Jessie s04e14 Episode Script

So, are you guys all excited for the big game? Ready to vanquish those Viceroy High Vikings? Who cares about the game? The night before is the Win Big Shindig! I know, it's my first boy-girl dance! Ooh.
Ow.
Real mature.
Now, how do I make sure I go with someone as awesome as I am? Don't worry, Zuri, I'll help you.
One cootie-free cutie coming up! Yeah, if you need boy advice, I'm available too.
Uh, no offense, Jessie, but I'm gonna go with Emma's track record on this one.
That's fair.
Jessie, I'm the spirit coordinator for the dance, so I could use some help.
I have tons to do, including finding a giant Viking statue.
And you need that because Because the whole point of the Win Big Shindig is to throw stuff at the rival school's mascot! Duh! Well, I am totally free.
Barring any last minute acting jobs that might come up.
So, yeah, I'm totally free.
Well, I want to go with Nora St.
Clair, the prettiest girl in school.
Mmm.
Ravi, is there any special girl who tickles your Tesla coil? As a matter of fact, I was thinking of asking my Chem lab partner, although we run in completely different crowds.
Meaning she has a crowd.
Hey, hey! Why don't you just tell her you think you both have real "chemistry"? See.
This is why no one wants your dating advice.
Ooh, there's Martin.
He's handsome, and sweet, and gives a heck of a book report.
I'm gonna go ask him.
Zuri, you can't just go up to a boy and tell him what you want.
Oh, to be 11 again.
So what do I do? You get him to ask you.
And just in case he's already taken, you need backups.
Wow, I had no idea.
Thank goodness you're here.
There's a reason you were voted "Most Likely to be a Trophy Wife.
" Jessie, I have great news! You know, there are easier ways to make snow cones.
No, it's the Walden Wasp! I'm helping Emma with decorations for the dance.
And here I thought my Armadillo Scout ice sculpting badge was a waste of time.
Oh, before you get started on another story from your weird childhood, let me tell you my news.
I got a part as a supernumerary at the Metropolitan Opera! Bertram, that's fantastic! Do you have a line? No, but I get to carry a big spear and wear a cool hat! Aw.
Now that I think about it, this was a very dangerous merit badge.
And so, if your total number of protons is not equal to your total number of electrons, Ravi, do you have an ion? I certainly have an "eye on" someone.
Ravi, where's my main science guy? Ravi Ross, the Science Boss! You never leave me hangin'! Apologies, my chemical brother.
Ow! Jax, do you have something you'd like to share with the class? Yeah.
I just pierced my ear with this paper clip! Charming.
May I ask you something? Another time, perhaps.
Okay, Nora's on her way.
When she gets here, I'm gonna ask her to the dance and blow her mind.
While I blow the confetti cannons.
Do you think she will say yes? How could she not? I've got this face, a C+ average, and two coats of deodorant.
Yes, Nora is a lucky, lucky girl.
Meanwhile, I'm having trouble inviting Jax.
Wait, you want to ask Jax? She'll eat you up and spit you out! And then brag to her friends about how far she spit you! I admit, she may be a little "rough around the edges" and "bloodthirsty," but I kind of dig it.
Ravi, Jax only likes bad boys.
And, you know, look at you.
Are you telling me I do not look like a rebel? I will have you know, today I missed a belt loop! Although truth be told, it has been driving me crazy.
I rest my case.
Now, get to your cannon station! I hear Nora coming.
Jessie, you ruined everything! Okay, people have got to stop saying that when I enter a room.
I'm here to go over dance decorations with Emma.
What's going on? Ugh.
Help me clean up, fast.
Pull that banner down so we can reset everything! Okay.
So, Luke, what did you wanna tell me? Uh Is this your idea of a practical joke? Fixed it.
Kids, you're gonna be late for school! Wow! Even Bertram's up before you! I couldn't sleep.
People have told me that was a thing before, but I never believed it.
What's wrong? Did they cancel Whisk Wars? No, I'm nervous because the opera director gave me a one-line solo.
There's a big difference between singing at the Met and singing to a shampoo bottle in the shower.
Okay, first of all, I really need you to start the kids' lunches.
And second of all, why do you have shampoo? At least one of you is ready! By the way, have you asked anyone to the dance yet? Oh, Jessie, it's cute you think that's how it works.
Emma had me start three different gossip chains to make sure it got back to each of my three options that I want him to invite me.
But putting your dish in the sink is too much work.
Oh, wow, when you said planning the dance was a lot of heavy lifting, you weren't kidding.
I'm so stressed.
We don't even have a band for the dance yet.
How am I supposed to get everything done, and help Zuri? These are perfectly manicured hands, not wands! I can help! Uh, what can I do? Pick up the cake? Make the punch? How about find a six-foot, papier mache Viking statue on short notice? So, someone's already making the punch? Geez, how does the football team fit Ravi in here every day? Emma, it worked! All three boys invited me to the dance! So now should I go talk to Martin and tell him he's the lucky guy? Sure, if you want to scare him away forever! If you answer too quickly, you'll look desperate.
This is exhausting.
By the time this shindig rolls around, I'll be so tired that when I wave my hands in the air like I just don't care, I really won't care.
I don't wanna know.
Jax, I hope that is not permanent marker.
I mean, way to deface school property, homegirl! You have left your textbooks in your locker.
Hmm.
It's not my locker.
Hey, Ravi, this might be a little weird for me to ask, since we barely know each other Is this actually happening? The answer is yes, yes to the tenth power, yes! Sweet! Here's my chemistry homework.
I owe you.
Can't believe you have to order a viking statue two weeks in advance.
By Thor's hammer, this is difficult.
D-oh! Bertram, you going through puberty? It's always been my dream to perform at the Met.
But I'm afraid I'll embarrass myself.
But you're in a boy band.
Aren't you used to performing? And embarrassing yourself? There is a big difference.
My voice has to be perfect.
In Badd Direction, they only wanted me for my body.
Oh.
Oh, Bertram.
No, no, I'm positive they wanted you for your voice.
Positive.
So, is there any world at all in which "Here is my chemistry homework," could mean, "Future valedictorians are my jam?" Ravi, Jax has gotten three suspensions, and 27 tardies.
She's a legend among my people.
Okay, if you wanna win her over, you've gotta be badder.
I believe you mean "worse.
" Ah, yes, now I hear it.
Okay, Ravi, it's not enough to just dress like a rebel.
You might actually have to break a rule.
Break a rule? Do you think she would like to watch me take a standardized test with a No.
1 pencil? Okay.
Can you go be lame somewhere else? Once Nora gets here, a skywriter is going to fly by and write a message asking her to the dance.
It's a lot of moving parts, but what could go wrong? Hey, Zuri! Have you been blowing up with texts from your three options, begging you to say yes? Oh, I'm about to blow up all right.
Thanks to you, I waited too long to get back to them, so they all got other dates to the dance! Ooh, that's a clever move.
I wonder who's coaching them? No one! This whole thing is stupid! You told me I had to play games, but I should have just told Martin I wanted to go with him.
Well, sure, if you want to do things the easy way.
Everyone wants to do things the easy way! It's the easiest! Luke, if you have something to say to me, please make it quick.
I have to go to the doctor to get the confetti removed from my ear.
Uh, yeah.
Just stand right here.
Uh Okay, I just have to make a quick call.
Don't move.
I can't believe I fell for another one of your stupid practical jokes! Uh No, wait Oh! Oh.
Ow! My ankle! Why do you hate me? Nora, I swear, I wanted you standing there for something else! Wait Ow! Merciful heavens, make it stop.
Could this get any worse? Who is "Laura"? H2O is water, and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide.
So, class, what is H2O4? Drinking.
Get it? H2O is "for" drinking? Really, Ravi? Not even a chuckle? You're the one who forwarded me those chemistry jokes.
Uh I am sure I do not know what you are talking about.
Bad boys do not get email blasts from Lab Laughs.
Anyway, hydrogen peroxide has many applications.
It also has a very explosive reaction when mixed with potassium iodide.
Ooh! Explosive enough to crack a safe? Finally, we're learning something useful! Hold up.
We're not allowed to cause explosions in this school anymore.
Just ask my predecessor, Mr.
Lefty.
So causing an explosion in class would be breaking a rule? Ravi, you know it would.
You wrote the class rules, since you have the prettiest handwriting.
Ravi, what are you doing? That would cause a Mr.
Feeley, you got a little something right everywhere.
It appears we have a chemical comedian in our class.
Well, Ravi, let's see how funny you think detention is tonight! Tonight? But tonight is the dance! Yeah, that's so not fair! Well, if you're so worried about Ravi, you can join him.
What? No, you're just mad that he can actually make us laugh.
H2O is for drinking! Think about it, people, it's hilarious! Oh.
I take it the skywriting didn't fly? Jessie, please.
I'm too depressed for wordplay.
Luke, sometimes when you just relax and let things happen, they take care of themselves.
Okay? What? No! No, I said a giant statue of a Norseman, not a horse man! Here.
Can you take these to the gym for me? Viking emergency.
Luke? Nora! I can't believe this.
You did all this for me? Uh Yes, I did.
This is so sweet! I thought you hated me.
Wait, the marching band isn't hiding anywhere, is it? Nora, I'm really sorry about all that.
It's just, you know, you're the coolest girl in school, and I didn't think you'd go to the dance with me unless I asked in a big way.
Well, I'd say this is pretty big.
Although I heard some girl named Laura got asked by a skywriter.
So, uh Will you go to the dance with me? I'd love to.
And you know, you didn't have to go through all this trouble.
Trust me, when prom rolls around, I'm just sending a text.
So, this is detention.
The Slammer.
The Big House.
What should I do first? Pump some iron? Make a friend named Bubba? How about quietly do your homework? Mr.
Feeley, I assume this was supposed to be a punishment.
You know, I hope you're both happy.
I had to cancel a hot date tonight for this.
That's not true.
No, it isn't.
You two stay put.
I'm going to the bathroom to try wash these chemicals off again.
Everyone keeps asking if I'm an Avatar.
You know, I had big plans for the dance.
I have a whole locker of tomatoes I was going to throw at that Viking! And maybe one or two at the principal "by accident.
" Jax, I am truly sorry for getting you into this.
Hey, why did you cause that explosion anyway? You never do anything wrong.
Well, I thought you only liked bad boys, and I wanted to ask you to the dance.
What? Why would you want to go with someone like me? When I ask someone if they wanna dance, it usually means I'm starting a fist fight.
I know, and that really gets my beaker boiling.
I love that you do not care what anyone thinks.
Neither do you.
Like, aren't you the kid who's in that weird lizard group? Reptile Club, but let us not split scales.
Maybe we have more in common than I previously thought.
Maybe.
Hey, we should get matching tattoos! Although it is important to celebrate our differences.
Hey, why don't we bust out of this joint and go to the dance? Really? Like, together? Sure.
Oh.
But what if Mr.
Feeley sees us in the hall? Oh.
We're not going through the hall.
We're going through the wall.
What a woman! Ouch! Still, that was easier than climbing up it.
Hello, Viceroy High? Yeah, I was wondering how open you are to changing your mascot from a viking to a centaur? I mean, a nice torso is a nice torso, am I right? Hello? Why are you sitting here by yourself? I can't slow dance alone, can I? It's times like these I wish I hadn't killed off all my imaginary friends.
Zuri, I'm sorry I gave you bad advice.
Are you still mad? No.
I know you were only trying to help.
Still, I feel terrible.
So I told Martin it was all my fault, and he really wants to have a dance with you.
He does? Thanks, Emma.
And I know I said I wasn't mad, but check your sheets before you get in bed tonight.
A-ha! There you are! Ravi, you got detention? And disappeared? And turned your teacher into a Smurf! Please let us stay.
You know dancing with a girl was on my bucket list.
What do you say, Mr.
Feeley? We know Ravi made some bad decisions today, but we both know he's a good kid.
Well, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't fight chemistry.
I was quite the ladies' man in high school, you know.
That's not true.
No, it isn't.
Ravi, out of respect for our friendship, I'll let you stay.
But Jax has to fix my heating grate, and you have to fix my master's thesis.
Deal! All right.
Have fun, you two.
And if you hurt him, I know Krav Maga.
Yikes.
Maybe I shouldn't have stolen her wallet.
Aw, isn't this sweet? Yup! And now it's time to destroy the Viking! Uh Yeah, about that Thanks again, Jessie, for helping me.
Without a rival mascot to ridicule, I'd be ostrich-sized! Oh, Emma, that word of the day app is almost working.
Yeah, I'm a walking tyrannosaurus! Uh Jessie! I was on my way to the Met, and I panicked.
What if everyone boos and throws things at me? Wait a minute.
You're a Viking? No, I just like the feel of a fur-lined romper.
Of course I'm a Viking! Okay, listen.
What if I told you there is a way you could face your fear before the show, in front of the toughest audience you could ever imagine? Go on.
Thanks, Jessie! You were right.
After this, the Met's gonna be a piece of cake! Listen up, everyone! I have a huge surprise for you.
Thanks to my incredibly hard work, and a lost tour bus driver, I give you, The Vamps! That was amazing! Hey, do you have a pen? I wanna get their autographs.
Wait! Where's my wallet? Thanks, Jessie, for all your help.
You're welcome, and everything turned out great! You should be really proud of yourself.
Now go dance with your date.
Oh, I don't have a date.
I decided to keep my options open.
Hey, Emma! Get up here and dance with us! Good call.
Hey, want to dance? Uh, I actually came here with a date.
That's not true.
No, it isn't.
Okay.