Jersey Shore s04e10 Episode Script
Damage is Done
Breaks my heart.
My heart's broken right now.
[Sobbing.]
My girlfriend was dancing like a [Bleep.]
pig in front of me.
What do you want me to do? A pig? I need a break from you.
I don't want to talk to you.
Excuse me? I'm sorry.
I don't want to talk to you.
I would take care of you like you've never been taken care of before.
I love you.
I do.
I'm laying in bed.
Snooki comes in.
So what am I gonna do? [Bleep.]
Throw her out of the room? No.
I see the blanket moving up and down, Snooki's head popping up for air.
We all know what's going down.
[Get crazy by lmfao.]
Dj Pauly Delvecchio! I'm going to Jersey Shore, bitch! All right, we got a situation.
I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.
[Laughing.]
After I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off.
Go Vinny! Go Vinny! You like the boobs? ⪠If you wanna have fun and do something crazy ⪠What the [Bleep.]
just happened? What did you just do? Let's go do something.
[Groans.]
You never get me up at 7:00 in the morning.
I'm up! I'm freaking up.
And you know why I'm up? Because I [Bleep.]
slept in Vinny's bed last night.
I'm up.
If I get a breakfast place, you want to go? I need a girlfriend to talk to right now.
It's 7:30 in the morning, but I see Nicole.
Like, where are you coming from, Nicole? Like, did you pass out in the living room? Went to [Bleep.]
Vinny's bed.
[Chuckles.]
Jenni, at this point, I don't give a [Bleep.]
.
I don't care if me and Jionni are done, because he sucks [Bleep.]
.
Honestly, I would never cheat on Jionni, but I said, "we're done," on the phone, and that's why I just went crazy.
It was just it was a rebound reaction.
How drunk were you? Not that drunk.
'Cause I really have to talk to you anyways, 'cause I'm never [Bleep.]
talking to that kid.
Mike? Yeah.
For what went down and how I defended you last night.
Last night, Mike tells us in the living room when Nicole wasn't around that he got a [Bleep.]
from her.
I looked Mike dead in the face and I go, "I am telling Nicole.
" I was like, "she will never choose you over Jionni.
" Get that through your head.
" He goes, "well, she [Bleep.]
sure as hell" chose me over Jionni when she was [Bleep.]
my [Bleep.]
.
" Crazy pants! You're crazy pants! I didn't do anything.
Yeah, I watched [Bleep.]
ryder get with his friend.
And that was hot.
Whatever.
But I didn't [Bleep.]
get with Mike.
And Mike was so upset that I wouldn't hook up with him, 'cause he's not used to rejection.
I want to hairspray him in the face right now.
Why is there so much screaming? What the [Bleep.]
going on? Get out of my room.
Me get out of your room? Yeah.
For real? Everyone's telling me what the [Bleep.]
You said about me last night.
We're not friends.
Maybe you should talk to me first.
We're not friends.
It's all good, Snooks.
You're so mean.
'Cause I'm tired of being Mr.
nice.
All right, talk to me first before you talk to 16 other people, all right? I don't want to.
Talk to me first! I'm always nice.
Don't [Bleep.]
yell at me like that.
We're not friends.
Fine, Snooks.
We're not friends then, Snooks.
Fine, so get out of my room.
All day, baby! Fine.
Wow.
I mean, "get the [Bleep.]
out"? Like, she's like the fugitive right now and I'm harboring information.
You know what I'm saying? Don't talk [Bleep.]
and you won't feel like a [Bleep.]
douchebag.
That's all I have to say.
I just need my best friend.
So I'm like, "Jenni, we're going to get Mimosas.
" I hate you.
Are you ready Nicole? Yeah, let's go.
I'm so tired right now, you crazy whore.
They better have Mimosas at this breakfast, 'cause if they don't, I'm going back to Jersey.
I have to teach her a lesson.
I have to teach Nicole a lesson and the truth has to come out.
So let me just call my boy unit just to refresh my memory on what really happened that night between me and Nicole, my friend unit and ryder.
Yo.
Yo, what up? What up, homey? Yo, you remember when you were banging Snooki's friend ryder? Ryder, yeah, yeah.
Somehow that story got out, you know, throughout the day and there's just been mad arguments.
Really? I know you knew 100% about it, 'cause you were banging ryder, and then Snooki got a little horny, so she got on her [Bleep.]
real quick.
Really, you put that you put her on blast on that? I did, I definitely did put her on blast.
But you know what I mean.
Snooki turned from 4'9" to about 2'9".
You know what I'm saying? And then after that, she said, "don't ever, ever, ever, ever say anything.
" I said, "pinky swear.
" Thank you for waking up.
I love you.
I just need you in my life.
That's why I jumped out of bed.
Especially, like, right now.
You know what I mean? We'll spend the day together outside.
Do you agree Jionni sucks? Mm hmm.
Jionni sucks.
[Speaking Italian.]
Oh, that's both for me.
Okay.
Can I have a sip of one? Now I'm gonna look like the bad person you're not.
He pushed you so far.
You're a good girlfriend.
Well, not anymore.
I just wanted to cuddle.
I love him, like, as a best friend.
Did you have sex? No.
I don't remember having sex.
I'm figuring, you know, he [Bleep.]
on me.
I love Mimosas.
I love sleep.
Gym, tan, and [Bleep.]
drama today.
G.
T.
D.
Snooki, Jionni.
Pretty much my master plan is: Gym, tan, who's the rat? Oh, man, I'm just getting tired of people just not being nice to me, dog.
Snooki, this morning, she's like, "don't talk to me again.
[Bleep.]
Dude.
" I was like I'm like, "yo.
" I'm like, "me and you are close.
Like, don't do this.
" I want to show people in this house that you can't believe everything you hear.
So I'm going to tell the roommates a little lie and I'm gonna see who rats themselves out.
She's making me look like a liar, dude.
So I'm like, "you know what, man?" I gave my boy unit Jionni's number.
Said, "call him up and tell him what happened.
" But in reality, all I did is call unit and we talked about the story together and laughed about it.
Gym, tan, [Bleep.]
Drama today.
G.
T.
D.
Shh Uh oh.
So we'll see what happens now.
Sam had accidentally walked by when I had told Ron.
So now I've planted the seeds, you know? It's gym, tan, who's the rat? Deena.
What happened? I could have sworn I just hear Mike say he's gonna have "the unit" call Jionni.
Why would he [Bleep.]
do that? I don't know if I heard that right.
That's why I don't know if I should say anything.
You know, like, it's not his business to get involved in.
What an idiot.
He couldn't have said that.
Like, that's [Bleep.]
up.
I've been up since, like, Me too.
I woke up to people talking [Bleep.]
about me this morning.
Jenni and Snooks.
That's not cool.
So just to even up the odds, I call my boy unit, like, two hours ago.
I'm like, "dog, they're making me look out to be a liar.
" He's like, "yo, I'll call Jionni right now.
" What's his number?" I got Jionni's number out the phone book and gave it.
Really, Mike, though? I'm not gonna be made to look like a liar.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna flip the [Bleep.]
out.
You know I'm telling her though.
Yeah, I got to tell her that.
You guys can tell her.
That's [Bleep.]
up.
That's [Bleep.]
up.
Don't make me look to be a liar.
Yeah, but that's your friend.
So why is she telling me, "I hate you, don't ever talk to me again"? You need to talk to her, but you should talk to her before you go to that level of calling your friend to call her boyfriend.
That's [Bleep.]
up.
That's a [Bleep.]
move.
That's [Bleep.]
up.
I'm not the one that cheated on my boyfriend.
She did.
Oh, my God, I'm out.
I can't deal with this [Bleep.]
.
If you love your boyfriend, you wouldn't have [Bleep.]
me.
I don't know what's going on in Mike's twisted head.
He had a really good connection with Nicole.
They were friends.
I'm minding my business.
I don't give a [Bleep.]
.
I feel like that's [Bleep.]
up.
Friends don't do that.
People who love one another don't do that.
[Chuckles.]
Mike called the unit to call Jionni and tell him everything that [Bleep.]
happened with you and Mike.
[Bleep.]
You, Mike! [Shouting, glass breaks.]
Nicole! Did you hook up with him? Yes.
Tell Vinny, when I see him, he's dead.
He's done.
No, please don't.
Bongiorno.
Bongiorno.
Bongiorno! You can't even look at me, can you? I'm stopping traffic.
[Shrieks.]
When people function in the morning this early, this isn't real life to me.
It's like it's a video game.
Oh, my God, I just saw a nun! Ciao! I've never seen a nun before.
She is scared [Bleep.]
of you.
Oh, my God.
Is that real? Yeah.
I'll buy it off you.
This is very old wine.
Awesome.
How are we gonna get this home? Grazie.
Jenni, look what I got.
A 1981.
Look at.
Wow! So Nicole buys this, like, And we're walking down the [Bleep.]
Cobblestone Street.
Nicole, you're gonna rip it.
[Glass shattering.]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
My God, no! All of a sudden, this bottle of wine smashes everywhere.
[Laughs.]
Oh, my God! No! No, no! [Speaking Italian.]
This [Bleep.]
sucks balls! [Hip hop music.]
[Dial tone.]
Hello? Ma.
Hi.
Hi.
Guess where I'm going Tuesday.
So where you going, Vin? Sicily.
Me and, uh, the boys are going.
We are going to Sicily.
Just the boys.
We're taking a trip to visit my family and see my mother's town where she was born.
This is what I've wanted to do my whole life.
Pauly wants to know if there are any young girl cousins for him.
[Laughter.]
Hello? Hello? Are there? Ma? [Beeping.]
[Groans.]
Oh, oh, oh! You guys want to get some food? Today is laundry.
I don't feel good.
As a joke, I go up to Ronnie I go "Ronnie, man, I called my boy unit up" "Gave him Jionni's number And told him to call Jionni and tell him the deal.
" No, you didn't.
I didn't.
But I told Ronnie I did.
Now, before Ronnie even left the house, he had already told Sam.
[Laughs.]
But I really didn't call Jionni.
That's brilliant.
[Laughs.]
So now it's like, "gym, tan, who's the rat?" I don't understand the drama, whatever Mike's intentions were, but I'm just sitting here with my popcorn in my hand waiting for the [Bleep.]
to pop off.
It's gonna be a [Bleep.]
show tonight.
No, it's gonna be bad.
Oh, my God.
Work is over already? Oh, my God.
Nicole.
I am so upset about what Mike said this morning that I'm like, Nicole needs to know this.
That was the lowest [Bleep.]
I've ever heard.
I've gotta tell you what the [Bleep.]
just happened.
They called the unit to call Jionni and tell him everything that [Bleep.]
happened with you and Mike.
Stop getting in my business, you mother[Bleep.]
! Stop [Bleep.]
getting in my business, you [Bleep.]
! [Bleep.]
Stop! Stop! I'm not even kidding, Mike! [Bleep.]
You! [Bleep.]
You! You [Bleep.]
bitch.
[Overlapping arguing.]
[Bleep.]
You.
[Bleep.]
You, Mike.
Mike, I'm not kidding! Nicole! [Bleep.]
.
Nicole.
Don't sit here and feed people lies.
You're feeding everybody in this house lies.
Maybe Nicole isn't being honest.
Maybe Mike's telling the truth about your story.
[Bleep.]
You.
[Bleep.]
You.
You [Bleep.]
bitch.
[Overlapping arguing.]
Mike, I'm not kidding! Whoa.
Nicole, Nicole.
[Bleep.]
You.
[Bleep.]
You, Mike.
[Bleep.]
You.
You're not [Bleep.]
part of this house.
Mike's dodging everything like the matrix.
She's throwin' wine bottles at him, he's ducking 'em.
He's moving all around, he's running from her.
[Bleep.]
You.
[Bleep.]
You.
What? What the [Bleep.]
? Why the [Bleep.]
would you tell unit to [Bleep.]
call Jionni? I didn't do nothin'.
Why? What is your problem? You wanna know what I did? Say what you did, Mike.
Sam overheard me say, do not do anything, I'll will you listen to me for a I don't like you.
I don't [Bleep.]
like you.
I don't [Bleep.]
like you.
I don't [Bleep.]
like you.
Nicole.
I don't [Bleep.]
like you.
Nicole, wait.
I hate you.
Nicole, just Hate you.
He didn't do anything.
No.
He didn't do it.
He's it was a joke.
I didn't do it! It was a joke.
He didn't do it.
It was a joke! That's not a funny [Bleep.]
joke.
Why would you [Bleep.]
say that, then? It was a joke! That's not funny! Nothin' happened.
Well, you need to ask somebody.
Don't listen from the Peanut Gallery.
Ask people first! 'Cause I didn't make no [Bleep.]
phone call.
Then why would you go around sayin' that? Why are you [Bleep.]
talkin' [Bleep.]
? Stay out of it! Why would you say that? Let her ask first! Why would you say that to me? Let her ask first! Don't look at me, Nicole! He [Bleep.]
said it! No phone call was ever made! He said it! I was foolin' around because, guess what.
You talked to everybody first, and it backfired on you.
He's a [Bleep.]
.
Mike is trying to prove that me and Deena are rats.
Like, we mean rats.
Like, what's coming out of your mouth right now is straight bull[Bleep.]
.
I didn't do nothin'! Nothing.
All I did was tell three people a little lie because I wanted to see who would rat who out.
And guess what happened.
Sam's the one who ratted herself out.
She immediately ran in the room and ratted.
I didn't do anything, snooki.
Go away! Leave me alone.
[Sniffs.]
I didn't do anything to you, okay? Get the [Bleep.]
away from me! I can't just go! Get away from me.
[Bleep.]
Smile on your face You're a [Bleep.]
bitch.
Smile on my face How 'bout I make that phone call right now? Get away from me! How 'bout I make a real phone call? Get away from me! How 'bout I make the real Get away! [Sobs.]
She crying? She's crying.
She's crying over it because she knows it's true.
That I didn't say anything.
Yeah, but by you making her believe it, it's the same effect.
I understand that, but didn't need to prove you said it.
All she had to do was, "Mike, did you make a call?" "Nope, didn't.
" And it would've been solved.
Instead, she just went flippin' out, throwing [Bleep.]
, fightin', and that's exactly how it happens in this house every single time.
It's just messed up 'cause she really cares about the kid, you know? I know.
It looked like she cared last night.
[Laughter.]
Snooki came into Vinny's bed, wantin' to smush with Vinny.
She told me she was single last night.
So I was like, "all right.
" That's what's up.
I've roomed with Vinny before.
I know what it sounds like when he gets in.
I know what goes down.
And, um, they got it in.
[Chuckles.]
This is definitely my most well thought out evil plan.
But the prank that I pulled was a necessary evil.
Over this.
[Whining.]
Jenni! Yeah? Come here.
[Sobs.]
What's wrong? This is not fun anymore.
Honestly, I gave Mike a couple chances, I feel, here.
But, at this point, when you [Bleep.]
with me like that, it's done.
And as of right now, I am done with Mike.
Over it.
Done.
Sick [Bleep.]
kid.
I've been tellin' you that since day [Bleep.]
one.
He's a sick [Bleep.]
kid.
Been sayin' that since day one, and nobody wanted to listen to me.
Everyone thought I was the crazy one.
I never liked the kid, Ron.
He's a sick [Bleep.]
individual.
I don't really know what happened with Mike and Nicole.
Who cares if they [Bleep.]
hooked up? If you're friends, you don't [Bleep.]
Pull [Bleep.]
like you [Bleep.]
pulled.
Ridiculous.
This was a this was a test, a broadcast system test, you would think he would learn to stop after a while because he got punched in the face, he ran into a wall, and now he's getting champagne bottles thrown at his head.
How many wake up calls does Mike need? Doesn't matter.
That is huge.
The reason why I did that is because I wanted to be done with him.
Well, you are now.
He is gone, so accept it, and move on.
Can we talk about the other night? I wanna know what happened with me and Vinny.
Like, did we have sex and stuff? Did we? All right, let's go outside.
⪠We're going to Sicily ⪠today time to wake up.
Yeah, buddy.
Yeah, buddy.
Nicole.
Get up! Here.
This might make you feel better.
We're gonna go to a wine thing, just us girls.
After all the drama that just happened with Mike, this time couldn't have came more perfect.
The boys are going to Sicily so we decided we're going to Tuscany on a wine tour.
We're gonna drink some wine, get some drunk.
It's gonna be fun.
Good morning, boo.
Shh.
You shh! You're not ruining this [Bleep.]
trip for us.
You have to go.
You're [ .]
Going.
I'll pull the blanket right off.
You went to bed before me last night and I've been up for 2 1/2 hours.
Shut the [Bleep.]
up, Jenni.
We leave in 20 minutes.
I'm not gonna shut up.
I don't give you attitude like this when I Shut up! Have to get you up or I get up for you.
I understand.
Just shut up.
Please, just stop talking to me.
Don't wanna go to this stupid thing.
Well, good morning to you.
We look so sophisticated and classy.
Right? Ew! Nicole.
What? Did you fart? Yeah.
Ugh! Oh, my God, Nicole.
And there goes our class.
[Chuckles.]
You're in the sixth grade now? [Giggling.]
I'm so excited to meet my family for the first time.
I'm proud to be sicilian, and this is what life is all about tracing your roots and going to the homeland.
Yep.
Sicily! [Bleep.]
Sicily.
Oh, my gosh.
Holy [Bleep.]
.
Boys are pumped.
Sicily, here we come.
I hope your family likes me.
Oh, they will, baby.
Don't worry about it.
You might be moving too fast for me.
[Laughter.]
Yeah, buddy.
Look at these mountains, dude.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I'm seeing Sicily for the first time.
It looks like Jurassic Park.
There's volcanoes, and trees, and mist like, king Kong is in the bushes and it's really nothing like the Italy we've seen so far.
You know, guys, we are doing something crazy right now.
I don't know if you realize it.
Sicily.
No one ventures out this far, like, for real.
This is definitely some Mafia type [Bleep.]
.
I don't know if you've ever seen godfather ii, but [Bleep.]
it's in Sicily.
We pull up, and there's a ranch.
I'm like Four guidos in the woods? Eh I don't know about that.
Right now I am in the motherland.
My mother's land, literally.
I'm about to meet my family for the first time in Sicily.
This is where I come from, so I'm excited to be here.
Hello.
[Overlapping chatter.]
Mariucca? Yes.
Ciao.
[Speaking Italian.]
Hi.
Ciao, ciao.
[Both speaking Italian.]
[Speaking Italian.]
This was like the Guadagnino family train.
It was just one family member after another after another whose son's uncle's brother's nephew's cousin's brother's uncle's son.
I'm just like Ciao? [All speaking Italian.]
Eh, a little bit.
[Laughs.]
This is sick.
This is like makeout point right here.
All right, let's go.
No, I'm just kidding.
[Laughs.]
Oh, my God.
We have to take a picture over there.
This is very Italy.
We show up at our first winery.
It was very rustic and old and kind of had, like, a creepy feel to it.
This is one of the oldest castles in Italy still inhabited.
What we do today with you is wine tasting and tours of the 900 year old wine cellar.
Really? Is this haunted? Not anymore.
Oh Not anymore? Okay.
Follow me.
Ew, this is creepy.
No, I don't like this.
Don't go off by yourself, stupid.
Scream if you get lost.
[Whines.]
We're walking down in the cellars and the basement and stuff like that.
And it's frickin' scary! Like, this is haunted.
Boo! [Screams.]
[Laughs.]
[Sighs.]
It really was haunted.
I could feel.
I got the vibe.
You want to go upstairs and taste some wine? Yeah! Whoo hoo! Yeah.
Shh.
I'll bring this back to Deena.
[Chuckles.]
[Speaking Italian.]
Michael.
[Speaking Italian.]
If you want to be Italian, you have to know how to play soccer.
I play soccer.
Goalkeeper over here.
[Laughter.]
Come on.
[All cheer.]
Nice shot! All: Oh! No, no, no.
[Bell tolls.]
Nice job.
That was the money shot.
Perfect.
[Laughter.]
Look, she's got pictures of my family at home.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
I want to share this one.
There's me when I was like [Bleep.]
13.
Oh, let me see that.
Oh, no way! [Laughter.]
Oh, we gotta see that one.
All: Aah! My awkward phase! [Laughter.]
That was my awkward phase.
Hey, baby.
[Laughter.]
five of you at any time.
[Laughs.]
This is the best day of my life on the camera.
We'll have the wine tasting with the food.
Cool.
The first one I'm gonna serve is [Speaking Italian.]
That's the name of the winery.
Okay, we're gonna start off with a 2009.
This is the villa wine right now.
You can see this wall is that was, uh, bombed during world war ii.
Cool.
History.
Boo! Like, you know? Like, I'm not into geography anymore.
Give me [Bleep.]
wine.
This is the ultimate wine to serve with a steak.
Color, what they call [Belches.]
Excuse me.
When you grill, it kind of makes it a little bit bitter.
I just want her to shut up so I can talk about Jionni right now.
Like, I'm going through issues.
I don't give a [Bleep.]
about how wine's made.
Now just do your own thing.
Like you're just at a regular meal.
You don't want us to do our own thing.
We'd embarrass you.
Me and Deena would be on the tables.
[Laughs.]
Can we talk for a second and make me happy? Yeah.
What's wrong? Jionni Yeah.
What am I gonna do? That thing with freaking Vinny could have ruined it.
Yeah, why'd you do that? 'Cause he pissed me off to the point where at this moment, I know you want someone, but you doing that with Vinny no offense, like, the damage is done.
I want to, like, put it out there.
I want to be with him though.
Honestly, I really think at this point you should move on.
I do too.
If you want my real opinion, that kid won't forgive you for it.
So you gotta man up to your mistake and realize that it's over because of that.
I love him.
No, you don't.
If you loved him, you wouldn't have done that with Vinny.
Jenni just told Nicole the truth.
You know when somebody tells you you're doing something wrong, and you don't wanna like hear it? That's what I feel like Nicole is doing.
Honestly, though, I'm calling you out on you being wrong right now for the simple fact that you laid up in his bed I told you why I did that the only reason why It doesn't matter.
That is not an excuse.
'Cause I wanted to be done with him.
You are now.
You can't change it.
The damage is done.
She's being the worst best friend this whole time.
The worst.
And on top of what Mike's saying so that's when I was like, "bye.
" This kid is going to have enough.
I'm sorry.
I would never do that.
I would never cheat on him.
You did, though.
That kid will have enough, and he is gone.
So accept it and move on.
You're [Bleep.]
airing your best friend out right now.
What the [Bleep.]
? Do you want my opinion, or you want the truth? Jenni's being such a bitch to me, I can't even take her.
He [Bleep.]
me, and that's it.
I would never do that.
I would never cheat on him.
You did, though.
I want to be with this kid.
He is not for you.
Nicole stops the wine tasting and wants our opinion on her and Jionni.
If you loved him, you wouldn't have done that with Vinny.
We didn't have sex, okay? I mean, I was right there, so I'm thinking in my head, like, she did sex, but I'm not gonna put her on blast like that.
At the time, honestly, I was, like, I don't give a [Bleep.]
.
Me and Jionni are done.
I'm done with this kid.
He's making me feel miserable.
Now now that I think about it, I [Bleep.]
love him, and I can't believe I did that.
He's gonna be so beyond humiliated from the simple fact that his girlfriend, after two hours of getting in a fight, hooked up with Vinny.
He'll never accept it.
He'll never go on that and I don't want to be that person to say it to you, but as a best friend, move on.
My best friend would never do that to me and just say [Bleep.]
.
Jenni's really not there for me like I thought she was.
[Men speaking Italian.]
Getting to know my family is like an experience.
It's a choreography.
It's like a dance.
[Overlapping chatter.]
It's like course after course after course.
So much food, just like back home.
They literally keep piling it on.
[Speaking italian.]
My stomach's gonna explode.
Guys, leave some room because it's not over yet.
We just started.
[Laughter.]
Salud.
Salud.
My family, thank you for letting me and my friends come here.
My whole life, I dreamed about coming here and having this meal.
And right now it's coming true.
So it's amazing, and thank you, and I love all of you.
Beautiful.
[All make various toasts.]
You're welcome here anytime you want.
All right, thank you.
[Laughter.]
[Screams.]
You okay? Oh, no, did we hurt his bike? Did we hurt his bike? I would say us girls definitely went through about, like, ten bottles of wine.
[Laughter.]
[Speaking Italian.]
Today was a good time.
It's not over yet.
I'm horny.
It smells like a fart.
Eww, who just ripped ass? [Laughter.]
Oh, my God.
Here you'll find four different types of wood.
And so this blend of oh, my God, I'm so tired.
Like, I can't even drink wine anymore, and he's talking about these wine barrels and wah wah wah.
And different [Chuckles.]
I think your your friend is sleeping.
Probably [Laughs.]
Too many bottles for I'm awake.
I'm awake.
We're shot.
We're drunk.
Everything that this guy's saying, we already learned.
So it's just basically, like, bring on the wine and cheese.
What kind did you get? I guess I'll take the strong one that I always fall for.
Maybe you shouldn't.
Me? Yeah.
Don't talk [Bleep.]
, 'cause I'll air it all out right now.
Snap out of it.
I'm fine.
I'm annoyed.
Don't be mad about the truth.
The whole Mike and Nicole drama comes up.
I see, like, maybe Jionni thinks, like, something else happened.
You act like we're not best friends.
We are, but don't sit here and cry and feed people lies.
You're feeding everybody in this house, besides me, lies.
Maybe Nicole isn't being honest.
Maybe Mike's telling the truth about their story.
If I am your best friend, why can't you have someone to tell you the truth? No, actually, you're not anymore.
'Cause none of my best friends would ever say that.
I would never do that to a best friend.
I'm not doing anything.
You're [Bleep.]
airing your best friend out right now.
What the [Bleep.]
are you talking about? You just said, "if you're gonna [Bleep.]
air me out" Exactly You're airing me out now.
Why would you make a stupid comment like that? I don't need this.
I need you.
I'm supposed to sugarcoat it? I am here for you.
Yeah, you're supposed to sugarcoat it to make me happy.
No, you that's why I asked you earlier, do you want my opinion, or do you want the truth? Jenni's being such a bitch to me, I can't even take her.
You're gonna hate me.
What? Remember when I told you what happened with Vinny? Yeah.
Something more happened.
I would never do that to a best friend.
Would you speak the truth, or would you sugarcoat it? We would [Bleep.]
we tell each other the truth all the time.
Thank you.
And that's exactly what I did right here, and she can't [Bleep.]
handle it.
Nicole, at this point, is making up lies to people so they can say it's gonna be all right.
Maybe it's not gonna be all right, Nicole.
And you know what? Man up, and fix it yourself.
If you want to share this type of information with me, you have to expect an opinion, and you got to expect when you're gonna do wrong or right.
That's Nicole, though.
I feel like Jenni like, I love her to death, and I would [Bleep.]
die for her.
I swear to God, I would die for her.
But she's just being a not a good friend to me.
This should be a great cab ride.
[Scoffs.]
Yeah.
Oh, God.
[Exhales deeply.]
Here's your glasses.
Oh, thank you.
I was looking for them.
Nicole, I've got a little bag for your to put all the stuff in.
This whole time is supposed to be fun wine night, like, and this is, like, the worst ride home.
Like, everybody's quiet, and it's just awkward.
And I just want to punch somebody in the face.
Like, this is not how it was supposed to be.
[Traditional Italian music.]
⪠[Speaking italian.]
Si.
I'm the second generation.
The third generation.
The fourth.
Everybody.
Every generation is together right now.
Even though I never met these people in my life, we're just blood, so it's just an instant connection.
This guy right here you see how much he's smiling? He makes us all smile.
And their family takes us in like family.
Just like the one back home, right? We love your family, kid.
I'm glad I did this.
Forever we'll remember this forever.
You know what I mean? For real.
I wonder what the girls are up to right now.
[Laughs.]
Me an Jenni are not on good terms right now.
If you want to keep your friendship, talk to her about it.
Nicole knows, at this point, that I am agitated.
We're covering up for her, and I am done taking on her attitude, and I'm over it.
Hey, you.
Never again, boo.
Mm mm.
Okay.
I love you.
Okay.
Me and Jenni like, when we fight, we fight.
And we will legit kill each other, but at the end of the day, we still love each other.
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
I'm sorry.
I hated you so much.
I'm sorry.
I did, too.
The thing is, I get so mad, 'cause I know you just feel guilty, but you're not doing anything to get rid of the guilt.
And I'm You're frustrated with how I'm acting, I feel.
I get it.
[Phone dialing.]
Oh, dad, please answer.
I'm gonna kill you.
[Line trilling.]
Hello? Dad? Yes, dear? I miss Jionni.
Okay? What the [Bleep.]
do I do? Will, I can tell you this He did change his Facebook to single.
He did? Yep.
Because that's what you said you wanted done.
Oh, my God! He changed his Facebook status to single.
Really? Yeah, that means it's official.
He's an idiot, girl.
[Crying.]
I [Bleep.]
[Bleep.]
Up.
Oh, I hate myself.
You didn't cause this.
He caused this.
Okay? Fine.
I will call you in a little bit.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Bye.
Bye.
So, you know, I just wanted to talk to Jionni and just say, "first of all, I'm [Bleep.]
at you" "for changing your Facebook status to single.
"Like, who does that, if you really want to be with me? And also, I have to tell you something really bad.
" [Line trilling.]
Hello? Hi.
Can I talk to you? No! Why do you want to talk to me? You broke up with me! You broke my [Bleep.]
heart! I said, "a break"! I didn't say I [Bleep.]
want to break up with you! And then my dad has to [Bleep.]
tell me that you put on Facebook you're single? Are you that excited to get [Bleep.]
? Really? Why would you do that? Yesterday on the phone you said to me, "I can't be with you anymore.
" "You treat me like [Bleep.]
.
You make me a different person.
" You why do you think I said I wanted a break with you? Because, obviously, you [Bleep.]
said something dumb to me.
Do you understand I love you? What? I [ .]
Love you, and I'm hurting without you.
All I do I wake up, I go to sleep, and I think about you.
What the [Bleep.]
am I gonna do? What, do you think I don't think about you? Honestly, I have to tell you something, and you're never gonna talk to me again.
What? What'd you do? Please don't hang up when I tell you this.
What did you do? After we got off the phone, I ended up in Vinny's bed.
We didn't have sex.
Please don't hang up.
Please don't hang up.
Oh, please don't hang up.
We didn't have sex.
Please You had sex, or you didn't have sex? We didn't have sex.
Please don't hang up.
We didn't have sex.
Did you hook up with him? Yes.
All right, I'll see you later.
No, please don't hang up.
Please! Bye.
Please don't do this to me.
Nah, we're done.
We're done.
No! No, Nicole! Tell Vinny when I see him, he's dead.
He's done! [Bleep.]
You! Please don't do this to me! Please! [Phone clicks, dial tone.]
[Sobbing.]
[Rooster crows.]
[Traditional Italian music.]
⪠Hit stop, [Bleep.]
.
[Laughter.]
It's time to go, this trip has come to an end.
We need to head back to firenze.
Okay, buddy.
Thank you.
I can't thank you enough.
That's all right.
Thank you.
I will remember the Sicily trip for the rest of my life.
I brought my family with me from Jersey, and I came to Sicily, traced my roots back.
And I will return.
[Upbeat rock music.]
⪠[Dialing phone.]
[Phone ringing.]
I just wanted to call you, 'cause you're on my mind First off, I wanna know right now, what did you do with Vinny? Babe, come on.
Me and Vinny, I feel tried to have sex but it just didn't work.
But I don't remember.
I wanna know right now what you've done with Vinny.
He [Bleep.]
me and that's it.
We break up and you go [Bleep.]
around with Vinny an hour later! I [Bleep.]
Up.
I [Bleep.]
Up.
Nicole, I've never been [Bleep.]
crushed this bad in my life.
You don't give a [Bleep.]
about me, Nicole.
Oh, you're such a [Bleep.]
lie.
You're all I think about.
I'm a [Bleep.]
idiot, I'm so [Bleep.]
stupid for doing that to you.
[Cries.]
I get I [Bleep.]
up! I'm sorry! Babe, I'm sorry.
Nicole, I listen, do you wanna be together? Yes! I wouldn't be talking to you right now, are you kidding me? Right.
I'll give you another chance.
[Sighs.]
Thank you.
Just don't [Bleep.]
me over.
I wont [Bleep.]
you over, I promise.
All right, I gotta go, okay? Okay, bye.
Bye.
[Screams.]
Sorry! I'm so happy that me and Jionni are together.
Feel good? Oh, my God, he's giving me a second chance.
Aww, thank [Bleep.]
Jesus Christ.
And I'm so happy that he's giving me a second chance.
Like, I love him.
I'm in love! Like, what the [Bleep.]
! I'm in love.
Hm! See? Ooh! Oh, my God, I can't wait to go run and hug and kiss Sami.
Shut the [Bleep.]
up.
Yo.
Hi, girls.
Hey! Mm, I miss you so much.
Yeah? Can we talk about the other night? So I know what to tell Jionni? What do you mean, what happened? I asked you if you were drunk.
You said no.
I wanna know what happened with me and Vinny 'cause I don't exactly know.
Like, did we have sex and stuff? Like, I have no idea.
What, you can't remember what you did? That's how drunk you were? I don't believe you.
I remember certain things that I don't wanna say, did we [Bleep.]
smush? Don't say [Bleep.]
.
I just wanna know what to tell him.
You wanna know every little detail? Mm hm.
All right, let's go outside.
It was like a glitch in the Matrix.
Like, everything is happening the way it's supposed to be, then all of a sudden, glitch in the Matrix.
Whoa, bang Snooki.
And then everything just continued the way it was happening before.
So you were in my bed.
You climbed into my bed.
Mm hm.
And then Whatever, we were just cuddling.
And then, like, you started, like, kissing my neck a little bit.
And then you just kept saying, like, "[Bleep.]
Me.
" [Laughter.]
Stop, stop.
You were [Bleep.]
horny.
Stop it! [Bleep.]
.
Vinny, you don't have to say that! Oh, my God! Why would you say that? [Laughs.]
Oh, my God.
Whatever.
I thought we were just, like, cuddling and My [Bleep.]
was cuddling with your [Bleep.]
, but I have to tell him.
Tell him.
Don't lie.
I really, honestly thought we didn't have sex.
Like, I blacked out a little bit.
What are you gonna do? Freaking out.
Just going somewhere.
And I told Jionni that we just [Bleep.]
popped.
Now I have to call him back and say, "well, you sittin' down? We actually really had sex.
" [Sighs.]
Oh, dear [Bleep.]
God.
Oh! [Phone rings.]
Hello? You're gonna hate me.
What? Remember what I told you what happened with Vinny? Yeah.
Something more happened.
What? Uh I don't even wanna say it.
Say what? Uh We had sex.
[Sighs.]
Sync and correted by APOLLO
My heart's broken right now.
[Sobbing.]
My girlfriend was dancing like a [Bleep.]
pig in front of me.
What do you want me to do? A pig? I need a break from you.
I don't want to talk to you.
Excuse me? I'm sorry.
I don't want to talk to you.
I would take care of you like you've never been taken care of before.
I love you.
I do.
I'm laying in bed.
Snooki comes in.
So what am I gonna do? [Bleep.]
Throw her out of the room? No.
I see the blanket moving up and down, Snooki's head popping up for air.
We all know what's going down.
[Get crazy by lmfao.]
Dj Pauly Delvecchio! I'm going to Jersey Shore, bitch! All right, we got a situation.
I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.
[Laughing.]
After I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off.
Go Vinny! Go Vinny! You like the boobs? ⪠If you wanna have fun and do something crazy ⪠What the [Bleep.]
just happened? What did you just do? Let's go do something.
[Groans.]
You never get me up at 7:00 in the morning.
I'm up! I'm freaking up.
And you know why I'm up? Because I [Bleep.]
slept in Vinny's bed last night.
I'm up.
If I get a breakfast place, you want to go? I need a girlfriend to talk to right now.
It's 7:30 in the morning, but I see Nicole.
Like, where are you coming from, Nicole? Like, did you pass out in the living room? Went to [Bleep.]
Vinny's bed.
[Chuckles.]
Jenni, at this point, I don't give a [Bleep.]
.
I don't care if me and Jionni are done, because he sucks [Bleep.]
.
Honestly, I would never cheat on Jionni, but I said, "we're done," on the phone, and that's why I just went crazy.
It was just it was a rebound reaction.
How drunk were you? Not that drunk.
'Cause I really have to talk to you anyways, 'cause I'm never [Bleep.]
talking to that kid.
Mike? Yeah.
For what went down and how I defended you last night.
Last night, Mike tells us in the living room when Nicole wasn't around that he got a [Bleep.]
from her.
I looked Mike dead in the face and I go, "I am telling Nicole.
" I was like, "she will never choose you over Jionni.
" Get that through your head.
" He goes, "well, she [Bleep.]
sure as hell" chose me over Jionni when she was [Bleep.]
my [Bleep.]
.
" Crazy pants! You're crazy pants! I didn't do anything.
Yeah, I watched [Bleep.]
ryder get with his friend.
And that was hot.
Whatever.
But I didn't [Bleep.]
get with Mike.
And Mike was so upset that I wouldn't hook up with him, 'cause he's not used to rejection.
I want to hairspray him in the face right now.
Why is there so much screaming? What the [Bleep.]
going on? Get out of my room.
Me get out of your room? Yeah.
For real? Everyone's telling me what the [Bleep.]
You said about me last night.
We're not friends.
Maybe you should talk to me first.
We're not friends.
It's all good, Snooks.
You're so mean.
'Cause I'm tired of being Mr.
nice.
All right, talk to me first before you talk to 16 other people, all right? I don't want to.
Talk to me first! I'm always nice.
Don't [Bleep.]
yell at me like that.
We're not friends.
Fine, Snooks.
We're not friends then, Snooks.
Fine, so get out of my room.
All day, baby! Fine.
Wow.
I mean, "get the [Bleep.]
out"? Like, she's like the fugitive right now and I'm harboring information.
You know what I'm saying? Don't talk [Bleep.]
and you won't feel like a [Bleep.]
douchebag.
That's all I have to say.
I just need my best friend.
So I'm like, "Jenni, we're going to get Mimosas.
" I hate you.
Are you ready Nicole? Yeah, let's go.
I'm so tired right now, you crazy whore.
They better have Mimosas at this breakfast, 'cause if they don't, I'm going back to Jersey.
I have to teach her a lesson.
I have to teach Nicole a lesson and the truth has to come out.
So let me just call my boy unit just to refresh my memory on what really happened that night between me and Nicole, my friend unit and ryder.
Yo.
Yo, what up? What up, homey? Yo, you remember when you were banging Snooki's friend ryder? Ryder, yeah, yeah.
Somehow that story got out, you know, throughout the day and there's just been mad arguments.
Really? I know you knew 100% about it, 'cause you were banging ryder, and then Snooki got a little horny, so she got on her [Bleep.]
real quick.
Really, you put that you put her on blast on that? I did, I definitely did put her on blast.
But you know what I mean.
Snooki turned from 4'9" to about 2'9".
You know what I'm saying? And then after that, she said, "don't ever, ever, ever, ever say anything.
" I said, "pinky swear.
" Thank you for waking up.
I love you.
I just need you in my life.
That's why I jumped out of bed.
Especially, like, right now.
You know what I mean? We'll spend the day together outside.
Do you agree Jionni sucks? Mm hmm.
Jionni sucks.
[Speaking Italian.]
Oh, that's both for me.
Okay.
Can I have a sip of one? Now I'm gonna look like the bad person you're not.
He pushed you so far.
You're a good girlfriend.
Well, not anymore.
I just wanted to cuddle.
I love him, like, as a best friend.
Did you have sex? No.
I don't remember having sex.
I'm figuring, you know, he [Bleep.]
on me.
I love Mimosas.
I love sleep.
Gym, tan, and [Bleep.]
drama today.
G.
T.
D.
Snooki, Jionni.
Pretty much my master plan is: Gym, tan, who's the rat? Oh, man, I'm just getting tired of people just not being nice to me, dog.
Snooki, this morning, she's like, "don't talk to me again.
[Bleep.]
Dude.
" I was like I'm like, "yo.
" I'm like, "me and you are close.
Like, don't do this.
" I want to show people in this house that you can't believe everything you hear.
So I'm going to tell the roommates a little lie and I'm gonna see who rats themselves out.
She's making me look like a liar, dude.
So I'm like, "you know what, man?" I gave my boy unit Jionni's number.
Said, "call him up and tell him what happened.
" But in reality, all I did is call unit and we talked about the story together and laughed about it.
Gym, tan, [Bleep.]
Drama today.
G.
T.
D.
Shh Uh oh.
So we'll see what happens now.
Sam had accidentally walked by when I had told Ron.
So now I've planted the seeds, you know? It's gym, tan, who's the rat? Deena.
What happened? I could have sworn I just hear Mike say he's gonna have "the unit" call Jionni.
Why would he [Bleep.]
do that? I don't know if I heard that right.
That's why I don't know if I should say anything.
You know, like, it's not his business to get involved in.
What an idiot.
He couldn't have said that.
Like, that's [Bleep.]
up.
I've been up since, like, Me too.
I woke up to people talking [Bleep.]
about me this morning.
Jenni and Snooks.
That's not cool.
So just to even up the odds, I call my boy unit, like, two hours ago.
I'm like, "dog, they're making me look out to be a liar.
" He's like, "yo, I'll call Jionni right now.
" What's his number?" I got Jionni's number out the phone book and gave it.
Really, Mike, though? I'm not gonna be made to look like a liar.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna flip the [Bleep.]
out.
You know I'm telling her though.
Yeah, I got to tell her that.
You guys can tell her.
That's [Bleep.]
up.
That's [Bleep.]
up.
Don't make me look to be a liar.
Yeah, but that's your friend.
So why is she telling me, "I hate you, don't ever talk to me again"? You need to talk to her, but you should talk to her before you go to that level of calling your friend to call her boyfriend.
That's [Bleep.]
up.
That's a [Bleep.]
move.
That's [Bleep.]
up.
I'm not the one that cheated on my boyfriend.
She did.
Oh, my God, I'm out.
I can't deal with this [Bleep.]
.
If you love your boyfriend, you wouldn't have [Bleep.]
me.
I don't know what's going on in Mike's twisted head.
He had a really good connection with Nicole.
They were friends.
I'm minding my business.
I don't give a [Bleep.]
.
I feel like that's [Bleep.]
up.
Friends don't do that.
People who love one another don't do that.
[Chuckles.]
Mike called the unit to call Jionni and tell him everything that [Bleep.]
happened with you and Mike.
[Bleep.]
You, Mike! [Shouting, glass breaks.]
Nicole! Did you hook up with him? Yes.
Tell Vinny, when I see him, he's dead.
He's done.
No, please don't.
Bongiorno.
Bongiorno.
Bongiorno! You can't even look at me, can you? I'm stopping traffic.
[Shrieks.]
When people function in the morning this early, this isn't real life to me.
It's like it's a video game.
Oh, my God, I just saw a nun! Ciao! I've never seen a nun before.
She is scared [Bleep.]
of you.
Oh, my God.
Is that real? Yeah.
I'll buy it off you.
This is very old wine.
Awesome.
How are we gonna get this home? Grazie.
Jenni, look what I got.
A 1981.
Look at.
Wow! So Nicole buys this, like, And we're walking down the [Bleep.]
Cobblestone Street.
Nicole, you're gonna rip it.
[Glass shattering.]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
My God, no! All of a sudden, this bottle of wine smashes everywhere.
[Laughs.]
Oh, my God! No! No, no! [Speaking Italian.]
This [Bleep.]
sucks balls! [Hip hop music.]
[Dial tone.]
Hello? Ma.
Hi.
Hi.
Guess where I'm going Tuesday.
So where you going, Vin? Sicily.
Me and, uh, the boys are going.
We are going to Sicily.
Just the boys.
We're taking a trip to visit my family and see my mother's town where she was born.
This is what I've wanted to do my whole life.
Pauly wants to know if there are any young girl cousins for him.
[Laughter.]
Hello? Hello? Are there? Ma? [Beeping.]
[Groans.]
Oh, oh, oh! You guys want to get some food? Today is laundry.
I don't feel good.
As a joke, I go up to Ronnie I go "Ronnie, man, I called my boy unit up" "Gave him Jionni's number And told him to call Jionni and tell him the deal.
" No, you didn't.
I didn't.
But I told Ronnie I did.
Now, before Ronnie even left the house, he had already told Sam.
[Laughs.]
But I really didn't call Jionni.
That's brilliant.
[Laughs.]
So now it's like, "gym, tan, who's the rat?" I don't understand the drama, whatever Mike's intentions were, but I'm just sitting here with my popcorn in my hand waiting for the [Bleep.]
to pop off.
It's gonna be a [Bleep.]
show tonight.
No, it's gonna be bad.
Oh, my God.
Work is over already? Oh, my God.
Nicole.
I am so upset about what Mike said this morning that I'm like, Nicole needs to know this.
That was the lowest [Bleep.]
I've ever heard.
I've gotta tell you what the [Bleep.]
just happened.
They called the unit to call Jionni and tell him everything that [Bleep.]
happened with you and Mike.
Stop getting in my business, you mother[Bleep.]
! Stop [Bleep.]
getting in my business, you [Bleep.]
! [Bleep.]
Stop! Stop! I'm not even kidding, Mike! [Bleep.]
You! [Bleep.]
You! You [Bleep.]
bitch.
[Overlapping arguing.]
[Bleep.]
You.
[Bleep.]
You, Mike.
Mike, I'm not kidding! Nicole! [Bleep.]
.
Nicole.
Don't sit here and feed people lies.
You're feeding everybody in this house lies.
Maybe Nicole isn't being honest.
Maybe Mike's telling the truth about your story.
[Bleep.]
You.
[Bleep.]
You.
You [Bleep.]
bitch.
[Overlapping arguing.]
Mike, I'm not kidding! Whoa.
Nicole, Nicole.
[Bleep.]
You.
[Bleep.]
You, Mike.
[Bleep.]
You.
You're not [Bleep.]
part of this house.
Mike's dodging everything like the matrix.
She's throwin' wine bottles at him, he's ducking 'em.
He's moving all around, he's running from her.
[Bleep.]
You.
[Bleep.]
You.
What? What the [Bleep.]
? Why the [Bleep.]
would you tell unit to [Bleep.]
call Jionni? I didn't do nothin'.
Why? What is your problem? You wanna know what I did? Say what you did, Mike.
Sam overheard me say, do not do anything, I'll will you listen to me for a I don't like you.
I don't [Bleep.]
like you.
I don't [Bleep.]
like you.
I don't [Bleep.]
like you.
Nicole.
I don't [Bleep.]
like you.
Nicole, wait.
I hate you.
Nicole, just Hate you.
He didn't do anything.
No.
He didn't do it.
He's it was a joke.
I didn't do it! It was a joke.
He didn't do it.
It was a joke! That's not a funny [Bleep.]
joke.
Why would you [Bleep.]
say that, then? It was a joke! That's not funny! Nothin' happened.
Well, you need to ask somebody.
Don't listen from the Peanut Gallery.
Ask people first! 'Cause I didn't make no [Bleep.]
phone call.
Then why would you go around sayin' that? Why are you [Bleep.]
talkin' [Bleep.]
? Stay out of it! Why would you say that? Let her ask first! Why would you say that to me? Let her ask first! Don't look at me, Nicole! He [Bleep.]
said it! No phone call was ever made! He said it! I was foolin' around because, guess what.
You talked to everybody first, and it backfired on you.
He's a [Bleep.]
.
Mike is trying to prove that me and Deena are rats.
Like, we mean rats.
Like, what's coming out of your mouth right now is straight bull[Bleep.]
.
I didn't do nothin'! Nothing.
All I did was tell three people a little lie because I wanted to see who would rat who out.
And guess what happened.
Sam's the one who ratted herself out.
She immediately ran in the room and ratted.
I didn't do anything, snooki.
Go away! Leave me alone.
[Sniffs.]
I didn't do anything to you, okay? Get the [Bleep.]
away from me! I can't just go! Get away from me.
[Bleep.]
Smile on your face You're a [Bleep.]
bitch.
Smile on my face How 'bout I make that phone call right now? Get away from me! How 'bout I make a real phone call? Get away from me! How 'bout I make the real Get away! [Sobs.]
She crying? She's crying.
She's crying over it because she knows it's true.
That I didn't say anything.
Yeah, but by you making her believe it, it's the same effect.
I understand that, but didn't need to prove you said it.
All she had to do was, "Mike, did you make a call?" "Nope, didn't.
" And it would've been solved.
Instead, she just went flippin' out, throwing [Bleep.]
, fightin', and that's exactly how it happens in this house every single time.
It's just messed up 'cause she really cares about the kid, you know? I know.
It looked like she cared last night.
[Laughter.]
Snooki came into Vinny's bed, wantin' to smush with Vinny.
She told me she was single last night.
So I was like, "all right.
" That's what's up.
I've roomed with Vinny before.
I know what it sounds like when he gets in.
I know what goes down.
And, um, they got it in.
[Chuckles.]
This is definitely my most well thought out evil plan.
But the prank that I pulled was a necessary evil.
Over this.
[Whining.]
Jenni! Yeah? Come here.
[Sobs.]
What's wrong? This is not fun anymore.
Honestly, I gave Mike a couple chances, I feel, here.
But, at this point, when you [Bleep.]
with me like that, it's done.
And as of right now, I am done with Mike.
Over it.
Done.
Sick [Bleep.]
kid.
I've been tellin' you that since day [Bleep.]
one.
He's a sick [Bleep.]
kid.
Been sayin' that since day one, and nobody wanted to listen to me.
Everyone thought I was the crazy one.
I never liked the kid, Ron.
He's a sick [Bleep.]
individual.
I don't really know what happened with Mike and Nicole.
Who cares if they [Bleep.]
hooked up? If you're friends, you don't [Bleep.]
Pull [Bleep.]
like you [Bleep.]
pulled.
Ridiculous.
This was a this was a test, a broadcast system test, you would think he would learn to stop after a while because he got punched in the face, he ran into a wall, and now he's getting champagne bottles thrown at his head.
How many wake up calls does Mike need? Doesn't matter.
That is huge.
The reason why I did that is because I wanted to be done with him.
Well, you are now.
He is gone, so accept it, and move on.
Can we talk about the other night? I wanna know what happened with me and Vinny.
Like, did we have sex and stuff? Did we? All right, let's go outside.
⪠We're going to Sicily ⪠today time to wake up.
Yeah, buddy.
Yeah, buddy.
Nicole.
Get up! Here.
This might make you feel better.
We're gonna go to a wine thing, just us girls.
After all the drama that just happened with Mike, this time couldn't have came more perfect.
The boys are going to Sicily so we decided we're going to Tuscany on a wine tour.
We're gonna drink some wine, get some drunk.
It's gonna be fun.
Good morning, boo.
Shh.
You shh! You're not ruining this [Bleep.]
trip for us.
You have to go.
You're [ .]
Going.
I'll pull the blanket right off.
You went to bed before me last night and I've been up for 2 1/2 hours.
Shut the [Bleep.]
up, Jenni.
We leave in 20 minutes.
I'm not gonna shut up.
I don't give you attitude like this when I Shut up! Have to get you up or I get up for you.
I understand.
Just shut up.
Please, just stop talking to me.
Don't wanna go to this stupid thing.
Well, good morning to you.
We look so sophisticated and classy.
Right? Ew! Nicole.
What? Did you fart? Yeah.
Ugh! Oh, my God, Nicole.
And there goes our class.
[Chuckles.]
You're in the sixth grade now? [Giggling.]
I'm so excited to meet my family for the first time.
I'm proud to be sicilian, and this is what life is all about tracing your roots and going to the homeland.
Yep.
Sicily! [Bleep.]
Sicily.
Oh, my gosh.
Holy [Bleep.]
.
Boys are pumped.
Sicily, here we come.
I hope your family likes me.
Oh, they will, baby.
Don't worry about it.
You might be moving too fast for me.
[Laughter.]
Yeah, buddy.
Look at these mountains, dude.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I'm seeing Sicily for the first time.
It looks like Jurassic Park.
There's volcanoes, and trees, and mist like, king Kong is in the bushes and it's really nothing like the Italy we've seen so far.
You know, guys, we are doing something crazy right now.
I don't know if you realize it.
Sicily.
No one ventures out this far, like, for real.
This is definitely some Mafia type [Bleep.]
.
I don't know if you've ever seen godfather ii, but [Bleep.]
it's in Sicily.
We pull up, and there's a ranch.
I'm like Four guidos in the woods? Eh I don't know about that.
Right now I am in the motherland.
My mother's land, literally.
I'm about to meet my family for the first time in Sicily.
This is where I come from, so I'm excited to be here.
Hello.
[Overlapping chatter.]
Mariucca? Yes.
Ciao.
[Speaking Italian.]
Hi.
Ciao, ciao.
[Both speaking Italian.]
[Speaking Italian.]
This was like the Guadagnino family train.
It was just one family member after another after another whose son's uncle's brother's nephew's cousin's brother's uncle's son.
I'm just like Ciao? [All speaking Italian.]
Eh, a little bit.
[Laughs.]
This is sick.
This is like makeout point right here.
All right, let's go.
No, I'm just kidding.
[Laughs.]
Oh, my God.
We have to take a picture over there.
This is very Italy.
We show up at our first winery.
It was very rustic and old and kind of had, like, a creepy feel to it.
This is one of the oldest castles in Italy still inhabited.
What we do today with you is wine tasting and tours of the 900 year old wine cellar.
Really? Is this haunted? Not anymore.
Oh Not anymore? Okay.
Follow me.
Ew, this is creepy.
No, I don't like this.
Don't go off by yourself, stupid.
Scream if you get lost.
[Whines.]
We're walking down in the cellars and the basement and stuff like that.
And it's frickin' scary! Like, this is haunted.
Boo! [Screams.]
[Laughs.]
[Sighs.]
It really was haunted.
I could feel.
I got the vibe.
You want to go upstairs and taste some wine? Yeah! Whoo hoo! Yeah.
Shh.
I'll bring this back to Deena.
[Chuckles.]
[Speaking Italian.]
Michael.
[Speaking Italian.]
If you want to be Italian, you have to know how to play soccer.
I play soccer.
Goalkeeper over here.
[Laughter.]
Come on.
[All cheer.]
Nice shot! All: Oh! No, no, no.
[Bell tolls.]
Nice job.
That was the money shot.
Perfect.
[Laughter.]
Look, she's got pictures of my family at home.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
I want to share this one.
There's me when I was like [Bleep.]
13.
Oh, let me see that.
Oh, no way! [Laughter.]
Oh, we gotta see that one.
All: Aah! My awkward phase! [Laughter.]
That was my awkward phase.
Hey, baby.
[Laughter.]
five of you at any time.
[Laughs.]
This is the best day of my life on the camera.
We'll have the wine tasting with the food.
Cool.
The first one I'm gonna serve is [Speaking Italian.]
That's the name of the winery.
Okay, we're gonna start off with a 2009.
This is the villa wine right now.
You can see this wall is that was, uh, bombed during world war ii.
Cool.
History.
Boo! Like, you know? Like, I'm not into geography anymore.
Give me [Bleep.]
wine.
This is the ultimate wine to serve with a steak.
Color, what they call [Belches.]
Excuse me.
When you grill, it kind of makes it a little bit bitter.
I just want her to shut up so I can talk about Jionni right now.
Like, I'm going through issues.
I don't give a [Bleep.]
about how wine's made.
Now just do your own thing.
Like you're just at a regular meal.
You don't want us to do our own thing.
We'd embarrass you.
Me and Deena would be on the tables.
[Laughs.]
Can we talk for a second and make me happy? Yeah.
What's wrong? Jionni Yeah.
What am I gonna do? That thing with freaking Vinny could have ruined it.
Yeah, why'd you do that? 'Cause he pissed me off to the point where at this moment, I know you want someone, but you doing that with Vinny no offense, like, the damage is done.
I want to, like, put it out there.
I want to be with him though.
Honestly, I really think at this point you should move on.
I do too.
If you want my real opinion, that kid won't forgive you for it.
So you gotta man up to your mistake and realize that it's over because of that.
I love him.
No, you don't.
If you loved him, you wouldn't have done that with Vinny.
Jenni just told Nicole the truth.
You know when somebody tells you you're doing something wrong, and you don't wanna like hear it? That's what I feel like Nicole is doing.
Honestly, though, I'm calling you out on you being wrong right now for the simple fact that you laid up in his bed I told you why I did that the only reason why It doesn't matter.
That is not an excuse.
'Cause I wanted to be done with him.
You are now.
You can't change it.
The damage is done.
She's being the worst best friend this whole time.
The worst.
And on top of what Mike's saying so that's when I was like, "bye.
" This kid is going to have enough.
I'm sorry.
I would never do that.
I would never cheat on him.
You did, though.
That kid will have enough, and he is gone.
So accept it and move on.
You're [Bleep.]
airing your best friend out right now.
What the [Bleep.]
? Do you want my opinion, or you want the truth? Jenni's being such a bitch to me, I can't even take her.
He [Bleep.]
me, and that's it.
I would never do that.
I would never cheat on him.
You did, though.
I want to be with this kid.
He is not for you.
Nicole stops the wine tasting and wants our opinion on her and Jionni.
If you loved him, you wouldn't have done that with Vinny.
We didn't have sex, okay? I mean, I was right there, so I'm thinking in my head, like, she did sex, but I'm not gonna put her on blast like that.
At the time, honestly, I was, like, I don't give a [Bleep.]
.
Me and Jionni are done.
I'm done with this kid.
He's making me feel miserable.
Now now that I think about it, I [Bleep.]
love him, and I can't believe I did that.
He's gonna be so beyond humiliated from the simple fact that his girlfriend, after two hours of getting in a fight, hooked up with Vinny.
He'll never accept it.
He'll never go on that and I don't want to be that person to say it to you, but as a best friend, move on.
My best friend would never do that to me and just say [Bleep.]
.
Jenni's really not there for me like I thought she was.
[Men speaking Italian.]
Getting to know my family is like an experience.
It's a choreography.
It's like a dance.
[Overlapping chatter.]
It's like course after course after course.
So much food, just like back home.
They literally keep piling it on.
[Speaking italian.]
My stomach's gonna explode.
Guys, leave some room because it's not over yet.
We just started.
[Laughter.]
Salud.
Salud.
My family, thank you for letting me and my friends come here.
My whole life, I dreamed about coming here and having this meal.
And right now it's coming true.
So it's amazing, and thank you, and I love all of you.
Beautiful.
[All make various toasts.]
You're welcome here anytime you want.
All right, thank you.
[Laughter.]
[Screams.]
You okay? Oh, no, did we hurt his bike? Did we hurt his bike? I would say us girls definitely went through about, like, ten bottles of wine.
[Laughter.]
[Speaking Italian.]
Today was a good time.
It's not over yet.
I'm horny.
It smells like a fart.
Eww, who just ripped ass? [Laughter.]
Oh, my God.
Here you'll find four different types of wood.
And so this blend of oh, my God, I'm so tired.
Like, I can't even drink wine anymore, and he's talking about these wine barrels and wah wah wah.
And different [Chuckles.]
I think your your friend is sleeping.
Probably [Laughs.]
Too many bottles for I'm awake.
I'm awake.
We're shot.
We're drunk.
Everything that this guy's saying, we already learned.
So it's just basically, like, bring on the wine and cheese.
What kind did you get? I guess I'll take the strong one that I always fall for.
Maybe you shouldn't.
Me? Yeah.
Don't talk [Bleep.]
, 'cause I'll air it all out right now.
Snap out of it.
I'm fine.
I'm annoyed.
Don't be mad about the truth.
The whole Mike and Nicole drama comes up.
I see, like, maybe Jionni thinks, like, something else happened.
You act like we're not best friends.
We are, but don't sit here and cry and feed people lies.
You're feeding everybody in this house, besides me, lies.
Maybe Nicole isn't being honest.
Maybe Mike's telling the truth about their story.
If I am your best friend, why can't you have someone to tell you the truth? No, actually, you're not anymore.
'Cause none of my best friends would ever say that.
I would never do that to a best friend.
I'm not doing anything.
You're [Bleep.]
airing your best friend out right now.
What the [Bleep.]
are you talking about? You just said, "if you're gonna [Bleep.]
air me out" Exactly You're airing me out now.
Why would you make a stupid comment like that? I don't need this.
I need you.
I'm supposed to sugarcoat it? I am here for you.
Yeah, you're supposed to sugarcoat it to make me happy.
No, you that's why I asked you earlier, do you want my opinion, or do you want the truth? Jenni's being such a bitch to me, I can't even take her.
You're gonna hate me.
What? Remember when I told you what happened with Vinny? Yeah.
Something more happened.
I would never do that to a best friend.
Would you speak the truth, or would you sugarcoat it? We would [Bleep.]
we tell each other the truth all the time.
Thank you.
And that's exactly what I did right here, and she can't [Bleep.]
handle it.
Nicole, at this point, is making up lies to people so they can say it's gonna be all right.
Maybe it's not gonna be all right, Nicole.
And you know what? Man up, and fix it yourself.
If you want to share this type of information with me, you have to expect an opinion, and you got to expect when you're gonna do wrong or right.
That's Nicole, though.
I feel like Jenni like, I love her to death, and I would [Bleep.]
die for her.
I swear to God, I would die for her.
But she's just being a not a good friend to me.
This should be a great cab ride.
[Scoffs.]
Yeah.
Oh, God.
[Exhales deeply.]
Here's your glasses.
Oh, thank you.
I was looking for them.
Nicole, I've got a little bag for your to put all the stuff in.
This whole time is supposed to be fun wine night, like, and this is, like, the worst ride home.
Like, everybody's quiet, and it's just awkward.
And I just want to punch somebody in the face.
Like, this is not how it was supposed to be.
[Traditional Italian music.]
⪠[Speaking italian.]
Si.
I'm the second generation.
The third generation.
The fourth.
Everybody.
Every generation is together right now.
Even though I never met these people in my life, we're just blood, so it's just an instant connection.
This guy right here you see how much he's smiling? He makes us all smile.
And their family takes us in like family.
Just like the one back home, right? We love your family, kid.
I'm glad I did this.
Forever we'll remember this forever.
You know what I mean? For real.
I wonder what the girls are up to right now.
[Laughs.]
Me an Jenni are not on good terms right now.
If you want to keep your friendship, talk to her about it.
Nicole knows, at this point, that I am agitated.
We're covering up for her, and I am done taking on her attitude, and I'm over it.
Hey, you.
Never again, boo.
Mm mm.
Okay.
I love you.
Okay.
Me and Jenni like, when we fight, we fight.
And we will legit kill each other, but at the end of the day, we still love each other.
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
I'm sorry.
I hated you so much.
I'm sorry.
I did, too.
The thing is, I get so mad, 'cause I know you just feel guilty, but you're not doing anything to get rid of the guilt.
And I'm You're frustrated with how I'm acting, I feel.
I get it.
[Phone dialing.]
Oh, dad, please answer.
I'm gonna kill you.
[Line trilling.]
Hello? Dad? Yes, dear? I miss Jionni.
Okay? What the [Bleep.]
do I do? Will, I can tell you this He did change his Facebook to single.
He did? Yep.
Because that's what you said you wanted done.
Oh, my God! He changed his Facebook status to single.
Really? Yeah, that means it's official.
He's an idiot, girl.
[Crying.]
I [Bleep.]
[Bleep.]
Up.
Oh, I hate myself.
You didn't cause this.
He caused this.
Okay? Fine.
I will call you in a little bit.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Bye.
Bye.
So, you know, I just wanted to talk to Jionni and just say, "first of all, I'm [Bleep.]
at you" "for changing your Facebook status to single.
"Like, who does that, if you really want to be with me? And also, I have to tell you something really bad.
" [Line trilling.]
Hello? Hi.
Can I talk to you? No! Why do you want to talk to me? You broke up with me! You broke my [Bleep.]
heart! I said, "a break"! I didn't say I [Bleep.]
want to break up with you! And then my dad has to [Bleep.]
tell me that you put on Facebook you're single? Are you that excited to get [Bleep.]
? Really? Why would you do that? Yesterday on the phone you said to me, "I can't be with you anymore.
" "You treat me like [Bleep.]
.
You make me a different person.
" You why do you think I said I wanted a break with you? Because, obviously, you [Bleep.]
said something dumb to me.
Do you understand I love you? What? I [ .]
Love you, and I'm hurting without you.
All I do I wake up, I go to sleep, and I think about you.
What the [Bleep.]
am I gonna do? What, do you think I don't think about you? Honestly, I have to tell you something, and you're never gonna talk to me again.
What? What'd you do? Please don't hang up when I tell you this.
What did you do? After we got off the phone, I ended up in Vinny's bed.
We didn't have sex.
Please don't hang up.
Please don't hang up.
Oh, please don't hang up.
We didn't have sex.
Please You had sex, or you didn't have sex? We didn't have sex.
Please don't hang up.
We didn't have sex.
Did you hook up with him? Yes.
All right, I'll see you later.
No, please don't hang up.
Please! Bye.
Please don't do this to me.
Nah, we're done.
We're done.
No! No, Nicole! Tell Vinny when I see him, he's dead.
He's done! [Bleep.]
You! Please don't do this to me! Please! [Phone clicks, dial tone.]
[Sobbing.]
[Rooster crows.]
[Traditional Italian music.]
⪠Hit stop, [Bleep.]
.
[Laughter.]
It's time to go, this trip has come to an end.
We need to head back to firenze.
Okay, buddy.
Thank you.
I can't thank you enough.
That's all right.
Thank you.
I will remember the Sicily trip for the rest of my life.
I brought my family with me from Jersey, and I came to Sicily, traced my roots back.
And I will return.
[Upbeat rock music.]
⪠[Dialing phone.]
[Phone ringing.]
I just wanted to call you, 'cause you're on my mind First off, I wanna know right now, what did you do with Vinny? Babe, come on.
Me and Vinny, I feel tried to have sex but it just didn't work.
But I don't remember.
I wanna know right now what you've done with Vinny.
He [Bleep.]
me and that's it.
We break up and you go [Bleep.]
around with Vinny an hour later! I [Bleep.]
Up.
I [Bleep.]
Up.
Nicole, I've never been [Bleep.]
crushed this bad in my life.
You don't give a [Bleep.]
about me, Nicole.
Oh, you're such a [Bleep.]
lie.
You're all I think about.
I'm a [Bleep.]
idiot, I'm so [Bleep.]
stupid for doing that to you.
[Cries.]
I get I [Bleep.]
up! I'm sorry! Babe, I'm sorry.
Nicole, I listen, do you wanna be together? Yes! I wouldn't be talking to you right now, are you kidding me? Right.
I'll give you another chance.
[Sighs.]
Thank you.
Just don't [Bleep.]
me over.
I wont [Bleep.]
you over, I promise.
All right, I gotta go, okay? Okay, bye.
Bye.
[Screams.]
Sorry! I'm so happy that me and Jionni are together.
Feel good? Oh, my God, he's giving me a second chance.
Aww, thank [Bleep.]
Jesus Christ.
And I'm so happy that he's giving me a second chance.
Like, I love him.
I'm in love! Like, what the [Bleep.]
! I'm in love.
Hm! See? Ooh! Oh, my God, I can't wait to go run and hug and kiss Sami.
Shut the [Bleep.]
up.
Yo.
Hi, girls.
Hey! Mm, I miss you so much.
Yeah? Can we talk about the other night? So I know what to tell Jionni? What do you mean, what happened? I asked you if you were drunk.
You said no.
I wanna know what happened with me and Vinny 'cause I don't exactly know.
Like, did we have sex and stuff? Like, I have no idea.
What, you can't remember what you did? That's how drunk you were? I don't believe you.
I remember certain things that I don't wanna say, did we [Bleep.]
smush? Don't say [Bleep.]
.
I just wanna know what to tell him.
You wanna know every little detail? Mm hm.
All right, let's go outside.
It was like a glitch in the Matrix.
Like, everything is happening the way it's supposed to be, then all of a sudden, glitch in the Matrix.
Whoa, bang Snooki.
And then everything just continued the way it was happening before.
So you were in my bed.
You climbed into my bed.
Mm hm.
And then Whatever, we were just cuddling.
And then, like, you started, like, kissing my neck a little bit.
And then you just kept saying, like, "[Bleep.]
Me.
" [Laughter.]
Stop, stop.
You were [Bleep.]
horny.
Stop it! [Bleep.]
.
Vinny, you don't have to say that! Oh, my God! Why would you say that? [Laughs.]
Oh, my God.
Whatever.
I thought we were just, like, cuddling and My [Bleep.]
was cuddling with your [Bleep.]
, but I have to tell him.
Tell him.
Don't lie.
I really, honestly thought we didn't have sex.
Like, I blacked out a little bit.
What are you gonna do? Freaking out.
Just going somewhere.
And I told Jionni that we just [Bleep.]
popped.
Now I have to call him back and say, "well, you sittin' down? We actually really had sex.
" [Sighs.]
Oh, dear [Bleep.]
God.
Oh! [Phone rings.]
Hello? You're gonna hate me.
What? Remember what I told you what happened with Vinny? Yeah.
Something more happened.
What? Uh I don't even wanna say it.
Say what? Uh We had sex.
[Sighs.]
Sync and correted by APOLLO