- I'll be good.
- All right.
Better be.
- I have no idea where Italy is on the map.
But I do know what shape it is, and it's like a boot.
- How you doing, buddy? - Good.
- Uh, I actually, I need a passport.
- Absolutely, just step right over here.
- Lock up your daughters, handcuff your wives, the situation's taking over the Italian nation.
Oh, wow, that's hot.
The difference between an Italian girl and a Jersey girl is European girls are more free-spirited.
And I'm excited to find out.
Snooks called me yesterday.
She was like, "oh, my God, I lost so much weight.
You know, you're gonna love me," or whatever.
And I didn't know.
I mean If she lost some pounds I'll hit it.
- [Chuckles.]
Look at that smile.
- Yes.
- This way? - A little bit more.
- Jwoww and her boobies are going to Italy.
Italy has no idea.
I will be shocked as all hell if I see a gorilla in Italy.
- You look amazing.
- After the shore house, I kept my relationship going with Roger.
- If a guy comes up, you're out, whatever, grabs your ass Italian guys are known to be, like, kinda touchy-feely.
Boom.
- And then just walk away.
- Out, done.
That's it.
- I wouldn't cheat on Roger in Italy, but I don't even think they make with tattoos out there so nobody really has anything to worry about.
I just wanna make sure that I stay like this in Italy.
Me too.
- What up, Italy? Single Ronnie's back.
Single Ronnie, worrying about himself, going to Italy with three of his boys.
Passport picture? Gun show.
Good lookin' guy right there.
Fresh start in Italy.
No more being a bitch.
- If you go out with Sam, I'm gonna kick you in your [Bleep.]
Nuts when you get back, I swear to God.
- In Italy, there'll be no more me and Sam drama.
'Cause I just wanna have a good time.
- No crying.
No, none of that.
- I have cramps [Speaking Italian.]
- [Laughing.]
- My motto for Italy is to not sit at home and cry, lie in my bed, be miserable, sulk in my own sorrows Food and drink.
Both: Where's the alcohol? - Me and Ron broke up after seaside.
I had time to heal.
And I'm okay with things.
Me and Ron, enough time has passed.
But I, like, will always love him.
And we're just friends.
I feel, like, so much better about myself.
I'm not gonna let the whole, like, Ron thing really get to me.
In that house, there's always issues.
- But you just have to come out on top.
- You don't have to be on top, okay? Oh, my God! - Please don't- just please don't- - # so be my Jersey girl # - oh, my God.
- Uh, I totally just broke my nail.
- # the girl inside # - me and the girls came up with a game plan.
We're gonna get together at deena's and slumber party, and fun, and fly out together.
And obviously, it's gonna be a race between the girls and the guys to get to the house and pick rooms.
- We should've rented a van, that's what we should've did.
- Dad, no! You're squishing them.
Whoo-hoo! [Horn honking.]
- # you're a Jersey girl # - Italy, here I come! Whoo! - First thing you're gonna do.
What's the first thing you're gonna do when you get there? - I'm gonna find out the age of consent.
All: [Chuckles.]
Lift their arms, and if they got hair you're good to go.
- So my boys are gonna be here any second, and I'm very excited that they're gonna enjoy my family feast before we all go to Italy.
We don't want any.
All: Oh! - My family, they are Italians, the right way.
Dj pauly d's here! - There's nothing more authentic than my family.
[Chatter overlaps.]
- Look at this boy, like a big [Bleep.]
Spartan! The food had to have been the table.
If you wanna say d.
T.
[Bleep.]
, you say, [Speaking Italian.]
All: [Laughing.]
- So our game plan for this dinner is we're gonna eat a lot, and then learn some Italian, and then plan out what we're gonna do once we hit Italy.
[Speaking italian.]
All: [Laughing.]
Yay! Hi! - Hi.
- I was so excited for everybody to get here, I'm ready to pop open some champagne.
Hey, you.
- How many bags do you have? Just one? - Three.
- All right.
- Hi! - Hey.
This bitch has eight freakin' bags, if not more.
Holy [Bleep.]
.
- I know.
- Really? - Who the hell is carrying your bags through the airport? - I don't know what guys do on sleepovers, though.
- They probably had strippers over.
- Now I feel bad, I should've ordered some male strippers.
- Hey, dad.
- Okay, I'm ready.
- Ew! All: [Laughing.]
- No offense.
- [Chuckles.]
- All right, focus, gentlemen! - What? - From the airport.
Okay, I need a game plan.
I need a way to get to the house.
How are we getting there? - It depends.
- Bus or a train.
- Whatever we do, we have to get there before the girls.
I don't want them to get the good room.
- Dude, we can get there a day late and still get there before the girls.
I don't know what the house looks like, I don't know where it is, but I need to be in a nice room.
And I would love to just roommate with my boy pauly again.
- What time you have to get up tomorrow morning? Oh, early flight.
[Club music.]
- everybody hit the floor and get ready to roll - you ready? Where's my stuff? - # ready, ready, ready # [Horn honking alarm.]
- I'm feeling great.
Wake up this morning, I'm ready to hit it.
I'm ready to hit the airport.
- Men, we're ready? - Let's go.
Bye, love you.
Make sure you call me! All: We're going to Italy! Whoo! - Whoo-hoo! - Yes! - We're going to italia, italia.
- Can't wait to go to Italy! - Yeah, buddy.
- Bye, bye, vin.
Whoo! - Italy, get ready, because here we come.
Blast in a glass, bitches.
- Good-bye, United States of America.
[Speaking Italian.]
[Chuckles.]
- How do you say "go fast?" Fast, fast? - Rapido.
- Ciao.
- Haul ass.
- Where do we go? I'm just running.
- Fumble! Are you kidding me? - This is how the guidos get to italia.
First we stop off at Madrid to pick up a few hotties.
- [Chuckles.]
- Can we walk in Madrid first? - Madrid, first.
Do a layover in Madrid, first.
- The girls have a layover too? We have a connecting flight in Madrid.
We don't know if the girls have a connecting flight.
We're trying to get there before the girls.
We do not want them to get there first, so we're trying to rush.
- Really? We're traveling to Italy, and then we land Oh! We realize we're in Germany- like "dosseldorf.
" - We're in "dosseldorf.
" - What is it? Dusseldorf? - Dolcedorf.
- Dusseldorf.
- Dusseldorf.
- We have, like a two-hour layover.
So the Dusseldorf.
You know, that's funny.
- Next stop, Italy.
Finally.
[Wavve's take on the world.]
- # to take on the world # would be something, to take on the world - that looks like Florence up ahead.
This is the first time I've ever seen the motherland.
- We are here.
[Speaking Italian.]
- to take on the world would be something something - instead of landing in Florence, we landed in Milan.
So that's not where we need to be.
- I can't see, though.
- Just follow my weave.
- Ugh, I'm having an anxiety attack.
Whoa, driving blind.
Coming through.
Oh, God, I'm gonna run over somebody.
It's hard for all of us.
I mean, we can't luggage all that [Bleep.]
.
I mean, it's, like, 100 pounds each, and we're all, like, Ooh, I gotta convert my money somehow.
Is that where I get pesos? - Yeah, I would think so.
[Cracking noise.]
- Something just exploded.
- Is that poop? - My bronzer exploded! It just leaked.
- All of it? - Through the whole thing.
I am down a can of bronzer.
I only have about eight cans left.
And in my world, that'll last about ten days.
What's the easiest way to get to Florence? - Direct? - Is that for the train? - Train no, bus.
- We have to get on the bus.
- Ugh! - The bus is leaving.
- Can we run? - Let's go, girls.
Haul ass.
Well, how far is this thing? - Run.
- Come on, girls.
- I'm gonna [Bleep.]
In my pants.
- Oh, my God, they're running.
Where do we go? I'm just running.
[Loud thud.]
- Oh! - Fumble! Are you kidding me? I haven't been in Italy for two seconds and I already fell.
All: [Giggles.]
I think I broke my hand.
Who would've thought? Me falling on my face? Let's be real.
- Dude, my heart's in my throat right now.
This is what gives me blemishes.
Oh, [Bleep.]
.
Are you kidding me? - Where are you? - Jenni? - Around it.
- Oh.
- You have a wedgie.
- I know.
- I wonder if the boys are gonna have this much problems.
Whoo-hoo! Now I'm in Italy, and it's "situazione.
" When we land in Florence, I'm breathing Italian air for the first time, I have Italian sun on me.
I touch the ground just to feel the Italian ground for the first time.
So it's definitely cool, the way we arrived into Italy.
- What? - Gonna get a cab.
- Cab's here.
- Load 'em up, boys.
- I think we're gonna get to the house first.
We might get there without Mike and his nine bags of luggage 'cause we gotta take seven cabs.
- We need another one.
- But we're definitely gonna get to the house before the girls.
- Yo, how we doing this? - Move over.
Pauly move.
- Ooh.
- Oh, yeah.
Pack it in like a clown car.
- How do you say "go fast?" Fast, fast.
- Rapido.
- Say "ciao, ciao.
" The traffic.
[Horn honking.]
- Oh.
- This is not real life.
- The traffic.
[Horn honking.]
- I pictured we'd be there by now.
- This can't be normal traffic.
- So wait, our 45-minute trip now just turned into another three hours? - I feel like I'm gonna cry.
- Nicole.
- I'm not kidding.
- Are you all right? I'm not really gonna cry, I just feel like crying.
[Giggles.]
[Horn honking.]
- Firenze.
- Belle, belle.
This is Italy right there.
It is beautiful.
It's the most "beautifullest" country I've ever seen.
- Feel like I'm on Bradley Avenue.
- Driving through Florence for the first time, I'm just taking it all in.
Major culture shock right now.
Look at all these bikes.
Are these rented ones? They're, like, touching each other.
Yeah, those are all real.
- Ciao, Bella.
- Speak English to them.
- No, they like it when I speak Italian.
They like my Italian-English accent.
- I hope they don't put points on my license, 'cause I'm [Bleep.]
Italian- - no, we are not gonna be able to drive here.
- The streets are so small and the alleys are so narrow, Ronnie's not gonna be able to fit through the alley.
He's gonna have to turn himself sideways.
- Oy.
There it is.
- Is this our house right here? - Look at that.
- When we pull up to this house, it's humongous.
I don't even know what it is.
They got these big doors that could fit, like, I don't know, king Kong in them, they're so huge.
[Laughing.]
There's another flight.
All: [Cheers.]
- Watch out- - it's my cardio! - Where's the elevator? - Oh, yeah! - Oh, yeah! - Oh, my God.
- We went up two giant flights of stairs, until we finally got to the foyer of the castle.
- Oh, this is huge.
- There's beautiful views.
We have a nice, little patio, we have a grill - Big time, yeah.
- Jacuzzi.
We have a jacuzzi inside the house.
Let's grab rooms right now.
- I am grabbing rooms right now.
Wow, this is dope.
Oh, this is what's up.
Look at this.
- This is the room right here.
This is the [Bleep.]
Room.
- Yo, let's take it.
Let's claim it.
- Claim it right now.
- Scoping out all the rooms, I want a room with my boy Vinny for sure.
And the dopest room we found has three beds.
Me and Vinny got it on lock.
- I got this one.
- Ronnie! I'm with you.
- All right.
It's one room with two beds, and sitch grabs that immediately with Ronnie.
And we'll leave the rest of the rooms for the girls.
- Yo, what [Bleep.]
Girl is gonna be our third roommate, bro? Probably deena.
- Yeah, you know it's gonna be her.
- It could be deena.
- It's cool.
- The roommate situation was just, like I figure if me and Sam were together, we're probably gonna smush.
So let me not get myself into that kind of situation.
- Yo, we got the [Bleep.]
Thing that cleans your ass and [Bleep.]
.
We have a bidet.
So a bidet is very European.
It's a way of cleaning your butt hole after you go to the bathroom.
We're good.
It feels kinda good, too, you know? On a lonely night You know? - I can't believe we got here first.
- The girls are gonna be pissed.
- Uh.
- Look at how pretty.
- This is gorgeous.
- Oh, my God.
This is-this is it.
Is this it? I wonder if the boys are here.
Hello? - Oh, no.
- Oh, this isn't gonna work.
No.
- Hey, Ron.
- You cut your hair? - It's so difficult seeing your ex-boyfriend.
But he looks really good.
Oh, yeah! - Oh, my God.
This is-this is it.
- Wow! It's like a castle! - Oh, my God, this is so beautiful.
- Wow! Are the boys here? - What the [Bleep.]
? - Who is it? All: [Screams greetings.]
- What's up, girls? - Oh, my God.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, she smells like- smells like spray tan in here already.
- Oh! - How are you? Where's the rooms? Go.
- We walk into the house, and it is beautiful.
I'm in love.
Like, decorated Italy-style.
Everything's just gorgeous.
- I love this [Bleep.]
House.
- But I was pissed off because the boys were already there.
- Is there another room? - Hi.
- Did you cut your hair? - Yeah.
Cute.
- Ronnie looks good.
[Chuckles.]
Hey, Ronnie.
- I mean, it's so difficult seeing your ex-boyfriend, but he looks really good.
- Oh, yeah! I'm the tannest one here! Yeah! - You guys wanna see the outside? - Yeah.
- I don't know single Sammi, so I'm really curious to see what's gonna happen with Sammi.
I don't know if she's gonna go out there and try to get dudes.
And the onlyly thing I see changed, now she's got bigger boobs.
- Can you guys help us? - Yeah, we'll help you.
- Be careful, be careful, be careful.
- [Bleep.]
- It's great seeing the girls and everything, but [Bleep.]
, the girls come with 50 more bags that we have to pile up these stairs.
- [Grunts.]
It sounds like I'm having sex.
- Stick the Booty out.
- Deeper! Yeah, buddy.
- [Grunts.]
- Like that.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Get it! Oh, my go- you're a.
Both: [Grunts.]
- [Grunts.]
My heart is racing, and I smell like king Kong's ass[Bleep.]
.
- [Chuckles.]
- Where's my room? - Well, we have one extra bed in our room.
- Wait, there's a two-bedroom in there? There's a two-bed room, and there's one extra bed in our room.
- Do you want me to go with you guys? - Sure, why not? - He set that up.
Going into Jersey, I was definitely more into, like, the "Ronnie-type.
" But going into Italy, I'm definitely more into the "pauly-type.
" Like, pauly is lean, good-looking, - we're gonna hear deena bang dudes in her bed, yo.
- Maybe we could be, like, smush buddies.
You know, friends with benefits.
- What is that? - Don't ask what it is.
- Limoncello? - Don't ask what it is.
Limoncello.
- I like that stuff.
Me too.
First toast in Italy, it's only right to toast with limoncello.
- House shots! - It's an Italian drink, tastes like lemons.
It's really good, it's really strong.
We made it to Italy in one piece, we didn't lose not one baggage.
- Yay! All: [Chatter overlaps.]
- Salud! - [Speaking italian.]
- Salud, salud, salud - Yay! Cheers to another good time.
- Oh, yeah, it's warm.
- Oh, that's warm.
- Ugh! - Oh! It's bad warm.
That was bitter.
- Oh! - Bitter and sour.
- And yellow.
- [Laughing.]
- I need to get out of this house before I fall asleep.
- We're in Italy and it's 12:00 at night, but we don't care! - Your [Bleep.]
Are popping out of the side.
Did your boobs get bigger? I got smaller.
- They shrink when they're fake? - Oh, no.
Maybe my [Bleep.]
Fat got a little smaller.
ButThese [Bleep.]
Are, like, 700 ccs, and they're gonna stay 700 ccs.
- They don't shrink? - No.
- We should get fake boobs together.
- I want them.
- I'm scared of needles.
I just want them to not sag.
And the other one is bigger than the other, and it really pisses me off.
And and when I lay down, they go to the side.
- Ugh.
- It's annoying.
[Crackling.]
- Oh, [Bleep.]
, it burnt out.
I got a crisis.
- You burn another converter or another blow-dryer? - No, another blow-dryer.
And I even switched it.
I changed their voltage, and it still burnt out.
- Yeah, you're supposed to.
- It burnt out? - I think.
- I'm in trouble.
- What voltage is it? - I don't know.
- If I can't blow-dry my hair - 'Cause is that 18,000? If your voltage is 1,600, you need a 2,000 voltage.
- I'm bringing them all, 'cause I gotta straighten this out.
Damn voltage [Hair dryer blows.]
Yeah, buddy, that's what I'm talking about.
- It works? - Hell, yeah.
I almost had a big blow-out.
- Do you guys wanna do another shot? - Let's do it.
I'm down.
- You're not taking a shot? - I won't wake up for the gym.
Change your jeans too? Wow, he changed the whole Jeez, he changed the whole stuff.
- Ron, we're not going to the club, relax.
- I had to-I had to- - that's breaking.
[Crashing.]
- Whoa! - [Bleep.]
All: [Laughing.]
- Oh, my God.
- The best day of my life! That is the best day of my life! That is the best day of my life! [Laughing.]
Everything out here in Italy fits, like, 110-pound people.
Ronnie does not fit that description.
[Chuckles.]
He's a beast.
- Time to go.
- Ron! - Ron, what are you changing your shirt again? - Florence, Florence - First night in Florence.
- Florence.
All: [Laughing.]
if you could see the world - oh, what's that? What's that? - I kinda wanna look at that thing.
- Is this the Vatican? - Probably.
- Can we go in there? - I don't know.
- That looks like a painting, bro.
Oh, I love italia! Oh, wow, he's cute.
- He looks like a Metro.
- Yeah, that's my type.
- Is this the square right here? - Oh, my God! A Ferris wheel! Oh, my God, Ferris wheel! We want on the Ferris wheel.
- Ferris wheel.
All: [Screams.]
Faster, faster.
- Where we going? - Home.
- Yo, this way, this way, this way, this way, this way.
- No, it's this way.
- No, no.
- Go into this church- - go this way, go- yo, go this way.
Vinny, go this way.
- I thought snooks was single.
- No.
I feel like Mike wants to get it in.
Mike was saying, "oh, I thought Snooki was single?" [Speaking Italian.]
- What's he doing? What's he doing? I don't know.
Is that our house? - I feel like we should just make a right.
Swing to the right! You're stepping on me.
- This is beautiful.
[Chatter overlaps.]
- To the left! - This our house? [Knocking.]
- Ciao! - I cannot wait to go to the club.
Me, you, Vinny, and pauly.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are the single- like, and Sammi.
- Everybody's single.
- No, not snooks and Jen.
I thought snooks was single.
- No, but I love gianni for her, though.
I thought she was single - you thought Snooki was single? Yeah.
- But they - No.
- I think she's gonna be single out here.
- I don't think so.
- Nicole.
- No? - Mm-hmm.
- I'm a guy and I know that it just doesn't work like that.
But I'm a girl and I know.
- Well, I know-I know stuff that you don't know.
So - Everyone knows Nicole has a boyfriend.
I don't know what's going on with that.
I don't-I kinda feel like Mike wants to get it in.
- Mike was like, "oh, I thought Snooki was single.
" Just now.
I was like, "no.
" Why would he say that? - I don't know, why would he say that? - Eh! That's weird.
- Nicole's in a relationship with gianni, so Mike wants to ruin that.
There's, like, a switch in his head, like, it's like a disease.
That's what I felt like he was doing.
- Don't touch me.
Ew.
- I'm gonna pop it in there, yo.
Oh, make it rain, rain - You're getting drunk by yourself? - Yep.
- Weirdo.
- Me and Ron, I think we're kinda like avoiding each other.
Which is good.
I'd rather just keep it, like, separate.
- [Chuckles.]
- I'm gonna walk away, 'cause you guys are having a conversation.
- No, we weren't saying anything, like, crazy.
- I haven't seen Sam, actually, in, like, two or three months.
Still feelings there.
It's just that I feel like I'm-wanna have a good time and enjoy myself.
He's so gonna bang you.
He's gonna try to.
- I feel like he's gonna do his own thing.
No, I feel like, no.
- I feel like he's gonna try to woo you.
He's not gonna do it.
- What if he asked you on a romantic date? - Yeah, right.
Ron doesn't know how to do that.
[Farting sound.]
All: [Laughing.]
[Horn honks.]
- Wake up, brah! We're in Italy, you idiot.
Everybody needs to wake up, we're not sleeping away this time here in Italy.
[Grenade horn honks.]
Instead of a grenade whistle, we got this grenade horn.
[Grenade horn honks.]
I'm waking everybody up.
We need to hit g.
T.
L.
Good morning, Vincent.
Good morning, Vincent's beard.
Did you both sleep well? Let's have a meeting.
- I'm starving.
- I need to eat, bro.
Like, I have to eat.
- What's our street again? - "Viasta" or something.
- Well, they're all via.
- We don't even know how to read the map yet.
We don't even know how to ask questions about directions.
We should probably go to the closest- the closest place.
- I'm down.
- We better figure that stuff out before we go any further 'cause we're having problems with our map.
- Yo, this guy's gonna die.
- Let's go.
Let's just wing it, I'm down.
- Seriously.
Can you drive stick? I can.
- I can! - You're driving, let's go.
- Whoo! I'm driving! - Oh, my God, so We have to base our whole time here on Nicole and you? - Yes.
- I could teach you.
Finally, I'm useful for something, because I'm not useful for anything in this house.
But I can drive stick.
- Oh, my God.
But in Italy? - Listen - Really? - We got navigation, so wherever we gotta go just write down the address, that's it.
- I'm useful.
- Only one girl can drive.
And that's Nicole.
- We can only fit four people per car.
- I'm not looking forward to Nicole driving our car.
- Which one's mine? - That one's yours.
- This is it? - Oh, this [Bleep.]
'S dope.
- Three in front! - Wait, tell him not to go yet, I need to move this forward.
- We got it.
Should I give this to the girls? No, let them follow us.
- The navigation system in the car is in Italian.
I don't think the girls can understand the navigation system in English.
- Can you see if you can move my seat up forward? I feel like I need to scoot it up.
That's it.
- [Gasps.]
Whoa! - Oh, my God.
- Moving forward! Oh, my God, moving forward.
Is the car on? [Horn honking.]
- Wait, wait for the girls.
Wait for the girls.
We'll never get there.
- Can they wait? What're they doing? - Wait, am I gonna run over anybody? - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God, be careful.
This is [Bleep.]
Dope.
Normal people can't drive like this.
Yo, Snooki's definitely taking out some scooters.
- Scuzi.
- Go! - Policia.
- [Laughing.]
Where did the boys go? What does- does this mean to stop? - I don't know.
- What does this sign mean? - Looks like I'll be driving the whole trip.
- Like, Snooki's driving stick? [Horn honking.]
[Chuckles.]
Good luck with that.
- They're down there.
- They're down there.
[Chatter overlaps.]
- You have to do a u-ey.
[Sirens.]
- We're gonna die.
- Red light, okay? - Oh, sorry.
This is the last we saw them.
After this, I don't know.
[Speaking Italian.]
- Right here? Am I just allowed to go ahead? - You have to make a right I think.
- This place.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- I can't believe we got left like this.
On the first day.
- We need to go back to the house and get the address.
We're not in Jersey anymore.
- [Bleep.]
No.
- [Gps speaking Italian.]
- This thing doesn't even turn into English? [Horns honking.]
- I'm gonna tell you something, nobody knows about this Me and Snooki We kinda hooked up.
Oh, dear [Bleep.]
, Nicole.
Well, that was something.
- Let's go shopping to get what we need.
Where else are we going? - We need, like, a food place.
Like, a quick cafe, right? - We lose the boys, and I'm just like, "you know what? Guys, I really wanna go to the gym," like, let's [Bleep.]
Eating, let's go to the gym, and that's it.
- I'm still like- my body's still exhausted- [Fluttering.]
All: [Screams.]
- No way.
I don't freakin' do birds.
I don't do birds.
Like, get off of me.
Who comes that close? - I just saw you guys scream, you scared the [Bleep.]
Outta me.
I didn't even know what it was.
[Fluttering.]
- Oh! - [Giggles.]
- This sucks.
- [Bleep.]
Don't do that! - These pigeons are ruthless in Italy.
Ugh! They will attack you, and they will bite your ears off.
[Flutters.]
- What the hell, dude! - What is wrong with you? - Stop.
- I feel like they just don't like you and they just wanna eat your food.
Who flies that close? - I think it's here.
Right here? This way.
Is it in here? - Hi.
- Hi.
- Speak English? - Eh, sorry, sir.
- Ended up going to the gym without the girls.
We lost them.
We got there, no problem.
- [Speaking italian.]
- Luigi.
- Pauly d.
- Luigi, the owner of the gym, he's a cool old Italian guy.
Just like one of my uncles or something back home.
[Speaking Italian.]
- Dude, what he got Ronnie doing? - Luigi is, like, the guido Mr.
miyagi.
He's this old guy that doesn't look like he ever worked out in his life- I think he was smoking outside at one point- yet, he kinda knows what he's talking about.
Wax on, wax off type of [Bleep.]
.
Italian style.
High, high, high, high.
[Laughing.]
- [Laughing.]
- I want to eat somewhere.
You guys want to? - Dirtball isn't even the word right now.
- Yo, you guys took that one turn and that was it.
I'm working out.
- Snooks, you run up and down the stairs.
- I am.
- You strut your stuff! - Such an ass[Bleep.]
.
- You strut it, Snooki.
- [Bleep.]
[Bleep.]
If I don't work out, like, once a day, I get into this mood.
- [Laughing.]
- Jerk.
Where I wanna kill somebody.
If you say something wrong to me, I will [Bleep.]
You up.
- Look at this girl.
- [Indistinct.]
That's the pelvic thrust.
Nobody bother me, please.
- So Snooki is, like, all about the gym.
And these little Snooki work-outs I've never seen before.
I got a good seat over here.
I don't know where Snooki got these work-outs from.
It looks like she's having sex with herself, I don't know.
[Chuckles.]
Oh, my God! - [Laughing.]
- Ew! - Dee, are you goin', like, full-blown tonight? Or you doing, like, cas? Think I'm gonna do full-blown.
I'm so excited to go out tonight.
I just wanna dance my ass off.
I'm gonna do the Jersey turnpike all over the place, and I wanna make out with people.
[Electrical buzz.]
- No! It's working? - Dude, if my [Bleep.]
Thing broke, I'll be so pissed right now.
[Exasperated sigh.]
There's no [Bleep.]
Outlets in this place.
I don't understand it.
Do Italians not believe in electricity? [Electrical buzz.]
Is one sucks! - My straightener's not going on.
- So you probably blew it.
- This is annoying.
- I know this is an old city, but come on, we need more outlets.
Works out here.
- It does? That's good.
- I can't do my hair in the kitchen.
We have no choice.
- Four girls with weave in their hair, doing it by the counter and fridge.
Talk about disgusting.
- I've never been so excited for a straightener.
- I am too.
- I'm gonna give it to you.
I'm getting ready, I'm straightening my freakin' hair Oh, why is it smoking? - Smoking? - What the hell? - Is it smoking? - Oh, God.
- It's really hot.
I put mine on, like, really hot.
- Sammi's straightener starts sizzling like mine was, and I'm like, whatever, just one more piece.
Like, waiting for my hair to go on fire.
[Sizzling.]
Oh, my God, no.
Burns? This is like, it really, like, took off my hair.
- [Gasps.]
- My hair came off of my head and onto this freakin' iron.
Like, it really just burnt off my hair.
- Yo, is-is-nobody is out there, outside, right? I'm gonna tell you something.
Nobody knows about this.
And you can't tell it to anybody, you know what I mean? Okay, me and Me and Snooki WeKinda hooked up.
Like, two- like, two, three months ago.
- Like, what the [Bleep.]
Is going on? She had the boyfriend.
We spoke about it And she was like She was like, "yeah, there was something there.
" - You don't want that anymore though, dog.
- Me and Snooki hooked up in Jersey.
We were drunk one night in L.
A.
and we sorta had sex.
[Chuckles.]
But the third or fourth time that we hooked up was recent.
And that's when she had the boyfriend.
And that's when supposedly it was serious.
I'll be honest, kinda just seeing her the last day or two, I'm not gonna lie, I kinda like I think I'm starting to like her a little bit.
- I'm like, mind-boggled, because I have a girl that calls her boyfriend when she wakes up, calls her boyfriend before she goes out, calls her boyfriend after she gets home.
But she's gonna hook up with you? She's gonna [Bleep.]
Up that situation for this situation? I'm a little iffy about that.
No, you can't say nothing.
But, you know, we're really tight right now.
And if you say something, you're gonna [Bleep.]
Up a lot of [Bleep.]
.
- Give me a hug.
Give me a hug.
I don't know what the [Bleep.]
This guy is doing.
Oh, my God.
- So we're gonna go to this club, otel.
Vinny got the inside scoop.
It's pretty dope, brother.
Wait, so where is it? - We'll go up - Left.
- Left, and then we'll hit it.
- [Speaking Italian.]
[Speaking italian.]
Yeah, buddy.
I'm super excited, my first night out in Italy, and I'm going to the club.
I cannot wait to get there.
- Ugh! Pauly? - Yes.
- Please give me, like, - Do your thing, girl.
- Vinny! - What? - Are you gonna call a cab? - You calling a cab? - I'll try.
- [Speaking italian.]
- It's "el taxi", idiot.
- [Speaking italian.]
- [Speaking Italian.]
- [Speaking italian.]
- When you speak Italian to me, you gotta do it slow for me to understand.
- Zero, zero, zero, zero.
- And they talk really fast.
- We need two, Vinny.
- No-uh[Speaking Italian.]
- And we got eight people.
- [Speaking Italian.]
- [Chuckles.]
Sounds funny.
- Yo, cab's comin' in 20 minutes.
- Oh, man! - Should I wear, like, this? It is the first night out in Italy.
I'm trying to find the hottest outfit.
And I am so excited, I can't wait to see what the discotheques look like.
- when I go out, out, out I'm going in, in, in - padres, you better be lockin' up your bambinis, 'cause the situation's lookin' f.
T.
D.
Tonight, and this is the first night out, and you better believe it's gonna be a good night.
[Sighs.]
- Nine minutes! - Shh! Freaking me out.
- What do you think? - Whoa! - You like it? - Can see your vagina.
- Holy tayta! - Yeah, it's that bra.
- Whoa.
- Should I put on a normal bra? - Hell no.
- Or is this good? Work it, girl.
If I had those I would work with them too.
If deena's boobies could talk, they would say, "I'm a good time, I'm a blast in a bra.
" They look fake, right? It's fun.
- They look like fun bags.
- Oh, yeah! - Deena does have some cute attributes.
She got a fat ass, she got boobs But at the same time, like, she's just one of the guys.
[Speaking Italian.]
- [Speaking italian.]
That's all you gotta say.
Here is qui.
- Taxi arrivati, they have arrived.
- That means "they have arrived" but you don't say that.
You don't go, "cabs have arrived.
So in America, pauly's like, "cabs are here!" In Italy, Paul would be like, [Speaking Italian.]
[Speaking Italian.]
[Speaking Italian.]
- Ready, let's go, let's go.
[Speaking Italian.]
- We're going out to the club for the first time in Italy.
We look hot.
- I'm, like, really suited for these clubs, so I can't wait to just get in there and kick some [Bleep.]
.
Whoo! Fun! [Club music.]
- Look at that! - I know! I am in love with this place.
The lights are going, the music's, like, amazing.
She's hot.
Whoa! - This is better than d'jais in belmar.
And d'jais is my best place.
Just saying.
- sexin' on the dance floor gettin' hot, hot, sexin' on the dance floor - trying to communicate with these Italian men, it's gonna be a lot of hand motions, and a lot of shaking the butt.
one, two, three, four sexing on the dance floor I don't know what you're telling me to hey! The club is bumpin'.
I actually looked to my left, and there's actually a cute girl there and I just waved her over, like, "come with me.
Come with the situation.
" Speak any English? - Um No, no, no.
She didn't speak a lick of English, and I had to go back and forth to pretty much Vinny to introduce and see if these girls wanted to hang out with us.
- she's movin' like you're still at the club what about her? - I am the ambassador to my roommates.
I'm the only one that speaks Italian, so all the guys in the house gotta come to me when they wanna say something to a girl, or know what a girl is sayin' back to them.
What do you want me to tell her? So I'm pretty much a necessity.
Maybe they'll get me free drinks for that.
- You like, you like? - you're the girl - ciao.
- I've been lookin' for all night - Vinny's the only way that the guys can get game to the girls in Italy.
Good luck.
Cheers to Italy! I love Italy! I'm enjoying myself.
I'm actually, like, happy for once.
I'm not tryin' to be miserable.
How many shots? No more tears for Sammi "sweetheart.
" - Italy! Whoo! - Italy, I feel like I'm coming into my own a little bit.
Like, you know, I'm just, I wanna have a good time.
Whether I'm dancin' with jenni or Snooki, whether I'm dancin with deena, whether I'm dancin' with pauly.
Like, I just wanna dance.
- I love having single Ronnie around because he's a happier person.
We're gonna be, like, a constant, like, positive manly brotherhood going on.
So that'll keep Ronnie away from the dark side.
[Loud club music.]
- Give me a hug, give me a hug.
- Oh! - Love you, baby.
Love you too, Mike.
- You just think Mike is [Bleep.]
Outta left [Bleep.]
Field.
- Oh, my God.
- Mike needs to know, like, stop, leave Nicole alone.
She does have a boyfriend.
For real, come here.
- I don't know what the [Bleep.]
This guy's doing.
- Oh, my God.
- Look at.
I know Mike would hook-up with Snooki, but I don't know if Snooki would hook up with Mike.
Hopefully not.
I kinda feel like I don't want Mike to do that to snook.
Like, she's happy with the kid.
Let her be happy.
Like, don't [Bleep.]
It up.
[Speaking Italian.]
What's he doing? What's he doing? What - let's just break into it.
- What's he doing? - I don't know.
- Love you, baby.
- Love you too, Mike.
For reals, come here.
[Speaking Italian.]
She's like, no.
I'm at the club, and I'm having a few drinks right now, and I turn around, and I see Mike, and I'm like, "oh, my God," and I go like this And I'm like - That behavior.
- What? - Roger's coming with gianni.
- Gianni, yeah.
So watch it, or you get your [Bleep.]
Ass busted.
Hey! - I wanna dance with you night and day yo, I promise you, I promise you, babe come on, baby, let's get buck wild I'll do anything to make you smile do you understand what I'm saying - say it in Italian.
- [Speaking Italian.]
[Chatter overlaps.]
- My game plan is flirt with pauly.
And you know, like, if it goes somewhere else it goes somewhere else.
- What do you want me to do? - Nothing.
Then tell me.
Right now? - Deena definitely has a crush on pauly.
All: [Screaming cheers.]
What the hell? Deena can die happy now.
- Whoo! - Vinny's pissed.
[Screams.]
- What the [Bleep.]
Has this house become? I knew it was a whorehouse, but I didn't know what to expect out here in Italy.
[Laughing.]
[Screams.]
Yeah! Yeah! - I love Italy! - Whoo! - Fist pump, like this.
Oh, oh! Get it, go, go! We're in Italy.
Ciao, good, how are you? Like, I'm dancing, I'm meeting people.
- Holy [bleep.]
.
- It's a beautiful place, beautiful women.
- Ready? Go.
- You know, this is-- this is unbelievable.
- ? this girl's a freak ? - I'm gonna [bleep.]
fist pump till my [bleep.]
arm falls off.
- Nicole, you better not kill us.
- Slow down.
- Oh, my god! [crunching thud.]
- Two cops went out on a stretcher.
- [speaking italian.]
- And now she's in an italian jail.
- I'm sorry.
- Yo, I got this new move to show off.
- Ooh, and you're gonna get all the girls.
- Stop acting like a [bleep.]
ass[bleep.]
! - I will [bleep.]
knock that bitch out.
- There's definitely something between me and you.
- I do have a soft spot for mike.
But I love my boyfriend.
Gianni, I'm not kidding, stop.
I don't deserve this right now.
- What happened? - Mike is being a [bleep.]
douche bag.
Mike is a [bleep.]
[bleep.]
[bleep.]
! [bleep.]
[bleep.]
[bleep.]
[bleep.]
! - I didn't do [bleep.]
.
- [bleep.]
you! Mike, I'm not kidding! [glass shatters.]
- This house went from, like, this To like, bep, in, like, two seconds.
- I don't give a [bleep.]
about relationships! I have to stay away all the [bleep.]
time! - I have a lot of anger built up to mike, And I think it's time for me to do what I have to do.
- Like that! - Stop it.
- Let's do it! - Stop! - Let's do it! [heart rate monitor beeps slowly.]
[emergency sirens blare.]
- [bad italian accent.]
yo, she wants my sausage, I gotta give it to her.
I'm gonna give it to her.
- It takes something really bad happening in this house To realize how much we love each other.
All: Firenze! - Wait, is "firenze" florence? - Yeah.
- Okay.
- get crazy, get wild dj pauly delvecchio.
- I'm going to Jersey shore, bitch! All right, we got a situation.
- I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.
[Laughing.]
- After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.
- Go Vinny, go Vinny! - let's party, get loud you like the boobs? - # do something crazy # - ah! [Hip-hop record scratching.]
Cab here in time.
[Speaking Italian.]
.
- [Speaking italian.]
All: [Laughing.]
- Yo, I'm going to Italy.
Super excited.
They need to know that I'm coming for them.
My hairdryer.
The one thing I am bringing, 'cause I got a big blowout, is the international plug.
Just hope the rest of them bring it, 'cause they're not using mine.
When I get to Italy, it's gonna be like an international panty raid.
I'm going crazy.
I need to get some passport photos, please.
Ready? I have a passport, regular license, international license.
I'm ready to hit Italy.
Passports are here! Oh, yeah! I figure an Italian guy in a Vespa is like a hot guy here on a street bike.
All: Yeah.
- I am so excited to go to Italy! I'm gonna do everything wait, ciao is for "hello" and "good-bye.
" - Yeah.
- What about "thank you?" - Gracias.
- That's Spanish.
- In Italy, I'm expecting to bring a guy home, but I won't do sex.
Do you like the boobs? - Very nice.
[Camera clicks.]
- You know, maybe just, like, figure them out and then maybe do sex later.
Italy, bitches! - Bella.
Tu Bella.
[Speaking italian.]
There are a lot of things that I wanna accomplish in Italy.
[Speaking Italian.]
I want to learn Italian.
I want to master the language.
D.
T.
F.
Come with me [Speaks italian.]
I have a big I wanna find a nice, real, Italian, traditional girl.
Vinny's always been [Bleep.]
Mature, all right? [Clears throat.]
But this time, I'm mature with a beard.
I don't know if any of the housemates are gonna recognize me with this beard.
I'm so much more better-looking.
[Phone ringing.]
Hello? - Vinny, are you all packed up, my dude? - Yeah, I'm packed up pretty much.
Why? What's up? - Well, yo, check this out.
Since we're all going to Italy together, I was gonna come by staten island, scoop you up, and then we'll go to the airport together.
- No, how about this? Come to my family's house.
We'll get Uncle nino over there, we'll get the boys, and we'll send us off the right way.
- That's what I'm talkin' about.
- All right, bro, see you soon.
- Mom! I'm very excited to go to Italy.
Do you think they sell eyelashes in Italy? It's kind of like another world.
It's, like, I don't know what goes on there.
[Screams.]
I started to see this guy.
We've been together for six months.
- God.
- I need panties.
Unless you want me to go commando.
- No, they'll fit.
- Obviously, gianni's, like, a little bit nervous about me going to Italy because it's kind of like a long-distance relationship.
- Do you have anymore suitcases? - No.
- All right.
- I think he's, you know, a little scared with Vinny.
But you know, I reassured him that's definitely not gonna happen.
I'm not gonna be an idiot and [Bleep.]
This up.
You gonna be good? - I'll be good.
- I'll be good.
- All right.
Better be.
- I have no idea where Italy is on the map.
But I do know what shape it is, and it's like a boot.
- How you doing, buddy? - Good.
- Uh, I actually, I need a passport.
- Absolutely, just step right over here.
- Lock up your daughters, handcuff your wives, the situation's taking over the Italian nation.
Oh, wow, that's hot.
The difference between an Italian girl and a Jersey girl is European girls are more free-spirited.
And I'm excited to find out.
Snooks called me yesterday.
She was like, "oh, my God, I lost so much weight.
You know, you're gonna love me," or whatever.
And I didn't know.
I mean If she lost some pounds I'll hit it.
- [Chuckles.]
Look at that smile.
- Yes.
- This way? - A little bit more.
- Jwoww and her boobies are going to Italy.
Italy has no idea.
I will be shocked as all hell if I see a gorilla in Italy.
- You look amazing.
- After the shore house, I kept my relationship going with Roger.
- If a guy comes up, you're out, whatever, grabs your ass Italian guys are known to be, like, kinda touchy-feely.
Boom.
- And then just walk away.
- Out, done.
That's it.
- I wouldn't cheat on Roger in Italy, but I don't even think they make with tattoos out there so nobody really has anything to worry about.
I just wanna make sure that I stay like this in Italy.
Me too.
- What up, Italy? Single Ronnie's back.
Single Ronnie, worrying about himself, going to Italy with three of his boys.
Passport picture? Gun show.
Good lookin' guy right there.
Fresh start in Italy.
No more being a bitch.
- If you go out with Sam, I'm gonna kick you in your [Bleep.]
Nuts when you get back, I swear to God.
- In Italy, there'll be no more me and Sam drama.
'Cause I just wanna have a good time.
- No crying.
No, none of that.
- I have cramps [Speaking Italian.]
- [Laughing.]
- My motto for Italy is to not sit at home and cry, lie in my bed, be miserable, sulk in my own sorrows Food and drink.
Both: Where's the alcohol? - Me and Ron broke up after seaside.
I had time to heal.
And I'm okay with things.
Me and Ron, enough time has passed.
But I, like, will always love him.
And we're just friends.
I feel, like, so much better about myself.
I'm not gonna let the whole, like, Ron thing really get to me.
In that house, there's always issues.
- But you just have to come out on top.
- You don't have to be on top, okay? Oh, my God! - Please don't- just please don't- - # so be my Jersey girl # - oh, my God.
- Uh, I totally just broke my nail.
- # the girl inside # - me and the girls came up with a game plan.
We're gonna get together at deena's and slumber party, and fun, and fly out together.
And obviously, it's gonna be a race between the girls and the guys to get to the house and pick rooms.
- We should've rented a van, that's what we should've did.
- Dad, no! You're squishing them.
Whoo-hoo! [Horn honking.]
- # you're a Jersey girl # - Italy, here I come! Whoo! - First thing you're gonna do.
What's the first thing you're gonna do when you get there? - I'm gonna find out the age of consent.
All: [Chuckles.]
Lift their arms, and if they got hair you're good to go.
- So my boys are gonna be here any second, and I'm very excited that they're gonna enjoy my family feast before we all go to Italy.
We don't want any.
All: Oh! - My family, they are Italians, the right way.
Dj pauly d's here! - There's nothing more authentic than my family.
[Chatter overlaps.]
- Look at this boy, like a big [Bleep.]
Spartan! The food had to have been the table.
If you wanna say d.
T.
[Bleep.]
, you say, [Speaking Italian.]
All: [Laughing.]
- So our game plan for this dinner is we're gonna eat a lot, and then learn some Italian, and then plan out what we're gonna do once we hit Italy.
[Speaking italian.]
All: [Laughing.]
Yay! Hi! - Hi.
- I was so excited for everybody to get here, I'm ready to pop open some champagne.
Hey, you.
- How many bags do you have? Just one? - Three.
- All right.
- Hi! - Hey.
This bitch has eight freakin' bags, if not more.
Holy [Bleep.]
.
- I know.
- Really? - Who the hell is carrying your bags through the airport? - I don't know what guys do on sleepovers, though.
- They probably had strippers over.
- Now I feel bad, I should've ordered some male strippers.
- Hey, dad.
- Okay, I'm ready.
- Ew! All: [Laughing.]
- No offense.
- [Chuckles.]
- All right, focus, gentlemen! - What? - From the airport.
Okay, I need a game plan.
I need a way to get to the house.
How are we getting there? - It depends.
- Bus or a train.
- Whatever we do, we have to get there before the girls.
I don't want them to get the good room.
- Dude, we can get there a day late and still get there before the girls.
I don't know what the house looks like, I don't know where it is, but I need to be in a nice room.
And I would love to just roommate with my boy pauly again.
- What time you have to get up tomorrow morning? Oh, early flight.
[Club music.]
- everybody hit the floor and get ready to roll - you ready? Where's my stuff? - # ready, ready, ready # [Horn honking alarm.]
- I'm feeling great.
Wake up this morning, I'm ready to hit it.
I'm ready to hit the airport.
- Men, we're ready? - Let's go.
Bye, love you.
Make sure you call me! All: We're going to Italy! Whoo! - Whoo-hoo! - Yes! - We're going to italia, italia.
- Can't wait to go to Italy! - Yeah, buddy.
- Bye, bye, vin.
Whoo! - Italy, get ready, because here we come.
Blast in a glass, bitches.
- Good-bye, United States of America.
[Speaking Italian.]
[Chuckles.]
- How do you say "go fast?" Fast, fast? - Rapido.
- Ciao.
- Haul ass.
- Where do we go? I'm just running.
- Fumble! Are you kidding me? - This is how the guidos get to italia.
First we stop off at Madrid to pick up a few hotties.
- [Chuckles.]
- Can we walk in Madrid first? - Madrid, first.
Do a layover in Madrid, first.
- The girls have a layover too? We have a connecting flight in Madrid.
We don't know if the girls have a connecting flight.
We're trying to get there before the girls.
We do not want them to get there first, so we're trying to rush.
- Really? We're traveling to Italy, and then we land Oh! We realize we're in Germany- like "dosseldorf.
" - We're in "dosseldorf.
" - What is it? Dusseldorf? - Dolcedorf.
- Dusseldorf.
- Dusseldorf.
- We have, like a two-hour layover.
So the Dusseldorf.
You know, that's funny.
- Next stop, Italy.
Finally.
[Wavve's take on the world.]
- # to take on the world # would be something, to take on the world - that looks like Florence up ahead.
This is the first time I've ever seen the motherland.
- We are here.
[Speaking Italian.]
- to take on the world would be something something - instead of landing in Florence, we landed in Milan.
So that's not where we need to be.
- I can't see, though.
- Just follow my weave.
- Ugh, I'm having an anxiety attack.
Whoa, driving blind.
Coming through.
Oh, God, I'm gonna run over somebody.
It's hard for all of us.
I mean, we can't luggage all that [Bleep.]
.
I mean, it's, like, 100 pounds each, and we're all, like, Ooh, I gotta convert my money somehow.
Is that where I get pesos? - Yeah, I would think so.
[Cracking noise.]
- Something just exploded.
- Is that poop? - My bronzer exploded! It just leaked.
- All of it? - Through the whole thing.
I am down a can of bronzer.
I only have about eight cans left.
And in my world, that'll last about ten days.
What's the easiest way to get to Florence? - Direct? - Is that for the train? - Train no, bus.
- We have to get on the bus.
- Ugh! - The bus is leaving.
- Can we run? - Let's go, girls.
Haul ass.
Well, how far is this thing? - Run.
- Come on, girls.
- I'm gonna [Bleep.]
In my pants.
- Oh, my God, they're running.
Where do we go? I'm just running.
[Loud thud.]
- Oh! - Fumble! Are you kidding me? I haven't been in Italy for two seconds and I already fell.
All: [Giggles.]
I think I broke my hand.
Who would've thought? Me falling on my face? Let's be real.
- Dude, my heart's in my throat right now.
This is what gives me blemishes.
Oh, [Bleep.]
.
Are you kidding me? - Where are you? - Jenni? - Around it.
- Oh.
- You have a wedgie.
- I know.
- I wonder if the boys are gonna have this much problems.
Whoo-hoo! Now I'm in Italy, and it's "situazione.
" When we land in Florence, I'm breathing Italian air for the first time, I have Italian sun on me.
I touch the ground just to feel the Italian ground for the first time.
So it's definitely cool, the way we arrived into Italy.
- What? - Gonna get a cab.
- Cab's here.
- Load 'em up, boys.
- I think we're gonna get to the house first.
We might get there without Mike and his nine bags of luggage 'cause we gotta take seven cabs.
- We need another one.
- But we're definitely gonna get to the house before the girls.
- Yo, how we doing this? - Move over.
Pauly move.
- Ooh.
- Oh, yeah.
Pack it in like a clown car.
- How do you say "go fast?" Fast, fast.
- Rapido.
- Say "ciao, ciao.
" The traffic.
[Horn honking.]
- Oh.
- This is not real life.
- The traffic.
[Horn honking.]
- I pictured we'd be there by now.
- This can't be normal traffic.
- So wait, our 45-minute trip now just turned into another three hours? - I feel like I'm gonna cry.
- Nicole.
- I'm not kidding.
- Are you all right? I'm not really gonna cry, I just feel like crying.
[Giggles.]
[Horn honking.]
- Firenze.
- Belle, belle.
This is Italy right there.
It is beautiful.
It's the most "beautifullest" country I've ever seen.
- Feel like I'm on Bradley Avenue.
- Driving through Florence for the first time, I'm just taking it all in.
Major culture shock right now.
Look at all these bikes.
Are these rented ones? They're, like, touching each other.
Yeah, those are all real.
- Ciao, Bella.
- Speak English to them.
- No, they like it when I speak Italian.
They like my Italian-English accent.
- I hope they don't put points on my license, 'cause I'm [Bleep.]
Italian- - no, we are not gonna be able to drive here.
- The streets are so small and the alleys are so narrow, Ronnie's not gonna be able to fit through the alley.
He's gonna have to turn himself sideways.
- Oy.
There it is.
- Is this our house right here? - Look at that.
- When we pull up to this house, it's humongous.
I don't even know what it is.
They got these big doors that could fit, like, I don't know, king Kong in them, they're so huge.
[Laughing.]
There's another flight.
All: [Cheers.]
- Watch out- - it's my cardio! - Where's the elevator? - Oh, yeah! - Oh, yeah! - Oh, my God.
- We went up two giant flights of stairs, until we finally got to the foyer of the castle.
- Oh, this is huge.
- There's beautiful views.
We have a nice, little patio, we have a grill - Big time, yeah.
- Jacuzzi.
We have a jacuzzi inside the house.
Let's grab rooms right now.
- I am grabbing rooms right now.
Wow, this is dope.
Oh, this is what's up.
Look at this.
- This is the room right here.
This is the [Bleep.]
Room.
- Yo, let's take it.
Let's claim it.
- Claim it right now.
- Scoping out all the rooms, I want a room with my boy Vinny for sure.
And the dopest room we found has three beds.
Me and Vinny got it on lock.
- I got this one.
- Ronnie! I'm with you.
- All right.
It's one room with two beds, and sitch grabs that immediately with Ronnie.
And we'll leave the rest of the rooms for the girls.
- Yo, what [Bleep.]
Girl is gonna be our third roommate, bro? Probably deena.
- Yeah, you know it's gonna be her.
- It could be deena.
- It's cool.
- The roommate situation was just, like I figure if me and Sam were together, we're probably gonna smush.
So let me not get myself into that kind of situation.
- Yo, we got the [Bleep.]
Thing that cleans your ass and [Bleep.]
.
We have a bidet.
So a bidet is very European.
It's a way of cleaning your butt hole after you go to the bathroom.
We're good.
It feels kinda good, too, you know? On a lonely night You know? - I can't believe we got here first.
- The girls are gonna be pissed.
- Uh.
- Look at how pretty.
- This is gorgeous.
- Oh, my God.
This is-this is it.
Is this it? I wonder if the boys are here.
Hello? - Oh, no.
- Oh, this isn't gonna work.
No.
- Hey, Ron.
- You cut your hair? - It's so difficult seeing your ex-boyfriend.
But he looks really good.
Oh, yeah! - Oh, my God.
This is-this is it.
- Wow! It's like a castle! - Oh, my God, this is so beautiful.
- Wow! Are the boys here? - What the [Bleep.]
? - Who is it? All: [Screams greetings.]
- What's up, girls? - Oh, my God.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, she smells like- smells like spray tan in here already.
- Oh! - How are you? Where's the rooms? Go.
- We walk into the house, and it is beautiful.
I'm in love.
Like, decorated Italy-style.
Everything's just gorgeous.
- I love this [Bleep.]
House.
- But I was pissed off because the boys were already there.
- Is there another room? - Hi.
- Did you cut your hair? - Yeah.
Cute.
- Ronnie looks good.
[Chuckles.]
Hey, Ronnie.
- I mean, it's so difficult seeing your ex-boyfriend, but he looks really good.
- Oh, yeah! I'm the tannest one here! Yeah! - You guys wanna see the outside? - Yeah.
- I don't know single Sammi, so I'm really curious to see what's gonna happen with Sammi.
I don't know if she's gonna go out there and try to get dudes.
And the onlyly thing I see changed, now she's got bigger boobs.
- Can you guys help us? - Yeah, we'll help you.
- Be careful, be careful, be careful.
- [Bleep.]
- It's great seeing the girls and everything, but [Bleep.]
, the girls come with 50 more bags that we have to pile up these stairs.
- [Grunts.]
It sounds like I'm having sex.
- Stick the Booty out.
- Deeper! Yeah, buddy.
- [Grunts.]
- Like that.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Get it! Oh, my go- you're a.
Both: [Grunts.]
- [Grunts.]
My heart is racing, and I smell like king Kong's ass[Bleep.]
.
- [Chuckles.]
- Where's my room? - Well, we have one extra bed in our room.
- Wait, there's a two-bedroom in there? There's a two-bed room, and there's one extra bed in our room.
- Do you want me to go with you guys? - Sure, why not? - He set that up.
Going into Jersey, I was definitely more into, like, the "Ronnie-type.
" But going into Italy, I'm definitely more into the "pauly-type.
" Like, pauly is lean, good-looking, - we're gonna hear deena bang dudes in her bed, yo.
- Maybe we could be, like, smush buddies.
You know, friends with benefits.
- What is that? - Don't ask what it is.
- Limoncello? - Don't ask what it is.
Limoncello.
- I like that stuff.
Me too.
First toast in Italy, it's only right to toast with limoncello.
- House shots! - It's an Italian drink, tastes like lemons.
It's really good, it's really strong.
We made it to Italy in one piece, we didn't lose not one baggage.
- Yay! All: [Chatter overlaps.]
- Salud! - [Speaking italian.]
- Salud, salud, salud - Yay! Cheers to another good time.
- Oh, yeah, it's warm.
- Oh, that's warm.
- Ugh! - Oh! It's bad warm.
That was bitter.
- Oh! - Bitter and sour.
- And yellow.
- [Laughing.]
- I need to get out of this house before I fall asleep.
- We're in Italy and it's 12:00 at night, but we don't care! - Your [Bleep.]
Are popping out of the side.
Did your boobs get bigger? I got smaller.
- They shrink when they're fake? - Oh, no.
Maybe my [Bleep.]
Fat got a little smaller.
ButThese [Bleep.]
Are, like, 700 ccs, and they're gonna stay 700 ccs.
- They don't shrink? - No.
- We should get fake boobs together.
- I want them.
- I'm scared of needles.
I just want them to not sag.
And the other one is bigger than the other, and it really pisses me off.
And and when I lay down, they go to the side.
- Ugh.
- It's annoying.
[Crackling.]
- Oh, [Bleep.]
, it burnt out.
I got a crisis.
- You burn another converter or another blow-dryer? - No, another blow-dryer.
And I even switched it.
I changed their voltage, and it still burnt out.
- Yeah, you're supposed to.
- It burnt out? - I think.
- I'm in trouble.
- What voltage is it? - I don't know.
- If I can't blow-dry my hair - 'Cause is that 18,000? If your voltage is 1,600, you need a 2,000 voltage.
- I'm bringing them all, 'cause I gotta straighten this out.
Damn voltage [Hair dryer blows.]
Yeah, buddy, that's what I'm talking about.
- It works? - Hell, yeah.
I almost had a big blow-out.
- Do you guys wanna do another shot? - Let's do it.
I'm down.
- You're not taking a shot? - I won't wake up for the gym.
Change your jeans too? Wow, he changed the whole Jeez, he changed the whole stuff.
- Ron, we're not going to the club, relax.
- I had to-I had to- - that's breaking.
[Crashing.]
- Whoa! - [Bleep.]
All: [Laughing.]
- Oh, my God.
- The best day of my life! That is the best day of my life! That is the best day of my life! [Laughing.]
Everything out here in Italy fits, like, 110-pound people.
Ronnie does not fit that description.
[Chuckles.]
He's a beast.
- Time to go.
- Ron! - Ron, what are you changing your shirt again? - Florence, Florence - First night in Florence.
- Florence.
All: [Laughing.]
if you could see the world - oh, what's that? What's that? - I kinda wanna look at that thing.
- Is this the Vatican? - Probably.
- Can we go in there? - I don't know.
- That looks like a painting, bro.
Oh, I love italia! Oh, wow, he's cute.
- He looks like a Metro.
- Yeah, that's my type.
- Is this the square right here? - Oh, my God! A Ferris wheel! Oh, my God, Ferris wheel! We want on the Ferris wheel.
- Ferris wheel.
All: [Screams.]
Faster, faster.
- Where we going? - Home.
- Yo, this way, this way, this way, this way, this way.
- No, it's this way.
- No, no.
- Go into this church- - go this way, go- yo, go this way.
Vinny, go this way.
- I thought snooks was single.
- No.
I feel like Mike wants to get it in.
Mike was saying, "oh, I thought Snooki was single?" [Speaking Italian.]
- What's he doing? What's he doing? I don't know.
Is that our house? - I feel like we should just make a right.
Swing to the right! You're stepping on me.
- This is beautiful.
[Chatter overlaps.]
- To the left! - This our house? [Knocking.]
- Ciao! - I cannot wait to go to the club.
Me, you, Vinny, and pauly.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are the single- like, and Sammi.
- Everybody's single.
- No, not snooks and Jen.
I thought snooks was single.
- No, but I love gianni for her, though.
I thought she was single - you thought Snooki was single? Yeah.
- But they - No.
- I think she's gonna be single out here.
- I don't think so.
- Nicole.
- No? - Mm-hmm.
- I'm a guy and I know that it just doesn't work like that.
But I'm a girl and I know.
- Well, I know-I know stuff that you don't know.
So - Everyone knows Nicole has a boyfriend.
I don't know what's going on with that.
I don't-I kinda feel like Mike wants to get it in.
- Mike was like, "oh, I thought Snooki was single.
" Just now.
I was like, "no.
" Why would he say that? - I don't know, why would he say that? - Eh! That's weird.
- Nicole's in a relationship with gianni, so Mike wants to ruin that.
There's, like, a switch in his head, like, it's like a disease.
That's what I felt like he was doing.
- Don't touch me.
Ew.
- I'm gonna pop it in there, yo.
Oh, make it rain, rain - You're getting drunk by yourself? - Yep.
- Weirdo.
- Me and Ron, I think we're kinda like avoiding each other.
Which is good.
I'd rather just keep it, like, separate.
- [Chuckles.]
- I'm gonna walk away, 'cause you guys are having a conversation.
- No, we weren't saying anything, like, crazy.
- I haven't seen Sam, actually, in, like, two or three months.
Still feelings there.
It's just that I feel like I'm-wanna have a good time and enjoy myself.
He's so gonna bang you.
He's gonna try to.
- I feel like he's gonna do his own thing.
No, I feel like, no.
- I feel like he's gonna try to woo you.
He's not gonna do it.
- What if he asked you on a romantic date? - Yeah, right.
Ron doesn't know how to do that.
[Farting sound.]
All: [Laughing.]
[Horn honks.]
- Wake up, brah! We're in Italy, you idiot.
Everybody needs to wake up, we're not sleeping away this time here in Italy.
[Grenade horn honks.]
Instead of a grenade whistle, we got this grenade horn.
[Grenade horn honks.]
I'm waking everybody up.
We need to hit g.
T.
L.
Good morning, Vincent.
Good morning, Vincent's beard.
Did you both sleep well? Let's have a meeting.
- I'm starving.
- I need to eat, bro.
Like, I have to eat.
- What's our street again? - "Viasta" or something.
- Well, they're all via.
- We don't even know how to read the map yet.
We don't even know how to ask questions about directions.
We should probably go to the closest- the closest place.
- I'm down.
- We better figure that stuff out before we go any further 'cause we're having problems with our map.
- Yo, this guy's gonna die.
- Let's go.
Let's just wing it, I'm down.
- Seriously.
Can you drive stick? I can.
- I can! - You're driving, let's go.
- Whoo! I'm driving! - Oh, my God, so We have to base our whole time here on Nicole and you? - Yes.
- I could teach you.
Finally, I'm useful for something, because I'm not useful for anything in this house.
But I can drive stick.
- Oh, my God.
But in Italy? - Listen - Really? - We got navigation, so wherever we gotta go just write down the address, that's it.
- I'm useful.
- Only one girl can drive.
And that's Nicole.
- We can only fit four people per car.
- I'm not looking forward to Nicole driving our car.
- Which one's mine? - That one's yours.
- This is it? - Oh, this [Bleep.]
'S dope.
- Three in front! - Wait, tell him not to go yet, I need to move this forward.
- We got it.
Should I give this to the girls? No, let them follow us.
- The navigation system in the car is in Italian.
I don't think the girls can understand the navigation system in English.
- Can you see if you can move my seat up forward? I feel like I need to scoot it up.
That's it.
- [Gasps.]
Whoa! - Oh, my God.
- Moving forward! Oh, my God, moving forward.
Is the car on? [Horn honking.]
- Wait, wait for the girls.
Wait for the girls.
We'll never get there.
- Can they wait? What're they doing? - Wait, am I gonna run over anybody? - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God, be careful.
This is [Bleep.]
Dope.
Normal people can't drive like this.
Yo, Snooki's definitely taking out some scooters.
- Scuzi.
- Go! - Policia.
- [Laughing.]
Where did the boys go? What does- does this mean to stop? - I don't know.
- What does this sign mean? - Looks like I'll be driving the whole trip.
- Like, Snooki's driving stick? [Horn honking.]
[Chuckles.]
Good luck with that.
- They're down there.
- They're down there.
[Chatter overlaps.]
- You have to do a u-ey.
[Sirens.]
- We're gonna die.
- Red light, okay? - Oh, sorry.
This is the last we saw them.
After this, I don't know.
[Speaking Italian.]
- Right here? Am I just allowed to go ahead? - You have to make a right I think.
- This place.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- I can't believe we got left like this.
On the first day.
- We need to go back to the house and get the address.
We're not in Jersey anymore.
- [Bleep.]
No.
- [Gps speaking Italian.]
- This thing doesn't even turn into English? [Horns honking.]
- I'm gonna tell you something, nobody knows about this Me and Snooki We kinda hooked up.
Oh, dear [Bleep.]
, Nicole.
Well, that was something.
- Let's go shopping to get what we need.
Where else are we going? - We need, like, a food place.
Like, a quick cafe, right? - We lose the boys, and I'm just like, "you know what? Guys, I really wanna go to the gym," like, let's [Bleep.]
Eating, let's go to the gym, and that's it.
- I'm still like- my body's still exhausted- [Fluttering.]
All: [Screams.]
- No way.
I don't freakin' do birds.
I don't do birds.
Like, get off of me.
Who comes that close? - I just saw you guys scream, you scared the [Bleep.]
Outta me.
I didn't even know what it was.
[Fluttering.]
- Oh! - [Giggles.]
- This sucks.
- [Bleep.]
Don't do that! - These pigeons are ruthless in Italy.
Ugh! They will attack you, and they will bite your ears off.
[Flutters.]
- What the hell, dude! - What is wrong with you? - Stop.
- I feel like they just don't like you and they just wanna eat your food.
Who flies that close? - I think it's here.
Right here? This way.
Is it in here? - Hi.
- Hi.
- Speak English? - Eh, sorry, sir.
- Ended up going to the gym without the girls.
We lost them.
We got there, no problem.
- [Speaking italian.]
- Luigi.
- Pauly d.
- Luigi, the owner of the gym, he's a cool old Italian guy.
Just like one of my uncles or something back home.
[Speaking Italian.]
- Dude, what he got Ronnie doing? - Luigi is, like, the guido Mr.
miyagi.
He's this old guy that doesn't look like he ever worked out in his life- I think he was smoking outside at one point- yet, he kinda knows what he's talking about.
Wax on, wax off type of [Bleep.]
.
Italian style.
High, high, high, high.
[Laughing.]
- [Laughing.]
- I want to eat somewhere.
You guys want to? - Dirtball isn't even the word right now.
- Yo, you guys took that one turn and that was it.
I'm working out.
- Snooks, you run up and down the stairs.
- I am.
- You strut your stuff! - Such an ass[Bleep.]
.
- You strut it, Snooki.
- [Bleep.]
[Bleep.]
If I don't work out, like, once a day, I get into this mood.
- [Laughing.]
- Jerk.
Where I wanna kill somebody.
If you say something wrong to me, I will [Bleep.]
You up.
- Look at this girl.
- [Indistinct.]
That's the pelvic thrust.
Nobody bother me, please.
- So Snooki is, like, all about the gym.
And these little Snooki work-outs I've never seen before.
I got a good seat over here.
I don't know where Snooki got these work-outs from.
It looks like she's having sex with herself, I don't know.
[Chuckles.]
Oh, my God! - [Laughing.]
- Ew! - Dee, are you goin', like, full-blown tonight? Or you doing, like, cas? Think I'm gonna do full-blown.
I'm so excited to go out tonight.
I just wanna dance my ass off.
I'm gonna do the Jersey turnpike all over the place, and I wanna make out with people.
[Electrical buzz.]
- No! It's working? - Dude, if my [Bleep.]
Thing broke, I'll be so pissed right now.
[Exasperated sigh.]
There's no [Bleep.]
Outlets in this place.
I don't understand it.
Do Italians not believe in electricity? [Electrical buzz.]
Is one sucks! - My straightener's not going on.
- So you probably blew it.
- This is annoying.
- I know this is an old city, but come on, we need more outlets.
Works out here.
- It does? That's good.
- I can't do my hair in the kitchen.
We have no choice.
- Four girls with weave in their hair, doing it by the counter and fridge.
Talk about disgusting.
- I've never been so excited for a straightener.
- I am too.
- I'm gonna give it to you.
I'm getting ready, I'm straightening my freakin' hair Oh, why is it smoking? - Smoking? - What the hell? - Is it smoking? - Oh, God.
- It's really hot.
I put mine on, like, really hot.
- Sammi's straightener starts sizzling like mine was, and I'm like, whatever, just one more piece.
Like, waiting for my hair to go on fire.
[Sizzling.]
Oh, my God, no.
Burns? This is like, it really, like, took off my hair.
- [Gasps.]
- My hair came off of my head and onto this freakin' iron.
Like, it really just burnt off my hair.
- Yo, is-is-nobody is out there, outside, right? I'm gonna tell you something.
Nobody knows about this.
And you can't tell it to anybody, you know what I mean? Okay, me and Me and Snooki WeKinda hooked up.
Like, two- like, two, three months ago.
- Like, what the [Bleep.]
Is going on? She had the boyfriend.
We spoke about it And she was like She was like, "yeah, there was something there.
" - You don't want that anymore though, dog.
- Me and Snooki hooked up in Jersey.
We were drunk one night in L.
A.
and we sorta had sex.
[Chuckles.]
But the third or fourth time that we hooked up was recent.
And that's when she had the boyfriend.
And that's when supposedly it was serious.
I'll be honest, kinda just seeing her the last day or two, I'm not gonna lie, I kinda like I think I'm starting to like her a little bit.
- I'm like, mind-boggled, because I have a girl that calls her boyfriend when she wakes up, calls her boyfriend before she goes out, calls her boyfriend after she gets home.
But she's gonna hook up with you? She's gonna [Bleep.]
Up that situation for this situation? I'm a little iffy about that.
No, you can't say nothing.
But, you know, we're really tight right now.
And if you say something, you're gonna [Bleep.]
Up a lot of [Bleep.]
.
- Give me a hug.
Give me a hug.
I don't know what the [Bleep.]
This guy is doing.
Oh, my God.
- So we're gonna go to this club, otel.
Vinny got the inside scoop.
It's pretty dope, brother.
Wait, so where is it? - We'll go up - Left.
- Left, and then we'll hit it.
- [Speaking Italian.]
[Speaking italian.]
Yeah, buddy.
I'm super excited, my first night out in Italy, and I'm going to the club.
I cannot wait to get there.
- Ugh! Pauly? - Yes.
- Please give me, like, - Do your thing, girl.
- Vinny! - What? - Are you gonna call a cab? - You calling a cab? - I'll try.
- [Speaking italian.]
- It's "el taxi", idiot.
- [Speaking italian.]
- [Speaking Italian.]
- [Speaking italian.]
- When you speak Italian to me, you gotta do it slow for me to understand.
- Zero, zero, zero, zero.
- And they talk really fast.
- We need two, Vinny.
- No-uh[Speaking Italian.]
- And we got eight people.
- [Speaking Italian.]
- [Chuckles.]
Sounds funny.
- Yo, cab's comin' in 20 minutes.
- Oh, man! - Should I wear, like, this? It is the first night out in Italy.
I'm trying to find the hottest outfit.
And I am so excited, I can't wait to see what the discotheques look like.
- when I go out, out, out I'm going in, in, in - padres, you better be lockin' up your bambinis, 'cause the situation's lookin' f.
T.
D.
Tonight, and this is the first night out, and you better believe it's gonna be a good night.
[Sighs.]
- Nine minutes! - Shh! Freaking me out.
- What do you think? - Whoa! - You like it? - Can see your vagina.
- Holy tayta! - Yeah, it's that bra.
- Whoa.
- Should I put on a normal bra? - Hell no.
- Or is this good? Work it, girl.
If I had those I would work with them too.
If deena's boobies could talk, they would say, "I'm a good time, I'm a blast in a bra.
" They look fake, right? It's fun.
- They look like fun bags.
- Oh, yeah! - Deena does have some cute attributes.
She got a fat ass, she got boobs But at the same time, like, she's just one of the guys.
[Speaking Italian.]
- [Speaking italian.]
That's all you gotta say.
Here is qui.
- Taxi arrivati, they have arrived.
- That means "they have arrived" but you don't say that.
You don't go, "cabs have arrived.
So in America, pauly's like, "cabs are here!" In Italy, Paul would be like, [Speaking Italian.]
[Speaking Italian.]
[Speaking Italian.]
- Ready, let's go, let's go.
[Speaking Italian.]
- We're going out to the club for the first time in Italy.
We look hot.
- I'm, like, really suited for these clubs, so I can't wait to just get in there and kick some [Bleep.]
.
Whoo! Fun! [Club music.]
- Look at that! - I know! I am in love with this place.
The lights are going, the music's, like, amazing.
She's hot.
Whoa! - This is better than d'jais in belmar.
And d'jais is my best place.
Just saying.
- sexin' on the dance floor gettin' hot, hot, sexin' on the dance floor - trying to communicate with these Italian men, it's gonna be a lot of hand motions, and a lot of shaking the butt.
one, two, three, four sexing on the dance floor I don't know what you're telling me to hey! The club is bumpin'.
I actually looked to my left, and there's actually a cute girl there and I just waved her over, like, "come with me.
Come with the situation.
" Speak any English? - Um No, no, no.
She didn't speak a lick of English, and I had to go back and forth to pretty much Vinny to introduce and see if these girls wanted to hang out with us.
- she's movin' like you're still at the club what about her? - I am the ambassador to my roommates.
I'm the only one that speaks Italian, so all the guys in the house gotta come to me when they wanna say something to a girl, or know what a girl is sayin' back to them.
What do you want me to tell her? So I'm pretty much a necessity.
Maybe they'll get me free drinks for that.
- You like, you like? - you're the girl - ciao.
- I've been lookin' for all night - Vinny's the only way that the guys can get game to the girls in Italy.
Good luck.
Cheers to Italy! I love Italy! I'm enjoying myself.
I'm actually, like, happy for once.
I'm not tryin' to be miserable.
How many shots? No more tears for Sammi "sweetheart.
" - Italy! Whoo! - Italy, I feel like I'm coming into my own a little bit.
Like, you know, I'm just, I wanna have a good time.
Whether I'm dancin' with jenni or Snooki, whether I'm dancin with deena, whether I'm dancin' with pauly.
Like, I just wanna dance.
- I love having single Ronnie around because he's a happier person.
We're gonna be, like, a constant, like, positive manly brotherhood going on.
So that'll keep Ronnie away from the dark side.
[Loud club music.]
- Give me a hug, give me a hug.
- Oh! - Love you, baby.
Love you too, Mike.
- You just think Mike is [Bleep.]
Outta left [Bleep.]
Field.
- Oh, my God.
- Mike needs to know, like, stop, leave Nicole alone.
She does have a boyfriend.
For real, come here.
- I don't know what the [Bleep.]
This guy's doing.
- Oh, my God.
- Look at.
I know Mike would hook-up with Snooki, but I don't know if Snooki would hook up with Mike.
Hopefully not.
I kinda feel like I don't want Mike to do that to snook.
Like, she's happy with the kid.
Let her be happy.
Like, don't [Bleep.]
It up.
[Speaking Italian.]
What's he doing? What's he doing? What - let's just break into it.
- What's he doing? - I don't know.
- Love you, baby.
- Love you too, Mike.
For reals, come here.
[Speaking Italian.]
She's like, no.
I'm at the club, and I'm having a few drinks right now, and I turn around, and I see Mike, and I'm like, "oh, my God," and I go like this And I'm like - That behavior.
- What? - Roger's coming with gianni.
- Gianni, yeah.
So watch it, or you get your [Bleep.]
Ass busted.
Hey! - I wanna dance with you night and day yo, I promise you, I promise you, babe come on, baby, let's get buck wild I'll do anything to make you smile do you understand what I'm saying - say it in Italian.
- [Speaking Italian.]
[Chatter overlaps.]
- My game plan is flirt with pauly.
And you know, like, if it goes somewhere else it goes somewhere else.
- What do you want me to do? - Nothing.
Then tell me.
Right now? - Deena definitely has a crush on pauly.
All: [Screaming cheers.]
What the hell? Deena can die happy now.
- Whoo! - Vinny's pissed.
[Screams.]
- What the [Bleep.]
Has this house become? I knew it was a whorehouse, but I didn't know what to expect out here in Italy.
[Laughing.]
[Screams.]
Yeah! Yeah! - I love Italy! - Whoo! - Fist pump, like this.
Oh, oh! Get it, go, go! We're in Italy.
Ciao, good, how are you? Like, I'm dancing, I'm meeting people.
- Holy [bleep.]
.
- It's a beautiful place, beautiful women.
- Ready? Go.
- You know, this is-- this is unbelievable.
- ? this girl's a freak ? - I'm gonna [bleep.]
fist pump till my [bleep.]
arm falls off.
- Nicole, you better not kill us.
- Slow down.
- Oh, my god! [crunching thud.]
- Two cops went out on a stretcher.
- [speaking italian.]
- And now she's in an italian jail.
- I'm sorry.
- Yo, I got this new move to show off.
- Ooh, and you're gonna get all the girls.
- Stop acting like a [bleep.]
ass[bleep.]
! - I will [bleep.]
knock that bitch out.
- There's definitely something between me and you.
- I do have a soft spot for mike.
But I love my boyfriend.
Gianni, I'm not kidding, stop.
I don't deserve this right now.
- What happened? - Mike is being a [bleep.]
douche bag.
Mike is a [bleep.]
[bleep.]
[bleep.]
! [bleep.]
[bleep.]
[bleep.]
[bleep.]
! - I didn't do [bleep.]
.
- [bleep.]
you! Mike, I'm not kidding! [glass shatters.]
- This house went from, like, this To like, bep, in, like, two seconds.
- I don't give a [bleep.]
about relationships! I have to stay away all the [bleep.]
time! - I have a lot of anger built up to mike, And I think it's time for me to do what I have to do.
- Like that! - Stop it.
- Let's do it! - Stop! - Let's do it! [heart rate monitor beeps slowly.]
[emergency sirens blare.]
- [bad italian accent.]
yo, she wants my sausage, I gotta give it to her.
I'm gonna give it to her.
- It takes something really bad happening in this house To realize how much we love each other.
All: Firenze! - Wait, is "firenze" florence? - Yeah.
- Okay.