Phineas and Ferb s01e34 Episode Script

Prepare to feel the wrath of Buford.
Don't bring that smack-talk around here.
This is my house! Technically, it's our garage.
She's on a roll.
No girl has ever beaten Buford.
Watch and learn.
It takes a highly trained eye and a quick wrist to To score like that, Buford? Hey! I wasn't ready.
Stacy, what am I going to do? Jeremy's coming over to take my picture for his photo class.
So, what's the? Oh! Yeah.
You think he'll notice? This is the worst bad hair day ever! I'm officially freaking out! I'll call and cancel.
No, wait! Just wear a hat.
Yeah! A hat! How's this? Well, your hair looks better.
Yeah, but the strap is cutting off my I'm gonna need something stronger.
Alright! This is the tie-breaker.
I thought the last two were.
Nah.
It's this one.
Tell you what I'm going to do, Buford.
I'm going take this ball and I'm going hit into your goal in one shot.
Oh, is that right? Absolutely.
And you want to know the funny part? There's nothing you can do about it! Bring it! You missed.
Wait for it.
What about this? Ain't that how it works, Buford? Wow.
Nice foosing, Isabella.
Thanks.
You guys are making such a racket that I can't focus.
And I need time to fix my hair.
'Cause when Jeremy gets here, I don't wanna be wearing this stupid- Hey, Candace.
Hello, Jeremy.
Ha! You look sporty.
Oh, you like it? Well, that's perfect.
The sport shoot.
Well, that didn't really count, 'cause it's just a dainty little girls' game.
It could be the biggest game in the world, and girls could still beat boys.
Biggest game in the world.
Did you get that, Phineas? Yeah, we're on it.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Great.
It's boys against girls.
And to give ya a fair shot, I'll even take Shrimpy here.
I am honored.
So, who's on your team? Candace, can you be on the girls' team with me? Isabella, I'm a little busy right- Well, perfect.
Real action shots.
Oh, you'll look great.
Really? Okay, I'm in.
Hey, where's Perry? Doobie doobie doo-wah There you are, Agent P.
Sorry about the stairs.
Our elevator maintenance guy is on a corporate retreat with our slide-waxing guy.
Anyway, our intelligence tells us that Doofenshmirtz has been shopping around for a show dog.
We need you to infiltrate the pet store and uncover his evil plan.
Me? I'm goin' home early.
It's taco night.
Agent P! So those are the official rules for the F-Games.
Any questions? Yeah.
Why are they called the F-Games? Yeah! Yeah! Why is that? "F".
For Ferb.
Ohh.
I, too, have a question.
If I miss the third shuttlecock with my rubber chicken, does Buford have to jump over the chokecherry bush before or after the girls finish peeling their tangerines? After! Aw, man, pay attention.
You're embarrassing me.
All right.
Then let's get out there.
(Song: F-Games) Wow.
Definitely big.
Na-na na-na na Na-na na-na na Na-na na-na na na na na-na na Na-na na-na na Na-na na-na na Na-na na-na na na na na-na na Don't wanna hear no smack talk You wanna call your mama, here's a dime It's time to walk the walk-walk You gotta rapid skate, get on the line So get your game on Or else it's shame on you Gimme an "F" F! Gimme an "F F-Games Are you a contender? Gimme an "F" F! Gimme an "F" F-Games In the battle of the genders! Na-na na-na na Na-na na-na na Yeah Na-na na-na na na na na-na na Yeah! Na-na na-na na Na-na na-na na F-Games Na-na na-na na na na na-na na Ooh.
Extra points for recycling.
The girls' score is now the square root of pi, while the boys still have a crudely drawn picture of a duck.
Clearly, it's still anyone's game.
Yes, I-I'm looking for a purebred show dog.
Well, we have various award-winning breeds to choose from.
Ooh, what about him? He's perfect.
Oh, yes.
Coochie-coochie-coo.
You are Doctor D's precious little puppy, aren't you? Sir, I'm not even sure if that's a dog.
Don't try to wheel and deal with me.
I get a big alimony check every month, so money's no object.
Oh.
Well, in that case, he's ten thousand dollars.
Oh, coochie-coochie.
You are my little coochie-coochie.
You are my ticket into the Danville Dog Show.
And together, we will make them pay for all I have suffered.
Back when I was just a little schtumpel, my father came home with a brand-new spitzenhound puppy that he won in a game of "Poke the Goozim With a Stick".
My father said the dog was like the son he never had, and named him Only Son.
Only Son became an award-winning show dog, bringing my father fame and fortune, while I was forced to be the lawn gnome.
Y-You remember that story, right? With my neighbor, Kenny? I-I don't have to go through- O-Okay.
So, to recap, my entire fragile self-esteem is totally dependent on your performance today at the dog show.
But, y-you know No pressure.
And don't worry about your lack of training and experience, because I have an ace in the hole.
This! The Misbehavinator.
It, uh Well It-It does what the name implies.
Watch this.
Bad dog! Ah, nothing can stop us now.
Hey- Hey, what was all that about? Perry! Perry the Platypus? Uh.
.
Now I'm very embarrassed about all that "coochie-coochie-coo" stuff.
Wait, wait.
Where- Where are you going? Bring back my Misbehavinator! And now for the tiebreaker event.
Giant foosball.
Get ready to foos.
This is so my game.
But didn't Isabella beat you at this earlier? Quiet, you! Ready, Candace? I feel like a kebab.
I, too, feel a certain element of kebabism.
I said quiet, you.
Let's play.
There's the first ball.
I feel this may not be the best way to block a shot.
Clearly I was- Clearly I was wrong about that.
That was most effective.
What? Candace blocks.
The ball is up Candace.
It's going It's going It's going Oh, my.
Oh! Isabella, I have feet too, you know.
Sorry, Candace.
Suddenly I am not feeling so fresh.
Looks like we've reached the all-important fruit level! The what? And it looks like the final ball is drifting lazily into neutral territory.
Folks, we may be looking at a draw.
Oh, no, we're not.
Buford, no! That would be cheating.
Boys rule! Ah, my hair! Jeremy's gonna see my hair! Uh-oh.
Oof! They've done it! The girls have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat! She's Candace! Wow, Candace, your hair looks great.
Really? Well, Buford, that was a great game.
Come on, be a good sport.
Like I said before, losing to a girl doesn't count.
What I meant to say was I had a wonderful time.
I guess you were right.
Girls are just as good as boys.
Thanks again.
Woo-hoo! The F-Games rock.
That was completely out of character.
T minus three two one Thanks, guys.
It was a lot of fun.
The next F-Games will be even better.
Yeah, but much better is when Mom sees this.
Look at that thing.
I'd just like to see you try to get rid of that before Mom- Hey, kids! What's new? Nothing, Mom.
Absolutely nothing is new.
Well, your hair sure looks new.
I like it.
Thanks.
It took a lot to get it this way.
Oh, there you are, Perry.