Magnum, P.I. (1980) s05e08 Episode Script
Murder 101
Welcome to all five of you to Private Investigation 101.
We're on a field trip.
Relax I thought we were looking for Stacy's lost boyfriend.
Hey, trust the teach.
He can handle himself.
I wanna know where Ted is.
This wasn't just a classroom exercise to me.
Ted is in real trouble.
What in God's name have you done to Mildred's room? The trash is part of a lesson plan, Gaylord.
This class is canceled.
Whoa, bummer.
You sure you have everything? I got everything.
I'm all set, sweetheart.
Okay.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too, baby.
I'll go park and meet you at the gate.
Nah, there's not enough time, sweetheart.
I better just make a run for it.
I gotta go.
Bye-bye.
Wait.
Kiss.
Oh.
I love you.
Give me a call.
Let me know where you're staying.
Yeah.
Yeah, I promise.
Bye-bye.
Hey, you can't park here.
Five minutes.
I'm It's a loading zone.
I'm meeting someone.
Last call for flight 241 to Seattle.
Last call for flight 241 to Seattle.
My boyfriend left his ticket in the car.
Do you have someone looking for a ticket? That plane is departing right now.
Well, he Sorry.
Well, he can't have left.
Thank you.
There you go.
Yeah, thanks.
Thank you.
Have a nice day, Mr.
Hazlett.
Surveillance of any kind requires a high degree of professionalism.
Tailing the target requires intense concentration.
Relax for even a second, and he or she could simply vanish.
Or even worse, if you allow he or she to recognize you as an adversary, then he or she might instigate direct confrontation, which the Surgeon General has declared to be Hazardous to your health.
Strike that.
That stinks.
Your discretion is commendable.
Higgins, don't you ever knock? I just discovered Mr.
Masters' stereo wall has an ugly, gaping wound on the left side.
Oh, I'm sorry, Higgins.
Look, I'll put it back just as soon as I finish my idea vocabulary.
Look.
Dare to Achieve.
A Guidebook to Successful Motivation.
See, I'm using it to prepare my first lesson plan.
See, the way you get your idea vocabulary is you let all your thoughts just kinda drop out of your brain in no particular order, and then you store them on tape for future use.
You dropped one.
Oh, that's pizza.
I didn't have time to stop work and take a break, Higgins.
It didn't get down on the machine.
Surely a highly sensitive $2,000 recording device merits better use than the logging of non-sequitured musings and the indignity of mozzarella droppings.
Higgins, please, at least let me play back what I've done and take some notes.
I've got my first class tomorrow and I don't have a lesson plan.
Magnum, how long have you known that you were going to teach this course? Two weeks! But, I mean, I've been busy on a case, Higgins.
I mean, after all, that's why they asked me to teach the class, remember? I am a working private investigator.
Certainly not because you're on a volleyball team with the Director of Adult Education of the college.
No.
Okay, so Dave Gibson and I play an occasional game of volleyball.
Big deal.
You really expect to fill 20 hours with this course? Aren't you afraid you'll be overdrawn at your idea bank? It's idea vocabulary, Higgins, and please, just let me keep it for this chapter.
You know, Kenji was suddenly called away from the estate this morning.
A death in the family.
Oh, I'm sorry.
What's this got to do with your generosity? Well, he was in the midst of fertilizing the hibiscus beds.
Someone needs to finish it.
I haven't the time.
Sure.
How difficult could that be? And the hibiscus needs only one more ton of manure.
A ton? Do you want the tape recorder or not? All right.
But for a ton of manure, I get to keep it for as long as I'm teaching the class.
Your class will probably be canceled after today.
Oh, no, no.
It's right here in your prospectus.
"Private Investigation 101.
"A fascinating in-depth study of the world of private investigation "taught by professional private investigator, Thomas Magnum.
20 hours.
" Provided there is sufficient interest in the course to provide minimum enrollment.
Oh, it's no problem.
Dave is expecting a big sign-up.
Mr.
Magnum, Mr.
Gibson is a very fine administrator.
However, his impulsive additions to our curriculum in the past have proven to be unsuccessful experiments.
He felt passionately about a course called Ocean Hydrodynamics.
It had a total enrollment of one.
Himself.
Mr.
Gaylord, this is not Ocean Hydrodynamics, okay? I am teaching a beginner's class in a profession.
Perhaps.
But you will admit that in the general body of our other offerings, it does appear to be rather superfluous.
No.
No, I won't admit that.
Look at this.
"Eighteenth Century Portuguese Literature, "Politics of the Vatican, "A History of European Metallurgy.
" And you call my course superfluous? Room 214.
Look at this.
This one's so superfluous it's already been canceled.
"Applied Metaphysics, Mildred Gaylord.
" Geez.
My wife.
Her course was canceled by a Mr.
Gibson to make room for yours.
Well, good luck with your enrollment, Mr.
Magnum.
I will be very interested in the total.
The college has a policy.
Eight students per course.
Eight? All I need is eight? Eight.
Welcome to all five of you to Private Investigation 101.
I'm sure there'll be lots more students coming along in just a few minutes.
In the meantime Thomas Magnum.
You can call me You can call me anything you want.
Right.
Well, I was planning on dividing this class into two parts.
The first part will be the classroom lectures, and then the second part I think you're going to like this.
The second part will be where we go out on the streets for what I call an actual field study case.
What kind of field study case? Well, I'm glad you asked that because that's what we need.
We need some classroom participation.
What's your name? Merle.
What kind of field study case? Well, I was planning to use a case that, that I had already solved a couple of years ago and then re-enacting my investigative procedure.
What if somebody in the class has some cases that weren't solved? Now, why can't we work on that? That's a great idea! Mrs.
Anawahi.
Elena.
I have a half dozen cases to work on.
Bad checks.
Elena's Gift Shop on Diamond Head.
The amount's too small for the police to take care of, so I thought I'd learn how to do it myself.
You're welcome to help me find some of these deadbeats.
After we catch the louse that sold me the junk truck.
I paid this dude Hold it.
Hold it, hold it.
Merle, I don't think a real case is a good idea.
Why not? Because you're only paying $25 for the course.
That's not the point.
See, the point is, if we go out on one of your cases Well, you'll be happy to know I don't have one.
Ah.
Kiana Dau.
I'm a journalism major.
Here strictly for research.
Is she right, Magnum? You think we're here trying to rip you off? No.
No, that's not the case at all.
It's just It's hard enough for one guy to tail a suspect, But can you imagine how conspicuous six of us Seven of us.
Seven of us would be? I mean, that's why a real case just It just doesn't work.
P.
I.
101? Private Investigation 101.
That is, if we get two more students.
Stacy Dayton.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Why can't you take us out investigating a few at a time? Maybe have more than one case.
No See, that is another problem.
Elena, you and Merle both have people that you want to find.
I mean, how could we possibly choose which one to pursue? Right.
I mean, would you stop giving Mr.
Magnum such a hard time? I mean, he's already got this nice, pre-solved case for us all worked out.
I mean, we should be grateful.
Yeah.
Well, not me.
Adios.
Fine.
No, fine.
That's fine.
We'll do a show of hands.
First Elena's check bouncers and then Merle's truck salesman.
Thank you.
Well, hey.
Like, what about everybody else, huh? I mean, can't we have problems, too? Okay, you got a prob If you have a problem, all of you, any of you, just write it down on a piece of paper.
Okay? You know? If you have one.
Now, just write 'em down on a piece of paper, and then we'll put them in this, and whichever one we choose will be our case.
Okay? Is that fair? Hey, you're doing the right thing, you know? I mean, like a real case.
Yeah, we'll be having a real P.
I.
Experience, you know? Private investigation can be great fun.
What is your name? Danny.
Yeah, like my old man was on my case about getting a job and stuff, you know.
So I go, "Hey.
" I mean, there's worse ways to earn a living, right? Well, I mean, you work your own hours, you pull down the big bucks.
Yeah.
Girls really dig it, too, right? Like it's pretty laid back, huh? Sure.
And after you finish this, all you need are 2,000 hours of investigative work to get your license.
Two thousand? Whoa, bummer.
Where did you get your experience, Mr.
Magnum? Well Naval Intelligence.
He was a Lieutenant Commander.
I'm a retired librarian.
Albert Leonard.
I just did a little basic research on you.
First step in an investigation, I believe? Four.
Four potential cases.
Kiana, since you don't have a case, why don't you hold that, and Albert.
Albert, why don't You don't have a case either, so if you'll pick them, we'll make that as fair as possible.
"I am running for my life from an unfriendly foreign power.
"If I don't find the hit man in 24 hours, "like, I'm dead, man.
" Well, I just put that in there for laughs, you know? I didn't figure you'd pick it or anything.
"I think my fiancé is cheating on me.
" I'm sorry.
I really do need help.
I have to find him.
Please help me.
And then the ticket agent assured me that no T.
Hazlett got on that flight to Seattle.
And a girlfriend of mine swears that she saw Ted coming out of a bar last night on the North Shore.
Well, we'll do some checking between now and the next class.
If he's on the island, he shouldn't be too hard to find.
The class, Mr.
Magnum, if you don't get enough students to continue, would you still help me find Ted? I can't pay your regular fee, but Stacy, there is going to be a class.
I think I can round up a couple of more students.
In the meantime, just try not to worry.
I'm sure there's a very innocent explanation.
Okay.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
And thank you.
Theodore Allen Hazlett.
Born August 27th, 1956 in Phoenix, Arizona.
Graduated Central Arizona University, 1979 with a degree in business administration.
Moved to Hawaii in 1981, currently employed as an officer with Huiia Savings and Loan.
His father was an only child and his mother has one deceased brother.
Therefore, we must conclude that he had no plans to visit a sick uncle in Seattle, as he told Stacy.
He did lie to me.
Whoa, gnarly! Any questions up till now? T.
C? Your knowledge of the target is most impressive.
Can you tell us how you collect your information? It's a basic skill of investigative work.
A very long and tedious process.
Records research? Right, Albert.
Records, like The DMV, voters registration, coroner's reports, court records, and some key people who provide inside street information, or something along those lines.
Among other things, yes.
T.
C: I've heard that some private investigators don't even do any of that bone-numbing research.
That they actually con other people to do it for them.
Yes, I've heard that also.
But, surely that can't be true.
Getting back to Ted.
The first step in a missing persons investigation Mr.
Magnum, you haven't answered the question.
I'm afraid little purpose would be served by an answer, Miss Dau, since I have the unfortunate duty to post a cancellation to this class.
I find only six enrollments.
I think if you count heads again, Mr.
Gaylord, you'll come up with eight.
Please come to the office immediately after the bell.
We do have a sign-up procedure.
Should anyone wish to know, today is the semester deadline for dropping out of a course and receiving a full refund.
Good day.
It's official! P.
I.
101 Private Investigation 101 is in! Whoa, radical! All right! Now, as I was saying, the first step in a missing persons investigation is to visit the target's last known whereabouts.
But since in this case he was last seen at a very large airport, we have to take the next most logical step.
His last alleged whereabouts.
Danny, the bar is just a couple of more miles.
It's The Pipeline, right, Stacy? Yeah.
That's where Deborah said she saw him.
Hey, like, you think I can get some mileage money? I mean, nobody told me we were gonna carpool it.
I'll pay for the beers when we get there.
All right.
I'm totally stoked.
I haven't done anything like this since Y-Camp.
Right.
I haven't had this much fun since basic at Parris Island.
Aw, come on, Merle, we're on a field trip.
Relax and enjoy the party.
Now, remember, when we go in the place, it's doubles and singles, and you don't know me.
So then how are you gonna pay for the beer, huh? I'll handle it, Danny.
Order all you want.
That's a lot of beer.
These boys drink their weight in beer.
You wanna buy them all they want? Yeah.
And anybody else who comes in.
Yeah, well, we don't get that much business this time of day.
Well Hey, how are you doing, man? Good.
All right.
Drinks on the house! This guy's buying.
Thank you, thank you.
That's so sweet Great.
Radical.
Thank you.
You always go around buying people beers? No, actually, I'm just kind of celebrating.
I came into some money.
An aunt I didn't even know.
Guess you never will now.
No.
Yeah, I'm just paying off some old debts.
Listen, I hear Ted Hazlett drops in here occasionally.
I owe him a couple of hundred.
You seen him lately? Saw this on a late movie.
What? Dane Clark.
Tried to pull the same con you are.
Maybe 1948, '50s.
Guess I missed it.
Guess you missed Hazlett, too.
Now, I don't know him.
Are you still buying? Yeah.
Good.
There you go, brother.
Thank you, my man.
Well, I hope you find this Hazlett before your money runs out.
Yeah.
You know Ted Hazlett? What? Ted.
You know him? Well, yeah, he's a close friend of mine.
He's a buddy of mine, too.
You're kidding? No.
Did you see that? I'm a little worried about our friend Ted.
What do you mean? Shipley.
Where's Hazlett? I don't know.
I just Please, Merle, can't you just go and check on him? I think she's right.
Listen, he could be in trouble.
This other guy went in there just before him.
Well, hey, men do that a lot in men's rooms, you know? I mean, like there's usually room for at least two.
Girls, wait a minute.
You can't go in there.
Look, he doesn't wanna know us, remember? Remember? Hey, trust the teach.
He can handle himself.
I wanna know where Ted is.
Spill it.
Now! Help! Come on, Shipley.
Are you all right? Hey, brah.
Thanks for the beer.
Well, at least we know Ted isn't cheating on Stacy.
Well, I mean, if the only thing he were doing were cheating, why would those other two men be so adamant about finding him? Maybe they were the other woman's brothers.
Stacy, you ever seen them before? I don't think so.
I didn't get a very good look at them.
Danny, it's the Halona Motel.
Turn left on Kalani.
The barmaid said Ted's staying there.
How does she know? She noticed the motel key on the table when she served him.
He had his name on the key? Uh-oh.
Just because she knew the name of the motel doesn't mean And the room number.
And the room number.
It doesn't mean that she stayed here with him.
Stacy.
She said she remembered him because he was dressed so nicely.
Stacy.
I mean, she probably just asked him his name.
Did you ever think of that? Stacy, you're the one who said he was cheating on you.
But not with her.
Ted's a banker.
He's got class.
Can't you just jump the wall and pick the lock? Are you kidding? That would be unlawful entry.
Excuse me! I threw away a check by mistake.
Can I have my trash bag back? Sorry, property of Koolau Sanitation now.
Well, look at it this way, I'll just be saving you the trouble of dumping it.
Who are you kidding? Sooner or later, I'll dump it anyway.
Okay, I'll buy it from you.
Five bucks.
How's about $20? Ted! Ted! Wait, it's me.
Ted! Hey, dude, where are you going? Let's go! Everybody into the van.
Come on.
Come on.
How do you start this thing? Hold on! Whoa! Is everybody okay? Yeah.
We're okay.
Yeah, you all right? Guess I should've told you guys I've been needing tires for a long time, you know.
Just take me back to the college.
I think I can still make the dropout deadline.
My favorite college courses were always those with some sort of lab work.
So there was a real sense of pride in finding myself sitting here conducting my own lab class.
Dissection of Motel Trash, Advanced.
Garbage is to the private investigator what the single cell is to the scientist.
A person is what a person throws away.
In this case, finding Ted Hazlett's trash was my only hope for a clue as to why he didn't want to be found.
And it was also my only shot at regaining credibility with a dwindling and skeptical class.
Is this really necessary? Kiana, look what we already know about the guy from the trash he threw out.
We know where he eats, where he works, what he drinks and Look! Here's a laundry ticket here with his name on it.
Jackpot.
Deposit receipts from Huiia Savings and Loan.
Ted doesn't have that kind of money.
Well, maybe he brought them home with his work.
No.
It's strictly against policy.
Oh, now wait a minute.
Ted's my fiancé.
We work at the same bank together.
I mean, I would know if he were doing anything illegal.
What in God's name have you done to Mildred's room? The trash is part of a lesson plan, Gaylord.
Don't worry, we'll clean it up when we're finished.
You are finished, Mr.
Magnum.
One of your students had the good sense to withdraw.
Merle? No, he missed the deadline.
His account of your off-campus antics was so bizarre that I thought a change of rules was in order.
This class is canceled.
Oh, come on, Mr.
Gaylord, you could at least give us a chance to explain.
Oh, yes, we must continue.
We've just found our first big clue.
Yeah.
Like, I'm actually motivated.
Please! You will all receive the same consideration given Mr.
Merle Bell.
Please come to the registrar's office and get your refund.
To tell you the truth, Higgins, I'm sorry it's over.
I thought it was something I could do without messing up.
I never realized spreading fertilizer could bring one such a sense of accomplishment.
Don't you think you're taking your martyrdom a bit too far? Oh, it isn't martyrdom.
Martyrs become martyrs for doing things right.
Yes, and you did everything wrong.
Yes.
And it cost me almost my entire life's savings doing it.
Eighty bucks for beer, Rick and T.
C.
's tuition.
All I got out of the investment was having to face the fact that nobody got anything out of my class.
Well, Stacy Dayton got a very important piece of information about her fiancé.
You provided her with just enough of a clue to leave her totally confused and distraught.
Of course, I understand why you can't help her continue her search.
It's imperative that you sit here in your agony because you failed as a teacher.
Please go shower and change.
You're soiling the couch.
All right.
I'll call Stacy and see if I can help.
What Wait a minute.
Wait.
How did you know about Stacy's problem? She told me.
Please, Thomas.
This wasn't just a classroom exercise to me.
It's the biggest problem I've ever had in my life.
I mean, up to now everything has been easy.
High school and college, my career.
Even my teeth were straight.
I've had a perfect life until now.
Ted is in real trouble.
I need your help.
I'll try, Stacy.
I'll try.
But I think I gotta tell you that I don't feel at my investigative best right now.
Your class disagrees.
We've all signed a petition to have you reinstated.
And Gaylord bought it? No.
But all your students believe in you.
Doesn't that count for something? Well, yeah.
Stacy, about Ted, we just don't have much to go on.
But we do.
These deposit receipts could be a big lead.
I checked the account number at the bank.
It belongs to a company called Central Grocers.
Their deposits over the last 90 days have totaled more than six million in cash.
Of course, grocery concerns deal mostly in cash transactions.
Right.
And they get exemptions from currency transaction reports.
Why do they get exempted? Because the bank can give an exemption to whomever they please.
And then they charge a service fee of 5%.
Fifty cents on every washed $10.
Well, I doubt if you'll still find the money in your local accommodating bank.
The funds have probably been transferred to an account in a tax-haven country.
I'm quite familiar with this sort of laundering scheme from my days with Ml6.
I remember one most intriguing case Do you have the phone number of this Central Grocers? Disconnected.
The address they gave was phony.
There was no D&B listing.
Probably a drug-running front.
Ted is not involved in narcotics.
Not narcotics, Stacy, narco-bucks.
People have a way of conveniently separating the two.
Not Ted.
Don't you see? That's why I know he must be in trouble.
He must have discovered what I did, and he probably knows who the inside person is at the bank.
I mean, why else would he go into hiding? But how can six million in cash end up in a bogus account without an accountant or somebody catching it? Probably by the most common method, first perfected by a small, provincial bank in northern France.
The deliveries are made in the most unobtrusive fashion.
Quite likely one of those most directly involved in the scheme will personally deliver the money to the bank official who's working with them.
The delivery is usually through a discreet, private entrance.
Do you recognize either one of them? There you go.
Mr.
Spencer.
The guy in the suit? He works at the bank? He's the vice-president.
Won't he know you're following him? Stacy, I do this all the time, remember? Sorry.
He'll probably change clothes and take off.
After he leaves, we'll go in and check his files.
Clever.
Very clever.
That must be Grider.
I thought you told the class that that was unlawful entry.
Right.
It is at certain times.
What certain times? When class is in session.
Freeze.
United States Treasury Department.
This ID doesn't give you the license to break and enter.
Or kill people.
He was like that when we found him.
And yours doesn't give you the right to crack ribs either.
You should have told us who you were at that bar.
Did I get a chance? More than he got.
You saw us come in.
You should have seen that car that pulled away.
We thought it was Grider.
What were you doing here? We're trying to find Ted Hazlett.
Now, where is he and what's he mixed up in? I don't know.
He gave the IRS a tip.
Before we could get the full story, he disappeared on us.
Must have got scared.
If you've got any idea where he is, you better tell us now, before anybody else gets hurt.
We wish we did know.
What tip? The money laundering scheme.
We've had Grider under surveillance for about a week.
Looks like his clients got nervous about being discovered and decided to terminate the arrangement.
Yeah, well, we're sorry we got in your way.
Can we go? Wait.
What about Ted? Stacy, they said they don't know where he is.
I'm sure he'll get back in touch with us in a couple of days, like they said.
Now, may I have my ID please? Oh.
I'm sorry.
It's been one of those weeks.
Yeah.
For us, too.
It fits a safe deposit box, right? And I thought you were just being a klutz back there.
You're right.
It's for a box at Huiia Savings.
You know, Blaylock might have had Grider killed if he thought he had something on him.
Something incriminating.
What? I thought they were the good guys.
Stacy, treasury agents don't use strong-arm tactics in bars.
Not honest ones anyway.
Excuse me.
Do you mean they killed Grider? Well, they must have been in on it.
I mean, how could they possibly have missed that car pulling away from the office? And if they actually are agents, then they will have no trouble at all framing Ted and getting off clean.
Unless there is something incriminating in that box.
Stacy, I don't think they're gonna wanna face the problem of framing him.
They'd rather just find him and make sure he doesn't talk.
Thomas, we've got to find Ted before they do.
To do that, we've gotta find out what's in Grider's box tomorrow.
And then we'll have a little class field trip.
But there is no class anymore.
Whoa, bummer.
Excuse me.
It's all right.
Go ahead with your work, Miss Dayton.
I'll take care of this young man.
Yes, sir.
You'd like to get into your safety deposit.
Well, yeah.
Well, I don't know.
Yeah, I guess.
You do have a box here? Well, sure.
It's just that Whoa, bummer.
I brought my AT&T stock.
It was my Standard Oil I wanted to stash in the freezer.
See ya.
Any time we can be of service.
Wow, like I hope I never have to find my way to Tacoma again.
Would you like to put something in your safety deposit box, sir? Yeah.
Sign this slip, please.
Thank you very much, Mr.
Grider.
Now, please follow me.
And what exactly was in the box, Magnum? Oh, names, dates, tapes of meetings, lists of corporate officers.
Some of the people involved are real shockers.
So what do you want out of this, Magnum? Oh, a finder's fee.
Nothing exorbitant.
Say, 10%% of whatever's recovered.
Say 1%%, and you're saying a fortune.
So I'm willing to negotiate.
Provided I'm guaranteed complete immunity.
The Treasury Department will want to see what you've got first.
Okay.
4:00, King Kamehameha Club.
I'm not a member.
Neither am I.
I know what you're thinking.
Forcing the issue with Blaylock was kind of like cramming for finals the night before.
But you can't be a student forever.
Sooner or later, you have to graduate.
You're early.
So are you.
Where's the stuff? Oh, right here.
Let's talk about it over a drink.
Hey.
I'm not thirsty.
Just hand it over.
Maps.
Hey, Mr.
C, we got road maps out here.
You're real funny, huh? Let's go, joker.
Careful of my ribs.
Come on.
Hi.
You guys wanna have a good time? No, lady.
Come on.
Flowers for the lady.
Beautiful, fresh No, thanks.
Will you ladies buzz off, please? is very nice.
Hey, what's going on? Is somebody gonna move that thing? Move it! You're in a handicapped space.
Just leave your keys in the car.
Hey! Hey, come on.
Hey, baby.
Hey.
Look, nobody parks the car, okay? Hey, valet parking only after 2:00.
Hey, I'm the manager here.
What's the problem? This guy wants to park his own car.
Nobody self parks.
Now, how many people are in your party? Now, look, there isn't any party.
Hold it! Perfect.
Welcome back to class, old students and new ones.
You'll be happy to hear that I talked to Dave Gibson this morning, and you'll all soon be able to register for Advanced Private Investigation 201.
All right.
Amazing what a little publicity will do for you.
Yeah, right.
Oh, and I'm also sorry to announce that we're gonna be losing the Hazletts.
They're off on a European honeymoon.
Aw! Thanks to Ted's reward money.
Some of that reward money belongs to you.
I hope it's close to your usual fee.
At least it's expenses.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm very touched.
And now, I think we should touch a couple of bases in order to wrap up that case, so we can get on to Merle's pick-up truck con artist.
Ted, why don't you tell us why you went into hiding in the first place.
All right.
Well, when I realized something fishy was going on, I called the Treasury Department right away.
I mean, I didn't know who at the bank was involved.
I talked to agent Blaylock, and he said he'd be right over to get a statement.
But when I called back to suggest that perhaps we meet someplace else besides the bank, nobody there seemed to know who I was or what I was talking about.
Well, then I got scared that maybe Agent Blaylock was a Treasury man gone bad.
But, of course, Blaylock was not the brains behind the operation.
No.
The head guy was a weasely guy by the name of Mr.
C.
Something someone found out from a guy named Ice Pick.
And when you couldn't find anything in the deposit box to incriminate Blaylock, you decided to bluff him.
And so you begged one of your class members to get on the phone and arrange plan B, the class field trip to the club.
Now, this certain class member was certainly glad to help, even though he missed a big fare to Maui.
And, of course, Shipley was just a thug who worked for Mr.
C.
And since this guy, Ice Pick, knew most of his associates, it was easy for him to trace down the actual hitman who took care of Grider.
And, when the license plate on Grider's van traced back to Mr.
C, you had the evidence to incriminate him.
So a quick phone call to get him to worry got him to the club also.
Your usual source for this license information was busy with this man called Ice Pick.
Thanks, guys.
Any questions? I got one or two.
Why didn't Blaylock or Shipley take care of you and Stacy at Grider's office? Yeah.
And, Ted, why did you throw away the receipts at the motel? I wanna know why you didn't confront Spencer at the bank instead of following Grider? Yeah, and And come to think of it, how come you just didn't give the cops the photos and be done with this? Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Who was Grider? - And why did they kill him? Yeah, like, I was wondering about the license plate on the van.
That Mr.
C was pretty stupid to use his real license plates.
You're not answering the questions, Mr.
Magnum.
Hey, where'd you come up with the idea about the garbage bag idea? I mean, I've never heard about anything like that.
We're on a field trip.
Relax I thought we were looking for Stacy's lost boyfriend.
Hey, trust the teach.
He can handle himself.
I wanna know where Ted is.
This wasn't just a classroom exercise to me.
Ted is in real trouble.
What in God's name have you done to Mildred's room? The trash is part of a lesson plan, Gaylord.
This class is canceled.
Whoa, bummer.
You sure you have everything? I got everything.
I'm all set, sweetheart.
Okay.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too, baby.
I'll go park and meet you at the gate.
Nah, there's not enough time, sweetheart.
I better just make a run for it.
I gotta go.
Bye-bye.
Wait.
Kiss.
Oh.
I love you.
Give me a call.
Let me know where you're staying.
Yeah.
Yeah, I promise.
Bye-bye.
Hey, you can't park here.
Five minutes.
I'm It's a loading zone.
I'm meeting someone.
Last call for flight 241 to Seattle.
Last call for flight 241 to Seattle.
My boyfriend left his ticket in the car.
Do you have someone looking for a ticket? That plane is departing right now.
Well, he Sorry.
Well, he can't have left.
Thank you.
There you go.
Yeah, thanks.
Thank you.
Have a nice day, Mr.
Hazlett.
Surveillance of any kind requires a high degree of professionalism.
Tailing the target requires intense concentration.
Relax for even a second, and he or she could simply vanish.
Or even worse, if you allow he or she to recognize you as an adversary, then he or she might instigate direct confrontation, which the Surgeon General has declared to be Hazardous to your health.
Strike that.
That stinks.
Your discretion is commendable.
Higgins, don't you ever knock? I just discovered Mr.
Masters' stereo wall has an ugly, gaping wound on the left side.
Oh, I'm sorry, Higgins.
Look, I'll put it back just as soon as I finish my idea vocabulary.
Look.
Dare to Achieve.
A Guidebook to Successful Motivation.
See, I'm using it to prepare my first lesson plan.
See, the way you get your idea vocabulary is you let all your thoughts just kinda drop out of your brain in no particular order, and then you store them on tape for future use.
You dropped one.
Oh, that's pizza.
I didn't have time to stop work and take a break, Higgins.
It didn't get down on the machine.
Surely a highly sensitive $2,000 recording device merits better use than the logging of non-sequitured musings and the indignity of mozzarella droppings.
Higgins, please, at least let me play back what I've done and take some notes.
I've got my first class tomorrow and I don't have a lesson plan.
Magnum, how long have you known that you were going to teach this course? Two weeks! But, I mean, I've been busy on a case, Higgins.
I mean, after all, that's why they asked me to teach the class, remember? I am a working private investigator.
Certainly not because you're on a volleyball team with the Director of Adult Education of the college.
No.
Okay, so Dave Gibson and I play an occasional game of volleyball.
Big deal.
You really expect to fill 20 hours with this course? Aren't you afraid you'll be overdrawn at your idea bank? It's idea vocabulary, Higgins, and please, just let me keep it for this chapter.
You know, Kenji was suddenly called away from the estate this morning.
A death in the family.
Oh, I'm sorry.
What's this got to do with your generosity? Well, he was in the midst of fertilizing the hibiscus beds.
Someone needs to finish it.
I haven't the time.
Sure.
How difficult could that be? And the hibiscus needs only one more ton of manure.
A ton? Do you want the tape recorder or not? All right.
But for a ton of manure, I get to keep it for as long as I'm teaching the class.
Your class will probably be canceled after today.
Oh, no, no.
It's right here in your prospectus.
"Private Investigation 101.
"A fascinating in-depth study of the world of private investigation "taught by professional private investigator, Thomas Magnum.
20 hours.
" Provided there is sufficient interest in the course to provide minimum enrollment.
Oh, it's no problem.
Dave is expecting a big sign-up.
Mr.
Magnum, Mr.
Gibson is a very fine administrator.
However, his impulsive additions to our curriculum in the past have proven to be unsuccessful experiments.
He felt passionately about a course called Ocean Hydrodynamics.
It had a total enrollment of one.
Himself.
Mr.
Gaylord, this is not Ocean Hydrodynamics, okay? I am teaching a beginner's class in a profession.
Perhaps.
But you will admit that in the general body of our other offerings, it does appear to be rather superfluous.
No.
No, I won't admit that.
Look at this.
"Eighteenth Century Portuguese Literature, "Politics of the Vatican, "A History of European Metallurgy.
" And you call my course superfluous? Room 214.
Look at this.
This one's so superfluous it's already been canceled.
"Applied Metaphysics, Mildred Gaylord.
" Geez.
My wife.
Her course was canceled by a Mr.
Gibson to make room for yours.
Well, good luck with your enrollment, Mr.
Magnum.
I will be very interested in the total.
The college has a policy.
Eight students per course.
Eight? All I need is eight? Eight.
Welcome to all five of you to Private Investigation 101.
I'm sure there'll be lots more students coming along in just a few minutes.
In the meantime Thomas Magnum.
You can call me You can call me anything you want.
Right.
Well, I was planning on dividing this class into two parts.
The first part will be the classroom lectures, and then the second part I think you're going to like this.
The second part will be where we go out on the streets for what I call an actual field study case.
What kind of field study case? Well, I'm glad you asked that because that's what we need.
We need some classroom participation.
What's your name? Merle.
What kind of field study case? Well, I was planning to use a case that, that I had already solved a couple of years ago and then re-enacting my investigative procedure.
What if somebody in the class has some cases that weren't solved? Now, why can't we work on that? That's a great idea! Mrs.
Anawahi.
Elena.
I have a half dozen cases to work on.
Bad checks.
Elena's Gift Shop on Diamond Head.
The amount's too small for the police to take care of, so I thought I'd learn how to do it myself.
You're welcome to help me find some of these deadbeats.
After we catch the louse that sold me the junk truck.
I paid this dude Hold it.
Hold it, hold it.
Merle, I don't think a real case is a good idea.
Why not? Because you're only paying $25 for the course.
That's not the point.
See, the point is, if we go out on one of your cases Well, you'll be happy to know I don't have one.
Ah.
Kiana Dau.
I'm a journalism major.
Here strictly for research.
Is she right, Magnum? You think we're here trying to rip you off? No.
No, that's not the case at all.
It's just It's hard enough for one guy to tail a suspect, But can you imagine how conspicuous six of us Seven of us.
Seven of us would be? I mean, that's why a real case just It just doesn't work.
P.
I.
101? Private Investigation 101.
That is, if we get two more students.
Stacy Dayton.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Why can't you take us out investigating a few at a time? Maybe have more than one case.
No See, that is another problem.
Elena, you and Merle both have people that you want to find.
I mean, how could we possibly choose which one to pursue? Right.
I mean, would you stop giving Mr.
Magnum such a hard time? I mean, he's already got this nice, pre-solved case for us all worked out.
I mean, we should be grateful.
Yeah.
Well, not me.
Adios.
Fine.
No, fine.
That's fine.
We'll do a show of hands.
First Elena's check bouncers and then Merle's truck salesman.
Thank you.
Well, hey.
Like, what about everybody else, huh? I mean, can't we have problems, too? Okay, you got a prob If you have a problem, all of you, any of you, just write it down on a piece of paper.
Okay? You know? If you have one.
Now, just write 'em down on a piece of paper, and then we'll put them in this, and whichever one we choose will be our case.
Okay? Is that fair? Hey, you're doing the right thing, you know? I mean, like a real case.
Yeah, we'll be having a real P.
I.
Experience, you know? Private investigation can be great fun.
What is your name? Danny.
Yeah, like my old man was on my case about getting a job and stuff, you know.
So I go, "Hey.
" I mean, there's worse ways to earn a living, right? Well, I mean, you work your own hours, you pull down the big bucks.
Yeah.
Girls really dig it, too, right? Like it's pretty laid back, huh? Sure.
And after you finish this, all you need are 2,000 hours of investigative work to get your license.
Two thousand? Whoa, bummer.
Where did you get your experience, Mr.
Magnum? Well Naval Intelligence.
He was a Lieutenant Commander.
I'm a retired librarian.
Albert Leonard.
I just did a little basic research on you.
First step in an investigation, I believe? Four.
Four potential cases.
Kiana, since you don't have a case, why don't you hold that, and Albert.
Albert, why don't You don't have a case either, so if you'll pick them, we'll make that as fair as possible.
"I am running for my life from an unfriendly foreign power.
"If I don't find the hit man in 24 hours, "like, I'm dead, man.
" Well, I just put that in there for laughs, you know? I didn't figure you'd pick it or anything.
"I think my fiancé is cheating on me.
" I'm sorry.
I really do need help.
I have to find him.
Please help me.
And then the ticket agent assured me that no T.
Hazlett got on that flight to Seattle.
And a girlfriend of mine swears that she saw Ted coming out of a bar last night on the North Shore.
Well, we'll do some checking between now and the next class.
If he's on the island, he shouldn't be too hard to find.
The class, Mr.
Magnum, if you don't get enough students to continue, would you still help me find Ted? I can't pay your regular fee, but Stacy, there is going to be a class.
I think I can round up a couple of more students.
In the meantime, just try not to worry.
I'm sure there's a very innocent explanation.
Okay.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
And thank you.
Theodore Allen Hazlett.
Born August 27th, 1956 in Phoenix, Arizona.
Graduated Central Arizona University, 1979 with a degree in business administration.
Moved to Hawaii in 1981, currently employed as an officer with Huiia Savings and Loan.
His father was an only child and his mother has one deceased brother.
Therefore, we must conclude that he had no plans to visit a sick uncle in Seattle, as he told Stacy.
He did lie to me.
Whoa, gnarly! Any questions up till now? T.
C? Your knowledge of the target is most impressive.
Can you tell us how you collect your information? It's a basic skill of investigative work.
A very long and tedious process.
Records research? Right, Albert.
Records, like The DMV, voters registration, coroner's reports, court records, and some key people who provide inside street information, or something along those lines.
Among other things, yes.
T.
C: I've heard that some private investigators don't even do any of that bone-numbing research.
That they actually con other people to do it for them.
Yes, I've heard that also.
But, surely that can't be true.
Getting back to Ted.
The first step in a missing persons investigation Mr.
Magnum, you haven't answered the question.
I'm afraid little purpose would be served by an answer, Miss Dau, since I have the unfortunate duty to post a cancellation to this class.
I find only six enrollments.
I think if you count heads again, Mr.
Gaylord, you'll come up with eight.
Please come to the office immediately after the bell.
We do have a sign-up procedure.
Should anyone wish to know, today is the semester deadline for dropping out of a course and receiving a full refund.
Good day.
It's official! P.
I.
101 Private Investigation 101 is in! Whoa, radical! All right! Now, as I was saying, the first step in a missing persons investigation is to visit the target's last known whereabouts.
But since in this case he was last seen at a very large airport, we have to take the next most logical step.
His last alleged whereabouts.
Danny, the bar is just a couple of more miles.
It's The Pipeline, right, Stacy? Yeah.
That's where Deborah said she saw him.
Hey, like, you think I can get some mileage money? I mean, nobody told me we were gonna carpool it.
I'll pay for the beers when we get there.
All right.
I'm totally stoked.
I haven't done anything like this since Y-Camp.
Right.
I haven't had this much fun since basic at Parris Island.
Aw, come on, Merle, we're on a field trip.
Relax and enjoy the party.
Now, remember, when we go in the place, it's doubles and singles, and you don't know me.
So then how are you gonna pay for the beer, huh? I'll handle it, Danny.
Order all you want.
That's a lot of beer.
These boys drink their weight in beer.
You wanna buy them all they want? Yeah.
And anybody else who comes in.
Yeah, well, we don't get that much business this time of day.
Well Hey, how are you doing, man? Good.
All right.
Drinks on the house! This guy's buying.
Thank you, thank you.
That's so sweet Great.
Radical.
Thank you.
You always go around buying people beers? No, actually, I'm just kind of celebrating.
I came into some money.
An aunt I didn't even know.
Guess you never will now.
No.
Yeah, I'm just paying off some old debts.
Listen, I hear Ted Hazlett drops in here occasionally.
I owe him a couple of hundred.
You seen him lately? Saw this on a late movie.
What? Dane Clark.
Tried to pull the same con you are.
Maybe 1948, '50s.
Guess I missed it.
Guess you missed Hazlett, too.
Now, I don't know him.
Are you still buying? Yeah.
Good.
There you go, brother.
Thank you, my man.
Well, I hope you find this Hazlett before your money runs out.
Yeah.
You know Ted Hazlett? What? Ted.
You know him? Well, yeah, he's a close friend of mine.
He's a buddy of mine, too.
You're kidding? No.
Did you see that? I'm a little worried about our friend Ted.
What do you mean? Shipley.
Where's Hazlett? I don't know.
I just Please, Merle, can't you just go and check on him? I think she's right.
Listen, he could be in trouble.
This other guy went in there just before him.
Well, hey, men do that a lot in men's rooms, you know? I mean, like there's usually room for at least two.
Girls, wait a minute.
You can't go in there.
Look, he doesn't wanna know us, remember? Remember? Hey, trust the teach.
He can handle himself.
I wanna know where Ted is.
Spill it.
Now! Help! Come on, Shipley.
Are you all right? Hey, brah.
Thanks for the beer.
Well, at least we know Ted isn't cheating on Stacy.
Well, I mean, if the only thing he were doing were cheating, why would those other two men be so adamant about finding him? Maybe they were the other woman's brothers.
Stacy, you ever seen them before? I don't think so.
I didn't get a very good look at them.
Danny, it's the Halona Motel.
Turn left on Kalani.
The barmaid said Ted's staying there.
How does she know? She noticed the motel key on the table when she served him.
He had his name on the key? Uh-oh.
Just because she knew the name of the motel doesn't mean And the room number.
And the room number.
It doesn't mean that she stayed here with him.
Stacy.
She said she remembered him because he was dressed so nicely.
Stacy.
I mean, she probably just asked him his name.
Did you ever think of that? Stacy, you're the one who said he was cheating on you.
But not with her.
Ted's a banker.
He's got class.
Can't you just jump the wall and pick the lock? Are you kidding? That would be unlawful entry.
Excuse me! I threw away a check by mistake.
Can I have my trash bag back? Sorry, property of Koolau Sanitation now.
Well, look at it this way, I'll just be saving you the trouble of dumping it.
Who are you kidding? Sooner or later, I'll dump it anyway.
Okay, I'll buy it from you.
Five bucks.
How's about $20? Ted! Ted! Wait, it's me.
Ted! Hey, dude, where are you going? Let's go! Everybody into the van.
Come on.
Come on.
How do you start this thing? Hold on! Whoa! Is everybody okay? Yeah.
We're okay.
Yeah, you all right? Guess I should've told you guys I've been needing tires for a long time, you know.
Just take me back to the college.
I think I can still make the dropout deadline.
My favorite college courses were always those with some sort of lab work.
So there was a real sense of pride in finding myself sitting here conducting my own lab class.
Dissection of Motel Trash, Advanced.
Garbage is to the private investigator what the single cell is to the scientist.
A person is what a person throws away.
In this case, finding Ted Hazlett's trash was my only hope for a clue as to why he didn't want to be found.
And it was also my only shot at regaining credibility with a dwindling and skeptical class.
Is this really necessary? Kiana, look what we already know about the guy from the trash he threw out.
We know where he eats, where he works, what he drinks and Look! Here's a laundry ticket here with his name on it.
Jackpot.
Deposit receipts from Huiia Savings and Loan.
Ted doesn't have that kind of money.
Well, maybe he brought them home with his work.
No.
It's strictly against policy.
Oh, now wait a minute.
Ted's my fiancé.
We work at the same bank together.
I mean, I would know if he were doing anything illegal.
What in God's name have you done to Mildred's room? The trash is part of a lesson plan, Gaylord.
Don't worry, we'll clean it up when we're finished.
You are finished, Mr.
Magnum.
One of your students had the good sense to withdraw.
Merle? No, he missed the deadline.
His account of your off-campus antics was so bizarre that I thought a change of rules was in order.
This class is canceled.
Oh, come on, Mr.
Gaylord, you could at least give us a chance to explain.
Oh, yes, we must continue.
We've just found our first big clue.
Yeah.
Like, I'm actually motivated.
Please! You will all receive the same consideration given Mr.
Merle Bell.
Please come to the registrar's office and get your refund.
To tell you the truth, Higgins, I'm sorry it's over.
I thought it was something I could do without messing up.
I never realized spreading fertilizer could bring one such a sense of accomplishment.
Don't you think you're taking your martyrdom a bit too far? Oh, it isn't martyrdom.
Martyrs become martyrs for doing things right.
Yes, and you did everything wrong.
Yes.
And it cost me almost my entire life's savings doing it.
Eighty bucks for beer, Rick and T.
C.
's tuition.
All I got out of the investment was having to face the fact that nobody got anything out of my class.
Well, Stacy Dayton got a very important piece of information about her fiancé.
You provided her with just enough of a clue to leave her totally confused and distraught.
Of course, I understand why you can't help her continue her search.
It's imperative that you sit here in your agony because you failed as a teacher.
Please go shower and change.
You're soiling the couch.
All right.
I'll call Stacy and see if I can help.
What Wait a minute.
Wait.
How did you know about Stacy's problem? She told me.
Please, Thomas.
This wasn't just a classroom exercise to me.
It's the biggest problem I've ever had in my life.
I mean, up to now everything has been easy.
High school and college, my career.
Even my teeth were straight.
I've had a perfect life until now.
Ted is in real trouble.
I need your help.
I'll try, Stacy.
I'll try.
But I think I gotta tell you that I don't feel at my investigative best right now.
Your class disagrees.
We've all signed a petition to have you reinstated.
And Gaylord bought it? No.
But all your students believe in you.
Doesn't that count for something? Well, yeah.
Stacy, about Ted, we just don't have much to go on.
But we do.
These deposit receipts could be a big lead.
I checked the account number at the bank.
It belongs to a company called Central Grocers.
Their deposits over the last 90 days have totaled more than six million in cash.
Of course, grocery concerns deal mostly in cash transactions.
Right.
And they get exemptions from currency transaction reports.
Why do they get exempted? Because the bank can give an exemption to whomever they please.
And then they charge a service fee of 5%.
Fifty cents on every washed $10.
Well, I doubt if you'll still find the money in your local accommodating bank.
The funds have probably been transferred to an account in a tax-haven country.
I'm quite familiar with this sort of laundering scheme from my days with Ml6.
I remember one most intriguing case Do you have the phone number of this Central Grocers? Disconnected.
The address they gave was phony.
There was no D&B listing.
Probably a drug-running front.
Ted is not involved in narcotics.
Not narcotics, Stacy, narco-bucks.
People have a way of conveniently separating the two.
Not Ted.
Don't you see? That's why I know he must be in trouble.
He must have discovered what I did, and he probably knows who the inside person is at the bank.
I mean, why else would he go into hiding? But how can six million in cash end up in a bogus account without an accountant or somebody catching it? Probably by the most common method, first perfected by a small, provincial bank in northern France.
The deliveries are made in the most unobtrusive fashion.
Quite likely one of those most directly involved in the scheme will personally deliver the money to the bank official who's working with them.
The delivery is usually through a discreet, private entrance.
Do you recognize either one of them? There you go.
Mr.
Spencer.
The guy in the suit? He works at the bank? He's the vice-president.
Won't he know you're following him? Stacy, I do this all the time, remember? Sorry.
He'll probably change clothes and take off.
After he leaves, we'll go in and check his files.
Clever.
Very clever.
That must be Grider.
I thought you told the class that that was unlawful entry.
Right.
It is at certain times.
What certain times? When class is in session.
Freeze.
United States Treasury Department.
This ID doesn't give you the license to break and enter.
Or kill people.
He was like that when we found him.
And yours doesn't give you the right to crack ribs either.
You should have told us who you were at that bar.
Did I get a chance? More than he got.
You saw us come in.
You should have seen that car that pulled away.
We thought it was Grider.
What were you doing here? We're trying to find Ted Hazlett.
Now, where is he and what's he mixed up in? I don't know.
He gave the IRS a tip.
Before we could get the full story, he disappeared on us.
Must have got scared.
If you've got any idea where he is, you better tell us now, before anybody else gets hurt.
We wish we did know.
What tip? The money laundering scheme.
We've had Grider under surveillance for about a week.
Looks like his clients got nervous about being discovered and decided to terminate the arrangement.
Yeah, well, we're sorry we got in your way.
Can we go? Wait.
What about Ted? Stacy, they said they don't know where he is.
I'm sure he'll get back in touch with us in a couple of days, like they said.
Now, may I have my ID please? Oh.
I'm sorry.
It's been one of those weeks.
Yeah.
For us, too.
It fits a safe deposit box, right? And I thought you were just being a klutz back there.
You're right.
It's for a box at Huiia Savings.
You know, Blaylock might have had Grider killed if he thought he had something on him.
Something incriminating.
What? I thought they were the good guys.
Stacy, treasury agents don't use strong-arm tactics in bars.
Not honest ones anyway.
Excuse me.
Do you mean they killed Grider? Well, they must have been in on it.
I mean, how could they possibly have missed that car pulling away from the office? And if they actually are agents, then they will have no trouble at all framing Ted and getting off clean.
Unless there is something incriminating in that box.
Stacy, I don't think they're gonna wanna face the problem of framing him.
They'd rather just find him and make sure he doesn't talk.
Thomas, we've got to find Ted before they do.
To do that, we've gotta find out what's in Grider's box tomorrow.
And then we'll have a little class field trip.
But there is no class anymore.
Whoa, bummer.
Excuse me.
It's all right.
Go ahead with your work, Miss Dayton.
I'll take care of this young man.
Yes, sir.
You'd like to get into your safety deposit.
Well, yeah.
Well, I don't know.
Yeah, I guess.
You do have a box here? Well, sure.
It's just that Whoa, bummer.
I brought my AT&T stock.
It was my Standard Oil I wanted to stash in the freezer.
See ya.
Any time we can be of service.
Wow, like I hope I never have to find my way to Tacoma again.
Would you like to put something in your safety deposit box, sir? Yeah.
Sign this slip, please.
Thank you very much, Mr.
Grider.
Now, please follow me.
And what exactly was in the box, Magnum? Oh, names, dates, tapes of meetings, lists of corporate officers.
Some of the people involved are real shockers.
So what do you want out of this, Magnum? Oh, a finder's fee.
Nothing exorbitant.
Say, 10%% of whatever's recovered.
Say 1%%, and you're saying a fortune.
So I'm willing to negotiate.
Provided I'm guaranteed complete immunity.
The Treasury Department will want to see what you've got first.
Okay.
4:00, King Kamehameha Club.
I'm not a member.
Neither am I.
I know what you're thinking.
Forcing the issue with Blaylock was kind of like cramming for finals the night before.
But you can't be a student forever.
Sooner or later, you have to graduate.
You're early.
So are you.
Where's the stuff? Oh, right here.
Let's talk about it over a drink.
Hey.
I'm not thirsty.
Just hand it over.
Maps.
Hey, Mr.
C, we got road maps out here.
You're real funny, huh? Let's go, joker.
Careful of my ribs.
Come on.
Hi.
You guys wanna have a good time? No, lady.
Come on.
Flowers for the lady.
Beautiful, fresh No, thanks.
Will you ladies buzz off, please? is very nice.
Hey, what's going on? Is somebody gonna move that thing? Move it! You're in a handicapped space.
Just leave your keys in the car.
Hey! Hey, come on.
Hey, baby.
Hey.
Look, nobody parks the car, okay? Hey, valet parking only after 2:00.
Hey, I'm the manager here.
What's the problem? This guy wants to park his own car.
Nobody self parks.
Now, how many people are in your party? Now, look, there isn't any party.
Hold it! Perfect.
Welcome back to class, old students and new ones.
You'll be happy to hear that I talked to Dave Gibson this morning, and you'll all soon be able to register for Advanced Private Investigation 201.
All right.
Amazing what a little publicity will do for you.
Yeah, right.
Oh, and I'm also sorry to announce that we're gonna be losing the Hazletts.
They're off on a European honeymoon.
Aw! Thanks to Ted's reward money.
Some of that reward money belongs to you.
I hope it's close to your usual fee.
At least it's expenses.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm very touched.
And now, I think we should touch a couple of bases in order to wrap up that case, so we can get on to Merle's pick-up truck con artist.
Ted, why don't you tell us why you went into hiding in the first place.
All right.
Well, when I realized something fishy was going on, I called the Treasury Department right away.
I mean, I didn't know who at the bank was involved.
I talked to agent Blaylock, and he said he'd be right over to get a statement.
But when I called back to suggest that perhaps we meet someplace else besides the bank, nobody there seemed to know who I was or what I was talking about.
Well, then I got scared that maybe Agent Blaylock was a Treasury man gone bad.
But, of course, Blaylock was not the brains behind the operation.
No.
The head guy was a weasely guy by the name of Mr.
C.
Something someone found out from a guy named Ice Pick.
And when you couldn't find anything in the deposit box to incriminate Blaylock, you decided to bluff him.
And so you begged one of your class members to get on the phone and arrange plan B, the class field trip to the club.
Now, this certain class member was certainly glad to help, even though he missed a big fare to Maui.
And, of course, Shipley was just a thug who worked for Mr.
C.
And since this guy, Ice Pick, knew most of his associates, it was easy for him to trace down the actual hitman who took care of Grider.
And, when the license plate on Grider's van traced back to Mr.
C, you had the evidence to incriminate him.
So a quick phone call to get him to worry got him to the club also.
Your usual source for this license information was busy with this man called Ice Pick.
Thanks, guys.
Any questions? I got one or two.
Why didn't Blaylock or Shipley take care of you and Stacy at Grider's office? Yeah.
And, Ted, why did you throw away the receipts at the motel? I wanna know why you didn't confront Spencer at the bank instead of following Grider? Yeah, and And come to think of it, how come you just didn't give the cops the photos and be done with this? Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Who was Grider? - And why did they kill him? Yeah, like, I was wondering about the license plate on the van.
That Mr.
C was pretty stupid to use his real license plates.
You're not answering the questions, Mr.
Magnum.
Hey, where'd you come up with the idea about the garbage bag idea? I mean, I've never heard about anything like that.