Randall Hopkirk (Deceased) (1969) s01e08 Episode Script

Whoever Heard of a Ghost Dying?

It's OK for you.
You can sit in the rain all day and not even sneeze.
Yeah, I've gotta get the car back on the road.
'Yes, I know.
That's not funny.
'What about the last case? 'If you weren't so temperamental, we'd have got a fat fee.
'Yeah, temperamental.
'Yes, Marty, I know.
One big case would solve all our problems.
'OK, OK, divorce isn't your line.
'I remember when you'd have jumped at it! And taken sneak pictures.
'You haven't got to find the rent each week.
'I don't want a villa in the south of France, 'but it'd be nice not to worry about money.
'So, it isn't everything.
'We seem to spend most of our time waiting.
' Well, Cecil? Fantastic.
Absolutely fantastic.
I think he's crazy.
My dear Miss Latimer, the man is a saint, a veritable saint.
We want to know whether it's possible.
I've had Randall followed for weeks.
He does this all the time.
It is a perfect example of ethereal participation.
Or mental aberration.
My dear Miss Latimer, it might surprise you to know that hardly a day passes without my having a nice little chat with some spiritual companion.
How nice for you.
So you think the deceased partner hasn't ceased at all? Undoubtedly.
This isn't a first, of course.
I could quote you examples all day.
Would you be able to sense the presence of this Mr.
Hopkirk? Sense? My dear fellow, I would see him.
As well as I see you now.
Marvellous.
Marvellous.
David, what good is all this? Simply this, my darling Carol.
From now on, the late Mr.
Hopkirk is going to be working for us! Naturally, my company is extremely concerned, Mr.
Randall.
I mean, we've always specialised in full insurance for precious articles.
is in this field.
- You've been taking a beating? - Shockingly so.
But the most frustrating part is that we know who's actually doing it.
- You know? - Well, no.
Well, I should say we've isolated the place of operations.
We have every reason to believe that the gang is using this house.
The address is on the back.
They're supposedly led by a man who's known He's known as "Silky".
In that case, you just need to pass this information on to the police.
So one would suppose, Mr.
Randall, so one would suppose.
But the police will not act on hearsay.
Surely, all they have to do is send someone to question this, uh - Silky character.
- No, no.
They made the briefest of inquiries, then dropped it for lack of evidence.
I see.
And you want me to? Assist us.
Well, unofficially, of course.
I understand you have a reputation for obtaining information, no matter how difficult? Well, we, uh I have my methods.
Exactly.
Now If you can find out where and when the next raid is going to take place, then we can inform the police - And they'd catch them in the act.
- Precisely, Mr.
Randall.
- It just needs someone in the house.
- That's all, nothing else.
He would have to be very carefully hidden, and yet close enough to overhear the plan.
Well, as I said, I have my methods.
I'm sure you have, Mr.
Randall.
Oh, just one more thing.
The question of my fee Oh, I'm afraid we we can't pay you one.
What? As chief insurers, we give a reward when stolen property is recovered, or a theft is prevented.
Then, the amount is calculated as a percentage of the total.
You'd have to catch them first.
Then we'd be delighted to pay you.
And I'm sure we shall, Mr.
Randall.
One moment.
I haven't agreed to take this case yet.
I mean, I shall have to insist on a fee.
I'm afraid it's out of the question.
But we are talking about How much did you say? The amount stolen so far this year - half a million.
A 50,000 pound reward? Happy hunting, Mr.
Randall.
Yeah.
- Well? - It seemed to go perfectly.
Provided the ghost wasn't there.
Oh, he wasn't.
Take my word for it.
Leave Mr.
Hopkirk to me.
Marty? Marty! Why is it whenever I need you, you've floated off somewhere? Oh, I'm sorry, Jeff.
Something important came up.
No, I didn't mean it was - Morning, Jeannie.
- Morning.
- Well, what's wrong? - Nothing.
Look, if you're not well, love, don't bother.
We're not exactly up to our eyes in work.
No.
Or even our ankles.
Well, I'm thinking of taking on a case.
- Oh? - Robbery.
We act for the insurers.
- Do they pay well? - Not exactly.
- They don't pay.
- On delivery.
But it's OK.
I know the hideout, so it's just watching and tipping the police off.
I see.
A sort of a fly on the wall job.
And don't tell me who the fly is, let me guess.
He's there.
What? Um, Jeannie, as you're not feeling yourself today, why don't you take an early lunch? - I've just got here.
- Exactly.
Take a break and get stuck in this afternoon.
Yeah.
I could do that.
I could come back and wade into those two letters.
Right.
All right.
Thanks.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye, love.
Where've you been? Sorry, Jeff.
I'm not feeling very well.
- You should've been You're what? - Sick.
I feel terrible.
I wish I was dead! - Who ever heard of a ghost dying? - There's a first for everything.
You always were neurotic.
You can't catch anything, it's ridiculous.
- What's my tongue like? - Oh, put it away.
I'm not as cold as I should be.
Look, Marty, we can get into the top.
Insurance.
Rewards.
Big rewards.
I can't trace stolen goods, Jeff, I'm not clairvoyant.
With this headache, I'm not even psychic.
You don't have to be.
Look, just hang around this house.
Find out when the gang meet to plan the next job, give me the details - Fifty thousand.
- Fifty thousand? There, you're feeling better already.
Just be inconspicuous.
- Be what? - Keep out of sight.
- Of who? - The gang who are using this house! Once through the main door, we use the office carpet to muffle the noise from the safe.
Larry'll lay the plastic and blow the door.
Reg and Pete clean out the safe.
Larry'll check the window and I'll be by the door.
All clear? The safe's no problem, it's that alarm system that bothers me.
That'll be taken care of, Larry.
I guarantee it.
Well, Cecil? Fascinating.
Absolutely fascinating.
But you're sure? He is there? He's been between David and Mr.
Larry for the last half-hour.
Nice young chap.
Cut off in his prime, I would say.
All right, you ought to have memorised it by now.
- Any questions? - Yeah.
When do we pull the job? Tomorrow night.
It's all laid on.
We move in at 1am.
- Suits me.
- And me.
OK.
We'll meet tomorrow at the usual place.
He's just left.
The house? Not a vibration for miles, my dear.
I should know.
All clear.
Good.
Just a minute, gentlemen.
There's been a slight change of plan.
- We go in at two o'clock, not one.
- Why's that? You were the one worried about the alarm.
- So? - So, at two o'clock it won't be on.
Won't be on? All right, Mr.
Hellingworth, if you say so.
He has one of the strongest materialisations I have ever seen.
His vibrations are marvellous, marvellous! - I'm glad to hear it.
- You won't take his word for it? My dear Miss Latimer, his vibrations were so strong - they nearly levelled the house.
- Hallelujah.
- You will be able to handle him? - Yes, that's purely technical.
One thirty.
30 minutes after 1am.
Don't look at me.
There's nothing wrong with my information.
Then how come I'm sitting here when I could be back at the Yard filling out the charge sheets? - You were keen this afternoon.
- That was this afternoon.
Another 15 minutes, and I could take a very healthy dislike to you.
I just don't understand it, Inspector.
It was on for one o'clock.
It's been a long night and anything I say is bound to be biased.
Why don't you come to the Yard tomorrow so we can talk about your approach to police work, and mine! - In fact, I'm rather busy tomorrow.
- Good.
Let's say 11.
30.
See us out, Johnson, then switch the alarm back on.
- Back on? - Yes, back on, Randall.
- We had to get in, you know.
- Maybe the gang did, too.
With all my men here? Do me a favour, Randall.
I suppose you'd better stay and keep watch all night.
Come on, Randall.
Maybe they had an accident.
I'm sure it was laid on for one o'clock.
Oh! - And where were you last night? - Jeff, must you? They never turned up.
Three hours with Inspector Large and nothing.
I had a terrible night.
You had a bad night? I've had funnier nightmares.
Well? I don't know.
They must have backed out at the last minute.
Get to that house and find out why.
They won't drop it, maybe it's tonight.
Jeff, I think I'm getting something serious.
It's all in the mind.
How can anything be wrong with you? - But I do look awful, don't I? - As pale as a I think I need a doctor, Jeff.
I'll need a lawyer if you don't help me.
- Maybe it's just a phase.
- Do you think so? Yeah.
Why don't you get to the house, keep occupied? All right.
But if I get any worse - Have I gone yet, Jeff? - No, keep trying.
- See, all my strength is gone! - Don't worry, we'll get a doctor.
Somehow.
Hello, Jeff.
I don't want to be difficult, love, but it is eleven o'clock.
Here.
Thanks.
Jeannie, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
- What's up with everyone today? - Oh, Jeff, I just can't go on.
- Look, all I said was - Oh, it's not you, Jeff, it's - It's Marty.
- Marty? I'm sorry, Jeannie, I thought you got over Marty ages ago.
I can't talk about it.
Really, I can't.
I must go.
I've got an appointment with Inspector Large.
Take the day off.
We'll talk about it tomorrow, OK? - You sure you'll be all right? - Yes, of course.
Sorry.
Hello? Mrs.
Hopkirk.
How are you this morning? Oh, much better, thank you.
'I've been thinking about what you said.
'I've decided I'll help you as much as I can.
' I'm sure it'll be for the best.
'Shall we say tonight?' All right.
Goodbye.
She bought it.
Marvellous.
Sad but necessary.
A Mr.
Randall to see you, sir.
Send him in.
Bring your pad, Sergeant.
- Good morning, Inspector.
- Sit down, Randall.
- I've been thinking, last night - Name and address.
Now, wait a minute.
Jeffrey Randall, Investigator.
His address is on the files.
- You haven't moved, have you? - No.
What's going on? I warn you, anything you say may be used in evidence.
You can't charge me for preventing a robbery.
True.
But I can put you inside for 10 years for planning it.
What? The offices of Hackley, Mather and Jones were broken into.
More than 100,000 pounds in diamonds were stolen.
And you think? I told you it was gonna happen.
At one o'clock.
It's not my fault you got tired.
You left too early.
All right, Sergeant.
Fortunately for you, your opinion is shared by others in high places.
Sorry about that.
In fact, I'm almost in as much trouble as you.
- Me? - Let's look at it this way.
Now, I'm not a man to bear a grudge, but if I were, I could make life impossible for you, couldn't I? If you're gonna be unscrupulous, yes.
That's what worries me.
I've never had much time for scruples.
- Let's not be bitter - Perish the thought.
- Look, we can get this gang.
- Really? I've got someone on the inside.
As soon as they move, I'll tell you.
You'd better.
There were over 300 mink coats in this area at the last count.
- That's a quarter of a million.
- It's too easy.
We're not proud.
Poor boy, doesn't look at all well.
I'm not surprised.
Check.
Oh, dear, I do hope he doesn't hold it against me.
Never mind that, is he studying the plan? Oh, yes, intently.
Well, that's all.
I don't want to waste time.
- We go in tonight.
Midnight.
- Midnight.
Right.
- Midnight doesn't leave much time.
- Oh, shut up.
We don't need much time.
Midnight.
He's gone.
Just a minute, gentlemen.
Perhaps we do need a little more time.
Shall we say five o'clock? The alarm, that gonna be off again? It might be, Larry.
Let's hope so.
Another whisky.
Large one.
Make that water.
They're pulling another job tonight.
- Are you sure? - I was there when they planned it.
The Penguin Storage Company.
A quarter of a million in mink.
- Tonight? - Yeah, midnight.
- Not much time to call the police.
- I've got influence.
- Meet me there in an hour.
- I don't feel up to it, Jeff.
It took me all my time to get as far as this.
- You do look a bit rough.
- I feel like death.
Or whatever a ghost feels like.
Do you know what's causing it? No.
Unless Unless I'm passing on.
Don't be silly, you passed on ages ago.
- How much? - 16 and six, sir.
Mm-hmm, ahh.
He wanders lonely in the night, a sad, dejected sight.
I find it so hard I really can't believe all of this.
Mr.
Purley is the Grand Master of our circle.
He's always right.
If we are cranks, we're doing no harm.
If we are genuine, we can help your husband.
Marty a ghost.
Unless you help him.
Oh, I will, of course I will We must ask you not to tell anyone.
Well, what would Jeff Randall say if I were to say that Now, if I'm to continue exorcising this troubled spirit, I shall need one or two articles that belonged to him.
A watch, perhaps, a key chain Well, Jeff has his watch.
Don't you have anything? Uh I've got some cufflinks.
Admirable.
Provided they've retained his vibrations, we can start.
Start what? Releasing him.
Freeing him from the ties that bind him here.
The very least we can do, my dear.
Anything? No sign of life, sir.
Only a milkman a few minutes ago.
- But it was all planned! - It's nearly five o'clock, Randall.
Yes? Just a minute.
It's for you, sir.
Inspector Large.
Yes.
What? What time was this? Mmm.
Yes, I've got that.
I'll be over right away.
So that was your game, was it, Randall? What was, Inspector? Longman's in Oxford Street has been broken into.
So? All my men tied up here whilst your friends go shopping.
You can't make that stick.
I can try.
Don't be ridiculous.
Let me out, then switch the alarm back on, just to be on the safe side.
- They're moving in here! - You said that.
I want to stay a while.
Stay with him, Jenkins.
I'll see you again, Randall.
You say you get these pains in the head and stomach? That's right, and this funny sort of sensation in my fingertips.
I see.
And you're quite sure this bump had no effect? None at all.
I was coming to you before I - Walked into the door.
- That's right.
I see.
Interesting.
You forgot the double vision.
And the double vision.
I forgot that.
- Ah.
You cope with it very well.
- It's not too bad at the moment.
It's worse than ever.
And sick.
Tell him I feel sick.
Now, let me see if I've got all this, Mr.
Randall.
You have shivers which start in the evening and build up during the night.
At the same time, you develop severe pains in the head and stomach, and a sensation in your fingertips, not forgetting the double vision.
- And the sickness.
- We haven't heard that one before.
- When do you feel sick? - Now.
- In the mornings and it builds - Yes, yes, of course.
In the mornings? Mr.
Randall, you wouldn't be giving me the symptoms of a friend? What makes you think that, Doctor? Although you list the symptoms, it's impossible you have the cause.
He's a very good doctor, Jeff.
- You know what it is, then? - Without any question, Mr.
Randall.
He's brilliant.
Five minutes with the wrong patient, it's wrapped up.
Well, that's a relief, Doctor.
Of course, you realise there's little I can do.
I know.
I know.
That's the problem.
I admire your spirit.
A genius! An absolute genius! Good day, Mr.
Randall.
Oh, allow me.
- Thank you.
- There we are.
- Thank you.
- This way.
Good day, Doctor.
Hang on, Jeff.
What have I got? What am I suffering from? - What exactly is the matter? - I thought that was obvious.
Oh, what is it? - Is it? - Of course.
Your friend is pregnant.
About four months, I'd say.
What? Pregnant? You silly old fool, do I look pregnant? Jeff, come back! He's a quack, a charlatan! He's a load of old rubbish, come and tell him! Diagnose that! If we don't find out their plans, Large will put me in jail and throw the key away.
You'll be bored haunting my cell for the next 10 years.
- I've been there three times! - Just once more, Marty.
We'll get them, even if it means holding Large at gun point.
OK.
But I'm no good at night.
Not when I get the Pregnancy pains? - Hello.
What are you looking for? - Oh, nothing.
There's plenty of that in there.
The filing cabinet's full of it too.
I'm sorry.
I was only joking.
What do you want, Jeannie? Well, I I want Marty's watch.
The one he left you.
- What on earth do you want that for? - Oh, Jeff.
What's the matter, love? I can't talk about it.
If you want the watch, it's yours, you know that.
Oh, Jeff, thanks.
It's only for tonight.
Well You sure you're all right? Yes, really.
An Inspector Large phoned, wants to see you.
Yeah, he would.
How did he sound? - Quite pleasant.
- Oh, that's bad.
That's very bad.
He enquired about your head.
Seemed very sympathetic.
He's got a vested interest in it.
He wants to see it mounted! Afternoon, Inspector.
I didn't know you were supposed to play with those things.
- How did they do it, Randall? - I don't know, Inspector.
But we'll get them next time, don't you worry.
- What next time? - Is that thing loaded? Be my guest.
It's safer.
Tell me, just who is this inside informant of yours? I'm afraid I can't reveal my sources, Inspector.
You, uh point the gun and you pull the trigger.
If he's working with the gang, he must know who they are.
He's not working with them, exactly.
He knows where they meet.
And where is that? Don't shoot! I'm sorry about that, Inspector.
Think nothing of it.
Jeff, they're pulling another job, and we've got them this time.
You haven't said where they meet.
I can do better.
I can tell you where they'll be.
Not again, Randall.
Not with a gun in my hand.
It's tonight at midnight.
They're taking the Manning collection of jade from Hartford Hall.
Look, Inspector.
Somehow they found out we were setting a trap, but this time I guarantee they won't.
- Go on.
- You and me, no one else knows.
We go in at nine o'clock, they arrive at midnight.
- Midnight.
- And don't switch off the alarms.
I won't, believe me.
Tonight we wait forever if necessary.
Now, where? The Manning place.
They're after the jade collection.
Jade.
I must inform Lord Manning.
I suppose that's all right.
But he mustn't tell anybody.
Oh, er get some practice, eh? That's that.
I'll go and lie down.
Now, wait a minute.
I don't want any foul-ups on this one.
Stay with them to Hartford Hall.
If there's any change of plan, tell me.
I can just feel the energy draining away from me.
Don't think about it.
We'll find some way to plug you in tomorrow.
She should have been here by now.
Oh, she'll be here on time.
She might have got cold feet.
You know what David said.
And just where is David? Out on the job, surely you know Oh, it is you, Hopkirk.
What did you say? I was apologising, Mr.
Hopkirk.
I was so deep in this book, I hadn't realised you'd returned.
Let me get this straight.
You can see me? - Splendidly, thank you.
- And the other times I was here? Absolutely fascinating.
I was dying to have a chat with you.
Were you? What about all the planning, if you knew I was here? All for your benefit, I'm afraid.
An ingenious plan David Hellingworth worked out.
- How do you feel, by the way? - Shocking.
- But it won't stop me fixing you.
- It will, you know.
You see, I've been concentrating on your case almost every evening.
The effects, I'm sorry to say, are rather painful.
You! All the time I It was you! Well, I am rather an authority, you know.
- On what? - Dealing with unwelcome guests.
Well, we'll see about that.
Just a moment.
What? Before you pop off, Mr.
Hopkirk, I would like you to meet my client.
Jeannie! What's she doing here? How nice of you to come, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
- Yes, I suppose it has to be done.
- What? Yes, it has.
Did you bring the cufflinks? Oh, yes, and I managed to get the watch, too.
Excellent! Look, what's going on? That's my wife and my watch.
I think we'd better leave at once.
No use in delaying matters.
The sooner the better, I suppose.
Delaying what? I'm warning you, keep my wife out of this! But she is the key to it all, my boy.
With your wife and your possessions, it won't be so difficult to exorcise you.
Exorcise?! That's right.
Sooner or later, you would lead the police to us.
Now, we are not greedy, Mr.
Hopkirk.
The robberies were successful.
And if they are to remain so, you must go.
- Go? - Go.
This is your last night on earth, Mr.
Hopkirk.
Bon voyage.
Good evening.
I'm Inspector Large and this is Mr.
Randall.
- Lord Manning is expecting us.
- Inspector Large? You've no objection to showing your credentials, sir? No, of course not.
I'm sorry.
I was under the impression you arrived over an hour ago.
- What? - Someone's been here? Three men, sir.
Two of them claiming to be yourself and Mr.
Randall.
- Where are they now? - With Lord Manning, in the library.
- Where do you keep the jade? - Ja in the library.
Come on.
I'm warning you, Purley, stop now.
Out of the question.
You know far too much, even for a ghost.
I know enough to stop you.
Turn back now or I'll - I'll blow you out of that seat! - With your wife at the back? You'll never get away with it! I refuse! I refuse to be exorcised! Mrs.
Hopkirk, have you got your husband's watch? - Yes.
- May I have it, please? Yes, of course.
Jeannie, don't! Don't give it to him, Jeannie! Banish all ye about me No No! Oh oh no Stop it Purley Stop it! Oh oh oh This is absolutely intolerable, Inspector.
How did they know? - Save your breath, now I've got you.
- What? Only you and I knew.
I'm in the clear but you're under arrest! - Not very logical.
- Just try and resist, Randall.
Now, you stay here! Now, when did the criminals enter the premises? I can't remember, I've been tied up! What are you going to do? Jeff! Jeff, help! Marty, you! I'm really in a mess now! They're exorcising me, Jeff.
- Who are? - They knew all the time! Jeff Jeff, I'm I'm going, Jeff! Jeff Jeff, help! Marty! Marty? Marty, where are you? You'll never get away with a plea of insanity.
I know how they were done.
I know you know.
You want to make a statement? No, no! Oh, you'd never believe me, anyway.
How perceptive you are.
Come on, let's go.
Marty's grave.
They'll be at the cemetery.
- Save it for the judge.
- Inspector, give me a break.
- Don't tempt me.
- I'm sorry about this, Inspector.
Come on, Cecil.
Get on with it.
It takes time.
The emanations from all concerned must be right.
Well, it's dead wrong for me! You should relax a little.
It's easier that way.
I'll get you, Purley, if it takes me the rest of my death.
Exactly.
- Who's he talking to? - Shh.
Concentrate.
In the shades of night, on the grave of life, let all ye present draw closer.
Purley, lay off! Are we ready? No! I'm not ready! I want to appeal! I want to appeal! And now we call upon the forces about us to banish this unhappy spirit from our presence! Jeff! Over here! - Jeff, what are you doing? - You've been tricked.
Stop her! Right.
You've got 10 seconds, or shake hands with my partner.
- No one I'd rather shake with! - No, please don't! Hellingworth planned it all! - He'll be here.
We leave tonight.
- What do you think, Marty? - I think he's right, Jeff.
- Let him go, Randall! Such a profitable partnership, wasn't it? - It's unfortunate it has to end.
- You! Pity I have to show my gratitude in this way.
Jeff, do something! You don't think I came without telling Inspector Large? Save your last breath, Randall.
- Jeff! - Look out! Good girl, Jeannie! I'll take that.
Arrived just in time, eh, Randall? It's you! I'm gonna get you.
I'll wait for you.
I'll give you "banish all ye about me".
Come on, fight! Ah! Oh, dear, oh, dear! - Missed.
- Stand still.
Now, there's no need to No, no! It's all right, it's all right.
Gentlemen, you're making a mistake! He's behind you! - He nearly had me there, Jeff.
- You! He found out, he knew! Everyone will know I'm a ghost! You're worried about the wrong thing.
They tell the police you're a ghost, who'll believe them? - My dear chap - Come on, sir, come on.
- Oh, dear, oh, dear - Get in the car, then.
Get in.
But why would they go to so much trouble at the cemetery? An alibi, they needed you for an alibi.
Oh? Then, how did you find out? Me? Well, yes, um - She told you.
- You told me.
I did? When? - When? - When she needed the watch.
- The watch, remember? - I said it was for the night.
- Exactly! - Exactly.
- How? - Why else would she need it? Why else would you need it? Why, Jeff, I never realised you were such a good detective.
- Ha! - Thanks.
- All that reward money, too.
- Ah, well.
Oh, no reward money.
Inspector Large said he'd assume I wasn't a member of the gang.
And if you didn't press your claim Oh, it doesn't seem fair.
At least we didn't lose anything.
That's one way to look at it.
Oh, it's all my fault, really.
How could I be so na'i've, so stupid as to to think that Marty was a ghost? Yeah.
It's ridiculous, isn't it? - You can say that again.
- You can say that again.

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