Las Vegas s04e10 Episode Script
Fleeting Cheating Meeting
Hey, did Ed just ask you to meet him at the front desk? Yeah.
You too? Yeah.
What's up? Hey, sweetie.
Hey.
Meeting Ed at the front desk? Mmm-hmm.
So you want all of us to welcome back this Nicole who used to work here? First of all, it's not "this" Nicole.
I don't refer to you as this Mike Cannon, do I? Well, it's just that I don't know her.
I know her.
I hired her right out of high school.
Her old man wasn't around so I kind of, you know, became her dad.
Anyway, she ran off and got married this last year.
And this weekend is my first-anniversary gift to her.
Right out of high school? Don't you have to be 21 to work here? Why don't you just report me? Hey, I just want to make sure I'm up to date on the regs.
Nicole? That ring any bells? You guys know her? No.
I know her.
Daddy introduced me after he sort of took her under his wing.
She's cute, worked in the coffee shop.
Danny, you must know her.
Yeah, a little.
Hey, Steve.
Hi, Steve.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey, everyone.
What good fortune.
All of my landlords together in one place.
Wow.
This is harder than I thought it would be.
What is it, Steve? Steve and I won't be renewing our lease next month.
I got an offer from the new Wynn Casino in Macau.
And it was such a fabulous opportunity I just couldn't turn it down.
But we love you all.
And we loved living in your home.
All the best to you.
Take care, my man.
There you go.
There you go.
There you go.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I better get to work.
Now I have to find a new tenant.
You know what a hassle that was? Hey! You remember everyone? Nicole.
Hi.
How are you? Married.
Wow.
I heard.
When everyone heard you were coming here, they insisted on a welcoming committee.
Aw.
Hi.
Hey, Nicole.
This is my husband, Ollie.
Hey.
Hey.
We really appreciate this.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Hey, forget about all that.
Ollie, here's your key.
Go start having a good time, all right? Thank you.
All right then.
Danny, Mike.
My office, 10 minutes.
This is your fault.
This Ollie guy, I want you to watch him.
Last name Querim.
Okay.
Why? I don't like him and I don't trust him.
You just met him.
What kind of name is Ollie for a grown man? A very suspicious one.
I'll run a background check? Yeah, I did.
He's clean.
But, you know, he's up to something and I don't want him hurting Nicole.
Well, what is he up to? I don't know.
But I'm an excellent judge of character and his is bad.
And I'm also the guy that signs your paycheck.
We'll be watching him like a hawk, sir.
Good.
Check the front desk at about 3:00 this afternoon.
Get an image of an Ollie Querim checking in then VideolQ him.
Got it.
I don't know why Ed's so into this Nicole.
I mean, I know her and she's all right, but do you believe all that "excellent judge of character" stuff? Yes, I do.
The girl's back is to the camera so you can't really see who she is.
It ain't Nicole.
That's pretty obvious.
But she does look familiar.
I think we should tell Ed.
I think that when Ed said he wanted us to watch him, he meant to watch for something a little more serious than making out with some chick in the elevator.
No.
Nicole is like Ed's daughter.
So his daughter's newlywed husband is cheating on her.
Where did you go to school, MIT or Uptight University? Twenty-two seconds of kissing in an elevator, is that cheating? I don't know.
Maybe.
First of all, they go up, then go back down and we don't know what happens after they leave.
And second, I think most people would consider this cheating.
I agree.
But a lot of people come to Vegas so they can do that kind of stuff and get away with it.
Is this Ollie cat your boy? How come you got his back like this? I'm just saying if we start keeping video files on every dude that has a little fun in the elevator Wait, let's cut to the chase.
If we don't tell Ed and Ed finds out we didn't tell him, he's going to can our asses.
I'm not calling him at 2:00 a.
m.
for this.
First thing in the morning, and you better be here.
You better be here.
Yeah.
I'll be here.
Please bring Mr.
Querim to my office.
And what are you going to do? Convey my disappointment.
Convey verbally or otherwise? I know that sometimes, you know, guys come to Vegas and this sort of stuff happens.
Yeah.
That's exactly what I said.
And if that's all it was, then, I don't know, maybe it's none of our business, you know? Point taken.
So, would you guys please find this young fellow and bring him up here before I find him and gouge out his eyeballs.
So, tell me everything, Ollie, life in Fresno, married life Where do I start? Well, Fresno isn't Vegas.
That's for sure.
But that's where Ollie's business is.
They make TV stands.
Except now with all the flat screens, the stands are changing and so the company's been having some trouble.
Lot of trouble.
So, we sort of had to cut back.
You know, no more new clothes, no manicures, no dinners out.
Oh, well, I'm sure business will turn around.
You know, it just seems like everything changed once we got married.
The money, his personality, the money.
Everything's so tense now.
Well, now, you know every marriage has its rough patches.
Yeah.
You know, I don't have any proof, but I kind of have a hunch that Ollie's cheated on me.
You're kidding.
I'm sorry.
Oh, enough about my stupid problems.
How are you? Well, the job's good and Danny and I are living together, and it's going so great.
Oh, he's such a great guy.
Isn't he? No wonder he dumped me.
I didn't know you two Oh, yeah.
Right when I moved from housekeeping to the coffee shop.
It was pretty hot and heavy there for a few months.
But, I don't know, I guess he just got sick of me.
No.
I'm sure that wasn't it.
But this is fun.
Fun.
Cheers.
Cheers.
This is fun.
Yeah.
So fun.
Learn something new every day.
Yeah.
I know the OK Go concert's sold out, but I need tickets.
Yeah? My whale, Mr.
Slocum's in town and he's a big fan.
Oh, yeah? Actually, Delinda told me that Nicole's a huge fan, too.
So I've arranged a private meeting in her suite.
They're going to show her how to do that whole skating on the treadmills thing.
Oh, the treadmill thing? From their video.
When are they going to do that? Tomorrow, 1:00.
Interesting.
Delinda's with Nicole so Ollie is probably alone.
Unless he's with his elevator buddy.
I'll call upstairs, have them do a VideolQ.
Hey, Steve.
Heard about the big move.
Congratulations.
Is that your attempt at some sort of cruel humor? You don't want to go to Macau? I wasn't invited.
Yes, it's true.
Steve has cast me away like so much rancid milk.
I'm sorry.
You guys always seemed like you got along pretty well.
He's the most stubborn man I've ever met.
He refuses to accept how much we need each other.
And what about our Disneyana collection? We built that collection together.
How can he bear to see that torn asunder? How can you divide up seven dwarves? Talk to him.
He respects you.
You know, I don't think that's such a good idea.
I think that's something You guys need to work that out amongst yourselves.
Listen, Steve, we are sort of on our way to a meeting.
So So, your allegiance is with the stubborn one.
That's not what we said, Steve.
I should have known.
Aw Here we go.
Hey, Ollie, how's it going? Great.
We're having a wonderful time.
Ed was wondering if he could have a word with you up in his office? About what? Oh, I don't know, maybe how thrilled he is to be comping your weekend.
Here you are.
You can take that with you.
I would love to, but I have a golf lesson at 3:00.
My short game's You're going to have to reschedule.
Come here.
Take him up.
I got to go check on something.
All right.
You know, Ollie, just a little while ago I was telling Danny and Mike what an excellent judge of character I was.
How long ago did I say that? Just a little while ago.
Well, I'll tell you how we happened to be discussing that particular subject.
We were discussing it because I commented on how very much I dislike you.
You know, we don't even know each other Mr.
Deline Shut up.
We don't know each other, and yet this dislike, this animosity, this firm belief that you're a complete jerk was almost instantaneous.
Look at this.
You've proven me right.
It's a gift, Mr.
D.
Do I get to say anything? After I tell you what's going to happen.
I'm going to give you one more chance.
Just one.
Say thank you.
From this moment forward, you will not even so much as think of another woman.
You will be the kindest, most generous, most adoring husband in the world.
Now, if I should hear otherwise You don't want that.
A man, a large man, will visit you at your home.
He will not knock You kind of understand what I'm saying here? Fine.
All right, so what do you have to say for yourself? Mr.
Deline, you don't have to worry.
This will never happen again.
I adore Nicole.
She is the love of my life.
This It only happened because I was really drunk.
And I decided to go down to the casino after Nicole went to bed, and I got even more drunk.
And then when I was in the elevator going back up to the room, this woman gets on and she pretty much attacked me.
Now, I know that's not an excuse for what happened, but I think that most guys would have done the same thing in the same situation.
Then why didn't you get off and go back to your own room? Why did you ride back down with her and leave the casino? She was wearing a lot of perfume, like a stripper.
So I thought if I went outside and walked around, it would wear off.
You're familiar with the fragrance of strippers? Look, that's what happened.
You either believe me or you don't.
But I don't have to put up with this.
Paying for our room doesn't give you the right to interrogate or threaten me.
Remember what I said.
Keep watching him.
On and off property.
Off property? You mean tail him 24 hours a day? No, of course not.
You and Danny split it up.
Hey.
Hey.
Where are you going? To plant a homing device on Ollie.
He says the woman in the elevator was making all the moves and he won't do it again, but Ed's not buying it.
I do.
I looked at the surveillance tapes again.
Yeah? I did some checking and I think that that girl in the elevator's Pomona.
Who's Pomona? A stripper at the Hippo.
And a major-league scammer.
Oh, yeah.
Ollie said she was wearing that stripper-type perfume.
Well, I've had a few run-ins with her.
She once offered me a three-way if I let her go.
Huh.
What did you do? Danny? This is such a huge waste of time.
Even if he did make the moves with Pomona, we're not marriage counselors.
I hate to say it, but I agree with you.
And if Nicole married a douchebag, maybe she deserved it.
Wow.
My man's been drinking some Hater-ade.
This is Danny.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
I understand.
It's white Steve.
Yeah, he seemed a little upset when we talked to him, too.
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Steve says Steve's acting a little psycho.
How so? White Steve's moving out tonight and asked if we would sign off on their upgrade so he can get back his half of the security deposit.
Well, maybe I'll go out there with Delinda later.
Well, go ahead.
I'll take care of this.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Thank you.
So, we have to keep watching Ollie.
Frankly, I think your dad's gone a little overboard.
You haven't asked me about my lunch with Nicole.
Well, would you be offended if I said I wasn't that interested? So, how was your lunch with Nicole? Nice.
Good.
One interesting thing came up though.
She said that you two were quite an item for a while.
Hardly an item.
Right.
So it was just the sex? We went out a few times and that was more than enough.
But when you knew that she was coming back here and that she and I were friends and that you two had slept together and that now we're living together, you didn't think that was a coincidence worth mentioning? You want me to tell you about every girl that I've had sex with? You say that like there were hundreds.
Isn't that where we turn? Oh, my God! Yes.
I burned it down and I'm glad I did.
Maybe now Steve will realize eternal love cannot be erased with a plane ticket.
I understand.
Okay.
I'll talk to you later.
Well Bye.
The phrase "completely and totally screwed" springs to mind.
Not necessarily.
I spoke with the insurance agent and once you fill out all the paperwork and they verify everything, and the arson charges are finalized, they'll come up with a reimbursement schedule.
You lost me at paperwork.
They're probably going to nickel-and-dime us.
Not to mention the hassle of getting a place designed, building permits, construction Hey, well, I suppose we could try to negotiate for a cash settlement.
Settle for lot value.
Cash? No rebuilding? I'm in.
Hands in the middle.
Come on.
Settlement on three.
One, two, three.
Settlement! Hey.
Hey.
We put our hands in.
Yeah, yeah! Hey, guys.
Hey.
Danny, why didn't you tell me you and Delinda were living together? Sometimes he keeps things to himself.
Well, I already told her how great I think it is.
And I would love it if we could all get together for drinks later.
You know, you guys and me and Ollie.
I have some stuff to do.
Maybe later? Oh, yeah, no, it would have to be later because Ollie's playing golf, and I'm going to run to the spa.
Well, then we'll get back to you.
Good.
Not.
You don't have to pretend you don't like her.
I'm not pretending.
You don't understand, that woman is completely nuts.
Should I come back? No, we're fine.
Did Nicole just say Ollie was playing golf? Yeah.
Well, unless there's a fairway on the I-15 and his golf cart is doing 65, he lying.
Now he's in Henderson.
Maybe he's playing some golf out at Black Mountain.
Denise, punch up the coordinates and give me the satellite image, please.
The owner's listed as a Felix T.
Katt.
I think we should head out there.
Look, you already admitted that this is a waste of time.
It may be a waste of time, Danny, but a good surveillance man gives his all on every job.
Good luck.
Hey, guys.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm Sam.
I came to take you to your little get-together.
Mary said to meet her in the suite.
Oh.
Yeah, well, there's been a little change of plans.
Does Mary know? She'll figure it out.
Follow me.
Your car looks good.
Yeah.
They did a nice job.
So, what was all that "don't pretend you don't like her" stuff with Delinda? She just found out about that thing that Nicole and I had a few years ago.
Actually, Nicole told her.
Do you believe that? Wait a minute, you and Nicole? Yeah.
I didn't tell you about that? No, my brother, you did not.
Yeah.
It was just a few months after she started working in the coffee shop.
She looks like she'd be kind of feisty.
Very feisty.
Oh! Very feisty.
Yeah, but she's a liar and she's bad news.
Oh! She broke your heart, huh? She did not break my heart.
I didn't tell you about this? No.
Okay, she tells me she's pregnant and that she thinks maybe we should think about getting married.
So, you know, naturally I'm freaking out, especially because I didn't think that she was pregnant, and I always glove up, so, you know, I said maybe we should come up with some other plan.
And sure enough, she takes another test and what do you know, not pregnant.
Well, maybe her first test was false positive.
That can happen.
No, I'm telling you, dude, this girl's bad news.
Bad news.
Hey, Ollie just left Henderson.
You think we should follow him or see where he was? No, we can always find him.
Let's see what's doing at the Felix T.
Katt residence.
What a surprise.
Hi, Danny.
You know each other? Mike, meet Pomona.
I swear.
I'm not scamming anyone.
I met him at the Montecito, and we just had a little bit of fun.
Hi, this is Crystal.
If you want to party with me, just leave your name I didn't even know he was married.
And he said his name was George, not Ollie.
He said he wanted to see me again, so I gave him my number.
Hmm.
He just came by to see you? Yes.
You or Crystal? Look, I don't know who this guy is or what he's done, but he's definitely not worth all this trouble.
So, if we could just sort of consider this case closed, I'd really be grateful.
Like, so grateful.
Not only is the guy cheating, he's cheating on her with a prostitute.
Is that better or worse? Come on, man.
You don't feel for Nicole at all? Her husband's talking about how much he loves and adores her, and six hours after they arrive in Las Vegas, he's hooking up with a pro.
Yeah, but not a bad-looking pro, right? As pros go, maybe.
So, if you had been there by yourself, you think you would have sampled some of that gratitude? Come on, Danny, I thought you knew me better.
Mike Cannon doesn't go where the multitudes have gone before.
Yeah, since when? Yeah? So, he just left his broad he swore he'd never see again? Honey, do me a favor.
Find that Ollie Querim, would you? Mmm-hmm.
Listen, hey, Danny, when you get back, stay in the car in case this bum tries to leave.
Mike will go with me.
I found him.
I mean cheating is one thing.
Lying to me, that's another.
Denise says he's here in the sports book.
There he is.
Yo! Hey, Ollie.
I've been looking all over for you.
We need to talk privately.
About Pomona? Yes.
She's blackmailing me.
You know you lied to me once.
If you think you're going to do it again I swear.
I'm not lying.
So, after that little slip-up in the elevator, Pomona calls and says she knows I'm married and if I don't pay her $100,000, she will tell Nicole.
So, after a couple of pecks on the cheek, she's blackmailing you.
She says that she's going to tell Nicole that we did more.
Which of course you did not do.
And she says that she knows someone in the Montecito surveillance department and she could get the video from the elevator.
Why didn't you call the police? Well, because then they'd want to know how I knew her.
And you'd have to show them the surveillance tape.
And I don't want Nicole to know about this.
I was wrong! But I assume that you have a girlfriend or a wife.
You understand.
So, if she's blackmailing you, what the hell were you doing at her house an hour ago? Yeah, yeah, we do know about that.
I was delivering half of the money.
I cleaned out our bank account.
You don't believe me? Here's a withdrawal slip.
Call the bank.
Check my account.
So, what do you want from us? A loan.
Hmm? For the other 50,000.
I will pay you back.
I swear.
But please, she only gave me until noon tomorrow.
I got a question.
Why would we be inclined to help you? Because you know how special Nicole is and how desperate I am not to lose her.
She's special.
Yes.
Oh! Oh! Hey, hey.
I think you're lying.
Go with me.
I'll wear a wire.
You'll see I'm telling the truth.
Please.
Okay, look.
I'm going to do you a favor.
I'm going to think about it.
I'm really sorry about this whole misunderstanding.
They were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago.
Don't worry about it.
Ollie's late, too.
One second.
Okay.
Hey, Damian, it's Mary.
I just wanted to make sure we're still on for our little get-together? Oh, you're in Mr.
Slocum's suite? I thought you knew.
Sam said I can imagine what Sam said.
May I speak with Sam? Okay.
Sam, it's Mary.
Uh I'll call her back.
She'll have to call you back.
Sure she will.
Slight change of plans.
We are gonna go meet OK Go in a different suite.
Oh.
Yeah.
Bring your snacks.
Okay.
Come on.
MIKE: He could be using the blackmail as an excuse so that if we told Nicole, he could say it was all a setup by Pomona.
Or by you, since you hate him.
I don't hate him.
I mean, I dislike him and I think Nicole deserves better.
So, maybe, you know, it's an intense dislike.
Mmm.
So, what about this Pomona? Does someone in surveillance really know her? I do.
Oh, what a shocker.
I busted her last year.
That's how I know her.
Anyway, is she the kind of person that would pull this thing off? Yeah.
Yeah, she is.
Damn it.
Well, I guess before I break up their marriage, we'll check it out, huh? Whoo! Oh, hey, Mary.
Hi, Nicole.
Hey, fellas.
Hey.
Hey, Mary.
You remember Mr.
Slocum? DAMIAN: It's like five, six, seven, eight That's my favorite thing.
See that? It's not as easy as it looks.
Oh, it isn't? Hi, Nicole.
You're an OK Go fan, right? Are you kidding? I'm completely obsessed with you guys.
Come down here.
These boys are going to show you how to do this.
Seriously? Come on down.
Yeah, come on, Nicole.
Lace up your skates.
Could you? Sorry.
No.
Okay.
This isn't over.
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? Sure.
Yeah.
You know, I've been meaning to buy one of those little $8 packets of aspirin in the gift shop.
Meet you in the car.
Where are you guys going? To talk to a stripper who made out with Ollie in the elevator who may or may not be blackmailing him.
Oh.
Listen, I owe you an apology.
Apology accepted.
For what? I shouldn't have been so bent out of shape about you keeping the Nicole thing to yourself.
It's all right.
I mean, I haven't told you about every sexual liaison I've had.
And I don't need to know.
That's true.
But wouldn't it make our relationship stronger if you did know? And I knew about yours? This is a list of every guy I've had sex with, or if I don't remember his name, location and approximate date.
When you complete your list, we'll swap.
I think that's a really bad idea.
But if that's what you want You realize I am going to get a severe case of writer's cramp? No great rush.
We'll exchange next weekend, yeah? Okay.
Okay.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, and I have an idea, too.
You know how we've been talking about moving? Yeah.
Why don't we buy out Sam and Mike and Mary's shares of the burned down house? That way, we can build a house exactly the way we want.
Our dream house.
I think so.
I like it.
And I love you.
I love you, too.
Oh, uh Okay.
Yeah.
Hey, Pomona's working at the Hippo tonight so we can pay her a visit.
Just give me a minute here.
What's that? I'm writing out a list of all the girls that I've been with.
Delinda seems to think that it will strengthen our relationship.
Son, I think it's time you and I have a talk.
I know it's stupid, but for whatever reason I agreed to do it, so There.
Done.
That's it? Yeah.
Nice move.
What are you talking about? Come on, that low-balling? With a list that small, she might even top you.
Almost makes you look innocent.
I got no hidden agenda.
That's the list.
Come on now.
This is Mike you're talking to.
That's the list.
That's the list.
As far as she knows, that's the list.
All right, I can roll with that.
That's the list.
Hey, you guys looking for a What a surprise.
Let's go.
Okay.
Blackmail? Are you kidding? I wouldn't last five minutes in this business if I ratted out every married man I'd been with.
If I ratted out one! So Ollie didn't give you any money? Okay.
Ah.
He gave me $1,800 to get my car fixed.
Oh, so that's what they're calling it now? Getting your car fixed? Look, if I really wanted to blackmail someone, why would I give my real name, huh? MIKE: I don't know.
Why would I let him know where I live? Woman's got a point.
Really.
I've seen it a million times.
The guy starts to feel guilty so he cooks up some story to cover his ass.
Okay.
He's lying.
Let's tell Ed so we can get back to our real jobs.
Remember the multitudes have been there.
That was the old Mike.
New Mike's seen the light.
That a boy.
So, here's the bottom line.
We think you're lying.
So I don't think you went out to that stripper's house to pay ransom.
You went out there voluntarily to get laid.
So, either you tell Nicole about this and try to save your sorry ass, which, by the way, you know, good luck Or I'm gonna tell her.
So you got 24 hours.
Nicole always talked about how compassionate and understanding you were.
So I thought you might want to help.
But she was obviously talking about someone else.
Ooh, ouch.
That hurt.
Now, you get the hell out of my office.
So, basically, since Dee and I were thinking about buying a house anyway, we thought maybe we'd just build one here.
Assuming none of you object.
How much money would we get? We have to sign all these papers.
We just signed a bunch of papers.
I give up.
They win.
How much money would we get from you and Delinda? Mike's been talking to the insurance guy And a few realtors to get an estimate of the lot value.
I added lot value to the settlement the insurance company offered us How much money? And I figured each of our shares would be worth about 80,000.
That's 30 grand more than we paid.
Right.
So, instead of getting money from the insurance company and from selling the lot Which could take a while.
We could just pay each of you now and we'd own the property.
I'm down with that.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I guess that's cool.
All right.
Bring it in.
I'm just kidding.
That went well.
It's a great deal for them.
They get their money back right away.
Speaking of money, I think you might be right about Nicole.
What do you mean? She might be a more shallow person than I thought.
I guess Ollie's business isn't doing so great, and twice now she's told me that having less money and having to cut back is ruining her life.
She even said she might divorce him.
He's no prize, but When did she say this? Right when she got here.
A strong marriage needs to be able to weather the rough patches.
I'll see you at home.
Hey, you finish your sex list yet? Delinda tell you everything? Want some advice? No.
Between four and seven, that's what she wants to see.
And no one she knows.
Oops, I forgot about Nicole.
So she told you about that, too? It's not exactly a state secret.
She's not that hot, by the way.
Let me know how it goes.
Yeah.
Okay Oh You don't have to.
I'll find out.
Denise, I want you to VideolQ Nicole Querim and call me as soon as she's alone.
Oh, she just called looking for you.
She left her cell number.
Okay.
Tell her to meet me at Wolfgang Puck's in an hour.
Hey, Mike, you got any more of those little homing chips? Yeah.
Why? Did I ever tell you that I'm an excellent judge of character? Hey, Nicole.
Hey.
Thanks for meeting me.
Of course.
Listen.
I just wanted to apologize for mentioning to Delinda our little fling.
No, no, it was really uncool of me.
I should have realized that No, don't worry about it.
It's not a problem.
Really? Yeah.
Really.
So, we're still friends? Yes.
Of course.
Okay.
I don't think I slept a wink.
Was I snoring again? No.
I just kept thinking about all the things I've always wanted in a house, and how now that we're building our own, I get to have them.
Thank you for doing this.
Oh, what kind of things? Well, like, his and hers bathrooms, a center island kitchen with a bread warmer, wine cooler, walk-in pantry We don't cook.
And, of course, his and hers closets.
Hers being four times the size of the one we have now.
And I want a bidet.
Bidet? What about what I want? We'll do what you want, too.
You know, as long as it's not one of those tacky home theater rooms with a wet bar and hideous recliners.
That I'd have to veto.
You know, honey, I think that it would be great if we could both have everything we wanted, but, you know, extra bathrooms and bread warmers and huge closets aren't just expensive, but they also take up a lot of space.
Space that we're probably not going to have.
You want a home theater? I think a home theater would be a good use of an already existing second bedroom.
Who says we need a second bedroom? First of all, I don't think a 60-inch LCD with surround sound is a home theater.
These days, that's just a television.
Baby, I'm not trying to be unreasonable.
But you are being unreasonable.
Okay, how about this? You lose the home theater and I'll lose the bidet? Yeah, but you can watch your Hugh Grant movies.
You can wash your feet in the bidet.
I'm starting to think that this whole home building thing wasn't such a great idea.
It only cost me 20 bucks.
What are you talking about? That's what I paid Jerry, the valet, to clean up my car.
So that little practical joke you played on me only cost me $20.
Bargain.
Well, I had to do it.
Otherwise, Slocum was threatening to take his $500,000-a-weekend gambling habit to the Venetian.
Anyway, Nicole got to see OK Go, so all's well that ends well.
Is the one who knows they're doing something wrong but doesn't care a sociopath or a psychopath? Hey, guys, thanks for coming up.
Hey.
Hey.
I know that we told you yesterday that we wanted to buy back your shares of the house.
Yeah.
Mmm-hmm! Yeah.
We've been thinking about it and We've changed our minds.
Huh? That's pretty weak.
Weak? Weak how? How is that? It hasn't even been 24 hours.
Nothing's happened.
Yes.
Yes, something has happened.
We all made a deal, remember? And now you guys are backing out.
Which is unethical.
She would know.
Yeah.
What if I already committed that 80 grand I was supposed to get right away to something else? Did you? I may have.
You know, that's not that point.
The point is we made a deal.
I felt like we were helping you out.
Hey, I checked that second homing device and Nicole is driving south alone.
What did I miss? I don't think it's unethical to change our minds after one day, do you? We didn't even set a time for payoff to you guys.
I think you said something about the next couple of days, but You don't understand.
Building this house would have been the end of Delinda and me.
She has a phobia about recliners.
I'm going to have to do something about that.
You want me to answer the question? Yeah.
Well, to be honest, I don't find it unethical, just a little cavalier.
What do you mean cavalier? Well, did you ask if any of us had made plans for that money? Mary was already talking about getting a new car, so Well, that's not really Wait, wait, wait.
Nicole's in Henderson.
At the Hippo.
Maybe she found out and is going out there to confront her.
No.
If I know Nicole, that ain't it.
One for me.
One for you.
One for me.
Danny.
Hey.
This isn't what it looks like.
Yeah.
It's something else.
Ollie told me everything and so I came out here to tell Pomona and get the money back.
Yeah.
Why not call the cops? Because I thought the money might become evidence and it would take a long time to get it back.
Okay.
Well, now that you got the money You are going to give the money back, right? Every penny.
Good.
Then I'll call the cops and you can tell them that Pomona blackmailed Ollie and you knew nothing until Ollie told you.
Yeah.
That way you can help send Pomona to prison for a very long time.
Okay.
You lying bitch! Pomona, shut up! Just shut up! It was all her idea! She did it! Listen, Danny, we were going to get a divorce! Stop! Stop! He would have had to pay me at least this much in alimony.
Unless he was broke.
Probably didn't want to take the chance.
We should probably call the cops now.
Mmm-hmm.
Pomona, why don't we finish that lap dance? So you were born in an electrical storm Took a bite out of the sun Saw your future in the meshing of the two Now your rays make me kind of go crazy Shock and awe and amaze me Just a ticker tape parade and me but something was wrong DELINDA: She tried to blackmail her own husband? Yeah.
Hey, I've been thinking, and I've decided that we can't go back on our word.
We have to buy the other shares of the house.
What about our design issues? What if you choose the inside and I choose the outside? I decorate the entire interior? Yes.
Yes, we forget about the sex list.
Huh? Deal.
And don't worry, since I'm eighty-sixing the recliners, maybe I'll put a flat screen in the bedroom so we can watch our home videos.
Any thoughts on the outside? As a matter of fact, yes.
A log cabin in the desert? Let this be a lesson to you.
What lesson would that be, sir? How often am I right about people? It's pretty much a constant.
But, I mean, as good as I am, there's always that one time out of a thousand when you're a little off.
That's what happened with Nicole.
Begging your pardon, sir.
I'm still a little unclear about the lesson part.
The lesson is don't lose your humility.
Ah.
Where is Nicole? Metro Police really didn't want to furlough her to see the concert so Mary went with Ollie instead.
That guy's a jerk.
Come on, Eddie, he's a victim.
Hey, if he hadn't allowed himself to make out in that elevator, none of this would have happened.
The guy is a jerk.
Hey! I love it.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on Mr.
Slocum thinks we should kiss and make up.
D- d-d-do what you want! D- d-d-do what you want! Yeah! Do what you want! Do, do what you want! Do, do what you want! Do what you want! D- d-d-do what you want! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! D- d-d-d-d-do what you want! Yeah!
You too? Yeah.
What's up? Hey, sweetie.
Hey.
Meeting Ed at the front desk? Mmm-hmm.
So you want all of us to welcome back this Nicole who used to work here? First of all, it's not "this" Nicole.
I don't refer to you as this Mike Cannon, do I? Well, it's just that I don't know her.
I know her.
I hired her right out of high school.
Her old man wasn't around so I kind of, you know, became her dad.
Anyway, she ran off and got married this last year.
And this weekend is my first-anniversary gift to her.
Right out of high school? Don't you have to be 21 to work here? Why don't you just report me? Hey, I just want to make sure I'm up to date on the regs.
Nicole? That ring any bells? You guys know her? No.
I know her.
Daddy introduced me after he sort of took her under his wing.
She's cute, worked in the coffee shop.
Danny, you must know her.
Yeah, a little.
Hey, Steve.
Hi, Steve.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey, everyone.
What good fortune.
All of my landlords together in one place.
Wow.
This is harder than I thought it would be.
What is it, Steve? Steve and I won't be renewing our lease next month.
I got an offer from the new Wynn Casino in Macau.
And it was such a fabulous opportunity I just couldn't turn it down.
But we love you all.
And we loved living in your home.
All the best to you.
Take care, my man.
There you go.
There you go.
There you go.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I better get to work.
Now I have to find a new tenant.
You know what a hassle that was? Hey! You remember everyone? Nicole.
Hi.
How are you? Married.
Wow.
I heard.
When everyone heard you were coming here, they insisted on a welcoming committee.
Aw.
Hi.
Hey, Nicole.
This is my husband, Ollie.
Hey.
Hey.
We really appreciate this.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Hey, forget about all that.
Ollie, here's your key.
Go start having a good time, all right? Thank you.
All right then.
Danny, Mike.
My office, 10 minutes.
This is your fault.
This Ollie guy, I want you to watch him.
Last name Querim.
Okay.
Why? I don't like him and I don't trust him.
You just met him.
What kind of name is Ollie for a grown man? A very suspicious one.
I'll run a background check? Yeah, I did.
He's clean.
But, you know, he's up to something and I don't want him hurting Nicole.
Well, what is he up to? I don't know.
But I'm an excellent judge of character and his is bad.
And I'm also the guy that signs your paycheck.
We'll be watching him like a hawk, sir.
Good.
Check the front desk at about 3:00 this afternoon.
Get an image of an Ollie Querim checking in then VideolQ him.
Got it.
I don't know why Ed's so into this Nicole.
I mean, I know her and she's all right, but do you believe all that "excellent judge of character" stuff? Yes, I do.
The girl's back is to the camera so you can't really see who she is.
It ain't Nicole.
That's pretty obvious.
But she does look familiar.
I think we should tell Ed.
I think that when Ed said he wanted us to watch him, he meant to watch for something a little more serious than making out with some chick in the elevator.
No.
Nicole is like Ed's daughter.
So his daughter's newlywed husband is cheating on her.
Where did you go to school, MIT or Uptight University? Twenty-two seconds of kissing in an elevator, is that cheating? I don't know.
Maybe.
First of all, they go up, then go back down and we don't know what happens after they leave.
And second, I think most people would consider this cheating.
I agree.
But a lot of people come to Vegas so they can do that kind of stuff and get away with it.
Is this Ollie cat your boy? How come you got his back like this? I'm just saying if we start keeping video files on every dude that has a little fun in the elevator Wait, let's cut to the chase.
If we don't tell Ed and Ed finds out we didn't tell him, he's going to can our asses.
I'm not calling him at 2:00 a.
m.
for this.
First thing in the morning, and you better be here.
You better be here.
Yeah.
I'll be here.
Please bring Mr.
Querim to my office.
And what are you going to do? Convey my disappointment.
Convey verbally or otherwise? I know that sometimes, you know, guys come to Vegas and this sort of stuff happens.
Yeah.
That's exactly what I said.
And if that's all it was, then, I don't know, maybe it's none of our business, you know? Point taken.
So, would you guys please find this young fellow and bring him up here before I find him and gouge out his eyeballs.
So, tell me everything, Ollie, life in Fresno, married life Where do I start? Well, Fresno isn't Vegas.
That's for sure.
But that's where Ollie's business is.
They make TV stands.
Except now with all the flat screens, the stands are changing and so the company's been having some trouble.
Lot of trouble.
So, we sort of had to cut back.
You know, no more new clothes, no manicures, no dinners out.
Oh, well, I'm sure business will turn around.
You know, it just seems like everything changed once we got married.
The money, his personality, the money.
Everything's so tense now.
Well, now, you know every marriage has its rough patches.
Yeah.
You know, I don't have any proof, but I kind of have a hunch that Ollie's cheated on me.
You're kidding.
I'm sorry.
Oh, enough about my stupid problems.
How are you? Well, the job's good and Danny and I are living together, and it's going so great.
Oh, he's such a great guy.
Isn't he? No wonder he dumped me.
I didn't know you two Oh, yeah.
Right when I moved from housekeeping to the coffee shop.
It was pretty hot and heavy there for a few months.
But, I don't know, I guess he just got sick of me.
No.
I'm sure that wasn't it.
But this is fun.
Fun.
Cheers.
Cheers.
This is fun.
Yeah.
So fun.
Learn something new every day.
Yeah.
I know the OK Go concert's sold out, but I need tickets.
Yeah? My whale, Mr.
Slocum's in town and he's a big fan.
Oh, yeah? Actually, Delinda told me that Nicole's a huge fan, too.
So I've arranged a private meeting in her suite.
They're going to show her how to do that whole skating on the treadmills thing.
Oh, the treadmill thing? From their video.
When are they going to do that? Tomorrow, 1:00.
Interesting.
Delinda's with Nicole so Ollie is probably alone.
Unless he's with his elevator buddy.
I'll call upstairs, have them do a VideolQ.
Hey, Steve.
Heard about the big move.
Congratulations.
Is that your attempt at some sort of cruel humor? You don't want to go to Macau? I wasn't invited.
Yes, it's true.
Steve has cast me away like so much rancid milk.
I'm sorry.
You guys always seemed like you got along pretty well.
He's the most stubborn man I've ever met.
He refuses to accept how much we need each other.
And what about our Disneyana collection? We built that collection together.
How can he bear to see that torn asunder? How can you divide up seven dwarves? Talk to him.
He respects you.
You know, I don't think that's such a good idea.
I think that's something You guys need to work that out amongst yourselves.
Listen, Steve, we are sort of on our way to a meeting.
So So, your allegiance is with the stubborn one.
That's not what we said, Steve.
I should have known.
Aw Here we go.
Hey, Ollie, how's it going? Great.
We're having a wonderful time.
Ed was wondering if he could have a word with you up in his office? About what? Oh, I don't know, maybe how thrilled he is to be comping your weekend.
Here you are.
You can take that with you.
I would love to, but I have a golf lesson at 3:00.
My short game's You're going to have to reschedule.
Come here.
Take him up.
I got to go check on something.
All right.
You know, Ollie, just a little while ago I was telling Danny and Mike what an excellent judge of character I was.
How long ago did I say that? Just a little while ago.
Well, I'll tell you how we happened to be discussing that particular subject.
We were discussing it because I commented on how very much I dislike you.
You know, we don't even know each other Mr.
Deline Shut up.
We don't know each other, and yet this dislike, this animosity, this firm belief that you're a complete jerk was almost instantaneous.
Look at this.
You've proven me right.
It's a gift, Mr.
D.
Do I get to say anything? After I tell you what's going to happen.
I'm going to give you one more chance.
Just one.
Say thank you.
From this moment forward, you will not even so much as think of another woman.
You will be the kindest, most generous, most adoring husband in the world.
Now, if I should hear otherwise You don't want that.
A man, a large man, will visit you at your home.
He will not knock You kind of understand what I'm saying here? Fine.
All right, so what do you have to say for yourself? Mr.
Deline, you don't have to worry.
This will never happen again.
I adore Nicole.
She is the love of my life.
This It only happened because I was really drunk.
And I decided to go down to the casino after Nicole went to bed, and I got even more drunk.
And then when I was in the elevator going back up to the room, this woman gets on and she pretty much attacked me.
Now, I know that's not an excuse for what happened, but I think that most guys would have done the same thing in the same situation.
Then why didn't you get off and go back to your own room? Why did you ride back down with her and leave the casino? She was wearing a lot of perfume, like a stripper.
So I thought if I went outside and walked around, it would wear off.
You're familiar with the fragrance of strippers? Look, that's what happened.
You either believe me or you don't.
But I don't have to put up with this.
Paying for our room doesn't give you the right to interrogate or threaten me.
Remember what I said.
Keep watching him.
On and off property.
Off property? You mean tail him 24 hours a day? No, of course not.
You and Danny split it up.
Hey.
Hey.
Where are you going? To plant a homing device on Ollie.
He says the woman in the elevator was making all the moves and he won't do it again, but Ed's not buying it.
I do.
I looked at the surveillance tapes again.
Yeah? I did some checking and I think that that girl in the elevator's Pomona.
Who's Pomona? A stripper at the Hippo.
And a major-league scammer.
Oh, yeah.
Ollie said she was wearing that stripper-type perfume.
Well, I've had a few run-ins with her.
She once offered me a three-way if I let her go.
Huh.
What did you do? Danny? This is such a huge waste of time.
Even if he did make the moves with Pomona, we're not marriage counselors.
I hate to say it, but I agree with you.
And if Nicole married a douchebag, maybe she deserved it.
Wow.
My man's been drinking some Hater-ade.
This is Danny.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
I understand.
It's white Steve.
Yeah, he seemed a little upset when we talked to him, too.
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Steve says Steve's acting a little psycho.
How so? White Steve's moving out tonight and asked if we would sign off on their upgrade so he can get back his half of the security deposit.
Well, maybe I'll go out there with Delinda later.
Well, go ahead.
I'll take care of this.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Thank you.
So, we have to keep watching Ollie.
Frankly, I think your dad's gone a little overboard.
You haven't asked me about my lunch with Nicole.
Well, would you be offended if I said I wasn't that interested? So, how was your lunch with Nicole? Nice.
Good.
One interesting thing came up though.
She said that you two were quite an item for a while.
Hardly an item.
Right.
So it was just the sex? We went out a few times and that was more than enough.
But when you knew that she was coming back here and that she and I were friends and that you two had slept together and that now we're living together, you didn't think that was a coincidence worth mentioning? You want me to tell you about every girl that I've had sex with? You say that like there were hundreds.
Isn't that where we turn? Oh, my God! Yes.
I burned it down and I'm glad I did.
Maybe now Steve will realize eternal love cannot be erased with a plane ticket.
I understand.
Okay.
I'll talk to you later.
Well Bye.
The phrase "completely and totally screwed" springs to mind.
Not necessarily.
I spoke with the insurance agent and once you fill out all the paperwork and they verify everything, and the arson charges are finalized, they'll come up with a reimbursement schedule.
You lost me at paperwork.
They're probably going to nickel-and-dime us.
Not to mention the hassle of getting a place designed, building permits, construction Hey, well, I suppose we could try to negotiate for a cash settlement.
Settle for lot value.
Cash? No rebuilding? I'm in.
Hands in the middle.
Come on.
Settlement on three.
One, two, three.
Settlement! Hey.
Hey.
We put our hands in.
Yeah, yeah! Hey, guys.
Hey.
Danny, why didn't you tell me you and Delinda were living together? Sometimes he keeps things to himself.
Well, I already told her how great I think it is.
And I would love it if we could all get together for drinks later.
You know, you guys and me and Ollie.
I have some stuff to do.
Maybe later? Oh, yeah, no, it would have to be later because Ollie's playing golf, and I'm going to run to the spa.
Well, then we'll get back to you.
Good.
Not.
You don't have to pretend you don't like her.
I'm not pretending.
You don't understand, that woman is completely nuts.
Should I come back? No, we're fine.
Did Nicole just say Ollie was playing golf? Yeah.
Well, unless there's a fairway on the I-15 and his golf cart is doing 65, he lying.
Now he's in Henderson.
Maybe he's playing some golf out at Black Mountain.
Denise, punch up the coordinates and give me the satellite image, please.
The owner's listed as a Felix T.
Katt.
I think we should head out there.
Look, you already admitted that this is a waste of time.
It may be a waste of time, Danny, but a good surveillance man gives his all on every job.
Good luck.
Hey, guys.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm Sam.
I came to take you to your little get-together.
Mary said to meet her in the suite.
Oh.
Yeah, well, there's been a little change of plans.
Does Mary know? She'll figure it out.
Follow me.
Your car looks good.
Yeah.
They did a nice job.
So, what was all that "don't pretend you don't like her" stuff with Delinda? She just found out about that thing that Nicole and I had a few years ago.
Actually, Nicole told her.
Do you believe that? Wait a minute, you and Nicole? Yeah.
I didn't tell you about that? No, my brother, you did not.
Yeah.
It was just a few months after she started working in the coffee shop.
She looks like she'd be kind of feisty.
Very feisty.
Oh! Very feisty.
Yeah, but she's a liar and she's bad news.
Oh! She broke your heart, huh? She did not break my heart.
I didn't tell you about this? No.
Okay, she tells me she's pregnant and that she thinks maybe we should think about getting married.
So, you know, naturally I'm freaking out, especially because I didn't think that she was pregnant, and I always glove up, so, you know, I said maybe we should come up with some other plan.
And sure enough, she takes another test and what do you know, not pregnant.
Well, maybe her first test was false positive.
That can happen.
No, I'm telling you, dude, this girl's bad news.
Bad news.
Hey, Ollie just left Henderson.
You think we should follow him or see where he was? No, we can always find him.
Let's see what's doing at the Felix T.
Katt residence.
What a surprise.
Hi, Danny.
You know each other? Mike, meet Pomona.
I swear.
I'm not scamming anyone.
I met him at the Montecito, and we just had a little bit of fun.
Hi, this is Crystal.
If you want to party with me, just leave your name I didn't even know he was married.
And he said his name was George, not Ollie.
He said he wanted to see me again, so I gave him my number.
Hmm.
He just came by to see you? Yes.
You or Crystal? Look, I don't know who this guy is or what he's done, but he's definitely not worth all this trouble.
So, if we could just sort of consider this case closed, I'd really be grateful.
Like, so grateful.
Not only is the guy cheating, he's cheating on her with a prostitute.
Is that better or worse? Come on, man.
You don't feel for Nicole at all? Her husband's talking about how much he loves and adores her, and six hours after they arrive in Las Vegas, he's hooking up with a pro.
Yeah, but not a bad-looking pro, right? As pros go, maybe.
So, if you had been there by yourself, you think you would have sampled some of that gratitude? Come on, Danny, I thought you knew me better.
Mike Cannon doesn't go where the multitudes have gone before.
Yeah, since when? Yeah? So, he just left his broad he swore he'd never see again? Honey, do me a favor.
Find that Ollie Querim, would you? Mmm-hmm.
Listen, hey, Danny, when you get back, stay in the car in case this bum tries to leave.
Mike will go with me.
I found him.
I mean cheating is one thing.
Lying to me, that's another.
Denise says he's here in the sports book.
There he is.
Yo! Hey, Ollie.
I've been looking all over for you.
We need to talk privately.
About Pomona? Yes.
She's blackmailing me.
You know you lied to me once.
If you think you're going to do it again I swear.
I'm not lying.
So, after that little slip-up in the elevator, Pomona calls and says she knows I'm married and if I don't pay her $100,000, she will tell Nicole.
So, after a couple of pecks on the cheek, she's blackmailing you.
She says that she's going to tell Nicole that we did more.
Which of course you did not do.
And she says that she knows someone in the Montecito surveillance department and she could get the video from the elevator.
Why didn't you call the police? Well, because then they'd want to know how I knew her.
And you'd have to show them the surveillance tape.
And I don't want Nicole to know about this.
I was wrong! But I assume that you have a girlfriend or a wife.
You understand.
So, if she's blackmailing you, what the hell were you doing at her house an hour ago? Yeah, yeah, we do know about that.
I was delivering half of the money.
I cleaned out our bank account.
You don't believe me? Here's a withdrawal slip.
Call the bank.
Check my account.
So, what do you want from us? A loan.
Hmm? For the other 50,000.
I will pay you back.
I swear.
But please, she only gave me until noon tomorrow.
I got a question.
Why would we be inclined to help you? Because you know how special Nicole is and how desperate I am not to lose her.
She's special.
Yes.
Oh! Oh! Hey, hey.
I think you're lying.
Go with me.
I'll wear a wire.
You'll see I'm telling the truth.
Please.
Okay, look.
I'm going to do you a favor.
I'm going to think about it.
I'm really sorry about this whole misunderstanding.
They were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago.
Don't worry about it.
Ollie's late, too.
One second.
Okay.
Hey, Damian, it's Mary.
I just wanted to make sure we're still on for our little get-together? Oh, you're in Mr.
Slocum's suite? I thought you knew.
Sam said I can imagine what Sam said.
May I speak with Sam? Okay.
Sam, it's Mary.
Uh I'll call her back.
She'll have to call you back.
Sure she will.
Slight change of plans.
We are gonna go meet OK Go in a different suite.
Oh.
Yeah.
Bring your snacks.
Okay.
Come on.
MIKE: He could be using the blackmail as an excuse so that if we told Nicole, he could say it was all a setup by Pomona.
Or by you, since you hate him.
I don't hate him.
I mean, I dislike him and I think Nicole deserves better.
So, maybe, you know, it's an intense dislike.
Mmm.
So, what about this Pomona? Does someone in surveillance really know her? I do.
Oh, what a shocker.
I busted her last year.
That's how I know her.
Anyway, is she the kind of person that would pull this thing off? Yeah.
Yeah, she is.
Damn it.
Well, I guess before I break up their marriage, we'll check it out, huh? Whoo! Oh, hey, Mary.
Hi, Nicole.
Hey, fellas.
Hey.
Hey, Mary.
You remember Mr.
Slocum? DAMIAN: It's like five, six, seven, eight That's my favorite thing.
See that? It's not as easy as it looks.
Oh, it isn't? Hi, Nicole.
You're an OK Go fan, right? Are you kidding? I'm completely obsessed with you guys.
Come down here.
These boys are going to show you how to do this.
Seriously? Come on down.
Yeah, come on, Nicole.
Lace up your skates.
Could you? Sorry.
No.
Okay.
This isn't over.
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? Sure.
Yeah.
You know, I've been meaning to buy one of those little $8 packets of aspirin in the gift shop.
Meet you in the car.
Where are you guys going? To talk to a stripper who made out with Ollie in the elevator who may or may not be blackmailing him.
Oh.
Listen, I owe you an apology.
Apology accepted.
For what? I shouldn't have been so bent out of shape about you keeping the Nicole thing to yourself.
It's all right.
I mean, I haven't told you about every sexual liaison I've had.
And I don't need to know.
That's true.
But wouldn't it make our relationship stronger if you did know? And I knew about yours? This is a list of every guy I've had sex with, or if I don't remember his name, location and approximate date.
When you complete your list, we'll swap.
I think that's a really bad idea.
But if that's what you want You realize I am going to get a severe case of writer's cramp? No great rush.
We'll exchange next weekend, yeah? Okay.
Okay.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, and I have an idea, too.
You know how we've been talking about moving? Yeah.
Why don't we buy out Sam and Mike and Mary's shares of the burned down house? That way, we can build a house exactly the way we want.
Our dream house.
I think so.
I like it.
And I love you.
I love you, too.
Oh, uh Okay.
Yeah.
Hey, Pomona's working at the Hippo tonight so we can pay her a visit.
Just give me a minute here.
What's that? I'm writing out a list of all the girls that I've been with.
Delinda seems to think that it will strengthen our relationship.
Son, I think it's time you and I have a talk.
I know it's stupid, but for whatever reason I agreed to do it, so There.
Done.
That's it? Yeah.
Nice move.
What are you talking about? Come on, that low-balling? With a list that small, she might even top you.
Almost makes you look innocent.
I got no hidden agenda.
That's the list.
Come on now.
This is Mike you're talking to.
That's the list.
That's the list.
As far as she knows, that's the list.
All right, I can roll with that.
That's the list.
Hey, you guys looking for a What a surprise.
Let's go.
Okay.
Blackmail? Are you kidding? I wouldn't last five minutes in this business if I ratted out every married man I'd been with.
If I ratted out one! So Ollie didn't give you any money? Okay.
Ah.
He gave me $1,800 to get my car fixed.
Oh, so that's what they're calling it now? Getting your car fixed? Look, if I really wanted to blackmail someone, why would I give my real name, huh? MIKE: I don't know.
Why would I let him know where I live? Woman's got a point.
Really.
I've seen it a million times.
The guy starts to feel guilty so he cooks up some story to cover his ass.
Okay.
He's lying.
Let's tell Ed so we can get back to our real jobs.
Remember the multitudes have been there.
That was the old Mike.
New Mike's seen the light.
That a boy.
So, here's the bottom line.
We think you're lying.
So I don't think you went out to that stripper's house to pay ransom.
You went out there voluntarily to get laid.
So, either you tell Nicole about this and try to save your sorry ass, which, by the way, you know, good luck Or I'm gonna tell her.
So you got 24 hours.
Nicole always talked about how compassionate and understanding you were.
So I thought you might want to help.
But she was obviously talking about someone else.
Ooh, ouch.
That hurt.
Now, you get the hell out of my office.
So, basically, since Dee and I were thinking about buying a house anyway, we thought maybe we'd just build one here.
Assuming none of you object.
How much money would we get? We have to sign all these papers.
We just signed a bunch of papers.
I give up.
They win.
How much money would we get from you and Delinda? Mike's been talking to the insurance guy And a few realtors to get an estimate of the lot value.
I added lot value to the settlement the insurance company offered us How much money? And I figured each of our shares would be worth about 80,000.
That's 30 grand more than we paid.
Right.
So, instead of getting money from the insurance company and from selling the lot Which could take a while.
We could just pay each of you now and we'd own the property.
I'm down with that.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I guess that's cool.
All right.
Bring it in.
I'm just kidding.
That went well.
It's a great deal for them.
They get their money back right away.
Speaking of money, I think you might be right about Nicole.
What do you mean? She might be a more shallow person than I thought.
I guess Ollie's business isn't doing so great, and twice now she's told me that having less money and having to cut back is ruining her life.
She even said she might divorce him.
He's no prize, but When did she say this? Right when she got here.
A strong marriage needs to be able to weather the rough patches.
I'll see you at home.
Hey, you finish your sex list yet? Delinda tell you everything? Want some advice? No.
Between four and seven, that's what she wants to see.
And no one she knows.
Oops, I forgot about Nicole.
So she told you about that, too? It's not exactly a state secret.
She's not that hot, by the way.
Let me know how it goes.
Yeah.
Okay Oh You don't have to.
I'll find out.
Denise, I want you to VideolQ Nicole Querim and call me as soon as she's alone.
Oh, she just called looking for you.
She left her cell number.
Okay.
Tell her to meet me at Wolfgang Puck's in an hour.
Hey, Mike, you got any more of those little homing chips? Yeah.
Why? Did I ever tell you that I'm an excellent judge of character? Hey, Nicole.
Hey.
Thanks for meeting me.
Of course.
Listen.
I just wanted to apologize for mentioning to Delinda our little fling.
No, no, it was really uncool of me.
I should have realized that No, don't worry about it.
It's not a problem.
Really? Yeah.
Really.
So, we're still friends? Yes.
Of course.
Okay.
I don't think I slept a wink.
Was I snoring again? No.
I just kept thinking about all the things I've always wanted in a house, and how now that we're building our own, I get to have them.
Thank you for doing this.
Oh, what kind of things? Well, like, his and hers bathrooms, a center island kitchen with a bread warmer, wine cooler, walk-in pantry We don't cook.
And, of course, his and hers closets.
Hers being four times the size of the one we have now.
And I want a bidet.
Bidet? What about what I want? We'll do what you want, too.
You know, as long as it's not one of those tacky home theater rooms with a wet bar and hideous recliners.
That I'd have to veto.
You know, honey, I think that it would be great if we could both have everything we wanted, but, you know, extra bathrooms and bread warmers and huge closets aren't just expensive, but they also take up a lot of space.
Space that we're probably not going to have.
You want a home theater? I think a home theater would be a good use of an already existing second bedroom.
Who says we need a second bedroom? First of all, I don't think a 60-inch LCD with surround sound is a home theater.
These days, that's just a television.
Baby, I'm not trying to be unreasonable.
But you are being unreasonable.
Okay, how about this? You lose the home theater and I'll lose the bidet? Yeah, but you can watch your Hugh Grant movies.
You can wash your feet in the bidet.
I'm starting to think that this whole home building thing wasn't such a great idea.
It only cost me 20 bucks.
What are you talking about? That's what I paid Jerry, the valet, to clean up my car.
So that little practical joke you played on me only cost me $20.
Bargain.
Well, I had to do it.
Otherwise, Slocum was threatening to take his $500,000-a-weekend gambling habit to the Venetian.
Anyway, Nicole got to see OK Go, so all's well that ends well.
Is the one who knows they're doing something wrong but doesn't care a sociopath or a psychopath? Hey, guys, thanks for coming up.
Hey.
Hey.
I know that we told you yesterday that we wanted to buy back your shares of the house.
Yeah.
Mmm-hmm! Yeah.
We've been thinking about it and We've changed our minds.
Huh? That's pretty weak.
Weak? Weak how? How is that? It hasn't even been 24 hours.
Nothing's happened.
Yes.
Yes, something has happened.
We all made a deal, remember? And now you guys are backing out.
Which is unethical.
She would know.
Yeah.
What if I already committed that 80 grand I was supposed to get right away to something else? Did you? I may have.
You know, that's not that point.
The point is we made a deal.
I felt like we were helping you out.
Hey, I checked that second homing device and Nicole is driving south alone.
What did I miss? I don't think it's unethical to change our minds after one day, do you? We didn't even set a time for payoff to you guys.
I think you said something about the next couple of days, but You don't understand.
Building this house would have been the end of Delinda and me.
She has a phobia about recliners.
I'm going to have to do something about that.
You want me to answer the question? Yeah.
Well, to be honest, I don't find it unethical, just a little cavalier.
What do you mean cavalier? Well, did you ask if any of us had made plans for that money? Mary was already talking about getting a new car, so Well, that's not really Wait, wait, wait.
Nicole's in Henderson.
At the Hippo.
Maybe she found out and is going out there to confront her.
No.
If I know Nicole, that ain't it.
One for me.
One for you.
One for me.
Danny.
Hey.
This isn't what it looks like.
Yeah.
It's something else.
Ollie told me everything and so I came out here to tell Pomona and get the money back.
Yeah.
Why not call the cops? Because I thought the money might become evidence and it would take a long time to get it back.
Okay.
Well, now that you got the money You are going to give the money back, right? Every penny.
Good.
Then I'll call the cops and you can tell them that Pomona blackmailed Ollie and you knew nothing until Ollie told you.
Yeah.
That way you can help send Pomona to prison for a very long time.
Okay.
You lying bitch! Pomona, shut up! Just shut up! It was all her idea! She did it! Listen, Danny, we were going to get a divorce! Stop! Stop! He would have had to pay me at least this much in alimony.
Unless he was broke.
Probably didn't want to take the chance.
We should probably call the cops now.
Mmm-hmm.
Pomona, why don't we finish that lap dance? So you were born in an electrical storm Took a bite out of the sun Saw your future in the meshing of the two Now your rays make me kind of go crazy Shock and awe and amaze me Just a ticker tape parade and me but something was wrong DELINDA: She tried to blackmail her own husband? Yeah.
Hey, I've been thinking, and I've decided that we can't go back on our word.
We have to buy the other shares of the house.
What about our design issues? What if you choose the inside and I choose the outside? I decorate the entire interior? Yes.
Yes, we forget about the sex list.
Huh? Deal.
And don't worry, since I'm eighty-sixing the recliners, maybe I'll put a flat screen in the bedroom so we can watch our home videos.
Any thoughts on the outside? As a matter of fact, yes.
A log cabin in the desert? Let this be a lesson to you.
What lesson would that be, sir? How often am I right about people? It's pretty much a constant.
But, I mean, as good as I am, there's always that one time out of a thousand when you're a little off.
That's what happened with Nicole.
Begging your pardon, sir.
I'm still a little unclear about the lesson part.
The lesson is don't lose your humility.
Ah.
Where is Nicole? Metro Police really didn't want to furlough her to see the concert so Mary went with Ollie instead.
That guy's a jerk.
Come on, Eddie, he's a victim.
Hey, if he hadn't allowed himself to make out in that elevator, none of this would have happened.
The guy is a jerk.
Hey! I love it.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on Mr.
Slocum thinks we should kiss and make up.
D- d-d-do what you want! D- d-d-do what you want! Yeah! Do what you want! Do, do what you want! Do, do what you want! Do what you want! D- d-d-do what you want! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! D- d-d-d-d-do what you want! Yeah!