Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Santa Barbarian Candidate

Quality of life is up because crime in Santa Barbara is at an all-time low due to the tireless efforts of your Santa Barbara Police Department.
Correction: Seriously underfunded police department, you eco-socialist moonbat.
Gavin Channing is an awesome mayor.
And people like trees, Carlton.
I am honored to recognize Chief Karen Vick, her dedicated officers, and the extraordinary Shawn Spencer for their invaluable service to the community.
Please, stop.
It's all too much.
Thank you, mayor.
What is genius? Can you bottle it? Is it something you would even want to bottle? Chief, I'm so sorry.
I'm such a jerk sometimes.
Look at this, everyone.
Isn't that nice? Oh- It is moments like this that make my second sight and illustrious gift set so worthwhile.
I believe it was EMF who first said, "You're unbelievable.
" If only I had known then they were talking about me.
That's why we need your help Would you both excuse me for a moment? You have a gift, my friend.
Oh, Gavin, we must find time to speak about my proposal.
Shawn, we legally can't remove the traffic lights and speed limit signs.
- Not all of them.
- Only the ones between your house and the Psych office.
That is correct, and there will be a speed limit.
We will call it the super speed corridor.
The autobahn of Santa Barbara.
It is both inexpensive and simple.
That doesn't sound inexpensive or simple.
Plus it goes through three schools.
Why do you hate progress? Guys, my wife Renee.
- Hello.
- Oh.
- Are these people important? - Renee.
- Buh-bye.
- Oh.
So brief.
Mr.
Mayor, the Sacramento contingent is here.
Ah, wonderful.
Have you guys met? Jason Straub, go-to staffer.
You gave him credit for getting you reelected after that water district flap last year.
Wow, you really know your local politics.
Well, you're right.
He's a real star-in-the-making.
Damn handy when fires need putting out.
Thank you, Mr.
Mayor, but we really need to think about making our exit.
In a minute, J.
Listen, Shawn, you always brighten my day whenever you come down here, and I wanted to offer up a little token.
You're going to approve my chunnel to Catalina.
I was thinking more along the lines of brunch at my place.
After my surf tomorrow? Maybe around 10:00? We'd love to see Juliet.
We've really missed her since she worked for us - at City Hall.
- I'm sure.
The thing with Juliet is- I don't want to hear anything but you're engaged.
I'll check her availability, mayor.
I'm sure she misses you.
Great.
I'm available for brunch.
You're available to suck it.
Man, I gotta go find Jules.
- Yeah.
- Shawn, no.
Maybe you didn't hear me.
I said there would be blintzes.
Shawn, I'm not going to brunch at the mayor's house with you.
We're broken up.
I thought we took a small step forward.
Well, I thought we did too.
And then I see you up there, just gloating in front of everyone.
And it's a solid reminder of all the issues I have with you.
It's just a charade.
Oh, come on, Jules.
I was- I was just playing around.
You know what, we're gonna break his little mayor heart.
He's a grown man.
I think he'll land on his feet.
Surf conditions are finally picking up to three-to-four feet after nothing but one-to-two-footers in the early morning hours.
Why were we listening to the surf report? 'Cause I want to bone up on the lingo, impress Channing.
Boning up is not a thing, Shawn.
Yeah, maybe not in Jamaica.
Dude, stop crushing on the mayor.
I'm not crushing on him.
I like him.
I like his house, his car, his hair.
I mean, the man has his own private beach with access to the best waves in Santa Barbara, Gus.
Plus, he smells like Christmas.
And, if he and I become surfing buddies, so be it.
Whoa! Whoa, hold up, hold up.
What- what happened here? Looks like you might need to get a new surfing buddy.
Really? In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity I'm not inclined to resign to maturity if it's all right then you're all wrong but why bounce around to the same damn song? you'd rather run when you can't crawl I know you know that I'm not telling the truth I know you know they just don't have any proof embrace the deception learn how to bend your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end It's ironic, if you ask me.
He fought so hard to save the ocean, and then gets killed by it.
Carlton, please.
People are in a state of shock over this.
He was surfing in a spot called "The Vortex.
" Pretty rough.
I should know.
That section has almost taken me out a couple times.
- You surf? - No.
But I do a fair amount of nude sunbathing.
Occasionally, I have to go in, do a little rinse-off.
The Vortex has rocks just beneath the surface.
Yes.
Notice the jagged pattern here.
Brutal.
I'm estimating he was in the water about four hours before he was found.
Okay, then case closed.
Killed by too much nature.
Come on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Four hours? Nothing but one-to-two-footers in the early morning hours.
That would have put him in the water - at what, like, 6:00 A.
M.
? - Mm-hmm.
There were no waves at 6:00 A.
M.
Gus, pull up the surf report.
He's right.
There were no waves.
Why would the mayor go surfing when there was no surf? That doesn't strike anyone as the slightest bit suspicious? Well, look.
Everyone liked him, Shawn- - Hmm.
- But do you really think that's enough for us to go on? - Sure.
- Absolutely.
Tell you what.
Let's drag King Neptune into interrogation room "B" and put the screws to him.
All right, here's the plan.
We're gonna talk to Channing's right-hand man, Straub, see if he has any idea who might have had it out for his old boss.
Hey.
You with me? You know, I can't believe we're in Santa Barbara's corridors of power.
- Not this thing- - You know, Shawn, I could've made it in all the way to the White House.
- Yeah.
Maybe as an aide.
- Of course.
- Say, "Yes, Mr.
President.
" - Yes, Mr.
President.
- Sorry, Charlie.
- Man, you don't know.
I'm just saying, I could've been - the black James Carville.
- Who's that? The farmer from Babe? That's James Cromwell, Shawn.
That'll do, Gus.
That'll do.
Will you put that down? Let's just wait for Straub to get here and- Pretty gorgeous, huh? Ah, hey, man.
Yeah.
I almost snagged myself one of these in the claw crane game at Dave & Buster's, but I think we all know that thing is rigged.
Those are Mexican turquoise.
Mayor Channing used to bring it back from his remote surf spots in Mexico and give them to people as gifts.
He was generous that way.
Had a lot of friends.
How about enemies? No, not really.
I mean, that's what made him such an effective politician.
Everybody loved him.
We were just in the process of raising $50,000 to get us to Sacramento.
That's excessive.
Sacramento's only 200 miles away.
He wanted to be governor? What, by overspending on travel? No, we needed the 50 grand for an exploratory committee.
Why did he need to raise the money? Wasn't Channing loaded? No, his wife is the wealthy one, and she doesn't like to part with her money.
- Oh.
- Speaking of parting, I gotta get this place packed up for the new staff.
- Wow, that quickly? - Yeah.
Santa Barbara law states that the head of city council takes over in the event of the mayor's death.
That means the new staff will be in by the end of the week, and I get to help during the transition.
Speak of the devil.
My apologies, gentlemen.
- Was I interrupting something? - Nah.
Tom, this is Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster.
Guys, this is the city's new mayor, Tom Swagerty.
Gentlemen, a pleasure.
Listen, Jason, I know this is tough on all of us, and I think it's admirable that you're here helping the way you are.
Naturally, I don't think it's appropriate to discuss business at this time, so I just came by here to give you these- a few key objectives I'd like to get rolling on in the next couple of days and an agenda for tomorrow night's council meeting.
The first is a proposal for a new city motto.
Ooh.
Might I suggest "Santa Barbara "Stop for a pee, but stay for a lifetime"? Or how about this? "Santa Barbara: This is where Rob Lowe humps it out.
" Hmm.
You can suggest that.
Good day.
There's a vote to convert the wetlands - into an outdoor mall? - Yeah.
I mean, Channing's been nixing the idea for years, but the developer, Pacific Acquisitions, uses their influence to keep it alive.
Hmm.
At Edgemont landing, experience premier comfort and design Ooh.
Gus, if we are ever an inch tall, we're living there.
You know that's right.
- Hello, ma'am.
- Hello.
My name is Shawn Spencer.
This is my partner, Bill Uvrights.
What was that? The right to bear arms.
You just shot her in the face.
I wasn't aiming at her, Shawn.
I was shadow-hunting.
We're here to see the boss.
Which boss? There are a lot of those around here.
The big cheese.
The poob grandier.
I don't see your names on the schedule.
What is this regarding? Well, we are here to present a new version of the wetland project.
- Please observe.
- Wahhh - There's a cupcake.
- Yes.
That represents a called complimentary cupcakes.
That means all the cupcakes are free.
What's that apple core supposed to be? Ooh, well, that is just an apple core.
That's not supposed to be there, Bill.
Boom.
Now it's a rec center.
How do you like them apples? Are you done? Ma'am, we will not be ignored.
She's calling the boss.
- I'm calling security.
- What? I told you this was a stupid idea.
Pick up, pick up.
I'll be right back.
Shawn, we need to get out of here.
- Would you hold on? - For what? - Eh.
- Hurry up! Dude.
Let's go.
You're saying that Tom Swagerty killed the mayor? Shh.
No, not me, chief.
The spirits are saying it.
Well, if the spirits have any proof, we'd certainly like to hear it.
Chief, Swagerty is a majority owner in a real estate development that mayor Channing vowed to oppose.
Swagerty kills Channing, tomorrow's city council vote goes in his favor, he makes millions.
Okay, well, as compelling as your theory is, Mr.
Spencer, I'm gonna need a little bit more than circumstantial evidence before I tell the people of Santa Barbara that their mayor was murdered.
This makes total sense.
Think about it.
It's the same motive as the biblical tale of the very first murder- brother kills brother over multi-use retail and residential space.
What version of the Bible are you reading? - The new Rick James version.
- Okay.
Chief, unless Spencer has any other theories, can I go ahead and tell Woody to officially rule Channing's death an accident? Yes.
Thank you.
Sorry, Mr.
Spencer.
This just sucks.
In four days, Swagerty's gonna be - both mayor and a murderer.
- Yup.
You know the worst part of this? Once Swagerty becomes mayor, he'll have control over the police department.
I guarantee you he'll make sure they don't look into Channing's murder.
How could he get away with that? It's all in the bylaws.
Dude, you stole the bylaws from Channing's office? There's nothing in the bylaws that says it's illegal to steal bylaws, Shawn.
Really? Is there anything in the bylaws that says Seriously, man.
We got to figure out a way to keep Swagerty out of office long enough to build a solid case against him.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
I can't believe I never thought of this.
Gus, I've got news.
Guys have been manscaping for years.
What? Listen, Shawn.
Look.
Right here.
It says the head of the city council will automatically succeed the mayor unless challenged by another candidate, in which case a special election must be held.
Boom.
So we just need another candidate.
Yup.
And so it is with that same sense of pride and a renewed hope for unbound glory that I, Shawn Spencer, do hereby declare my candidacy for the office of mayor.
Gus, I'm not even sure this thing is on.
We heard you loud and clear.
Now, Shawn, it's very important that your first TV interview is a success.
Don't worry, it will be, as long as they film me from one of my 27 good sides.
I drew up a list of topics for you to familiarize yourself with- unemployment rates, crime statistics, - labor issues.
- Hmm.
Thanks, Wendy.
- She used to be a candy striper.
- Really? No, but that would have been a fun thing.
- What? - This is nice.
Thanks, man.
No.
No, no, no.
Barack and Michelle got slammed in the press after doing that in public.
We'll stick to culturally neutral salutations until we see some polling.
Dude, I think you can afford to rove it down a notch.
We're not trying to win, remember? We're just trying to keep a killer from taking over the city.
I know, Shawn, but you still don't want to look ridiculous.
They may ask you the tough questions.
- Food carts? - You plan to have a food cart on every corner by the end of your mandate.
- Yes, I do.
- Now, listen, Shawn.
You have to remember the rule.
You never, never answer the question they asked you.
- Only answer the question - I wish they had asked me.
My man.
What would make you effective as an elected official? In two words, approachability.
My door will always be open.
And I want the citizens of Santa Barbara to feel comfortable marching through that door and telling me about the issues that matter to them, and the issues that matter to their pets.
Mr.
Spencer, as you know, the city has been recently dipping into its cash reserves to close an estimated $26 million general fund deficit.
If elected, how do you propose to close this gap? Well, that is an outstanding question, Josephina.
Am I saying that correctly? - No.
- The answer is simple.
My least favorite is the black jelly bean, and I'm not just saying that because it's black.
Believe me, some of my best friends are black jelly beans.
But, if I wanted to be eating licorice, why would I reach for a jelly bean? You feel me? I suspect you do.
And here's a free golden nugget.
I also vow to protect our fine city from invaders to the north and the west, and I will only use the fundamentals of traditional Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
Boom.
Follow-through.
Boom.
Rain dance.
That's from Along Came Polly.
- Stay with us.
- Idiot.
You looked like a complete lunatic, Shawn.
After that, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in Santa Barbara that's gonna vote for you.
Perfect.
That means I've got the black vote.
Psych office and campaign headquarters.
Shawn.
Just saw your interview.
Kudos.
Finally, someone who speaks to the issues I care about.
Listen, I have news on the Channing case.
Usually when I inspect lacerations of surfers who eat it at the Vortex, I find, you know, little bits of coral and rock in the wounds.
Channing's is clean.
It's not right.
Damn it, I knew it.
And I found gray hairs in his wetsuit.
Preliminary tests reveal they're not his.
That you're here helping the way you are.
Woody, you complete me.
The gray hairs.
It's Swagerty's, isn't it? I'll give you a hint: Yes.
You do understand how hints work, right? Straub.
What are you doing here, man? I saw your interview, and I'd like to assist you in your campaign.
And why would you want to do that? Because, like you, I don't want Swagerty to be mayor.
- I don't trust him.
- Neither do we.
That's what I just said.
Here's the thing, Straub.
Shawn already has a campaign manager: Me.
And I've already got all the bases covered.
Really? So you've covered all potential scandals? - 100%.
- What about this? A mustache is very mayoral.
Plus Franco Nero.
Look, first we need to work on your image.
The public sees you as a glib, flaky, overindulgent adolescent who spends way too much time with his best friend.
I'm not glib.
What's glib? - You.
- Shawn, with my help, we actually have an outside shot of winning this thing.
It's not gonna be easy, especially in light - of the Abby Sheldon incident.
- Who's that? Swagerty's late fiancee.
She tragically fell at home about two months ago and died.
It makes him very sympathetic in the public's mind.
- He's so lucky.
- Shawn.
Let me get you the exposure you need, and you can beat him on your own terms.
I like the sound of this very much.
Straub, consider yourself my new campaign manager.
- Co-campaign manager.
- Whatever.
Excellent.
We'll start by having you go to the founders' gala tomorrow.
- He said "gala.
" - I heard him, Shawn.
All the big players in town will be there, plus the media.
Now, the voters like a candidate who's in a stable relationship, so you're gonna need to bring a date.
That's going to be a little difficult.
Well, maybe not.
I've arrived.
I'm here for you.
You really do look beautiful, by the way.
Thank you, but remember, I'm here for the same reasons you are.
What? You're running for mayor? To investigate Swagerty based on the new evidence.
That's it.
Got it? Got it.
I couldn't agree more.
- Good.
- Just standard investigating.
Scoping out clues and leads, and possibly kissing.
How are you? Good to see you.
A lot of stuff to do in a little amount of time, so stay focused.
As soon as you get the chance, that's our host, Andrew Hobbs.
He has a yacht and loves deep-sea fishing.
Got it.
Hobbs, fat, likes to murder fish.
And that is Leecy Davis.
Very deep pockets.
She also has a weakness for young men playing volleyball- - shirtless.
- All right.
I'll be ready with all my best C.
Tommy Howell quotes from Side Out.
Watch out for the stuffed mushroom appetizers.
It's a scam job.
It looks like there's sausage inside, but it's really all vegetables.
- That is outrageous.
- Damn it.
Swagerty's soaking up the press with shots with his daughter.
You have to get in there, steal that spotlight.
You don't have to say that twice.
Remember to grab the hair.
Not yours.
Swagerty's.
Right.
We gotta connect him to the murder.
My daughter Nicole.
Straight-"A" student.
Honey, there's Uncle Judd over there.
Why don't you go say hello to him for me? Huh? Congratulations on your candidacy, Shawn.
Congrats on the spinach in your teeth.
You are going down.
"Going down"? Seriously? Are we talking about the election? Negative.
Where were you the night before Channing's body was found? Not that it's any of your business, but I was at my daughter's violin recital.
- What about the morning of? - She had soccer practice.
What are you getting at? Uh, why do you hate art and homeless animals? Are you telling me you think Channing was killed? I don't know.
Was he? I'm not gonna dignify that with a response.
I liked Channing.
I had nothing to do with his death.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey! "Summer just got a little bit hotter.
" Did you guys get that? Side out.
C.
Tommy Howell.
Ladies and gentlemen, before we continue with the festivities, I'd like to take this time to acknowledge our late, great mayor, Mr.
Gavin Channing, who was taken from us far, far too soon.
He was a principled politician and a great friend, and we will truly miss him.
To Gavin Channing.
Hear, hear.
You want to dance? - No.
- Good.
Thank God.
Neither do I.
But it seems like it's a necessary part of this investigation.
I got to stay in this race.
Right now, Swags is stealing all my thunder.
Well, too bad for you you don't dance.
Yeah, too bad.
When we went to take the dance class, you said you had shin splints.
Not entirely true.
I went to the Montecito Scottish Ventriloquist Festival with Gus.
I felt so guilty about lying to you that I went back and took that dance class all by myself.
You did? They say it's all about your connection with your partner.
If you have the right partner, there's nothing you can't do.
Where was this Shawn Spencer when we were dating? He's right here.
Jules.
Jules.
Come on.
You cannot pretend that you don't still have feelings for me.
It does not make for very good theater.
Well, I won't pretend, Shawn, because I do.
But I also can't pretend that I can trust you.
Can't you see that? Jules, sweetheart, you can trust me, okay? Look, I lied.
I lied about being a psychic, and that probably accounts for thousands of lies that I have told you since we've worked together, and, the worst part is, nobody believed in me more than you.
You always had my back when nobody else would.
I feel so horrible about that.
I need you to understand you are on the hook until you make it so that I don't have to lie for you anymore.
It's very simple.
You have to tell the chief.
No, Jules, that's not gonna happen.
That's not gonna happen, because, if I do that, then all of this goes away, all of it.
And with it goes the good.
All the lives that I have saved, the lives that I've improved.
This is-this is what I have, Jules.
This is how I do good.
Not for everyone.
Hey, Swags, no hard feelings, okay? Ow! What the hell? Okay.
Thanks, Woodman.
Guess what? Swagerty's alibi checked out.
And here's the worst news- he took the wetlands vote off the agenda.
I'm not so sure he's our guy anymore.
Yeah, he's definitely not our guy.
Woody just confirmed that the gray hair they found on Channing's body did not belong to Swagerty.
There goes our theory.
What now? First, I drop out of the race immediately.
The best man gets to be mayor.
We find ourselves another suspect.
No harm, no foul.
It's like modern war.
You did it, Shawn.
You killed it at the gala.
The buzz is you're crushing Swagerty.
So I took a straw poll up and down state street - of potential votes.
- And? You're gonna be mayor.
Are you saying that Spencer might actually win this thing? Oh, my God.
The Mayans were right.
That's it.
I'm gonna have to move.
There's no other solution.
Will you guys calm down? Shawn is not going to be mayor.
It's just for the investigation.
These things have a way of snowballing, Guster.
One day, he's mayor, the next, his face is on our currency.
I can't believe I'm going to have to assassinate a public figure.
You know, when he was ten years old, he ran for office on the promise he'd build a thunderdome in the schoolyard? I can't imagine what that idiot's got planned now.
That is an excellent question, Tina.
It's essentially a giant cage-like structure, an arena where conflict can be solved in a public forum.
My administration will be all about transparency, hot dog wieners of unusual lengths, - and gladiatorial justice.
- Spencer! Get your ass in here! That guy will not be here when I am running this department.
I'm going to ask you this calmly.
Are you insane? Oh, come on, you guys.
It's not like I'm actually going to be mayor.
For more than two terms.
I'm just gonna make a few sweeping changes here at the department, and then I'm out of here.
Oh, Lassie, relax.
I'm gonna withdraw.
Swagerty's clean.
And the best man for the job.
Your disloyalty disheartens me- is what I would say if I was still running.
But I'm not.
As much as it pains me to say, Shawn, you can't withdraw.
Not now.
You're in the public eye, kid.
If you bail, it's gonna raise questions and subject you to a little more scrutiny than I think you want.
Right, well, in that case, we should probably ease up on the reins a bit.
You know, come up with a way to subtly throw this thing.
I can fix that.
Great.
Gus, you are rehired as my solo campaign manager.
You'll have to figure out a way to make me seem less desirable, which won't be easy.
I can fix that.
Here's the question.
If Swagerty didn't kill Channing, then who did? I mean, who else had motive? Those are Mexican turquoise.
He used to bring them from his remote surf spots in Mexico and give 'em to people as gifts.
What is genius? Can you bottle it? Is it something you would even want to bottle? He was a principled politician and a great friend.
To Gavin Channing.
His wife! I am sensing that Channing was a player! That he cheated on his wife willy-nilly, and the Spencers do not use the term "willy-nilly" Willy-nilly.
- No, we don't.
- Wait a minute.
Woody found a gray hair on Channing's body.
She's not gray.
Are these people important? Only her stylist knows that for sure.
Ah! Ah! Whoa.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
Hello, Renee.
Shawn.
I didn't know you rode.
It's just about all we do in my hometown of snowy river.
It helps me find clarity.
As a matter of fact, I'm getting some right now.
Are you? Fascinating.
What I'm getting is that your husband had a little problem with monogamy! - Wait, Lightning! - Well, now, you just unearthed the worst-kept secret in Santa Barbara.
Yes, Gavin was incorrigible.
Seabiscuit, stop, stop.
It was one of his best qualities, really.
We'd been living apart for some time.
I guess you could say our marriage was a Sham? Hyah! A career move.
White Chocolate.
I don't know the horse's name.
And that didn't bother you at all? - No.
- Mrs.
Channing, I'm ready for you.
In a moment, Antonio.
Hyah! Let's just say that Gavin and I had an understanding.
Let's cut to the chase here, Renee.
A gray hair was found on your husband's body.
The same gray hair you used to have before you colored it.
I know you were there the night he died.
Yes, I was with him.
But I didn't kill him.
We slept together.
That is disgusting.
And rich.
Why would you do that? Well, I wanted to get something for my 50 grand.
We needed the 50 grand for an exploratory committee.
'Cause, even though he was a terrible husband, he was a great lover, and would have been a fabulous governor.
I really wanted to make love in that mansion with Antonio.
Well, I'm bored.
Come on.
All I'm saying is that showing me passed out surrounded by beer cans is not exactly my idea of a nuanced photo.
Well, if you hated that, you're not gonna like this commercial.
It's about to start airing.
What? Dude, we have a commercial? Yup.
I sliced one together last night and got the local station to air it in exchange for you giving free psychic readings - for the next year.
- Smart thinking.
Yeah.
I'm Shawn Spencer, and this is my vision for Santa Barbara.
Ooh.
Ooh.
- Wow.
- Sorry, man.
- I had to go big.
- The bird thing was messed up.
- Right.
- But some of those - weren't far from the truth.
- I know.
Straub.
How come I wasn't consulted on that commercial? 'Cause Gus is running the show solo now.
Sorry I didn't tell you, but I just haven't been satisfied with the way my campaign's being managed.
- Competently? - Exactly.
By the way, did you know that Channing did get the 50k for the exploratory committee from his wife the night that he died? That's impossible.
He would have told me.
Not if he never had the opportunity.
- What? - Got to bounce.
Gus, I have it.
Channing was robbed.
His wife gave him the 50k, someone broke into the house, stole the money, and killed him using that missing bookend.
The one the killer took with them after they clobbered Channing over the head.
So it must have been an inside job.
Someone with access to this house.
Perhaps we should start with those.
- Hey, Lassie.
- So I have eliminated the housekeeper and the gardener, which pretty much leaves the plumber.
Guy named Mike Plummer.
He's a plumber and his name is Plummer? I don't say things to be humorous.
Ooh, speaking of humorous, you, my friend, are getting killed at the polls.
Are you aware that your campaign just aired an ad detailing your foot fetish? It was quite disturbing.
Foot fetish? Come on, son.
Looks like Mike the plumber came into some cash.
- Hello? - Hello.
Mike Plummer the plumber? Uh, Shawn.
Yo.
What you got? Where have I seen that dude before? Sniff around the body or something.
I'm gonna go snoop on his computer.
Why do I got to hang around a dead body? Because you love it.
Dude, I just found a bank statement that shows a recent deposit of $50,000.
How recent? Like four days ago recent? Yup.
The day after Channing got that money from his ex-wife.
Your theory about him robbing Channing was on point.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
Tom, this is Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster.
Guys, this is the city's new mayor, Tom Swagerty.
That's Abby Sheldon, Swagerty's ex-fiancee.
What is she doing at Channing's house? Asked and answered.
That Channing was a randy little spaniel.
Uh-oh.
Let me see that.
Bam, there was another deposit made two months earlier, four days after Abby's death.
- I got it.
- Good.
Let's get out of here.
I mean, why should I get fined for not picking up my dog's poop? Huh? Why? Good evening.
Good evening, everyone.
Excuse me.
So sorry.
My name is Shawn Spencer.
I am actually here because I have had a psychic revelation that will shake the foundation of Santa Barbara to its very foundation.
Here's the thing.
Abby Sheldon did not die accidentally in her home, as was widely reported.
She, in fact, expired in the home of her lover, the man that we all knew as former mayor Gavin Channing.
I mean, does my dog get a bill every time I do my business? Huh? Yeah.
The points you're making are valid.
But I'm gonna be up here for a really long time, so you'd be wise to take a seat.
Thank you.
Gavin Channing, for all his flaws, was not a murderer.
Now I am sensing that Abby Sheldon's death was, in fact, accidental.
Abby! What does any politician do when they're in a jam? They call their right-hand man, and, in this case, that right-hand man was Jason Straub who, for the record, is a lefty.
Sure enough, that is the first call that Channing made the night Abby died, according to the phone records obtained by SBPD's very own Carlton Lassiter.
I am sensing that you moved Abby's body from Channing's house back to her house, still made it look like an accident.
But there were a couple things that you didn't count on.
First being Channing's contractor, Mike Plummer.
Being the opportunist that he was, he jumped at the opportunity to document this potential scandal.
You can find these photographs at his apartment.
And you know this how? Because my senses don't lie, they multiply.
Anyway, Mike Plummer used these photographs to blackmail Channing to the tune of $50,000.
Channing thought it was a one-time payout.
Then a couple months later, Plummer shows up again and he asks for more.
Channing was ready to come clean, but Straub, the man who orchestrated the entire cover-up, didn't want to go to jail, did you? Come on, nobody's believing this lunatic, right? Jason, sit down.
You pleaded with Channing not to do it, and when he refused, finally you killed him.
That's enough! The other thing- You stuffed him into his wetsuit and you dumped him into the ocean.
The other thing you didn't count on was that the man who succeeded Channing as mayor is the same guy who was not convinced that the accidental death of his fiancee was an accident Just came by here to give you these.
A few key objectives I'd like to get working on in the next couple weeks.
Because among the list of key objectives he gave you was a motion to reopen the police investigation into the death of his fiancee.
You needed to make sure that Swagerty wasn't elected mayor, and that is why you tried to help me beat him, but when that didn't work, you killed the only person, Plummer, that could testify against you in a future trial.
Come on, Straub.
Give it up.
Don't-don't do it.
Don't-oh.
Have some respect for yourself.
That's it.
I now cede the floor to the crazy poop woman.
God bless Santa Barbara.
It's not too late.
We could turn around, get Red Robin, go back to the Psych office.
American Duos premieres tonight.
- I owe you one, man.
- You owe me infinity, Shawn.
It's very simple.
You have to tell the chief.
You noticed the door was closed, right? Something on your mind? Yeah, actually, it's my mind that I want to talk to you about, chief? You-you know those blackmail photos from the Channing case, right? You remember those? It was three days ago.
Oh, right, well, the funny thing is, and truth is it's not funny at all, I may not have come across those in the manner that you've grown accustomed to.
I'm not following.
What I'm saying, chief, is that it is entirely possible that I have been less than forthright about the way that I do the things that I do.
Like this.
This, for example.
Mainly that really.
What I'm saying is that I'm sorry, - but that I'm not actually- - He's covering for me.
- What? - Shawn led me to the blackmail photos, and I obtained them - without an official warrant.
- I'm sorry? We wouldn't have gotten the evidence if we'd waited.
So you searched the victim's computer without a warrant? Yes, I did.
But it was just the one time, I swear.
You understand that, if a judge knew about this, Straub would walk? Fortunately for all of us, we got a confession from him.
Whew.
Well, then I guess- I guess we're good here.
Orange whip? Orange whip? No, Mr.
Spencer, we are not good at all.
You are a police officer, Ms.
O'Hara.
- And, Mr.
Spencer, you are a - Psychic.
I was going to say an independent contractor, and both of you serve the people of this city.
And everything is to remain aboveboard.
Do I make myself clear? - Yes, chief.
- Yeah.
Absolutely.
Good.
You're dismissed.
Good-bye, Mr.
Spencer.
Later, chief.
Jules, let's not make this any more complicated than it needs to be.
I know exactly why you did what you did with the chief this morning.
Really? Do tell.
Well, it's obvious, don't you think? I mean, without me, Santa Barbara turns into Detroit within a week.
- That's not it.
- It's not? Shawn, when I first asked you to tell the chief the truth and you declined, I just thought you were being selfish.
But then you were actually going to tell her.
It hit me- if I let you go through with this and throw everything away, well I'd be the one being selfish, wouldn't I? I couldn't let you.
Gus is so thankful.
I know.
So should we just do it? Easy.
I'm not ready to get back together.
I mean, there's still an issue of trust here.
I can't just flip a switch.
- That's fair.
- Mm.
- Shawn.
- Yes? It's not going to happen.
All right, well, you just tell me when you're ready, because I'm going to be waiting.
In my stocking feet, wearing a chef's hat and an apron.
And that's it.
Hmm.
Now who's ready for some Souplantation? Soup? Soup I can do.
What about bisque? I'm hoping there's a bisque.
With a little bit of luck, they'll have the veggie chili.
Oh, I love the veggie chili.
- It's very chunky.
- It is chunky, but I love my chili chunky.