Orange Is the New Black s05e11 Episode Script

Breaking the Fiberboard Ceiling

1 [CELL DOOR SLAMS.]
[THEME SONG PLAYING.]
[CELL DOOR SLAMS.]
[CELL DOOR SLAMS.]
This must be what the Maasai tribesmen feel like after they've speared an elephant.
Except white men aren't exactly an endangered species, and this animal is going to wake up.
[GRUNTS.]
Ah, he'll be out for a couple hours.
- Where the hell are we? - [SCOFFS.]
It's a long story.
- What do we do when he wakes up? - We torture him into a confession.
Don't you think that we have all already suffered enough in service of your revenge scheme, Red? Did he do that to you? [SIGHS.]
I think you need to go lie down.
- I'm fine.
- You are not fine.
No one here is fine.
You don't look so good either, Red.
Yeah, Red, that terrifying clown look? Doesn't really work on anybody.
- You have something to restrain him? - Something? I got everything! But we should move him.
Let's get him down into the pool so we have room to work, just in case.
Girls, give me a hand.
We'll carry him.
- Yeah, I'll get right on that.
- You know my right knee is for shit.
It's difficult for me to condone violence, even if it's him.
Nicky, please.
If we don't get his confession, this was all for nothing.
Don't make me beg.
How many times has this woman been there for you, huh? Even if it's just an extra fucking cup of Jell-O.
And, yes, she is withholding, and not the archetypical mother you spent your whole life wishing you had.
Regardless, we ain't gonna get through this shit alone.
See, that much I know.
[NORMA SIGHS.]
Why don't you go upstairs and get some Tylenol or something, okay? And I will deal with this.
- I'm fine - Go.
[ALEX GRUNTS SOFTLY.]
- [PIPER SIGHS.]
- [FRIEDA.]
On my count.
One, two Three years without a Pap smear, Ms.
Figueroa.
I figured it's healthier for Duchess to go without 'em than to subject her to that old pervert they be calling a doctor.
You know what he did the one time I went? There I am legs spread breeze blowin' through my south half.
He's standing there, a good five feet away, lookin' at me.
He ain't even close enough to see nothin' where he's supposed to be lookin'.
And you know what he say? "Shame about your legs.
At least they let women wear pants these days.
" And now I know the fucker blind 'cause I got some fine-ass legs right here.
- [STAMMERS.]
I hate myself for asking - [TAYSTEE PANTS.]
I really, really do.
But Duchess? [GRUNTS.]
Yeah.
'Cause my nay-nay be noble.
- Of course.
- You ain't got a name for yours? What are the chances of getting a cup of coffee? [TAYSTEE SIGHS.]
- Hey, Mr.
C - [SIGHS.]
Your girlfriend got a name for her pussy? Tracy.
- [TAYSTEE LAUGHING.]
- Go fuck yourself, Joe! And she's not my girlfriend.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay, I got to know where this one come from.
I told you mine.
Yo, you tell me, then we'll see about getting you some, uh, coffee.
Tracy Loomis and I were best friends until she went through puberty before me and got more popular because it was rumored that she let David Rosen titty fuck her.
- [LAUGHS.]
- So I named it after her because my vagina's a bitch.
She is not wrong.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's some weird shit, Ms.
Fig.
For real, though.
I mean, just let the girl [CHUCKLES.]
Taystee it has been 12 hours and we haven't gotten anywhere.
- Your point was? - Healthcare.
Do you know what happens when we get sick? A CO decides if it's essential or not.
A man who don't know or care nothin' about us tells us if we sick enough to go to the doctor.
And if it ain't essential, you gotta lie in your bunk, hoping that your fever don't get too high, or you gotta find a friend who can afford Tylenol from commissary.
Look last year, a girl had an infected tooth and it took so long for a guard to take her serious, that the infection grew and now she blind in one of her eyes! Yeah, that's right.
She a damn pirate 'cause of this place.
So you tell me that an emergency trip to the ER ain't more expensive than getting us decent care in the first place.
- She's right, you know.
- Oh, shut up, Joe.
Jesus.
Fine, I will make it happen.
- You win healthcare.
- [SIGHS.]
Now can someone get me a goddamn cup of coffee? I am right on it Tracy.
[LAUGHING.]
Sorry.
[LAUGHS.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
I think I should slap you and then you could slap me.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
I don't let nobody hit me.
But it's like a sleep fighter.
Gets your adrenaline goin' or some shit.
- Yeah? - Adorefins.
- Do it gotta be the face? - Hmm.
Not really sure.
But when my moms would try to keep my stepdad up, it was always the face.
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
[OFFICERS SNORING.]
Hey! [GROANS.]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- What I told you about that shit? - What happened? I can't help when I sleep fart.
It just slips out.
- [GLORIA.]
Ugh, that's disgusting.
- [BLAKE GROANS.]
- What's going on? - Don't worry, I got it.
You, long pants.
Let's go.
Aren't all pants long? - Didn't you hear me? I said let's go.
- I don't understand, I was Hey, did I say you could talk? Let's go.
I'm taking him to the Poo.
Let's go.
Close the door.
Keep your eyes on them.
They're up to something.
I could feel it.
Go.
- She maybe got good potential.
- [OUIJA GRUNTS.]
We got ourselves an intern.
- [CHUCKLING.]
- What's up now? [CHUCKLING.]
- [GRUNTS.]
You feel them adorefins? - [GROANS.]
- Fuck! [INHALING DEEPLY.]
- [LAUGHING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
- [LOURDES.]
Did you sleep? - No.
I'll go get us some coffee.
I broke the vase.
What? The vase [STAMMERS.]
the one in your bedroom.
It was, like, green or blue or something? That was a long time ago.
I made Benny say it was his fault.
I told him I'd take his Spider-Man if he told you.
You know what I remember? At the pool You must have been nine or ten.
Benny sat and watched you and your friends dive off the diving board all day.
He wouldn't even swim.
Just watched you.
And then right before it was time to leave, he ran over and climbed up.
And I thought, finally the boy has found his guts, you know? But when he got to the end He froze.
- And what did you do? - I went to get him.
You took his hand, counted to three and you jumped together.
That's what I remember.
Also the slap on the water when he landed on his back, - and the crying, and [CHUCKLES.]
- [SIGHS.]
But he went holding your hand.
You taught him how to be brave.
- If he dies - He's not gonna die.
- But he - He's not going to die.
I wish Mom was here.
Me, too, bubbaloo.
You want milk and sugar? Yo, I thought we were taking him to Medical.
We can't.
Don't know how Medical gonna help a dead man.
- Then where we going? - Man, hell if I know.
This is a bad idea.
Then come up with a better idea, Your Majesty, Queen of the Obvious.
This is that place.
Some things happened.
There's a lot of feelings in this place.
A lot.
Oh! Yo, she like accidental genius sometimes, swear to God.
Yeah! [JANAE.]
Leave him just for now, right? Too long and that shit's gonna stank.
- [BLACK CINDY SIGHS.]
- What the fuck? - He died? - [SUZANNE.]
Oh, no.
[BLACK CINDY.]
For real? You shut the fuck up! I mean, you keep flappin' your big ass lips, and our whole peace in the Middle East thing? Canceled.
[SUZANNE.]
No, no, no, no, no.
- No, you lied to me.
- No, I didn't - You lied! - [SHUSHING.]
- He died! - Don't - [SHUSHES.]
Shut the fuck - Lying is very bad.
- Dying is very, very bad.
- Oh.
Suzanne.
Suzanne, I'm gonna need you to calm down, all right? - You're a liar, liar, pants on fire! - [SIGHS.]
You've all been fed a bunch of lies.
I mean, they wanna put labels on you, like crazy, psycho, deranged stalker.
But we're not gonna let them do that, are we? Mmm-mmm.
Because there is nothing wrong with you.
You are perfect, just the way you are.
It really is about getting up in the morning, looking in that mirror and sayin', "Self, you're great.
" That, and a little bit of lipstick, that is all the medicine you need! Go on, get out of here.
Go on! [SIGHS.]
What if your self still has a headache, even after you tell it, "You're great"? Well, I hadn't, uh, considered that particular situation.
This is more of an anti-depressant, anti-psychotic kinda theory.
- So can I have an Advil or something? - Well, I can't see why not.
As long as it doesn't affect your self-esteem.
[CHUCKLING.]
You know, I gotta say, you seem real nice.
Aw, well, thank you.
- Now, what is your name? - Kasey.
Well, Kasey, it is very, very nice to meet you.
Likewise.
It's cool when people surprise you, you know? I guess I assumed La Loca [CHUCKLES.]
I mean, that's "batshit" in spic language, but here you seem real normal and nice.
Oh, my mistake.
Looks like we're all out of Advil.
Sorry.
Crazy fuckin' dago! - Move along! - Jeez! - [ALL GRUNTING.]
- Someone on that side is not carrying their weight, literally.
Hey, I was upfront about my knee issue.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch his head.
[ALL GRUNTING AND PANTING.]
Fuck his head.
Okay, ready? [PISCATELLA GROANS.]
[ALL GRUNTING.]
One two three! [BIG BOO.]
Fuck yeah.
- [ALL PANTING.]
- Sisterhood is powerful.
[NICKY.]
Jesus.
- He deserves it.
- [BOTH GRUNTING.]
Yeah.
Call me crazy, but the morality of this particular situation, [STAMMERS.]
uh, it just sort of makes it tricky to define who deserves what.
Kind of a gray area, if you will.
Here, let's put him in the chair.
- [GRUNTING.]
One, two, three! - [BIG BOO.]
Two, three.
[ALL GRUNTING.]
[RED.]
Wonderful.
[ALL PANTING.]
- Thank you, girls.
[SIGHS.]
- [BIG BOO EXHALES DEEPLY.]
So, again, we're all just totally fine with the fact that we're inside of an empty pool right now, right? Like, nobody wants to talk about that.
- [GRUNTING.]
- [ANITA GASPS.]
[STUTTERS.]
Yeah, I don't know if rope will be enough to keep him properly propped.
Let me look around.
[GRUNTS.]
How come you have all his toys? Did you build a secret bunker? - Piper, help push him back up, would you? - No, absolutely not.
Nicky's motivational speech got us this far, but I am not going to be a part of whatever this is.
I won't do anything he doesn't deserve.
[NICKY.]
Wow, there it is again, huh? We're just really playing fast and loose with that word today, huh? - This should do the trick.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[MARIA.]
You're gonna abandon everything we're trying to do here? The mattresses are made out of vinyl.
And let's get serious.
You know that some of us needed a shower anyway, right? Right, sucia? Oh, don't give up so easy, you know? It's a storm.
It's gonna pass! We heard negotiations are going real good.
- What? - Healthcare and better food, and maybe even Beyoncé gonna come say hi to us.
- Huh? - You don't wanna miss out on that! Beyoncé ain't comin' to Litchfield! How dare you doubt her? Look! Look, guys, come on! - Move.
Just walk.
- Take Dixon or Josh.
Why is it me? - Fuck.
- Doesn't make - Shut up! - I'm the nice one! - Get in.
- [GRUNTS.]
Please Hey, now that I'm in here and everything, can you please tell me what I did? Nothing.
- Pardon? - You didn't do nothing, all right? I got a plan.
Just Fuck.
Just just Just trust me.
Oh, yeah, I have literally zero idea why I would do that, seeing as how you just locked me in a shithole for no reason! Listen.
You gotta be patient and wait.
I'm gonna get you out of here soon.
Oh, wow.
That is less than specific.
[PANTING.]
All right, listen.
Do me a favor.
When I tell you it's time, go with it.
Please.
Hey, got it? Yeah, no idea what you mean when you say, "Go with it.
" Oh, shut up! And get ready.
Fuck! [SIGHS.]
So lonely.
He's not in there anymore, okay? It's just his body.
- His soul is in a better place now.
- He's in heaven, Suzanne.
Hey, Cindy Rubenstein you don't believe in heaven.
I believe you're referring to the modern cultural Jew who typically doesn't believe in a stringent concept of heaven and hell.
However, historically, Judaism does subscribe to the idea of Olam Ha-Ba, the world to come.
Converts are always the worst.
Y'all think they'll let us into heaven after we've been in prison? Maybe this is not the time for this, yeah? It's something I think about.
- Is Poussey in heaven? - [ALISON.]
Of course she is, honey.
In my faith, we call it paradise.
Hmm.
I bet you she's up there right now, having a heck of a time looking down at us, laughing about this mess we got ourselves in.
[STAMMERS.]
Wait, so, the dead bad person is up there with her? In the paradise-heaven-better-place? - Absolutely not.
- Well, she said he's in a better place.
[PANTS.]
You you He is.
It's just a different better place than the one that P's in.
Wait, so you can be a bad person and still end up in the better place? Okay, look.
Nobody knows, all right? It's just shit people say to make each other feel better.
Oh, it's too much! [STAMMERS.]
It's too much death! It's too much.
And and you're all lying, lying, lying, lying! You liars! Oh, God! Too much death! Too much, it's too much! That's right! You're liars.
You lie.
You lie! [CRYING.]
Too much! Too much death! Too much! All right, what you wanna do is keep 'em on their toes.
Yeah, you gotta mess with their brains.
- Why is your face all red? - Oh, I slapped her to stay awake.
But we good now.
We got something better.
Yo, check this out.
Go, go, go.
All right, so, see this? You take your coffee, then you take your card.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
And you gonna line that bitch up, right? You gotta get yourself a pen, take it apart like this.
You see? [SNIFFS.]
All right.
[SNIFFS.]
[PIDGE CHUCKLES.]
Watch, watch.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
- Oh, fuck! - [CACKLING.]
[GROANS.]
We found an extra can in somebody's locker.
[GROANS.]
Fuck, we could've used that shit in the coffeehouse.
But you know what? [SNIFFLES.]
Well, fuck it.
I'm livin' in the now.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[PANTING.]
Fuck.
Shit.
Is my nose bleeding? Just a little.
But whatever.
Yo, let me do a line.
Come on, come on.
Fuck it.
Grab that shit.
[PANTING.]
Watch this shit.
It's amazing.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[GROANING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[PANTING.]
The more it hurts, the doper the the high, right? - Totally.
- I think y'all crazy.
Excedrin work just as good and it don't hurt.
- The pain lets you know that you're alive.
- I know I'm alive.
- You were talkin' about the guards, right? - [ZIRCONIA.]
Yeah, right.
You gotta fuck with 'em.
- Oh, man, this is my favorite.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Yo.
- [GASPS.]
- [ZIRCONIA.]
You know how this goes.
Ain't gonna happen unless you all looking at me.
I need ten eyes, right here.
The slick one ain't looking yet.
[ZIRCONIA.]
I can stand here all day waiting, so you better get your dude over there in line.
The longer we wait, the more of you going to Poo.
"Two Girls, One Cup.
" It's a classic, but still hard to beat.
[DAVIS SNIFFLES.]
[GAGS AND COUGHS.]
No.
Fuck this.
- This is bullshit! - Uh-oh, we got a rebellion.
- Oh, I got this.
- [DIXON.]
This ain't doin' shit! You didn't learn your lesson from your friend earlier? What lesson? There ain't no lesson here! Just a bunch of sociopaths torturing us, and for what? You think getting better food is gonna make you not a criminal? The world already considers y'all a pile of garbage, and that was before you went and held a bunch of innocent people hostage.
You think people will be on your side now? You, with the boobs.
You, too.
- Me? - [GLORIA.]
No, her.
One of you has an opinion, the rest of you are gonna suffer for it.
I was just sitting here.
I didn't do anything.
Please.
I'll stare at the shit eaters some more.
What do you want me to do? I'll do anything.
- Out.
Now! - What? [SIGHS.]
Damn it, Dixon.
- Come on.
- You're a fucking idiot.
Can't let them get too comfortable, right? Nice job, Mendoza.
Mental warfare, I like it.
Yeah, you a good student.
Z, help her down to the Poo.
[PANTING.]
Nah.
We'll be just fine.
- [PIDGE.]
Ay! - Ooh! - [MCCULLOUGH PANTING.]
- [GRUNTING.]
Get in! Move it! Move.
Move, move, move, move! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[GRUNTS.]
Get in! Fuck! [BOTH INHALING DEEPLY.]
- [BOTH GRUNTING LOUDLY.]
- Yeah! - [GROWLING.]
Fuck yeah! Fuck! - [GROWLS.]
[GLORIA GRUNTS.]
[PANTING.]
[RAIN TAPPING.]
[CRYING.]
Now, can someone tell me how throwin' someone in a room by themselves and denying them access to sunshine and other people teaches them any kinda lesson? - That's what I thought.
- Psst! Man, how you gonna mess up my rhythm like that? Psst! Pardon me one second, would you? [SIGHS.]
Yo, you was killin' it in there! - [MUMBLES.]
- Yeah.
I know.
That's why this better be motherfuckin' important.
Look, we got a a little problem.
[SIGHS.]
Great, it's a little problem.
Little means you can handle it.
Oh, no, no, no.
Mmm-mmm.
We got a dead guard and Suzanne is freaking out.
- Are you fucking serious? - [STAMMERS.]
I know, man.
I know, it's bad! Come on, I'll take you No, you misunderstand.
You think I got time to handle more bullshit? I'm in there busting my ass, trying to make shit better for all of us by myself, and you bringing me some nonsense? That Suzanne is freaking out? Well, spoiler alert.
That's what the fuck she does.
She freaks out! Look, I ain't got no magic Suzanne wand.
Just deal with it.
Look, but Whoa, whoa, maybe you missed the part [WHISPERS.]
about the dead guard? Oh, you mean the part where you thought it would be a good idea to run up in here and tell me some shit that can make this whole thing fall apart if somebody heard you? You smart, man.
You a damn genius.
You ain't got to be mean about it.
Shit, man! Do you get what's going on here? - Oh.
- Do you understand what's at stake? This ain't a game, yo.
This is our life.
What's going on in there is gonna change the lives of hundreds of women.
And maybe if we do this right, other prisons will listen, too, all right? We got a chance to really change things.
And I'm in there tryin' to make a difference, and you know what? I'm good at it.
I'm getting somewhere.
So you tell me what's more important one girl who can't handle not getting her breakfast on time or the rest of us who is in here tryin' to survive every day? [SIGHS.]
That's what I thought.
[SIGHS.]
[REPORTER.]
Live on the scene here at Litchfield Prison.
No new activity in the last few hours.
We are still awaiting any [TV CUTS OFF.]
- Hey, I was watching that! - And I was turning it off.
You better get your booty to the bus stop.
If the bus leaves without you, you got a long walk.
And I'm not writing no late-excuse letters to the school.
It's like you don't even care about her.
- Who? - See? Cindy.
My sister? Your daughter.
She's in that jail that's going off, and you're pretending she don't even exist.
I care about her very much.
- You're not worried? - Honey I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you worrying, but Cindy's not in that place.
She was transferred to another facility a couple of months back.
And I'm sorry for keeping it from you.
She got transferred? Yeah, something about behavior infractions.
I don't know.
Point is, she's all right and you don't have to worry about her.
Focus on school, okay? She got transferred? [STUTTERS.]
Where did you get that? It doesn't matter.
You're a fucking liar.
You watch your language! - Why should I listen to anything you say? - Because I am your your mother! - I wish you weren't.
- Well, sometimes I wish that, too.
- [FRIEDA.]
Found the pliers.
- Wonderful.
- You're actually going to torture him? - Nothing he hasn't done to us.
Yeah, but he's a monster.
You're Red.
[BIG BOO.]
You know what, kids? I believe I've had, uh, quite enough fun for a while.
And blood? It's not really my thing, so Boo out.
[RED.]
This man is no better than we are, and yet he gets to roam free and make our lives a living hell? Because the system that condemns us protects him? This is insane.
I need to go check on Alex.
All right, Piper, come on.
We can't just leave her down here alone.
[RED.]
Oh, yes, you can.
Leave me here.
Go, all of you.
I'm a big girl and I don't need your moral elitism.
- Oh! Oh! [GRUNTS.]
Oh! - Oh, oh, okay.
Okay.
Oh, boy, that really undercut your whole independent lady thing, huh? - Norma, you bitch! - [LAUGHS.]
Impressive.
Girl scout? All right, uh, give me a hand over here, right? I wish that we could go back to the us from two days ago and let them know that this is where we were gonna be.
- Blanca, you'll carry the torch, yes? - Actually, Red, I'm pretty tired.
All right, let's pretend we're at a Jewish wedding, right? One, two, three! [ALL GRUNTING.]
I hate all of you.
Aw, we hate you back, Red, but with love! - [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- [GROANS.]
- Hey! - You came back! [SNIFFLES.]
[BIG BOO.]
Oh! I should get kidnapped and held hostage by a psychopath more often.
I've had a lot of guys make a lot of excuses for disappearing on me, but that by far is the most ridiculous one I've ever heard.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
I'll work on it.
Hey, girl, what happened to your face? - Your friend, the feral one? - Ah.
She's mad at me.
She thinks I stole you or something.
[CHUCKLES.]
Is that what's going on here, Miss Von Barlow? Are you trying to steal me away? - What happened to your suit? - Oh.
Yeah.
Victim of the riot.
[SIGHS.]
I really liked that suit.
Yeah, well, you should see me in suspenders.
Mmm.
Come here.
[GRUNTS.]
- [SNIFFS.]
Oh! - What? How can I put this politely? Have you been rolling around in a pile of horse shit since I've been away? I had to hide in the Poo to escape a Mexican mongoloid! Wow, I don't even know which part of that is the most offensive.
- [SIGHS.]
- Impressive.
[SOFTLY.]
Oh, God.
How about I get you a nice hot shower? Oh, my God, that would be so nice.
Well, I happen to know a place.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Hello? Hello? I need Suzanne Warren's medication.
All of 'em.
Oh, she doesn't take those anymore.
[GRUNTS.]
Pardon? Yeah.
As a pretend licensed medical professional, I made an uneducated but still very thoughtful decision, - and I took her off those.
- The fuck? She's sick.
She needs her medication.
No.
No, no, no! No.
That is the problem around here.
You are the problem.
Okay, she is not sick.
She is wonderful and beautiful and unique and just because her brain doesn't think like everybody else's around here, doesn't mean we should stuff her full of pills.
- Do you know why we do that to people? - Hmm? So we can feel more comfortable, so we don't have to deal with anyone who isn't what we think they should be.
I mean, who who's to say what normal is, anyway? Look, Professor Fakey Pants, I don't know what normal is, but I know it ain't you.
And because you took these medical decisions into your own hands, Suzanne is freaking the fuck out and we can't get her to calm down.
So, now, I'm gonna need the medication.
What's she take? No, that is confidential patient information! Whoo! You are runnin' hard on the psycho path, but maybe it's time to take a water break.
No! No, no, no, no, no! No, you can't touch those.
What are you doing? Put those down! - You can't take that! - Look sometimes the greater good matters more than one raving lunatic.
Now her crazy is puttin' us all at risk and scarin' the fuck out of me personally.
Uh-uh! Get the fuck out of my way! [WHIMPERS.]
Spread the word.
This bathroom is off-limits for at least an hour.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
[LINDA.]
Mmm.
You know, if I close my eyes, this is exactly like the Serenity Day Spa in Utica.
Except for the faint notes of shit and piss in the air.
Utica? I thought you were from Connecticut.
You know, it is a little known fact about Connecticut - that we actually also have a Utica.
- Mmm.
Yeah, it's near New Haven.
Well, now, aren't you just a little bundle of Connecticut trivia? [CHUCKLES.]
- I kill at trivia night.
- [CHUCKLING.]
In Connecticut.
Specifically in Connecticut.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mmm.
Fuck, would you look at me? I'm all giggly and gay for you.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're gay all the time.
Correct.
- I'm just not typically "gay" gay.
- [SIGHS.]
Aw, are you gonna pass me a note and ask me if I like you now? God.
I love it when you're a bitch.
It's just so me.
Mmm.
That's what relationships are, right? - Hmm? - Well, it's just finding someone who [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Reflects those parts of yourself that you want everyone else to see.
It's narcissism, but in a prettier package.
Well, then I guess I want everyone to see that I'm a hot piece of ass with a big set of brass balls and a mouth to back them up.
I've never felt so seen.
[BIG BOO CHUCKLES.]
- Fresh towel? - That sounds lovely.
[CHUCKLES.]
Great.
Be right back.
A prize! [LINDA.]
Hmm? What'd you find, babe? Oh that mildew stain on the wall, it's, uh Looks like a set of tits, doesn't it? Hmm.
Yeah, I can totally kind of see that.
[INHALES DEEPLY AND GRUNTS.]
[BREATHING DEEPLY.]
Looks like I missed out on all the fun.
[SNIFFLES.]
Guess you're real committed to your team, huh? [SNIFFLES.]
All it took was a little rain to get your ass back in here.
What the fuck happened to all the guards? Gloria been kicking their asses! She been sending them shitheads to the Poo all day.
It's been mad entertaining.
[CHUCKLES.]
[OUIJA.]
Yeah, she's like Scarface or some shit.
Nah, she's like that dude in the karate movie, the one with the kid! What's it called? - Karate Kid.
- Right.
'Cause we like the old dude who's been teaching her.
[CHUCKLES.]
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
Hey, why do you guys care about this thing? The real question is, why don't you? You know this means we're in here forever now, right? We're never getting out after this.
[SCOFFS.]
Yo, this is our time, man.
These days is all we got.
Rest of our lives, people gonna treat us like garbage.
But right now, people are listening.
Right now, people care.
You wanna miss out your chance to change some shit around here? You wanna sit out the one time that you got real power? Take some fucking responsibility, so when all this is over, you can say that you stood up and did something.
Be a fucking role model to your kids and shit.
[CHUCKLES AND SNIFFLES.]
Or at least don't get your ass kicked by the rest of us.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SNIFFLES.]
Hey, guys! It's Flaritza with your favorite beauty tips! Ladies, hair is your most valuable tool.
Got a lazy eye? Just like that, boys will think you're mysterious instead of cross-eyed! Forehead looking like a sixhead? - Voilà! - [CLATTERING.]
[OUIJA.]
You sit the fuck down before I rip your eyeballs out one by one! Got it? [MIGUEL SOFTLY.]
Mom.
[OUIJA.]
You sit the fuck down before I rip your eyeballs out one by one! Got it? Yo, hostility is not a good look.
Sorry, guys.
We'll be back soon with a chiller vibe.
Will someone untie me already? [PIPER.]
Are you gonna run back down there? - Yes.
- Then no.
You can't stop me from taking him down.
Maybe instead of continuing to obsess over this whole revenge thing, you could, I don't know, uh, look around at the consequences of your drug-fueled actions and apologize.
For what? So we're still in the denial phase.
Noted.
This is sort of all your fault, Red.
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
Nothing is ever one person's fault.
You and your heavy-browed minion over there lured him in here.
I got them shaped.
I look more like Brooke Shields than Frida Kahlo now.
I don't know who the fuck Brooke Shields is, but that's what Flaritza said.
Look, we were trying to help all of you.
By inviting a bloodthirsty, armed maniac into the prison? By making his crimes public and ensuring that he never works here again.
None of this sounds insane to you now that you're off the drugs? I didn't know they were drugs.
She lied to me! - Please, you lied to yourself.
- She ain't wrong.
We were just sitting here, minding our own business Selfishly hoarding all of these supplies.
It's not our fault we're enjoyable company and Frieda invited us.
There's also that part where the two of you made us look like radical Islamic terrorists on the news.
Remember that? Uh-uh.
I went back downstairs.
I think that we're starting to split hairs here a little bit.
Don't even start with us, you Cheeto stealer! - [CHUCKLES.]
- Don't you laugh at me.
What? You were all "ra-ra riot" for a while there.
Piper "Pussy Riot" Chapman.
You know, at least she was doing something, huh? That's right.
At least I was doing something.
Where were you when your mother was popping her little helpers? Hey, look, lady, some of us were trying to stay out of it while others of us were cutting the electricity to the entire fucking prison! But who can really say what's worse, am I right? I was trying to help! Don't intentions count for anything? And it's back, right? [ALL ARGUING.]
She was saying intentions count for something.
We were trying to bring Piscatella over here! [ARGUING CONTINUES.]
- Oh, shit.
You put them in together? - Ain't got room otherwise.
[LAUGHS.]
You are fire, yo.
- [CELL PHONE VIBRATING.]
- Oh, you see that? Yeah, I'll be right back.
[OUIJA AND PIDGE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
- Lourdes? - [LOURDES.]
Gloria.
[IN SPANISH.]
They're taking him into surgery.
If you want to talk to him first, I thought maybe he can hear you.
[GLORIA.]
Yes, yes, eh - You'll hold the phone to him? - Yes.
Go ahead.
Hi, baby.
[CHUCKLES.]
I know you don't like it when I call you that, but you're still my baby.
And everything's gonna be okay, you hear me? It's gonna be all right.
The doctors, they're gonna take care of you, and I'mma be there real soon.
I'mma be there when you wake up.
I got a plan and I'mma be right next to you before you know it.
[SIGHS.]
Mama's coming for you.
Until I get there, I need you to I need you to fight.
You put up those fists and you fight.
I ain't never gonna tell you that again after this, but today today Today, you fight.
You fight like hell! [BREATHES SHAKILY.]
I love you.
I love you, Benjamin Mendoza.
I love you so much.
I love you more than my life.
I would trade places with you.
I would trade places with you if I could.
[CRYING.]
I love you.
[IN SPANISH.]
You there? I'm sorry, did I cut you off? No, no.
It's fine.
They're here to take him down.
I'll call you as soon as I know anything.
Lourdes.
Thank you.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm all right.
- You sure? - [BREATHING SHAKILY.]
- My kid is in the hospital.
- [GASPS.]
Fuck.
- Sorry.
- [BREATH TREMBLING.]
Yeah.
It's ironic, you know? I'm this fucking criminal but I never thought about killing anyone until I had Pepa.
And then suddenly there was this tiny little girl that I made.
And when I looked at her when I saw her little feet, I knew I would do anything for her.
I would murder someone if I had to.
Releasing the hostages so you could see your son, is that worse or better than killing somebody? What the hell are you talking about? I made a deal.
Head of MCC say he will give me furlough if I released the hostages and ended all of this.
Are you serious? - How the fuck - I'mma take 'em to the Poo I'mma cut a hole in that fence and I'mma run.
I'mma run like hell.
You're running with them? - Yeah, yeah.
That's the plan.
- Shit.
- You a brave motherfucker.
- [SOBS.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Bitches in here would lynch me, not call me brave.
Look, I don't give a shit about this thing, all right? So if you ask me, you brave.
You fuckin' brave.
You do what you gotta do, you know? You don't owe nothing to no one in here.
- Really? - You ain't doing nothing every woman in here wouldn't do if she had the chance, so Hope it works.
Ah.
What are you doing? She loves those.
She don't need all that sugar, Ma.
Ay.
[SIGHS.]
You're too strict with her.
You let me have that crap when I was little? No.
But it's different.
She's my grandbaby.
No.
Aw! Look how cute! - [COOING.]
- [CAROLINA CHUCKLES.]
Hello! - Hi.
Hi, hello.
- [COOING.]
Hello.
She's beautiful.
- Is she yours? - Yeah.
[CAROLINA.]
What's her name? - [YADRIEL.]
Pepa.
- Pepa.
Hi, Pepa.
Your father's very handsome.
- Aren't you a lucky little girl? - [GIGGLES.]
[SING-SONG.]
He's single.
Have a nice day.
Oh.
Yeah.
You, too.
[PEPA COOING.]
Why do you always do that? - Do what? - Ignore girls.
- I don't need no girl, Ma.
- You do.
And don't think I don't know what you're doing, huh? Waiting around for Maria.
Hoping she's coming back.
Nothing's too good for my son.
Only jailbait criminals for him.
Don't call her that again.
[LINDA.]
Do you mind? But of course.
[BIG BOO CLEARS THROAT.]
Oh, God.
I wonder when this insanity is gonna end.
Why? Do you have some important prison business to get back to? [CHUCKLES.]
No.
But, uh, it's gotta end sometime, right? This can't go on forever.
Yeah, well, Attica lasted, what? Four days? I say they'll come in here and kill us all if we don't surrender within 24 hours.
There are innocent people in here.
I mean, I don't even belong I mean, there are There are people in here that didn't do anything, you know.
- [HAIR RIPS.]
- Ow! Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart.
That's okay.
Just be gentle.
Oh, I'll be gentle.
Are you okay? You're acting weird.
- Weird? - Yeah.
Hmm.
That's strange.
I wonder how that could be.
[CHUCKLES.]
I mean, it's not like I've been lied to, led on, or happen to be sleeping with the enemy.
Please.
That is not - I I didn't - Didn't what? Sneak in here undercover for the outside, you fucking mole! [STOMPS FOOT.]
No, I really didn't do that.
And the only thing you haven't lied about is being a cunt.
- Please.
This is a huge misunderstanding.
- Really? 'Cause I'm pretty clear about Caputo's dick in your mouth.
No, I have a narrow jaw.
That's not the point.
Please, just Okay.
If you just listen to me, I promise you, I promise you, - I will tell you the truth, okay? - [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Okay, it's [ALL ARGUING.]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! [GINA.]
Jesus, come on! What is wrong with you? That's enough! [SIGHS.]
Look at yourselves.
Fighting.
Yelling.
And breaking my shit.
Sorry about the chess board, Frieda.
[NICKY SIGHS.]
We're supposed to be the good guys.
- How did we get here? - Speed.
- Pot.
- Power does weird things to people.
You know, I I think not sleeping or eating while also being, you know, kidnapped and tortured might have just something to do with it.
Also, we're in the middle of overthrowing a prison.
Still not completely clear on the trajectory of that one.
- Thank you, Norma.
- Okay.
Now what? [FRIEDA.]
We need to establish a rationing system.
And try to hold on to our dignity.
Does someone want the other half of this because, uh, if not, you know If we're not gonna torture Piscatella, what the hell are we gonna do with him? [FRIEDA.]
We're gonna keep him tied up until this thing is over and then we'll hand him over.
I can't believe that man is going to walk free.
Uh would this help? [PIPER THROUGH SPEAKER.]
No! Stop it! [PISCATELLA.]
Oh, I've had enough of this insubordination.
- [INMATES EXCLAIMING.]
- You are federal inmates Holy shit! Gina, you magical nymph! - [KISSES.]
- I stand corrected.
This totally makes up for the electricity thing.
Fuckin' A! [PIPER ON SPEAKER.]
to you exactly what you are doing to us right now! You both look great in those curtains.
[GASPS.]
Uh [GRUNTS.]
[STAMMERS.]
[CHUCKLING.]
[GASPING.]
[ALISON AND JANAE EXCLAIMING.]
[JANAE.]
Please get down.
Just stop it.
That's that's that's not how it works! [GROANS.]
I think we gotta be firmer with her.
- [GRUNTING.]
- [JANAE YELLING.]
Yo! Stop! Yo! Yo! You better get your ass down here before the rest of these bitches throw it down for you! - What the hell is happening? - [GRUNTING AND YELLING.]
- She's trying to find heaven.
- Say what now? [GRUNTING.]
It's like she's hallucinating or something.
[SIGHS.]
- Man, where's Taystee? - [EXCLAIMS.]
I got this.
I don't wanna be here anymore! - I hate this place! - [COUGHING.]
I wanna go to the better place.
Please, let me in! Let me in! [SOBBING.]
I'll be good, I promise.
I'm good! Please! I'm good.
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, - I'm good, I'm good.
- [BLACK CINDY.]
Suzanne.
- Suzanne! - [GASPING.]
It's time for your medicine.
- I don't take medicine now.
- Yes, you do.
You know your schedule, right? Pill line, 10:00 and 4:00.
10:00 and 4:00.
Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
That's right.
And guess what time it is right now? [WHIMPERING.]
- 10:00? - Mmm-hmm.
So get your butt down here and take your meds before the COs gives you a shot.
[JANAE.]
Uh-huh.
[GRUNTS.]
- Listen, what the hell are you doing? - I'm getting her calmed down.
- With what, exactly? - Uh, lithium.
Look, I read somewhere it's good for for crazy.
Are you kidding me? You don't even know what it does.
[SUZANNE.]
And I'm not a bad person.
I'm guessin' she'll sleep for a little while, so what? [SUZANNE.]
I am good.
I am good.
She damn near ruined negotiations last night.
You want her to keep that shit up? [SUZANNE.]
Everything's going to be okay.
Shh! Yeah.
This is fucked up, man.
Shh! - Shh! - Tell me I ain't handling shit.
[WHIMPERS.]
Shh! - Shh! - Hey.
Hey.
Here you go.
[CRYING.]
Will these make me good? Yes.
[BREATHING SHAKILY.]
Good.
[COUGHS.]
You wanna lie down? Take a little nap? Watch yourself.
Okay.
- [SUZANNE SIGHS.]
- Hey.
Come on.
- Okay.
- [SNIFFLES.]
You know, my baby sister used to ask me to sing to her.
You want me to sing? Do you know "Take Me Out To The Ball Game"? The baseball song? My dad used to sing it to me.
And I like that part about the home team.
All right.
Sure.
Take me out to the ball game Take me out to the crowd Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks I don't care if I never get back For it's root, root, root For the home team If they don't win, it's a shame You gotta try it, Gloria.
It'll take your shit to the next level.
Yeah, we don't even gotta sleep no more.
We like some advanced kinda human.
- [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
- I'll stick with drinking my coffee.
[PANTING.]
What the fuck? - Where in the - No, no.
No, no, no, no.
[SOBBING.]
No! No, no, no, no! Oh, no! - [LUSCHEK.]
Damn.
- [GLORIA EXCLAIMS.]
[SOBS.]
[GASPING.]
Holy shit! [CRYING.]
[LEANNE.]
Come here, you little shit! [GASPING.]
- [LEANNE.]
No! No! [SCREAMS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- [PANTING.]
- [LEANNE.]
No! Don't let our finger go! He's too fast! - How the fuck did that hole - They escaped! [LUSCHEK.]
I'll be damned.
[GASPS.]
No, no! - [OUIJA.]
Fuck, no.
- No, no, no! [GLORIA.]
No! [OUIJA.]
We're all in this! - We all stay in! - No! - Please! You don't understand! - [PIDGE GRUNTS.]
- It's it's my son, I gotta see him! - Your son? - Is that what this is about? - [GASPING.]
You think the rest of us ain't got kids we'd like to see, you selfish piece of shit? [CRYING.]
He's gonna think I lied to him.
- Don't worry about it.
- [WHIMPERING.]
I'm sure it's not the first time you disappointed him.
Fuck.
[PANTING.]
- [OUIJA.]
Come on.
- [EXCLAIMS.]
No! [POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
We found a way Through the thicket Through bone-wide birches And blood red leaves Holding nothing But ourselves And all the treasures We kept inside will remain Under the wild skies And after some time I'd find you I'd find you in the woods I'd find you in the woods I'd find you in the woods
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