Quantum Leap s03e12 Episode Script

Theorising that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr Sam Beckett stepped into the quantum leap accelerator and vanished.
He woke to find himself trapped in the past.
Facing mirror images that were not his own.
And driven by an unknown force to change history for the better.
His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear.
And so, Dr Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
Sweetie, come on.
Every time you do this, you act like it's the first time.
Oh, Lord! Hang on, baby.
It's gonna be all right.
Get me a blood sample.
You hang on.
Be careful! Oh, in the name of heaven, be careful! Close the door.
Stay out there.
Get her clothes off.
Get her pants.
Let's do the prep.
What? No.
No, no.
Uh-uh.
Just calm down.
No, I'm OK.
I'm OK.
Now, now.
What's wrong with her? What IS she doing? Oh, boy.
No.
No! Now, just relax, honey.
Now, hang in there, little lady.
It's just a contraction.
Thiscan't be happening.
Help her into the saddle.
We got ourselves a baby to pull out.
Come on, now.
Slide in.
No! No, wait.
You don't understand.
Hold on! Be careful, Billie Jean! Hey.
Now, come on, honey.
This little tike's coming whether you co-operate or not.
No! No, it's not.
I feel better.
Really.
I'm fine.
I mean, I'mI'm fine.
Well, suppose I take a look and see.
No! I meanit's not necessary.
I mean, there'sthere's no way that this baby is gonna be coming right now.
Trust me on that.
All right.
All right.
Come on.
That's it.
Now.
Nobody is gonna hurt you.
Now, come over here.
Just sit down here.
That's right.
Now.
Suppose you tell me just how far apart those contractions are.
Contractions? Oh, no.
I mean, yes.
But I They've stopped.
Well, that's good.
Mm-hm.
That's very good.
Mm-hm.
How about your water? Your water break? I don't think so.
Well I reckon you'd've noticed if you'd sprung a leak.
Yeah.
You know, little lady .
.
having a baby is about as simple as it gets.
Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time.
And even if you may not know what to do about it, your body does.
I don't think so.
You'd be surprised.
So would you (!) From the dates on the calendar at the hospital, I knew it was 1955.
November 14th 1955.
I also knew I was in Claremore, Oklahoma.
Correction.
Leaving Claremore, Oklahoma.
Heading for God knows where to do OK.
I won't deal with that just now.
I'll deal with who.
From the paperwork at the hospital, I knew I was Billie Jean Crockett.
I was 16 years old and Dotty, Dorothy Louise Billings, was not my mother.
She had signed friend.
And, from everything I could tell, Billie Jean could use every friend she could get.
Oh, Lord! I hope Effy pulled them perm rods out of Leola's hair.
Otherwise she's gonna look like the star poodle at the dog and pony show.
Effy? Effy? Did you take Leola down? Agh! Oh, my hair.
Mymy hair! This is all your fault, you little two-bit hussy! Leola! Oh! You should've never taken that trash in.
Oh, stuff it! You stuff it! And I told you we should never do the colour and the perm at the same time.
Are you all right, honey? Yeah, yeah.
I'm fine.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I'll fix it.
You can't fix it! It's purple, for heaven's sake! Well, it's kinda punk.
It's gonna be very big in the '80s.
WellI don't know where Aidees is.
But here in Oklahoma, we don't like looking like an electrified cotton candy! You can borrow Miss Parker's wig till it grows out.
I do not want that cootie nest! I want my hair! And I will tell you another thing.
I will never step another foot into this two-bit snake pit of a beauty shop! Oh, Leola.
You don't mean that.
Now, just calm down.
We've been friends too many years.
Well, we ain't friends no more! Thanks to that harlot! Oh, that's enough! Her own people tossed her out.
She ain't your worry, Dotty.
All she will do is ruin everything you spent your entire life working for.
Oh! Tell her, Keeter.
Tell her to send that hussy home! What the hell happened to your head? Oh! I cannot believe I gotta go through the rest of my life without this hair! Never did like that old biddy anyway.
What happened to Leola's hair? Sorry.
I'm Oh, it ain't your fault, darlin'.
Did Billie Jean do that to her? Did you do that to her hair? Huh? Uh, well, Dotty had to take me to the hospital and Dotty? Dotty! Well, was I supposed to let her have that baby right in the middle of the beauty parlour? Well, now, she didn't drop it.
Did she? That's cos she ain't a cow.
And it was a false alarm.
And if you had taken Leola down That witch wouldn't let me lay one brown finger on her if her life depended on it.
That's the God's truth.
Effy offered to take Leola's hair down.
And Leola flat refused.
Said she's waiting for you.
Right.
I heard every word.
There must be something I can do.
I think you've already done it.
Don't start, Keeter.
Huh? Start what, Dotty? Start what? One of your best customers just walked out the door looking like she could tune in Mars, but I'm not to start.
I can handle Leola.
Maybe I should talk to her.
Huh! You wouldn't get a word in edgewise.
Besides, she'll be back.
Hell, we've been through more messes than a fly on a manure pile.
But you, young lady, had better get yourself right into that parlour and get those feet up.
They're starting to swell.
Yeah, why don't you do that, Sam? And then we can have a little talk.
OK.
Hey.
If I was you I'd drop that kid and I'd get rid of it before you cause any more trouble.
Billie Jean was in full labour when you leaped in, Sam.
It took every doctor on the staff to stop her.
Not to mention the shock she went into when she caught a glimpse of your reflection in those O-R lamps.
What if she has her baby in the future? Well, Ziggy's very worried about that.
He says that there's an 86% chance that when you leap out and Billie Jean leaps back, the baby could stay in the future.
She loses her baby? Well, she loses it anyway.
In the original history, Billie Jean put her baby up for adoption.
Then she regretted it and spent the rest of her life trying to find her.
So, I'm here to change that.
Apparently, yes.
How long until she has her baby? Uhaccording to Ziggy, about 36 hours .
.
unless Unless? Unlessyou have it first.
(LAUGHS) What? What are you talking about? (LAUGHS) I ca- I can't have a baby! I know that.
But Ziggy's not so sure.
I'm sure.
I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
There's no way I could have a baby.
OK, OK.
OK, calm down! You'll find yourself going back into labour.
I wasn't in labour! Well, Billie Jean was.
Oh! And Ziggy says that your brainwaves are linked into her emotions and they're cross-channelling into the baby.
The baby's not here.
Well, never mind the baby's not here - the baby is connecting with your mood swings.
Ziggy says you're bonding.
(KICKS SOMETHING OVER) Bonding? Yes, bonding.
And that's a good thing.
In case you deliver before Billie Jean leaps back.
I'm a man.
Yeah.
I can't have a baby.
Men cannot have babies! I can't.
Oh! You don't look so good, Sam.
I just feel a little nauseous.
Yeah, you look a little green around the nostrils there.
(PANTS) (RETCHES) (TOILET FLUSHES) I told you not to upset yourself.
I'm just sick.
I can hear that.
Oh, you probably got the stomach flu.
Everybody's got it.
It's going around.
I don't have the flu.
Listen.
Are you sure that there's no way no way that Ziggy could be right about this? Right? Oh, no way could Ziggy be right about this.
There's no way physically thatyou could carry a baby in there.
Right? Right.
Right.
Soso then, we're just saying that Billie Jean is back in the waiting room Yeah.
.
.
and I'm here in 1955.
Right? Uhyeah, right.
She's there, you're here.
Yeah.
And it's just the illusion of her physical aura that everybody's seeing.
That's right.
They see an illusion of her physical aura.
Not her body.
No, not her body.
No.
OK.
So, why do I feel so nauseous? Uhoh, it could be psychosomatic.
Yeah.
A lot of fathers have that.
Who is the father, Al? We don't know.
And Dr Beaks says that Billie Jean is too traumatised to push for an answer.
(GROANS) You feeling a little better? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just a little bit tired, that's all.
Tired? That means you got the flu.
Just like I said.
I don't have the flu! Yeah? Well, you're not pregnant either.
Becausewhen you're pregnant .
.
the nausea and the fatigue come in the first three months.
And Billie Jean is at full term.
And you can't be tired, because you gotta figure out some way forfor the girl to keep her baby.
I'm just gonna rest a little bit, Al, and then I'll get up and I'll figure out how to patch up her and her family.
That's a good idea, Sam.
Yeah.
You could ask her mother That's a bad ideaSam.
Her mother's dead.
Died when she was 12.
And her father even refuses to see her.
Who? Billie Jean's father.
Bob Crockett is his name.
He's aforeman at Kip Petroleum.
Lives at 243 Prairie Lane Drive in Claremore.
No, not fairy.
Prairie, with a P.
P-p-p-prairie Lane .
.
Drive.
Something tells me we're inbig trouble.
Big.
I'd spent a sleepless night drinking water and making 900 trips to the bathroom.
The whole time wondering what to say to a man I'd never met about his daughter and her unborn child.
Yet, as I lived another day in Billie Jean's shoes, I couldn't help but feel that somehow this baby truly belonged with Billie.
Are you sure you wanna do this, honey? I mean, some things are just better worked out after the fact.
I don't think I'd be here if I had a choice.
Well, then, just wait till the baby comes.
I'll bet you a $2 hog that little tike'll just melt his heart and everything'll turn out just right as pie.
Let's just say that uh history books are saying that won't happen.
There's your dad.
Bob? What are you doing here, Billie? Oh, Bob! Say hello to the child.
It's between me and my daughter, Dotty.
I'm glad to hear there's something between you two.
I didn't realise you knew each other.
Well, your daddy and I - Went to high school together.
We were a bit more than classmates.
What do you want, Billie? Just wanted to talk.
(MEN TALKING AND SNIGGERING) It's not a freak show! Why don't you all get back to work? We've got nothing to talk about.
Talk to her, Bobby.
Can't hurt nothing.
Better get outta sight.
Folks here have enough to gossip about already.
Go on.
I'll wait right here for you.
Come on.
Go ahead.
Miss Thailer called to uh say you decided to give up the baby.
Miss Thailer? The woman from the adoption agency? Oh, yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Miss Thailer.
Right.
Well, that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.
See, I've I've decided to keep the baby.
And I can't do that without your help.
Well, you can get help from whoever the hell it was that knocked you up.
No, I can't.
You can't, or you won't? The only way you're gonna be able to keep that baby is if you get him to do the right thing by you and marry you.
That is, if he's not married already.
Well, II don't know.
You don't know? I mean, I don't know if I should get married.
If marriage is the right thing to do.
Little girlyou're pregnant.
Being pregnant isn't a reason to get married.
It'sit's just an option.
And so is bringing this baby up in a home .
.
and a family with you.
I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life paying for your mistake.
This mistake'll be your grandchild.
I don't have a grandchild and I don't want a grandchild! Now, if you wanna come back home, we can work that out.
But not until you have this baby .
.
and get rid of it.
Talking to Billie Jean's dad left me feeling sad, angry and frustrated.
But mostly, it left me feeling lucky.
Lucky to grow up in a family with parents who listened to me.
Guided me when I was lost or confused and who always seemed to be there when I needed them.
I wanted to give Billie Jean the chance to be that kind of a parent.
There's a Cassy Thailer here to see you, Billie Jean.
Ah.
Hi.
Do you mind? No.
I just have somestuff to finish up in there.
Are you gonna be all right, honey? Sure.
Effy? Effy! You get in here this minute! I brought those papers for you to sign.
Papers? The adoption papers.
You're due this week, aren't you? Well, yeah.
Yeah, I guess I am.
OK.
Now, you just sign all five copies.
Can I read 'em first? Of course you can.
But they're just they're just legal talk.
It says the agency has your approval to put your baby up for adoption.
(SIGHS) Mrs Thailer, if um if I sign these papers and and then I change my mind .
.
can I ever get my baby back? Well, no.
Can I ever see her again? No.
So, then, I'llnever know where my baby goes.
Billie Jean.
Honey.
Where your baby goes is not important.
It's very important.
What's important is that your baby will be with a good family.
And it will have a wonderful life.
I can't ever know that if I can't see her.
Well, I can.
It's not your baby.
It's my baby.
Billie Jean.
No-one in the world will think that you are a bad person because you wanted a better life for your child.
Mrs Thailer, I believe in adoption.
I really do.
Good.
Then let me help your baby find the kind of a life you can't provide it.
Notnot because you don't want to.
But because you need to take care of yourself.
You don't understand.
You need to finish growing up, honey.
To To find out what it is you want to do.
I know what I wanna do.
I I wanna keep my baby.
Honey, what has brought on this sudden change of heart? Uh You know that expression, 'God works in mysterious ways'? It's one of my favourites.
Well, I think this is one of 'em.
I think that my change of heart is God's way of telling me that he doesn't want me to .
.
to make another mistake.
You're not gonna sign those papers, are you? No, ma'am.
Oh, honey, I hope it works out for you.
I truly, truly do.
Oh, honey, you just look like you've lost the war! Just a few major battles.
Your daddy'll come around.
He's still hurting from losing your mom.
You and he were more than classmates, weren't you? Well That's just all water under the bridge.
You know.
What happened? Ah, well Oh, now, come on.
You got much more important things to worry about than what your daddy and I di- (LAUGHS) That was a hell of a kick! II felt that.
Well, of course you did.
That baby of yours has a kick like a mule in heat.
Oh, boy! You know what? I think so too.
Sam, that is disgusting! How can you eat that?! Actually, it's pretty good.
I know folks go for funny stuff when they're having babies, but Jello and onions? I mean, don't you wonder what you're hatching down there? Have you got cravings, or something? You're craving? I just wanted jello and onions.
OK, OK! Don't call me in the middle of the night when you get stomach pains.
Miss Dotty said come into the shop when you're feeling better.
Mm-hm.
Thank you.
Al.
What? I felt the baby kick.
What? I felt Billie Jean's baby kick inside of me, right there.
Gas.
What? You probably feel gas from eating this junk! No, no, no.
Dotty felt it too.
That's a neat trick, since Billie Jean's baby is inside Billie Jean All I know is, Dotty had her hand on my stomach.
And we both felt the baby kick.
That's impossible.
Well, maybe it isn't.
I mean, maybe Maybe when I came in and Billie Jean leaped the baby stayed.
Huh? Read my lips.
It's impossible, Sam.
So just forget about being the first male mother and concentrate on finding a way for Billie Jean to get to keep her baby.
What happened when you talked to the father? Oh, well, nothing good.
It'd take a miracle for him to accept Billie Jean and her baby.
Well, you'd better work a miracle.
Because according to Ziggy, that baby is due in less than five hours.
(SIGHS) God! What? What's wrong now? It's so hot in here.
Hot flashes.
Huh? I'm having hot flashes.
You're not having hot flashes! Yeah, right.
And I'm not having cravings.
But I'm sitting here eating jello and onions.
Al.
(LAUGHS) Read MY lips.
I'm pregnant.
You are NOTpregnant, Sam! But you are running out of time.
Who's the father? I mean Did Billie Jean tell you who the father is? No.
Dr Beaks wouldn't let me get near Billie Jean.
I've gotta find a way to buy Billie Jean some time.
I gotta find a way.
You gotta get real, Sam.
Huh? Billie Jean doesn't even have a high school education.
She hasn't the slightest prospect of finding a job to support herself.
And even if she found a job, who's gonna stay with the baby while she's doing whatever job it is she finds? (SIGHS) Dotty.
Dotty! Dotty's been She's been right under our noses all this time.
(LAUGHS) What's so funny? Oh, Dotty.
Hang on, Sam.
No, no.
Look.
If Dotty had wanted Billie to stay with her, it would've happened 40 years ago - you wouldn't even be here.
Well, maybe nobody thought of it back then.
You keep talking to yourself like that, little men in white coats gonna come in here and take you away.
Thought of what? Now, Sam, you wanna be very careful how you handle this.
It's a way tohelp me keep this baby.
Oh, that's subtle (!) Oh, honey.
I thought you were giving that baby up for adoption.
Well, I was.
But I'm not now.
I'mI'm not sure that that's the best thing to do.
For who? You or that little baby? Both.
The best thing would've been not to have got knocked up in the first place.
This is bad timing, Sam.
Drink your beer, Keeter! Billie Jean.
You are a young girl with your whole life in front of you.
Now, you don't wanna have it ruined by a baby.
What if it's not ruined, though? What if I'm supposed to have this baby in my life? Well, that might be true, if you had a husband and a home.
But you don't.
You don't have a soul who'll help you with that baby.
Not now, Sam.
Not now.
Dotty will help me.
Won't you, Dotty? That's it! I'm outta here.
I'm going down to have myself another beer.
I'll have supper in a jiffy, Keeter.
Feed it to momma (!) Look what you did! Sorry, Dotty.
You just You're the only one left to help me.
I can't have a baby in here! It won't take up much room.
No.
Keeter would just be outta here quicker than I could spit! Uhhe's outta here anyway, Sam.
He never does marry her.
I promised him that you'd be gone as soon as that baby comes.
I don't want you to go back on that.
But I don't wanna lose the baby either.
Well, you do not have a choice! You can work here part-time if you want to.
But you have got to give that baby away.
Look.
If I do that I'm gonna lose her for ever.
And if you don't, I'll lose Keeter! Well, you might lose him anyway.
Shut your mouth! Now, look here, Billie Jean.
I have given you a home, a job.
The food on your plate.
And don't you go asking me to give up my life for you - because I won't! I just won't! Wellshe's right, Sam.
You can't ask her to take on all of Billie's problems.
Well, maybe they're opportunities.
Maybe this is a chance for her to love someone.
If Keeter's gonna leave her anyway - But she doesn't know that.
And you can't tell her.
There's gotta be somebody who can help me, Al! Well, you tried your father.
You triedDotty.
There'swho? There's nobody else.
Nobody but the father of this baby.
God knows where he is.
Willis is probably walking home from work about now.
Out of the mouths of babes.
Willis? It's after five.
He'd be quitting about now.
Effy I really need to talk to him.
I thought you two swore never to see each other.
Wellwe did.
But II kinda changed my mind.
Yeah.
You know, he's probably quitting right now and he's gonna be driving home to That baby must be sucking your brain dry.
Willis ain't got no car.
No, of course not.
What can I be thinking of? No.
He'she's probably just you know walking down old uh Uh Water Tower road.
Water Tower Road.
That's where I'll find him.
Water Tower Road.
OK.
I got it, Sam.
It's about a mile west of here.
You're not really gonna talk to him, are you? He's my last chance.
I know you really don't love Willis.
So you'd be making a big mistake if you made him marry you just to hold on to your baby.
Sam, you should be taking it easy.
What are you doing walking here? It's crazy.
I can't take it easy.
If I take it easy, I'll never find a home for Billie.
And if I don't find her a home, I'm not gonna leap.
How much longer till the baby comes? Two hours 27 minutes.
Oh! What? What's wrong? Ah, I think it's just too much jello and onions.
Oh.
Now, listen.
Don't get your hopes up.
Because this Willis guy is probably just some yahoo who could care less about Billie Jean.
He doesn't have to care about Billie, as long as he accepts responsibility and helps her out.
Come on.
This is the '50s.
What high school kid could pay for a baby? If you think I'm doing this wrong, come up with a better idea! Or better yet, ask Billie Jean.
But not the terrified 16-year-old.
Find Billie Jean the woman.
The one who spent her whole life looking for her only child.
Ask her what she wants me to do.
Well, don't bite my head off.
Willis is just as responsible for this baby as I am.
You mean Billie Jean is.
He's gotta face his responsibilities like a man.
Or like a boy.
That's Willis? Well, no wonder she never told her father who got her pregnant.
He works for him.
He doesn't look like what I'd pictured.
No, me either.
He's just a boy.
Well, you're just a girl.
WellI'm gonna leave the two of you alone.
Hey, Billie Jean.
Willis.
I guess you're due pretty soon, huh? Sooner than you think.
Yeah.
Well, at least now it'll all be over.
No.
It won't.
You should've let Momma Elliott fix things.
Abortion? It just would've made things a lot easier on everybody.
Well, that's no longer an option.
The point iswhat do we do now? I told you.
I can't do nothing, Billie.
I got my scholarship, Billie.
I start school in January.
I'll be the first Taylor ever to go to college.
Well, that's fine for you.
But what about me and the baby? You told me you were gonna give it up.
Well, II can't.
You have to! What the hell are you gonna do? You ain't even finished high school.
Maybe it's time I did.
Oh.
With a baby (!) And your help.
I told you.
I can't help you, Billie Jean.
My scholarship only pays for my tuition.
I have to work to earn my room and board.
I can't be sending you enough money to keep a baby.
You should've thought about that before you made one.
Well, I didn't make it alone.
I liked you, Billie.
I liked you a lot.
I liked that way we talked about books and travelling.
You're the only person in this dumb little town who understood me.
I really wish there was some way that I could help you.
But there just ain't.
I'm sorry too.
Oh, damn it, Billie! You're the one who told me to go to college! You told me to make something outta myself.
Now you wannatrap me here in this stupid little town! I gotta get outta here.
And if you had a lick of sense, you'd give up that baby and you'd get outta here too.
(GROANS) You gonna break every nail on your hands.
You got a better way of doing this, I'm all ears (!) No.
But I can't do your nails again.
My momma's turning 50 today and I gotta get home for her party.
Get the other tyre.
OK, OK.
I'll get dirty, though.
Just get the damn tyre! I told you to get the tyre, Effy, not manufacture it (!) Oh, Lord! Oh! Hospital.
You gotta get me to the hospital! Oh, Lord! Honey, my car has a flat! You look horrible.
You look just fine.
Call a doctor! And my father.
The numbers are on the wall there by the phone.
Call my father! You'll be all right, honey.
Just hang on.
We'll get you there.
Don't you worry.
Come on, honey.
(THUNDERCLAP) Oh! Here it comes.
Here it comes.
No.
It'll be all right.
Get right over here.
Sit yourself down.
(GROANS) Oh! Don't you go pushing now.
You'll have that baby right here.
OK.
(GROANS) OK.
Breathe in.
All right.
Take this.
(THUNDERCLAP) Effy! There was an accident on the Knowles Farm.
Dr Rogers is in surgery, fixing their oldest boy's leg.
The nurse says get her to Claremore or deliver it yourself.
Don't look at me.
I can't help you.
Well, you're gonna! What about my father? Tried both numbers, work and home.
No answer.
You've gotta get hold of him.
Don't worry.
We'll find him.
Run to the field.
Her daddy's probably working outside.
That's all the way over in - I'm going, I'm going! Keeter! I forgot about Keeter! He's been out on the rig so long, I just plum forgot about him.
Hello, Tom? It's Dotty.
You got Keeter down there? Keeter? Oh, Keeter.
I need you to come home.
What the hell for, Dot? Billie's having her baby and I have got to get her to the hospital.
So? Drive her.
Well, I got a flat tyre.
Fix it, Dot! Keeter.
She doesn't have much time.
It's probably another false alarm.
Keeter, we need your help here.
No, Dot.
The knocked up trash needs my help.
And she can need my help until Hell freezes over.
She ain't gonna get it.
Keeter, you selfish son of a bitch! If you don't bring your butt over here this minute, don't you bother bringing it back at all! (GROANS) (GROANS AND PANTS) I can't have this baby! Honey, I think you're a little too far along to turn back now.
How far apart are they? Five minutes.
Oh, Lord! All right.
Come on, darlin'.
We gotta change a tyre.
Come on.
(THUNDERCLAP) Stop, stop, stop! Will you stop?! She's gonna have a baby! Hurry! Hurry! OK.
OK.
OK, honey.
You take this and get in the car.
OK.
Get in.
Take it easy.
You're all right.
(GROANS) (GROANS) How are you doing? Well I've been better (!) Oh! Why don't you let me drive? (GROANS) Because you're busy (!) Come on, Mr Crockett.
Be here! Can I help you, gal? Mr Crockett.
Billie Jean's having her baby.
It was bound to happen.
She's asking for you.
She don't need me to have no baby.
But Dotty's car broke down and she's got no way to get her to hospital.
She can have the baby at home like her momma had her.
Billie's hurtin' real bad.
II think she might die.
She's 16 years old.
She's not gonna die from having no baby.
My sister was 17.
She bled to death in my momma's arms.
Oh! They're coming again! OK, sit, sit.
(GROANS) Y'all wait right there.
Where the hell have you been?! I'm right here, honey.
In the waiting room with Billie Jean.
The poor kid is terrified.
She thinks she's having a baby in an alien spaceship.
Here.
Drink this.
I'm having this baby! No, you're not, Sam.
Honey, they can tell that.
Billie Jean's having the baby I'm in labour and I'm having this baby! Who's she trying to convince? Us or herself? Aaargh! Honey, how far apart are your contractions? Contractions? Sam! You're not having any contractions! We lost count.
It's physically impossible.
Impossible? I'm sorry, darlin'.
I've been a little busy to watch the clock.
Help me get these clothes off.
Sam, this is all happening in your imagination.
Go to Hell! All right, young lady.
You just watch your language.
Yeah, take it easy, Sam.
Aaargh! (PANTS) What are you doing, honey? He's breathing.
Why is she doing that? Beats the hell outta me.
It makes the contractions easi- Why am I telling you? You can't hear me.
You are gonna hyperventilate if you keep this up.
(PANTS) It's not working.
What's not working? Course it's not working.
You're not really in labour! Yes, I am! Let me help you.
All right.
Now, you're gonna have a baby.
It happens every day.
OK.
How far is she dilated? I've been fighting to get her clothes off.
I haven't been able to do the prep or time the contractions.
All right, Billie Jean.
Let's have a look.
No! Al.
You gotta help me.
Who? What's happening? Get her to the delivery room.
The baby's head is crowning! The head is crowning? I don't know, cos you won't let me look! Ziggy says wherever the baby's coming, it'll be in four minute Where's my father? Effy's looking for him, honey.
I'm not gonna have this baby until my father gets here! You don't have a choice.
Hang on, honey! Billie? Daddy? Billie! Dad.
Everything's gonna be all right.
Everything's gonna be OK.
The baby I want She wants to keep the baby, Bob.
She's been saying that for days.
Let's not argue about that now, sweetheart.
Sam, there's a little problem in the waiting room.
What? (GROANS) The baby has disappeared from Billie Jean's womb.
I knew it, I knew it! I'm having this baby! That's the idea, Billie Jean.
Here we go.
One, two (GROANS) Will you get outta here?! No! No! You have to help mekeep the baby.
Billie, it ain't right! For God's sake, Bob.
She's your only daughter! All right.
All right, Billie.
You get through this OK, we'll do anything you wanna do.
Oh, hallelujah! I love you.
Al! Get it out! Get it out! Take it easy, Sam.
Everything's OK.
Bob marries Dotty and they help Billie Jean raise the baby.
You've done it.
You've done it! I see a head.
She's trying to get out.
Give a push! Activate the time machine.
Stand by the time accelerator.
Uhuh standingby.
Activatenow! Oh, boy.