Ranma 12 s01e34 Episode Script
Episode 34
Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts.
Lemme go! Akane of the Tendo Dojo.
Wait! What th'--? Their fathers decided they should be engaged.
Don't decide for me! It's my life! There's just this one thing complicating Ranma's life.
What's that for? When Ranma is doused with cold water, HE becomes a SHE.
Akane, I've returned.
I've finally arrived in your town.
But another journey soon awaits me.
Forgive me.
I cannot explain.
Call me a secretive cad but this I can say! When next we meet, I shall be a true man! So would you go stea-- st-- s-- I can't! I'm too shy to ask you to go steady! Poor guy.
So young, too.
What a haul today! Panties! Bras! Wotta haul! Curses! What was that? Get him! Thief!.
Darn! He's so old; how can he be so fast? We have to stop him BEFORE he robs us! Akane, you've got an idea? Yeah! How about this? We stake out the places-- UmAkane? - Ryoga! - H-Hello.
What are you doing here? L-Long story.
another journey? Yes, I must go.
Before you go, though, you'll come see Ranma, right? Who wants to see Ranma? On the other hand, Akane W-When I get back-- Would-- Would you-- What? G-- G-- G-- G-- Got something for you! Another souvenir! (Izumo Soba Noodles.
) You're always such a nice guy.
Have a safe trip! Bye! Nyaagh! Ryoga! A-Akane! How about a bon voyage kiss as thanks for the present.
B-But Akane Isn't it too soon to? Ryoga, turn around.
I-I'm not ready Then I, Akane, refuse! Ranma! Why, you--! It was just a joke! just a joke! That's it! Now you've done it! Man, you're psycho.
This is how you greet an old friend? Shut up! It was a stupid joke! You weirdo! What'cha mad about, P-chan? Unfortunately soon you can say farewell to P-chan forever! What? And the reason is THIS! What's with the weird map? G-Give it back! A treasure map or somethin'? G-Gimme! Gimme! Y-You give it back! Th-TheJapanese Nan'niichuan ! AJapanese Nan'niichuan? Once upon a time, in the far-off land of Musashi A pesky pack of mountain-foxes was vexing a village.
They stole food.
They killed chickens.
Yet the villagers were powerless to stop the naughty foxes.
One day, a wise old priest from China arrived.
I will perform a Fox Exorcism.
He tapped his staff, and suddenly Lo! A spring has sprung! Every fox that touched the magic water became a man.
And thus there were no more evil foxes in the land! Now, it was evil men leaving the village even worse off than before.
And that's the story.
No doubt! It's gotta be the Nan'niichuan! There's a "Spring of Drowned Man" here in Japan.
And its location is on that map.
I'll be a true man, this time for sure! I'm leaving now! Wait, Ryoga! Don't go.
It's getting late.
Let's start fresh tomorrow.
The spring isn't going anywhere! T-That's true.
Why not? I'm going alone! Quit following me! I said I'd take you there! Who needs you? I have a map! First, face the Orient Orient meant east, so This way! This is east! You even blow the first instruction.
Mr.
No-Sense-of-Direction.
You jerk! Gimme! You with a map is like a pig with a necklace.
That spring'll dry up before YOU get there.
Next class is Phys Ed.
That old lecher will show up.
What'll we do? Don't worry.
just leave everything to me! Do you have a plan, Akane? Something like that.
just wait and see! Sounds like fun.
What can you be doing with those? They're gifts from heaven! Are you sure this is it? It's the backyard of your high school.
I'm certain! This is it! This is the fox-spirit statue on the map! "Take 100 steps in the direction the fox is pointing!" "The Nan'niichuan will be there!" Thanks for the directions.
One hundred steps, and I'll reach the Nan'niichuan! You jerk! Wait up! Quit following me! That wasn't fair! It's under that building! We got him! Where's the old man? He ran away! That means he'll be back! Everyone, it's do or die! We'll protect the girls' locker room! That's the girls' locker room? The spring is right beneath it.
I won't let anything get in my way! Stretch your arms and exercise your back! Master! Weren't you expected at the school today? It'll keep.
I'm all set! Ranma! you You're just going to walk in there? What else? I won't allow it! In there is where Akane is chang-- Ryoga m'dear, next time we meet, I'll be all man.
"Girls' Locker Room" - You think the lech is coming? - I'm sure he will.
A pervert like that'll never quit.
This time, he'll regret it! Sorry, I forgot my-- Ranma? Oh, no! It's Saotome from the next class over! In GIRL'S gym shorts! Everybody, come look! Eeyaahaahaahaah! How humiliating!! Man! It's your own fault.
Who asked you!? I'll do anything to change back into a true man! Got it, P-brain? Steal some panties and hightail it! While the girls are chasing you, I'll find the Nan'niichuan.
Understand!? Don't argue with me! Go! Look, it's P-chan! Akane! P-chan's here! P-chan? Where have you been, P-chan? He has a nosebleed! Are you okay, P-chan? You jerk! Wake up, P-brain! Ranma! It ain't so bad, bein' a pig.
Ryoga! You are so pathetic! What's more important: instant gratification or the Nan'niichuan? Instant gratification.
Ranma can escape so fast! I gotta beat some sense into him.
Ranma! Ranma! Oh no! It's Akane! Is that you, Ryoga? A-Akane! What about your journey? Th-Thank you, by the way.
Did you see Ranma? I thought he came this way.
He tried sneaking into the girls' locker room.
Unbelievable! That was too perverse, even to reach the spring.
If I let him run rampant, Akane will be in danger.
Akane? Leave Ranma's punishment to me.
A true man cannot allow another man to behave that way! I will be your bodyguard! S-Sure.
I ain't givin' up! All right! No one's here! W-What are these? Caught red-handed! You panty thief!.
R-Ryoga, you-- Remember the spring!? This is for Akane! I'll beat you into the ground, you creep! Traitor! He's out for a while.
It's you! Ranma, let's stow the spoils of war! So THAT'S how it is! You two can't run now! You and the lecher are in cahoots.
I'm disappointed.
N-No! It's just a coincidence that he's here.
Me, I got a reason! Ranma, give it a rest.
Anything-Goes Founding School Final Attack "Locker-Room Hurricane"! Ranma! Get out of here, now! But Got no choice! Ranma, I'm ready for you! Everyone! We'll get them! Why me!? But I'm not giving up! I'm goin' in that locker room, no matter what! En garde, Akane! I'm touched, Ranma! So much effort for panties.
I'm so proud! I'm nothing like you! I'm doing this for the spring! Man, this is twisted.
Ribbit.
Ribbit.
Ribbit.
When it comes to fightin' girls, this is the only way! Calm down! These are all fake! Snakes! Frogs! Creepy-crawlies! Ranma No fair! Ribbit.
Ribbit.
Ribbit.
You pervert! Where's Ranma? I have you now! Is he on to me? I thought for sure it'd work.
Are you okay? Sorry, I thought you were Ranma.
Safe! Scared me there for a bit.
I love you! W-Wait! We just met! You can't just But Ryoga, I've admired you from afar for months! Do girls with glasses displease you? I-It's not that-- But-- T-That's it! I'm in love with somebody else, so That's all right with me! But-- Are you sure? Sleep tight.
Ranma! What are you doing? A-Akane! C-Cut it out, Akane! Cut it out! Don't misunderstand, Akane! She means nothing to me-- Akane! Do you have to interrupt everything!? Ranma.
Can it be you really love panties that much? Y-You idiot! I don't want any panti-- If you really want them, they're yours.
Listen, I Only, please: Try to reform your perverted ways.
I thought it was just your body that changed.
The time we had was short, but I'm honestly glad I met you.
- Goodbye, Ranma! - W-Wait! I'm only here to dig up the Nan'niichuan! "The Nan'niichuan"? There's a Japanese Nan'niichuan right below us! You're sure? Would these eyes lie to you? That's what all this is about? You got it! Ranma, when you lie at least make it convincing! The deception was flawless.
It's true.
I've never had a steady girlfriend.
And never has a woman told me that she loves me.
Hear that? So that's his story? Poor guy.
What about it? But for a moment, I believed in that girl in glasses.
Tell me why! How could you be so cruel? Why are you askin'? The Nan'niichuan, of course! For that, you destroyed the pure heart of a young man? Why, you pervert! Take it easy, man! The one with the Nan'niichuan map was YOU, remember!? Ryoga, is that true? Why would YOU want a map of the Nan'niichuan? Ryoga! You can't be-- Oh no! She knows I'm P-chan!! Oh, Ryoga Akane, I meant to tell you someday You're trying to help cure Ranma's curse? What a nice guy! Good thing she's dumb as bricks, eh, P-chan? W-Who are you calling P-chan? You wanna fight? You jerk! Cut it out, you two! Try 'n' stop me! Eat this! This is it! I got it! All right! It's water! The Nan'niichuan! It really exists! Hey! Are you SURE this was a map of the Nan'niichuan? Then why aren't we GUYS!? Say something, P-chan! Your "oink" talk ain't tellin' me nothin'! I said you're not gettin' through-- W-What's this? Who broke the water main? Ranma did it! A water main? That little punk again! I should've known! A Japanese "Nan'niichuan"yeah, right.
What does Ranma think he's doing? What a weird-looking pot! This could be a clue to the Nan'niichuan!
Lemme go! Akane of the Tendo Dojo.
Wait! What th'--? Their fathers decided they should be engaged.
Don't decide for me! It's my life! There's just this one thing complicating Ranma's life.
What's that for? When Ranma is doused with cold water, HE becomes a SHE.
Akane, I've returned.
I've finally arrived in your town.
But another journey soon awaits me.
Forgive me.
I cannot explain.
Call me a secretive cad but this I can say! When next we meet, I shall be a true man! So would you go stea-- st-- s-- I can't! I'm too shy to ask you to go steady! Poor guy.
So young, too.
What a haul today! Panties! Bras! Wotta haul! Curses! What was that? Get him! Thief!.
Darn! He's so old; how can he be so fast? We have to stop him BEFORE he robs us! Akane, you've got an idea? Yeah! How about this? We stake out the places-- UmAkane? - Ryoga! - H-Hello.
What are you doing here? L-Long story.
another journey? Yes, I must go.
Before you go, though, you'll come see Ranma, right? Who wants to see Ranma? On the other hand, Akane W-When I get back-- Would-- Would you-- What? G-- G-- G-- G-- Got something for you! Another souvenir! (Izumo Soba Noodles.
) You're always such a nice guy.
Have a safe trip! Bye! Nyaagh! Ryoga! A-Akane! How about a bon voyage kiss as thanks for the present.
B-But Akane Isn't it too soon to? Ryoga, turn around.
I-I'm not ready Then I, Akane, refuse! Ranma! Why, you--! It was just a joke! just a joke! That's it! Now you've done it! Man, you're psycho.
This is how you greet an old friend? Shut up! It was a stupid joke! You weirdo! What'cha mad about, P-chan? Unfortunately soon you can say farewell to P-chan forever! What? And the reason is THIS! What's with the weird map? G-Give it back! A treasure map or somethin'? G-Gimme! Gimme! Y-You give it back! Th-TheJapanese Nan'niichuan ! AJapanese Nan'niichuan? Once upon a time, in the far-off land of Musashi A pesky pack of mountain-foxes was vexing a village.
They stole food.
They killed chickens.
Yet the villagers were powerless to stop the naughty foxes.
One day, a wise old priest from China arrived.
I will perform a Fox Exorcism.
He tapped his staff, and suddenly Lo! A spring has sprung! Every fox that touched the magic water became a man.
And thus there were no more evil foxes in the land! Now, it was evil men leaving the village even worse off than before.
And that's the story.
No doubt! It's gotta be the Nan'niichuan! There's a "Spring of Drowned Man" here in Japan.
And its location is on that map.
I'll be a true man, this time for sure! I'm leaving now! Wait, Ryoga! Don't go.
It's getting late.
Let's start fresh tomorrow.
The spring isn't going anywhere! T-That's true.
Why not? I'm going alone! Quit following me! I said I'd take you there! Who needs you? I have a map! First, face the Orient Orient meant east, so This way! This is east! You even blow the first instruction.
Mr.
No-Sense-of-Direction.
You jerk! Gimme! You with a map is like a pig with a necklace.
That spring'll dry up before YOU get there.
Next class is Phys Ed.
That old lecher will show up.
What'll we do? Don't worry.
just leave everything to me! Do you have a plan, Akane? Something like that.
just wait and see! Sounds like fun.
What can you be doing with those? They're gifts from heaven! Are you sure this is it? It's the backyard of your high school.
I'm certain! This is it! This is the fox-spirit statue on the map! "Take 100 steps in the direction the fox is pointing!" "The Nan'niichuan will be there!" Thanks for the directions.
One hundred steps, and I'll reach the Nan'niichuan! You jerk! Wait up! Quit following me! That wasn't fair! It's under that building! We got him! Where's the old man? He ran away! That means he'll be back! Everyone, it's do or die! We'll protect the girls' locker room! That's the girls' locker room? The spring is right beneath it.
I won't let anything get in my way! Stretch your arms and exercise your back! Master! Weren't you expected at the school today? It'll keep.
I'm all set! Ranma! you You're just going to walk in there? What else? I won't allow it! In there is where Akane is chang-- Ryoga m'dear, next time we meet, I'll be all man.
"Girls' Locker Room" - You think the lech is coming? - I'm sure he will.
A pervert like that'll never quit.
This time, he'll regret it! Sorry, I forgot my-- Ranma? Oh, no! It's Saotome from the next class over! In GIRL'S gym shorts! Everybody, come look! Eeyaahaahaahaah! How humiliating!! Man! It's your own fault.
Who asked you!? I'll do anything to change back into a true man! Got it, P-brain? Steal some panties and hightail it! While the girls are chasing you, I'll find the Nan'niichuan.
Understand!? Don't argue with me! Go! Look, it's P-chan! Akane! P-chan's here! P-chan? Where have you been, P-chan? He has a nosebleed! Are you okay, P-chan? You jerk! Wake up, P-brain! Ranma! It ain't so bad, bein' a pig.
Ryoga! You are so pathetic! What's more important: instant gratification or the Nan'niichuan? Instant gratification.
Ranma can escape so fast! I gotta beat some sense into him.
Ranma! Ranma! Oh no! It's Akane! Is that you, Ryoga? A-Akane! What about your journey? Th-Thank you, by the way.
Did you see Ranma? I thought he came this way.
He tried sneaking into the girls' locker room.
Unbelievable! That was too perverse, even to reach the spring.
If I let him run rampant, Akane will be in danger.
Akane? Leave Ranma's punishment to me.
A true man cannot allow another man to behave that way! I will be your bodyguard! S-Sure.
I ain't givin' up! All right! No one's here! W-What are these? Caught red-handed! You panty thief!.
R-Ryoga, you-- Remember the spring!? This is for Akane! I'll beat you into the ground, you creep! Traitor! He's out for a while.
It's you! Ranma, let's stow the spoils of war! So THAT'S how it is! You two can't run now! You and the lecher are in cahoots.
I'm disappointed.
N-No! It's just a coincidence that he's here.
Me, I got a reason! Ranma, give it a rest.
Anything-Goes Founding School Final Attack "Locker-Room Hurricane"! Ranma! Get out of here, now! But Got no choice! Ranma, I'm ready for you! Everyone! We'll get them! Why me!? But I'm not giving up! I'm goin' in that locker room, no matter what! En garde, Akane! I'm touched, Ranma! So much effort for panties.
I'm so proud! I'm nothing like you! I'm doing this for the spring! Man, this is twisted.
Ribbit.
Ribbit.
Ribbit.
When it comes to fightin' girls, this is the only way! Calm down! These are all fake! Snakes! Frogs! Creepy-crawlies! Ranma No fair! Ribbit.
Ribbit.
Ribbit.
You pervert! Where's Ranma? I have you now! Is he on to me? I thought for sure it'd work.
Are you okay? Sorry, I thought you were Ranma.
Safe! Scared me there for a bit.
I love you! W-Wait! We just met! You can't just But Ryoga, I've admired you from afar for months! Do girls with glasses displease you? I-It's not that-- But-- T-That's it! I'm in love with somebody else, so That's all right with me! But-- Are you sure? Sleep tight.
Ranma! What are you doing? A-Akane! C-Cut it out, Akane! Cut it out! Don't misunderstand, Akane! She means nothing to me-- Akane! Do you have to interrupt everything!? Ranma.
Can it be you really love panties that much? Y-You idiot! I don't want any panti-- If you really want them, they're yours.
Listen, I Only, please: Try to reform your perverted ways.
I thought it was just your body that changed.
The time we had was short, but I'm honestly glad I met you.
- Goodbye, Ranma! - W-Wait! I'm only here to dig up the Nan'niichuan! "The Nan'niichuan"? There's a Japanese Nan'niichuan right below us! You're sure? Would these eyes lie to you? That's what all this is about? You got it! Ranma, when you lie at least make it convincing! The deception was flawless.
It's true.
I've never had a steady girlfriend.
And never has a woman told me that she loves me.
Hear that? So that's his story? Poor guy.
What about it? But for a moment, I believed in that girl in glasses.
Tell me why! How could you be so cruel? Why are you askin'? The Nan'niichuan, of course! For that, you destroyed the pure heart of a young man? Why, you pervert! Take it easy, man! The one with the Nan'niichuan map was YOU, remember!? Ryoga, is that true? Why would YOU want a map of the Nan'niichuan? Ryoga! You can't be-- Oh no! She knows I'm P-chan!! Oh, Ryoga Akane, I meant to tell you someday You're trying to help cure Ranma's curse? What a nice guy! Good thing she's dumb as bricks, eh, P-chan? W-Who are you calling P-chan? You wanna fight? You jerk! Cut it out, you two! Try 'n' stop me! Eat this! This is it! I got it! All right! It's water! The Nan'niichuan! It really exists! Hey! Are you SURE this was a map of the Nan'niichuan? Then why aren't we GUYS!? Say something, P-chan! Your "oink" talk ain't tellin' me nothin'! I said you're not gettin' through-- W-What's this? Who broke the water main? Ranma did it! A water main? That little punk again! I should've known! A Japanese "Nan'niichuan"yeah, right.
What does Ranma think he's doing? What a weird-looking pot! This could be a clue to the Nan'niichuan!