Nero Wolfe Mystery, A (2001) s01e11 Episode Script
Over My Dead Body: Part 2
These three midgets I believe were circus performers.
They were circus performers in Turkey, and they managed to get ahold of this Kashgar, which is a one-of-a-kind.
And they rolled it up Can you imagine them rolling up this rug? And the rug they were grabbing onto it and the rug came off with them, and it fell over with them onto the snow Yes, sir? I'm Agent Stahl of the FBI.
I need to see Mr.
Wolfe.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Wolfe is dining and cannot be disturbed.
But if you wish to Well, it's essential that I see him immediately.
I understand, sir, I will inform him I can see him, he's right over there.
Yes, but he is not to be disturbed.
I will have you wait No, excuse me, sorry.
No, wait! No, sir! You cannot go in there, please! It is not possible! We're sorry to disturb you again, Mr.
Wolfe I do not discuss business while dining Mr.
Stahl.
But it is necessary that you understand the act concerning agents of foreign principals.
Cicero warns us that the more laws a country has, the less justice there will be.
I have often wondered if that were not true.
Section 5 requires registration of any agent of a foreign government, corporation or political organization.
My client is none of these.
My client is an immigrant residing in New York City.
She is a guest at my table, Mr.
Stahl.
You do have a client? Miss Tormic.
I see.
Well, given the circumstances I'm not sure.
I'll have to get the opinion of the attorney general.
I'll let you know.
Are you a government agent, Miss Tormic? No.
Are you on a political mission? No.
And you, Miss Lovchen? No, sir.
You're both lying.
As an intrigante Miss Lovchen, you are maladroit.
Twice since you have entered this room, you have glanced at my copy of United Yugoslavia.
I have removed the paper that you put amongst its pages and placed it elsewhere.
You can't! Where is it? Neya, sit down! Not all Americans are monolingual.
The Princess Vladanka Donevitch, is she here in New York? If you stole that document from her, you are in peril of your life.
I know.
Will you help me? Will you pay my usual fee? I'm your daughter.
I thought you might feel some Well, I I carry this fat to insulate my feelings.
They got too strong for me once or twice and I had that idea.
Had I remained lean, I would be dead by now.
Like you, I was once idiotically romantic.
But war cured me; war pickles men in a brine of disgust and dread.
In Montenegro, I saw the ribs of a three-year-old girl and adopted her, with the hope of guaranteeing at least her physical well-being.
And then you went home and left me with Pero Brovnik.
Go on.
My name then was Anna.
When I was eight, Pero and his wife were shot as revolutionaries.
At the orphanage, a secretary to Prince Peter Donevitch took a fancy to me and took me in.
It was not advisable to advertise my connection with the Brovniks, so she never contacted you.
So you lived as a Donevitch; you became their friend.
Where is the princess now? Paris.
At Old Peter's deathbed.
You're lying.
You.
Are you Stefan's wife? Are you the Princess Vladanka? Me? Boga ti.
No.
That paper that you put in my book gives her carte blanche in some very important financial matters.
There are some things I cannot tell I will not tell, no matter what you do.
Yes, yes.
Of course.
Over your dead body.
Well, go ahead.
Die for your silly secret mission.
But I must have it tonight! Oh, so your mission concludes tomorrow? I would advise you, Miss Lovchen, to do nothing whatever but to eat and sleep.
It will be safer.
Do I study it? Does Archie read it? Unbelievable.
I thought I was casual.
Yeah, pfui.
You, Miss Tormic you are my client only so long as it remains established that you are the girl whose ribs I saw 20 years ago.
You can feel them if you want to.
As for looking at them Oh, no, thank you.
But I am your protector.
But if it turns out that you have duped me I shall be your enemy.
I do not like to be fooled.
Good night.
Hvala Bogu! I like Montenegrin girls.
You know, I've got a feeling there will be a romantic twist to this peculiar case.
By the time the full moon comes, I've got an inner conviction that I will be asking you formally for the hand of your daughter in marriage.
Of course, you'll have to help me break her of lying.
Oh, shut up.
Are you really going to give her the Donevitch paper? I wanted to see what she would do with it.
Why does Faber want it? I don't know he even knew where to look.
Maybe Miss Lovchen told him, or maybe he learned from a member of your family.
I have no family.
Well, now, a daughter is commonly considered to be a member of one's family.
When I marry her, it'll be unavoidable I'll have to call you "Dad.
" Think of it: I'll be your heir.
Archie We could play in father-and-son golf tournaments.
Later on you can hold the baby uh, babies.
What the hell? Who is it? It's Duncan Barrett.
I'd like to talk to Nero Wolfe.
What I want to know is, are you still representing her? Because, quite frankly, I'm interested in Miss Tormic, and I should hate it if Well, there's this rumor that she was seen putting something into Goodwin's overcoat.
And if the police find out about it, they would cause a hell of a row.
And there's this talk of you fellows standing in with the police, and I just want to be sure I want to help her.
Tell me where you are hiding Madame Zorka.
I don't know, I Don't.
Don't.
It's wasted.
No, you could not have known both what was seen and what the police did not know unless Madame Zorka confided in you after she had spoken to us.
Where is she, Mr.
Barrett? Rubbish! I don't like the way you're handling this.
How much cash for you to stop peddling this fairy tale about her putting something into Goodwin's overcoat to the police, huh? Hey! Archie, no! He's practically telling us that we'd sell out a client! Come back here, Mr.
Barrett.
Unless you want the authorities on the trail of your Bosnian forest concessions! Ah, I must say, very effective.
You've drained the color right out of his face.
You must learn how to control your childish impulses.
Physical duress, unless taken to an intolerable extreme, is a miserable weapon.
What, you get mad your way, I get mad my way sometimes.
Sometimes you get mad, sometimes I get mad it's different.
Mr.
Barrett? You couldn't know what you're talking about.
I can and I do.
It's banditry.
Practiced under the euphemism of "international finance" in this case, by the firm of Barrett & DeRussy.
You know the details better than I, Mr.
Barrett.
But I don't need the details to blackmail you.
Who are you working for? Rome? You know, when an international financier is held up at gun point, Archie, he immediately hands over not only his cash, but his pants and his shoes, because it does not occur to him that even a common thief would draw the line somewhere.
Immoral as it might seem for someone of your training, Mr.
Barrett, I do not want any loot.
I want Madame Zorka.
Surely, rather than expose your firm's Yugoslav venture to public scrutiny you can give me this information.
You're not tipping me off for my health.
How much? No money.
I want the information.
Wolfe waited patiently for Barrett to show his true colors.
No surprise to either of us that it was yellow.
She's not far from here.
Of course the genius needed his beauty sleep, so at 1:00 a.
m.
, I found myself driving up Tenth Avenue with Barrett, in search of Zorka.
Okay, how about this we go for some drinks and then you go and tell Wolfe that Zorka had decamped, you know? You can tell him how angry and upset I was, and make it vivid.
Of course I'd give you money, of course.
Shut up and take me to Zorka or I go to Wolfe and help him pull the switch on the Bosnian forests deal.
Now, come on.
Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Up here, Donnybonny.
Ooh! How's my Donny? Oh! Oh, it's the detective man.
Have a drink.
I've never had a drink with a detective before.
Want to grill me? Shut up, Belinda.
Mr.
Goodwin wants to know why you disappeared after you called him, Zorka! But I didn't call him.
He says I called him! Maybe you did, darling.
You phone so many men.
But I didn't.
Well, you should have.
He's cute.
Oh! Wait a minute.
who wouldn't let me leave today.
I don't like you.
Shut up, Belinda.
Oh, everybody shut up! You're giving me a headache.
Get on out of here.
If she was honestly stoozled, she wouldn't be worth a damn to Wolfe.
But I had my reputation to consider.
Now go! just sober, once.
You brought her here; you're going to get her out of here.
What do you expect me to do, carry her out? Tackle him, Donny, darling.
Police headquarters? Inspector Cramer, please.
Homicide squad.
Yes, Inspector Cramer, I want to report recent developments in the Ludlow Pfooy.
You know, police can trace phone calls.
They'll be here in just a few minutes.
He's right.
You got to g Go get her coat.
Madame Zorka! Did you hit her? No.
Well, don't be an ass! You don't carry a woman around on your back and dump her on the floor when there's nothing wrong with her.
She'd like you to think she's inebriated, but I think she's just playing charades.
Thank you, Fritz.
We'll see.
Get a little ice here, and, uh yeah, we'll try this.
That got you going, didn't it? You're supposed to say, "Where am I?" or something.
Is she capable of coherence? Capable, yes.
I doubt she'd cohere with or without ice.
Madame Zorka! When was the last time you were in Yugoslavia? Where's Donnybonny? Donnybonny's not here.
Come on, pay attention.
In Paris on a Tuesday.
Where do you currently reside? I live in, uh Well, I can't remember.
I just don't feel good.
Where is your apartment? Do you live in New York? Are you currently residing in Paris? Yes, Paris.
Yes? Where? What is the address of the apartment? He kept at it for a solid hour, and all he learned is that she once resided in a hotel in Paris, possibly on a Tuesday.
Finally at 4:00 a.
m.
, we put her to bed in the south room.
Good morning, Madame Zorka.
It's 8:00 a.
m.
, and there's coffee in the dining room.
Madame Zorka! I haven't eaten yet.
Well, neither have I, so I'm in no better humor than you.
We're even.
I just went up to see if Zorka wanted some coffee She sleeping? I don't know.
What the devil do you mean, you don't know? You were just up there.
I was starting to tell you when you interrupted.
She's gone; she went out the window, down the fire escape, right by your window.
I was asleep.
Yes, I know, but with a woman in the house, quite possibly a murderess, I'd think you'd be a little more alert.
Shut up.
Call Cramer, give him everything.
He'll have the resources to find Zorka.
Including my trip to the love nest? Please do not use those terms when my stomach is empty.
Omit only the threat to Duncan Barrett and the issue of the Bosnian forest.
Call Saul, Fred and Orrie.
Have you had breakfast yet? You know damn well I haven't! Well, for God's sakes, have some! Archie! That morning I gave Orrie and Fred money to go on errands that I was not privy to.
Handing out money with no client to foot the bill was not an enjoyable experience.
Yeah.
Yes, you have a visitor the chinless fellow who barged in here yesterday.
Give him a good book to read.
Mr.
Wolfe suggested I give you a book to amuse yourself with.
Uh, pick it up.
Listen, now, I know I'm giving in to childish physical duress, but as you said, there's no discipline in this country.
Now, pick it up.
Hey, need any help? I'll be damned.
How many times you hit him? Once.
I knew, with a name like Goodwin You sure your mother never spent time in Ireland? Wolfe came down from the plant rooms at 11:00.
I filled him in on Faber, on Barrett, and was about to remark on how much money was flying out the window on account of his new family obligations when I was interrupted.
Miss Tormic.
I'm here for my paper.
Where's Miss Lovchen? At her apartment, last I knew.
Give it to me.
I think not.
Miss Lovchen brought the paper here.
I'd prefer to return it to her.
Archie, get the paper and go along with Miss Tormic.
Deliver the paper to Miss Lovchen.
That's absurd.
I'll take it to her.
No, the arrangement I propose suits me better.
Mr.
Faber has come here twice trying to get his hands on that paper.
You realize, of course, that possession of that document You realize that is why my life is in danger? Archie, give the paper to Miss Lovchen in the presence of Miss Tormic.
You know, Cramer's going to be here in half an hour.
Yes, I know.
Hurry back.
This was getting expensive.
Wolfe was tailing his own client.
Neya was definitely in her don't-touch-me mode.
Whatever her mind was on, it wasn't me.
Carla! Carla! Kindly shut your trap! we got to figure this.
The first and worst is, I still got that piece of paper on me.
Give it to me! Oh, no, that'd be real swell.
You got to stay here, too, sweetheart.
Come here.
All right, how are your nerves? They're all right.
All right, come here.
Now, you see that cab down there? Yeah.
You see the guy standing next to it? That's Fred Durkin.
Tell him I want him up here quick.
And don't you go anywhere.
I'll be damned, Archie.
Not guilty this time, Fred.
Now, this is important.
I can't leave, and neither can she, and I don't want the cops to find this when they frisk us.
Hey! Give that to me, you little devil.
Don't be a nincompoop.
The only chance of getting this out of here is if Fred takes it.
Go to the office, give it to Wolfe in private.
I'll call right now, say that you're on your way.
Hey, you're trembling.
Where is Carla? Carla? I don't know.
She's probably off somewhere washing blood off her hands.
Mr.
Wolfe? Mr.
Goodwin.
Is Cramer still there? Yes.
Tell him we've got another body: Faber.
I see.
I will communicate that to him and he will, no doubt, join you there immediately.
Tell Miss Tormic to decline to answer questions from anyone.
And, oh, yes, where did you put the germination records for the Oncidium hybrids? You got your daughter here sizzling on the spot, and you got the blood of Faber on my fingers, and all you can spit on about is orchids? Why don't you try doing some work for a change! I cannot work when there's nothing to work on! My mind is a blank.
Well, you better start thinking of something because whoever did this has deprived you of an alibi.
I got back from the crime scene in time for Fritz's shrimp timbales.
Wolfe never got to the germination records, because between lunch and the 4:00 plant session, his office resembled Grand Central Station.
Donnybonny's father was the type I call a headwaiter's dream.
He wore $400 worth of quiet clothes and acted as if there could never be any urgency about anything anywhere in the world.
You may smoke outside on the stoop, if you'd like, but not here in the office.
You have been making some remarks to my son about Bosnian forests and the Donevitch gang.
I believe that was the word you used, "gang.
" Yes.
Is it from Miss Tormic that you have received this information? My dear sir, you can't be fatuous enough to expect me to tell you that.
Madame Zorka came only because Purley Stebbins found her and told her she had to.
She was all cloak and dagger.
I cannot tell you my real name.
I am a refugee.
I escaped about a year ago, first to Paris and then to America.
There I met Duncan.
He is, uh a silent partner.
There was nothing in her apartment that takes her back further than last year when she came to New York.
No passport neither.
I am in this country legally! Then where is your passport, madame? I explain only to the proper official.
There's nothing improper about me.
Are you under any obligation to represent other interests than Miss Tormic? Yes my own.
I have a proposal to make regarding this project my company is interested in.
Hell, I'm not conceited.
I'm paid a salary to look at dead people and decide if they died as a result of a crime and, if they did, to find the criminal.
We would require your services, nothing onerous, nothing to offend your prejudices.
99 times out of 100 I get official cooperation, but once in a while they try to rope me off.
And you're being roped off now? It's all very hush-hush.
Your friends at the FBI are all over the place.
Last night, the English consul gets the commissioner out of bed over Ludlow's terrible murder.
Today he wishes justice would be done, like he wishes it was a mild winter.
The German consul's singing the same song about Faber.
What right have these countries got to send guys to other countries to do things that they're ashamed to talk about? Even when their guys get murdered.
I have a check here, a retainer for $10,000.
Wolfe was suffering acute pain.
10,000 bucks would have kept a good man hunting rare orchids in Central America for a year.
Or it would buy 5,000 cases of beer or 600 pounds of caviar.
No.
Keep it, you can always return it.
No, sir, to return that amount of money would cause me indigestion for a week.
Then why did you expose your position as you did? We considered it an invitation to deal.
I am a detective working on a case, Mr.
Barrett.
Don't interfere with my business! If that seems likely to occur, I will let you know in advance.
I don't think your client did it.
For one she's your client.
And for the other, Faber's death takes away her alibi for Ludlow.
She wouldn't be that dumb.
The man was stabbed with a blade long enough to reach the heart.
But he was also struck a severe blow before he was stabbed.
Indicates a struggle.
Blunt, hard and heavy.
The man was obnoxious right here in this office, so I plugged him.
Yeah, but you wouldn't stab a guy.
Or would you? Mr.
Cather has returned, sir.
Yes, results, Orrie? Yes, sir.
The madame's birth certificate.
There, there, there, sit down.
Are you mad?! "Bupp"? "Pansy Bupp" of Ottumwa, Minnesota? You called my mother? Yes ma'am, I did.
I didn't scare her or anything.
Her father runs a feed store.
Why the confounded drivel? What do you think happens to a Fifth Avenue couturier when it comes out her real name is Pansy Bupp? Miss Bupp, don't you dare! Archie, get her out of here! Zat weel be a plaizhoore.
Come here, you.
Ow, my heel! Oh Oh, here.
You give that! I'll tell you this, this is what I know: If you didn't do it, Tormic did.
That's why you called Durkin, to take the weapon away.
No, that's full of holes, see? I'm in favor of crossing that one off.
Nuts! I'm never going to get anywhere with this case except right here.
And I'm tired of being left out, Wolfe, so where you go, I go.
If you go to the plants room, I go along.
If you go to the kitchen to make salad dressing, I go, too.
You don't make salad dressing in the kitchen.
You make it at the table, fresh.
I don't care what you go to the kitchen for, I'm going too.
Nero Wolfe's office.
Archie Goodwin speaking.
Ah, yes, he is.
Inspector, it's for you.
You wait right there, Wolfe.
It's time to check with Fritz about that goose.
Now? Yes, now.
All right Okay.
You know the number I'm at Wolfe's.
It's time to go to the plant rooms, Inspector.
Eavesdropping hell of a job.
Was that Cramer getting news on the Lovchen front? Yup, her tail just called in.
Lovchen arrived a few minutes ago at the Maidstone Building on 42nd Street.
The tail lost her in the lobby.
They're sending over reinforcements to make sure she doesn't leave.
Fritz, go to the plant room and tell Wolfe the goose hasn't been delivered yet.
Tell him you've sent me to Washington Market to get it.
Tell him I protested and complainly bitterly of the language I used for the benefit of Cramer's ear, see? Saul has the low-down.
Goose uh, the market go to plant room Wolfe, uh, he has the low-down Where is she? There's cops all over the lobby.
Where is she?! Where's Neya? Have you been at your apartment today? No, I was at the studio.
The policeman who has been tailing you saw you enter the building at 11:10.
You left at 11:15.
Half an hour later, Neya and I discovered Faber's body.
Now, was he there when you were there? I didn't kill him.
Look, Nero Wolfe wants to see you before the cops get ahold of you.
No, I won't go.
You won't go, huh? Well, Nero Wolfe gets what Nero Wolfe wants or he throws a tantrum and I get fired.
So you're going.
Damn it, she appealed to me.
Do you understand? She appealed to me for help.
And I'll do whatever's necessary to But you've got no chance of getting her out of here, and I do, see? You are going to wait here, and you're going to watch her.
I told you guys next time I saw you I wanted to see that file, didn't I? I want you to make sure you put it in your car, okay? Now get out of here, and lay off I'm going to take your things as insurance.
Now, if you know what's good for you, you're going to go straight to Nero Wolfe's.
Go on.
Go on.
Goodwin! So what you got in the package? Oh, uh, daggers, uh, narcotics, smuggled jewels and a small illegal immigrant.
You want to have a look? Go to hell.
All righty.
All see you on the corner of Fire and Brimstone.
Was she really that stupid? In the pantry.
Hvala Bogu.
She got by Cramer's men had the good sense to come back here.
She was scratching on the door like a lost puppy.
Your clothes.
Did you get the goose? Uh, yes.
Since when did they move the Washington Market to the Maidstone Building? Ah, Stebbins called.
I want that Lovchen woman, and I want her plenty.
If it turns out that she's pulled a getaway and you helped her Ah, the man's mad.
I must wash and I will do so on my own.
We will join you shrtly in the office, Mr.
Cramer.
How do you do, Miss Lovchen? Mr.
Goodwin told me that he brought a goose.
He did.
Whether you killed Mr.
Faber and Mr.
Ludlow or not, you are pure imbecile! If I am severe, it is because I have no sympathy to waste on people who ask my help and tell me nothing but lies.
For the present, you will stay in this room.
I will not answer any question from you or police.
I've decided that.
Oh? May be you think I have not enough willpower for that, but I have.
Try it.
It would be an improvement on your conduct so far.
Are you hungry? A little.
Fritz will prepare something.
Wolfe was in as bad a humor as I could remember.
He didn't even invite anyone else to join him in a beer.
Uh, Fred, you're in my chair.
I want to see you alone.
That will have to wait.
Confound it, everything will have to wait! Thank you, Fritz.
We were beginning to resemble a meeting of the Royal Society of Fidgeters, when fate intervened in the form of a doorbell.
Seven Seas Radio for Nero Wolfe.
Oh, well, thank you, kid.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Yes.
This is the break we've been waiting for, Inspector Cramer.
Archie get Mr.
Barrett Senior on the line.
Why? You mustn't Shush! Mr.
Cramer, I will give you the identity of the murderer on the condition that you let me do it my way, without interference or protest.
May I borrow an officer who can follow instructions? All of my men follow instructions.
John Barrett, please.
Senior.
Nero Wolfe calling.
This is Nero Wolfe, Mr.
Barrett.
I'm calling to fulfill a promise.
I intend to interfere with your business and No.
Yes, I will consent to that if you can be here in 15 minutes.
You don't know what you are?? Archie, give Miss Tormic a hundred dollars.
Mr.
Cramer, your trusted man here will drive her to 35th and Fifth.
No! I'm not going! Not without my You will then give this envelope to her when he gets there.
He will return straight here.
Fred! Give this to him.
Proceed there and await their arrival.
Why? What are you protecting her from? He is not to loiter or to see what she does or which way she goes.
You fat fool.
Yes, I'm fat.
And we're all fools.
I'm sorry you won't be here to see the end of this.
It is a silly little victory, but it is mine.
Victory? Yes.
Au revoir, Miss Tormic.
I hope not.
Thank you, Fritz.
Neya was gone and Cramer's trusted man returned when the Barretts arrived.
Donnybonny looked so truculent I almost had Fritz feed him a hunk of raw meat.
Barrett Senior was not exactly conciliatory.
Ridiculous! We came here for a confidential business meeting, and I don't know why My dinner is in an hour, Mr.
Barrett, and I don't want to waste time flopping around in a mire of inanities! Your deal with the Donevitch gang is done for.
Then there's no need to talk.
Within an hour, a warrant will be issued, charging your son as an accessory to murder.
It will be too late to talk with me then.
Cramer's head jerked around, and the color drained fom Duncan's face again.
But John Senior betrayed no sign of having heard anything more provocative than a remark about the weather.
You are in the presence of a blackmailing scheme.
And you've got me as a witness.
Sit down, give him some rope.
You're behaving like a schoolgirl in a pet.
Can't you see I have something? Do you take me for a maudlin blatherskite? He's a goddamned bluffer Hey! Sit down, young man.
Keep your mouth shut! I'll be as brief as I can, since you already know what I'm about to say and all Mr.
Cramer needs is the name of the murderer.
I promised you that, Mr.
Cramer, and you shall have it.
The Princess Vladanka Donevitch.
Is this somebody I should know? The wife of Prince Stefan of Yugoslavia.
She came to New York masquerading as a poor immigrant.
Her real purpose, however, was to enlist the help of John Barrett to sell the rights to the Bosnian forests.
We merely act as middlemen Will you keep quiet, you twit?! Yes, I know.
I know, I know.
Money and morals are rarely on speaking terms.
But a British agent named Ludlow threatened to ruin it.
So this, uh princess dame killed Ludlow? Yes.
his empowers her to conclude certain transactions in the name of the Donevitch dynasty.
This is for you, Mr.
Cramer.
Where'd you get that? It doesn't matter, Mr.
Barrett it's evidence.
It was the linchpin of the scheme.
I presume it was used to legitimate Barrett & DeRussy's right to transfer massive profit of t his country in defiance of federal law.
Faber gave her an alibi for Ludlow and presumably used that to dictate terms to her on behalf of the Germans.
Having met Faber, they were not generous terms so she killed him.
God knows what she'd do next.
She may have counted on the taciturnity of governments and financiers regarding their intrigues, but what the devil did she take me for, a goat on a chain? I'm still waiting for you to say something that you can prove.
Mr.
Barrett, you ignore the existence of a person who knows as much about all of this as the princess herself, and that, of course, is her friend who came with her from Zagreb.
So you just, uh, let her go? You gave her money to go with?! Inspector this is the photograph of the Princess Vladanka Donevitch.
What kind of run-around is this? That's Neya Tormic! Yes.
And you had my men take a murderer and turn her loose? What else could I do? She believed she was under my protection.
I I didn't agree to catch the murderer for you, Inspector, I merely agreed to disclose identity and motive.
Aw nuts! If she gets away, Wolfe, I'll Archie.
Mr.
Cramer might find this useful.
Which way did they go? Get in the car! Let's get out of here! Inspector! Wait a minute! Inspector! Give me that! One of these days, Goodwin! Get back here! What the devil?! Neya! She get you? No! She's dead.
What'd she say? She said something when she was going out.
Uh, "teeny" something or other.
"Over my dead body.
" Listen, I In't have left the door ajar when I I managed without you.
Ah! Excuse me for walking right in, Mr.
Wolfe the door was open.
I was on my way uptown.
I thought I'd come and tell you that we can expect a ruling in a week about the girl and the matter of foreign registration.
Why don't you guys get out of here.
Go! It matches.
Christ.
Nuts.
Well, you must eat something! Eat! What do you say we break the ice, I ask you a few questions.
First of all what was it you gave Neya Tormic in that envelope? It was a sentence saying she was no longer my client.
Ah, and when did you figure out she wasn't your daughter? Well, you said it yourself: Lovchen is another name for my name which was information for me and not for the princess.
I I wouldn't have suspected you of such subtlety.
As far as the princess was concerned, it was important not to appear subtle.
Wait.
No.
No, no, you you couldn't have known then.
I- I knew it as a possible interpretation of the facts before me.
But given your ridiculous attempts at intrigue, an unlikely one.
I can tell the truth now.
She brought me to America in case she needed to use you.
I knew she'd do dangerous things, but I never thought of murder.
When I saw Faber I knew.
I tried to run away.
Stupid.
Ah well It is encouraging that you are aware that you have behaved foolishly, even stupidly.
What are you going to do? I don't know.
I have a little money.
I can go Nonsense! You will be hit by a car or fall in a ditch.
No you'll eat, you'll sleep and we'll discuss it in the morning.
If you stay in America, I suppose your name will be Carla Wolfe.
Or is it Anna? What are you grinning at? Hmm? What? What are you grinning at? Baboon! Take my, uh Carla Miss Anna take her to the south guest room, and make sure that she is comfortable.
And if she decides to leave, uh through the fire escape, make sure she doesn't tumble through my window on the way out.
Well, uh, come with me "My Anna".
Uh, what is What are you using that fennel for? What is that? Bouillabaisse à la marseillaise.
C'est trop fort.
Non, non.
I asked myself about a case where Wolfe spent money and expected none in return.
I asked myself about a marriage that never happened.
And I asked myself about the woman in Montenegro from whom he skedaddled and her relationship to his new and shapely responsibility.
Since the chances of knowing the answer to any of these questions was the same as my reading United Yugoslavia, I decided to go to sleep and forget about it.
They were circus performers in Turkey, and they managed to get ahold of this Kashgar, which is a one-of-a-kind.
And they rolled it up Can you imagine them rolling up this rug? And the rug they were grabbing onto it and the rug came off with them, and it fell over with them onto the snow Yes, sir? I'm Agent Stahl of the FBI.
I need to see Mr.
Wolfe.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Wolfe is dining and cannot be disturbed.
But if you wish to Well, it's essential that I see him immediately.
I understand, sir, I will inform him I can see him, he's right over there.
Yes, but he is not to be disturbed.
I will have you wait No, excuse me, sorry.
No, wait! No, sir! You cannot go in there, please! It is not possible! We're sorry to disturb you again, Mr.
Wolfe I do not discuss business while dining Mr.
Stahl.
But it is necessary that you understand the act concerning agents of foreign principals.
Cicero warns us that the more laws a country has, the less justice there will be.
I have often wondered if that were not true.
Section 5 requires registration of any agent of a foreign government, corporation or political organization.
My client is none of these.
My client is an immigrant residing in New York City.
She is a guest at my table, Mr.
Stahl.
You do have a client? Miss Tormic.
I see.
Well, given the circumstances I'm not sure.
I'll have to get the opinion of the attorney general.
I'll let you know.
Are you a government agent, Miss Tormic? No.
Are you on a political mission? No.
And you, Miss Lovchen? No, sir.
You're both lying.
As an intrigante Miss Lovchen, you are maladroit.
Twice since you have entered this room, you have glanced at my copy of United Yugoslavia.
I have removed the paper that you put amongst its pages and placed it elsewhere.
You can't! Where is it? Neya, sit down! Not all Americans are monolingual.
The Princess Vladanka Donevitch, is she here in New York? If you stole that document from her, you are in peril of your life.
I know.
Will you help me? Will you pay my usual fee? I'm your daughter.
I thought you might feel some Well, I I carry this fat to insulate my feelings.
They got too strong for me once or twice and I had that idea.
Had I remained lean, I would be dead by now.
Like you, I was once idiotically romantic.
But war cured me; war pickles men in a brine of disgust and dread.
In Montenegro, I saw the ribs of a three-year-old girl and adopted her, with the hope of guaranteeing at least her physical well-being.
And then you went home and left me with Pero Brovnik.
Go on.
My name then was Anna.
When I was eight, Pero and his wife were shot as revolutionaries.
At the orphanage, a secretary to Prince Peter Donevitch took a fancy to me and took me in.
It was not advisable to advertise my connection with the Brovniks, so she never contacted you.
So you lived as a Donevitch; you became their friend.
Where is the princess now? Paris.
At Old Peter's deathbed.
You're lying.
You.
Are you Stefan's wife? Are you the Princess Vladanka? Me? Boga ti.
No.
That paper that you put in my book gives her carte blanche in some very important financial matters.
There are some things I cannot tell I will not tell, no matter what you do.
Yes, yes.
Of course.
Over your dead body.
Well, go ahead.
Die for your silly secret mission.
But I must have it tonight! Oh, so your mission concludes tomorrow? I would advise you, Miss Lovchen, to do nothing whatever but to eat and sleep.
It will be safer.
Do I study it? Does Archie read it? Unbelievable.
I thought I was casual.
Yeah, pfui.
You, Miss Tormic you are my client only so long as it remains established that you are the girl whose ribs I saw 20 years ago.
You can feel them if you want to.
As for looking at them Oh, no, thank you.
But I am your protector.
But if it turns out that you have duped me I shall be your enemy.
I do not like to be fooled.
Good night.
Hvala Bogu! I like Montenegrin girls.
You know, I've got a feeling there will be a romantic twist to this peculiar case.
By the time the full moon comes, I've got an inner conviction that I will be asking you formally for the hand of your daughter in marriage.
Of course, you'll have to help me break her of lying.
Oh, shut up.
Are you really going to give her the Donevitch paper? I wanted to see what she would do with it.
Why does Faber want it? I don't know he even knew where to look.
Maybe Miss Lovchen told him, or maybe he learned from a member of your family.
I have no family.
Well, now, a daughter is commonly considered to be a member of one's family.
When I marry her, it'll be unavoidable I'll have to call you "Dad.
" Think of it: I'll be your heir.
Archie We could play in father-and-son golf tournaments.
Later on you can hold the baby uh, babies.
What the hell? Who is it? It's Duncan Barrett.
I'd like to talk to Nero Wolfe.
What I want to know is, are you still representing her? Because, quite frankly, I'm interested in Miss Tormic, and I should hate it if Well, there's this rumor that she was seen putting something into Goodwin's overcoat.
And if the police find out about it, they would cause a hell of a row.
And there's this talk of you fellows standing in with the police, and I just want to be sure I want to help her.
Tell me where you are hiding Madame Zorka.
I don't know, I Don't.
Don't.
It's wasted.
No, you could not have known both what was seen and what the police did not know unless Madame Zorka confided in you after she had spoken to us.
Where is she, Mr.
Barrett? Rubbish! I don't like the way you're handling this.
How much cash for you to stop peddling this fairy tale about her putting something into Goodwin's overcoat to the police, huh? Hey! Archie, no! He's practically telling us that we'd sell out a client! Come back here, Mr.
Barrett.
Unless you want the authorities on the trail of your Bosnian forest concessions! Ah, I must say, very effective.
You've drained the color right out of his face.
You must learn how to control your childish impulses.
Physical duress, unless taken to an intolerable extreme, is a miserable weapon.
What, you get mad your way, I get mad my way sometimes.
Sometimes you get mad, sometimes I get mad it's different.
Mr.
Barrett? You couldn't know what you're talking about.
I can and I do.
It's banditry.
Practiced under the euphemism of "international finance" in this case, by the firm of Barrett & DeRussy.
You know the details better than I, Mr.
Barrett.
But I don't need the details to blackmail you.
Who are you working for? Rome? You know, when an international financier is held up at gun point, Archie, he immediately hands over not only his cash, but his pants and his shoes, because it does not occur to him that even a common thief would draw the line somewhere.
Immoral as it might seem for someone of your training, Mr.
Barrett, I do not want any loot.
I want Madame Zorka.
Surely, rather than expose your firm's Yugoslav venture to public scrutiny you can give me this information.
You're not tipping me off for my health.
How much? No money.
I want the information.
Wolfe waited patiently for Barrett to show his true colors.
No surprise to either of us that it was yellow.
She's not far from here.
Of course the genius needed his beauty sleep, so at 1:00 a.
m.
, I found myself driving up Tenth Avenue with Barrett, in search of Zorka.
Okay, how about this we go for some drinks and then you go and tell Wolfe that Zorka had decamped, you know? You can tell him how angry and upset I was, and make it vivid.
Of course I'd give you money, of course.
Shut up and take me to Zorka or I go to Wolfe and help him pull the switch on the Bosnian forests deal.
Now, come on.
Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Up here, Donnybonny.
Ooh! How's my Donny? Oh! Oh, it's the detective man.
Have a drink.
I've never had a drink with a detective before.
Want to grill me? Shut up, Belinda.
Mr.
Goodwin wants to know why you disappeared after you called him, Zorka! But I didn't call him.
He says I called him! Maybe you did, darling.
You phone so many men.
But I didn't.
Well, you should have.
He's cute.
Oh! Wait a minute.
who wouldn't let me leave today.
I don't like you.
Shut up, Belinda.
Oh, everybody shut up! You're giving me a headache.
Get on out of here.
If she was honestly stoozled, she wouldn't be worth a damn to Wolfe.
But I had my reputation to consider.
Now go! just sober, once.
You brought her here; you're going to get her out of here.
What do you expect me to do, carry her out? Tackle him, Donny, darling.
Police headquarters? Inspector Cramer, please.
Homicide squad.
Yes, Inspector Cramer, I want to report recent developments in the Ludlow Pfooy.
You know, police can trace phone calls.
They'll be here in just a few minutes.
He's right.
You got to g Go get her coat.
Madame Zorka! Did you hit her? No.
Well, don't be an ass! You don't carry a woman around on your back and dump her on the floor when there's nothing wrong with her.
She'd like you to think she's inebriated, but I think she's just playing charades.
Thank you, Fritz.
We'll see.
Get a little ice here, and, uh yeah, we'll try this.
That got you going, didn't it? You're supposed to say, "Where am I?" or something.
Is she capable of coherence? Capable, yes.
I doubt she'd cohere with or without ice.
Madame Zorka! When was the last time you were in Yugoslavia? Where's Donnybonny? Donnybonny's not here.
Come on, pay attention.
In Paris on a Tuesday.
Where do you currently reside? I live in, uh Well, I can't remember.
I just don't feel good.
Where is your apartment? Do you live in New York? Are you currently residing in Paris? Yes, Paris.
Yes? Where? What is the address of the apartment? He kept at it for a solid hour, and all he learned is that she once resided in a hotel in Paris, possibly on a Tuesday.
Finally at 4:00 a.
m.
, we put her to bed in the south room.
Good morning, Madame Zorka.
It's 8:00 a.
m.
, and there's coffee in the dining room.
Madame Zorka! I haven't eaten yet.
Well, neither have I, so I'm in no better humor than you.
We're even.
I just went up to see if Zorka wanted some coffee She sleeping? I don't know.
What the devil do you mean, you don't know? You were just up there.
I was starting to tell you when you interrupted.
She's gone; she went out the window, down the fire escape, right by your window.
I was asleep.
Yes, I know, but with a woman in the house, quite possibly a murderess, I'd think you'd be a little more alert.
Shut up.
Call Cramer, give him everything.
He'll have the resources to find Zorka.
Including my trip to the love nest? Please do not use those terms when my stomach is empty.
Omit only the threat to Duncan Barrett and the issue of the Bosnian forest.
Call Saul, Fred and Orrie.
Have you had breakfast yet? You know damn well I haven't! Well, for God's sakes, have some! Archie! That morning I gave Orrie and Fred money to go on errands that I was not privy to.
Handing out money with no client to foot the bill was not an enjoyable experience.
Yeah.
Yes, you have a visitor the chinless fellow who barged in here yesterday.
Give him a good book to read.
Mr.
Wolfe suggested I give you a book to amuse yourself with.
Uh, pick it up.
Listen, now, I know I'm giving in to childish physical duress, but as you said, there's no discipline in this country.
Now, pick it up.
Hey, need any help? I'll be damned.
How many times you hit him? Once.
I knew, with a name like Goodwin You sure your mother never spent time in Ireland? Wolfe came down from the plant rooms at 11:00.
I filled him in on Faber, on Barrett, and was about to remark on how much money was flying out the window on account of his new family obligations when I was interrupted.
Miss Tormic.
I'm here for my paper.
Where's Miss Lovchen? At her apartment, last I knew.
Give it to me.
I think not.
Miss Lovchen brought the paper here.
I'd prefer to return it to her.
Archie, get the paper and go along with Miss Tormic.
Deliver the paper to Miss Lovchen.
That's absurd.
I'll take it to her.
No, the arrangement I propose suits me better.
Mr.
Faber has come here twice trying to get his hands on that paper.
You realize, of course, that possession of that document You realize that is why my life is in danger? Archie, give the paper to Miss Lovchen in the presence of Miss Tormic.
You know, Cramer's going to be here in half an hour.
Yes, I know.
Hurry back.
This was getting expensive.
Wolfe was tailing his own client.
Neya was definitely in her don't-touch-me mode.
Whatever her mind was on, it wasn't me.
Carla! Carla! Kindly shut your trap! we got to figure this.
The first and worst is, I still got that piece of paper on me.
Give it to me! Oh, no, that'd be real swell.
You got to stay here, too, sweetheart.
Come here.
All right, how are your nerves? They're all right.
All right, come here.
Now, you see that cab down there? Yeah.
You see the guy standing next to it? That's Fred Durkin.
Tell him I want him up here quick.
And don't you go anywhere.
I'll be damned, Archie.
Not guilty this time, Fred.
Now, this is important.
I can't leave, and neither can she, and I don't want the cops to find this when they frisk us.
Hey! Give that to me, you little devil.
Don't be a nincompoop.
The only chance of getting this out of here is if Fred takes it.
Go to the office, give it to Wolfe in private.
I'll call right now, say that you're on your way.
Hey, you're trembling.
Where is Carla? Carla? I don't know.
She's probably off somewhere washing blood off her hands.
Mr.
Wolfe? Mr.
Goodwin.
Is Cramer still there? Yes.
Tell him we've got another body: Faber.
I see.
I will communicate that to him and he will, no doubt, join you there immediately.
Tell Miss Tormic to decline to answer questions from anyone.
And, oh, yes, where did you put the germination records for the Oncidium hybrids? You got your daughter here sizzling on the spot, and you got the blood of Faber on my fingers, and all you can spit on about is orchids? Why don't you try doing some work for a change! I cannot work when there's nothing to work on! My mind is a blank.
Well, you better start thinking of something because whoever did this has deprived you of an alibi.
I got back from the crime scene in time for Fritz's shrimp timbales.
Wolfe never got to the germination records, because between lunch and the 4:00 plant session, his office resembled Grand Central Station.
Donnybonny's father was the type I call a headwaiter's dream.
He wore $400 worth of quiet clothes and acted as if there could never be any urgency about anything anywhere in the world.
You may smoke outside on the stoop, if you'd like, but not here in the office.
You have been making some remarks to my son about Bosnian forests and the Donevitch gang.
I believe that was the word you used, "gang.
" Yes.
Is it from Miss Tormic that you have received this information? My dear sir, you can't be fatuous enough to expect me to tell you that.
Madame Zorka came only because Purley Stebbins found her and told her she had to.
She was all cloak and dagger.
I cannot tell you my real name.
I am a refugee.
I escaped about a year ago, first to Paris and then to America.
There I met Duncan.
He is, uh a silent partner.
There was nothing in her apartment that takes her back further than last year when she came to New York.
No passport neither.
I am in this country legally! Then where is your passport, madame? I explain only to the proper official.
There's nothing improper about me.
Are you under any obligation to represent other interests than Miss Tormic? Yes my own.
I have a proposal to make regarding this project my company is interested in.
Hell, I'm not conceited.
I'm paid a salary to look at dead people and decide if they died as a result of a crime and, if they did, to find the criminal.
We would require your services, nothing onerous, nothing to offend your prejudices.
99 times out of 100 I get official cooperation, but once in a while they try to rope me off.
And you're being roped off now? It's all very hush-hush.
Your friends at the FBI are all over the place.
Last night, the English consul gets the commissioner out of bed over Ludlow's terrible murder.
Today he wishes justice would be done, like he wishes it was a mild winter.
The German consul's singing the same song about Faber.
What right have these countries got to send guys to other countries to do things that they're ashamed to talk about? Even when their guys get murdered.
I have a check here, a retainer for $10,000.
Wolfe was suffering acute pain.
10,000 bucks would have kept a good man hunting rare orchids in Central America for a year.
Or it would buy 5,000 cases of beer or 600 pounds of caviar.
No.
Keep it, you can always return it.
No, sir, to return that amount of money would cause me indigestion for a week.
Then why did you expose your position as you did? We considered it an invitation to deal.
I am a detective working on a case, Mr.
Barrett.
Don't interfere with my business! If that seems likely to occur, I will let you know in advance.
I don't think your client did it.
For one she's your client.
And for the other, Faber's death takes away her alibi for Ludlow.
She wouldn't be that dumb.
The man was stabbed with a blade long enough to reach the heart.
But he was also struck a severe blow before he was stabbed.
Indicates a struggle.
Blunt, hard and heavy.
The man was obnoxious right here in this office, so I plugged him.
Yeah, but you wouldn't stab a guy.
Or would you? Mr.
Cather has returned, sir.
Yes, results, Orrie? Yes, sir.
The madame's birth certificate.
There, there, there, sit down.
Are you mad?! "Bupp"? "Pansy Bupp" of Ottumwa, Minnesota? You called my mother? Yes ma'am, I did.
I didn't scare her or anything.
Her father runs a feed store.
Why the confounded drivel? What do you think happens to a Fifth Avenue couturier when it comes out her real name is Pansy Bupp? Miss Bupp, don't you dare! Archie, get her out of here! Zat weel be a plaizhoore.
Come here, you.
Ow, my heel! Oh Oh, here.
You give that! I'll tell you this, this is what I know: If you didn't do it, Tormic did.
That's why you called Durkin, to take the weapon away.
No, that's full of holes, see? I'm in favor of crossing that one off.
Nuts! I'm never going to get anywhere with this case except right here.
And I'm tired of being left out, Wolfe, so where you go, I go.
If you go to the plants room, I go along.
If you go to the kitchen to make salad dressing, I go, too.
You don't make salad dressing in the kitchen.
You make it at the table, fresh.
I don't care what you go to the kitchen for, I'm going too.
Nero Wolfe's office.
Archie Goodwin speaking.
Ah, yes, he is.
Inspector, it's for you.
You wait right there, Wolfe.
It's time to check with Fritz about that goose.
Now? Yes, now.
All right Okay.
You know the number I'm at Wolfe's.
It's time to go to the plant rooms, Inspector.
Eavesdropping hell of a job.
Was that Cramer getting news on the Lovchen front? Yup, her tail just called in.
Lovchen arrived a few minutes ago at the Maidstone Building on 42nd Street.
The tail lost her in the lobby.
They're sending over reinforcements to make sure she doesn't leave.
Fritz, go to the plant room and tell Wolfe the goose hasn't been delivered yet.
Tell him you've sent me to Washington Market to get it.
Tell him I protested and complainly bitterly of the language I used for the benefit of Cramer's ear, see? Saul has the low-down.
Goose uh, the market go to plant room Wolfe, uh, he has the low-down Where is she? There's cops all over the lobby.
Where is she?! Where's Neya? Have you been at your apartment today? No, I was at the studio.
The policeman who has been tailing you saw you enter the building at 11:10.
You left at 11:15.
Half an hour later, Neya and I discovered Faber's body.
Now, was he there when you were there? I didn't kill him.
Look, Nero Wolfe wants to see you before the cops get ahold of you.
No, I won't go.
You won't go, huh? Well, Nero Wolfe gets what Nero Wolfe wants or he throws a tantrum and I get fired.
So you're going.
Damn it, she appealed to me.
Do you understand? She appealed to me for help.
And I'll do whatever's necessary to But you've got no chance of getting her out of here, and I do, see? You are going to wait here, and you're going to watch her.
I told you guys next time I saw you I wanted to see that file, didn't I? I want you to make sure you put it in your car, okay? Now get out of here, and lay off I'm going to take your things as insurance.
Now, if you know what's good for you, you're going to go straight to Nero Wolfe's.
Go on.
Go on.
Goodwin! So what you got in the package? Oh, uh, daggers, uh, narcotics, smuggled jewels and a small illegal immigrant.
You want to have a look? Go to hell.
All righty.
All see you on the corner of Fire and Brimstone.
Was she really that stupid? In the pantry.
Hvala Bogu.
She got by Cramer's men had the good sense to come back here.
She was scratching on the door like a lost puppy.
Your clothes.
Did you get the goose? Uh, yes.
Since when did they move the Washington Market to the Maidstone Building? Ah, Stebbins called.
I want that Lovchen woman, and I want her plenty.
If it turns out that she's pulled a getaway and you helped her Ah, the man's mad.
I must wash and I will do so on my own.
We will join you shrtly in the office, Mr.
Cramer.
How do you do, Miss Lovchen? Mr.
Goodwin told me that he brought a goose.
He did.
Whether you killed Mr.
Faber and Mr.
Ludlow or not, you are pure imbecile! If I am severe, it is because I have no sympathy to waste on people who ask my help and tell me nothing but lies.
For the present, you will stay in this room.
I will not answer any question from you or police.
I've decided that.
Oh? May be you think I have not enough willpower for that, but I have.
Try it.
It would be an improvement on your conduct so far.
Are you hungry? A little.
Fritz will prepare something.
Wolfe was in as bad a humor as I could remember.
He didn't even invite anyone else to join him in a beer.
Uh, Fred, you're in my chair.
I want to see you alone.
That will have to wait.
Confound it, everything will have to wait! Thank you, Fritz.
We were beginning to resemble a meeting of the Royal Society of Fidgeters, when fate intervened in the form of a doorbell.
Seven Seas Radio for Nero Wolfe.
Oh, well, thank you, kid.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Yes.
This is the break we've been waiting for, Inspector Cramer.
Archie get Mr.
Barrett Senior on the line.
Why? You mustn't Shush! Mr.
Cramer, I will give you the identity of the murderer on the condition that you let me do it my way, without interference or protest.
May I borrow an officer who can follow instructions? All of my men follow instructions.
John Barrett, please.
Senior.
Nero Wolfe calling.
This is Nero Wolfe, Mr.
Barrett.
I'm calling to fulfill a promise.
I intend to interfere with your business and No.
Yes, I will consent to that if you can be here in 15 minutes.
You don't know what you are?? Archie, give Miss Tormic a hundred dollars.
Mr.
Cramer, your trusted man here will drive her to 35th and Fifth.
No! I'm not going! Not without my You will then give this envelope to her when he gets there.
He will return straight here.
Fred! Give this to him.
Proceed there and await their arrival.
Why? What are you protecting her from? He is not to loiter or to see what she does or which way she goes.
You fat fool.
Yes, I'm fat.
And we're all fools.
I'm sorry you won't be here to see the end of this.
It is a silly little victory, but it is mine.
Victory? Yes.
Au revoir, Miss Tormic.
I hope not.
Thank you, Fritz.
Neya was gone and Cramer's trusted man returned when the Barretts arrived.
Donnybonny looked so truculent I almost had Fritz feed him a hunk of raw meat.
Barrett Senior was not exactly conciliatory.
Ridiculous! We came here for a confidential business meeting, and I don't know why My dinner is in an hour, Mr.
Barrett, and I don't want to waste time flopping around in a mire of inanities! Your deal with the Donevitch gang is done for.
Then there's no need to talk.
Within an hour, a warrant will be issued, charging your son as an accessory to murder.
It will be too late to talk with me then.
Cramer's head jerked around, and the color drained fom Duncan's face again.
But John Senior betrayed no sign of having heard anything more provocative than a remark about the weather.
You are in the presence of a blackmailing scheme.
And you've got me as a witness.
Sit down, give him some rope.
You're behaving like a schoolgirl in a pet.
Can't you see I have something? Do you take me for a maudlin blatherskite? He's a goddamned bluffer Hey! Sit down, young man.
Keep your mouth shut! I'll be as brief as I can, since you already know what I'm about to say and all Mr.
Cramer needs is the name of the murderer.
I promised you that, Mr.
Cramer, and you shall have it.
The Princess Vladanka Donevitch.
Is this somebody I should know? The wife of Prince Stefan of Yugoslavia.
She came to New York masquerading as a poor immigrant.
Her real purpose, however, was to enlist the help of John Barrett to sell the rights to the Bosnian forests.
We merely act as middlemen Will you keep quiet, you twit?! Yes, I know.
I know, I know.
Money and morals are rarely on speaking terms.
But a British agent named Ludlow threatened to ruin it.
So this, uh princess dame killed Ludlow? Yes.
his empowers her to conclude certain transactions in the name of the Donevitch dynasty.
This is for you, Mr.
Cramer.
Where'd you get that? It doesn't matter, Mr.
Barrett it's evidence.
It was the linchpin of the scheme.
I presume it was used to legitimate Barrett & DeRussy's right to transfer massive profit of t his country in defiance of federal law.
Faber gave her an alibi for Ludlow and presumably used that to dictate terms to her on behalf of the Germans.
Having met Faber, they were not generous terms so she killed him.
God knows what she'd do next.
She may have counted on the taciturnity of governments and financiers regarding their intrigues, but what the devil did she take me for, a goat on a chain? I'm still waiting for you to say something that you can prove.
Mr.
Barrett, you ignore the existence of a person who knows as much about all of this as the princess herself, and that, of course, is her friend who came with her from Zagreb.
So you just, uh, let her go? You gave her money to go with?! Inspector this is the photograph of the Princess Vladanka Donevitch.
What kind of run-around is this? That's Neya Tormic! Yes.
And you had my men take a murderer and turn her loose? What else could I do? She believed she was under my protection.
I I didn't agree to catch the murderer for you, Inspector, I merely agreed to disclose identity and motive.
Aw nuts! If she gets away, Wolfe, I'll Archie.
Mr.
Cramer might find this useful.
Which way did they go? Get in the car! Let's get out of here! Inspector! Wait a minute! Inspector! Give me that! One of these days, Goodwin! Get back here! What the devil?! Neya! She get you? No! She's dead.
What'd she say? She said something when she was going out.
Uh, "teeny" something or other.
"Over my dead body.
" Listen, I In't have left the door ajar when I I managed without you.
Ah! Excuse me for walking right in, Mr.
Wolfe the door was open.
I was on my way uptown.
I thought I'd come and tell you that we can expect a ruling in a week about the girl and the matter of foreign registration.
Why don't you guys get out of here.
Go! It matches.
Christ.
Nuts.
Well, you must eat something! Eat! What do you say we break the ice, I ask you a few questions.
First of all what was it you gave Neya Tormic in that envelope? It was a sentence saying she was no longer my client.
Ah, and when did you figure out she wasn't your daughter? Well, you said it yourself: Lovchen is another name for my name which was information for me and not for the princess.
I I wouldn't have suspected you of such subtlety.
As far as the princess was concerned, it was important not to appear subtle.
Wait.
No.
No, no, you you couldn't have known then.
I- I knew it as a possible interpretation of the facts before me.
But given your ridiculous attempts at intrigue, an unlikely one.
I can tell the truth now.
She brought me to America in case she needed to use you.
I knew she'd do dangerous things, but I never thought of murder.
When I saw Faber I knew.
I tried to run away.
Stupid.
Ah well It is encouraging that you are aware that you have behaved foolishly, even stupidly.
What are you going to do? I don't know.
I have a little money.
I can go Nonsense! You will be hit by a car or fall in a ditch.
No you'll eat, you'll sleep and we'll discuss it in the morning.
If you stay in America, I suppose your name will be Carla Wolfe.
Or is it Anna? What are you grinning at? Hmm? What? What are you grinning at? Baboon! Take my, uh Carla Miss Anna take her to the south guest room, and make sure that she is comfortable.
And if she decides to leave, uh through the fire escape, make sure she doesn't tumble through my window on the way out.
Well, uh, come with me "My Anna".
Uh, what is What are you using that fennel for? What is that? Bouillabaisse à la marseillaise.
C'est trop fort.
Non, non.
I asked myself about a case where Wolfe spent money and expected none in return.
I asked myself about a marriage that never happened.
And I asked myself about the woman in Montenegro from whom he skedaddled and her relationship to his new and shapely responsibility.
Since the chances of knowing the answer to any of these questions was the same as my reading United Yugoslavia, I decided to go to sleep and forget about it.