Ranma 12 s01e82 Episode Script
Episode 82
Special delivery! Akane! To Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Girl - So early in the morning? - From that jerk Kuno? Tatewaki Kuno, Age Seventeen So what is it? Wait a minute.
Salutations! Miss Akane Tendo! What the--? This is a present from Master Kuno.
What is this?! I have surely delivered it to you.
Pardon! Oops, I need my loincloth.
What the heck is it? Keep it.
He wants you to have it.
And so, Akane Tendo and Pigtailed Girl.
.
.
I'll be away from school for a few days.
You'll miss me terribly, so here is a bust of myself.
Think of it as me.
.
.
and kiss it, touch its cheek, do to it anything you wish.
Anything you wish.
.
.
Anything you wish.
.
.
Anything.
.
.
He's disgustin'! Kuno has such vulgar taste.
Why's he skipping school, though? Who knows? Up to no good, probably.
Get in line, gentlemen.
It's on exhibit only once a year.
What an amazing turnout.
The legendary sword, Wish Granter.
I shall make it mine! Lodged in stone since feudal times is the sacred Wish Granter! Whosoever frees it shall be granted three wishes.
I shall pull it out! Down through the ages, the strongest have tried.
But none has succeeded.
.
.
to this very day.
Next.
Next in line.
It's no use.
No skill or force will dislodge Wish Granter.
This sword is destined to yield to the hand of the chosen one.
You must all have confidence that you are he.
Next.
Next! Next challenger.
A-Abbot! Could he be--?! There is no mistake! According to this ancient temple document--! He was surely chosen to free Wish Granter.
I? The chosen one? You did it! That's my master! I? The sword of legend, Wish Granter, has chosen me? I--? I--? I, Tatewaki Kuno, have succeeded at the age of seventeen! Why'd we have to leave so early?! It won't hurt once in a while.
I hate being late all the time.
I haven't walked to school with Ranma in months.
Sorry about that.
I make efficient use of my time-- What's the idea, Old Man?! "Hey Stupid!!" "Zat what you call time management? Forgettin' your lunch?" Oh, sorry.
But didja hafta.
.
.
hit me.
.
.
so hard?! "Sorry, but" "there's no way I" "hit you" "that hard.
" Wanna fight?! - I guess we're going to be late again.
- Look, there's Kuno.
Wish Granter will make three wishes come true.
It's Kuno.
He's been out for a couple of days.
Oh, no.
This is a predicament.
I am already handsome, trim, brilliant.
.
.
rich, of impeccable character.
Also, strong, refined, wise.
Am I not the perfect man? Too many!! Three wishes are much too many for me!! Hey, he's actin' weird.
Better keep away from him.
Welcome back, Kuno, ol' pal.
Where were you? Ranma Saotome, where do you think you are perched? On an empty head, maybe? What? Ordinarily, I'd get angry.
However.
.
.
Wish Granter, here is my first wish! Punish Ranma Saotome! Your wish is granted! Prepare to die! That cheap sword don't scare me! - Ranma! - Oh, boy.
Ranma Saotome, let this be a lesson.
Never toy with me.
Are you okay, Ranma? That sword--! What the heck is it? "Th-That sword" "Can it be!?" Hurry! Before somebody else gets the court! Wait up! It's the sacred sword that grants three wishes? Yes.
Listen, Ranma, we've got to steal Wish Granter from Kuno.
If we do-- I get it.
- If we do--!! - If we do-- No more panda! No more Girl Ranma! Chosen by the sacred sword? You? Come off it! Isn't it some kind of mistake? You're so ignorant, Nabiki Tendo.
If you think I'm lying, Take a look at this.
What's this? The ancient scroll I received from the temple as a memento.
Namely, it's proof that I am the rightful owner of the sword.
Proof? This is--! What's this? So--! Congratulations to Our Manganmaru Challenger ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER Congratulations, you are the millionth challenger! What incredible luck! I'll probably never forget that excitement.
So it was like winning a supermarket lottery? If that thing grants three wishes-- He's got two wishes left.
Remember, fellow classmates.
.
.
Wish Granter can make any dream come true.
Even something no man has ever done.
.
.
conquer the world!! Somebody, grab 'im! Now here is my second wish! No, don't do it! I want a date with the Pigtailed Girl! Your wish is granted! - Thank goodness.
- We're lucky Kuno's a moron.
A note.
"My dearest, dearest Kuno.
.
.
" "Please come on a date with me this Sunday.
Pretty please?" "From Your Pigtailed Girl"?! Praises upon thee, oh, Wish Granter! Ranma! Are you serious about going on that date tomorrow? Naturally.
But they say Kuno's already used up two of his wishes.
Looks that way.
You must get that sword away from him somehow! Leave it to me! If I can be a whole man again.
.
.
! I'll become any sweet, little thing! That's the spirit! Then when he's not looking, I'll grab that sword! Exactly!! You're dreaming, Ranma.
You're dealing with Kuno here.
It won't be that easy.
That's right, if Ranma's not careful-- Let us be madly in love! Tatewaki, I'm.
.
.
all.
.
.
yours.
Oh, baby! Baby! Keep me outta your loony fantasies! I'm so cute, it's scary.
Go light on the makeup.
Ranma.
.
.
! It's the crack of dawn, Geez! I just gotta get that last wish.
Pigtailed Girl.
.
.
Look.
A beautiful dawn, is it not? Yes! It's wonderful! Whatta pain.
Ranma!! Go for it! What kind of date is that? Pigtailed Girl, what did you pray for? Oh, dear! I prayed that I would have a wonderful day with you.
What?! What a touching prayer! I must see that it is answered--! Quit it!! Don't waste your wish! Well then, Pigtailed Girl, I'll race you to the promontory.
Please wait! You're falling behind, Pigtailed Girl! Wait for me! I fell! It hurts! Pigtailed Girl! Oww.
Are you all right, Pigtailed Girl? Caught you! It's mine! No.
Not so fast, Pigtailed Girl.
We must proceed slowly if we are dating seriously.
As high-school students, let's start with a daily diary exchange.
You can be pretty decent, sometimes, can't you? Now, let's have breakfast.
What do you think? I made this last night.
Help yourself to whatever you wish.
I'll feed him some of this sleeping powder.
Kuno honey, open wide.
Is it good? You minx.
Now, go beddy-bye! Funny.
Isn't it working? He gives me the creeps! But now, I can-- I'll take that! Pop!! What's the idea?! Forgive me, Ranma! Only one wish can be granted! There's no way to make both of us normal again! Your sacrifice will not be in vain! You dirty traitor! Now, dear Father, what's this about "sacrifices"? Wait--! I've got a good idea.
Wish Granter, give me ten more wishes! I get it! That's one way! That wish.
.
.
is a rule violation! Also, voice check invalid.
Wish voided! Voice check? In other words, the sword will only obey only Kuno? So that means.
.
.
I can have Kuno make the wish for me! I've been looking for you, Pigtailed Girl.
You woke up already?! Oh, Akane Tendo's here! I see.
You're jealous because I'm dating the Pigtailed Girl.
Look, you--! I know! Say no more.
For my third wish, let me date Akane Ten--! FORGET IT! C'mon, Kuno! Let's continue our date! I really don't think it's wise.
Wait, you! Catch me! What's Ranma trying to do, anyway? Kuno, I want to change myself.
Fine, I'll have Wish Granter make your wish come true.
I don't think it'll go that smoothly.
Just watch! I'm gonna be all man again! Stop! You slippery minx! Okay, then.
.
.
! I'll ask Wish Granter to help me--! Don't waste your wish!! I was only joking.
You're awful, Kuno! You have only one wish left, don't you? You've got to use it wisely! Of course! Aren't you thirsty from all that running? I'll have Wish Granter bring a tea stand--! Will you quit it?! LODGING HOUSE Say ahh! - Good? - Scrumptious! This is so stupid.
I guess I'll hafta turn on the charm.
What do you want to eat next? Say, Kuno.
.
.
? W-What is it? I have a problem.
T-Tell me.
It's a problem with my body.
Your b-body? If you get Wish Granter to fix it.
.
.
I'll do anything you want! A-Anything I want?! Ranma!! - Have you no shame?! - Akane Tendo! Whaddya want?! You're jealous of me and the Pigtailed Girl, after all? How sweet--! That's not it!! Quit meddlin', Akane! Will you go that far to be a man again?! Naturally! Let's go, Kuno! Wait a minute! Forgive me, Akane Tendo! Ranma--! Over here, Kuno! You won't get away this time! Over here! Wait! Look out! - Are you all right, Pigtailed Girl? - Kuno.
.
.
I've almost got 'im.
By the way, about what you said-- Name it, Kuno.
I'll do anything.
All right.
Close your eyes.
OH, JOY! The first kiss on our first date! What a happy couple! Ranma, if you're so determined, I won't stop you.
I'll bear witness to your noble kiss! Never mind! I won't interfere any more, either.
Go right ahead.
Akane--! Akane Tendo, don't be sad.
You'll be next.
No, thanks! Now then--! Once this ordeal is over, I'll be all man again! The suspense is killing me! Ranma, you fool! I CAN'T DO IT!! Chaste.
.
.
as stone-- Ranma.
.
.
? It's no use! No use! I can't do it.
.
.
! It's all OVER! Ranma! Wait! Pigtailed Girl, I truly enjoyed our date today.
I always planned to give you the third wish as a present.
What.
.
.
? Kuno.
.
.
! Now, Wish Granter! Grant my final wish! He did it! At last.
.
.
AT LAST.
.
.
!! I'm my old self again! No, I ain't.
.
.
! How come?! Tatewaki Kuno The Pigtailed Girl For you, Pigtailed Girl! A memento of our date! Tatewaki Kuno The Pigtailed Girl In Remembrance of Their First Date
Salutations! Miss Akane Tendo! What the--? This is a present from Master Kuno.
What is this?! I have surely delivered it to you.
Pardon! Oops, I need my loincloth.
What the heck is it? Keep it.
He wants you to have it.
And so, Akane Tendo and Pigtailed Girl.
.
.
I'll be away from school for a few days.
You'll miss me terribly, so here is a bust of myself.
Think of it as me.
.
.
and kiss it, touch its cheek, do to it anything you wish.
Anything you wish.
.
.
Anything you wish.
.
.
Anything.
.
.
He's disgustin'! Kuno has such vulgar taste.
Why's he skipping school, though? Who knows? Up to no good, probably.
Get in line, gentlemen.
It's on exhibit only once a year.
What an amazing turnout.
The legendary sword, Wish Granter.
I shall make it mine! Lodged in stone since feudal times is the sacred Wish Granter! Whosoever frees it shall be granted three wishes.
I shall pull it out! Down through the ages, the strongest have tried.
But none has succeeded.
.
.
to this very day.
Next.
Next in line.
It's no use.
No skill or force will dislodge Wish Granter.
This sword is destined to yield to the hand of the chosen one.
You must all have confidence that you are he.
Next.
Next! Next challenger.
A-Abbot! Could he be--?! There is no mistake! According to this ancient temple document--! He was surely chosen to free Wish Granter.
I? The chosen one? You did it! That's my master! I? The sword of legend, Wish Granter, has chosen me? I--? I--? I, Tatewaki Kuno, have succeeded at the age of seventeen! Why'd we have to leave so early?! It won't hurt once in a while.
I hate being late all the time.
I haven't walked to school with Ranma in months.
Sorry about that.
I make efficient use of my time-- What's the idea, Old Man?! "Hey Stupid!!" "Zat what you call time management? Forgettin' your lunch?" Oh, sorry.
But didja hafta.
.
.
hit me.
.
.
so hard?! "Sorry, but" "there's no way I" "hit you" "that hard.
" Wanna fight?! - I guess we're going to be late again.
- Look, there's Kuno.
Wish Granter will make three wishes come true.
It's Kuno.
He's been out for a couple of days.
Oh, no.
This is a predicament.
I am already handsome, trim, brilliant.
.
.
rich, of impeccable character.
Also, strong, refined, wise.
Am I not the perfect man? Too many!! Three wishes are much too many for me!! Hey, he's actin' weird.
Better keep away from him.
Welcome back, Kuno, ol' pal.
Where were you? Ranma Saotome, where do you think you are perched? On an empty head, maybe? What? Ordinarily, I'd get angry.
However.
.
.
Wish Granter, here is my first wish! Punish Ranma Saotome! Your wish is granted! Prepare to die! That cheap sword don't scare me! - Ranma! - Oh, boy.
Ranma Saotome, let this be a lesson.
Never toy with me.
Are you okay, Ranma? That sword--! What the heck is it? "Th-That sword" "Can it be!?" Hurry! Before somebody else gets the court! Wait up! It's the sacred sword that grants three wishes? Yes.
Listen, Ranma, we've got to steal Wish Granter from Kuno.
If we do-- I get it.
- If we do--!! - If we do-- No more panda! No more Girl Ranma! Chosen by the sacred sword? You? Come off it! Isn't it some kind of mistake? You're so ignorant, Nabiki Tendo.
If you think I'm lying, Take a look at this.
What's this? The ancient scroll I received from the temple as a memento.
Namely, it's proof that I am the rightful owner of the sword.
Proof? This is--! What's this? So--! Congratulations to Our Manganmaru Challenger ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER Congratulations, you are the millionth challenger! What incredible luck! I'll probably never forget that excitement.
So it was like winning a supermarket lottery? If that thing grants three wishes-- He's got two wishes left.
Remember, fellow classmates.
.
.
Wish Granter can make any dream come true.
Even something no man has ever done.
.
.
conquer the world!! Somebody, grab 'im! Now here is my second wish! No, don't do it! I want a date with the Pigtailed Girl! Your wish is granted! - Thank goodness.
- We're lucky Kuno's a moron.
A note.
"My dearest, dearest Kuno.
.
.
" "Please come on a date with me this Sunday.
Pretty please?" "From Your Pigtailed Girl"?! Praises upon thee, oh, Wish Granter! Ranma! Are you serious about going on that date tomorrow? Naturally.
But they say Kuno's already used up two of his wishes.
Looks that way.
You must get that sword away from him somehow! Leave it to me! If I can be a whole man again.
.
.
! I'll become any sweet, little thing! That's the spirit! Then when he's not looking, I'll grab that sword! Exactly!! You're dreaming, Ranma.
You're dealing with Kuno here.
It won't be that easy.
That's right, if Ranma's not careful-- Let us be madly in love! Tatewaki, I'm.
.
.
all.
.
.
yours.
Oh, baby! Baby! Keep me outta your loony fantasies! I'm so cute, it's scary.
Go light on the makeup.
Ranma.
.
.
! It's the crack of dawn, Geez! I just gotta get that last wish.
Pigtailed Girl.
.
.
Look.
A beautiful dawn, is it not? Yes! It's wonderful! Whatta pain.
Ranma!! Go for it! What kind of date is that? Pigtailed Girl, what did you pray for? Oh, dear! I prayed that I would have a wonderful day with you.
What?! What a touching prayer! I must see that it is answered--! Quit it!! Don't waste your wish! Well then, Pigtailed Girl, I'll race you to the promontory.
Please wait! You're falling behind, Pigtailed Girl! Wait for me! I fell! It hurts! Pigtailed Girl! Oww.
Are you all right, Pigtailed Girl? Caught you! It's mine! No.
Not so fast, Pigtailed Girl.
We must proceed slowly if we are dating seriously.
As high-school students, let's start with a daily diary exchange.
You can be pretty decent, sometimes, can't you? Now, let's have breakfast.
What do you think? I made this last night.
Help yourself to whatever you wish.
I'll feed him some of this sleeping powder.
Kuno honey, open wide.
Is it good? You minx.
Now, go beddy-bye! Funny.
Isn't it working? He gives me the creeps! But now, I can-- I'll take that! Pop!! What's the idea?! Forgive me, Ranma! Only one wish can be granted! There's no way to make both of us normal again! Your sacrifice will not be in vain! You dirty traitor! Now, dear Father, what's this about "sacrifices"? Wait--! I've got a good idea.
Wish Granter, give me ten more wishes! I get it! That's one way! That wish.
.
.
is a rule violation! Also, voice check invalid.
Wish voided! Voice check? In other words, the sword will only obey only Kuno? So that means.
.
.
I can have Kuno make the wish for me! I've been looking for you, Pigtailed Girl.
You woke up already?! Oh, Akane Tendo's here! I see.
You're jealous because I'm dating the Pigtailed Girl.
Look, you--! I know! Say no more.
For my third wish, let me date Akane Ten--! FORGET IT! C'mon, Kuno! Let's continue our date! I really don't think it's wise.
Wait, you! Catch me! What's Ranma trying to do, anyway? Kuno, I want to change myself.
Fine, I'll have Wish Granter make your wish come true.
I don't think it'll go that smoothly.
Just watch! I'm gonna be all man again! Stop! You slippery minx! Okay, then.
.
.
! I'll ask Wish Granter to help me--! Don't waste your wish!! I was only joking.
You're awful, Kuno! You have only one wish left, don't you? You've got to use it wisely! Of course! Aren't you thirsty from all that running? I'll have Wish Granter bring a tea stand--! Will you quit it?! LODGING HOUSE Say ahh! - Good? - Scrumptious! This is so stupid.
I guess I'll hafta turn on the charm.
What do you want to eat next? Say, Kuno.
.
.
? W-What is it? I have a problem.
T-Tell me.
It's a problem with my body.
Your b-body? If you get Wish Granter to fix it.
.
.
I'll do anything you want! A-Anything I want?! Ranma!! - Have you no shame?! - Akane Tendo! Whaddya want?! You're jealous of me and the Pigtailed Girl, after all? How sweet--! That's not it!! Quit meddlin', Akane! Will you go that far to be a man again?! Naturally! Let's go, Kuno! Wait a minute! Forgive me, Akane Tendo! Ranma--! Over here, Kuno! You won't get away this time! Over here! Wait! Look out! - Are you all right, Pigtailed Girl? - Kuno.
.
.
I've almost got 'im.
By the way, about what you said-- Name it, Kuno.
I'll do anything.
All right.
Close your eyes.
OH, JOY! The first kiss on our first date! What a happy couple! Ranma, if you're so determined, I won't stop you.
I'll bear witness to your noble kiss! Never mind! I won't interfere any more, either.
Go right ahead.
Akane--! Akane Tendo, don't be sad.
You'll be next.
No, thanks! Now then--! Once this ordeal is over, I'll be all man again! The suspense is killing me! Ranma, you fool! I CAN'T DO IT!! Chaste.
.
.
as stone-- Ranma.
.
.
? It's no use! No use! I can't do it.
.
.
! It's all OVER! Ranma! Wait! Pigtailed Girl, I truly enjoyed our date today.
I always planned to give you the third wish as a present.
What.
.
.
? Kuno.
.
.
! Now, Wish Granter! Grant my final wish! He did it! At last.
.
.
AT LAST.
.
.
!! I'm my old self again! No, I ain't.
.
.
! How come?! Tatewaki Kuno The Pigtailed Girl For you, Pigtailed Girl! A memento of our date! Tatewaki Kuno The Pigtailed Girl In Remembrance of Their First Date