Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Cog Blocked

Sir, I do not mean to be rude, but these are the 23 seconds of peace that I get during my day.
Once those doors open, I'm on the go till my head hits the pillow, and I need this time to check in with myself and get my head right.
People are counting on me.
And so I ask you, respectfully, not to intrude on my meditative state.
I was just gonna tell you you got - some schmutz on your pants.
- What? Yeah, looks like you-- you sat in bird guano.
Man! Damn it, Guster, ten minutes early is five minutes late.
Come with me, now! Yes, sir, Mr.
Gus, the phone's ringing.
Gus, the phone is ringing.
Where is that guy? Hello? Hello, can you hear me? You've reached the offices of Psych.
Oh! Oh, well.
That's on you, phone.
I need you to personally go over the last few months of daily call reports, correlate those with the weekly and monthly territory analyses.
Plus, I want you to rewrite evaluations for all the high prescribers in the region-- schedules, nuances, peccadilloes of the support staff, et cetera, so we're all working with the same information for once.
Yes, sir, Mr.
Can do.
Look, I know you've been with us 14 years and have something like I'd ask someone else to do this crap, but I saw you first.
Thank you, sir.
Get it to me by the end of the day.
But don't kill yourself.
- Hey! - Aah! I'm sorry.
Did I wake you? No.
I was not asleep.
I was in a deep meditative state.
Look, I just have a question about your motorcycle insurance so I can pay this bill.
That's ridiculous, I paid my insurance the day I bought my motorcycle, eight years ago.
Yeah, and this bill's been coming to my place ever since.
Oh, pop, this is one of those scams that the elderly often fall for.
Shawn, in order to have a license, you have to keep up your insurance payments.
That's the law.
What, are you joking? What kind of police state is this? This is exactly the kind of stuff that's gonna throw me right off the grid, man! Off the grid? You're barely on the grid! I pay for your insurance, Juliet pays for your rent, and Guster pays for everything else.
Those are bald-faced lies, and you are a bald-headed liar! Shawn, there is a thing called a monthly nut.
That's what your friends are out there working for while you're enjoying hammock time.
What are you trying to say, that I'm a leech? No, I didn't say that.
I may think it.
I may nod when others say it, but I definitely didn't say it.
Well, good, because you want to know why? Things have just been a little tight lately.
Trout didn't hire us, and the phone hasn't exactly been-- Gus enjoys paying for things.
That's why I let him.
'Cause it makes him feel good.
And Jules never asks me for money ever, so What, you just want me to take stock of myself? I just want to pay this bill.
Well, you don't have to.
I will take care of it myself.
You know why? Because I am a grown-ass man.
I don't know.
Are you? Sorry, Spencer, I cannot help you.
Oh, come on, Lassie, I helped save your wedding.
Just give me one for old time's sake.
No, no, you listen to me.
Trout going 5150 was the stroke of luck I needed to get me out of those horrible blues and back onto Homicide, and I'm not going to jeopardize that by hiring your slacker ass.
No offense.
Please give me some money! Can't you just leech it off of Juliet? She's used to it.
She's in Florida, visiting her aunt or someone she's related to.
Besides, I am not a leech.
Right, look, I gotta go.
I got a case.
- Great, I'll meet you there.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
You will not, all right? Besides, it's a suicide.
There's nothing for you to solve.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm sensing that it's not.
You need me, man.
You need me ba-- Hello? Was that a fake hang-up? You doing a bit? Damn it.
Aw, Sh-- Dude, this is a huge case, finally.
I got it off the police scanner.
Would you please stop pretending to work? I'm not pretending, Shawn.
The target list from the last few cycles - got all screwed up-- - Nobody cares about the words that you're saying! Lassie needs us! I'm working for the weekend, Shawn.
What? Gus.
Man, I'll give you 30 minutes.
You rode your motorcycle here? No.
Damn it.
Which of my big-boy words did you not understand when I said, "Do not come here"? I didn't understand any of them.
You're wrong about this.
The murder vibe is strong, and I am sensing billable hours.
All right, jackass.
You wanna see what a textbook suicide looks like? Feast your eyes.
This looks like my place.
- Huh.
- Same color palette.
Same fixtures.
I have that sofa, that rug too.
Dude, that's the hutch that I ordered.
Okay, Gus.
Meet the late John Russell.
Age 35.
According to his business card, he worked a dead-end job as a sales rep at some place called California Coast Insurance.
By all appearances, he lived alone.
Oh, my goodness.
No sign of forced entry.
No sign of a struggle.
No sign of a significant other in his life.
Empty pill bottle near his hand.
The brother didn't even have a cat.
Well, I will admit that as far as murders go, this feels subtle.
- Gus? - What? - You all right up there? - Yes, you are.
Who gives a bowling trophy for sixth place? I got sixth place once.
It's a hard thing to do.
Two, three, four, five other guys suddenly get hot with the ball, and there you are-- sixth place.
Does that make me a bad bowler? Does it? John Russell.
This guy was as average as they come, a faceless cog who finally realized that life wasn't gonna get any better, so what's the point? I think we're safe to call this one a suicide.
No! No! This was a good man who lived a rich, proper, and full life.
A man who had it all.
Come here.
Do the thing you do and say it's murder.
Gus, nobody wants this to be a murder more than I do, but check it out.
Tell them it's murder, Shawn.
- Tell them it's murder.
- Aah! This man was a responsible citizen of the world, and he did not go out like this.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I've been murdered.
And by that, obviously I mean, I've been murdered.
- You said "I've" again.
- I know.
Are you sure about that? I know you know that I'm not telling the truth I know you know they just don't have any proof embrace the deception learn how to bend your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end I know you know Find me a clue, Shawn.
Find me a clue now.
Dude, there are no clues.
- And I can't just make stuff up.
- That's all you ever do.
I wouldn't say that's all I ever do.
I mean, have a gift of sorts--ow! - You owe me, Shawn.
- Okay, okay, fine, fine.
Hey, everybody, listen up.
I have a thing.
Everybody, listen to Shawn.
Uh, this man is not the faceless cog that he so clearly appeared to be, regardless of your vantage point.
- Nope.
- To the untrained eye, what may have looked like the final desperate act of a forgettable drone-- you know, him snuffing out the light of his dismal, loveless, earth-toned failure of a life-- - Get to the point.
- It was, in fact, wait for it murder.
- And we're done here.
- Yep.
Thanks, guys.
Dude, renaissance fest next Saturday.
The renaissance fest for next Saturday.
Whoa, ho, ho, ho, wait a second.
I am sensing that John Russell made plans to attend an event in the future, next weekend, that he knew he would not live to see.
Now, that's a little weird, don't we think? In conclusion, I'm gonna go ahead and say that it's possible, though not probable, that maybe, just maybe, this was, in fact, murder.
Though probably not.
My golly, that was so compelling.
You know what? You swayed me.
Here you go, Hardy boys, go investigate.
- Ooh, yes.
- But you're not getting a dime.
Let's catch us a killer.
Come on, man, what are you doing? I'm getting my head right before we investigate, Shawn.
If there's murderer in here, I'm gonna find him.
Oh, yeah? How do you know it's a he? - It's semantics, Shawn.
- It's not semantics.
- Who's gonna pay us for this? - The universe.
Man, that is not a thing.
Yes, it is.
Why are we at your office? This is not my office.
I work at Central Coast Pharmaceuticals.
This is California Coast Insurance.
Milli was not Vanilli.
What? I know what goes on in offices.
Everyone is a suspect.
It's like Russ's death had no effect on these people.
- Who's Russ? - I meant Russell.
John Russell.
- Having fun.
- Excuse me? Is that your yogurt? I'm eating it, aren't I? Really? Are you eating a dead man's yogurt? Relax.
I didn't think he needed it anymore.
Besides, it expires in three days.
Three days? Three days? Would you do if that was Jesus's yogurt? - Gus.
- What? - No.
- Where were you - last night at 10:00 P.
? - Home.
Was that before or after - you murdered John Russell? - What? - What is this commotion? - I'm sorry, we're actually-- We're with the SBPD, and we'd like to ask you a circumstances surrounding the death of John Russell.
That's--that's right.
Of course.
John was our top sales rep.
He was reliably efficient.
He'd been with us for 15 years.
He had 113 unused vacation days.
Hey, that's how many Gus has.
I have 111.
He was a nice fella.
A little dull.
- Oh, no.
- Is there a problem? No, Mr.
Well, when I found out it was a suicide, I can't say I was surprised.
He didn't seem to have much of a life outside of work.
Mm, that's not actually true.
In fact, he had a very full and exciting life.
He didn't even have a girlfriend.
He was between relationships.
But he was very sought-after, very sexy.
- Gus.
- What? - No.
- A very sexy man.
If you say so.
Do you think that foul play might've been involved? - No.
- Yes.
Things are definitely pointing in that direction.
That's unbelievable.
He seemed so you know, anonymous.
All right, uh, Mr.
Grouse, do you remember anything out of the ordinary about John before he died? Well, he had been late for a few days.
That was unusual, but I let it slide.
He was my top guy.
And he only made 48k a year.
- $48,000? - That's right.
- Tax-free? - No.
You're gonna have to fill that position, right? I mean, you have to replace him.
- We'll promote from within.
- Ooh.
You think that's the best idea? Because I can come in here and I can be refreshing and I can see things with fresh eyes for you.
- Scape it up.
- Uh-huh.
Will there be anything else? Ooh.
May I keep this? - No, it was a gift.
- Mm.
How about this? No.
If there's nothing else-- Spite your face.
That guy needs to turn the page to the 20th century, Gus.
What? It's a dead end, man.
Ugh! - Come here.
- But-- Come here, man.
Find me a clue.
Find me a clue right now.
- Oh, my God.
- What? I'm so bored.
Wrong answer, Shawn.
Try again.
Shawn! What's happening? Well, well, well.
Look who it is.
Here for something else? A desk chair? A ficus? That's a palm, and if you must know, I'm taking John's computer.
Oh, my gosh.
Look, I'm the number-two guy, and I had dibs.
My computer is, like, ten years old.
Hells naw.
I don't know, dude, he's a little, uh-- Gus! People of Central Coast Pharmaceuticals-- California Coast Insurance.
People of California Coast Insurance, a man has died, a man you've worked side-by-side with for 15 years, yet to walk amongst you, you'd never know it.
Where are the flowers, the tears? Where are the hushed tones and the keening wails of the bereaved? Oh, for shame.
What is a man's life worth? Just something to be stripped for parts once he's gone? Russ was one of you.
Who's Russ? Don't.
Just let it-- Well, Mr.
Yoplait-er, maybe if you'd bothered to get to know the man, you would have grown close enough to enjoy the intimacy of a nickname.
A man has died, and you must at least let his hard drive cool before you may claim his computer as your own.
What's this about a computer, Quan? I called dibs on John's computer.
It's not like he needs it.
- Would you cool down! - Get off me.
Easy there, Denzel.
Little more Mighty Quinn, a little less Training Day.
Leave John's stuff alone, all right, Quan? Let's have some respect.
And you two, I talked to the SBPD.
They say you don't work for them.
Oh, they're this close to hiring us.
It's just a matter of paperwork, really.
I think it's time for you both to leave.
- Yes, Mr.
- The name's Grouse.
Yes, sir.
I've always wanted to work in insurance.
Ruminate on that.
What is going on with you, man? You're taking this very personally.
Check it out.
I stole it off of the janitor's cart.
We are sneaking back in tonight.
Wait, but you don't steal key cards.
That's not your thing.
I've never been murdered before.
It's liberating.
I don't know, man.
I do not like this.
It feels wrong.
You do this kind of stuff all the time.
Yeah, but now you're doing it.
It's totally throwing me off.
I'm going to start saying stuff like "Hurry up" and "Be careful.
" - I'm in.
- Get outta here.
What? You know that's right.
Let's see.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That email came in after he died.
It's addressed to Dr.
Alan Champion - from Angela Bennett.
- So? Dude, that's Sandy Bullock and Dennis Miller's names from the movie The Net.
- You remember The Net? - Of course.
Dude, I swear, I remember every movie I've ever seen.
I couldn't tell you one thing that happens in The Net.
Not one.
I know I saw it.
I think I saw it twice.
Dude, we saw that together.
Dude, check this out.
It says they're supposed to meet tonight in the Buena Vista lounge.
"Come alone.
" - Gus, this is good.
- Mm-hmm.
Let's call Lassie and get paid.
Uh, no.
"Come alone," Shawn, means we go alone.
No, it's a common mistake.
It means we get paid.
Let's go.
- Do you have a reservation? - Yes, Dr.
Alan Champion.
Alan Champion.
There's no reservation under that name.
Oh, um, how about Angela Bennett? - Your name is Angela? - I meant Jack Devlin.
- Hmm.
- That's Jeremy Northam's name - from The Net.
- Northam was in The Net? - Mm-hmm.
- Nothing.
Sorry, no.
- Jason Bourne? - No.
- Jack Bauer? - Mm-mmm.
Tony Stark? Billy Elliot? Ferris Bueller? Edward Scissorhands? Han Solo? Hans Landa? Han nah Montana? Mr.
Popper? Mr.
Bean? Mr.
Ripley, Mr.
Deeds, Mr.
Pink, Mr.
White, Mr.
Brown, Mr.
Blonde, Mr.
T, Dr.
T, Dr.
Jekyll, Dr.
Phibes, Dr.
Evil, Dr.
Horrible, Dr.
Doolittle? Frodo, Gandalf, Bilbo, Neo, Morpheus, Trinity, Simba, Zazu, Ross, Chandler, Joey, Jerry, George, Elaine, Kramer, Kirk, Spock, Picard, Data? John Russell? - Right this way, Mr.
- There it is, there it is.
Beginning, middle, and an end.
Thank you.
- You're not John.
- What? No, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
We just got smoked by a blind ninja.
And her hair smelled like magnolia blossoms.
Uh, yes, I am interested in walking your small dog.
The one with the beard.
How much is that gonna pay me? Wait, you want to walk my dog? I don't have a dog.
Are you or are you not looking to hire a dog walker? You are a dog walker? Well, that doesn't make any sense.
Well, this flyer is very confusing.
I'm a contributing member of society, and I need work.
I--hello? So going off Shawn's hunch that this is a murder - and not a suicide-- - It was my hunch.
I still think he killed himself.
I put on my forensic pathologist's hat and imagined what Dr.
Jordan Cavanaugh would do if this were an episode of Crossing Jordan.
Then, I imagined how actress Jill Hennessey would approach playing Dr.
Jordan Cavanaugh if this were an episode of Crossing Jordan.
Woody, that's deep.
What did you turn up? Nothing, dead end.
Here's what I know: This suicide scene was as staged as an episode of Crossing Jordan.
I knew it.
The residue from the pill bottle found in John Russell's hand tested positive for Seconal, but he has a heart condition.
Seconal is not recommended for people with heart conditions.
- That proves it.
- Proves what, Gus? The man killed himself.
I don't think he was looking for a heart-healthy way to do it.
It's something, Shawn.
It's all something.
The mysterious, beautiful, blind woman; Quan; the pills.
John Russell was an upstanding citizen.
He did not go out like that.
Well, he was not too upstanding if he was hanging out at this place.
Putin on the Ritz.
It's a Russian nightclub, and it's shady.
Dangerous people doing dangerous things to dangerous people.
Oh, yeah, I just go there for the buffet.
Taste of St.
Petersburg in your own backyard.
- Mm.
- Except it's not in my backyard and people have died there, but what can I say? I'm a foodie.
Look, Gus, sometimes, people do actually kill themselves, it happens.
Nope, not this time, Shawn.
I wouldn't do that to myself.
It's not you, it's him.
Look, if you want to leave, fine, I'll do it myself.
No, no, I'm with you, all right? I am.
I just need to know one thing first.
What? Do you think I'm a leech? Yes, I do.
What'll you have, my friends? - Hi, we're-- - My name is Burton Guster and this is my partner, Laika, the Space Dog.
We were wondering, have you seen this man around here recently? How long has child been missing? Many people come in and out of P.
- Buffet very popular.
- Sure.
Is there an actual Vladimir, and if so, may we speak with him? Vlad very busy.
He's meeting with his 10:00 now.
No! No! No! No! No! He has very long day ahead.
- We'll wait.
- No, we won't.
We'll see you again, real soon.
Book it.
No, until I hear something concrete on the John Russell case, it is closed.
I know this guy Vlad is somehow involved with the death of John Russell.
Well, now, that would be a pretty neat trick, considering Vlad spent the last 72 hours in county lock-up and was only released this morning.
- This morning? - That's right.
And if John Russell was involved with a Russian gangster, we would have found this thing called evidence.
We went over that sad, little apartment - with a fine-toothed comb.
- Really? I'll bet you didn't try toilet, freezer, leisure: The holy trinity of hiding places.
Let's go, Shawn.
Still not hiring you.
See? See? I told you something was going on, Shawn.
Look what they did to my apartment.
Okay, this is not your apartment.
- You do know that, right? - Oh, isn't it, Shawn? - Isn't it? - Wow, all right, man.
Let's just do a quick round of pooper, flooper, looper, and then go get you the help that you so desperately need.
- It's toilet, freezer, leisure.
- What'd I say? You said, "pooper, flooper, looper.
" I don't think so.
All right, my bad.
I got it--I got it wrong.
I got your thing wrong.
I know how you think.
Toilet! Freezer.
Boom! I knew this was more than 12 pounds.
I just picked up the seven/ten split.
Gus, holy crap, man, you did it.
What? It's a death certificate.
Who's "Pony Wayne White"? Maybe "Em" can tell us.
No, looks like nobody's here.
Should we knock, or-- Okay.
That's how I knock.
All right, scale of one to ten, - how much did that hurt? - Zero.
Hey! Ah, ah, ah.
Come on, son.
Tell me this, Shawn.
Why are there so many pictures of John Russell? I don't know.
Why is there a picture of us, Gus? What? Oh.
You know what? Maybe this was a suicide after all.
Let's go.
- Who the hell are you? - Who the hell are you? - I asked you first.
- I'm a private investigator.
Well, I'm a private investigator too.
You just said that because I said it.
- Don't tell me what I said.
- I just did.
How 'bout you lower those guns? Why are you pretending to be blind? I'm not pretending.
I have astigmatism.
You gonna have to do a lot better than that, honey bunny.
I'm not gonna have to do anything, pumpkin.
I'm the one with the guns.
How 'bout you lower those guns? What's your relationship to John Russell? - What's yours? - Were you two - romantically involved? - Were you? - Are you involved with anyone? - Why? Because you are incredibly attractive.
- Don't tell me what I am.
- I just did.
John hired me.
He said he was gonna bring me evidence of something big, but he never showed up.
- Something big, huh? - Don't do it, Gus.
- Something like this? - Damn it.
I guess that makes you "Em.
" Emmanuelle.
Gimme that-- - Nah.
- Hoo hoo.
It's not going down like that.
Guns first.
Oh, so shorty got ice water in his veins now, huh? Like a chilled Martini.
Cool, yet unmistakably-- - Gus.
- What? - It's too much.
- What? Look, why don't you guys just compare rates on expedia and get a room already.
Man! I have astigmatism too.
Shut up.
Okay, my butt is vibrating.
That means I'm gonna check my phone.
Easy, easy.
Talk to me, Woody.
Woody found evidence that John Russell was force-fed those pills.
Gus, you were absolutely right, man.
This is not a suicide.
John Russell's dead? Welcome to the nah.
Why was John giving you a death certificate for Pony Wayne White? I think it had something to do with insurance fraud.
That's why he hired me.
He wouldn't tell me much more, said he wanted to do some legwork on his own.
I would follow him and take pictures in case something happened.
You must be a real brave girl.
Don't tell me what I am.
So is this your car? No, this is a company car.
Gus is a pharmaceutical rep.
It's my day job.
Being an investigator's my real passion.
What's your day job? His day job is me working my day job.
Yeah, but I'm thinking about taking work as a "Manny.
" I'm gonna apply for this gig.
Okay, this is for someone looking to get hired as a nanny, not hire one.
What? I call shotgun next time we're in the car.
I don't sit back there.
The doors don't work.
- Well, you can't do that.
- She just did.
Pony Wayne White? Yeah, I know that name.
I just did an autopsy on him last week, but this says he's been dead for two months.
That can't be right, can it? I mean, I think I'd notice if a body had been dead for two months.
The smell alone, yeah.
- Who are you? - Who are you? I'm Detective Carlton Lassiter.
- Yeah, well, so what? - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This says "Cause of death: Cardiac arrest.
" Yeah, sure, if cardiac arrest puts grapefruit-sized holes in your chest.
See, here's the death certificate I signed last week.
"Cause of death: Gunshots to the chesty area.
" I remember this guy.
He was killed trying to rob a shooting range, which just proves that Darwin was right.
And there's my signature.
I think that's a forge.
Uh, why would I forge my own signature, Shawn? No, no, Woody, not that one.
This one here.
I think someone took your signature and then drew over it.
You see, Emmanuelle, I'm a psychic.
- Good for you.
- My God.
I feel so violated, Emmanuelle.
And yet, in a weird way, flattered.
So someone-- Forged an official death certificate for Pony Wayne White two months before he died? - Unless there's-- - Unless there are two Pony Wayne Whites, this could be the insurance fraud John was investigating.
- Look, we should-- - We should check out - the White House.
- Yes.
Wh-- uh, uh, what? Yeah, I'll be right there! All right, guys, I gotta go.
Someone has to lead.
I have a standing "shotgun" in this vehicle, and everyone knows it! Gus, is that an old French fry? I am in a metal cage of despair! This is it.
Pony Wayne White's.
Hey, guys, you're gonna have to open my door from the outs-- Mrs.
White? Maybe.
My name is Emmanuelle, and this is my partner, Denzel Diggs Underwood Morris Chestnut Washington.
I can hear you.
That is my bit.
We'd like to ask you about your husband's death.
Oh, he just opened up a club for ladies.
You know, where fellas shake it for money and whatnot.
Well, are they hiring? Because I could use the work.
And I'll shake my junk any old place.
Sorry for asking, but how did he afford something like that? He took a loan, wouldn't say from who.
Couldn't go to no bank, not with his record.
'Course, the interest is real high.
Well, did Pony have life insurance? Yeah, but when I tried to collect, they says Pony died of a heart attack two months ago.
Did you ever meet a guy named John Russell? Yeah, he was gonna look into it for me.
Then some other guy calls, says it's his case now.
That's the last I heard from anybody.
I think I know who that guy is.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Messed up, you guys leaving me in here like that.
I am not a child! What do you think Quan's doing here by himself? And where's everyone else? Well, well, well.
Looks like you and I are gonna have a nice conversation.
Quan didn't do it, but he might have a lead.
John discovered some sketchy payouts from the company, but he wouldn't tell me any more.
That must be why you wanted his computer.
I figured this was my chance since we get a half day for John's funeral.
See, man, Quan's a good dude.
He's trying to help out.
Still doesn't explain the yogurt.
I still can't access these accounts.
They're password protected, which is weird.
Man, watch out.
Watch out.
Just calm down, all right? That's what I keep getting.
Do you have any idea what the code may be? There's, like, 17,000 possible combinations.
Try "a-d-b," or "b-d-a," or "b-a-d.
" - I'm in.
- I got it right, didn't I? No, I found a back door into the system.
Just like in The Net.
- Hey.
- What? - All right.
- That's what I'm talking about.
Print it all.
Hurry up.
Nice to see you're feeling better, Mr.
Well, I'll tell you this, Jules, if we actually get paid for this, you're getting a taste, okay? No, I insist.
Now, tell me all about Florida.
Start at the beginning.
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey! Shotgun, shotgun! Hey, I called it in the elevator.
No, you cannot call shotgun before you even see the car.
- We don't have time for this.
- I don't care.
It's not fair, and I'm mad as hell! Fine, we can call it on three.
One, two-- Shotgun! Shotgun! Shawn, get Lassie on the phone.
And make sure she's safe.
I'll keep him occupied.
Hey, Gus, be careful.
Don't tell me what to be.
Let's dance.
Aah! All right.
Trying to mess with me? Come on, son.
What do you think this is? You think this is my first rodeo? What? Oh, gosh.
Oh! All right, all right, all right.
It's me and you, baby.
Come on, it's me and you.
Here we go.
What? I just got you serviced.
Oh, man.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, gosh! Uh Drop it! Oh, Lassie.
Don't shoot him! He's just a kid! I did it.
I did it.
Dude, I did it.
I did it.
- Yeah, you did-- - Oh, Gus.
Well, we all see where this is going.
No, it was a gift.
Why is there a picture of us, Gus? This guy's just the trigger man.
I know who killed John Russell! And I know who he was working for! Let's go get him.
Lassie, we're gonna need a ride.
Shotgun! Damn it! What can you say about John? Number-one sales rep.
Reliably efficient.
He will be missed.
Would anyone else like to speak? I would.
John Russell was a cog, a faceless, nameless, "reliably efficient" cog.
But here's the thing.
This world was built off of the sweat, toil, and dedication of cogs.
If we do our job right, you won't even know that we're there.
And that's the way we like it.
You see, cogs thrive on order, but something was out of order at Central Coast Pharmaceuticals.
California Coast Insurance.
Come on, son.
California Coast Insurance.
Something making it hard out there for a cog.
You see, somebody was giving loans to bad people in exchange for a cut of the action.
A cop would call that person a loan shark.
But John Russell used to call him his boss.
What? Mr.
Grouse paid out death benefits to people who were still alive.
He took a loan, wouldn't say from who.
Couldn't go to no bank, not with his record.
Elaborate stuff too.
Death certificates, the whole bit.
Here's the death certificate I signed last week.
"Cause of death: Gunshots to the chesty area.
" Did you know that some of the worst establishments in Santa Barbara are owned by dead people? That's ridiculous! He's lying.
Ooh! Pony Wayne White opened up Pony's: The mane event-- spelled "m-a-n-e" -- after he suffered a fatal heart attack with a loan that he received from Mr.
Now, that's one entrepreneurial zombie.
These people know me, okay? They trust me.
Everything was just fine, but then Pony had to go and die for real.
And when John Russell discovered that something funny was going on John discovered some sketchy payouts from the company, but he wouldn't tell me any more.
Grouse decided it was time that John finally took his vacation-- a permanent one.
This is outrageous.
You--you can't prove this.
Man, I already have.
All right, Grouse, let's go.
Ah! Sumbitch.
So who do I talk to about getting your job? What? John Russell thought that doing the right thing was more important than doing the safe thing.
He may have lived his life as a cog, but he died a hero.
- That man is sexy.
- Mm.
He gets it from me.
I don't think so.
You know, this buffet isn't that bad.
Hey, well, consider this on me, now that you're gainfully unemployed.
No, no, no, I got it.
I'm debt free, and I have an emergency fund earning 1.
I'm good, at least for the next four to six months.
Well, here's to the next four to six months.
I must break you with a couple of very refreshing vodka beverages.
But this is not the good stuff, you guys.
Look at you, earning your monthly nut.
What? Oh, it's only part time.
But I gotta admit, it feels good.
Bringing home the bacon, smackin' it, flippin' it, rubbin' it down.
Oh, no.
- I like the bacon.
- Hey.
- I'm proud of you.
- I'm proud of you.
Quitting your job like that, all man-style.
Man, look, I'm done with the cog thing, Shawn.
It's time for me to do the Gus thing.
I'll say this much.
I am gonna put in a good word with Vlad when you're ready to start working again.
- Mm.
- I gotta tell you guys.
What we've done here is build an amazing team.
Ground floor, grass roots.
I mean, you work closely with people, you learn things, like their names, and it's nice, and it's rich.
Shawn, you've had this job for, like, 45 minutes.
Sure, but it doesn't feel that way.
Hey, guys, check out this action.
Huh? Hey! I told you not throw bottles anymore.
Get out! You're fired.
Copy that, big bear.
That's Vlad.
Well, I gave it the old college try.
Gus, I'm going to need you to get your job back right away.
Dude, that bridge is burnt.
Security had to tase me.
Well we'll figure something out.
We always do.
I'm gonna say my good-byes.
Hey, Alexyi.
Alexyi, don't be a stranger.
Hey, hey.
I don't know you, buddy.
Stop! - We need to get out of here.
- Do svidaniya.