Kim's Convenience (2016) s03e07 Episode Script

Okay, you each get one treat.
Ah, Pastor Nina, you win a big game? Oh, it's T-ball, Mr.
Kim.
Everybody wins.
Ah, because kids get exercise.
And because we don't keep score.
So, how you know which team is better? They both are.
Ah.
But one team must score more than the other team.
Score-keeping is frowned upon.
And you must see who is hitting and catching and scoring.
I see inspired efforts from all children.
But, uh, you know who won.
Everybody has fun.
But, uh you know.
Okay, we crushed them! It was a bloodbath! Everybody knew it.
Oh, oh! It feels so good to say it! We work so hard, and no one is allowed to acknowledge anything! It's crazy.
- Okay, okay! - Oh, Hallelujah, my team won! [KID.]
We did? Hey! We won the game! We won the game.
Yeah.
Winners! Winners! Winners! No, she kidding.
Nobody win.
Everyone lose.
- Winners! Winners! - Put that down.
Yeah.
Stop! No looting.
Stop! You break, you pay.
Yeah.
Yobo! Yobo! [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
Uh, do I swipe or tap? Insert, use PIN.
Ooh.
I have a rhyme to remember it, but nothing to remember the rhyme.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Hi, Appa.
Hi, Frank.
Sorry! Just Just gimme a second.
- [APPA.]
Where's my drill? - What? You take my drill last week, no asking, just stealing.
I didn't steal it.
I borrowed it.
But you never borrow it back.
[JANET.]
Gerald was putting up more photos, so I thought I'd hang on to it.
Not yours to hang on to.
Always treating my thing like it's you thing.
Relax! It's a drill.
[SIGHS.]
This is why I can't lend tool.
Children never learn.
No respect.
Oh, I wouldn't know.
I never had children of my own.
But if I did, I'd love nothing more than to pass my tools on to them.
See the joy on their faces.
I always thought, if I had a daughter, I'd have given her the lathe.
- See, Appa? - [APPA.]
Yeah.
I see you make a grown man sad.
- Oh, I'm not sad.
- You make me sad.
At least, Frank lend me his drill.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr.
Kim, I have a very strict no-lending policy.
I'm sure you understand, given your lending history.
[SIGHS.]
Call Gerald! Tell him bring back drill.
- He's in class all day.
- [APPA.]
Fine.
I get myself.
- Fine.
- [FRANK.]
Oh, here we go.
- Hm.
- You remember PIN? Nope.
But I found my library card.
[SHANNON.]
And you'll need these.
You're gonna do great.
It's a pretty easy presentation.
Cool.
Unless you want me to stay? I can stay.
Don't be silly.
It's your friend's wedding.
Well, Alejandro's ex-roommate, Ronnie.
Apparently, they were supes close.
- Ronnie's a guy? - Still not clear.
But I know that Ronnie's "quite the catch", and Alejandro said he might cry when Ronnie comes down the aisle.
- Totally normal.
- I'll only be gone for the day.
Well, I hope it's a day, there's an escape-room reception.
And I really would stay, but Alejandro's singing at the ceremony Go! You just focus on your not-at-all weird wedding.
Presentation handled.
Hey! You guys talking about the presentaysh? I loved those when I was assistant manager.
If you need any help, I'm here.
Jung was actually really great at working the room.
Slayed it.
Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll make my own impression.
Ooh.
I wouldn't do impressions.
That's a joke.
I actually would do impressions.
They killed.
- [JANET GIGGLES.]
- I got it, thanks.
- Just let me know.
- Just did.
I do a mean Liam Neeson.
I don't see that helping.
Okay, I'm off.
Alejandro wants to get there early to do Ronnie's hair.
- Any questions? - So many.
- About the presentation? - No.
Okay.
[INAUDIBLE.]
Tsk.
Gerald.
[SIGHS.]
No respect.
[SIGHS.]
Whoa! [GRUNTS.]
Water bed.
Oh! [LAUGHING.]
[THUDDING.]
Hello? [OBJECTS CLATTERING.]
[BOTH SCREAM.]
[LAUGHING.]
What you doing? I thought you the burglar.
So you hit me with a broom? Oh, I don't know! [SIGHING.]
Maybe I just a scared little housemaid, huh? Oh.
Well, maybe I just a out-of-town business tycoon.
Looking for some action? [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Yeah? Yeah.
I keep this apartment in city for high-end deal, and, uh high-stake entertainment.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
I go lock door.
Ah, leave it! More dangerous.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Wait.
You ever go sailing on high sea? [BOTH GIGGLING.]
"As you can see, the mid-size are our most popular.
" Are our.
Arr Arr.
Our are.
I'll change it.
[SIGHS.]
Hey, man.
Couldn't help but overhear.
- All the way from the garage? - And it sounds amazing.
How about, like, a joke? "Here at Handy, if you want to rent a Hyundai, that 'Sonata' problem.
" - Yeah.
I'm good.
- I got more.
You can change the words to make them your own, but the wording's pretty solid as is.
Oh, I also came across some old notes from my previous presentations.
I appreciate it, but I got this.
Oh, "but I've got this.
" You have to enunciate.
You mumble too much I've got this! - Okay, but, like, less yelly.
- Jung, stop.
I don't need your advice! Fine.
Just trying to help.
Then do your job and move those cars like I asked! Okay! You don't have to be such a jerk about it.
Apparently, I do.
Well, you're nailing it.
And I can make my own stupid jokes.
"Sonata" problem for me, either! That's the same joke! - Do you have anything smaller? - Nope.
- Um, want a bag? - Nope.
- Nice day out isn't it? - Gorgeous.
Okay.
Oh! Hi, Janet.
Hey.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Oh.
Hello, Umma.
You just getting back from - Shopping.
- [APPA.]
Hmm.
Funny how we both getting home at, uh, different time.
Why are you being so weird? Why is your apartment so messy? You were at my apartment? To get drill.
Where is it? Janet, if I bring my drill back for you, how you learn respect other people's thing, hm? - [UMMA.]
Hm.
- So, I go, look at drill, make sure drill is okay.
But it's you job to bring back.
Wouldn't it be easier if you brought it back yourself? Why should I do your work? I not you maid.
Or out-of-town business tycoon.
We go upstair.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
I was trying to park them alphabetically.
It's fine.
Just walk away from the cars.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[KIMCHEE.]
Ah! [GROANING.]
- What happened? - My foot! You ran over my foot.
Kimch, I'm so sorry! I I never saw you.
You, in the blue shirt, call 911! Tell them we have an injured person and report back to me.
Wait.
I don't need an ambulance.
I just need Terence to drive me to the hospital.
- I'll do it.
- No! I need you to do the presentation.
I am so sorry.
I didn't see you.
I never would have backed up.
It's fine.
It's an accident.
Just go.
You, in the blue shirt, let's get him in the car.
Let's get him in a different car.
Think your sock got mixed up in my laundry.
Oh.
That's not mine.
Well, Chelsea's in the Bahamas, and I only wear sockettes.
Unless I'm outside.
We're in a "hot zone" for ticks.
- What are you eating? - Kimbap.
I think your mom dropped some off.
- Wait, where was it? - In the fridge.
No, the sock.
Oh.
Twisted up in my duvet covers.
- It's kind of big.
- Oh, my God! - It's mine.
- You sure? Yep.
I'll just take it.
Why are you holding it like that? Because it's dirty.
I should throw it out.
Or burn it.
Just kidding.
I won't burn it because it's my sock.
That would be weird.
And if it was in the laundry, that means it's clean.
Right.
But how clean is the laundry? Maybe we should wash it again, to be safe.
Um, anything you want to throw in? Your sheets and pillow cases? I'm good.
And hot.
[CHUCKLES.]
Which is why I don't believe in the humidex or the wind chill.
.
Temperature is temperature.
Everything else is just media spin.
So, that's why you wearing sweater? Oh! I am so hot.
Morning, Janet.
- Hi, Mr.
Chin.
- [MR.
CHIN.]
Ah, Janet! Now that's a sensible outfit.
[JANET.]
You know, I thought about what you said about using people's things without their permission? And you were right.
Yeah, I know.
Next time, I'll ask before I take something.
See? You learning.
[MR.
CHIN.]
Takes a big person to admit they were wrong.
Or uncomfortably warm.
I believe this also belongs to you.
But I didn't take it.
Gerald found it in his bed.
Yeah? Okay.
Thank you.
Why would you take your sock off in Gerald's bed, Appa? What? It's a crime to walk barefoot? No.
But how did your sock get into Gerald's duvet cover? I can think of several explanations.
Maybe Gerald has a sock fetish.
Or maybe Gerald had a piece of double-sided tape stuck to his own sock, then picked up your father's sock without knowing.
[JANET.]
Okay, technically, those are possibilities, but I think something else might have happened.
What, Janet? Um It's just You and Umma Janet! You think I and your Umma? How you can even think thing like that? It just seemed very odd.
We is you parent, Janet! See? No respect.
Sorry.
[MR.
CHIN.]
I have a third theory, but it would require me to take off this sweater.
[KIMCHEE.]
I'll just print your receipts.
Great.
Oh.
Forgot to choose the printer.
Looking for printers I don't think the power's on.
Oh! You know what? I don't need a receipt.
- [KIMCHEE.]
Ah! We'll email it to you.
- [WOMAN.]
Sure.
Poor guy.
- I guess you heard, huh? - Yeah.
My phone was blowing up at the wedding.
Right in the middle of Alejandro's song.
[JUNG.]
Hey, just out of curiosity, what exactly did you hear? Oh, everything until the chorus, then he just completely lost it.
I meant about Kimchee.
Oh.
I heard that you kept pressuring him to let you help with the presentation, he kept saying no, got mad at you, then you ran over his foot with a car.
Then you did the presentation, it went super-well, and now Kimchee has a badly sprained ankle.
I also moved a bunch of cars, but, yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Jung, I know you, but to anyone else it would sound so much like you sabotaged Kimchee and stole his moment, but I know you didn't.
- Did you? - No! I would never.
- Right? - Right.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hal-Abeoji, so dusty.
Oh! That's just your face.
- [APPA.]
Yobo.
- Want some tea? - Janet know what we doing.
- What? Gerald find my sock in water bed.
Why you take off sock in first place? Oh, I can't do with sock on.
No traction.
- What you tell her? - Nothing.
Then, no problem.
We stop doing.
Yeah.
Too dangerous.
Yeah.
Somebody might catch us.
[APPA.]
Big wave coming in! [UMMA.]
Oh, no! Must be high tide.
[APPA.]
Oh! [LAUGHS.]
- Oh.
- What? You have "accident"? No.
Oh! - You have "accident"? - No.
- Ooh.
- Oh! - Look like bed have accident! - Oh! - [GROANS.]
- Yeah.
Still have time! But have to hurry, huh? No, Yobo, no! Have to fix.
- Oh! - Have to fix! It looks great in here.
Yeah, I cleaned.
Scrubbed the shelves, threw out the old food.
I brought those muffins this morning.
Yeah, but they were kind of fatty.
Hey, you think I'm a good guy, right? Well, not about the muffins, but, yeah.
It's just so weird, the accident.
I mean, I was checking the mirrors and everything, but it's like Kimchee came out of nowhere.
- Huh.
- What? No, nothing.
I'm just clearing my throat, but, huh! - You think he was faking it? - Oh, yeah.
I used to work for an insurance adjuster, and this happened all the time.
No.
I can't believe that Kimchee would hurt himself on purpose.
Maybe, he wasn't hurt at all.
It's an old worker's comp scam.
The doctor seemed reluctant to give him an air cast.
He wouldn't do that to me.
Just like you'd never hit him with a car.
Or throw away my muffins.
So, how would you expose the frauds? You'd catch them in the act.
I found the tray, but there's no muffins.
Huh.
That's weird.
Is it? [CHUCKLES.]
It is, isn't it? [APPA.]
So much water! So many sockette.
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
- [GERALD WHISTLING.]
What do we do? Get out of here, you raccoon! Crazy raccoon! Get out of here! Ooh! What's going on? Crazy raccoon come in, make hole in your bed, and then run away.
Yeah.
Yeah! [UMMA.]
Yeah.
We try to stop leak.
What are you guys doing here? Uh, came to get drill.
But Janet returned it to you.
Yeah.
But, uh, some pieces missing.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Okay, well.
Have a good day.
[UMMA.]
Okay! Uh, leftover in fridge.
Uh.
Um [PHONE RINGS.]
Aw.
Sorry about your foot.
Yeah, what are you gonna do? I can't believe he would do this.
He isn't even using the crutches.
Looks like you just need a manager's signature, which, as a manager, I happen to be amazing at.
[EMPLOYEE CHUCKLES.]
Did you see that? He just put weight on his foot and he didn't even flinch.
What else is he lying about? Let's find out.
Hey, Kimch.
Again, so sorry.
Ah.
Don't worry man.
I'll be fine.
- [GROANS.]
- Aw.
I thought it was getting better? Yeah.
It flares up when I'm tired, or talk about it too much.
You're brave, dude.
Well, I should go.
Time to feed the file monster.
- Here! Let me get your crutches.
- Thanks.
- It's just one thing - What's that? - I don't think you need them.
- [KIMCHEE GASPS.]
[GROANS.]
What are you doing? Terence said he was faking.
He used to be an insurance adjuster.
For like a week.
I got fired.
I was terrible at it.
- I think my elbow's broken.
- Oh! You, in the floral dress, call 911! - It's Shannon, you can say Shannon.
- [KIMCHEE GROANS.]
Guys, I think he's seriously hurt.
Melissa, we need a mid-size SUV, stat! - Uh, that's not my name.
- I said stat! [GROANING.]
[HORNS HONKING.]
[STREETCAR BELL DINGING.]
You want to return it? Yeah.
It's not what I thought it was.
Okay.
[CASH REGISTER DINGS.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
- Oh, hi, Janet.
- [JANET.]
Hi.
Oh! Hm.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- [APPA CLEARS THROAT.]
Oh, hi, Appa.
I thought you was home.
No.
But, uh, yeah.
'Cause I am.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[WHISPERS.]
Don't look at card.
I'm looking at card.
[WHISPERS.]
Just be cool.
You're not fooling anyone.
What? You did the same staggered entrance yesterday.
Not same.
This time I come first.
Okay.
Good night.
[APPA CLEARS THROAT.]
[JANET.]
Stop.
I heard from Gerald.
About the "raccoons".
Yeah.
We just fine.
No scratch.
Thank you.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I know what you were really doing.
Oh, yeah, Janet? Well, if you know what we doing, why don't you just say You were having sex in Gerald's water bed.
Sit.
- I don't want to - Sit! You, too! After you tormented me about respect and personal property, you do this? What were you thinking? - I don't know.
- Because you weren't thinking.
So, here's what's going to happen.
First, it's never going to happen again.
- Well, not there, anyway - Second, I'm not going to make you apologize to Gerald because at least someone should get to enjoy not picturing it every time they close their eyes.
And you are going to buy Gerald new sheets.
And a new duvet.
And a new water bed.
What? No fair.
Where are we going to find a water bed? It's not 1989, Janet.
Yeah.
Welcome to future, Janet.
If there is only one water bed left on earth, you will find it and buy it for Gerald! Now hand over the keys, and we will never speak of this again.
[APPA SIGHS.]
You know, it's funny when you think about, whole time, I try to teach you about respect.
But, in a lots of way, it turns out you teach me ab - You're not keeping the keys.
- Aeeshcham.
Hey, buddy.
You home? Finished all your work for you.
Not as good as you would have.
I made some mistakes.
On purpose.
[KEYS CLATTER.]
[SIGHS.]
[KIMCHEE URINATING.]
[SWITCH FLICKS.]
Oh.
Hey, Jung.
So, I watched you walk from your room, to the bathroom, didn't flush, didn't wash your hands, then you walked back.
What part of that offends you the most? Probably the part where it seemed like you were walking really well.
Fine.
I faked it.
- I knew it! - But I really did hurt my arm! That's 'cause you faked hurting your leg.
- [SIGHS.]
Sorry, man.
- I just don't get it.
I don't know.
People look at you, and they're like, "Yeah, okay, definitely.
" And they look at me and they're like, "Okay, maybe, I don't know.
" - That's not true.
- Yeah, it is.
Definitely.
- Okay.
Maybe.
- See? Like that.
Look, I know I'm good at, like, 90% of my job.
But I hate presentations.
And with you going on and on about how much you killed it last year Slayed it.
But yeah.
Took the easy way out.
I don't know how easy it was, but, I get it.
I shouldn't have left such big shoes for you to fill.
I'm just happy you're not hurt.
I am.
You sprained my elbow.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Me, too.
Did you at least rinse your hands? Don't ruin this moment.
Super generous of your parents to give me all this stuff.
I was just going to use duct tape.
Well, they did scare the raccoons.
Yeah.
The raccoons.
That's weird, right? That the raccoons just snuck into my room and messed around on my bed.
You know, I hear their hands are actually a lot like human hands.
Okay, Gerald, my parents had sex in your bed! - What? - Isn't that what you were getting at? No.
Not, like, at all.
- Oh.
- But I guess that makes sense, right? Because everybody needs to shake things up once in a while.
Actually, Chelsea doesn't love the water bed, so, sometimes, while you're away, we use A hotel? Please say a hotel.
I wish that's what I was about to say.
I'll be taking these.
It's really not that often.
[STUTTERS.]
Like, just when she forgets her Gravol, basically I don't want to know! Oh.
Hey! Your other sock.