Misfits Episode Scripts

Episode 4

You're that runner guy.
You screwed up big-time.
You noticed, yeah? What did you do? Me? I was done for eating some Pick'N'Mix.
Me and this girl I was seeing, Sam.
Police caught us.
I had one wrap on me.
She had the rest of it.
No one gets community service for possession.
They said cos of my profile, they needed to send a message.
They were the last people to see him.
They know something.
It's them.
Maybe he left you.
He'd never do that to me.
He wouldn't.
All this, it's already happened once.
What are you saying? What? You turned back time? Everything happened again! Exactly the same! They'll think the probation worker's still alive.
I stole his credit card.
I used it to book a flight.
I know you want to.
All I have to do is touch you.
Keith was talking to your mate and he's a dog, yeah? - It's doing my head in.
- Get her tits out.
You don't need to use your power on me.
I'm already there.
Curtis? Oh, my God! That is such a shamer.
Do you think he's told the others? Bashing himself out of it.
I'm pretty sure he told 'em.
And she was totally clicking the mouse off herself, man.
They were just, like, really face-to-face.
He was wanking, she was flicking her own bean, right in each other's face.
You should've filmed it.
Work that bean! Work that bean, Kelly, my love! - Shut up.
- You enjoyed it, you pervert.
What? Do you want to have a look too? No, thanks.
I'm okay.
Can I have another look? Prick.
Does anyone actually know what he got done for? - Says it was for eating Pick 'N' Mix.
- That's bullshit.
Are you two, like, together? Yeah, I guess.
It's weird, yeah? Cos of my bullshit power thing, we don't actually have proper sex.
We just stare at each other and wank ourselves off.
But it is really special.
- It's not gay cos we're not touching.
- All you want to do is get down - That's really disgusting.
- It's not fucking disgusting.
- When did you get out? - A few days ago.
It's good to see you.
You're saying Tony's walking round using his credit card.
So why has no one seen him? Because it's not him! Someone's stolen it.
If you're not going to do anything, then I will.
How was it in there? Well, wasn't a lot of laughs.
How you doing? How's community service? Is what it is, innit? Just need to get through it.
It's all so messed up.
Screwed our lives over a bit of coke.
You're out now.
You need to move on.
Do something different.
Think anyone's gonna give me a job with a conviction for dealing? I saw you with that girl.
Are you with her? She's beautiful.
It just happened, like.
I didn't mean it to.
There's stuff going on with me right now, things I can't tell you about.
Sam! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Why didn't you visit me? Cos I felt too guilty, innit? I asked you to buy the gear.
It should've been me that went prison.
- Things didn't work out like that.
- I told 'em.
I told the police it was for me and my mates.
They wouldn't listen.
Trust me, if I could do anything to change it, I would.
You should've visited me! I know.
I couldn't see you in there.
I couldn't look you in the eye.
So you hook up with someone else? She's helping you deal with it, is she? My life is fucked! And that's on you.
- We can't buy any drugs.
- What are you talking about? Have you got the money? - What? - Police! Stop! Police! Open the door right now! Bro, you're only making this worse for yourself.
Open up! Open the door! Shit! I need your help.
Do I know you? - Are you taking a shit? - What?! - There's a guy here taking a shit! - Shut up! Like me to grab you some toilet paper? I'm not taking a shit! - How do I know you again? - You don't.
I thought you were someone else.
Jog on.
Go! Have a good one.
Prick.
Hi, this is Sam.
Leave a message.
I'll call you back.
Sam, it's me.
Where are you? Call me.
Come on! Get in there, you beautiful bitch! So close.
Stop! Police! Stop! Stop! Police! Shit! But you're in the cool with the air-con.
Working in the kitchen, it's the same money, but it's boiling hot.
Hey, Bev, check this joker out.
Excuse me! You can't just help yourself to anything you fancy.
This is not a buffet.
That's theft.
I could have you arrested for that.
Really? For eating some Pick 'N' Mix? You're paying for the sweets in your mouth and for that drink.
"Beverley".
Isn't that a woman's name? Pay up and leave.
That's brilliant.
Why did your parents give you a girl's name? This is your final warning.
Maybe you were born with both sets of genitalia, like a chick with a dick.
Can I have Security to the concession stand, please? But your parents wanted a boy so they kept your cock and sewed up your clunge.
You're coming with me! I'm being assaulted by a chick with a dick! Help me! They sewed up his clunge! They sewed up his clunge! Help me! Where are you? What happened with the police? They let us go.
I'm with Danny.
He wants the drugs.
He says I won't leave until he gets 'em.
Tell him I'll give him his money.
You'll be all right, yeah? I'm on my way.
He's on his way! Stop it, stop it, stop it! He's having a fit! Quick, call an ambulance! Come on, you wanker! Let's have it! I need to go outside.
I'm off my tits.
Want me to come with you? Move! Get out of my face! Get out of my face! I was like you when I was younger.
I thought I knew everything.
I was a right cocky little arsehole.
And look where it got you! You got the big office, you got a staple gun, you're living the dream, man! - You think you're better than all this? - I know I'm better than this, because, Bev, if I'm not, I'll probably have to kill myself.
You haven't got a clue.
Look, I've done mucking around! You either pay for this damage or I'll call the police.
What's it to be? Call the police! No, wait, hold on, hold on.
I'll pay the damage.
All right? Actually you know, forget it.
Call the cops.
No, wait, don't, don't! I'll pay.
I'll pay! Stop dicking around! - Just take it.
Just take it! - Give me the card! Hold my hand, Bev! Hold it.
Who are you? Shit! Sorry, mate.
- I'll wipe it off you.
- No, no, you're getting it all over me.
You know, you're really nice, you are.
- Do you want to kiss me? - No, no.
You're all right.
I've got to go.
Mate! You forgot your money! It's expired, hasn't it!? Get someone down here right now! All right.
Okay.
You got the stuff? The police were on me.
I had to flush it.
Then you're paying for it.
Give me the money.
Shit! - Where's the money? - It's in my hoodie.
I gave it to Ke I gave it to this girl.
She's outside.
- Think you can play me, yeah? - I'll get it for you.
She's outside.
- Give me the fucking money! - I'll get it! Bullshit! You're not leaving! - Give me the fucking money! - I'll get it! Guys, save it! - Get the fuck off me! - Leave it! Get out of the way! - Sam, you've got to run! - All right? - Run! - You fucker! You fucking emo! Open the fucking door! Open it! Open it! I will fucking kill you.
Open it! Fuck! Prick.
Hi, this is Sam.
Leave a message.
I'll call you back.
Sam, it's me.
Where are you? Call me! Hi, Mum? Yeah, it's me.
How was Spain? Yeah, great.
Everything's fine.
It's all good.
There's just one little thing I need you to do for me.
- Are you all right? - What did you do? Are you out of your mind? I'll explain later.
Just stay where you are.
No, don't move! - I'm coming to you.
- What the fuck? Curtis! I need to go outside.
I'm off my tits.
- Move out of the way! - I'll come with you.
Out of the way! - Have you been here before? - Just once.
All right, so what are you doing after we're finished here? I was going to go back to my mate's.
You two can come back to my house.
Me and Duncan will go back.
I bought you a beer.
I got your text.
What text? You sent me a text telling me to meet you here.
I was texting my mate.
I meant a different Simon.
Who are you? I feel really better now.
Are you okay? What the fuck's going on? You need to trust me, all right? Call Danny.
- Tell him I'll give him his drugs back.
- He's going to kill you! I know what I'm doing.
Call him.
You're a dead man! I don't think so.
I think you wanna thank me, cuz.
- Right now, I'm your best mate.
- Down! - Police! Don't move! - I ain't fucking done nothing wrong.
Don't worry.
Stay calm.
Let's have a look.
Don't move.
I saw you run last year.
You were in a different league.
Turn around.
You don't need to be getting involved in this kind of thing.
Not with your profile.
Think, yeah? Sort yourself out.
Clean? Clean? I expect I'll be seeing you.
Come on.
Shit, man! God, I feel sick.
So, you'll be wanting your gear back, yeah? Your dad's here.
What are you doing here? Your mum called me from Spain.
What did you do? Nothin'.
I'm dragged out in the middle of the night because you did nothing? It looks that way.
It's a bitch, isn't it? - What's it going to cost me? - I don't want your money.
Really? Cos I don't see anybody else rushing down here to bail you out.
I didn't ask you to come and bail me out Don't be a wanker.
Thanks for the fatherly advice.
It makes me feel all warm inside.
- What do we owe you? - Beverley, - I don't want him paying for it.
- You want him to call the police? Yeah.
I do, actually.
Bev, call the police.
You heard the man.
Go on, call the police.
Call 'em! Are you still here? Police, please.
See ya, Dad.
Let's do this again sometime.
It's been really special.
You and your dad seem close.
Oh, shut up, Beverley! How'd you know they were there? I saw them in the club, so I stashed them here.
There was no time to warn you.
I owe you one, man.
Have 'em.
They're on me.
No, I'm good.
See you around.
We need to get so drunk.
I am kicking your arse.
- Come on.
Let's see what you've got.
- Come on, then.
That's the guy that gave me his hoodie.
He's really nice.
- Yeah? - Really nice.
Stand there.
I'll get the door.
I feel like shit.
Do you wanna marry me? What? That is so fuckin' romantic.
I know you.
You're that runner guy.
What are you smiling about? Is it a secret? I just changed history.
I I changed the future.
Just so you know saying things like that is a real turn-off.
She'll have a vodka tonic with a little bit of lime.
How'd you know what I drink? Have we? But we will.
Where's the car? Are we on the right level? It was right here.
Someone's nicked it, haven't they? Wankers! Tony! Stop it.
Stop it.
It's a car.
It's insured.
Your engagement ring was in there! Were you going to propose to me? Can I still say yes? If they'd have caught us with the drugs, we would've been screwed.
It didn't happen.
Everything's going to be all right.
We got away with it.
We did it.
I'll get us a couple more drinks.
What are you saying? What? Yeah, I'll be at the track in about What? Listen, I'll be a little bit late.
There's someone I need to see.
It's you.
What? Do I know you? I thought you were someone else.
What happened? We were doing our community service and the probation worker flipped out.
Just Just went crazy and then Then he killed them.
How come you survived? They said I was half dead when they found me.
I guess I'm just lucky.
- I didn't stop him.
- What's that? Did you know them? I wasn't there.
I wasn't there.
I should've been caught I could've stopped this.
I wasn't there.
I wasn't there.
Who sold it to you? It's only one wrap.
Come on! I'm a good girl, really.
You're not flirting your way out.
You either tell me who sold it to you or you get done for possession.
It's up to you.
It's him.
Guy in the black jacket.
Go on.
Piss off! You got the money? Police! Open the door right now! You're making this worse for yourself! Open up! You've got nowhere to go.
Open up! Don't waste my time! Arms up.
Looks like you forgot to flush one.
I'm arresting you for possession.
I saw you running last year.
- They'll ban you for this.
- What's going to happen to her? She didn't have anything on her.
She's free to go.
Come on.
It's good to see you.
You saw me yesterday.
- What you doing? - Trust me.
We need to lock the door.
Are you two shagging in there? Fuck off you pervert! - Well, how long you gonna be? - Will you piss off? Okay.
Just give us a shout when you're done.
Does anyone actually know what he got done for? - Says it was for eating Pick'N'Mix.
- That's bullshit.
- Are you two, like, together? - Yeah, I guess.
It's weird, yeah.
Cos of my bullshit power thing, we don't actually have proper sex.
We just stare at each other and wank ourselves off.
But it is really special.
Come on.
It's not gay if I wank you off with the grabber.
We're not touching.
All you wanna do is get down to it, but you can't.
- That's disgusting.
- It's not fucking disgusting.
- What are you doing here? - I was in the neighbourhood.
I miss you when you're stuck here all day.
Are you just going to stand there or are you going to do something about it? Shit! Pervert! - He's such a twat.
- He is a twat.
We have outfoxed the fox, which makes us very bloody foxy.
It's not easy being you, is it? Have you seen Curtis? I'm his girlfriend.
Do you want a lift? It isn't how it sounds.
How long have you been with her? - Do you want to call round for dinner? - Are you asking me around for sex? - Nathan's stealing a baby.
- It's all right.
- Why would he take a baby? - You're acting like a freak.
What have I told you about filming us on that thing? Well, look at you, using your powers, being all superhero.
They're the only friends I've got.