Mission Impossible (1966) s03e09 Episode Script

The Play

Good morning, Mr.
Phelps.
The man you're looking at is Milos Kuro, minister of culture and director of the national theatre of the UCR.
Kuro has been bombarding his people with vicious anti-American propaganda in order to discredit the UCR's premier, Leon Vados.
Considered a progressive behind the Iron Curtain, Vados is attempting to negotiate a non-aggression pact between his country and ours.
Your mission, Jim, should you decide to accept it, is to stop Kuro before he destroys all hopes for peace between our two countries.
As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
Please dispose of this recording in the usual manner.
Good luck, Jim.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
- Now, what did you hear? - Just your counting, Jim.
- You didn't hear the shots? - No, but why? Radar.
Creates a sound envelope.
The only thing you can hear inside is what's piped in.
Then where the premier sits will be critical.
Unless he's seated directly under the disc, it's all over, Cinnamon.
How about the ads? They start running in tomorrow's newspapers.
I'll be doing interviews right up until the opening.
Good.
Well, keep them controversial.
I don't want Kuro to be able to open a newspaper or turn on a television set without seeing you.
You all set for the mob scene, Rollin? Yes, Jim.
We'll have enough actors to pose as police and pickets and probably get some good newspaper coverage.
Also pick up some real fanatics.
Good, then we're all set to give Mr.
Kuro the most anti-American propaganda weapon he's ever had.
The swine.
He waits until I am out of the country to preach his revisionist poison.
But what harm does he do? Here in America, it is reported, yes.
But at home, not one word.
In our press, the news is still of American imperialism in Southeast Asia.
These pictures show what coexistence really means.
This is the kind of creative propaganda I can use.
Good evening.
Lee Conrad, State Department.
Yes, Mr.
Conrad.
Come in, please.
Thank you.
Your Excellency.
I've been assigned to arrange an evening of entertainment for you.
I've had almost a week of your State Department's organised boredom.
Since tonight is my last night in your country, I'd prefer to spend it without a watchdog.
I'm not a watchdog, Your Excellency.
I'm your host.
I'm quite sure you'll enjoy the evening I have planned for you.
I've read about this play.
Premier Vados and your president are the only two characters.
That's correct.
I trust you have a sense of humour.
I'm curious to see what you Americans think is funny.
What does she mean, trying to put on a play like that? What's this country coming to? It's opening night and there's an angry and almost violent crowd here at the Delphi Theatre where Joan Vincent's play, At the Summit, is to have its premiere.
- She ought to be deported.
- Traitor! Why don't you get out? Get out.
Let's move in a little closer and see what's happening.
It is a violent disagreement over the political argument that's offered in the play.
Now here's the authoress over here, Miss Vincent.
What do you think of this demonstration? - What's your reaction? - Get a shot of that.
Look, you know as well as I do, you cannot lock up ideas with a padlock.
You're the one that ought to be locked up.
- You lousy traitor! Traitor! - Yeah! Dissent is not treason.
It's guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States of America.
If you don't like it here, why don't you get out? Yeah! All right, back off, back off.
Everybody back.
I want everybody to clear this area.
Right now, clear the area.
Look, the police can close up the theatre, but they cannot stop you from reading my play.
- Yeah, that's right.
- Here, take a copy of that.
Go on, you take that home.
Read it.
Go on, you take that home.
Read it now.
Give that a good read.
You'll find out what that says about the rights of the people.
Here, you are, sir.
Hey, aren't you Milos Kuro? Joan, come here.
This is Milos Kuro from the UCR.
It seems that government censorship has ruined our evening.
Government has nothing to do with this, sir.
- This is a local matter.
- Well, it's governmental.
It's local, state, city or country.
Any way you map this, this is censorship.
What do you call this in your country? In the UCR, there is no such thing as censorship.
There, we do not fear new ideas.
We welcome them.
In that case, what are the chances of doing the play in your country? Well, it's not fair to ask that without my having seen the play.
Well, if that's all that it takes, you will see it.
Yes, all right, all right.
I agree, Mr.
Premier.
An alliance.
Alliance, Mr.
President.
Alliance has been defined as two thieves, each with his hands so entangled in the other man's pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.
It appears at this point there may not be a third.
Still, Mr.
President Still, it means peace.
On the darkened wall the flags of both countries slowly materialise.
Peace.
Peace was once described as a period of cheating between two wars.
A period of cheating? Perhaps.
- But still a period.
- Yes, a period.
Curtain.
It's superb.
You are a great talent.
And you gentlemen were perfect.
Subtle, satiric, but in no way caricatures.
Marvellous.
Does that mean you'll allow us to do the play in the UCR? Oh, yes.
Our people must see this, even if yours cannot.
I promise you a top production.
And even though we are not bound by copyright laws with your country, I promise you full royalties and dramatist prerogatives.
Miss Vincent, you cannot do this.
If your play is produced in the UCR, you'd be branded as a traitor here in the United States.
Well, I hope not.
Look, I don't care.
I spent two years writing this play.
I wanna see it done.
We're ready to leave, the sooner the better.
You, of course, must be there to handle whatever changes during rehearsals.
But for the actors, I shall use the two greatest stars of my country, Vitol Enzor and Anton Usakos.
But you said it yourself, Evanson and Peters are perfect.
Well, yes, but in the UCR, they are unknown.
We need our stars to attract the audience.
But I promised Sam and Jimmy.
I do it with Enzor and Usakos or I don't do it at all.
Barney, this is the area above the balcony.
What's departure time? Confirm both reservations.
Thank you.
- Your plane leaves in an hour.
- Right.
Jim, can you get back into the UCR on time? Yeah, that won't be a problem.
We've got another one.
Nobody is allowed inside that theatre at any time without a special clearance.
Somebody planted a bomb last week.
The place is locked up tighter than Fort Knox.
That's right, Jim.
Guards inside and out, each one with a sentry dog.
Comrade Enzor, how do you do? My name is I know.
I know who you are.
Come in.
Ask your questions and get out.
Questions? No, just answers.
Answers? From the secret police? Since when does a member of the secret police have an American passport? "David Morgan.
" The Broadway producer? Yes.
I have a proposition for you.
So King Lear on Broadway.
That is what you offer me.
Well, we guarantee at $6,000 a week in American dollars.
How often do I have to prove my loyalty? Haven't I performed what I've been told, where I've been told? All right, for the hundredth time: I love my country, I love our glorious premier, I love Propaganda Minister Kuro.
I am honoured to be a people's artist, and I have no desire to leave the country.
You idiot.
Don't you understand? I'm not from your secret police.
I am David Morgan.
Even if what you say is true, you know I am not allowed to leave the country.
That we can take care of.
Now there is a contract, a run-of-the-play contract, already signed.
Here's a certified cheque, $50,000, negotiable anywhere in the United States.
This will get you out of the country.
But this is your passport.
Yes.
Which should be no problem for an actor of your range.
He only bites when I tell him to.
I have a table for backstage.
You're absolutely brilliant at makeup.
In our country, actors master every nuance of their art.
Now I'll show you the light panel.
What are you doing? They've brought the conference table.
Thank you.
A miracle.
For once, they sent exactly what was described in the script.
It's perfect.
Oh, by the way, I have a few little dialogue changes to suggest.
Nothing major.
You know, this could work.
Oh, yes.
Well, you'd better get started.
Well, I'll get packed.
No, no.
All you can take is what I brought into the country.
You can't take anything along that can identify you at the border.
But my awards, my pictures, my mementos.
Everything you need is in the back of my limousine.
- But to leave behind a lifetime - I'm sorry, but there's no other way if you want to start a new life.
Good luck.
One thing puzzles me.
If I have your passport, how will you get out of the country? I'll tell you that when I see you in New York.
Mr.
Morgan.
Ready, sir? No, it's not the same.
That changes the entire meaning of the scene.
It doesn't change it.
It intensifies the meaning.
Drives the point home.
Drives, yes.
Like a sledgehammer.
Good.
Then they'll remember.
We'll have succeeded in making them change their way of thinking.
Not this way.
It's not theatre.
- It's dull, bald propaganda.
- The war for men's minds.
Whoever wins that war will win everything.
Sorry to be late.
I apologise, my dear.
I was reading your lovely script and lost all track of time.
Nonsense, each of our stars arrives late because neither wants to be kept waiting by the other.
Enzor is not here? How dare he keep me waiting.
It is not I who has kept you waiting.
It was those fool guards with their dogs.
Well, let's not waste any more time.
Let's get to work.
All right, let's try it again.
From the start of Act 2.
Don't press.
We're just reading for understanding.
And, Enzor, a little slower, if you please, to give me a chance to express some meaning.
Like Kuro, I'd be grateful if you could just express some understanding.
You would be grateful? Please, gentlemen.
It's a reading.
Just for comprehension.
And a little slower.
All right, where are we? Mr.
Premier, you should thank the god you don't believe in for imperialists.
Anti-imperialism is finished without us.
Perhaps.
You know, you sound like a clergyman: Grateful for the existence of evil, since without it, he'd be out of business.
Business? Business is simple, it's money.
Other people's money.
- Which brings us back to - Only the root of it.
Enzor, will you please stop stepping on my lines? Your line was finished.
Perhaps what Mr.
Usakos means is that there's more to a speech than just the words.
Exactly, my dear.
Thank you.
You are very understanding to let something of my inner feelings come out.
Is that altogether a good idea? Enough.
Enough for this session.
Learn the lines as quickly as you can.
I want to get this play on its feet.
I want to talk to you.
I am simply trying to perform the role.
You know how I perform a role.
Don't you? Well? - Did I provoke him? - You provoked him, you provoked me, you provoked all of us all day long.
I was simply talking about the role.
That's all I'm interested in.
- I am interested in the part.
- You are behaving like a child.
All right, all right.
I'll try not to offend the old woman.
You better do more than try, Vitol.
This play has become very important to me.
More important than your future.
- Any others? - That's everything.
You may pass.
Wait.
The arts medal of the UCR.
Where did you get this? Where did you get this? "Presented to Comrade Vitol Enzor.
" Where did you get this? Mr.
Morgan is unaccustomed to being questioned this way.
We are not unaccustomed to dealing with thieves.
But you are mistaken.
Mr.
Enzor gave this medallion to Mr.
Morgan as a memento.
Well, then why did he not declare it? Why was it hidden? American Customs.
Why should Mr.
Morgan have to pay import duty on it? I'm sure you understand that.
Why don't you call Mr.
Enzor if you don't believe what he's saying? Have it verified.
I'll pay for the call.
Call him if you don't believe me.
There is no need.
You may pass.
I was so frightened I almost forgot, in this country there's always one acceptable explanation in such matters.
Anton, why can't you be reasonable? I cannot work with him.
It is impossible.
- I have had a long talk with him.
- He is not a professional.
Then you must be the professional.
Pay no attention to him.
When you work with a pig, how do you not pay attention to the smell? Actors.
Children.
All right.
Let's start again from where we left off.
Your line, Vitol.
"I think, Mr.
President, we can stop fencing, et cetera.
" I'm sure we do.
We want power.
Total power.
But that we cannot quite have.
Neither of us.
Not in this era of nuclear weapons.
- Mr.
Premier - You know, just a moment.
Instead of what is indicated here, what if I walk away from him after that line as if I could see the impending holocaust? And while you are seeing this vision, what do I do? Play to your back? Don't change the blocking.
I am only thinking of what would be best for this scene, not the ego.
Cue, please.
Nuclear weapons.
Mr.
Premier, do we really have a choice? It's own superiority is the one thing each nation knows.
It need not be proved.
Apparently, it must be.
And proved again every generation.
- To this one, the next - How, by destroying the world? I don't know how long you are going to continue stepping on my lines.
I am trying to control myself, but I am operating under a most difficult handicap.
Yes.
Lack of talent.
I will not stand for this cheap snide baiting any longer.
Look, look, look.
There's no reason for all this.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.
Mr.
Usakos, I know that it's difficult for an actor of your stature to be doing the smaller role of the American president.
What? A smaller part? You had the audacity to knowingly cast me in a smaller part than his? As Stanislavsky said: "There are no small parts, only small actors.
" I warned you what would happen if you goaded him.
How could I help it? He's a pompous ass.
Besides, he's totally wrong for the part.
You know, he has a point.
Thank you for your opinion.
Now, who would you suggest I get to replace him? Jim Evanson, the American actor who was to do the role in New York.
He's perfect for the president.
You know, that's true.
The part really should be played by an American.
At least give Jim a chance.
He's here.
Here? Why? He's my husband.
Well, that's beside the point.
Look, I know it sounds like nepotism, but Jim's really a fine actor.
Now, you know that because you've seen him yourself.
All right.
We'll try him, but I promise nothing.
I'll be waiting in my dressing room.
If he makes trouble with Evanson, it will be the last trouble he ever makes.
Okay, let's try it once, Rollin.
Take it from here.
Not in my country.
And it comforts me to know there is no paper like this to count.
Not in my country.
But it comforts me to know it is safe in my Swiss bank account.
Good.
Tell Jim to keep the same pace as when we made this tape no matter what Kuro directs him to do.
How far out of sync can we be? There's only so much adjustment I can make.
You'll have to give me all the help you can.
Mr.
Evanson, good to see you again.
Mr.
Kuro, thank you so much for giving me this chance.
I'm glad you could be with us.
Allow me to introduce Vitol Enzor.
James Evanson.
- A pleasure.
- Glad to meet you, sir.
Well, shall we start right in? I'll have to work with a script.
Joan told me there have been changes.
Of course, of course.
You can sit here.
Thank you.
What is it, Buj? So at last I think we have found an area in which we are in accord.
Yes.
We've agreed we can't have a world without war.
Apparently, no one wants that.
But we can make sure that the wars we need to insure our own prosperity be little wars, little and inexpensive.
Like insurance premiums against an unprofitable Armageddon.
Very well put, Mr.
Premier.
I really feel that I could do better if I didn't have this book in my hand.
I'm a very quick study, would you mind a short break? Not at all.
You both work so well together, you've made my work simple.
We'll meet back here in one hour.
Come.
Miss Vincent.
Mr.
Enzor.
You have given me many memorable hours in the theatre, sir.
Thank you, Your Excellency.
And you, Miss Vincent, I understand now that you have written a small masterpiece in which I appear as one of the characters.
Thank you, Your Excellency.
That's why we're here.
I'm worried that you're not gonna like my play.
Not like it? I assure you, Miss Vincent, I'm not thin-skinned.
I enjoy satire, even at my own expense.
But my play is not being produced as I wrote it.
Kuro has changed its entire meaning.
Well, I'm sure he has his reasons.
He does.
I think he means to discredit you so that he can seize power.
I have known Kuro for 20 years.
Fought beside him through the worst times.
It is inconceivable to me that he would betray me.
Then please, Your Excellency, may I suggest that you come to the theatre for one rehearsal.
Hear the play for yourself.
I will come to the opening.
No.
You can't wait till then.
I mean, Mr.
Premier, I am being directed to play you as a fool and a fraud.
Forgive me for being late, Mr.
Premier, I was unavoidably detained.
I understand, but when one is with one's advisers, one must keep track of time.
More and more so as the years go by.
Yet just pressures can make our responsibilities bearable.
- That and power.
- And money? I would think that even in your country, money has a certain value.
Not in my country.
And it comforts me to know that there is no paper like this to count.
A defence fund is still the same thing.
Especially in these troubled times.
After all, a leader's first duty is to resist.
Mr.
Premier, if we are ever going to resolve our differences You know, there's something about this cross that bothers me.
It goes against the new words.
Well, what would be more natural? Well, I think perhaps if I If I crossed to here just before his next line.
All right.
Let's try it.
Start again from your entrance.
Stage left.
Forgive me for being late, Mr.
Premier, I was unavoidably detained.
I understand, when one is with one's mistress, one loses all track of time.
More and more as the years go on.
But it is such pleasures that makes our responsibilities bearable.
- That and power.
- And money? I would think even in your country, that money would have a certain value.
Not in my country, but it comforts me to know that it is safe in my Swiss bank account.
Yes, a little retirement fund is a good thing.
Especially in these troubled times.
After all, a leader's first duty is to himself.
Stop! Stop this immediately! You actually intend to present this obscenity to our people? Portraying me as a lecher, as a thieving What are you talking about, sir? Of course not.
Look, read for yourself.
But this isn't the play.
Your Excellency, this is not the play we were doing.
This is some perjury.
You heard yourself the lines that were spoken.
You have the evidence of your own ears.
Yes, I have excellent hearing.
Also an excellent memory.
Did you not have Mr.
Enzor, who is me, say that he had a mistress? That he had a fund of stolen money in a Swiss bank account and that his first duty is to himself? But no one said this, Your Excellency It isn't It's impossible.
I never saw or heard those words before.
- I had nothing to do with this.
- This isn't the play.
This is a mistake.

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