QI (2003) s17e16 Episode Script

1 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, and welcome to a show that's all about quads and quins, and fours and fives, which is quite appropriate, as I have four guests or, you know, five if I include myself.
On the one hand, here's Aisling Bea.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE No two ways about it, it's David Mitchell.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Three cheers for Nish Kumar.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And at sixes and sevens, Alan Davies.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And what are their buzzers for? Aisling goes One, two, three, four, five LAUGHTER David goes Five, five, five Oh I was ready to get into that.
- I think that was someone singing "Five," wasn't it? Yes.
- OK, good.
Nish goes Five bad boys with the power to rock you LAUGHTER Yes! And Alan goes GOLF CLUB WHOOSHES MAN: Fore! GLASS SMASHES LAUGHTER Question one is about quadrupeds.
Name a quadruped that can't swim.
My mum? ALAN: Is she often on all-fours round the? Oh! Oh, no, now Alan! Alan Davies! Alan Davies.
If we could come away from any thoughts about Nish's mother being on all fours, I would appreciate it.
So, quadrupeds? Now, Sandi, I feel like this relies on everybody knowing what that word means.
OK.
So, quad - Four.
- And ped? Hello.
- Feet? - Feet.
- Feet.
You had it, so quadruped - Four feet.
- Four feet.
You totally knew it and you just Your mother has four feet?! I am four feet.
Can you swim? Is that the answer? So, we're more in the animal world, people, - we're not in the Kumar household at all.
- OK.
They all float, don't they? Well, when they're dead.
- Yes.
- Yeah, they'll float to the surface eventually, when all the stomach juices start to decompose, yes.
They'll bob up then.
But is that really swimming? It's good to have you back, David "Cheerful" Mitchell.
They float cos of the air in their lungs.
It's only when their lungs fill with water they won't float.
So, unless you can't keep your breathing passages above the water.
You're right.
What might not be able to do that? - An elephant.
- Er, well - HOOTER BLARES - Hm.
- Oh.
Of all the animals, probably the most likely to be able to swim.
In-built snorkel.
Yeah.
Is it a blue whale? Just to get that out of the way.
It's not.
Sometimes it is.
It could so easily have been a blue whale, had it had any feet at all.
So, the elephant has rather brilliantly evolved, in fact, to be able to swim, because possibly that was a snorkel, the trunk.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
And that's That's someone got excited in the pool.
Yeah.
So, elephants can swi Giraffe.
Giraffe is exactly the right answer that we are looking for.
APPLAUSE As far as we know, nobody has ever seen a giraffe swim.
But there were two academics called Darren Naish and Don Henderson, and they decided, by careful computer modelling, to test out whether a giraffe can swim.
And they concluded that giraffes would float but not swim.
And actually if they did swim, they'd be particularly bad at it.
- So, look at this.
Isn't it cute? - Aah.
So, here is the problem, is that giraffes have these really heavy, bony heads.
So, if all four legs of a giraffe were to leave the bottom of the river, the giraffe's hips would float higher than the shoulders and they would float downwards.
- So, now, what's going to happen with the head - Yeah.
It's going to go under the water.
So, it's got to crick its neck back, like this.
So, a giraffe, to be able to swim, would have to be in this position.
So, the conclusion by the scientists is, giraffes would be very poor swimmers and that it might be assumed they would avoid this activity if at all possible, basically.
Could it not do backstroke? LAUGHTER I think that's worse, probably.
So, now you're having to be like this.
Oh, wow! You like the look of that, Nish? Goodness me.
Listen, if you've got a long neck, use it.
It looks like me when I was a teenager.
The other creatures that have difficulty swimming are apes.
How do they know apes have difficulty swimming? Planet Of The Apes films.
Is one way.
You never see them swimming.
That's very good.
Never see them swim in Planet Of The Apes.
Scientists were not sure if apes could swim, so they just dropped them in water.
There was a guy called William Hornaday.
He was the founder of the Bronx Zoo, and he had an orang-utan pet, which he called Old Man.
And he just dropped it in some water and he said, "I watched him sink and go stiff.
" And there was an American animal behaviourist called Robert Yerkes, who similarly submerged young chimpanzees to see what happened.
And he says, "Without exception, they struggled excitedly "and quickly sank.
".
Oh, my God, that's awful.
I know.
That's why you have moats around the enclosure with the apes, because they don't want to swim.
What about camels? Anybody? What are the humps going to do? Are they going to be buoyant? Probably? Do you think camels are the descendants of giraffes who learned to swim, because their lungs went up their back and their heads started to go like this? SHE LAUGHS HAUGHTILY They bring me on here for the big thoughts.
I really want the next series of Blue Planet to be presented by you.
Yeah.
"And maybe giraffes are just camels, hm?" Yeah.
It's very like David Attenborough was in the room.
Some camels can.
There's an Indian breed called Kharai.
It's known as "the swimming camel of Gujarat".
Hippos? What do you reckon? - Yeah, they're great at it.
- Definitely swim, yeah.
- They love to swim.
- Aren't they? - Well, they more bounce than swim.
If you imagine that this is now a hippo, they go like this along, along the bottom of the river.
- Oh, right.
- And they can stay underwater for about five minutes.
They kill a lot of people, don't they, hippos? - Yeah.
- Hippos are hungry, hungry.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE Do you know what? No! Yeah, I'm going to give you the giraffe as a prize, I think.
Babies.
Do babies have an innate ability to swim? - What do we reckon? - No.
- No? - Isn't that a thing? - What's the audience think? - AUDIENCE: Yes.
- No.
- Yes! No, they drown.
Can I just say, do not do this.
It is not true.
- A lot of people say it though, don't they? - Yeah.
- A lot of people say, "Oh, yeah, just".
- "Just chuck them in.
" - Yeah.
- They just drown.
Because we're all evolved from fishes, and when you're a baby, you still sort of think you're a fish, and so it's all fine.
I think this Nirvana album had a lot of responsibility for this idea.
It's not true.
Babies do naturally hold their breath, but do not put them in the water.
They do not have an innate ability.
Giraffes would find swimming a pain in the neck.
But are elephants any good at drawing? Yeah, there was that elephant who could paint.
- Yes.
- Is that him? - That's the one.
- Yeah, he looks - He's shy.
Yeah.
Well, actually, that is an elephant with a paintbrush stuck up its nose.
There is an art gallery in Thailand that features a permanent display of paintings by elephants.
But this is actually about another sense of drawing.
Is it pulling along? - It is pulling along.
- Oh, right.
- Exactly right.
It's pulling along a chariot.
A Roman General's triumph involved his riding in a quadriga.
So a quadriga? Anybody know what a quadriga is? Four, er, four-wheeled chariot, one elephant.
OK, so it's four creatures pulling a quadriga.
So, usually it was four horses, and they would pull them through a triumphal gate, an archway of some kind.
So, Pompey the Great's first triumph, 79 BC, he thought, "Totally going to overshadow everybody.
"I'm going to have four elephants to pull my quadriga," to reflect the fact that his victory was in Africa.
He got to the gate.
What was the problem? Too wide? Yeah, couldn't get through.
They couldn't.
He had the embarrassment of having to get down while they swapped the elephants over for horses.
They have one of those things, you know, when they say, - "No lorries over a certain height" type of thing.
- Yeah.
But the quadriga is an amazing it was kind of the Formula 1 car, if you like, of its day.
Do you remember the film Ben Hur? - Oh, four in a line like that.
- Yeah, four in a line.
And quadriga racing was such a huge deal in Roman times.
Closest thing to a chariot race these days? There is one famous race that takes place.
Actually, it's twice a year.
The wheelbarrow.
AISLING LAUGHS "All right, but we're not going past my mother's.
" It's in Siena.
It is the Palio horse race in Siena.
- It is un - They go through the town.
Unbelievably exciting.
It's around the central square of this historic city, and it's very like quadriga racing, because it is de rigueur for the riders to hinder each other, to bribe the opponents pretty much as they please.
The whips, they're made of dried distended bulls' penises.
Ooh.
And they use them not just on the horses, but on each other.
And the winner is the first horse over the line, whether or not the jockey has come with him.
See, I always think that would be an interesting take on the Grand National, cos quite often, a horse, unhampered by a human being, actually wins.
- Yes, yes.
- And you sort of think, - "In many ways, we're holding them back, aren't we?" - Yeah.
Let them run.
All of them look like jockeys except the guy in the blue - in the middle - Yeah.
.
.
who looks like he's the victim of a drunken prank.
He was on a stag do, and then he's just woken up and gone, "Shit, I'm on a horse!" - And there's no saddles.
- I know.
- They're going bareback.
- Yeah.
It's a bit like the Amish, in that they limit the technology they're allowed.
They're not allowed the whips.
They've got to be bulls' penises.
They can't be I mean They've got to dick-slap each other.
Also, who makes those whips? Do you know what I mean? - The cows.
- Yeah.
I'm just imagining some old Italian man whittling away at, like, a big knob until he gets it down, going, IN ITALIAN ACCENT: "Well, I do this for a long time, a long time.
"It's my only job.
Once a year, I'm important in the town.
"I make little dick whips.
" "It's an honest day's living.
" That was my Italian accent.
Yes, thank you.
You're like the, sort of, the rogue fifth member of the Dolmio family.
Do you think the length of the whips is dependent on the weather? - I think it depends on how many sexy cows have wandered by.
- Ah I dispute the fact that these bulls' penises would still display arousal after they've been - It's a well-known thing.
- .
.
severed and dried.
I'm pretty sure mine wouldn't, after it had been severed and dried.
- We'll never know, David.
- No.
- Or perhaps we will.
Mine's barely functioning and it's still attached.
OK, let's move on.
We're a lot tamer here.
The only people who race around a square in this country are students on foot.
You know, like that scene in Chariots of Fire, where they race around the square in the middle of the college? - You know, what's it called? - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, come on, audience.
AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Quadrangle.
Quad.
OK.
HOOTER BLARES Yeah, no.
Oh, quad.
- I can't believe you fell for that.
- Yeah.
- You fools.
- Bad luck, audience.
You guys suck.
It's a curiosity about Cambridge.
All quadrangles are called courts, apart from the Court of Downing College, which is a quad.
And the race depicted, that one in Chariots of Fire, it takes place annually around Anybody know? Which court is it? Cambridge College.
- It's - Quad.
The event they're depicting, supposedly, - takes place at Trinity College.
- That's correct, yeah.
But they filmed it at Eton.
They did film it at Eton.
And a quadrangle at Eton is not called a quad either.
It's called a yard.
And these are the people who will one day be in charge of the government.
Interesting.
So, the real life race is against the clock.
It's a 370-metre course, and they have to get round in the time it takes the clock to strike twelve.
Depending on when it was last wound, it could be 43, it could be 44 seconds.
There used to be a similar tradition that MPs and House of Commons staff would attempt to run across Westminster Bridge at noon during the time it took Big Ben to strike twelve.
So, that's 353 metres.
They have to do it in less than 46 seconds.
The very first person to do it was a Commons tea room worker called Florence Ilott, on April 14th, 1934.
She was aged 20.
- There she is.
- Oh, wow.
I love this picture, because Big Ben has still got scaffolding.
The speed required is It's only about 17mph, as opposed to modern championship sprint speed, which is about 28mph.
But she completed the feat with time to spare.
She actually made it by the tenth chime.
And I am delighted to tell you that her son and grandson - are with us in the audience.
- Oh, great.
- Wow! APPLAUSE So, Scott, it was astonishing because her 400 metre time, it wasn't far off the world record at the time, is that right? Well, apparently, yeah.
We don't really know quite where she started and where she finished, but she was pretty bloody fast, by the looks of it.
And did she just carry on working at the Houses of Commons? Or what happened to her? She was an amateur runner.
That's what she did in her spare time.
And she met her future husband - my grandad, his dad - - while running.
But it was amateur days, of course.
- Yeah.
So, they didn't make any money out of it.
They'd win prizes - canteens of cutlery and things like that.
Well, that would be fine on this show, wouldn't it, - if you went home with a canteen of cutlery? - I'd be very pleased.
This is nothing to do with anything, but you and I have worked together, have we not? Yes, I was a question setter on Fifteen To One.
You set about two thousand questions for me, you bastard.
- OK.
- Yes, sorry about that.
Greg and Scott Pack.
Now, which do you fancy, being quartered with your grandparents, or impaled with your other half? What do you reckon? - Is it a family tree question? - Sort of.
Why do you say that? Well, cos you've got four grandparents.
It's to do with heraldry, is the truth of it.
Heraldic convention.
So you can, if you're going to create your own symbol, you would do it in combination with your other half, - or with your family? - Exactly that.
But I thought it was going to be something to do with torture, like would you like to be quartered with your grandparents, like a form of old torture.
Like Game Of Thronesies - or something like that, Game of Thronesies! - "Game of Thronesies"? - Thronesies?! - "That's the one I watch.
" LAUGHTER You can't pay attention, cos you've literally got a giraffe between your legs.
LAUGHTER I just love learning, oh! It turns me on! LAUGHTER Oh, my God! Um LAUGHTER It's nice to watch something happen and go, "That's going to be a gif.
" LAUGHTER So, it's a heraldic convention, quartering, whereby arms inherited from different ancestral lines are combined into a single coat of arms.
Is this the one like in the Royal coat of arms, - it's divided into quarters? - Well, it implies that it's divided into four, but there's no theoretical limit to the number of quarters that you can display.
If you have enough what's called "armigerous forebears", it is possible to have all of the elements of your family put into one shield.
So, in the 18th century, the Marquess of Buckingham, he achieved 719 quarters - on a single shield.
- Oh, my God.
I mean, it looks like a mosaic, doesn't it? It's absolutely It looks like a magic eye picture.
So, the four thing that you're talking about, darling, when it's split into four quadrants, they are called "quarters" and the arms they contained are called "quarterings".
- But a shield can have as many quarterings as you.
- You can - quarter it and quarter it and quarter it.
- As you are entitled to.
So, impalement, which was the other one, is when a married couple's coat of arms are displayed side-by-side on a single shield.
And, by convention, the husband's side is the dexter side.
- Anybody know which side that is, dexter? - The right.
- It is the right, but it is - From the point of view of the knight? It's exactly, my darling, yes, extra point to you.
It is entirely on the point of view of the person who is actually holding it.
Does anybody know what the one on the right might be? Why might you have one that looks like that? - When you've got a couple of wives.
- Exactly right.
- Is that right?! - Yes.
Come on! LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Go, Nishy! Usually one's dead.
You haven't got two at the same time.
- Oh, right, right.
- LAUGHTER Two at the same time.
First wife goes on top.
LAUGHTER - Always.
- Always.
- Always.
NISH LAUGHS - Calls the shots.
- In the bedroom and the grave.
- Yeah.
LAUGHTER So, did Henry VIII have one with sort of six wives? - Just stripes.
- Yeah.
- Stripes all the way through.
- Yeah.
A couple of heads hanging off it.
The College of Arms have now updated it and they have same-sex married couples' shields as well, it's all a very modern world.
Did it all come from having to show what team in the army you were from? Again, that's probably terminology you're not au fait with, - but it's definitely real and right.
- OK, well, I have the very person who can answer this question for us.
We have in the audience the Clarenceux King of Arms, Patric Dickinson.
APPLAUSE Patric, thank you so very much for coming in.
Why did it start? Why do we have these? Well, Aisling is absolutely right, it's because if knights were in armour and you couldn't see who they were, the shield told you.
Right, and how many are you, the Kings of Arms? - Three in England, one in Scotland.
- Right.
- Four altogether.
Now, there are people who say this is an extraordinary waste of public funds.
Do you mind me asking how much you get paid to be the Clarenceux King of Arms? - We're not supported by public funds at all.
- Fantastic! - We get salaries from the Crown.
- Right.
Which were last increased in 1620.
LAUGHTER I am paid £20.
25 by the Queen, and that is the level to which it was reduced by William IV in the 1830s.
- You haven't had a pay rise since? - No, not since William IV.
What's, like, your daily Like, do you get up, have your coffee, check your e-mails, put on your arms? Like, what's your day like? LAUGHTER Then do I put on all that kit? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I set about designing coats of arms, tracing family trees, that sort of thing.
What's the weirdest thing you've had - as a request? - There's a urinal on a 60, but a urinal in the sense of a doctor's flask.
And footballs, footballs have appeared.
- I put one in Elton John's coat of arms.
- That's fantastic.
- Yeah.
It is a real honour to have had the Clarenceux King of Arms here.
APPLAUSE Now, since we're talking about quads and quins, here's a question on multiple births.
What's the best way to avoid paying income tax in Hungary? Five! Er, don't work in Hungary.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE - I think that's fair, yeah.
- Hm.
It is in general the most fail-safe - way of avoiding income tax, isn't it? Avoid income.
- Yeah.
LAUGHTER Look at that building, isn't it stunning? It's the parliament in Budapest.
But the quickest way at present to achieve income tax exemption - is to have quadruplets.
- What?! I know.
So, February 2019, the Prime Minister Viktor Orban announced that women who have four or more children will be permanently exempted from income tax.
Why might he decide to do this? I feel like there's probably a not particularly fun answer to this, - that it's about getting more and more Hungarians.
- It is, darling, - it's about immigration.
- They don't want immigrants coming in.
They're trying to repopulate with "real" Hungarians, - isn't that a thing? - It's essentially encouraging breeding - as an act of racism.
- Yeah, exactly.
I don't think if I moved to Hungary and managed to produce four kids - He'd be thrilled, no.
- He wouldn't be delighted.
- No, no.
So, while we're on this subject, what was the Toronto Stork Derby? ALAN: Is it a race with storks delivering babies? Yes, yes.
So, this was a multi-birth contest in Ontario in 1936.
It was described by the province's premier Mitchell Hepburn as "The most revolting and disgusting exhibition ever put on "in a civilised country.
" What happened was, there was a great guy, I think, called Charles Millar, he was a lawyer, he was a financier, and he was a practical joker.
And he had nobody to leave his money to, and so he stated in his will that whoever could have the most babies in ten years could have his money.
- Um - That's grim! - Yep.
It attracted a huge amount of interest, because some of his investments made a lot of money.
It was a HUGE fortune.
His 100,000 estate turned into a 750,000 fortune by the end of the race.
- And mothers went crazy.
- You could only have ten max, though, surely? Or, like, ten and one on the way? No, if you have multiples, if you have twins.
You could have sextuplets ten times.
You could have 60! Oh, right.
So that woman, who looks frankly exhausted NISH LAUGHS .
.
was one of the contestants.
She had 13 children.
Five women had 56 babies between them.
We don't know how many of those were multiple births.
And in the end, the pot was eventually split four ways, with two consolation prizes for women who had been disqualified.
LAUGHTER - Women who'd been disqualified? - What did they get disqualified for? Maybe they'd adopted.
LAUGHTER - ALAN: Borrowed some babies.
- "I've adopted 700.
" LAUGHTER - Some of the babies were illegitimate and so disqualified.
- Oh - What?! - Yeah.
- That's harsh.
He was a great prankster, Charles Millar.
He left brewery shares to a prohibitionist campaigning group LAUGHTER .
.
on condition that they actually ran the business.
Er, racecourse shares to anti-gambling clerics.
And he left a holiday home in Jamaica to three men who hated each other on condition they all lived in it together indefinitely.
LAUGHTER Sounds like a great sitcom, doesn't it? The Toronto Stork Derby, the most disgusting exhibition ever.
Well, until now, it's time for General Ignorance.
What's your normal temperature? Isn't it lower if you're a woman than a man? - Slightly higher for a woman.
- Slightly higher.
- Yeah, - it was one or the other, wasn't it? - Yes.
LAUGHTER - Save it.
- Just go either way with that, Aisling.
- Damn it! Because you know there's that stereotype of like, "Turn up the heating.
" "But I'm too hot, babes!" It is an issue that office temperatures - are set to male averages.
- Yeah.
- As opposed to female averages.
Do you know a fact about Christine Lagarde, who's the head of I don't know any facts about Christine Lagarde.
Oh, well you're about to bloody get one, Sandi, let's swap chairs! LAUGHTER - Can I have your glasses for a second? - Yeah, there you go.
- Do you want some cards as well? - Yeah.
Oh, no, that's got all the answers on.
Here, have that.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE AS SANDI: Of course, the interesting thing about Christine Lagarde that she used to do, was, um, that she LAUGHTER Please stop laughing, darling, I'm trying to get to the fact.
LAUGHTER She, when she'd go into business meetings, would put on a lot of layers for the meeting, and turn down the heating, so it would be freezing cold and they'd all be shivering, so they'd make a deal quicker.
- Is that true? - Yes, or sometimes she'd turn up the heating really hot and she'd come in, like, a small dress, and the men would get really sweaty, and then they'd try and hurry through the meeting.
- I love that about her! That's fantastic.
- Thank you very much.
- Just a little fact.
- That's very good.
APPLAUSE So, er, what do we reckon? Normal body temperature? Is it 97.
6? HOOTER BLARES - That's not what I said.
- Oh, no LAUGHTER APPLAUSE It has often been said 98.
6 is a sort of normal temperature I got it wrong, of course.
LAUGHTER 97.
6 is most recently dead.
LAUGHTER It turns out there's no single value for normal.
There was a study in 1868 by a German doctor with the wonderful name of Carl Reinhold August Wunderlich.
He had a thermometer that was a foot long.
- He put it under people's armpits and it took 20 - Oh, thank God! - I know.
- LAUGHTER It took 20 minutes to actually assess what the temperature was.
And it turns out his thermometer, which has been recently re-tested, had been calibrated wrong, and it ran about 3 degrees higher in Fahrenheit than a modern thermometer.
And the fact that he took it under the arm, which produces readings that are lower and less reliable than temperatures taken orally.
So, he was working with errors in both directions, basically.
It's no wonder he settled entirely on the wrong answer.
So there he is, there is a picture of an idiot.
LAUGHTER Actually, you were inadvertently possibly closest.
The average actually comes out at about 97.
7, and you said 97.
6.
So, I think you should get another point for that.
That's very good.
APPLAUSE Now, here's the easiest question ever.
What city are we looking at here? Er LAUGHTER Westminster.
Er, yes.
It is.
Oh, yeah, that's very good.
- APPLAUSE - That's very good.
The highlighted bit is the City of Westminster.
There's another city in London, what is the other city in London? - London.
- It is the City of London, so the - Yes! - Yes.
- LAUGHTER Wow, it's good to be that excited.
LAUGHTER We have the City of London, which is the financial district, but Greater London is actually a ceremonial county rather than a city.
And so the conurbation which we call "London", it contains two cities, it is not itself officially a city.
What is the difference, however, between a city and a town? Well, it used to be that cities had cathedrals.
HOOTER BLARES There's somebody obviously in the gallery can't hear the phrase "It used to be.
" LAUGHTER A city has a multiplex AND a Nando's.
LAUGHTER It's a purely honorific thing, it's granted by the Sovereign by Letters Patent, and it has nothing to do with whether you have a cathedral.
There are now 18 cities without a cathedral.
There are 16 towns that have cathedrals but are not cities.
And, lastly, here's a quadrilateral.
Is this shape A - a square, a rectangle, and an oblong? Or B - a square and a rectangle, but not an oblong? Or C - an oblong and a square but not a rectangle? Or D - a triangle? LAUGHTER Who's whispering in the audience? - AUDIENCE MEMBERS: B! - B.
She sounds like she knows.
- Yeah? You like that? - Yeah.
- It goes with your surname, - you want to go with it? - Yeah.
Aisling B, please.
B, please is absolutely right.
Well done to the audience.
- Oh, wow! - Yeah! Well done.
APPLAUSE So, a rectangle is defined as a quadrilateral with four right angles and a square complies with that definition, so a square is a rectangle.
I mean, it's a special kind of rectangle, it has four sides of the same length.
But an oblong is defined as a rectangle which is specifically not a square.
So the square in our picture is a square and a rectangle, but not an oblong.
Well, I think, strictly speaking, - that point ought to go to the audience.
- Yeah.
Which brings me to the quinquaddly business of the scores.
Let's see what kind of shape they are in.
In first place, the winner fair and square, with -4, is David.
APPLAUSE In second place, with -5, Alan.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE In third place, with -7, Aisling.
Yay! APPLAUSE In fourth place, with -8, the audience.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And in last place, I'm afraid, it's back to square one, with -18, Nish.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE That exhausts the possibilities of quads and quins for tonight, so it's thanks to Aisling, Nish, David and Alan.
And I leave you with this quote about quads.
In 1851, Charles Calverley was showing some visitors around Balliol College, Oxford.
"This is Balliol College," he announced, as he led them through the front quad.
"This is the Master's lodgings," he continued, waving at the building.
He then bent down, picked a stone from the path and hurled it through a nearby window.
"And that," he said, pointing to the man screaming at them through the shattered glass, "Is the Master himself.
" - LAUGHTER - Goodnight.