Phineas and Ferb s01e06 Episode Script
Raging Bully (15 min)
Jeremy is so cute, especially when he's in his Mr.
Slushy Dog Uniform.
Candace, my jazz trio has a gig at the Squat 'n Stitch today.
Why don't you, Phineas and Ferb hang out at the mall together? The mall? I can visit Jeremy at Mr.
Slushy Dog! Testing.
Welcome everyone, uh, we'll be playing some free formed jazz today.
It might get a little crazy, so, hold on to those knitting needles.
Hit it, girls! Alright, squirts.
Here's your cut.
I'll see you back here in 2 hours.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Mr.
Slushy Dog.
Hey, where's Perry? Sorry about that, Agent P.
Our slide waxing guy has jury duty this weekend.
Anyhow, Doofenshmirtz has purchased some suspicious items: He's hiding out at the old abandoned cake factory on the edge of T-- Carl, the light bulb and the "6000".
Still on the screen.
Ah, thanks, Carl.
Locate Doofenshmirtz and figure out what he's up to.
Don't fail us, Agent P.
Oh, hey Candace.
Heh.
My cell phone appears to be ringing.
Whoops! My camera went off! Well, that was an interesting experiment.
Excuse me, but why are you not studying? It's summer vacation.
You know, no school, and teachers aren't around, and all you have to worry about are bullies? Eh, Buford? That seat's kinda taken.
This table's taken.
Sit somewhere else.
What about Baljeet? Please go.
You will just make him angry.
This is gonna hurt.
Hey! Put him down! Do as she says! Violence can only lead to more violence.
Sounds good to me.
Hold it! World heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield? Aren't you a little old to be a professional boxer? Yes.
Yes I am.
Cool.
If you have to fight, do it the time-honored way, out behind the mall at 3 o'clock.
Uh, Ferb.
How's our 3 o'clock? We'll be there.
Don't be late.
My mom's pickin' me up at 4.
It looks like we found something to do today.
What you have found is a one-way magic carpet ride to your own destruction.
He's right.
Remember what happened to the last kid Buford fought? You win this round, Buford.
I don't want that to happen to you.
It won't, 'cause I'm gonna train him.
(Song: He's a Bully) Your opponent is as big as an ape So if you wanna avoid being mangled Just like him, you've got to get into shape And by shape I don't mean a triangle He's big, he's dumb, he's got the I.
Q.
of gum He's got the brain about the size of a sourdough crumb But he'll beat on your head like a big bass drum His behavior is truly unruly He's a bully! (He's a bully!) Yeah, he's a bully! (He's a bully!) Yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah-yeah! Here you go, brawl at the mall.
Brawl at the mall.
"The Brawl at the mall"? What do you two think you're doing? You can't just go building a boxing ring out here in the mall parking lot! I'm telling Mom right now! Mom, Phineas and Ferb are at it again! Not now, Candace.
Oh, My solo! Oh, I need proof.
The flyer! Perry the Platypus! I trapped you in a giant bowl filled to the brim with Doonkelberry cake mix.
You see, today is my birthday! Struggle all you want, Perry the Platypus.
But in 30 to 40 minutes, the yeast will rise, and you'll be buried alive! Here, have some.
Unfortunately, my birthday has always been the lousiest day of the year.
It all began on the day of my actual birth Both of my parents failed to show up.
By the age of 5, I was forced to throw my own surprise party.
At Gunther Goat Cheese's.
The goat-cheesiest place in all of Druselstein.
Many of my closest friends were there.
Count Wolfgang, Betty the She-Boar, Raputin, and the licekins, Olga and Chicago Joe.
Hello, boys andâ Oh.
Hmm Awkward.
Uh, hey kid, lock up when you're done, okay? But one should never walk the paths of Druselstein.
With uncovered Doonkelberry cake, lest the Doonkelberry bats swarm.
But this year, I won't be celebrating my birthday alone.
Behold! The Slave-inator! You see, the crowd will do whatever the Slave-inator tells them to do! I even have a cleanup party button, because the worst part of a party is the cleanup, am I right? Farewell, Perry the Platypus, and happy birthday to me! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! He's from a broken home, he's howdy's breaking bones, Buford the Bully! Aaaaaaand in this corner, he's got moves, he's got grace, his nose takes up his entire face, Fabulous Phineas Flynn! Okay, boys.
Let's have a fair and square fight, and in no way should this ensuing fight contain the image of a potentially harmful, hurtful, or psychologically disturbing physical act, that could be found imitatable by an impressionable child viewer.
Aw! Boys and girls,let's get ready to Thumb Wrestle! Sorry, we're out of flyers.
Poster? Nope.
Action figures? Sold out.
Commemorative coin? All gone.
Those sold like hot cakes.
Photo! Yes! Photographic evidence! Perry the Platypus! Well, if you're gonna crash my party, you're gonna need a party hat.
A party hat of doom! I declare a thumb war! The fighters spring to life, they're squaring up to each other, YOW! Flynn hits the mat! Buford gots him where he wants him, and look, and oh! Into the turnbuckle! Clothesline! That can't feel good! Hold onto your seats folks, this one's gonna be brutal! Still hanging around, Perry the Platypus? Why don't you let go? Doesn't it hurt your fingers? I don't think this is going so well.
Nonsense, kid.
Go for the gold! Fight fire with fire! Aw, shoot.
Shoot him the stink-eye! Uh, grease the pig! Ah, I got nothing.
A right hook! A darting left jab! No! Photo, photo, photo, photo.
Buford is climbing the turnbuckles! He's on the top rope! Oh! The dreaded Boston belt sander! Mom!!! Finally, indisputable photographic evidence of dangerous and irresponsible behavior! Candace, this is your thumb in front of the lens.
Oh you are coming with me! And now, Perry the Platypus, I will smudge your face with ice cream! Wait-wait, W-what are you doing? What is that? No! Wait! It's going so badly! No! Oh, the humanity! Flynn falls hard! The crowd's on its feet! It's going so badly! It's over! It's all over! Our hero's on the rope and now it's looking like the end Ice cream fell on you! Now we're both humiliated in public.
Whaddya say? Even Steven? Sure Buford.
Even Steven.
Wait! How did you do th-- Hey, where did that whale come from? Oh, this is the worst party ever! Ahh! My birthday cake! Goodbye, Perry the Platypus! At least I still have my cake! Curse you, Perry the platypus! Hey, I have a strange urge to clean up this mess Me too Let's do it I'll take care of the whale Thank you, Mr.
Holyfield.
Yeah.
Wouldn't have been real without you.
Happy to help you boys find a slightly less valid way to settle your differences.
There you are, Perry.
SEE?!! Hi, Mom! Hi, boys! If you'll excuse me, Candace, I'm gonna get back for the second set.
Hey, Dinnerbell, that was the best battle ever.
Same thing tomorrow? Nah.
I like to keep moving forward.
Sharks have to continue to move forward, or they'll drown.
You calling me a shark? Blagh! Fer-rb?! Well, he was all up on my face.
What happened?
Slushy Dog Uniform.
Candace, my jazz trio has a gig at the Squat 'n Stitch today.
Why don't you, Phineas and Ferb hang out at the mall together? The mall? I can visit Jeremy at Mr.
Slushy Dog! Testing.
Welcome everyone, uh, we'll be playing some free formed jazz today.
It might get a little crazy, so, hold on to those knitting needles.
Hit it, girls! Alright, squirts.
Here's your cut.
I'll see you back here in 2 hours.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Mr.
Slushy Dog.
Hey, where's Perry? Sorry about that, Agent P.
Our slide waxing guy has jury duty this weekend.
Anyhow, Doofenshmirtz has purchased some suspicious items: He's hiding out at the old abandoned cake factory on the edge of T-- Carl, the light bulb and the "6000".
Still on the screen.
Ah, thanks, Carl.
Locate Doofenshmirtz and figure out what he's up to.
Don't fail us, Agent P.
Oh, hey Candace.
Heh.
My cell phone appears to be ringing.
Whoops! My camera went off! Well, that was an interesting experiment.
Excuse me, but why are you not studying? It's summer vacation.
You know, no school, and teachers aren't around, and all you have to worry about are bullies? Eh, Buford? That seat's kinda taken.
This table's taken.
Sit somewhere else.
What about Baljeet? Please go.
You will just make him angry.
This is gonna hurt.
Hey! Put him down! Do as she says! Violence can only lead to more violence.
Sounds good to me.
Hold it! World heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield? Aren't you a little old to be a professional boxer? Yes.
Yes I am.
Cool.
If you have to fight, do it the time-honored way, out behind the mall at 3 o'clock.
Uh, Ferb.
How's our 3 o'clock? We'll be there.
Don't be late.
My mom's pickin' me up at 4.
It looks like we found something to do today.
What you have found is a one-way magic carpet ride to your own destruction.
He's right.
Remember what happened to the last kid Buford fought? You win this round, Buford.
I don't want that to happen to you.
It won't, 'cause I'm gonna train him.
(Song: He's a Bully) Your opponent is as big as an ape So if you wanna avoid being mangled Just like him, you've got to get into shape And by shape I don't mean a triangle He's big, he's dumb, he's got the I.
Q.
of gum He's got the brain about the size of a sourdough crumb But he'll beat on your head like a big bass drum His behavior is truly unruly He's a bully! (He's a bully!) Yeah, he's a bully! (He's a bully!) Yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah-yeah! Here you go, brawl at the mall.
Brawl at the mall.
"The Brawl at the mall"? What do you two think you're doing? You can't just go building a boxing ring out here in the mall parking lot! I'm telling Mom right now! Mom, Phineas and Ferb are at it again! Not now, Candace.
Oh, My solo! Oh, I need proof.
The flyer! Perry the Platypus! I trapped you in a giant bowl filled to the brim with Doonkelberry cake mix.
You see, today is my birthday! Struggle all you want, Perry the Platypus.
But in 30 to 40 minutes, the yeast will rise, and you'll be buried alive! Here, have some.
Unfortunately, my birthday has always been the lousiest day of the year.
It all began on the day of my actual birth Both of my parents failed to show up.
By the age of 5, I was forced to throw my own surprise party.
At Gunther Goat Cheese's.
The goat-cheesiest place in all of Druselstein.
Many of my closest friends were there.
Count Wolfgang, Betty the She-Boar, Raputin, and the licekins, Olga and Chicago Joe.
Hello, boys andâ Oh.
Hmm Awkward.
Uh, hey kid, lock up when you're done, okay? But one should never walk the paths of Druselstein.
With uncovered Doonkelberry cake, lest the Doonkelberry bats swarm.
But this year, I won't be celebrating my birthday alone.
Behold! The Slave-inator! You see, the crowd will do whatever the Slave-inator tells them to do! I even have a cleanup party button, because the worst part of a party is the cleanup, am I right? Farewell, Perry the Platypus, and happy birthday to me! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! He's from a broken home, he's howdy's breaking bones, Buford the Bully! Aaaaaaand in this corner, he's got moves, he's got grace, his nose takes up his entire face, Fabulous Phineas Flynn! Okay, boys.
Let's have a fair and square fight, and in no way should this ensuing fight contain the image of a potentially harmful, hurtful, or psychologically disturbing physical act, that could be found imitatable by an impressionable child viewer.
Aw! Boys and girls,let's get ready to Thumb Wrestle! Sorry, we're out of flyers.
Poster? Nope.
Action figures? Sold out.
Commemorative coin? All gone.
Those sold like hot cakes.
Photo! Yes! Photographic evidence! Perry the Platypus! Well, if you're gonna crash my party, you're gonna need a party hat.
A party hat of doom! I declare a thumb war! The fighters spring to life, they're squaring up to each other, YOW! Flynn hits the mat! Buford gots him where he wants him, and look, and oh! Into the turnbuckle! Clothesline! That can't feel good! Hold onto your seats folks, this one's gonna be brutal! Still hanging around, Perry the Platypus? Why don't you let go? Doesn't it hurt your fingers? I don't think this is going so well.
Nonsense, kid.
Go for the gold! Fight fire with fire! Aw, shoot.
Shoot him the stink-eye! Uh, grease the pig! Ah, I got nothing.
A right hook! A darting left jab! No! Photo, photo, photo, photo.
Buford is climbing the turnbuckles! He's on the top rope! Oh! The dreaded Boston belt sander! Mom!!! Finally, indisputable photographic evidence of dangerous and irresponsible behavior! Candace, this is your thumb in front of the lens.
Oh you are coming with me! And now, Perry the Platypus, I will smudge your face with ice cream! Wait-wait, W-what are you doing? What is that? No! Wait! It's going so badly! No! Oh, the humanity! Flynn falls hard! The crowd's on its feet! It's going so badly! It's over! It's all over! Our hero's on the rope and now it's looking like the end Ice cream fell on you! Now we're both humiliated in public.
Whaddya say? Even Steven? Sure Buford.
Even Steven.
Wait! How did you do th-- Hey, where did that whale come from? Oh, this is the worst party ever! Ahh! My birthday cake! Goodbye, Perry the Platypus! At least I still have my cake! Curse you, Perry the platypus! Hey, I have a strange urge to clean up this mess Me too Let's do it I'll take care of the whale Thank you, Mr.
Holyfield.
Yeah.
Wouldn't have been real without you.
Happy to help you boys find a slightly less valid way to settle your differences.
There you are, Perry.
SEE?!! Hi, Mom! Hi, boys! If you'll excuse me, Candace, I'm gonna get back for the second set.
Hey, Dinnerbell, that was the best battle ever.
Same thing tomorrow? Nah.
I like to keep moving forward.
Sharks have to continue to move forward, or they'll drown.
You calling me a shark? Blagh! Fer-rb?! Well, he was all up on my face.
What happened?