Keeping Up With The Kardashians s05e01 Episode Script
Kim's House Party
This season on Keeping Up With the Kardashians Keeping Up With the Kardashians 5x01 Kim's House Party So I could teach her to swim.
Yeah.
The big 10 point guard can't swim.
Kim, you are the only single one.
Yeah.
This is Kim's new bodyguard.
We have to work professionally.
Someone who wanted to get set up with you.
He plays football.
I don't want to date another football player.
Who cares? Miles Austin.
My wish would be to get the hell away from her family.
Kourt, are you moving to New York? She's going to leave us.
If we're together, you don't text other Whores! This feels really good.
I don't want my wife fooling around with some young kid! Kris I just feel like everything happens for a reason.
We've never seen you and dad fight like that.
I'm just sick and tired of all of this! I need a little help, you guys, with what we're having for dinner.
I'm just gonna make Kendall's favorite pasta if nobody else has a vote.
It's not my favorite pasta anymore.
You make it every single night, ma.
Okay, well, I don't make it every night.
You actually do make the same food every single night.
Okay, now nobody gets a vote because I'm tired of the bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.
May I have your attention? What? As some of you may know, a few weeks ago You won a gold medal.
No.
My wedding ring broke.
What?! It did? I've never had my wedding ring off in 19 and a half years.
I got the ring back.
I think what we should do is we should have a little ceremony, renew our vows.
Come on in here, honey.
I just Up the cake, so just hang on, Romeo.
What an annoying woman.
Are you sure you want to get remarried right now? Okay, let's do this.
I gotta make pasta.
All right, stand right here.
Hold Mason.
He's my best man.
He holds the ring.
Kim, don't do that! Come on, honey.
I'm wearing white.
She's wearing white.
I have gathered you all here today for this joyous occasion.
I, with this ring I, with this ring Promise to love you Promise to love you Be kind to you Be kind to you Always have sex with you.
Kris Always have sex with you.
Please say, "I do.
" I do.
Yay! You have to kiss first.
I don't think he can lift her.
This is all awkward.
You weren't this heavy before.
This is weird.
bunim-murray productions He wants a boob, honey.
You don't have a boob, okay? hi, how are you? What are ya doin'? Mom, one time we were fighting about Scott, and she was like saying that that's how Scott talks.
Scott doesn't talk like that.
Kris he's a gangsta.
Scott doesn't have an accent, but he has a high-pitched voice.
Kris no, he has an accent.
And he wants a piece of pizza.
Ever since Scott and I got back from Miami, we probably see each other every couple days.
I think it's important that Scott sees Mason whenever he wants.
Scott has definitely been making some great steps towards bettering himself.
He's been sober since Miami.
Hi, Buddy.
I'm also selling my condo right now, and I've decided that it's best that I live with Khloe for now, where Rob's there, Khloe's there, lamar's there.
There's plenty of extra hands to help me out with Mason.
I've given Scott so many chances.
I used to live with Scott.
It's all, but he's always, "I'm trying, I'm trying.
" It's always that.
I'm over it.
Like you know what? It's-- people have their limits.
Scott has messed up consistently.
Literally, it's like a merry-go-round.
It happens every four to six months.
Can I get you to shut your Up? So if anyone thinks that I'm being a little harsh, a little aggressive, please spend a day in my shoes, and maybe you'll feel the exact same way.
We're supposed to accept who he is and these outbursts and things that happen.
And then it's our turn to have a moment, he gets to walk away.
I mean, why are we supposed to put up with it and not walk away? In the big picture, when you are dating somebody, it's as good as the relationship will ever get.
Ever.
Ever.
You get married to him, it's only gonna make it more difficult 'cause now you got a contract.
This is so beautiful.
This is like we're in Italy, honey.
It is like in Italy.
It's gorgeous.
Come in! Hey, Kim, this is absolutely gorgeous! Thank you! Do you love it? This is amazing! So a lot has gone on in the past month or so since Miami.
Reggie and I broke up.
And at first it was really tough living your life so public, seeing your relationship play out in all the tabloids.
But now I am over it.
I'm single and I am absolutely loving life.
Since I'm not in a relationship, the one thing I've just been diving into and obsessed with right now is my new house.
Hey, the maceman is here.
What's happening, Buddy? Kim, this looks so amazing.
It's kind of like my relationship.
All my clutches will go there.
Oh, my God, I love the chandelier! I'm like nurturing it and spending a lot of time there and just making sure that everything is perfect.
Masey, look what you left at home! Mr.
Roberto It's my new boyfriend.
This house is stunning.
You guys need to get out of here.
This room is just to look at, not to sit in.
Let's check the backyard out before we get in trouble for sitting on the furniture.
All right, let's go.
There's the path.
Yeah.
This is fantastic.
Do you guys have to wear your heels and stuff on the grass? Actually, you should walk on the grass with your heels 'cause it will aerate the lawn.
Okay, seriously, you're getting crumbs everywhere.
Look at this! So let's not eat anymore in Kim's house.
This'll be fun.
Kourtney! When my whole family comes over, they are nothing but obnoxious.
Fingerprints, fingerprints, people.
Seriously, guys, paws off.
Paws off the window.
Oh, why did you invite us over? I want you to see it.
I said, "look, don't touch.
" Hi.
Hi.
How are you? Good.
How are you? So, basically, I wanted to go back to what you were saying initially in terms of your insecurities and being thrust into this bigger family.
Right.
While Scott and I are kind of working on things, we've been going to therapy twice a week.
I don't know where our relationship stands, but we're both working on it.
I love Scott.
He's Mason's father, and we're both doing our best.
How do you feel about being part of a big family? I mean, is that something that is attractive to you, or is it something that like, "get me out of here"? Yeah, that's not for me.
It's not for you.
Him and my brother used to be close.
Him and my sister Khloe used to be close.
We used to all three live together.
They like despise each other now.
How do you feel about that? How do you deal with it? It's like I have to live two different scenarios.
Right, two separate lives, in essence, with your partner.
Right.
I'd like to know from you, you know, what are your expectations, what are your needs in the relationship? The only thing I want is to be treated like the man that everybody's asking of me.
Once you've broken trust, and you start thinking in your mind, "I want to be a better person, I want to be a better dad," people aren't automatically gonna go, "oh, Scott, that's so great! We're so happy for you.
" You know, they're gonna be really cautious.
That becomes challenging for the two of you.
Hey, Kim.
Hey, mom.
What are you doing? Just organizing.
You still unpacking? Yeah.
Do you know what I realized when I was driving up here? What? I drove by the house that daddy and I used to live in.
And then Bruce and I used to live next door.
I know.
That was our first house.
We rented that house before we-- That's why I knew that this was like meant to be.
We have like the best memories here.
Kim, you have to have like a housewarming party.
I don't want anyone over, never.
Ou have a huge, beautiful new house.
It won't be too beautiful after everyone comes and messes it up.
It's a party-- with adults.
It's not a bunch of teenagers running around.
I know, but like I just don't like people in my space, you know? Kim, I'll make it easy.
I'll do all the planning.
We'll have everybody over.
It'll be fun.
Have some fun once in a while.
Fine.
Okay, but it has to be like normal hours.
I don't want to like piss off my neighbors.
Kim, it's not animal house.
Yes, it is.
All right, I'll do a list.
I'll bring Lisa over.
I'll get the caterer.
We're having cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, that's it.
Everybody out of here by 10:30.
Fine.
All right.
Ooh, think that's the Gate.
Hello.
Khlo, how do I open the Gate? For who? Scott's here to take us to lunch.
I'll just buzz you out when you go out there.
Well, he was going to come help me get out of the house.
I do believe Scott has a lot of negativity around him.
How do I open it? You don't.
Just turn it off speaker.
You're mature.
And since lamar's in the playoffs, and the last thing he needs is negative energy.
Scott is not allowed in my house, point-blank.
He's a negative awful person, so yeah, I don't want him in here.
Khloe is being extremely immature, and won't even let Scott drive on her driveway.
Which only burdens me.
What is Scott going to do in here by helping me out the door? I don't need things to make my life any harder.
Bye, kourt.
Thanks, gem.
You're welcome.
Kourtney is so annoying.
There's red wine here.
I didn't want to have this party, so you need to help me clean up.
This was your bright idea.
Merry maid Kim is like turning into a lunatic.
Why would I want someone like that in my house? Scott just wants to come say good night to his son.
If you want to stay at my house, he can't come there.
There's rules.
Okay, well, I don't need to be living under rules.
Fine, then don't.
Bye-bye.
Hey, what are you doing? I just hate staying in this nasty house.
Why? Because Khloe is so damn immature.
She just needs to worry about herself and lamar and like her own life, and stop putting all this negative energy on mine.
I'm not taking sides.
Like, yeah, Scott pisses me off sometimes, but Scott's the father of your child.
She's got to be understanding and be supportive and she's not.
Mason's the number one priority.
Right, and I'm trying to do what's best for him.
If Scott isn't what's best for him, I'm not going to have him in his life.
Khloe needs to learn that what she's doing isn't fair, especially to her sister.
Right.
I love you.
Love you.
Good night.
Kimmy, it's me.
Kim.
Are you still unpacking? Yes.
I've asked Bruce to come over to help me party-proof my house before my mom gets there, because as soon as she gets there, all my ideas will be thrown out the door.
I rented these things right here, you know, like from a movie theater.
Go ahead.
And I want to put them in front of like the grass area and in front of my-- You mean like nobody can walk on the grass? I know I'm being way over the top, but I need to have some control at some point.
Voilà ! Can we set up the shoe racks? You're actually going to have people take their shoes off when they come to the party? Of course.
Ooh, we got gas.
Aw, oh, oh.
Hello? Hey, mom.
Hey, Kim.
Wait, shoes off.
On the racks, on the racks.
Everyone is not coming to your party in a cocktail dress, Kim, and taking off their shoes.
And Bruce is taking these stupid things out to the garage.
They're not staying here while your guests come in and have barriers so they can't get into your rooms.
It's rude.
I don't want people in there.
There are sprinklers out that side.
They're going to get mud all over my brand-new white carpets.
Kim, you're turning into an old Lady.
Why don't you just put plastic on your couches? Kim, if you're going to own a home, you have to learn how to entertain.
Hello? Hey, khlo.
Where are you? Up here.
Kim, you've got to get ready.
You know what? I'm totally fine.
Me and masey are just chillin'.
Hello.
I'm just hanging out at Kim's.
Yeah, that would be nice.
We'll be at Khloe's after.
Who's that? Scott.
Scott's not coming over.
I'm serious.
Tell him no.
All right, I'll call you when I leave here.
It's my house.
Love you.
Bye.
Why would you care if you're not going to be there? Because it's still my house.
Do you not get it? Why would I want someone like that in my house? I just came before the game-- I wanted to say congrats on your housewarming.
Have fun.
And kourt, he's just not coming over.
So I would call him back.
That doesn't even make sense.
Like why would that affect you in any way? I didn't think this was continuously going to be such an issue.
Just respect that I don't want him over and don't bring him by and try to be Shady.
If you want to stay at my house, he can't come there.
There's rules.
Okay, well, I'm 31.
I don't need to be living under rules.
Fine, then don't.
Bye-bye.
Have fun.
I am so upset with my mom right now.
Here we go! What are you doing? Finishing packing.
Come on, Kourtney.
I'm getting out of Khloe's house.
I don't want some negative person in our home.
Hi! How are you?! So good to see you.
You look gorgeous.
So do you.
My girls are here.
I didn't do it! I didn't do it! Is this your beer? No.
Crumbs, crumbs, crumbs.
There's red wine here.
Stop.
Stop! Merry maid Kim is like turning into a lunatic.
I didn't want to have this party, so you need to help me clean up.
This was your bright idea.
It's embarrassing.
Man 1: I'm already getting drunk.
Man 2: I know, man.
Kim.
What? Rob, all of his friends have shown up And he's not here.
He is at the laker game.
Kick all of his friends out.
I am so upset with my mom right now.
This is exactly what I said i didn't want.
What's going on here? Jesse drafted you to our team.
All you have to do is throw that ball into any cup you want.
Okay.
Sorry, fellas! Here we go! I'm cleaning up, and I notice this huge red wine stain on my couch pillow.
I cannot handle this anymore.
I want everyone to go.
I'm just gonna lock myself in my room because this is just too much anxiety for me.
Kim? Yeah? What are you doing? Trying to clean up.
But the party's still going on.
I know, but my pillow's ruined.
All right, come here.
What? Have a seat.
I've been watching you.
You're not enjoying yourself one bit.
No, and I'm not going down there anymore.
The party's over.
The party is actually just getting started.
No, for me, it's over.
This is my dream home.
Everything about this house is brand-new.
It's exactly what I wanted.
It's perfect.
And if anyone was gonna mess it up, it has to be me.
I I understand.
You know, you built a great house.
You gotta kind of break it in.
A house is to enjoy.
It's about building memories, having a good time.
It's just my house, and how I live is under my control.
So when it gets out of order, I feel like not myself.
You just have to remember that anything that happens, we can fix, you know? The pillow, you know, we can get another pillow.
Pillows are easy, but you can't get other, you know, memories.
It's to live in, you know? Yeah, you're right.
The only person I'm concerned about is your mom.
She's probably down there right now ruining this place.
I need to go get her.
Yeah, let's go get her.
Yeah! Whoo! Okay, I'm going inside.
Love you guys.
I am so proud of you showing off your little cupcake, and I think Kim No! Mommy, no! Really? Really? You don't want to mess with me, bitch! Are people welcome to your new house, Kim?! Everybody, grab a broom.
Everyone, I'm gonna get in the shower, so enjoy yourselves! I wanted to thank you all for coming.
You're all welcome to come any time you want.
Just don't spill anything else.
The cleaning crew's coming.
Come in.
Kourt? Yeah? What are you doing? Just finishing packing.
Where are you going? To Kim's.
Why? Because I don't feel like having this negative energy in my life right now.
Oh, come on, Kourtney.
I'm getting out of Khloe's house.
This isn't the best environment for Mason and I.
So I think that Mason and I living with Kim is the best thing for everyone.
What am I supposed to do if I don't want some negative person in our home? That's not what it's about.
If he needs to see his son, and he can't drive in the driveway to make it easier for me to get my stuff in the car, I don't need the little backhanded comments every second in my ear.
I've tried to manage the situation with Khloe and Scott not getting along, but right now I think I just need to keep them two separate parts in my life.
As hard as that is, I know that it's a lot easier than living with Khloe and trying to manage it.
Bottom line is, I don't want this interfering with our relationship.
I feel like lately our relationship has not been what it is because of Scott, and you know if this is gonna save our relationship, then great.
And I'm married.
I don't need all of my brothers and sisters living in my house with my husband.
And I'm 31 years old.
I don't need to be living somewhere that I have rules.
You know, I could try it out at Kim's and see how it goes.
Khloe well, do you need any help packing? I'm not trying to rush you out, but you know, if you need help, I'm here to help.
I definitely hate to see Mason and Kourtney go.
Let's sleep together tonight.
We're sisters.
I love her with all my heart, but you know, if this is gonna make our relationship better, then maybe that's the best.
Kourtney! Khloe I say we load up the bébé.
I'll bring this and this.
We could make a second trip if need be.
I think we got it all.
Do you have a bellman? Yeah, Robert's the new and improved Bruce.
Mason? Mason? Mason, one day, kid, you're gonna be doing this dance.
Kourtney and I at this point in our lives aren't gonna ever see e-to-eye on this suation.
Call me when you get to Kim's.
Okay.
I just get frustrated 'cause I feel like everything kind of turns back to Scott.
And it's hard and it's sad, especially if she's hang so many problems with Scott.
Like why is she still letting him drive a wedge between us, too? Bye.
Bye, kourt, love ya.
Next on keeping up with the kardashis.
You are the oy single one.
Yeah.
My mom is trying to set me up on a blind date.
I've already talked to the guy on the phone.
Do you get any extra tickets for playoff games? Laker tickets, baby.
Come on.
I never go to any games 'cause you guys always wanna go.
You guys are acting like dogs over meat.
Yeah.
The big 10 point guard can't swim.
Kim, you are the only single one.
Yeah.
This is Kim's new bodyguard.
We have to work professionally.
Someone who wanted to get set up with you.
He plays football.
I don't want to date another football player.
Who cares? Miles Austin.
My wish would be to get the hell away from her family.
Kourt, are you moving to New York? She's going to leave us.
If we're together, you don't text other Whores! This feels really good.
I don't want my wife fooling around with some young kid! Kris I just feel like everything happens for a reason.
We've never seen you and dad fight like that.
I'm just sick and tired of all of this! I need a little help, you guys, with what we're having for dinner.
I'm just gonna make Kendall's favorite pasta if nobody else has a vote.
It's not my favorite pasta anymore.
You make it every single night, ma.
Okay, well, I don't make it every night.
You actually do make the same food every single night.
Okay, now nobody gets a vote because I'm tired of the bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.
May I have your attention? What? As some of you may know, a few weeks ago You won a gold medal.
No.
My wedding ring broke.
What?! It did? I've never had my wedding ring off in 19 and a half years.
I got the ring back.
I think what we should do is we should have a little ceremony, renew our vows.
Come on in here, honey.
I just Up the cake, so just hang on, Romeo.
What an annoying woman.
Are you sure you want to get remarried right now? Okay, let's do this.
I gotta make pasta.
All right, stand right here.
Hold Mason.
He's my best man.
He holds the ring.
Kim, don't do that! Come on, honey.
I'm wearing white.
She's wearing white.
I have gathered you all here today for this joyous occasion.
I, with this ring I, with this ring Promise to love you Promise to love you Be kind to you Be kind to you Always have sex with you.
Kris Always have sex with you.
Please say, "I do.
" I do.
Yay! You have to kiss first.
I don't think he can lift her.
This is all awkward.
You weren't this heavy before.
This is weird.
bunim-murray productions He wants a boob, honey.
You don't have a boob, okay? hi, how are you? What are ya doin'? Mom, one time we were fighting about Scott, and she was like saying that that's how Scott talks.
Scott doesn't talk like that.
Kris he's a gangsta.
Scott doesn't have an accent, but he has a high-pitched voice.
Kris no, he has an accent.
And he wants a piece of pizza.
Ever since Scott and I got back from Miami, we probably see each other every couple days.
I think it's important that Scott sees Mason whenever he wants.
Scott has definitely been making some great steps towards bettering himself.
He's been sober since Miami.
Hi, Buddy.
I'm also selling my condo right now, and I've decided that it's best that I live with Khloe for now, where Rob's there, Khloe's there, lamar's there.
There's plenty of extra hands to help me out with Mason.
I've given Scott so many chances.
I used to live with Scott.
It's all, but he's always, "I'm trying, I'm trying.
" It's always that.
I'm over it.
Like you know what? It's-- people have their limits.
Scott has messed up consistently.
Literally, it's like a merry-go-round.
It happens every four to six months.
Can I get you to shut your Up? So if anyone thinks that I'm being a little harsh, a little aggressive, please spend a day in my shoes, and maybe you'll feel the exact same way.
We're supposed to accept who he is and these outbursts and things that happen.
And then it's our turn to have a moment, he gets to walk away.
I mean, why are we supposed to put up with it and not walk away? In the big picture, when you are dating somebody, it's as good as the relationship will ever get.
Ever.
Ever.
You get married to him, it's only gonna make it more difficult 'cause now you got a contract.
This is so beautiful.
This is like we're in Italy, honey.
It is like in Italy.
It's gorgeous.
Come in! Hey, Kim, this is absolutely gorgeous! Thank you! Do you love it? This is amazing! So a lot has gone on in the past month or so since Miami.
Reggie and I broke up.
And at first it was really tough living your life so public, seeing your relationship play out in all the tabloids.
But now I am over it.
I'm single and I am absolutely loving life.
Since I'm not in a relationship, the one thing I've just been diving into and obsessed with right now is my new house.
Hey, the maceman is here.
What's happening, Buddy? Kim, this looks so amazing.
It's kind of like my relationship.
All my clutches will go there.
Oh, my God, I love the chandelier! I'm like nurturing it and spending a lot of time there and just making sure that everything is perfect.
Masey, look what you left at home! Mr.
Roberto It's my new boyfriend.
This house is stunning.
You guys need to get out of here.
This room is just to look at, not to sit in.
Let's check the backyard out before we get in trouble for sitting on the furniture.
All right, let's go.
There's the path.
Yeah.
This is fantastic.
Do you guys have to wear your heels and stuff on the grass? Actually, you should walk on the grass with your heels 'cause it will aerate the lawn.
Okay, seriously, you're getting crumbs everywhere.
Look at this! So let's not eat anymore in Kim's house.
This'll be fun.
Kourtney! When my whole family comes over, they are nothing but obnoxious.
Fingerprints, fingerprints, people.
Seriously, guys, paws off.
Paws off the window.
Oh, why did you invite us over? I want you to see it.
I said, "look, don't touch.
" Hi.
Hi.
How are you? Good.
How are you? So, basically, I wanted to go back to what you were saying initially in terms of your insecurities and being thrust into this bigger family.
Right.
While Scott and I are kind of working on things, we've been going to therapy twice a week.
I don't know where our relationship stands, but we're both working on it.
I love Scott.
He's Mason's father, and we're both doing our best.
How do you feel about being part of a big family? I mean, is that something that is attractive to you, or is it something that like, "get me out of here"? Yeah, that's not for me.
It's not for you.
Him and my brother used to be close.
Him and my sister Khloe used to be close.
We used to all three live together.
They like despise each other now.
How do you feel about that? How do you deal with it? It's like I have to live two different scenarios.
Right, two separate lives, in essence, with your partner.
Right.
I'd like to know from you, you know, what are your expectations, what are your needs in the relationship? The only thing I want is to be treated like the man that everybody's asking of me.
Once you've broken trust, and you start thinking in your mind, "I want to be a better person, I want to be a better dad," people aren't automatically gonna go, "oh, Scott, that's so great! We're so happy for you.
" You know, they're gonna be really cautious.
That becomes challenging for the two of you.
Hey, Kim.
Hey, mom.
What are you doing? Just organizing.
You still unpacking? Yeah.
Do you know what I realized when I was driving up here? What? I drove by the house that daddy and I used to live in.
And then Bruce and I used to live next door.
I know.
That was our first house.
We rented that house before we-- That's why I knew that this was like meant to be.
We have like the best memories here.
Kim, you have to have like a housewarming party.
I don't want anyone over, never.
Ou have a huge, beautiful new house.
It won't be too beautiful after everyone comes and messes it up.
It's a party-- with adults.
It's not a bunch of teenagers running around.
I know, but like I just don't like people in my space, you know? Kim, I'll make it easy.
I'll do all the planning.
We'll have everybody over.
It'll be fun.
Have some fun once in a while.
Fine.
Okay, but it has to be like normal hours.
I don't want to like piss off my neighbors.
Kim, it's not animal house.
Yes, it is.
All right, I'll do a list.
I'll bring Lisa over.
I'll get the caterer.
We're having cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, that's it.
Everybody out of here by 10:30.
Fine.
All right.
Ooh, think that's the Gate.
Hello.
Khlo, how do I open the Gate? For who? Scott's here to take us to lunch.
I'll just buzz you out when you go out there.
Well, he was going to come help me get out of the house.
I do believe Scott has a lot of negativity around him.
How do I open it? You don't.
Just turn it off speaker.
You're mature.
And since lamar's in the playoffs, and the last thing he needs is negative energy.
Scott is not allowed in my house, point-blank.
He's a negative awful person, so yeah, I don't want him in here.
Khloe is being extremely immature, and won't even let Scott drive on her driveway.
Which only burdens me.
What is Scott going to do in here by helping me out the door? I don't need things to make my life any harder.
Bye, kourt.
Thanks, gem.
You're welcome.
Kourtney is so annoying.
There's red wine here.
I didn't want to have this party, so you need to help me clean up.
This was your bright idea.
Merry maid Kim is like turning into a lunatic.
Why would I want someone like that in my house? Scott just wants to come say good night to his son.
If you want to stay at my house, he can't come there.
There's rules.
Okay, well, I don't need to be living under rules.
Fine, then don't.
Bye-bye.
Hey, what are you doing? I just hate staying in this nasty house.
Why? Because Khloe is so damn immature.
She just needs to worry about herself and lamar and like her own life, and stop putting all this negative energy on mine.
I'm not taking sides.
Like, yeah, Scott pisses me off sometimes, but Scott's the father of your child.
She's got to be understanding and be supportive and she's not.
Mason's the number one priority.
Right, and I'm trying to do what's best for him.
If Scott isn't what's best for him, I'm not going to have him in his life.
Khloe needs to learn that what she's doing isn't fair, especially to her sister.
Right.
I love you.
Love you.
Good night.
Kimmy, it's me.
Kim.
Are you still unpacking? Yes.
I've asked Bruce to come over to help me party-proof my house before my mom gets there, because as soon as she gets there, all my ideas will be thrown out the door.
I rented these things right here, you know, like from a movie theater.
Go ahead.
And I want to put them in front of like the grass area and in front of my-- You mean like nobody can walk on the grass? I know I'm being way over the top, but I need to have some control at some point.
Voilà ! Can we set up the shoe racks? You're actually going to have people take their shoes off when they come to the party? Of course.
Ooh, we got gas.
Aw, oh, oh.
Hello? Hey, mom.
Hey, Kim.
Wait, shoes off.
On the racks, on the racks.
Everyone is not coming to your party in a cocktail dress, Kim, and taking off their shoes.
And Bruce is taking these stupid things out to the garage.
They're not staying here while your guests come in and have barriers so they can't get into your rooms.
It's rude.
I don't want people in there.
There are sprinklers out that side.
They're going to get mud all over my brand-new white carpets.
Kim, you're turning into an old Lady.
Why don't you just put plastic on your couches? Kim, if you're going to own a home, you have to learn how to entertain.
Hello? Hey, khlo.
Where are you? Up here.
Kim, you've got to get ready.
You know what? I'm totally fine.
Me and masey are just chillin'.
Hello.
I'm just hanging out at Kim's.
Yeah, that would be nice.
We'll be at Khloe's after.
Who's that? Scott.
Scott's not coming over.
I'm serious.
Tell him no.
All right, I'll call you when I leave here.
It's my house.
Love you.
Bye.
Why would you care if you're not going to be there? Because it's still my house.
Do you not get it? Why would I want someone like that in my house? I just came before the game-- I wanted to say congrats on your housewarming.
Have fun.
And kourt, he's just not coming over.
So I would call him back.
That doesn't even make sense.
Like why would that affect you in any way? I didn't think this was continuously going to be such an issue.
Just respect that I don't want him over and don't bring him by and try to be Shady.
If you want to stay at my house, he can't come there.
There's rules.
Okay, well, I'm 31.
I don't need to be living under rules.
Fine, then don't.
Bye-bye.
Have fun.
I am so upset with my mom right now.
Here we go! What are you doing? Finishing packing.
Come on, Kourtney.
I'm getting out of Khloe's house.
I don't want some negative person in our home.
Hi! How are you?! So good to see you.
You look gorgeous.
So do you.
My girls are here.
I didn't do it! I didn't do it! Is this your beer? No.
Crumbs, crumbs, crumbs.
There's red wine here.
Stop.
Stop! Merry maid Kim is like turning into a lunatic.
I didn't want to have this party, so you need to help me clean up.
This was your bright idea.
It's embarrassing.
Man 1: I'm already getting drunk.
Man 2: I know, man.
Kim.
What? Rob, all of his friends have shown up And he's not here.
He is at the laker game.
Kick all of his friends out.
I am so upset with my mom right now.
This is exactly what I said i didn't want.
What's going on here? Jesse drafted you to our team.
All you have to do is throw that ball into any cup you want.
Okay.
Sorry, fellas! Here we go! I'm cleaning up, and I notice this huge red wine stain on my couch pillow.
I cannot handle this anymore.
I want everyone to go.
I'm just gonna lock myself in my room because this is just too much anxiety for me.
Kim? Yeah? What are you doing? Trying to clean up.
But the party's still going on.
I know, but my pillow's ruined.
All right, come here.
What? Have a seat.
I've been watching you.
You're not enjoying yourself one bit.
No, and I'm not going down there anymore.
The party's over.
The party is actually just getting started.
No, for me, it's over.
This is my dream home.
Everything about this house is brand-new.
It's exactly what I wanted.
It's perfect.
And if anyone was gonna mess it up, it has to be me.
I I understand.
You know, you built a great house.
You gotta kind of break it in.
A house is to enjoy.
It's about building memories, having a good time.
It's just my house, and how I live is under my control.
So when it gets out of order, I feel like not myself.
You just have to remember that anything that happens, we can fix, you know? The pillow, you know, we can get another pillow.
Pillows are easy, but you can't get other, you know, memories.
It's to live in, you know? Yeah, you're right.
The only person I'm concerned about is your mom.
She's probably down there right now ruining this place.
I need to go get her.
Yeah, let's go get her.
Yeah! Whoo! Okay, I'm going inside.
Love you guys.
I am so proud of you showing off your little cupcake, and I think Kim No! Mommy, no! Really? Really? You don't want to mess with me, bitch! Are people welcome to your new house, Kim?! Everybody, grab a broom.
Everyone, I'm gonna get in the shower, so enjoy yourselves! I wanted to thank you all for coming.
You're all welcome to come any time you want.
Just don't spill anything else.
The cleaning crew's coming.
Come in.
Kourt? Yeah? What are you doing? Just finishing packing.
Where are you going? To Kim's.
Why? Because I don't feel like having this negative energy in my life right now.
Oh, come on, Kourtney.
I'm getting out of Khloe's house.
This isn't the best environment for Mason and I.
So I think that Mason and I living with Kim is the best thing for everyone.
What am I supposed to do if I don't want some negative person in our home? That's not what it's about.
If he needs to see his son, and he can't drive in the driveway to make it easier for me to get my stuff in the car, I don't need the little backhanded comments every second in my ear.
I've tried to manage the situation with Khloe and Scott not getting along, but right now I think I just need to keep them two separate parts in my life.
As hard as that is, I know that it's a lot easier than living with Khloe and trying to manage it.
Bottom line is, I don't want this interfering with our relationship.
I feel like lately our relationship has not been what it is because of Scott, and you know if this is gonna save our relationship, then great.
And I'm married.
I don't need all of my brothers and sisters living in my house with my husband.
And I'm 31 years old.
I don't need to be living somewhere that I have rules.
You know, I could try it out at Kim's and see how it goes.
Khloe well, do you need any help packing? I'm not trying to rush you out, but you know, if you need help, I'm here to help.
I definitely hate to see Mason and Kourtney go.
Let's sleep together tonight.
We're sisters.
I love her with all my heart, but you know, if this is gonna make our relationship better, then maybe that's the best.
Kourtney! Khloe I say we load up the bébé.
I'll bring this and this.
We could make a second trip if need be.
I think we got it all.
Do you have a bellman? Yeah, Robert's the new and improved Bruce.
Mason? Mason? Mason, one day, kid, you're gonna be doing this dance.
Kourtney and I at this point in our lives aren't gonna ever see e-to-eye on this suation.
Call me when you get to Kim's.
Okay.
I just get frustrated 'cause I feel like everything kind of turns back to Scott.
And it's hard and it's sad, especially if she's hang so many problems with Scott.
Like why is she still letting him drive a wedge between us, too? Bye.
Bye, kourt, love ya.
Next on keeping up with the kardashis.
You are the oy single one.
Yeah.
My mom is trying to set me up on a blind date.
I've already talked to the guy on the phone.
Do you get any extra tickets for playoff games? Laker tickets, baby.
Come on.
I never go to any games 'cause you guys always wanna go.
You guys are acting like dogs over meat.