Randall Hopkirk (Deceased) (1969) s01e04 Episode Script

Never Trust a Ghost

Hey, look out! - What do you want? - You, Howarth.
Just you.
You? But you've Rawlins, here Yes, it's done.
No, there were no witnesses.
It's about time you showed up.
Where've you been? Jeff.
Er, why don't you relax? There's plenty of time.
- I'll fix you a drink.
Vodka? - Super.
Jeff.
Marty, I'm busy.
This can't wait! - You must be joking.
- I'm serious.
Get rid of her.
Get rid? Do me a favour, Marty, get lost! Is anything wrong, Jeff? Er, no.
Nothing.
There's been a murder.
I saw it.
- Jeff? - Oh! I'll just top up my glass.
- What do you mean, you saw it? - I was in the house.
What can I do? Get rid of her and tell the police.
I saw the killer.
They can catch him.
Sandra What would you say if I told you I had to go out? I'd rather write it down.
- There'll be other nights.
- Will there? - Do you want to bet? - Look at it this way.
We hardly know each other.
We should think it over first.
All right, Jeff.
You think things over and then drop dead! Yes? Clayton, here.
Ah.
It's Jeff Randall.
The Yard told me you'd gone home.
Randall, did they tell you that I planned to sleep for 12 hours? I have a case you'd be interested in.
Randall, at the moment, there's only one case I'd willingly handle - murder - 'Your murder!' - How about someone else's? When? You're sure this is the house? - Positive.
- And his name was Howarth? That's what the killer called him.
It's very vague.
Why didn't you grab the killer or follow him? Come on.
You think someone's in?! Listen.
We do it by the book, just in case.
Yes? Inspector Clayton, New Scotland Yard.
May I come in? Yes, of course.
Jeff It happened over there.
Howarth got to that door, then was shot.
- Your name is Howarth? - Yes, Karen Howarth.
Now, what's this all about, Inspector? I have information that forces me to see your husband.
But he's in bed, asleep.
Can't it wait till a more civilised hour? She's lying.
I suppose he's a deep sleeper? Very! I won't wake him up, he gets too little as it is.
He's getting plenty now.
You're in on this, aren't you? Just what is going on, Karen? He was killed.
I don't understand.
- Your husband? - Of course it's my husband.
Well, Randall, will you make the introductions, or shall I? Mr.
Howarth? Yes.
It's him all right, Jeff.
I saw him murdered less than an hour ago.
It seems there's been some mistake.
Marty, I'm in no mood for jokes.
It wasn't my fault.
- It was your murder.
- Too smart, that's all.
All? Marty, there was no murder.
You made a mistake.
I watched Howarth shot down.
I watched Howarth threaten to sue me! Jeff, it looks crazy, but try and find a motive.
Who is this Howarth? He's a perfectly respectable civil servant.
Forget it, eh? What branch? Whitehall? Ministry of Defence? He's not MI5, he's not DI6, he's not the FO or anything else.
But suppose he was.
He's alive.
That's all I know.
Well Well, I'm not satisfied! Nobody goes to such trouble for nothing.
It was obviously well planned.
- What can I do? - See Mrs.
Howarth again.
- She'd have hysterics.
- Not if you apologised.
- Not a chance.
- Jeff.
No! Randall! You were told to stay away.
I had to apologise for my incredible behaviour last night.
- Very well.
- May I? Won't you sit down, Mr.
Randall? Thank you.
The fact is, Mrs.
Howarth, my conduct was inexcusable.
Go on.
You're doing great.
Find out what her husband did.
I'll take a look around.
Well, Mr.
Randall? Er, yes I received certain information, which led me to believe your husband was in danger.
In which way? I believe he's important in the Civil Service? He's head of a department, that's all.
A security department? No, he's senior bookkeeper at the Treasury.
I fail to see what that has to do with last night.
That's it exactly.
I had the wrong man.
Not your husband at all, but I had to make sure.
A pity you didn't find out before you came.
I'll give Mr.
Howarth your apologies.
Yes.
I could wait if he won't be long? - That won't be necessary.
- Jeff, wait! The man who killed Howarth, he's here! Good day, Mr.
Randall.
- He's in the study.
- I WILL wait.
I haven't apologised in person.
- It doesn't matter.
- I'll keep quiet.
- Where's the study, here? - How dare you! I only said I'd wait is somebody already there? Don't be ridiculous.
I told you to leave.
You've got her going.
He's in there all right.
- May I use the phone? - No, and don't go in there! Who don't you want me to see, Mrs.
Howarth? - You've done it again! - He was here.
He couldn't have left.
You won't get away with this.
Not this time.
- Thanks a lot, Marty - Thanks a lot.
Thank you, Sergeant.
- Like a coffee, Randall? - No, thanks.
Cigarette? How about some sandwiches? I'd hate to think I was getting privileged treatment.
For you, Randall, it's a pleasure.
What are the facts, then? You break into this poor woman's home, defy all her orders to leave, utter libellous remarks, assault her, causing great mental anguish, then proceed to force your way into the private study, committing further assault with intent.
I'd no idea I was so busy.
Let me see, now six, two, four That's splendid, Randall, a total of at least 18 years.
- Only if YOU judge the case.
- Possibly, possibly.
Sign at the bottom.
The only statement I'm signing says I called to apologise, she misunderstood my interest in her husband and got upset when I asked to use the phone.
You're being difficult.
You drop the charges, I won't sue for false arrest.
All right, let's go over it again.
Yes? Yes, Clayton here.
Yes, sir.
Yes, he's here now, sir.
Yes, James Howarth.
His wife made the complaint.
Yes, of course, sir.
Yes, I understand, sir.
- Trouble, Inspector? - Get out, Randall! - What about the charges? - There aren't any.
- Better luck next time.
- Out! - You're late.
- Yes.
Thanks to you.
Me? Why? - Where's Rawlins? - He's in the study.
He's not! Nothing's gone wrong? Not unless you mean two hours with the Special Branch.
Oh, no! What happened? Do they suspect anything? Don't panic.
Rawlins? Yeah.
- What were you up to today? - I'm not with you? She telephoned Scotland Yard about Randall.
What did you expect? He forced his way in.
And so the Special Branch spent two hours asking me why.
- What's it to do with you? - I'm classified! Any trouble and the Security boys move in.
- I wanted to get rid of him.
- You nearly got rid of me.
Suppose they'd checked my fingerprints, handwriting? I wouldn't have stood a chance.
Did they suspect anything? No.
But we'll have to speed up the schedule.
I'm about halfway through.
If I can't get the rest by the weekend, we'll go without it.
- They won't like that at home.
- Maybe not, but they haven't got two bodies in the basement.
Bodies?! - Jeff, I've found them! - Them? The Howarths! Dead in the basement! I don't want to know.
But it explains why the woman called the police I don't care if it explains why the Marie Celeste was abandoned.
- I don't want to know.
- But you've got to help.
- I've got to sleep.
- That's marvellous, isn't it I crack the case and YOU don't want to know! What sort of partnership's that? A posthumous one, not recognised by law.
Don't quibble.
It's the biggest case you'll have.
It's on the verge of costing me my licence.
Jeff.
Jeff? We've been friends for a long time, haven't we? I came to your funeral, didn't I? Yes.
You've always trusted my judgement and backed me up.
Once or twice.
Then listen to what I've found out.
All right, tell me a bedtime story.
Well, for starters, Howarth is doing a top-secret job.
But the real one is dead.
And his wife.
The two we saw are impostors.
They're keeping up appearances while they're spying.
- It's all in the basement? - All the proof you need.
Let's look at those bodies and get out of here.
This way.
- Mind the rubbish.
- Don't worry about me.
They're over there on the table.
On the table? Yes, they're both But they were here.
Yes, but when you left, Marty, they went upstairs to bed.
They've moved them, fearing the Special Branch may get curious.
You never give up, do you? All your story needs is the FBI, and we can sell tickets.
The study! Their stuff up there, they can't have shifted that.
No, they've been too busy schlepping bodies downstairs.
- Now you've done it! - I've done it?! Listen, one more Hey, you, stop! Rawlins! Oh, shut up! - What's going on? - Someone was here.
- Randall? - I didn't see.
It must have been.
Good job we moved those bodies.
- Where did you put them? - Yeah.
So he hasn't got any proof.
I'd better make sure he doesn't try again.
There's an easier way.
Karen, phone the police.
Say you found him in the study.
What? But you said I know, but the situation's changed.
The police will do the job for us.
And no more questions.
Marty? Marty, can you hear me? I need an alibi.
I'm in real trouble this time.
I need an alibi, fast! Hello? Jeff? Do you know what time it is? Jeannie, you've got ten minutes to get to my place.
- Don't waste a second.
- But I'm not even dressed.
- That's how I want you.
- Jeff Randall, are you drunk? Jeannie, please do as I ask.
If you don't, I'll get ten years.
- Yes? - It's me.
It's Jean.
All right, start talking and it had better be good.
- It is.
Get into bed.
- That's NOT a good reason.
- You're as bad as M - As who? Never mind.
Unless you convince Inspector Clayton that we've been here all night, I'm in dead trouble.
Oh, no.
What have you done? Or shouldn't I ask? It's what I'm supposed to have done.
Well, Jeannie? It's the law, Jeff.
Er yeah, I know.
Put 'em up.
- Randall.
- Arrest him.
That's my wife.
- I can explain.
- Can you? I warn you, anything you say will be taken down - What are you talking about? - Don't interrupt.
Thank your lucky stars you're not dead, or I'd - I said I can explain.
- I know.
Breaking into the Howarths' half an hour ago.
That's right.
And if he was, then he She's your alibi! Inspector, I haven't been near the Howarths'.
Randall Randall, you're spoiling it for me.
I want this moment to stay with you for a LONG time.
You were seen.
You haven't a leg to stand on.
You said that this afternoon, but you changed your mind.
Yes, he withdrew the complaint, but now he realises how wrong he was.
We're throwing the book at you, Randall! Jeff, what is it? Ooh, Inspector! Good evening, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
Now, let's talk calmly about this, Inspector.
I'm a private investigator, not a crook.
And I wouldn't break into the Howarths' tonight, now would I? All right, Randall.
- Oh, Randall? - Mmm? If I thought for one moment that you Thought what, Inspector? Nothing.
Jeannie, I'm sorry I thought that I mean, it was a shock seeing you lying there Good night, Inspector.
Where do you think you're going? Get out! You're sure about this, Rawlins? I saw Randall go out this morning.
The car's about to pick me up.
If the Special Branch question us, we can't fool them forever.
I know that.
But why was Randall released? Does it matter? The chances are that Scotland Yard will pass on their report to the Special Branch tomorrow.
- You'll get the stuff today.
- What if Randall shows up? We can't afford that, can we? No, we can't, can we? Take care of it.
There's the car.
Don't waste any time.
Don't worry, I won't.
Jeff! Jeannie, where's Jeff? Randall and Hopkirk? Er no, Mr.
Randall isn't here.
Well, I should think in about, um, half an hour.
Can I take your name and Randall will be back in half an hour.
Randall Detective problem with ghosts.
- That's right.
- Yes, won't you sit down? Thank you.
I understand you're well acquainted with ghosts.
There are few ethereal manifestations which I have not experienced.
Good, then you're just the man.
- Yours to command.
- What I need to know is Do ghosts always tell the truth? Are they trustworthy? Interesting.
You suspect a ghost of telling you lies? I-I'm acting for a client.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
Theoretically, it's impossible for a ghost to tell a lie.
No motive and even less incentive.
Yes, I see.
But can they be mistaken? How can a ghost know what is true or false? - I'm not with you, Professor.
- It stands to reason.
Ghosts exist in a fantasy world that is neither here nor there.
A world populated by figments of their imagination.
What is true to a ghost could be the reverse to us.
I see figments of their imagination.
Pure fantasy.
- So they have hallucinations? - All the time.
Take my word for it Never trust a ghost.
Never trust a ghost.
I've had a job finding you! Where've you been? Nowhere.
Why didn't you wait at the office? There's no time.
I've been at the Howarths'.
They're finishing the job today and they're going to kill you.
Oh, really? That's a bit drastic, isn't it? - Drastic?! It's fatal.
- Try not to worry, Marty.
What?! They've already murdered the Howarths.
You've got to hide.
- OK, I'll think about it.
- Think about it?! Look, why don't you try and take things easy? Jeff, you don't believe me, do you? Listen, I'm serious.
If you don't do something, we'll be shaking hands tonight.
That'll dead funny, won't it? Jeff, you've got to be careful.
I heard them plan to kill you.
Listen, they could be waiting up in the office right now.
All right, you go and check.
How's that? - It's all clear at the moment.
- Hallucinations.
- What was that, Jeff? - Nothing.
Now will you believe me? Convince Clayton.
You can't fight them on your own.
- Shh! - Eh? She can't hear me.
Oh.
- Oh! - Time to go home.
- Oh, it is? - Mmm.
But it's only 3:30.
I kept you up half the night.
I ruined your reputation.
Take the rest of the day off.
If you put it that way, thanks very much.
Jean, I appreciate what you did.
I could have been in a spot.
Yes.
Well, just don't make a habit of it, eh? In fact, don't even consider making a habit of it.
Marty, do you think they'll try again? Bound to.
You're the only one who can put the finger on them.
Right, get over to the Howarths' and find out how And you? I'll give Inspector Clayton a large dose of indigestion.
Yes, Clayton here.
Randall! The answer is no.
I want some friendly advice.
'Then ask a friend.
' You see, Inspector, someone's trying to kill me.
I'll not rest until I've found your killer and shaken his hand.
All I need is information about Howarth.
Look, Randall, you go near that house again and so help me - Why is his work is classified? - It isn't.
Check with the Special Branch.
I want to die knowing why.
- You're serious about this? - 'Deadly.
' All right.
I'll call you later.
Thanks a lot, Inspector.
Come in.
- Mr.
Randall? - That's right.
What can I do for you? I understand you carry out private investigations.
Yes.
What do you have in mind, Mr Smith.
James Wentworth-Smith.
- Would you like to sit down? - Thank you.
The address? There's nothing doing there, Jeff.
I couldn't find Now, Jeff, take it easy.
Don't panic.
This is Rawlins! I see.
Perhaps you could tell me some more about the case, Mr.
Smith? Yes, of course.
Be careful, he's got a gun.
Relax, be cool laugh a little.
It's about my wife, actually.
She's involved with another man.
Is his name Rawlins? Great! You've got him.
Right, then, Randall.
Let's see what you can do.
Jeff, he knows what he's doing.
He should be here by now.
- You don't think - Don't be so stupid.
If the cover's blown, we'd know all about it, the hard way.
That'll be him now.
- All of it, every last one.
- Excellent.
Any problems? - None.
We leave at midnight.
- Thank goodness! I'll get moving with these.
Oh, by the way, we have a guest.
- Why didn't you kill him? - I had a better idea.
He is a perfect suspect for murder.
Oh, yes.
Very good.
We'll bring the bodies in here - Ah, Jeff, you've come round.
- Where've you been? Trying to get you out.
- Inspector Clayton.
- How do I persuade him? I don't think they'll be much longer.
- It doesn't look good.
- Thanks.
You must think of someone I can reach.
- No Doctor Plevitt! - Who? - Who? - Dr.
Plevitt.
Who's he? An expert in psychic manifestation.
A friend who I visit at the British Museum.
- Psychic manifestations? - Yes, ghosts.
I'll be able to help him communicate with the other side.
You're a cool one.
Thanks, Jeff.
My dear chap, how nice of you to call.
- You can see me? - Perfectly.
But don't be alarmed, I'm very friendly.
Marvellous.
Listen, I want you to tell Inspector Clayton at New Scotland Yard to go to the Howarths'.
There's going to be murder.
He'll understand.
Well done.
Perfect.
Come on! My dear fellow, you're obviously new to this haunting business.
- What's that got to do with it? - Everything.
You have to understand that you exist in a dream world.
Until you move on to the next phase, everything will be slightly distorted, a fantasy.
Look, just make the phone call.
We don't want to bother Scotland Yard with your little nightmare, do we? Nightmare? You're talking through the back of your head.
My dear fellow, you must take my word for it.
I am fully qualified, you know.
- Not as qualified as I am! - Let's not argue.
You've obviously adjusted very well.
A little over-confident, still - Will you make that call? - Please, don't get excited.
I don't live in a dream.
How can I convince you this is all your imagination? Make that call.
- Tests.
- Tests? Yes.
You take my tests and you'll see that I'm right.
The negative's good.
You must have got twenty pages.
Yes, I was lucky.
I found an error.
I kept the books most of the afternoon.
I had no idea our balance of payments crisis was so secret.
The information there is worth more than your national debt.
Why? Unless you're secret agents for the Inland Revenue.
You don't know who Howarth was, do you? He was in charge of salaries for DI5 and every other department of intelligence.
What we have here, Randall, are the names of every agent employed by this country.
Names, status and zone of operations.
I see.
Bottom left-hand corner.
Bottom right.
In the centre.
Top left.
Top right.
I'm quicker than you, it's ridiculous! Yes.
They'll assume she was at the door when Randall shot her.
Where will Randall be? I think we'll have him by the fireplace.
One clean shot in the temple - suicide.
- They'll never believe it.
- They may not understand it, but they'll believe what they see.
- Hot.
- Cold.
- Wife.
- Husband.
- Me.
- You.
- Remarkable! - Fantastic! Got everything together, Rawlins? Yes.
- Karen, you'd better get ready.
- All right.
So, that's how you did it! The mission was successful.
No doubt we shall repeat the technique.
A butterfly, a star, a man's head, a cat! Absolutely astonishing! You got every test right.
Of course.
Now are you convinced I'm not in a dream world? - I don't have hallucinations! - But you're a ghost.
- A remarkable ghost! - You certainly are.
Then please stop messing about and phone Scotland Yard.
- That's it.
- Good.
Now, let's get to the airport.
Randall, time for you to depart.
The stuff, through the window! They got here in time, then? Just about.
How did you get on? Terrible.
That Dr.
Plevitt is living in a world of his own! All right Randall, what's been going on?! Ah, well, this one here and that one there were murdered by that one over there.
These two over here were impersonating those two over there.
- This one - - There's a body in the cupboard.
- There's a body in the cupboard.
- Where? Show me.
- Sorry, Jeff.
- Marty! I must have had an hallucination.
Sorry, Inspector - a hallucination.

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