Party Down s03e03 Episode Script

First Annual PI2A Symposium

1
[dance music playing
over speakers]

Dude. New car?
Certified pre-owned.
Where'd you get the money
for it?
I have a prestigious vlog,
and I'm monetized on YouTube.
Yeah, over the years,
I've built
a loyal audience
of sci-fi enthusiasts
and intellectual sophisticates.
I admit it lacks the glamour
of dancing in a bathroom.
One million views.
A million people watched that?
And I just secured my first
sponsored content deal.
Soon I'll be buying
my own certified new car.
Chump move.
You lose 10% as soon
as you drive it off the lot.
All right,
then I'll just buy a new one.
The same thing'll happen.
And then I'll get a new one.
[belts squealing]
What?
Oh, hey, when the lights
say "check engine,"
is that serious, or is it
just, like, a reminder,
like "call your mother"?
Jesus, that's sad.
That'll never be me.
Nice, guys, nice.
Make sure it's nice and crisp.
Oh, that goes by the bathrooms,
yeah?
Evie, hi. Uh, how are you?
Uh, good, just, uh, you know,
working in the Valley.
Um, so--
Well, I also had a, uh--
a nice time last night.
- I--
- Cool, you had sex.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Henry had sex,
everyone, just so you know.
- Oh, whoa.
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Nice to meet you.
- Sorry.
I know we've only
gone out a few times,
but I have to ask a favor.
Um, okay.
The kids are supposed
to strike set today,
but I forgot to give them
the theater key,
so one of them's coming by
to pick it up,
but I left my keys at yours,
and yes, it has been
that kind of day.
That would be great.
I am meeting her
across the street at two,
so how about quarter till,
burger place
at Third and Flower?
Thank you. I owe you one.
" 'Tis Pity She's a Whore."
Sepulveda Basin
High School play.
I love Shakespeare.
That is not Shakespeare.
John Ford.
Eh, it's all weird
like Shakespeare.
That was the style back then.
Wait, do you know Shakespeare?
- A little. Why?
- It's just,
I haven't heard
on my Lost Boys callback,
and I need a backup,
so I got this audition
for an edgy
Shakespeare adaptation,
but it's tomorrow,
and I totally don't know
Shakespeare.
Like, what even language
is this?
What's "exeunt"?
Well, I actually got this,
but you have to give it back.
It's the teacher's edition.
Okay?
Dude! Yes!
Thank you.
- So what play is it?
- Othello.
What role are you up for?
- Othello.
- Othello?
Yeah. He's, like,
the main guy, right?
Well, yeah,
but blackface
is now considered
a little racist.
No, that's the edgy part.
They flipped it.
Everybody else is Black.
Othello is white.
That's why it's not racist.
Uh
Right?
I think it universalizes
a flawed play.
Like, is prejudice
only experienced
by Black people?
I was a victim
of racial prejudice.
Ah! A Black woman
threw his bike into a river.
Now, did William Woke-speare
write a play about that?
Food for thought.
Yeah. Thank you.
The fuck is this event?
"Restoring national greatness"?
What's "globalists"?
Guys, it's Kyle's old pals.
Fucking Nazis.
They're not my pals.
[upbeat jazzy music plays]
I can't believe you took a job
working for Nazis!
They're not actual Nazis.
Well, they're not not Nazis.
- Do you have no morals?
- Morals?
What does that have to do
with anything, okay?
This is just business.
Okay, okay, bookings
have been dead, all right,
and I'm behind on payments,
and if I don't pay on Monday,
they're gonna repossess my van.
All right?
So can we just do the gig,
get paid, forget about it,
and move on?
Can we do that?
I can't believe you took a job
working for Nazis!
Lucy, you've told me
five times in a row,
so if you wanna go out
and protest,
then feel free, all right?
Otherwise, can we just
hold our noses
and work for the Nazis?
Henry, you're cool with this,
right?
I mean, it's just business,
right, Henry?
No, but now I guess
I have to fix my car, so
Oh, so you're cool
working for Nazis?
No, but I--you know,
I'll provide poor service.
Well, Nazis or not, I mean,
I'd like to snag
some referrals.
For the record,
we are not Nazis.
Oh, no. Oh, Mr. Gluberd,
you're--um, um, no.
Uh, we-we were saying,
um, uh, uh, uh,
"nosies."
Hi. I'm Stuart.
I am the founder and president
of Policy Ideas 2 Action,
and this is the PI2A Symposium,
not the pizza symposium,
like some people
are misreading
due to a careless font choice.
You may not have heard of us,
but you will.
We're not Fox News
ranting heads.
We're not fascist goons
like the Rowdy Boys.
We are a new group building
a conservative politics
based on open-minded,
good-faith debate
in an open marketplace
of ideas.
Oh, see?
Open marketplace of ideas.
That sounds good to me. Uh--
Give us a chance.
What you hear
might surprise you.
State-run
universal health care,
ambitious, well-funded
national infrastructure
- Yeah.
- and high civic engagement.
Oh, yeah.
What do you think, liberals?
Sounds pretty good.
- [chuckling] Yeah.
- Welcome
to Hitler's Germany.
[applause]
[indistinct chatter]
Stuart, can you not see
the absurdity
of what you're asking?
I come to your supposed
marketplace of ideas,
where you then suggest I censor
the very ideas I brought
to said marketplace.
What is--what is the herb
I'm tasting?
I just hold the tray.
- Okay, look, look.
- Sublime.
A salute to your chef.
Dermott, all I ask
is, if you could, for once,
not bring up Hitler.
He gets a bad rap!
What if we only ever talked
about the worst thing
you ever did?
If we want to grow,
we have to think about optics.
We ignore everything
you've done for Western ideals
and instead just talk
about when you peed in a cup
at a Dodgers game and
spilled it on a little girl?
I didn't say
I won't pay alimony.
- I'm just asking--
- My point is,
to grow and achieve
the goal of national influence,
we must project
a positive image.
Constantly bringing up Hitler
doesn't help.
I gotta go.
I'm at the job I took
to pay alimony,
by the wa--
Jesus.
Martini with your finest gin.
You know who didn't care
about his image?
- Please don't say Hitler.
- Hitler.
And you're wrong.
He did have
some misguided policies,
but Hitler understood optics
as a key part
of growing an organization.
- Hmm.
- Martini
with our only gin.
Well, as a major donor,
I'm glad to see
you're coming around on Hitler.
Sprite, no ice.
- I said no ice.
- Oh.
Sorry. One of those days.
Your ex-wife?
Yeah.
I feel your pain.
As a champion
of the traditional family,
it is not easy shelling out
half my income
so my ex can take a white wine
life drawing class
with her friend Peg.
Oh, well, I appreciate that.
Wish she could see this.
Seaver Hamlin at the symposium
that she said
I could never make happen.
Seaver Hamlin?
Founder of Fresh Start USA?
Fox News correspondent?
Not the deepest
political thinker
but very famous,
with a mass audience.
The key middle step
in my three-part plan
to platform our agenda:
evolve in the idea space,
spread through the media
to the public sphere,
where it then enters
the lexicon
of the common man,
like yourself,
and voilà, we are a key player
in the national political
conversation.
Cool.
Could be a bigger turnout,
but it's a start.
Big things
have small beginnings.
David,
played by Michael Fassbender
in Prometheus.
Ah.
Mr. Gluberd,
you should see this.
New beginnings.
Wish us luck.
[Henry chuckles dryly]
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
We don't wanna see no Nazis.
Ah, look at these clowns.
Nazis, go home!
Well, I guess the news is out.
There's a new big, bad
conservative group in town.
[laughs]
Have Rhonda grab her phone.
Lucy, you can't do this!
I can't let Nazis
ingest and absorb
into the cells
of their Nazi bodies
something that I created
in a spirit of truth
and compassion.
I can't let you.
No, you can't let me.
You can't let me.
I own the company.
I let me!
I made this! That's ownership.
No, this is ownership!
Kyle, take these
and circulate them.
Sorry, Ron.
My conscience
just won't allow it.
Per your comment earlier,
I will be protesting
this event.
I'm sorry. I have no choice.
Just-- [sighs]
Damn it.
Damn it.
Fight! Fight!
Fight the alt-right!
- What's up?
- Fight! Fight!
- Fight the alt-right!
- Yes!
- Fuck is this?
- Hey, I-I just wanted
to say, uh, we are not down
with what is up in there.
Me especially,
not down with Nazis.
I came to show my support.
Um, yeah, I'll just, like,
yell stuff
or do some hand gestures.
Um, I'll be over there,
and, uh, do your thing.
Hey!
[protesters booing]
Okay.
[protesters jeering]
Hello. Hello.
Okay, hello.
I just wanted to come out
and say that we appreciate
you exercising
your freedom of expression,
which we also support
wholeheartedly.
Yeah, we believe that.
I know we have
our disagreements.
More than that, brother.
I support your right
to free speech
and encourage the spirit
of open debate--
- Debate this!
- Okay.
We don't care what you think.
Fuck you, and fuck free speech!
- Okay. Oh.
- Fuck you!
Fuck free speech!
Fuck you!
And if you're going to--
Fuck free speech!
Fuck you!
Fuck free speech!
Get out of here!
Yeah!
Fuck you!
Fuck free speech!
Fuck you!
Fuck free speech!
Okay, I need something
that's gonna give me
the ginkgo biloba I crave
and nano-lytes
for peak brain speed.
You just shake it up,
and it's ready.
Mmm!
WhamBatChu. Think fast.
Wow!
[phone chimes]
Yes.
So they pay you
to video yourself
consuming that.
Right, sponcon,
sponsored content.
- And what is it?
- WhamBatChu.
- Which is?
- I don't know.
Cool.
Hey, uh, can you grab the bar
for a sec?
Oh, are you quitting?
I wish.
Hey, hey. Excuse me.
I was wondering if you could
help me out a little bit here.
I'm an actor [laughs]
and I have
a big audition tomorrow,
and I really could use
someone's help
to run lines with me,
so I was wondering
Like, a real Hollywood actor?
That's me.
I was wondering maybe
- You guys.
- you could--
Check it out.
We've got ourselves
a real Hollywood actor.
How's it going? What's up?
That's hilarious.
No, no, no, seriously.
I-I was in Hardier Boys,
OC: The Return.
I was Bohdi.
And now you're in a protest?
- Yep.
- Typical Hollywood liberal.
Exactly.
No, it's a--
it's a disparaging term.
How? I'm totally liberal,
and I am definitely Hollywood,
so--
Hollywood like superficial,
like just for show.
Virtue signaling
without actually contributing
anything meaningful.
No, I-I'm against Nazis.
I put out two anti-Nazi videos
on Insta.
Oh, but you have an audition?
Yeah, for Othello.
Uh, one of the main parts
in that.
You know what?
Fighting Nazis
is more important.
Let's chant, baby.
Hey, hey!
Ho, ho!
Nazi shit has got to go! Right?
[sighs]
Hey, Evie.
Just checking on an ETA.
The kids'll be here
in ten minutes.
I was hoping to do the keys
before they show up.
Mr. Pollard?
Uh, Cloris. You're early.
And Riley.
So the key?
Well, I-I-I don't have it yet.
You're early.
Uh, just sit there.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Thank you for meeting me.
- Sure. But why here?
Aren't you working
across the street?
Well, they don't know
I have this job,
and I barely have any authority
over them anyway,
and they're just vicious.
They're--
- Hi.
- Hi.
I wanted to say
I had a really nice time
this weekend.
- Yeah.
- Oh, look. Children.
Jesus.
I thought they were over there.
Didn't I say be over there?
It's not school.
It's real life.
You can't order us around.
Uh, okay.
Evie, this is Riley and Cloris,
and they are here early
for the theater keys.
Oh, so you're in the play.
I'm Annabella, the female lead.
I hook up with my brother,
and he murders me
and rips out my heart.
- Gross.
- And I'm the bad guy.
The brother's not the bad guy?
No.
It's very complicated morally.
Wow, this is the play
you picked.
Uh, it is what I inherited
from the shit-stirring
old hippie who I replaced.
You must be learning a lot.
Henry's a terrific actor.
Really?
Like a professional actor?
You never told us that.
You got, like,
an agent and a manager?
- Were you in anything?
- Not really.
Well, obviously
not a ton of stuff,
or he wouldn't be teaching
at Basin.
Okay.
Evie, do you have those keys?
- Uh--
- Yeah.
Great.
[phone chimes]
So not really anything.
Well, some films, TV,
and, you know,
"Are we having fun yet?"
[both chuckle]
- [gasps] That's you?
- Okay.
This here's the key.
You are good to go.
And I need to get back
to my errands, okay?
- Actually, Mr. Pollard--
- No. Guys, I gotta go.
Really gotta go.
All right? Thank you. Bye.
- See you soon.
- Break legs.
I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to do
with kids that age.
- What are they?
- No one knows.
It's--they're animals.
Did they not know
you used to act?
Was I not supposed to say?
No, whatever. It's fine.
Now they know, right?
Mm.
Uh, look,
I wish I didn't have to,
but I really gotta run.
It's just a crap day.
Oh, it's fine.
I-I just wanted to
Never mind. Call me later.
Okay.
- Fuck you!
- No.
Fuck free speech!
Fuck you!
Jesus.
God. This is so annoying!
What is?
Oh, um [sniffles]
did you see the protesters
outside?
Yeah. It's all over Twitter.
It's just painful
when people I agree with
look stupid.
Yeah, you know you're not
doing it right
when the Nazis look reasonable
and everybody's rooting
for the Rowdy Boys.
- The what?
- The right-wing guys
who like to fight
with left-wingers.
They have
the most-liked comment,
"Bash those commie worms."
Oh, my God.
What is that?
It's, uh, WhamBatChu.
I was supposed to shoot
sponcon videos,
but it blew out
my entire digestive system,
top and bottom, both times.
You did it more than once?
I really do want a new car.
You're the chef?
I am.
I just wanted to offer
my sincere compliments.
The food is sublime.
Biting into your
raclette pissaladière,
I had a sensation
of tumbling pell-mell
down the slope of the Jungfrau,
bracingly whipped as I went
by fresh spring stems
of marigold, Alpine garlic,
wild marjoram.
D-d--um
it's the Eiger, actually,
- but I
- Of course.
can't believe you got that.
His opposite
is the twink subset,
whose weakling persona
is a deliberate affront
to the traditional
Western ideal
- of robust masculinity
- Mr. Gluberd.
radiating both
prepubescent helplessness
It's Seaver Hamlin.
He can't make it.
a deliberate attack
What?
on the traditional family!
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
Kyle?
You fascist scum
have got to go!
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
Mmm.
And this is swine butter
on rugbrod
with shaved granite and grass.
[slurps]
Oh. Oh. Oh.
[laughs]
It's like falling
from a great height
into a fjord.
[Lucy sighs]
I mean
Another thing my boss
would never let me serve.
How do you stand
this situation?
I mean, you must feel
like an eagle
stuck riding a Greyhound bus.
It can be frustrating.
Your employer is clearly
a subhuman imbecile
[laughs]
devoid of fine sentiment.
In the society we're building,
the extraordinary,
like yourself,
will be elevated,
and a lumpen oaf like him
will be cast down
to his natural station
as a toilet wiper.
Uh
[Dermott laughs]
[clears throat]
I have work to do.
I see.
The appreciation of a Nazi
is not welcome.
- It's not that.
- No, don't apologize.
I loathe your politics,
but I can still appreciate
your art.
So point, Dermott.
- Oh, my God.
- They got a guy out there
doing full-on
skull shape stuff.
Oh, fun. Invite him back here
for a bite.
Right? Fuck it.
Let's get 'em all in here.
You could open your own
Nazi restaurant.
[sighs]
Lebensraum.
No?
Look, Nazis enjoy your work.
Embrace it.
- You're one to talk.
- What?
Who do you think
watches your vlog?
Sci-fi enthusiasts.
Intellectual sophisticates.
Do you ever
go through your comments,
see who's linking to you
or where they're linking from?
Sometimes.
'Cause the vast majority of 'em
are the anti-PC crowd,
see, Gamergaters,
and men's rights activists.
- In other words--
- Nazis.
And incels.
But, you know,
you got a used car.
Certified pre-owned.
Oh.
I had no idea. I swear.
I hate Nazis.
As do I.
- What is this?
- WhamBatChu.
We are gonna fuck 'em up.
Yeah. Okay.
God damn it, Seaver.
The fucking champion
of the common man
gets his foot run over
by a truck
driven by a fucking common man?
What are the odds?
Seaver was supposed to be
the first part of the plan.
This always happens.
I'm so close, and then just
nope. [chuckles]
To always be so close,
but you just can't get there,
- it's just--
- I hear ya.
I've been there.
I feel your pain.
You were in politics?
Uh showbiz.
Sure. You know what it's like
pushing through
despite the odds.
Until the odds won
and I became a teacher.
And you're okay with that?
Well, ups and downs,
but I do not miss
rolling the rock up the hill.
[chuckles] I get it.
Greatness is not for everyone.
This is why I keep pushing on
and why I'll never stop.
So I can put my agenda to work
for guys like you.
Right, the common man.
We'll get there,
Seaver or no Seaver.
I still have a few tricks
up my sleeve.
Yeah!
[items rustling]
- Jesus!
- Oh! Dude, hey.
Sorry for calling you
a fascist earlier.
Heat of the moment.
We threw everything we had
at the Nazis,
so we got some hungry
justice warriors out there.
Come on, baby!
I'm coming, comrades!
Oh, hey.
Sorry to barge in at work.
What event is this?
Oh, it's just some Nazi thing.
You should check it out
if you wanna see
how fucked up this scene
can get.
So yeah, that's actually
why I wanted to talk to you.
Ah, Henry.
You gonna do it again?
- Roman, for fuck's sake
- Do what?
Uh, where did
these appetizers go?
Uh, Kyle took them out
to the protesters.
- No.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
- Have fun!
Shit! Kyle!
Kyle!
What was all that?
Just how it is, uh
most of the time.
Why don't I call you
- Call me later.
- later?
- Yeah.
- Right.
- Is, uh
- This is the thing.
I came to bring you
the keys earlier,
but it felt weird.
Yeah, uh, sorry about that.
There's, you know, the kids
- That was unexpected.
- and work,
and, I--you know,
this thing with my car.
It is a lot. I get that.
Yeah, and tending bar
for Nazis.
- Actual Nazis?
- Nazi-adjacent
- Right.
- so still, uh, pretty bad,
Maybe I'll just
give you a call--
So we are keeping our distance.
The--no. No, we're--
No, it's fine if we are.
We're hooking up.
That's a thing people do.
I-I just wanna be honest
this time
so I know what to expect.
Right, sure.
Because I think
there's something here
- Really?
- but maybe it isn't
the best day to have
that discussion.
No, look, I'm sorry.
It's, uh--it's not today.
It's, uh
everything.
My car is falling apart.
I'm stuck doing this play.
My divorce is messy.
- You're tending bar for Nazis.
- Yeah.
I mean, this is not
how I envisioned my 40s, okay?
Maybe I just
don't want you to
see the mess.
Like, it's-it's--
uh, it's too real
or-or something.
Jesus Christ!
[Evie gasps]
What are you doing here?
Well, Riley wanted
to talk to you,
so we followed her.
Okay. Can it wait?
What are you wearing?
Uh, this is for work.
- For teaching?
- Other work.
Are you a magician?
Mr. Pollard, I think
I wanna quit the play.
What?
Okay, uh
c-c-can you guys
just go there for a sec?
Come here. Sorry. Um--
Uh, Evie, I'm sorry.
No, I get it.
This is very real.
Yeah. Uh, is that a bad thing?
It's different.
You did say you didn't want
fairy-tale shit.
It's not fairy-tale shit.
No.
But it's something?
'Cause I feel like it's--
it's at least something.
It's definitely something.
Yeah.
Mm. I have a, um,
- new draft of Human Tree
- Sure.
waiting for me at home.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'll see you
Tonight?
Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
- All right.
- Mm-hmm.
[both] Ooh!
[laughter]
[Evie clears throat]
Uh, okay.
So you guys have the key,
so you're good to go.
I was gonna quit the play.
Right.
Uh, why?
We don't wanna see no Nazis!
- We don't wanna see
- Hey.
Yeah! Welcome to the right side
of history, comrades!
What did you do
with the tiny tarts you took?
Oh, I gave 'em to the crew.
They loved 'em.
Oh, shit, uh, the Rowdy Boys.
What?
[all clamoring]
Bring it, you Nazi bastards!
Uh, uh, dude, dude,
actually, can you just--
[groaning]
I got you, brother!
Fuck you!
[retching]
Wait a second.
He's not a protester.
Wait, Ky-Kyle,
they're not protesters.
They're Nazis pretending
to be protesters.
I bumped into that guy inside.
This is all to get attention.
You socialist scum
have ten seconds
to get the fuck out of here!
- Fuck you, you fascist bastard.
- No, no!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
- Oh, uh!
- Same team! Same team!
[laughter]
Same team!
We're National Greatness
Conservatives!
[stomach growling]
[retches]
Get 'em, boys!
[yells]
Roman! Roman!
Oh, thank you. Look--
The Rowdy Boys rolled up,
and they're just shellacking
those protesters.
- What?
- Yeah, they're just
- Oh, shit.
- stomping on this one
blond guy.
Those are our people.
- What?
- What?
Fake protest,
get on social media,
part of the visibility plan.
Ah, the classic false flag.
Three-dimensional chess, huh.
[glass shatters, people yelp]
Fuck!
Thing is, Mr. Pollard,
I only tried out
so I could skip PE.
Sure, but you had
a really good audition.
You got a big part.
Vasques kinda sucks.
Exactly.
I mean, some people suck.
But they're still people.
Look, that's what was always
interesting to me,
like, as an actor, just
good or, uh, bad or whatever,
just, you know,
finding that-that
piece of humanity
in a-a character
that the audience
connects with.
For me, it's less about acting
and more about reacting.
Cloris, not now.
It's just a bunch
of pretending.
Like, what's it good for?
Well, pretend things
can mean something too.
[door clicks open]
What do you mean,
not paying?
I said, due to damage
to the venue,
I will pay next month.
But n--I don't need
the money next month.
I need the money now.
Well, talk to the Rowdy Boys.
[Ron sighs]
Look, I have expenses.
I gotta pay my people.
I have van payments.
And I'm in the same boat.
Wanna have
your lawyer call mine?
My lawyer?
Ugh. Jesus Christ.
So sorry, we're not
getting paid this week?
Party Down
will be reimbursed
- down the road.
- Down the road is
I'm fucked.
You f--you're fucked? M-my van.
Yeah, and you know
I have to get my car fixed.
You know my ex-wife
i-i-is gonna kill me.
- I know, but--
- Okay, well,
what happened to, "Been there"?
What happened to,
"I feel your pain"?
I do, but--
But you're trying
to reach the common man,
but you know nothing
about the common man.
You don't give a shit about
the common man, seriously.
You're looking a common man
right in the eyes right now
and totally fucking him over.
I mean, Jesus Christ,
I'm 46 years old.
My ex-wife is going
to kill me in court.
They're going to take away
my fucking car--
my car!
They're gonna take my home.
I don't know what else.
I have nothing.
I have nothing.
[sniffles]
I-I-- [sobs]
[door bangs open]
[Henry crying] I have nothing.
Stuart, the manager
of the venue
would like to speak with you.
Dermott, can you, um,
cover the invoice
for these people?
Sure.
And tip's included.
[Dermott clears throat]
I assume this means
Hitler's Germany remains
the key example
in my presentation?
[sighs]
Yes
for now.
Fucking Nazis.
See?
Pretend.
I'm 42, by the way.
[upbeat jazzy music plays]

Just, like, fists everywhere.
It was actually amazing.
You know,
when they were whaling on me,
it was, like,
the most alive I've ever felt.
Don't you have
a big audition tomorrow?
Oh, yeah. Why?
I can't believe that's you.
That's my favorite meme.
What the hell is this? No.
This is
"Are we having fun yet?"
See, talking
about a beer commercial.
Wait, you were in a commercial?
Like, a national campaign?
Yup. Helped pay
for a brand-new car.
[rock music playing,
people laughing]
Oh!

Are we having fun yet?
Whoa.

[Cloris laughs]
[upbeat jazzy music plays]
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