Randall Hopkirk (Deceased) (1969) s01e03 Episode Script

Yes.
Hello? Jeff? Jeff, is that you? What's going on? A party? Jeff, help, please! Jean? Jeannie? Oh, please, Jeff! I wish I could witness it.
I think it's done the trick.
Jeannie! No springs, no wires I can't see how it was done.
When did you say you had the break-in? I didn't.
I said I'd lost my door key.
Lost or stolen, same thing.
Is it? I think it was for real.
You think?! You mean this was a poltergeist?! No, not exactly - I've thought about this - And? I've had this feeling for some time now.
What feeling? That Marty's trying to contact me.
Marty? Yes? Hello, Jeannie's dropping behind in her housework.
You mean you think Marty did all this? - I'm certain of it.
- What? - I didn't! Tell her! - You're wrong.
- How can you be sure? - Be sure? - I was never violent! - Marty was never violent.
But how can we know what the situation is wherever he is? What are you doing in pyjamas in my flat with my wife?! We'll discuss that later! Jeannie, let's clean up.
Jeannie's late.
After the excitement last night, I'm not surprised.
You think it was a poltergeist? Don't ask me.
I keep clear of that.
But do they really exist? I don't know.
I'm sceptical myself.
- Answer the phone, Jeff.
- Eh? - Randall and Hopkirk.
- 'Jeff?' Jeannie, we were I was just worrying about you.
Sorry, I'll be a little late.
Not more poltergeist trouble? I'll explain when I get there - visitors.
Yeah, bye.
You were telling me your problem, Mr.
Foster? Indeed, in our business, we need a very thorough check made on all our clients.
Your experience in detective agency work would be valuable.
- Will you work for us? - I'm very flattered, gentlemen, I'd love to say yes now, but I must speak with my partner.
If money is a consideration With Jeff, it would be.
We'd be willing to pay.
Most generously.
- Will you promise? - Promise? To speak to your partner by tonight? It is urgent, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
I promise, right away.
Jeff? Lunch.
Final rinse.
It's like old times.
Remember, before I was married? Bringing our laundry in here.
Warm in winter, cool in summer.
Sandwiches.
- How long ago was that? - Must be six or seven years.
Exactly.
I'm still doing it.
What kind of progress is that? I get very philosophical.
Money, fame they don't matter.
I mean, six or seven years ago, what difference does it make? A lot, when I still haven't got any money.
Good morning.
Morning.
Here's Jeannie.
Hey, Jeannie! The managing director takes a light lunch in the laundromat.
How else can a bachelor handle his laundry? You know what I'm talking about.
It's finished.
What are you talking about? The business, Jeff.
Our business.
It's ticking over.
After six years, you're still taking lunch in the laundromat.
What do you suggest? Two brothers, Henry and George Foster, a little eccentric, but harmless - and rich.
Spiritualists, you said.
Yes, but they've got a different approach, more scientific.
- And they've offered you a job? - Yes.
Doing what? Check out anybody who applies I don't know exactly.
- But they'll pay.
- Between 75 and 100.
Yeah.
Well? I don't know, there must be a catch somewhere.
Spiritualism's a phoney business.
Stick with what you know.
To what I know? What? Lunch breaks in laundromats? Ten pound divorce cases? It's all work, no pay.
Our business can pay.
We just need a break.
Oh, Jeff! After six years, you're still looking for a break? So you're leaving the business? Oh, Jeff.
I'll be doing you a favour.
You can barely make a living for yourself.
Let it ride, Jeannie.
We don't have to decide right away.
Well I told them that I'd I'd give them my answer tonight.
The simplest way to find out if they're on the level is to go and see.
- For who to see? - You! I don't like it.
It doesn't feel right.
I bet they're responsible for that poltergeist thing.
At my place? But why? They're spiritualists, playing on Jeannie because of you.
- Being a ghost? - Being dead.
They've convinced her they can get in touch with you.
Why go to all this trouble to get Jeannie? We've got to find out.
That's why you're going there.
Genuine spiritualists won't fool you.
I don't like mixing in this sort of thing.
Look, who's Jeannie going to try and contact? - Me, I guess.
- Right.
So you should drop in, even if only for common courtesy.
I suppose you could be right.
Excuse me.
Jeannie Go home.
Jeannie! Look, let's be sensible.
Come back tomorrow when it's light.
Jeannie! We're not alone in this room, Mrs.
Hopkirk! There is a third spirit.
The spirit of your husband.
He's standing right beside you I'm not.
I'm here.
He's making it up! Go on.
- I have a message - I've got a message! I don't trust him! - What is the message? - Yes, go on.
- Tell her I don't trust you.
- A turbulent spirit.
Disturbed, - restless - Rubbish! In turmoil, but trying, striving to get his message through! Don't be afraid, we won't let the perturbations stop us.
- Come on, Jeannie.
- We'll help him to communicate.
It's a bad business, Jeff.
Yeah.
You sure they're phoneys? Positive.
- But Henry knew you were there.
- It was guesswork.
- Well, you're the expert.
- So what do we do? We stop Jeannie tying in with these Foster brothers.
Right, but how? Jeannie thinks she's doing me a favour.
I can't order her to turn this job down.
Yeah, give Jeannie orders and it makes her more determined.
She won't admit she's wrong.
You say their place scared you? Not scared.
I was slightly nervous.
I thought Jeannie would run out.
They've got her hooked on contacting you.
She told me she felt you wanted to contact her.
- And they've moved in on it.
- Or set it up for some reason.
She'll only turn her back on them if we get a lot of work.
So let's prove our business pays.
Sorry to pull the rug out from under you, but it doesn't.
What if, just this once, we made it pay? Eh? Laura? Anyone home? You didn't answer.
If you want an answer, announce yourself specifically.
- Specifically? - Specifically.
Like "I am not a bailiff" or "please, I'd like to come in".
How about "I have an unopened bottle of vodka and please" Say no more.
Jeff Randall, where have you been all this time? Hanging about, darlin'.
- Present for you.
- Mmm You're a darling! - You do know I'd given it up? - About time, too.
These days I just use it for brushing my teeth.
Oh, up to standard, mm? Should be, it cost enough.
- You want a favour, eh? - No.
Cheers.
I never call a man a liar with his liquor still on my lips.
But? You're a liar.
Well, there is something you can do for me.
- I knew it.
- You're an actress? Not if you read my notices.
I haven't worked in months.
- You want the job? - Is there a fee? - 25 pounds.
- I want it.
I won't tell your agent.
You play a rich widow looking for her long-lost son.
- Sounds pretty corny.
Go on.
- It'll run.
For this you need a detective agency - mine.
And you're willing to pay big money.
Hmm, not a bad storyline, Jeff.
- Have you got a theatre booked? - The stage is here.
Oh We open when Mrs.
Jean Hopkirk visits you this afternoon.
Suppose she asks for the fee? Don't worry.
Leave it all to me.
- Cheers.
- Salute.
Yes? Good morning.
- That's not stolen, is it? - Stolen? I'm no fence.
If that stuff's hot you better clear off.
I take it all back.
Nobody would nick this lot.
- How much did you want? - I need 250.
I thought this lot, 50.
This clock alone is worth 50.
- 30? - Nah.
Well, how much, then? 10? We've got a bit of a technical problem here.
We're not actually registered as a charity.
We're not allowed to give money away.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you.
Your help has been appreciated.
Most appreciated.
Look at that.
After six years in business, my total cash position by the bank.
- 27 pounds? - Overdrawn.
What about the pawnbroker's? Pawnbroker's, bad debts Nobody wants you when you're down.
- I could have told you.
- What? How to raise money at the pawnbroker's.
- Television.
- Rented.
Oh.
Um Antiques.
What antiques? They're very big on carpets, and curtains, and bedding, and things like that! I'm not pawning that to pay ourselves.
- You're not? - Certainly not.
Well, that appears to be everything, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
It was good of you to come.
Not at all.
Don't forget, we'll pay 75 pounds the client yourself Provided they meet all our requirements.
You do understand I haven't definitely accepted the offer? But you will, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
You will.
If you join, we shall almost certainly contact Mr.
Hopkirk.
He has, without a doubt, been trying to get through.
Gentlemen, I shall think it over.
Goodbye.
Au revoir, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
You didn't tell her everything, Henry.
No, George.
I thought it wiser to wait.
- Until she decides? - Until she joins us.
It wouldn't do for her to talk to anyone about our plans.
- Yes, you're probably right.
- I know I am.
And what's happened to the carpet? They've got to be cleaned sometime.
And the curtains? In for a penny, you're hung for a sheep.
Looks like you're in for a cold winter.
- Send the blankets to the cleaners? - Why not? See this Laura Watson.
It'll be a big fee, I'm sure.
Look, it isn't just for my sake I should take this job.
It'll give you more steady money and no more laundromat lunches.
What if they're phoneys? I'll make a bargain.
I'll see her.
If it doesn't work out, I join the Fosters.
A deal? A deal, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
How's it going, Jeff? It seems to be OK, Jeannie's been up there over an hour.
An hour? I didn't know Laura could last out so long.
And when did you last see your son, Mrs.
Watson? - Mm? My son? - Mm-hm.
Oh, my son! Let's say about two years ago? Two years.
And where was that? - In New York.
- New York.
- Or was that my father? - Your father? He died, a few years ago, in New York.
A lovely, fabulous man.
You'd have liked him.
I wish he were here.
Mrs.
Watson, the project we're discussing is your son.
Of course, dear.
And perhaps I should tell you that if we have to go abroad to make enquiries the fee will naturally be higher.
Of course, but I don't think money should come between a mother and son, do you? There she is.
I'd better get back.
She's handling this one herself.
There you are.
- How did it go? - Fine.
Good fee? How much do you think? I don't know.
Family's got money, she's rich And devoted to her son.
Well, couldn't be less than 200.
Even 250.
You know, Jeff, you really are the most ridiculous optimist.
This was going to be a big job, hmm? Good fee, everything.
Do you know how much I got? Tell me! - 25.
- What?! And she's not as interested in her son as her father.
Her father? But he's dead! - She said she had money.
- She did.
She'd like to get in touch with him.
It was an opportunity for some commission so I told her about the Foster brothers.
If she's throwing her money away I thought I might as well Jeff? Laura! She's gone, with your money.
- I'll I'll - I know, if you can find her.
- I'll find her! - Where? - The Fosters.
- George and Henry? Right.
Let's get after her before she spends ALL my money.
Come in.
Please come in, Mrs? - Watson.
Laura Watson.
- Yes, of course.
Mrs.
Hopkirk sent you to see us? Yes, it seemed a good idea, but I'm sure I'm wasting your time.
- Not at all.
Do sit down.
- We have plenty of time.
Plenty of time.
Now, just tell us your problem.
Well, there's no problem, really.
I Surely Mrs.
Hopkirk sent you here for some specific reason? I did tell her I wanted to contact my father.
Ah! Her father, George.
He's passed on? Yes, in New York.
Does you husband approve of your seeing us, Mrs.
Watson? Which husband? She's all alone, Henry.
All alone in the world.
Nobody to look after her.
It's not quite as bad as that Please, Mrs.
Watson.
You don't need to explain.
We understand.
We quite understand.
Well, I think I should be going now.
Oh, no, please.
Do stay.
I'm sure we can help you.
To reach the other side.
- George? - We won't keep you a moment.
I think we underestimated Mrs.
Hopkirk, George.
Yes, Henry.
She's sent us a client.
She meets our requirements exactly.
I think Mrs.
Hopkirk must have realised all the time what our intended plan was.
We were too cautious, Henry.
- My dear Mrs.
Watson - Our very own future spirit.
What do you gentlemen mean, future spirit? You, Mrs.
Watson.
You.
You see, we have tried for years to make contact with those on the other side.
- Years of failure, Henry.
- Yes, indeed.
But then, we thought of our plan.
Your plan? It's so simple, it's perfect.
Why, we asked, had we failed? Because those dear departed never knew, you see.
Knew? Knew what? That we wanted to contact them.
But you will, Mrs.
Watson.
You will.
I will? I will what? Know we want to contact you - because we are telling you.
So after you've passed over, you'll come back.
Passed over? Look, gentlemen, this has gone far enough.
I need a drink.
- Pour Mrs.
Watson a sherry.
- Certainly.
And after that I shall be leaving.
- We're quite serious.
- But of course we are.
- Nobody will miss you.
- Nobody knows you're here.
You're wrong.
I told Mrs.
Hopkirk.
Mrs.
Hopkirk? But she's working for us.
She knows how to explain away your disappearance.
And in return Apart from the financial remuneration You will contact her husband, Mr.
Hopkirk And bring him here to see her.
An admirable arrangement, Henry.
One Mrs.
Hopkirk can hardly refuse.
It's a most complete plan.
Which we have worked out to perfection.
Except for one small detail.
Yes, how to arrange for Mrs.
Watson's journey.
- Do you have a preference? - Preference? Look, gentlemen, I am leaving now.
I'm afraid there's no escape, Mrs.
Watson.
Henry.
It would be so much easier if you would agree to cooperate.
She's trying to escape, George.
Well, we know she can't do that.
Oh! Trees, oh! Oh Come on, come on! This is George.
I'll find Henry.
Yes? Can I help you? I'm looking for Mrs.
Laura Watson.
She came here earlier.
Yes.
Yes, she did.
But she's gone.
She left after nightfall.
Who, may I ask? Who am I? Jeff Randall.
Oh, Mr.
Randall.
Of Randall and Hopkirk.
You've met my late partner's wife.
Yes, yes.
That is so.
But she isn't here now.
No, but Mrs.
Watson? Mrs.
Watson? Mrs.
Laura Watson.
Quite.
As I said, Mr.
Randall, she was here, but she left.
You can search the house if you like.
You've You've killed her.
You've murdered Laura Watson! Where are you going? They've killed her! Laura? You're mad.
He told me she'd been and left.
I saw the other one, Henry, burning some clothes.
That fellow George, he said I could search the house.
He was bluffing.
He knew you wouldn't do it! What kind of car did Laura drive? - A red sports.
Why? - They've got it! Henry hid it.
You sure? Let's check before I phone the police.
We'd better go back.
It's in there, Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Wait a minute, Marty.
- Jeff! - Just a minute! This is locked.
Indeed it is, yes.
I tried to warn you.
That thing doesn't go, does it? It might.
Let's try, shall we? Oh.
So this is where it all happens.
That's right, Mr.
Randall.
And where is brother George? On the telephone.
To Mrs.
Hopkirk.
Hello? Mrs.
Hopkirk, this is George Foster.
We've someone we'd like you to interview.
Don't come, Jeannie! Now? At this time of night? Quite right, Jeannie! Don't go! Don't go! Well, I can only say that Henry is very keen.
She is not coming! Hang up! In our kind of work, opportunities don't always occur in regular working hours.
'Very well, then.
' Fine.
It's all right, Henry.
- She's on her way.
- Excellent, George! Then, all we can do is wait.
In the meantime I think we owe it to Mr.
Randall to - Outline our plans? - Yes.
- That'll be nice.
- Mr.
Randall, please.
So you see, Mr.
Randall, it's absurdly simple.
George, would you be so kind? Ah, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
They're in the library.
Jeff?! What is it? What's happening? Your friend and colleague turned up unexpectedly.
It's a long story, Jeannie.
Henry's just been outlining his plans.
They'll have to go, Henry.
Yes, George.
I'm afraid they will.
Jeff Randall, Hopkirk and Hopkirk - all deceased! Ready, George? Ready, Henry.
I think this is going to be particularly satisfying.
Just to set the mood.
Jeff! How are they going to kill us? I don't know, but this is a warm-up.
Oh! Jeff, look out! - Jeff, you're in trouble.
- Thanks a heap.
Jeff, over here.
It's safer.
Where have you been? There's not much I can do.
Well, think of something now! Jeff! Jeff! First rate! Oh! - Jeff! - Jeannie, the sword! They're putting up a good fight.
- Yes.
Shall we? - Yes, I think we must.
Now what? What's that? Jeannie It's all dead.
It's all gone.
But why, George? What happened? An agency beyond us, Henry.
I suppose Mr.
Randall will be contacting the police.
Police? Goodbye, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
Mr.
Randall.
Perhaps we can try again some day.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Yeah.
I'll get my car, Jeff.
Yeah, fine.
Satisfied? Very.
Thanks a lot, Marty.
- Hey, was that you? - Me? What? This is the news.
Tonight the whole of southern England was without electricity.
So far, the power failure is unaccounted for.
They didn't say that? You won't tell them? - Who? - Them.
- No.
- Oh.
Thanks, Jeannie.
I left my car down the drive.
Right.
- Jeff! - Mm? There's someone in your car! I thought you were dead.
I very nearly was, Jeff.
I had to swim for it.
You owe me 225.
I'll give it back to you, Jeff.
When? Er tomorrow? Tomorrow? Don't believe everything you see in the newspaper.
Vanish.
- What? - Shall we go? Yeah.