Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Shawn and Gus Truck Things Up

Food trucks? What? This is how you cater a murder scene.
It's like the who's who of food trucks.
India Are We, Meat & Mrs.
Jones, it's hard out here for a shrimp.
What? No.
Not the Macho Taco.
Is that Mauricio in there, Gus? Is that Mauricio in there? Do not go all Sean Penn in Mystic River on me.
Is that the last of his secret taco sauce in there? Is that the last of his secret taco-- Ow, ow, time-out.
That hurts.
Would you two please pull it together? Oh, we've got one dead body.
There was a line of customers waiting for the truck to open.
Someone knocked on the service window.
A body fell out.
Must have happened earlier this morning.
I can't believe Mauricio is dead.
We had some good times with those tacos, Gus.
We had the best times with those tacos, Shawn.
Seems like just yesterday.
It was yesterday.
- The taco massage was yesterday.
- Oh.
- Please be finished.
- All right.
Okay, I've already hauled in the owners of these other roach coaches for questioning.
- Roach coaches? - Yes, and I'm being generous.
I've waged a quiet war against the food truck industry for the last year and a half.
Because the war on drugs, poverty, and terror were too low stakes for you? Mock all you want, Guster, but the fact is food trucks are unsanitary, unnecessary, and borderline anarchist.
They're like Caligula with a little less fornication.
Ma'am, your food truck was parked right next to the macho nacho truck.
Did you see anything? I'm not telling the police anything.
Excuse me? Last time I reported a crime to you guys, you fined me for smelling like hot dog water.
You fined me for operating my truck in a residential zone.
Well, did you move it? Yes, I moved it to a commercial zone, but you fined me for that.
You said if there was a fine for stinky food, you'd make me pay.
Well, is your food stinky? - Yes.
- So there you go.
Nobody's talking.
Something is rotten, and it's not their food or immigration status.
Well, Lassie, looks like you dug yourself a hole from holes -sized hole with these guys.
You need someone the owners don't know, someone who can get on the inside, ask the right questions, nourish themselves, and get to the bottom of what happened.
Let me guess, that someone is you two delinquents.
Nobody knows food truck food like us.
Nobody Plus, we've both had mad cow disease.
Now before you go and say no-- Yes.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
We need a truck.
Well, then you are in luck because I impounded some poor sap's food truck last month for not having a proper food handler's permit.
Will we need the permit? Oh, I don't even know if there is such a thing.
Ha! Well, in that case, show us our truck! It's in the police impound lot getting ready for auction.
Why are you being so agreeable? Are you selling Amway? People are always nice to you right before they try to sell you Amway.
We're not falling for it, Lassie.
I'm simply too busy right now to maintain my usual level of disdain for you two.
Until the new head detective that the mayor's shoving down my throat gets here, I'm doing the work of six people.
No way to Amway.
Not to mention I've got a very pregnant wife at home who insists that everything she's doing lately is for two.
All right, fine, if you are selling Amway, maybe I'll sign up under you.
"I'm eating for two.
"I'm hogging the bathroom for two.
I'm spending all our money for two.
" Sweetie-kins.
What a great surprise.
- Here's a kiss for two.
- Mm.
Thank you, and thank you.
I popped by to see if you wanted to go to an all-you-can-eat.
Hi, guys.
Hey, Marlowe.
Oh! You're as big as a house, woman! - Wha-- - Dude.
Pregnant women are sensitive to certain things.
Marlowe, don't worry.
Your expanded uterus and your protruding navel are appropriately sized for your eighth month of gestation.
You get your stinking paws off my wife's belly, or I will start breaking your fingers.
I am so sorry, bunny face.
You're gonna have to have lunch on your own.
I'm a little swamped around here.
- Oh.
- Mmm.
- Surely work can wait, Lassie.
- Yeah.
You all must be up to your necks in preparation.
Actually, we're not that prepared.
I've been a little busy around here.
Well, at least the nursery's done, right? Yeah.
Yeah, once we've picked the paint, buy some furniture, and choose a room.
Since when do you two know so much about this junk? Knocked Up, Baby Mama, and Juno.
If the modern romantic comedy has taught us anything, it's what to expect when you're expecting.
Except for the film What to Expect When You're Expecting.
- That movie sucked.
- But the book was money.
You didn't read the book, Shawn.
Oh, snap.
Gus got me, you guys.
Mm, maybe we should be more prepared.
Yes, you should, but remember.
The best lessons come from Rosemary's Baby.
If Baby Lassiter comes out with Beelzebub eyes, think about what's best for the world.
- That was too long.
- Yeah.
- The burn was too slow.
- Mm-hmm.
Let's go.
Aw, yeah, here comes the Mash & Grab.
Best food mash-ups on the planet.
What? Watch out, watch out.
Watch out, watch out.
Calm down.
Calm down.
Why are all these people shaking their heads? Don't worry, Shawn, I got- I know what I'm doing.
I know what I'm doing.
Oh, oh! I got it, I got it.
Back it up, back it up, all right? I can't see back there.
All right, you got enough.
Home stretch, right on the line.
Yep, yep, and stop.
Stop! Stop! Stop! Is that Mauricio's shrine right there? Is that Mauricio's shrine you ran over right there? In between the lines, there's a lot of obscurity I'm not inclined to resign to maturity if it's all right, then you're all wrong but why bounce around to the same damn song? You'd rather run when you can't crawl I know you know that I'm not telling the truth I know you know they just don't have any proof embrace the deception learn how to bend your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end Dude, all these people-- the food truck workers, the customers-- they're all regulars around here.
We need to meet as many of them as we can.
Someone has to know who'd have motive to kill Mauricio.
Oh, my gosh, Gus, I just realized something.
- What? - This is about so much more than just who killed Mauricio.
This is about our future.
- What? - This is about our destiny.
What are you talking about, Shawn? Oh, I feel a shout coming on.
Oh, no.
I cannot talk to charismatic preacher right now, Shawn.
Can I get an mm-hmm? You don't ask for an mm-hmm.
Mm-hmms are voluntary.
Come on, Gus, with a little bit of branding, social media campaign, and some strategically leaked nude photos, we can be celebrity food truck owners, now, come on.
Drop trou, take a quick selfie of your buns.
What are you talking about, Shawn? I'm not doing that.
I'll just use the one I already have.
You don't have one.
Are you serious about the food business or not? - Why do you hate art? - Will you get focused, Shawn? Just give me a little side ball.
We need to investigate, Shawn.
Like, one shot of the undercarriage.
Oh, my-- I'm gonna kill you.
Our first customer.
Hey, you--you guys open? Oh, yeah.
Welcome to Mash & Grab.
- Home of the mash-up, son.
- I don't get it.
Have you ever heard of a regular mash-up? - Yeah.
- Cowboys & Aliens? - Yeah.
- Aliens, Lincoln, and vampires? - Kanye and Jesus? - Yeah, no doubt.
Well, this is like that except with food.
Drink it all the way in.
- Take it in.
- Ice cream jerky? - That's right.
- Mm-hmm.
White meat drumsticks? - Bull's-eye.
- Deep in there, deep in there.
- Pork-tarts? - What? And pull it out.
We're gonna need that back, though.
We only printed five.
All right, well, yo, let me get that froot loop quesadilla.
Very wise choice.
Dude, you ate up all the froot loops.
You ate all the damn cheese.
We broke the first rule.
We got high on our own supply.
- What are we gonna do? - Here's what we gonna do.
You're gonna give this joker a chicken-fried skittles pb&j.
Jive turkey ain't gonna know what hit him.
Come on, son.
Uh, here you go.
Don't eat it all in one place.
- Hey, Gus.
- What? That Mexican joint sure seems to have benefitted from Mauricio's death.
You thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah, we got a suspect.
Time to go on the inside.
It's called "Brana's.
" The owner's name is Harold.
Like most of the other restaurant owners around here, he doesn't like us.
Says we take all his customers and parking spaces.
- Hmm.
- Well, do you? Yes.
Harold did know Mauricio.
They said that he gave Mauricio his first job.
And then when Mauricio started up the Macho Taco truck, Harold accused him of stealing his recipe for secret sauce.
That's all I know.
Well, do you know the secret ingredients to these delicious meatballs? Those aren't meatballs, honey.
Those are prairie balls.
What are prairie balls? - Don't worry about it, Gus.
- See you later.
If Saleha, Vito, and Lillian are all telling the truth, then maybe Harold finally had enough of Mauricio's success and decided to kill him.
I sure would if you were my shoe chef and stole my secret recipe.
It's "sous" chef, not "shoe.
" Any chance I've heard that both ways? No.
Well, there's only one way to say this.
You just ate cow testicles.
What? All right, what's this all about? Since when do you play with dolls? This is a practice baby from the parenting class that Marlowe signed us up for, thanks to you two.
Why is it our fault? Because you're the ones who got all up in her head about us not being prepared.
And baby-proofing the house and putting things together for it to sleep in.
There's nothing wrong with being prepared.
What happens if the baby comes early? Lassiters arrive on their due date, not a day before.
Besides, the whole point of parenting classes is ridiculous.
I mean, how hard can it be to take care of a baby? Give me that.
Gentlemen, how may I help you? - You Harold Zenga? - Yes.
SBPD, we'd like to ask you a few questions about the death of Mauricio Sanchez.
We know you and Mauricio had beef - Or carne.
- Over him stealing customers.
- Or customers.
- What? His death seems to be doing pretty good for your business.
Yes, Mauricio and I were bitter rivals, but I didn't kill him.
Where were you yesterday morning? Small claims court all day.
I was suing Mauricio over my patented secret recipe.
Mauricio never showed up.
He was dead.
Sample? No.
I'll check your alibi.
Do not leave town.
- We are onto you, Jack.
- Yup.
You think you can kill a culinary god like Mauricio and get away with it just because you give us some free food? Come on, son.
- Oh, dear God.
- This is delicious.
Man, you know Mauricio stole this dude's recipe.
- Mm-hmm.
- We should get a table.
Dude, this better work.
We can't afford to give away free food.
Gus, we can question so many more potential suspects this way.
Excuse me, sir, would you like to try a Thanksgiving ball? It is an entire meal of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, string beans, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and an Andes mint rolled into a ball, battered, and deep-fried.
Dude, you didn't ask him any questions.
This is true, but it's clear he likes our balls.
Hey! Hey! Get out of here with that crap.
Ooh, Hoss, perhaps you'd like to try one before you punch my friend square in the face.
I run a fitness center for overweight men.
You can't be handing out those fatty foods to my clients.
Oh, "handles.
" We thought you sold opening and carrying accessories.
Yeah, relax, moose, we didn't know handles was a gym.
Nobody's gonna throw down on my boy's face.
Peddle your heart-attack balls someplace else.
They could be prairie balls.
Okay, big country, we're gonna move on before you go boots-to-chest on my boy here.
Will you stop it? If you change your mind, we've also got deep-fried splenda balls.
Uh, 'scuse me.
May we help you? I'm with the city health department.
We're not expecting you.
Hence the term "surprise inspection.
" We know what the term "surprise inspection" means.
Yeah, but not "hence.
" That's not a word, is it? How did we do? I've never gotten a "D" before in my life.
First one I've ever given.
It's like you found this food truck in a junkyard.
I am going to give you two days to address these numerous violations, or I'll be forced to shut you down.
Dude, do we know anyone who could help us with unsanitary cooking surfaces, food obtained from unapproved sources, - snakes-- - Snakes? What? Sorry, Shawn, I just don't have the time.
Dad, this case depends on us keeping our food truck open.
Now, I've seen you make an entire Thanksgiving meal on a grill that you made with an oil barrel.
If anyone can teach us how to sanitize a kitchen - on a truck, it is you.
- Mm-hmm.
Look, I can't have you two messing up things, not today.
Please, Shawn.
You are even more cantankerous than usual.
What is this, a prostate thing? Wait a second.
Did you paint the porch? It was long overdue.
Those are fresh flowers.
What, a man can't like the smell of gardenias? No fish tchotchkes on the mantle and a plate of cookies on the coffee table.
Gus, do you see what's going on here? I thought I did, but now all I smell are fresh cookies.
All right, all right, fine.
Jig's up.
I'm showing the house to potential buyers in about an hour.
I was gonna get around to telling you, but it's been a lot to deal with, and-- and you don't care anyway.
Are you selling my room too? Well, that's usually how it goes, Shawn, whole kit and caboodle, you know, garage, mud room, Shawn's room.
This is no good, pop.
I have stuff in that room.
I don't know what the hell it is, but it's mine, it belongs to me.
You can't just hand them off to some weird family that's gonna throw frilly sheets on my twin bed.
Well, then I suggest you go out and get some boxes to put your stuff in.
Dad, this is dumb and inconvenient for me.
Why are you doing this now? Because it's time, and I don't need all this space, and, um it's time.
Time for what? All right, listen, what would you do if it was your parents selling your room in your house? The house that my mother and father were arrested in? The house where my father was hiding in the basement while my mother was out betting on horses? The house where you slept with my sister? That did not happen in the house.
You slept with my sister, Shawn.
We didn't really sleep, Gus.
Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you always bring this up when you know it upsets you? I can't change the past, and I wouldn't, because it was great.
You should be proud of her.
You need to get over it, Shawn.
We're no closer to solving Mauricio's murder.
- We need to find clues.
- What did I just tell you? I wasn't listening, Shawn.
This is where all the trucks park for the breakfast crowd in the morning.
We have a prime spot.
We're gonna hear stuff.
We'll get clues tomorrow.
Don't move, or I'll kill you.
Or sooner.
Give me the money.
Look, man, we don't have any money.
Man, stop lying.
It's the truth.
We just got started.
Check it out, though.
Mash-ups gonna catch on.
I'm talking about gum ball soup and pudding ribs and snickers burrito in a bowl.
- Come on, son.
- Who'd pay for that? All kinds of weird dudes and their weird-ass chicks.
Why don't you try something before you fill my friend here with lead? - What? - No, thanks.
Yo, we're gonna show you, man! All kinds of people are gonna buy food, and next time, we're actually gonna have money for you to rob! The nerve of that guy, robbing people and criticizing their food.
Man, you know that robber and Mauricio's death are probably connected.
I know.
- What you wanna do now? - I don't know.
We can't do anything till the morning, Shawn.
Gonna have to sleep in a truck.
- Man.
- Dumb plan.
Yeah, we all used to get robbed.
It's kinda like a rite of passage.
Used to? What made it stop? We pay protection money to the 108s.
They are the gang that controls this area.
You didn't hear from me 'cause snitches get stitches.
Some guy named Smokey comes by, and you give him the money, except Mauricio refused.
I've hauled in the owner of these other roach coaches for questioning.
Aw, man, I thought those injuries were from the murder.
They happened before he was killed.
Man, we gotta smoke out this Smokey.
Why are people named Smokey always so shady? - Smokey in Friday.
- Smokey from The PJs.
Smokey Robinson.
You need to get your boy.
What? According to buzz, this is the only known resident in the area who goes by the alias "Smokey.
" I don't care, Shawn.
All I know is I have and a white guy voice ready in case we need backup.
All right.
Krav maga.
Oh, may I help you, boys? Uh, yes, ma'am.
We're looking for a Smokey? Smokey? Oh, you must be some of Luther's friends.
He's my son.
Wait right here.
Luther! Luther, don't make me call you twice now.
Where are you? Think she's gonna catch him? - Probably not.
- Man.
Who the hell are you guys? Give me the money.
You better check your tone.
You're the one that robbed us.
Wait, the enforcer for the 108s has asthma? One of y'all is about to die.
You're in college.
You need to stop playing games.
You know you're pretending to be a 108 so that you could shake down the food trucks for money.
I wonder how the 108s would feel about you fronting on their turf.
You can't punk me into saying nothing.
- Really? - Luther! - You get in here! - He's right over here! - Over here! - Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
I don't care what you tell the 108s.
Do not tell my mom.
You gonna answer all of our questions? Yes.
False alarm! No Luther in the alley! - No Luther in the alley! - Oh, thank you, boys.
Okay, bye! You have a nice day! Luther! That's a good lady right there.
- Yeah.
- You better start talking.
Okay, okay.
It's like you said, okay? My game was to rob the food trucks and scare them and then come back later and convince them to pay protection money to the 108s.
And if one of them refused, you had to send a message.
Well, duh.
Any kid who's seen A Bug's Life knows how it works.
And that's why you had to kill Mauricio.
- Mm-hmm.
- What? No.
- We know you went to see him.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, to scare him, not to kill him.
By the time I got there, he was already coming to blows with somebody else.
Are you telling us it wasn't you that gave Mauricio that black eye and busted lip? I am a musical theater major, okay? You think I'm gonna risk these jazz hands? Dude, stop doing that.
So who was fighting with Mauricio? Some guy with a clipboard and tie.
I'm gonna give you two days to address these numerous violations, or I'll be forced to shut you down.
Aw, man, the health inspector? I thought those were ink smudges on his hands.
- They were actually bruises.
- Ink smudges? Ink smudges that look like bruises? Man, nobody asked you to weigh in, Benetton! It was the inspector that jacked up Mauricio.
We're gonna have to go see him again.
As for you, return the money you extorted - from the food trucks.
- Hell no.
Well, at least come spend some of it at our truck.
- Yeah.
- All right, I'll give it back.
I hope your mama finds you.
- Mm, mm, mm.
- There you go, mm-hmm.
Don't eat it all in one place.
- All right.
- All right.
I'm here for your follow-up inspection.
- Ahh.
- Ooh.
Guess what.
This time, we've got some questions for you, Buster.
About the fight you and Mauricio Sanchez had the day before he was found dead.
Look at that.
Looks like Mr.
I-Know-What-Food-Is-Safe- And-Which-Food-- Looks like Mr.
I-Know-What-Food-Is-Safe- And-Which-Food-Isn't has something to hide.
I've got nothing to hide.
It was pretty simple.
Sanchez was upset with the grade I gave his truck, and he accused me of sabotage.
He physically threatened me, and we had an altercation.
I got my money's worth from my kickboxing class.
That was it.
How do we know you didn't come back the next day and kill him? The city tracks my whereabouts with GPS.
- Check the records.
- Mm-hmm.
You said he accused you of sabotage.
Now, why would he do that? I only inspected Mauricio's truck because I received an anonymous tip that there were rodent droppings on the floor of the Macho Taco truck.
Man, that's nasty.
You rushed right over there, didn't you, 'cause you liked it? - Mm-mm.
- You like nasty stuff.
- Mm-mm.
- Nasty.
Let me guess, you wanna sell my motorcycle now.
Hey, Shawn, listen, I've accepted an offer.
You gotta come and get your stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, look, I'm busy, dad.
Can't this wait until after we solve the case? - No, Shawn-- - Hey.
How much for the Mr.
Potato Head? I don't know, 5 bucks, whatever you think it's worth.
Dude, we gotta go.
It's an emergency.
No, he did not.
Hey, Shawn, Shawn, get that thing out of the way! You're blocking my entire yard.
I cannot believe that you would sell my things without giving me a chance to go through them first.
Yeah, well, believe it.
When are these people moving in anyway? Dad, that's, like, three months from now.
Yeah, well, this is your chance.
I know you would've stalled forever if I let you.
Is that my Teddy Ruxpin in there? No.
Is that my Teddy Ruxpin in there? Would you stop it? Is that my Teddy Ruxpin in there? You told me that Mark Flemming stole this when we were kids.
I told his parents.
They sent him to military school for it.
And I felt bad about that.
And then, I didn't.
What else around here is mine? Nothing.
You see what you've done now? Do you? Mine.
- Hey.
- Hey! What, are you having a moment? Yeah, listen, Shawn, about all this stuff, - I just-- - Whoa, hold on, pop.
You belong to handles? That gym with the guy? Handles? Yeah, not easy looking this great when you're 50.
It takes a lot of work, and the only reason I gave up my membership is because I couldn't find a parking space, because of all those trucks like yours blocking the way.
Would you get it out of here now? I only inspected Mauricio's truck because I received an anonymous tip that there were rodent droppings on the floor of the Macho Taco truck.
Dude, it was Jake.
Jake was the anonymous tipster who called the health inspector about Mauricio's truck.
Why would Jake care? He doesn't eat that kind of food.
Because the Macho Taco truck was always blocking access for Jake's customers.
That's why he wanted to shut Mauricio down.
Which is why he immediately didn't like us when we took over Mauricio's spot.
That and the fact that we were handing out holiday balls outside of his gym.
When the sabotage didn't work, roid rage must have kicked in, and thwack.
He killed him, Gus.
We solved it.
We solved it.
You are a cold-blooded thief, Shawn.
Yo, Jake! Jake.
Yeah, business is really booming, huh? - Hey, the jig's up, moose! - Mm-hmm.
Game over, big country! Well, well Oh, wow.
You think we can bench that much? Shawn, that is cruel and disrespectful.
Sorry I'm late.
Stupid baby classes again.
Lassie, I am sensing that your practice baby has had many accidents.
It also has Brad Dourif hair, which is beyond unsettling.
Do we need to get practice social services down here? Hey, I may have dropped it a few times, but Marlowe's the one who left it in the dryer.
Hang on.
It's Dobson.
Talk to me, Dobson.
Yeah? Wait, so the money that Smokey extorted from the food trucks was linked to what? Okay, hang on a second.
All right.
Okay, so traces of bank dye on some of the bills, serials from two robberies, one on 4th and-- was it 4th and Main? - Right on the buns.
- That's terrible.
Another on Sycamore.
They are the gang that controls this area.
That's a prairie ball.
Dude, both of those banks are in places we park all of our trucks.
What better way to case a bank you wanna rob than parking a food truck in front of it for hours a day? Lassie, I am sensing that one of the trucks in our fleet is somehow responsible for the recent bank robberies and linked to the two murders.
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
Well, talk to me when you get some hard evidence.
- McNab! - Yes, chief? Scan the notes on that fake baby's butt, and email it to me stat.
Hey, guys, I just wanna tell you that I love what you've done with your food truck.
Your food's much better than the Mexican fusion food your truck used to serve before we impounded it.
I'm a big fan of the just-microwaved taste.
Our truck used to serve Mexican fusion? Yeah, it was called "Mouth of the border.
" That means it would've been direct competition to Mauricio.
We didn't know that because we never saw the signage.
Gus, it is possible we have been driving the killer's truck the whole time.
What's up, son? You Frank Patton or what? - Is that my old truck? - We'll ask the questions here.
We know it used to be called "Mouth of the border," and we know that Mauricio Sanchez was one of your chief competitors.
Yeah, me and Mauricio worked the same crowd, so what? Well, it seems like he fell on hard times once you lost the truck.
I mean, anybody who slow dances with a sign for a living is obviously desperate for cash.
Maybe you were desperate enough to rob banks near where you used to park the truck.
Yeah, and maybe Mauricio found out about it, threatened to go to the cops, - and maybe you silenced him.
- Maybe.
Maybe you guys got it all wrong.
I lost my truck because I ate too much of my own food.
Mixed up orders all the time and fought with my workers.
I failed health inspections, didn't have the right permits.
- Shame on you, man.
- I wasn't the only one.
Trucks fail all the time, right? Pizza In A Cup closed up, just like Kupcake King and In the Vegan-ing.
In the Vegan-ing is still open.
I was there when Vito's truck got repo'd.
He was in deeper than I was.
He told me two weeks, and he'd be insolvent.
Whoa, man.
The potty talk.
- You're just being gross.
- He was broke.
He must have come into some money.
It's funny you should ask that.
Harold did know Mauricio.
Dude, that's it.
Jake and Vito both had struggling businesses with similar clientele.
They tried to form a business relationship, and when that didn't work, they became partners in crime.
They became bank robbers.
Then something went wrong, and it ended in murder.
Lassie, we've got that evidence you asked for.
Meet us at the business park.
All the food trucks are gonna be there.
Yo, Frankie P.
, if we bring the truck back here to speedy lube, you gonna cut us a deal, seeing as how it used to be yours, you know, before you hit rock bottom? Fine.
What is this? What is this? What is going on? Marlowe, hey! Shouldn't you be taking it easy? Yeah, but I had a killer pregnancy craving for froot loop quesadilla.
Ever since Carlton told me how full of fat and sugar and salt they were, I had to sneak out and get one.
Uh, Lassie's on his way to meet us now.
- What? - Lassie is on his way-- Don't tell him I broke doctor's orders and came down here for food truck food.
He hates food truck food.
All right, your secret's safe with us.
But we're gonna have to hide you, okay? - Huh? - Yeah, in the truck.
Come on.
Are you sure that we can trust her with our food? Please, I can control myself.
- Ooh, I just peed a little.
- What? Whoa! Come on, now.
There are napkins in there.
Are you out of your mind? - Hey, Shawn.
- Dad.
- What are you doing here? - Look.
I know I've been kinda acting weird, and I owe you an explanation, no-- no more silly games, man-to-man.
I appreciate that, but right now, we need you to hide Lassie's pregnant wife till we can get him out of here immediately.
- Why? What? - She's in the truck.
- She's in the truck.
Shh, shh.
- What? Hey, partner.
Is that your fake baby strapped to a car seat? Damn straight.
You know what? It only took me 45 minutes to figure out how to install the thing.
I think I am starting to get the hang of this.
It's not supposed to be in the front seat or facing the front.
I'm sorry, have you spent two hours in a parenting class? Here's the plan.
We're pretty sure it's Vito.
He's on the inside.
Just need you to stall him with some questions while I get a psychic reading, and we'll wrap this baby up.
All right.
Hey, Vito.
You, uh - Count this one.
- All right.
Jake, I know you told the health inspector.
I didn't sign up for murder.
Kill anybody lately? Oh, oh, come on, man! That is gross! Why'd he do that? - Who does that? - That's disgusting.
With weird organic stuff.
What the-- You guys better get in here.
Marlowe's water just broke.
What the hell is he talking about? - I have no idea.
- Sorry, sweetie-kins! Is that my wife and unborn child in there? Is that my wife and unborn child in there? - No.
- Son of a-- - Don't worry, baby.
- This should be interesting.
I'm coming! I'm coming, honey! Uh-- I think the greasy food induced labor! No, no, not like this.
Not like this! Carlton, Carlton! We don't have time to waste.
The baby's almost here.
You better get started.
I don't know anything about delivering a baby.
You delivered Chief Vick's baby.
I was in the room, it's not like I caught the thing.
Besides, that was eight years ago.
- Okay, fine.
I will do it.
- What? But you're gonna have to trust me.
No! - Okay, go! Do it! - Hey, man.
Look at the bright side.
At least the truck is sanitary now.
Shawn, would you stop screwing around? I'm gonna need hot water and lots and lots of towels.
How about a warm soda and five menus? No, no, no, I drank all the soda.
You have a problem.
It's warm.
- How fast can this thing go? - Now is not the time to be trying to catch a criminal, Lassie.
I am not, I need to get my wife to a hospital.
My baby's not gonna be born in the back of a roach coach.
Right, right, right.
I got it, I got it.
I know what to do.
I know what to do.
I got it.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Here we go.
I got it, I got it.
- Oh, for God's sakes, Guster.
- I got it, Lassie, I got it.
I'll get-- I'll get you there, Lassie.
- Okay, hold on, hold on.
- Oh, for Pete's sake! I'll drive this thing.
Okay, okay, okay, how can I help? What? Oh, God.
This is Chief Lassiter.
I am en route to the hospital.
I'm requesting a police escort.
Repeat, I am en route to the hospital.
Hang on! What the hell are you gonna do with those? I don't know.
They're fresh.
Shawn, put 'em down.
Contractions coming! Oh! Don't worry, sweetie-face.
- Here comes the police escorts.
- All right, Marlowe.
It's all right.
Just keep breathing.
Keep breathing, Marlowe.
That's it.
Just like that.
Keep breathing.
Shawn, listen.
About what I was trying to tell you before-- Dad, dad, dad, a National Geographic special is playing out on the floor of our food truck.
I don't know if now's the time for a man-to-man.
We're almost there, bunny-face.
All right, hang in there.
- I love you so much.
- Look, Shawn.
You've always wanted to get out from under my roof.
You've been on your own forever.
You're always gonna have Guster, and now-- now you got Juliet-- Breathe.
Good, that's good.
Your mother's not coming home again, and that's something I should've accepted a long time ago.
I almost died last year, man.
Breathe! You gotta breathe, Marlowe.
I just think it's time for me to try something new in my life.
I don't know, a new relationship, a new job, new surroundings.
I don't know, but I just thought I'd start by selling the house and see where that goes from there.
Marlowe, breathe.
Look, I should've told you this before.
I was just always hoping that you'd read between the lines.
Aah! Dad, you know I'm no good at this kind of stuff.
What in the history of our relationship makes you think I would pick up on that without you telling me? I will cut one of you! Now, you hang in there, bunny-face, all right? I've almost got you there.
All right, I love you so much.
I need you to focus on our future.
Think about us in our new house.
You go to hell! Okeydoke.
Wait a minute.
Who did you sell the house to? Shawn, this really isn't the time.
Did you or did you not sell my room to Lassie? Yes, yes, yes, yes, I did.
I did, but he gave me than I would've accepted.
- $30,000? - Yes, Shawn.
I sold the house.
I'm moving on.
And it's time for you to accept that.
Are you crying? Yes.
But not because of you.
I think Marlowe's breaking all the little, tiny bones in my hand.
Ahh! Listen, pop.
I think you deserve to be happy every bit as much as mom does, okay? - Shawn.
- No, I want you to be happy.
There, I said it, I've felt that way-- Shawn, here it comes! Okay, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.
Breathe! Push! - Breathe! Push! Push! Push! Push! - Take this.
Take that.
Almost there, bunny-face.
I'm almost there, all right? Oh, why did I do that? Why did I do that? Okay, baby, we made it.
Do whatever you have to do to keep that baby in you till we get you into a hospital room.
- Carlton! - Over here.
- Carlton! - What? - Carlton.
- What? Congratulations.
- That's your baby girl.
- When did it-- That is sci-fi.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Look at how beautiful she is.
Gus, Gus, get up, man.
What--what happened? Dude, get up.
We have customers.
Welcome to Mash & Grab.
Fire up the grill.
Oh, baby.
Oh, look at how beautiful she is.
Surprisingly, Vito's truck got all the way to Arizona before they nabbed him.
Who knew that thing would top out at 120, huh? Are you having another moment over there, or It does seem kind of empty now, huh? Yeah.
It's been weirding me out too, just thinking about Lassie and Marlowe under this roof.
They're totally gonna defy all the sanctity of No! They can have it.
It's fitting that it's going to another cop raising a new family.
I just hope that kid enjoys this room as much as you did.
I don't.
I hope she enjoys it even more.
I hope they let her do all the stuff that you didn't let me do, like jump on the bed, climb out the window.
I think maybe it's time to let that go.
No, it's not.
What do you think of that, papa-rito, huh? I rule! That better not be what I think it is, Shawn.
Shawn, what are you doing up there? Do not make me come up there! Shawn! I rule.
All right.
Shawn! Gus, I've given this some thought, and I've decided that the food truck business is too ruthless for us.
It sure is.
I have this little thing that I do that always makes babies smile.
What are you doing? You're scaring her, you lumbering pituitary giant.
- Careful.
- What's wrong with you? Sorry.
It's okay.
He's gone.
He's gone.
Well, that happened.
All right, tiny baby girl.
You are gonna grow up in my old room.
So I figured you should have one of my old toys.
Take good care of him for me.
Slow down there, Spencer.
I admit getting your father's old house was fortuitous for me and the missus.
Especially since it didn't have that old-man smell yet.
But it being the house where you metamorphosized was almost a deal breaker.
I don't want your heebie-jeebies affecting our little Lilly Nora.
Aw, relax, daddy-kins.
It's a sweet gesture.
Oh, look, look, she likes it.
- It's her first smile.
- Oh.
- Thank you, Spencer.
- Don't mention it.
Gus, that's rock bottom.
You gotta give that back, dude.
I'll get it.