Phineas and Ferb s03e62 Episode Script

I've got you now, Perry the Platypus! This is the most sophisticated trap I have ever invented.
In fact, it's so escape-proof that– That I couldn't get that guy out.
So, I had to build a whole new trap to catch you.
And of course, I had to buy a new plastic skeleton for Halloween.
It's a pitiable existence I lead, Perry the Platypus.
Do– Do you pity me? You should 'cause I'm pitiable.
Everyone should pity me.
Eh, you don't have to say pity too many times before it stops sounding like a word.
Pity.
Pity.
Pit– Pity.
Pity.
Pit– Pity.
Pity.
Pit– See? That is only like two times and it's already just gobbledygook.
Gobbledygook, too.
I can't– I can't even get through that once.
Gobbledy– Uh, see, I'm not even consider the last syllable and it's already– Great.
Now, I'm forgetting what I was talking about.
Which is another reason to pity me! Yeah! Back on topic, baby! You see, I-I figured if I get myself big sad eyes, people would pity me and get me whatever I want.
And to that end Behold, the Big-Sad-Eye-inator! You like it? It sums up a lot of juice, so I'm running it at night when the electricity is cheaper.
But the nighttime is the right time for a party.
A pity party! Here we go! Don't worry about a thing, Mom.
Everything's under control.
Thanks, Candace.
It's been too long since your father and I had a date night.
Thirteen days, twenty-two hours, and seventeen minutes.
How do you know that? I've got an app on my phone.
Don't worry about us.
Bye.
Parents are weird.
Yes.
Yes, they are.
It takes a while to get warmed up, but we're almost there.
Oop! See, I told you it took up a lot of juice.
What happened? I think we blew a fuse.
Don't get all technical on me, just fix it.
Relax, Candace.
Ferb and I will check the fuse box.
In the meantime, you go find a flashlight.
Okay.
Find a flashlight.
Find a flashlight.
Hey, Ferb.
Isn't it cool how you can still see people's eyes in– Ferb? Where'd you go? Oh-ho! You prankster.
I know we have a flashlight in here somewhere.
Oh, okay, that's a stapler.
Ow! Scissors.
And What is this, an old banana? Eww.
What happened to all the flashlights? Ah-ha! Darn! The batteries are dying.
I better conserve them.
Phineas? Ferb? Oh, who leaves a chair right next to a table? Looks like the whole town's in a blackout.
What'cha doin'? Isabella? Your voice sounds horrible.
Fooled ya! It's me, Buford! And my voice isn't horrible, it's raspy! You gotta spend hours screamin' in the closet to get it like this.
Hours! Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin'? There's the original.
I'm glad you're here, Isabella.
Ferb and I are working on something that will give us all the best blackout ever! Can I help? Sure you can, Baljeet.
Hey, Baljeet.
Hey, Buford.
Your voice is so raspy.
It sounds as if sandpaper and a washboard had a baby.
See, closet time's paying off.
Okay, guys.
Let's get to work.
Hey, hold it right there.
Who else is back here? Roll call! Well, there's Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet and me.
Oh, and there's that kid in the corner with the eyepatch.
But is it my left eye, or my right eye? You don't know.
Hi, Mom! Yeah, we're okay.
In fact, I was just about to call you.
I can't see what Phineas and Ferb are making but I'm sure it's bustable.
Well, it'll have to wait.
Traffic lights are out all over the city.
Of course you know I'd like nothing better than to give up my special time with your father, to run home and not see what they may, or may not have done.
I can't remember, were you always this sarcastic? Shh.
They're using a wench, Mom.
They're making something huge, and– Candace found the wood chipper, guys.
My phone! Oh, we got disconnected.
Now, who's going to grate on my nerves all night? Oh, so you have always been this sarcastic.
Oh, that's right.
It's going to be you.
You betcha, Duckie.
One way or another, I'm gonna see what all you eyeballs are making back here.
Sure.
I want everyone to see, including Perry.
Hey, where's Perry? Hey, where's Perry? Doofenshmirtz isn't illuminated! A blackout? Oh, Perry the Platypus, isn't this wonderful? Now people can't see anything but my pitiful eyes.
Look at them, Perry the Platypus, don't you feel sorry for me? Don't my sad, lugubrious eyes illicit compassion and mercy? Your secret agent training has taught you to squint well, my nemesis.
But you can't fight the power of these pathetic, pleading eyes.
I guess you can, 'cause you're heartless, Perry the Platypus.
You know that? Where your heart should be, a big empty sack of nothing.
But the common man will not be able to.
I'm gonna go find someone on the street and test these babies out.
And you're coming with me.
Here, come on.
It's a good thing I put wheels on this trap.
Try to keep up.
Somebody hand me that wrench.
The power transformer is online.
It is a good thing that you had this bicycle-powered generator.
We like to be prepared for any eventuality.
Thanks for pedaling by the way.
Buford was supposed to take over half an hour ago.
But I cannot find him anywhere! And you're not gonna.
Buford, is that you? No.
Come on, you stupid thing! Work! There.
Now where is it? What the– Ugh, stupid thing.
Ugh! What are you guys building? An anti-gravity device? Nah, that's just the crane.
Tighten the servomotor.
Aye-aye.
Well, I'm gonna feel my way through this.
Okay, this feels like, metal.
And this is some kind of wooden railing.
Ooh, mushy-squishy.
We're not using any mushy-squishy stuff.
But that's Perry's favorite spot.
Ew.
Okay, gross.
Can you just tell me what you're building? I'd love to.
But it's kinda hard to put into words.
You really just have to experience it.
Fine! Fire it up.
Great! Put on this helmet.
And this mouthguard.
And this lead apron.
Arms up and you're ready to go.
Arms up and you're ready to go.
Okay, okay, this isn't so BAAAAAAD! Okay, okay, this isn't so BAAAAAAD! (Song: What Is This Thing?) What is this thing that keeps dragging me around? Is it mechanical, I recognize the sound And I'd give anything to be back on the ground What is this thing? What is this thing, yeah What is this thing? Is it just a state of mind? If this is Venice, then I've gone Venetian blind I think my sanity is starting to unwind What is this thing? What is this thing, yeah What is this thing? What is this thing, yeah Is it a car wash or a pair of ankle weights? Is it a ninja or commemorative plates? There's a phrase that comes to mind I'm not sure that it translates ¿Qué es esto? What is this thing, yeah What is this thing? What is this thing, yeah Wow, Candace.
We never thought of riding it before.
I think I swallowed the mouthguard.
Okay, Perry the Platypus, I see someone.
You'll understand the power of my sad eyes when you see them in action.
You ready? Watch this.
Excuse me? Oh, you look so sad.
I feel– I feel so sorry for you.
What can I do? Here, take this.
There.
And as soon as I find my home, I'll come back and bring you more free stuff.
You poor, poor thing.
You see? And I don't even know what it is.
Sir, your eyes, they compel me to help.
Let me contribute.
Here.
Thank you, kind sir.
Why is it so warm? Your eyes bring out my mercy.
Don't they just? Here, take all I have.
You– Y-You gave me a wig? No.
Here, take this.
Ooh, take that.
Please take this.
Here, have my wallet.
My toaster.
My watermelon.
Oh, let's all go get him some more stuff.
Jetpack squad away! Wow, if it worked on that jetpack squad, I bet it'll work on my brother, Roger! Maybe he'll take pity on me, and make me Mayor! And that's just a hop, skip and a jump from having people give me the whole Tri-State Area! Thank goodness your wrist communicator is still working, Agent P.
We traced the blackout to the Danville power plant on 5th street.
I know you're busy with Doofenshmirtz and you don't normally handle stuff like this, but I was in the middle of microwaving a burrito and the center is still totally frozen.
Just figured you were close, and uh Hurry, Agent P, it's– It's kind of scary in here, and I'm all alone.
C-Carl? Carl, is that you? How can I bust you if I don't know what you've made? Dad's unmistakable, two honk horn signal.
They're home! Mom, Dad! You're home! Hi, sweetie.
The restaurant was closed because of the blackout.
What's all that noise? Phineas and Ferb made a dangerous thing in the backyard, in the dark.
Phineas and Ferb made a dangerous thing in the backyard, in the dark.
Oh, this stupid fence! Why do we have this stupid fence here? Dad, tear down this fence! What do you think, should we tear down this fence? Oh, that's the sarcasm I like.
See– Wait, you can feel what they made.
Come on! Candace, my arm! You know, Perry the Platypus, I– I didn't realize this trap would be so heavy.
City Hall is still like a few blocks away, you don't mind if I just leave you here, do you? Hello? Where's Perry the Platypus? Where's Perry the Platypus? That's all it was? That big red switch over there? You think I would've known that.
I mean I got a Ph.
D.
You work that into every conversation.
Okay, can you feel it Mom? Can you feel it? I feel something pointy.
I feel something pointy.
You're right, Ferb.
We're cooler, even in the dark.
Hi, boys.
Wait! Where is that incredibly huge and dangerous thing that you all built? A bunch of guys on jetpacks came by and asked if they could have it.
So we gave it to them.
Oh, you boys are so cute.
But what was it? What was it?! So why is it that you think I'm going to just hand over my mayorship to you? Oh, because I've got these big sad eyes.
Yeah.
And they're kind of freaking me out.
Yeah, I guess it probably works better in the dark.
Oh, look, it's the jetpack squad.
Here, sad-eyed man, we brought you this! Oh, I think I swallowed my mouthguard.