Republic of Doyle (2009) s02e09 Episode Script

Will the Real Des Courtney Please Stand Up?

Previously, on Republic of Doyle.
I think I smell toast! You can't half-ass this kind of thing, or Jake'll never see you as more than a little brother.
I need you and Tinny to get down here right away.
Whatever you need.
I got your back, bro.
Why do you keep calling me bro? I know that you're always in my way, and, uh, you're always getting on my nerves Yeah? You don't need to be like me.
You can do much better.
It's a changing city and you need to make moves to protect her, and I think a guy like you would be a great asset for the team.
Are you messing with him? I think he offered me a job.
I can't stop thinking about us.
Why are we hiding from the truth? Allison Jenkins, this is Jake Doyle.
Allison's the new Crown attorney! Of course you are.
Let's not confuse our personal relationship with what's going on here.
Get outta the car! Now! He's got a gun! Hold your fire! He's got a gun Hold your fire! Put the weapon down now! Now! Turn around! Slowly! Take off the mask! Oh, yeah oh, yeah oh, yeah oh, yeah oh, yeah-e-yeah-e-yeah-e-yeah oh, yeah-e-yeah-e-yeah-e-yeah oh, yeah You stole my car? What the hell were you doing with my car? What were you doing with my car! I was uh I was just takin' it f-for a ride, I was I was checking I was gonna go check the gas pedals I'm gonna kill ya! Ah! Settle down! I swear to God! Jake! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am.
What the hell is wrong with you? I'm fine.
I'm sorry, I'm fine.
How about we just go over what happened, okay? I don't know, I don't know.
I wish I did, I'm sorry, I do! But I really don't remember, I don't remember.
So let's just take it from the top, okay? Okay, okay.
UhOkay, it's just uh Des! I uh I'd like a minute with my client, please.
Alone? Think.
Hard.
Have a seat.
What's going on? I need to show you something.
Caine's convenience on Duckworth, 2 hours ago.
Is that Des? Wait, is he wearing a S.
C.
U.
B.
A.
mask? It gets worse.
What the hell is he doing? Armed robbery by the looks of it.
That's not Des.
It can't be.
It is, Jake.
I'm sorry, but Des is in big trouble.
I I think I was, uh I think I w I think I was skateboarding.
I remember being on my skateboard.
Where? D wha? Uh, I dunno.
Downtown, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno.
Uh, okay.
What then? I got nothin'.
I got nothin'.
Nothin'.
H-honestly, boys, it's like somebody erased my brain cells.
Like I wan I wanna, I wanna find out, I want to get there, but I can't.
Are you drunk? No.
I don't think.
You are in a lot of trouble.
Honestly.
I am trying to help you, so you have to think.
Think you can do that? Okay.
Think! H w-wait wait wait! Men! Men! Naked men! A bunch of naked men, everywhere! What? Hey, don't judge.
No, no, no, I remember something about a naked guy, a bunch of naked guys.
Does, oh Does that make any sense? "I'se the guys"? What? "I'se the guys"! It's a male strip club.
I was at a male strip club? I dunno, you tell us! Ooh I'm sorry, Jake, but Des, we're gonna have to process ya.
What? No! N-n-n-n-no, n-n-n-n-no! Jake, you gotta get me outta here! No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Whatever I did, whatever I did I'm sorry! Hey, take it easy! It's not good, but that video footage is a slam dunk for the crown.
Maybe he remembers fine, maybe he's just not talking.
They'll eat 'em alive in jail, Leslie.
Can you keep him here at the station in holding? As a favour, to me? As long as I can.
I'll keep you at the station as long as I can.
Good luck.
I'm sorry, but for what it's worth, I'll do anything I can to help, okay? Okay.
He must be drunk.
I mean, he can barely stand up.
Missus is giving him a bit of a pounding.
This is so weird.
It does not feel like Des.
No, it doesn't.
Hey, who's that guy? That's a customer.
Could be a witness? Yeah, but he took off right away.
He didn't even make a statement.
So what do we do now? We've got 24 hours before they ship Des to the real pen.
We've gotta help him! Poppy? Jake? Oh my God! We gotta call his family and let them know what happened! Does he have a family? Has anyone ever met Des' parents? His friends? Do we even know where the guy lives? Kinda figured he lived at our house.
Oh, hold on a sec, guys.
He gave me an address when he filled out his t4.
Isn't this strange? We've been working with him all this time and we don't know anything about him.
We really don't know anything about the boy.
Poor little guy.
Do we have any leads? Well, just one.
I actually think you're gonna really enjoy getting into it.
So, do you recognise him? Oh yeah, he was here.
Cute little guy, wearin' a S.
C.
U.
B.
A.
mask.
You didn't find that odd? Well, no.
It's not the first time I've seen something like that here.
Anyway, he comes in here and he gets his picture taken with one of the guys, and then he pulls out a gun.
Starts waving it around.
Tries to rob the place.
So what, you hit him then? Gave 'em the black eye? Hit him? No.
I didn't hit anybody.
He hit himself, with the gun! And you didn't call the police? Our customers are not the type that really enjoy having the cops around, you know? So then what happened? He hit himself, went down, and then a guy comes in and just drags him outta here.
Don't suppose you could give us a description of this other guy? Young? Normal-looking I guess? I don't know.
All the guys that come in here start to look the same to me, y'know? All right Lance, listen.
If you think of anything else, you let me know, all right? Thanks, man.
But Jake, listen.
Remind Walter that he still owes us $400 from that Christmas party.
Absolutely.
It's a long story.
Sure.
So Des had a friend with him? That's news.
So what, he and his friend are on the town, they get a little wild Waving guns around.
They get thrown outta the bar, and look what's directly across the street.
It's a convenience store.
That Des tried to rob.
Am I supposed to be impressed by this? Hey! Hey, you came to see me! Are you okay? Y-yeah, yeah, I guess.
Look at me.
What happened? I swear, Tinny, I haven't got a clue.
Are you on something? Did you take something last night? No, no, I swear.
I-I don't even like cold pills.
They make my teeth itchy.
You had a gun, Des.
Where'd you get it? Who were you with? You're hiding something.
What is it you're not telling here? Nothing.
I'm not.
I'm nothing.
I-I swear.
I looked it up.
You could get 10 years for this! This could ruin your entire life! Well, no, no, no.
That won't happen, because the charges will never stick.
They have you on tape.
It could be a fake, could be a fake.
It could be Photoshop.
My head on someone else's body.
That'll never hold up in court.
I'm killing myself, I'm killing myself, I keep I keep trying to remember what Could've happened, w-what I what I did, and if I did it and I got nothin'.
I got nothin', it's just it's just a blank.
Well, you better get it un-blanked or we're in big trouble here! I just keep thinking that maybe I did it because Because I liked it.
Like, what if I do it again? I mean maybe, it's in my blood.
Maybe, I'm a criminal mastermind.
Yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about that.
Give me your hand.
What? Hug me.
What? Just, give me a hug.
What're you doing? What're you what're you doing? Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow! Ow! No needles no needles no needles! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Des, you're not gonna last 2 minutes in the real jail! Second he walked in the store I could tell he was trouble.
I mean, I had a customer in here.
He didn't care.
He just waltzes on in.
Was there anyone else with him, like a friend maybe? No, he was by himself, and he was as high as a kite.
Anyway, soon as he pulls out the gun, I press the button, 911.
Then what happened? "Cops are on the way," I tell him.
Then he starts falling all over the chip rack, so I, uh Hit 'em with the broom.
Then he went outside? Yeah, except the van, it took off.
It left him standing there on the sidewalk.
What van? The getaway van? I know.
Some friend, right? So, your buddy, he dodges across the street and he jumps into this blue muscle car, takes off just as the cops arrive.
There's a big chase.
Totally cool! Whole time that guy, he never took off his s.
C.
U.
B.
A.
Mask! Not once! Madness.
All right.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks, Shirley.
No trouble.
It's just so great to see you.
I mean in person.
Not just talking on the phone.
It's nice.
It's true.
I can't help but think maybe we made a a wrong move somewhere.
Maybe I made the wrong move.
So Des had a friend with him, goes into the store, but he takes off before Des finishes the job? So, we got to find this "friend.
" Hey.
Who's that with your lady lawyer friend? I dunno.
I'll meet ya upstairs.
Just give me a minute, Simon, okay? I'll be right back.
Hey.
Hi.
Everything okay? Yeah, everything's fine.
Who's dapper Dan over there? Just, uh, something I need to sort out.
Look, I didn't think that you were gonna be here.
I'm sorry.
I should've told you.
I just Relax.
It's fine.
That doesn't sound good.
Look, it's none of your bus it's just personal to me, and I can handle it.
I just I need a little bit of time, okay? Okay.
I heard about Des.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, um did you get a chance to see that surveillance tape? Yeah.
There has to be an explanation for all of this.
I gotta go.
Okay, I'll see you tonight? So according to Des, he was skateboarding.
Somewhere.
Yeah, and then he turns up at the male strip club.
Along the way he picks up a friend, a van, a s.
C.
U.
B.
A.
Mask, a snorkel, and a gun.
So, bit of a gap there.
Him and his friend, right? They go to the male strip club for a good time, they get thrown out, then they go across the street to the corner store where um, the menacing store clerk kicks Des' ass.
And then unknown friend panics, takes off in the van.
Leaving Des to escape in my car.
None of this makes sense.
Uncle Jake, can I talk to you for a sec? Yeah.
I did a drug test on Des.
You did a what? My friend works at the lab, it's not important.
The point is, she found ketamine in his blood.
Ketamine? What's ketamine? "Special k.
" It's a street drug.
A lot of kids are doing it these days.
What, you think Des is on drugs? I gotta say, it doesn't add up, but who knows? Crap.
Maybe Maybe we have no idea who Des is.
Hey guys.
I don't quite know how to say this, but, um Des' address is bogus.
Bogus? What do you mean? I just went there.
It's deserted and boarded up like no one's lived there in years.
Not only that, his health card number, his driver's licence and his social insurance number are all fake.
What? I can't find Des Courtney anywhere.
Is "Des Courtney" his real name? Des Courtney doesn't exist.
What is this? Your blood work.
Tested positive for ketamine.
You on drugs, Des? No, no.
Jake, I swear to God, I hadn't, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Where do you live? Hmm? Where's your house? Where's your family? We know that your real name is not Des Courtney.
You've been lying to us.
I thought you were my family.
And now, it doesn't It doesn't even it doesn't matter what I say, because you don't believe me anyway.
I don't know, I don't know how any of this happened.
All right.
Let's just start at the beginning, all right? And uh, focus on what we know.
We know that you went to a strip club.
A male Strip club, for the record.
We know that you had a friend with you, and that friend had a van.
A friend w a friend who? An arse one apparently, because he bailed on you as soon as you started to rip off the convenience store.
Any ideas who it could be? No! Jake, I'm telling you the truth about everything.
I swear to God I am! You have to believe me, okay? You have to! Wait I think wait, wait, wait, wait, I think I remember a a kid.
There was a kid! There was a guy! I was there was a guy, I was uh, I was taking a I was taking a, uh, a video of him on my phone.
He was doing some mad boarding! He uh Jake.
Yeah.
Stay here.
Where else am I going to? Okay.
Marco is letting us have a look at this.
Yeah, thanks.
This is everything Des had on him at the time of his arrest.
We need to look for his I.
D.
, his cell phone.
Switchblade I used to have one of those.
Coupon for a free facial? Please.
Find.
The cell phone.
S.
C.
U.
B.
A.
mask, snorkel Walter! There's a hole.
I think I feel the phone in the lining.
Distract him.
What? Distract him.
Uh, hey.
Hey, Marco.
Uh, th-thank-thanks a lot for for letting us, uh, for letting us do this.
You know, he's he's a good kid.
It's obviously some kind of colossal mistake.
Walter! Yeah? We're good.
There's nothing here, man.
Really well filed, though.
Thanks a lot.
Yeah.
Whatever.
You're gonna get me disbarred, you know that? I'm an officer of the court! It's got some kind of password.
Here, give it to me.
Special k, also known as horse.
It's a new club drug, bigger than e.
It's injected, snorted, swallowed, smoked.
What're the symptoms? Oh gosh, whole grab bag.
Disassociation, impaired motor function Memory loss? Yes, but not only that.
It's not only a street drug, it's actually a legitimate tranquilizer used mostly on animals.
Really? Yeah.
That's how they're getting it.
They're robbing veterinary clinics.
So Des' buddies are robbing vets at gun point? Well let's check in all the vets in town, see if they were held up by a guy in a s.
C.
U.
B.
A.
Mask.
Yeah.
Tinny, are you okay, honey? I feel like I'm missing something.
Like we all are.
Any ideas about this phone? I just need a password.
Try "Tinny.
" That worked, actually.
Here, give it here.
Okay, l right.
Here we go.
I'm sensing a theme? There he is.
He's boarding.
Is there a time stamp? Uh, yeah, yeah.
It's last night, all before the robbery.
I'll get yo, 'kay? You show me how to do that, man.
Freeze it.
Right there.
Look at that guy.
Nice guy, normal looking What is that behind him? It's the getaway van.
All right, let's go.
Rose, email me that photo, print it off or something.
The bail hearing is set for this afternoon.
So you think they're gonna let him go? Depends on the crown.
If she wants to keep him in custody, she can.
Are you okay, Jake? I'm worried about ya.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Don't worry about me, just worry about Des, all right? Look, I know I know this is weird, and it's none of my business, but Allison, she's really pushing ahead with this indictment.
Yeah.
Sorry.
It's okay, take it.
I'll keep you posted, okay? Call me? Allison.
What the hell are you trying to do to me here? I could pacify a law onto a colleague.
Would that be better? Oh, that depends.
Would your colleague be more sympathetic, maybe? No, he wouldn't.
Trust me.
Your little friend was caught, on tape, robbing a store, with a gun in his hand.
You've got to let Let you? Let you do what, exactly? Allison, is there something going on with you? Or Allison? 'Kay, I gotta go, Jake.
Um, I'll keep you up to speed on the file, but I gotta do what I gotta do here, okay? I'm sorry.
This is the address? Yep.
Weird, huh? Huh! Check it out! Here.
Careful, careful.
Help me move this and we'll go in.
Oh my God! Hello? Anybody home? Oh my God, Des has been living here? Oh, I hope not.
Oh, Tinny, look.
It says "Des Courtney.
" So, yeah.
He is living here.
Rose, c'mere.
What'd ya got? These are from the '90s.
"Jody Redmond.
" Do you know who that is? Yeah, yeah.
He was a famous bank robber.
He pulled off a bunch of heists.
Think he got like, 15 years? Well, what is Des doing with all of this? It looks like he's obsessed with this case.
How many vet clinics are there in St.
John's, anyway? At least a dozen, and I've checked 'em all out.
This is the last one.
Dad, check it out.
He look like our guy to you? Looks like Des' friend, yeah.
He's a janitor at a vet clinic? That's one way that I'd guarantee a steady supply of ketamine.
Hey, buddy! Nice toque.
Just hang on! I just wanna talk to you! [Rose.]
Oh, I hope not.
Zach Douglas.
I know that guy.
I went to high school with him.
[sighing.]
When was the last time that you saw him? [Rose.]
Oh, Tinny, look.
It says "Des Courtney.
" So, yeah.
He is living here.
Ages ago.
Last year maybe? [Tinny.]
Rose, c'mere.
I always used to help him with his homework and stuff.
[Rose.]
What'd ya got? How nice of you.
Now, this one was taken yesterday on [Tinny.]
These are from the '90s.
your cell phone while you were skateboarding.
"Jody Redmond.
" Do you know who that is? Oh, that's right.
It was him.
No, no, no, I just [Rose.]
Yeah, yeah.
He was a famous bank robber.
He pulled remembered! I-I remember him now.
off a bunch of heists.
Think he got like, 15 years? I can't believe this, Des.
I mean I can't believe that [Tinny.]
Well, what is Des doing with all of this? It looks like you're into this, you know? he's obsessed with this case.
You're doing drugs? [Jake.]
How many vet clinics are there in St.
John's, anyway? You're-you're-you're ripping off convenience stores? [Mal.]
At least a dozen, and I've checked 'em all out.
This is the last one.
No I'm not! No I'm not! [Jake.]
Dad, check it out.
He look like our guy to you? Look, Zach, he He was always taking advantage of me, and I [Mal.]
Looks like Des' friend, yeah.
haven't seen him in ages, but yesterday, I guess, he look, [Jake.]
He's a janitor at a vet clinic? That's one way that I'd Jake, this isn't me.
This is not me.
You know me.
guarantee a steady supply of ketamine.
Hey, buddy! Nice No, I don't.
Not really, Des.
I don't really know you at all.
toque.
Just hang on! I just wanna talk to you! What? [car horn beeping.]
When Tinny took your blood, where'd she get you with the needle? [Des.]
Zach Douglas.
I know that guy.
I went to high school with him.
Wha? [Jake.]
When was the last time that you saw him? Where's the needle prick from when Tinny stabbed you? [Des.]
Ages ago.
Last year maybe? Oh, oh, it's right there.
I always used to help him with his homework and stuff.
Ow! I told you, I don't do drugs either.
[Jake.]
How nice of you.
Now, this one was taken yesterday on I'm actually starting to believe you.
your cell phone while you were skateboarding.
Ow! You do? Ow! Ow! What is it? [Des.]
Oh, that's right.
It was him.
No, no, no, I just It's a needle mark.
I don't know many people who shoot remembered! I-I remember him now.
up in the back of their neck.
[Jake.]
I can't believe this, Des.
I mean I can't believe that Even people as stupid as you.
you're into this, you know? S-someone stabbed me? You're doing drugs? Someone drugged me.
Someone drug oh, thank God.
First You're-you're-you're ripping off convenience stores? wait, someone stabbed me? Does it look bad? [Des.]
No I'm not! No I'm not! Look at this picture.
Look, Zach, he He was always taking advantage of me, and I Where do you think you could be? haven't seen him in ages, but yesterday, I guess, he look, Do you see anything you recognise? Do you know where it is? Jake, this isn't me.
This is not me.
You know me.
Uh, I dunno.
Um Concentrate! [Jake.]
No, I don't.
Not really, Des.
I don't really know you at all.
The war memorial.
The war memorial downtown, I remember! [Des.]
What? It's the war memorial! [Jake.]
When Tinny took your blood, where'd she get you with the needle? Sweet.
Nice Ollie, man.
[Des.]
Wha? Zach! Douglas! Remember us? [Jake.]
Where's the needle prick from when Tinny stabbed you? Are you cops or what? [Des.]
Oh, oh, it's right there.
Why? You got something you gotta hide? Ow! I told you, I don't do drugs either.
No.
Okay, back off, man! [Jake.]
I'm actually starting to believe you.
I believe we have a mutual friend.
Des Courtney.
[Des.]
Ow! You do? Ow! Ow! What is it? Never heard of him.
[Jake.]
It's a needle mark.
I don't know many people who shoot Liar! up in the back of their neck.
Man, chill! All right? Even people as stupid as you.
You got no right! [Des.]
S-someone stabbed me? Rights? Today is not the day to be talking to me about rights, pal! Someone drugged me.
Someone drug oh, thank God.
First Jake! wait, someone stabbed me? Does it look bad? Ow! [Jake.]
Look at this picture.
What're you doin'? Where do you think you could be? You know what? This'll go a lot easier if you're straight with us! Do you see anything you recognise? Do you know where it is? Ow! I am, man! I am! [Des.]
Uh, I dunno.
Um [Jake.]
Concentrate! Jake! [Des.]
The war memorial.
The war memorial downtown, I remember! Oh yeah? You are? You are, huh? You think I'm foolin' It's the war memorial! around, huh? You think I'm foolin' around?! [Skater.]
Sweet.
Nice Ollie, man.
Here, kid, just wait a minute.
C'mere! [Jake.]
Zach! Douglas! Remember us? Dad! Dad! Just let him go.
[Zach.]
Are you cops or what? What's the matter with you? [Jake.]
Why? You got something you gotta hide? What? Oh! I planted a G.
P.
S.
in his knapsack.
[Zach.]
No.
Okay, back off, man! Oh, good.
I thought you were losing it there.
[Mal.]
I believe we have a mutual friend.
Des Courtney.
No, no.
C'mon, let's follow 'em.
[Zach.]
Never heard of him.
Okay.
[Jake.]
Liar! Heads up.
[Zach.]
Man, chill! All right? Interesting.
You got no right! I recognise that face from somewhere.
I just don't [Jake.]
Rights? Today is not the day to be talking to me about rights, pal! know where.
Look, I knew I recognised this guy.
He was in [Mal.]
Jake! the convenience store with Des.
[Zach.]
Ow! Yep, it's Anton Strazza.
[Mal.]
What're you doin'? He's a successful businessman, runs and import-export firm here in town.
[crowd gasping.]
Criminal record? [Jake.]
You know what? This'll go a lot easier if you're straight with us! No, nothing like that, and absolutely no connection [Zach.]
Ow! I am, man! I am! between him and the skateboard kid, Zach.
[Mal.]
Jake! So, what? He just happens to be in the corner store when [Jake.]
Oh yeah? You are? You are, huh? You think I'm foolin' Des is robbing it? And Zach just happens to run to him as soon as around, huh? You think I'm foolin' around?! we put on the heat? Why? You think this guy's behind the [crowd yelling.]
whole thing? He drugs Des, and then he's at the store to watch [Mal.]
Here, kid, just wait a minute.
C'mere! the whole fiasco go down? [Jake.]
Dad! Dad! Just let him go.
And then he jumps into the getaway van? [Mal.]
What's the matter with you? That doesn't make any sense.
What're you gonna get [Jake.]
What? Oh! I planted a G.
P.
S.
in his knapsack.
from a convenience store till? [Mal.]
Oh, good.
I thought you were losing it there.
Couple hundred bucks? [Jake.]
No, no.
C'mon, let's follow 'em.
That's nothing to a guy like him.
[Mal.]
Okay.
What'd you say his name was again? [Jake.]
Heads up.
Anton Strazza? [Mal.]
Interesting.
Strazza, Strazza, Strazza.
Strazza, Strazza, Strazza look at this.
[Jake.]
I recognise that face from somewhere.
I just don't "Veiled Madonna.
" know where.
Look, I knew I recognised this guy.
He was in The Veiled Madonna is going on tour tomorrow.
And the the convenience store with Des.
name of the sculptor is Strazza? [Rose.]
Yep, it's Anton Strazza.
"19th century Italian sculptor, Giovanni Strazza.
" He's a successful businessman, runs and import-export firm here in town.
Letter to the editor from last year from Anton Strazza: [Mal.]
Criminal record? "The Veiled Madonna was stolen from my family.
It is [Rose.]
No, nothing like that, and absolutely no connection preposterous that our property has not been returned.
It is my between him and the skateboard kid, Zach.
birth right.
This province will pay.
" This guy's a total wingnut! [Jake.]
So, what? He just happens to be in the corner store when They keep the Madonna at the basilica! Des is robbing it? And Zach just happens to run to him as soon as Uncle Jake, armed robbery's a big deal, right? So we put on the heat? Why? You think this guy's behind the when Des held up the corner store, every police car in the whole thing? He drugs Des, and then he's at the store to watch vicinity would've responded.
the whole fiasco go down? That's right.
[Mal.]
And then he jumps into the getaway van? All right.
The convenience store is here, the [Jake.]
That doesn't make any sense.
What're you gonna get police station's out here If Des rips off the from a convenience store till? convenience store, every cop is gonna show up.
Then they get in Couple hundred bucks? a high-speed chase which takes them way the frig out there somewhere [Mal.]
That's nothing to a guy like him.
Even further away.
[Jake.]
What'd you say his name was again? Right.
Desmond wasn't supposed to succeed.
[Mal.]
Anton Strazza? He was just supposed to make a scene! [Jake.]
Strazza, Strazza, Strazza.
Strazza, Strazza, Strazza look at this.
The whole thing was a diversion while Anton Strazza is [Mal.]
"Veiled Madonna.
" stealing the Veiled Madonna from the basilica, here.
[Jake.]
The Veiled Madonna is going on tour tomorrow.
And the It happened just before dawn.
name of the sculptor is [Mal.]
Strazza? While you guys were all chasing Des in my car.
[Jake.]
"19th century Italian sculptor, Giovanni Strazza.
" The alarm went off and yes, we responded, but when we got here [Rose.]
Letter to the editor from last year from Anton Strazza: The Veiled Madonna was gone.
"The Veiled Madonna was stolen from my family.
It is Strazza gained himself enough time to get away.
preposterous that our property has not been returned.
It is my And all it cost was birth right.
This province will pay.
" This guy's a total wingnut! Okay, the whole thing was a setup.
All right? First, they [Mal.]
They keep the Madonna at the basilica! drugged Des, and then they somehow convince him to rip off [Tinny.]
Uncle Jake, armed robbery's a big deal, right? So the convenience store.
I'm telling you he's innocent.
when Des held up the corner store, every police car in the All so they could steal the Madonna? vicinity would've responded.
Des is the easiest mark I've ever met, all right? You [Jake.]
That's right.
ask him nicely and he'll pretty much do anything for ya.
It's [Tinny.]
All right.
The convenience store is here, the all about timing, Leslie.
You think it's a coincidence that police station's out here [Jake.]
If Des rips off the every cruiser in town just happens to be chasing Des while convenience store, every cop is gonna show up.
Then they get in some moron is ripping off the Veiled Madonna? a high-speed chase which takes them way the frig out there somewhere Look, even if I did believe you, it wouldn't do any [Mal.]
Even further away.
good.
Okay? The crown is hardly gonna drop the charges on Des [Rose.]
Right.
Desmond wasn't supposed to succeed.
because somebody else stole a statue.
[Tinny.]
He was just supposed to make a scene! "Anton Strazza.
" Pick him up and talk to him.
You won't regret it.
[Jake.]
The whole thing was a diversion while Anton Strazza is Where have I heard that before? stealing the Veiled Madonna from the basilica, here.
What time is it? Look, I'm late for the bail hearing.
[church bells ringing.]
Just talk to Strazza.
[Leslie.]
It happened just before dawn.
Redmond Jody Redmond.
[Jake.]
While you guys were all chasing Des in my car.
So? What happened? [Leslie.]
The alarm went off and yes, we responded, but when we got here We lost.
Crown opposed bail.
[Jake.]
The Veiled Madonna was gone.
When you say the crown, do you mean [Mal.]
Strazza gained himself enough time to get away.
Oh yeah! Yeah, it was Allison.
[Jake.]
And all it cost was We never had a chance.
[Jake.]
Okay, the whole thing was a setup.
All right? First, they I gotta tell ya, boys, it's not looking good.
drugged Des, and then they somehow convince him to rip off Nice girl you got there.
the convenience store.
I'm telling you he's innocent.
She's doing her job, okay? Just leave it.
[Leslie.]
All so they could steal the Madonna? Do you guys have anything? [Jake.]
Des is the easiest mark I've ever met, all right? You We got a lead, couple leads maybe.
That's it.
ask him nicely and he'll pretty much do anything for ya.
It's Good.
Cause I'm gonna need something to base a case on.
I gotta run.
all about timing, Leslie.
You think it's a coincidence that Now what? every cruiser in town just happens to be chasing Des while Get a better lawyer? some moron is ripping off the Veiled Madonna? I'll check out the Zach kid.
[Leslie.]
Look, even if I did believe you, it wouldn't do any Gimme a second, all right? good.
Okay? The crown is hardly gonna drop the charges on Des What? because somebody else stole a statue.
Allison! Well I guess, uh, congratulations are in order? [pen clicking.]
Jake.
Hi.
[Jake.]
"Anton Strazza.
" Pick him up and talk to him.
You won't regret it.
How are you? How's your, uh, friend.
What's his name? [Leslie.]
Where have I heard that before? Simon? He's my husband.
[Jake.]
What time is it? Look, I'm late for the bail hearing.
Really? Just talk to Strazza.
Jake, we're finishing up our divorce, and it's a train [Rose.]
Redmond Jody Redmond.
wreck, and I would really appreciate it if you would just [Jake.]
So? What happened? stay out of it, okay? Let me sort out my life.
[Walter.]
We lost.
Crown opposed bail.
Fine.
[Jake.]
When you say the crown, do you mean Thanks.
[Walter.]
Oh yeah! Yeah, it was Allison.
On one condition.
You keep Des out of her majesty's We never had a chance.
pen.
I dunno what your beef is with him, but I can tell you he I gotta tell ya, boys, it's not looking good.
is a good guy.
All right? He's actually a little bit of a [Mal.]
Nice girl you got there.
sweetheart, so just give me a break, here.
[Jake.]
She's doing her job, okay? Just leave it.
I'll see what I can do.
[Walter.]
Do you guys have anything? So a diversion.
That sounds good.
[Jake.]
We got a lead, couple leads maybe.
That's it.
It was all a setup, which means it wasn't your [Walter.]
Good.
Cause I'm gonna need something to base a case on.
I gotta run.
fault.
We just gotta prove it.
[Mal.]
Now what? So, anything else you can remember I know, I'm trying.
But [Jake.]
Get a better lawyer? y but you have the drug test, right? [Mal.]
I'll check out the Zach kid.
It's not enough, Des.
[Jake.]
Gimme a second, all right? Is Jake pissed at me? [Mal.]
What? No! He's trying to help you.
[Jake.]
Allison! Well I guess, uh, congratulations are in order? I feel like I let him down.
[Allison.]
Jake.
Hi.
Don't be stupid.
[Jake.]
How are you? How's your, uh, friend.
What's his name? I hate it in here.
It totally bites.
[Allison.]
Simon? He's my husband.
Des, me and Rose We went to your place.
[Jake.]
Really? What? You went to my place? M-my house? Why? [Allison.]
Jake, we're finishing up our divorce, and it's a train Why have you been lying to us? Your real name? It's made wreck, and I would really appreciate it if you would just up! Everything's made up! And what's up with that bank robber stay out of it, okay? Let me sort out my life.
guy? That case? Why're you so obsessed with it? [Jake.]
Fine.
Tinny! That's none of your business! Why did you go there? [Allison.]
Thanks.
I-I don't want you to see that! [Jake.]
On one condition.
You keep Des out of her majesty's I don't want you to be there! pen.
I dunno what your beef is with him, but I can tell you he Hey, calm down! is a good guy.
All right? He's actually a little bit of a Oh my God, oh God, everything's fallin' apart! sweetheart, so just give me a break, here.
Des! Hey! Hey.
[Allison.]
I'll see what I can do.
You're okay.
[Des.]
So a diversion.
That sounds good.
Can I tell people you did that? [Tinny.]
It was all a setup, which means it wasn't your No.
fault.
We just gotta prove it.
Okay.
Who'd I tell anyway? So, anything else you can remember [Des.]
I know, I'm trying.
But Just a guard, maybe? y but you have the drug test, right? Des! [sighing.]
Okay, I won't tell anyone.
[Tinny.]
It's not enough, Des.
The Veiled Madonna's gone? And you think that I? [Des.]
Is Jake pissed at me? Don't be absurd! I've never stolen anything in my life! [Tinny.]
No! He's trying to help you.
That's a fact! A-a-a-and-and I've never heard of this [Des.]
I feel like I let him down.
person w-w-what's his name? [Tinny.]
Don't be stupid.
Des.
[Des.]
I hate it in here.
It totally bites.
Des, Des.
I've never heard of him.
[Tinny.]
Des, me and Rose We went to your place.
Oh, really? Mr.
Strazza [Des.]
What? You went to my place? M-my house? Why? Oh, it's pronounced "Strat-za.
" [Tinny.]
Why have you been lying to us? Your real name? It's made Okay, Mr.
"Strat-za.
" up! Everything's made up! And what's up with that bank robber Can you account for your whereabouts last night? guy? That case? Why're you so obsessed with it? Ha! Yes.
[Des.]
Tinny! That's none of your business! Why did you go there? Actually, I was having a glass of port in my local watering I-I don't want you to see that! hole.
I can give you the names of at least a dozen people who saw me there.
I don't want you to be there! Oh, in exchange for what? Next round's on you? [Tinny.]
Hey, calm down! You're quite taken with the Madonna, are you not? [Des.]
Oh my God, oh God, everything's fallin' apart! Meaning what, exactly? [Tinny.]
Des! Hey! Hey.
You're obsessed with this statue.
You claim to be You're okay.
descended from the artist.
On several occasions in the media, [Des.]
Can I tell people you did that? you've said it rightly belongs to you.
[Tinny.]
No.
Yes! Yes, yes, I-I believe we have a legitimate [Des.]
Okay.
Who'd I tell anyway? claim to the statue, and a passion for it.
But would I Just a guard, maybe? steal it? Please.
Look, do I need to speak to a lawyer? [Tinny.]
Des! I don't know.
Do ya? [Des.]
Okay, I won't tell anyone.
I mean, am I being detained? Hmm, okay, then I [Strazza.]
The Veiled Madonna's gone? And you think that I? guess I'm free to go? Goodbye, sergeant.
It's been a pleasure.
Don't be absurd! I've never stolen anything in my life! Perhaps you could show me out? That's a fact! A-a-a-and-and I've never heard of this That might take some time, Mr.
Strazza.
person w-w-what's his name? "Strat-za.
" [Leslie.]
Des.
Uh, well excuse me.
[Strazza.]
Des, Des.
I've never heard of him.
I'll just be a minute.
[Leslie.]
Oh, really? Mr.
Strazza He's lying.
[Strazza.]
Oh, it's pronounced "Strat-za.
" Maybe, but there's nothing I can do about it.
If [Leslie.]
Okay, Mr.
"Strat-za.
" he's a thief he's a good one.
He left no tracks, Jake.
Can you account for your whereabouts last night? We should search his house.
[Strazza.]
Ha! Yes.
Tell me how we're gonna get a warrant for that one? Actually, I was having a glass of port in my local watering Look, Des is running out of time, all right? hole.
I can give you the names of at least a dozen people who saw me there.
He gets deeper every minute.
[Leslie.]
Oh, in exchange for what? Next round's on you? The crown? Allison? You're quite taken with the Madonna, are you not? She's uppin' the charges.
[Strazza.]
Meaning what, exactly? Aggravated assault.
[Leslie.]
You're obsessed with this statue.
You claim to be He smacked himself in the fa who did he assault? descended from the artist.
On several occasions in the media, He held up a store at gunpoint, Jake! I don't know you've said it rightly belongs to you.
what to tell ya! Your girlfriend's not wasting any time.
Sorry.
[Strazza.]
Yes! Yes, yes, I-I believe we have a legitimate Hi.
Uh, Jody Redmond? Hi, I'm Rose Doyle.
claim to the statue, and a passion for it.
But would I It's a big day for me! I don't get a lot of visitors.
steal it? Please.
Look, do I need to speak to a lawyer? Oh, these are for you.
[Leslie.]
I don't know.
Do ya? Some magazines.
I wasn't sure what you'd like.
[Strazza.]
I mean, am I being detained? Hmm, okay, then I Oh, that's very kind of you.
Thank you.
guess I'm free to go? Goodbye, sergeant.
It's been a pleasure.
My ex did 15 years, so I You got my email? Perhaps you could show me out? You want to see the pictures.
[Leslie.]
That might take some time, Mr.
Strazza.
I know it's an odd request and I'd rather not tell [Strazza.]
"Strat-za.
" you right now, if that's okay? [Leslie.]
Uh, well excuse me.
Well, like I said, I'm Happy to show.
So, I get one I'll just be a minute.
every year.
Ha! Only time hear from him.
Just once a year.
[Jake.]
He's lying.
Last time I saw him, he He was 6 years old.
I mean, that's, [Leslie.]
Maybe, but there's nothing I can do about it.
If uh that's my son.
he's a thief he's a good one.
He left no tracks, Jake.
Must be riveting stuff.
[Jake.]
We should search his house.
This case I got.
Des Courtney.
[Leslie.]
Tell me how we're gonna get a warrant for that one? Oh, that.
The Doyle kid.
[Jake.]
Look, Des is running out of time, all right? Technically he's not a Doyle but he might as well be.
He gets deeper every minute.
He's a good kid, y'know? He's got character.
[Leslie.]
The crown? Allison? Yeah.
Yeah, he robbed a corner store at gunpoint, but She's uppin' the charges.
Yeah, I know, but he "But?" Really? Aggravated assault.
There's a "but?" Leslie, the law is the law, y'know? The city's [Jake.]
He smacked himself in the fa who did he assault? turning into Gotham overnight.
[Leslie.]
He held up a store at gunpoint, Jake! I don't know Can't go around making exceptions for everybody.
Even uh, Jake Doyle.
what to tell ya! Your girlfriend's not wasting any time.
Sorry.
All right, so we wait until it gets a little darker.
[door unlocking.]
Until he's asleep.
[Rose.]
Hi.
Uh, Jody Redmond? Hi, I'm Rose Doyle.
Right, and then we, uh Enter the house about here.
[Jody.]
It's a big day for me! I don't get a lot of visitors.
Apparently he likes to nap in here.
[Rose.]
Oh, these are for you.
The alarm? Some magazines.
I wasn't sure what you'd like.
The alarm panel is situated right there.
[Jody.]
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Thank you.
Right there? [Mal.]
My ex did 15 years, so I You got my email? What? [Jody.]
You want to see the pictures.
I dunno.
Are we really gonna break into this guy's house? [Rose.]
I know it's an odd request and I'd rather not tell Do we have any choice in the matter? you right now, if that's okay? We're doing this for kid.
We don't even know his real [Jody.]
Well, like I said, I'm Happy to show.
So, I get one name.
In fact, we don't know anything about this guy.
every year.
Ha! Only time hear from him.
Just once a year.
I think we know everything we need to know about Des.
Last time I saw him, he He was 6 years old.
I mean, that's, Doesn't matter what anyone says.
uh that's my son.
He's a good kid, I'm sure of it.
[Mayor Clarke.]
Must be riveting stuff.
And so are you.
[Leslie.]
This case I got.
Des Courtney.
All right, all right, all right.
Let's do it.
[Mayor Clarke.]
Oh, that.
The Doyle kid.
Let's do it.
[Leslie.]
Technically he's not a Doyle but he might as well be.
It's a nice place.
He's a good kid, y'know? He's got character.
I've seen nicer.
[Mayor Clarke.]
Yeah.
Yeah, he robbed a corner store at gunpoint, but You ready? [laughing.]
Yeah.
[Leslie.]
Yeah, I know, but he [Mayor Clarke.]
"But?" Really? Okay.
There's a "but?" Leslie, the law is the law, y'know? The city's Ah! turning into Gotham overnight.
Hey there! How you doin'? Can't go around making exceptions for everybody.
Even uh, Jake Doyle.
Beautiful evening! [Jake.]
All right, so we wait until it gets a little darker.
It is a beautiful evening.
[Mal.]
Until he's asleep.
Careful there, Mr.
Strazza.
[Jake.]
Right, and then we, uh Enter the house about here.
Uh, I think it's "Strat-za.
" Apparently he likes to nap in here.
Ah! Don't move! [Mal.]
The alarm? Oh! Those things have a hair trigger! [Jake.]
The alarm panel is situated right there.
You stay right where you are! The cops are on their way! [Mal.]
Right there? Are you kiddin' me, Jake? What? Leslie! So sorry that I had to get you out of your nice warm bed.
[Jake.]
I dunno.
Are we really gonna break into this guy's house? All these cars just for us? [Mal.]
Do we have any choice in the matter? I suppose you were lookin' for the Veiled Madonna? [Jake.]
We're doing this for kid.
We don't even know his real What're they still doing here? I want them locked up! Both of them! name.
In fact, we don't know anything about this guy.
Don't worry, pally.
This was all just a diversion.
[Mal.]
I think we know everything we need to know about Des.
What? Doesn't matter what anyone says.
A diversion.
Our people are stealing the Veiled Madonna as we speak.
He's a good kid, I'm sure of it.
Look at all the police cars.
And so are you.
I can't believe it worked.
[Jake.]
All right, all right, all right.
Let's do it.
Both of you, come with me now! [Mal.]
Let's do it.
It was nice meeting you! [Jake.]
[Whispering.]
it's a nice place.
You have a lovely house! [Mal.]
[Whispering.]
I've seen nicer.
Yeah, it's all right.
[music playing.]
What the hell was that? [Jake.]
You ready? Leslie, we need a favour.
[Mal.]
Yeah.
A favour? Is that so? [Jake.]
Okay.
Listen, Anton Strazza is in his car right now and he's [alarm blaring.]
about to drive away.
[Strazza.]
Ah! Leslie, you know I never ask you for anything.
Pretend [Jake.]
Hey there! How you doin'? Jake's not here.
Do this for me, please? [Mal.]
Beautiful evening! For Des.
Look, he's driving away and we have to [Jake.]
It is a beautiful evening.
follow him! Please, please, trust me.
Careful there, Mr.
Strazza.
God, I can't believe I'm doing this! [Mal.]
Uh, I think it's "Strat-za.
" Thank you.
[Strazza.]
Ah! Don't move! Are you gonna get me out of my cuffs? Put argh! I just [Mal.]
Oh! Those things have a hair trigger! need to get outta my cuffs.
[Strazza.]
You stay right where you are! The cops are on their way! Stop right there! [laughing.]
Well, what d'ya know? [Leslie.]
Are you kiddin' me, Jake? I'll take that.
Hello, girl.
[Jake.]
Leslie! So sorry that I had to get you out of your nice warm bed.
Careful there.
She's one of a kind.
[Mal.]
All these cars just for us? Mr.
Strazza, you're under arrest.
[Leslie.]
I suppose you were lookin' for the Veiled Madonna? You don't understand.
[Strazza.]
What're they still doing here? I want them locked up! Both of them! The statue belongs to me.
I was only taking back what was mine! [Jake.]
Don't worry, pally.
This was all just a diversion.
You didn't mind sending an innocent kid to jail in the [Strazza.]
What? process? Although she is kind of attractive.
I mean, beautiful.
[Jake.]
A diversion.
Our people are stealing the Veiled Madonna as we speak.
Well, make yourself at home.
I guess the, uh they [Mal.]
Look at all the police cars.
didn't throw you out with the regular riff-raff? [Jake.]
I can't believe it worked.
Yeah.
Knowing the owner has its perks, right? [Leslie.]
Both of you, come with me now! This for me? [Jake.]
It was nice meeting you! Yeah.
Good night? You have a lovely house! Could be worse.
[Mal.]
Yeah, it's all right.
Well, looks like Anton Strazza's talking.
We're [sirens blaring.]
dropping all charges against Des.
[Leslie.]
What the hell was that? Yeah, I heard.
Little confused why you're so hell-bent [Mal.]
Leslie, we need a favour.
on sending Des to jail, though, to be honest with you.
Felt a little personal.
[Leslie.]
A favour? Is that so? I wasn't.
There's a backlog of cases.
Everything is [Jake.]
Listen, Anton Strazza is in his car right now and he's rushed.
That's why I upped the charges to piss off the judge.
I about to drive away.
would re-file, they would re-schedule, and eventually it [Mal.]
Leslie, you know I never ask you for anything.
Pretend would've got kicked out, guaranteed.
Des would've ended Jake's not here.
Do this for me, please? up with community service.
[Jake.]
For Des.
Look, he's driving away and we have to Oh.
follow him! Please, please, trust me.
And I couldn't tell you.
Well, that was my plan, anyway.
[Leslie.]
God, I can't believe I'm doing this! Well, I feel like an idiot.
And, um I'm sorry.
[Mal.]
Thank you.
Simon showing up just kinda threw me for a curve ball, [Jake.]
Are you gonna get me out of my cuffs? Put argh! I just you know? I thought that things were done between me and him.
need to get outta my cuffs.
And are they? Tell you what.
Why don't we take a few [Leslie.]
Stop right there! days, take some space.
[Jake.]
Well, what d'ya know? "Space?" Okay.
I'll take that.
Hello, girl.
Allison, I'm not going anywhere.
[Mal.]
Careful there.
She's one of a kind.
Goodnight, Jake.
[Leslie.]
Mr.
Strazza, you're under arrest.
Oh, thanks guys! Oh! [Strazza.]
You don't understand.
Wicked! Y'know, I was thinking, I was thinking now that I've The statue belongs to me.
I was only taking back what was mine! actually done, like, some hard time, maybe I can, uh, get a [Jake.]
You didn't mind sending an innocent kid to jail in the little bit more action? process? Although she is kind of attractive.
I mean, beautiful.
Poppy? [Jake.]
Well, make yourself at home.
I guess the, uh they Just a small one for me.
didn't throw you out with the regular riff-raff? Oh, hey.
Make mine a double, would you? [Allison.]
Yeah.
Knowing the owner has its perks, right? You wish.
[Jake.]
This for me? A big a triple even.
[Allison.]
Yeah.
Good night? Hey, hey! There he is! [Jake.]
Could be worse.
What's u So, you've decided to join us? [Allison.]
Well, looks like Anton Strazza's talking.
We're What'll it be? dropping all charges against Des.
Eh, whatever's going.
[Jake.]
Yeah, I heard.
Little confused why you're so hell-bent Well here, take that.
on sending Des to jail, though, to be honest with you.
Felt a little personal.
Perfect.
Des, or whatever your real name is.
You know [Allison.]
I wasn't.
There's a backlog of cases.
Everything is what? I don't even care what your real name is.
rushed.
That's why I upped the charges to piss off the judge.
I Me neither.
would re-file, they would re-schedule, and eventually it I want you to move outta that house right away.
That's an order.
would've got kicked out, guaranteed.
Des would've ended Yes sir.
up with community service.
Oh lord.
That means he's gonna be movin' in with us.
[Jake.]
Oh.
Yep, cause he's definitely not living with me.
[Allison.]
And I couldn't tell you.
Well, that was my plan, anyway.
Why not? [Jake.]
Well, I feel like an idiot.
And, um I'm sorry.
I think I need a drink! [Allison.]
Simon showing up just kinda threw me for a curve ball, You're like the son I never had.
Welcome home, boy.
you know? I thought that things were done between me and him.
Yeah, come here.
[Jake.]
And are they? Tell you what.
Why don't we take a few What kind of toast is that? days, take some space.
Welcoming the kid home! [Allison.]
"Space?" Okay.
Whatever.
[Jake.]
Allison, I'm not going anywhere.
Your father says hello.
[Allison.]
Goodnight, Jake.
Jody Redmond.
[door closing.]
You talked to him? [Des.]
Oh, thanks guys! Oh! They don't know.
Wicked! Y'know, I was thinking, I was thinking now that I've I thought if you knew, then No.
It's okay, I get it.
actually done, like, some hard time, maybe I can, uh, get a In the jail cell, I just kept thinking.
I mean, what if little bit more action? it's, what if it's part of my genes? My D.
N.
A.
? I mean [laughing.]
No, that is not the case.
[Tinny.]
Poppy? I mean, what if it's my destiny or something like that? [Mal.]
Just a small one for me.
No, it is not.
We'll figure out your father thing.
[Des.]
Oh, hey.
Make mine a double, would you? We'll do it together.
Come here.
[Tinny.]
You wish.
Maybe it's time to go pay your father a little visit.
I'll go with you.
[Des.]
A big a triple even.
O-okay.
Hey, hey! There he is! Promise.
Let's get back in here.
What's u [Mal.]
So, you've decided to join us? Well, that was delicious! [Rose.]
What'll it be? [Jake.]
Eh, whatever's going.
[Rose.]
Well here, take that.
[Jake.]
Perfect.
Des, or whatever your real name is.
You know what? I don't even care what your real name is.
[Mal.]
Me neither.
[Jake.]
I want you to move outta that house right away.
That's an order.
[Des.]
Yes sir.
[Mal.]
Oh lord.
That means he's gonna be movin' in with us.
[Jake.]
Yep, cause he's definitely not living with me.
[Des.]
Why not? [Mal.]
I think I need a drink! [laughing.]
[Mal.]
You're like the son I never had.
Welcome home, boy.
[Rose.]
Yeah, come here.
[Jake.]
What kind of toast is that? [Mal.]
Welcoming the kid home! [Jake.]
Whatever.
[Rose.]
Your father says hello.
Jody Redmond.
[Des.]
You talked to him? [Rose.]
They don't know.
[Des.]
I thought if you knew, then [Rose.]
No.
It's okay, I get it.
[Des.]
In the jail cell, I just kept thinking.
I mean, what if it's, what if it's part of my genes? My D.
N.
A.
? I mean [Rose.]
No, that is not the case.
[Des.]
I mean, what if it's my destiny or something like that? [Rose.]
No, it is not.
We'll figure out your father thing.
We'll do it together.
Come here.
Maybe it's time to go pay your father a little visit.
I'll go with you.
[Des.]
O-okay.
[Rose.]
Promise.
Let's get back in here.
[sighing.]
[Rose.]
Well, that was delicious! [chattering.]

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