Sanjay and Craig (2013) s03e03 Episode Script
Boulder Rollers - Freaks and Geeks
1 - Looking for a pet one day Sanjay found a talking snake And the perfect match was made Jumped into his arms to say Sanjay and Craig - The stuff they get to is insane Sanjay and Craig - They're in the Best Friends Hall of Fame Sanjay and Craig - There is no Best Friends Hall of Fame They made it up! - Aww yes! Bye, guys! Bye! - See ya later, Hector-gator.
- We'll take good care of Sweet Cheeks for you.
- Oh, we know you will, players.
- Have a fun vacation.
Uh-oh.
- Hmm.
- We will, homies.
Flanagans, out! - We are such good persons for taking care of Hector's dog.
- Yep.
- Dude, why you nakey? - Getting comfy.
- We're just gonna feed Sweet Cheeks and go home.
It's easy.
- Those sound like famous last words to me.
- Yeah, yeah.
Let's just do this.
Eat up, little buddy.
- Uh-huh, but not too fast.
Dogs can twist their stomachs if they eat too fast.
- Really? - Yeah.
We got to keep this guy safe Because we're good persons.
- Well, we fed him.
Let's head home.
See you in the morning, Sweet Che - Uh-uh-uh.
Uh, I think we deserve a little reward for this dog care we're doling out over here, yeah? - Like what? - Grandma's famous tamales, yo! Andale! - Yeah.
They probably won't notice if we just take one.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
For real, though, we should stop touching their stuff.
- Oh, come on, man.
We got to poke around a little.
Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke.
- Okay, okay.
- Whoo-hoo.
- Man, I always forget how huge Hector's house is.
- Yeah, dude.
It's pretty nice! - Whoa.
- Aw, yeah! - Hector's parents are fancy! Oh, look, Hector was so cute as a baby.
Uh - Dude, hi.
What are those? - Hector's mom's jeans.
I am seriously freaking out right now! - They make me feel uncomfortable, and I don't know why.
Take them off.
- Pshht.
No way.
Look how they hug my curves.
- You're, like, a tube.
You don't have curves.
- Hey.
These hips don't lie, Sanj! They make me feel so maternal.
- Well, put them back.
We got to go.
- And what's that? Technology! Whoa.
- This whole house is remote-controlled.
- There's a map of the entire place! There's us! And that must be Sweet Cheeks.
Whoa! Whoa! - My turn! - Ah! Closet robots! - Nah, dude.
That's a vacuum.
- It likes me.
Get out of here.
This whole house is like a big old video game.
What else can we push? - What was that? Something's in the house! And look, it's headed for the kitchen.
- Sweet Cheeks is in the kitchen! Come on.
Hello? Who's there? You can come out now.
Oh, there you are.
It's here in the kitchen! - We know you're here, creature! Come out! It went around this way.
Hey! - There's nothing there.
It must've just been in our heads.
- Yeah.
It's probably the glitch thing.
- Coyote! Coyote! Coyote! - Oh, man! We let a coyote in the house! - It's okay, Sweet Cheeks.
We won't let him eat you.
Maybe if we're quiet, it'll go away, right? - Oh, man! Here, give me that controller.
That front door is open.
Now we just have to wait for him to leave.
- Nice one, boy! How long is that gonna take? - These are the best days of their lives - You're watching the best days of their lives - Sweet Cheeks is all right Aww.
- These are the best days of their lives They sure do grow up fast.
It's true.
- Think that coyote is still there? Yes, he's still out there! Here, I have an idea.
Dude, put that bag of bread on it.
Yeah! Come on.
Come on.
Take the bait.
All right! Go, go, go! - Open the window! - It's locked! - Coyote! Coyote! - Dude, we're gonna be stuck in here forever! - That closet-robot- bread-bag animal was my best idea.
I don't know what to do now.
- Hmm.
Thinking, thinking, thinking.
Ah.
Idea! Come on, Sanjay.
What's the holdup? Some of us aren't shaped for climbing through vents, okay? - You got to slither, man! - This chubby puppy's slowing me down.
- Oh, but look at that little face.
Oh, he's got a smile you just want to kiss on.
- Okay, dude.
Which way is the way out? - I don't know.
Let me take a look at where we are.
Uh Huh? - What was that, Craig? - Uh, it was the coyote, and he has the controller! - Oh, my moly! Hmm? - Craig, get a hold of yourself! - I'm coldblooded, man! I can't handle the AC! - Craig, stop! - I got to get out of here! - Aah! - Huh? - Craig, where are you? - Sanjay, am I blind? Am I blind? - Craig.
- Aah! - Coyote! - Sweet Cheeks.
- Aah! Coyote! - Craig, talk to me! Aah! Craig, is that you? - Save me, Sanjay! Leave yourself! No.
Come on.
We'll be safe in Hector's room.
Aah! This is a train wreck.
- We totally should not have poked around.
- Hector's family is never gonna trust us again.
I don't even know if I trust us.
Are we bad persons? - You shut your noise hole.
Yes, mistakes were made, but it's okay because we saved Sweet Oh, where's Sweet Cheeks? - We left him with the coyote! - Oh, my gosh.
We are bad persons! - We blew this big-time.
Hector loves us.
See? - Aww.
- Poor Sweet Cheeks.
He's probably chubby-puppy coyote chow by now.
- I'll never get to see his beautiful butt-face again.
- He really grew on me, like mold inside a shower.
Why didn't we just feed him and go? Why did we have to mess everything up? Two blinking dots! That means Sweet Cheeks is alive! - Yeah, but coyote is closing in on him.
- Oh, no.
We've got one more chance to save Sweet Cheeks! Battle mode.
Mwah.
Come at us, coyote! Aah! Craig, I told you to take off those mom jeans! - Never! - Craig, look! - Sweet Cheeks, come here! Aah! Huh? - Uh, Is everything okay, players? We came back as soon as the alarm went off.
- Coyote, coyote, coyote.
Sweet Cheeks, no! - No! What? What's going on? You met Sweet Cheeks' little girlfriend, huh? - She finally found a way in, huh? I'm not surprised.
These two have been making moon eyes at each other for some time.
- What are you talking about? - It is a vicious monster! - It's been trying to eat us this whole week! - Uh, we've only been gone for an hour, yo! - Say what? Papa, can we keep the coyote? No.
That's a feral animal.
- Too late! Already named her Muffin.
Aww, look, they're hugging.
- Aw, they're so happy! - Wow.
We united two star-crossed lovers.
I guess we is good persons.
- No, players.
You trashed the whole joint! You got to clean this mess up.
- Are those my jeans? - Um - These were the best jeans of his - They're mine! - Life
- We'll take good care of Sweet Cheeks for you.
- Oh, we know you will, players.
- Have a fun vacation.
Uh-oh.
- Hmm.
- We will, homies.
Flanagans, out! - We are such good persons for taking care of Hector's dog.
- Yep.
- Dude, why you nakey? - Getting comfy.
- We're just gonna feed Sweet Cheeks and go home.
It's easy.
- Those sound like famous last words to me.
- Yeah, yeah.
Let's just do this.
Eat up, little buddy.
- Uh-huh, but not too fast.
Dogs can twist their stomachs if they eat too fast.
- Really? - Yeah.
We got to keep this guy safe Because we're good persons.
- Well, we fed him.
Let's head home.
See you in the morning, Sweet Che - Uh-uh-uh.
Uh, I think we deserve a little reward for this dog care we're doling out over here, yeah? - Like what? - Grandma's famous tamales, yo! Andale! - Yeah.
They probably won't notice if we just take one.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
For real, though, we should stop touching their stuff.
- Oh, come on, man.
We got to poke around a little.
Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke.
- Okay, okay.
- Whoo-hoo.
- Man, I always forget how huge Hector's house is.
- Yeah, dude.
It's pretty nice! - Whoa.
- Aw, yeah! - Hector's parents are fancy! Oh, look, Hector was so cute as a baby.
Uh - Dude, hi.
What are those? - Hector's mom's jeans.
I am seriously freaking out right now! - They make me feel uncomfortable, and I don't know why.
Take them off.
- Pshht.
No way.
Look how they hug my curves.
- You're, like, a tube.
You don't have curves.
- Hey.
These hips don't lie, Sanj! They make me feel so maternal.
- Well, put them back.
We got to go.
- And what's that? Technology! Whoa.
- This whole house is remote-controlled.
- There's a map of the entire place! There's us! And that must be Sweet Cheeks.
Whoa! Whoa! - My turn! - Ah! Closet robots! - Nah, dude.
That's a vacuum.
- It likes me.
Get out of here.
This whole house is like a big old video game.
What else can we push? - What was that? Something's in the house! And look, it's headed for the kitchen.
- Sweet Cheeks is in the kitchen! Come on.
Hello? Who's there? You can come out now.
Oh, there you are.
It's here in the kitchen! - We know you're here, creature! Come out! It went around this way.
Hey! - There's nothing there.
It must've just been in our heads.
- Yeah.
It's probably the glitch thing.
- Coyote! Coyote! Coyote! - Oh, man! We let a coyote in the house! - It's okay, Sweet Cheeks.
We won't let him eat you.
Maybe if we're quiet, it'll go away, right? - Oh, man! Here, give me that controller.
That front door is open.
Now we just have to wait for him to leave.
- Nice one, boy! How long is that gonna take? - These are the best days of their lives - You're watching the best days of their lives - Sweet Cheeks is all right Aww.
- These are the best days of their lives They sure do grow up fast.
It's true.
- Think that coyote is still there? Yes, he's still out there! Here, I have an idea.
Dude, put that bag of bread on it.
Yeah! Come on.
Come on.
Take the bait.
All right! Go, go, go! - Open the window! - It's locked! - Coyote! Coyote! - Dude, we're gonna be stuck in here forever! - That closet-robot- bread-bag animal was my best idea.
I don't know what to do now.
- Hmm.
Thinking, thinking, thinking.
Ah.
Idea! Come on, Sanjay.
What's the holdup? Some of us aren't shaped for climbing through vents, okay? - You got to slither, man! - This chubby puppy's slowing me down.
- Oh, but look at that little face.
Oh, he's got a smile you just want to kiss on.
- Okay, dude.
Which way is the way out? - I don't know.
Let me take a look at where we are.
Uh Huh? - What was that, Craig? - Uh, it was the coyote, and he has the controller! - Oh, my moly! Hmm? - Craig, get a hold of yourself! - I'm coldblooded, man! I can't handle the AC! - Craig, stop! - I got to get out of here! - Aah! - Huh? - Craig, where are you? - Sanjay, am I blind? Am I blind? - Craig.
- Aah! - Coyote! - Sweet Cheeks.
- Aah! Coyote! - Craig, talk to me! Aah! Craig, is that you? - Save me, Sanjay! Leave yourself! No.
Come on.
We'll be safe in Hector's room.
Aah! This is a train wreck.
- We totally should not have poked around.
- Hector's family is never gonna trust us again.
I don't even know if I trust us.
Are we bad persons? - You shut your noise hole.
Yes, mistakes were made, but it's okay because we saved Sweet Oh, where's Sweet Cheeks? - We left him with the coyote! - Oh, my gosh.
We are bad persons! - We blew this big-time.
Hector loves us.
See? - Aww.
- Poor Sweet Cheeks.
He's probably chubby-puppy coyote chow by now.
- I'll never get to see his beautiful butt-face again.
- He really grew on me, like mold inside a shower.
Why didn't we just feed him and go? Why did we have to mess everything up? Two blinking dots! That means Sweet Cheeks is alive! - Yeah, but coyote is closing in on him.
- Oh, no.
We've got one more chance to save Sweet Cheeks! Battle mode.
Mwah.
Come at us, coyote! Aah! Craig, I told you to take off those mom jeans! - Never! - Craig, look! - Sweet Cheeks, come here! Aah! Huh? - Uh, Is everything okay, players? We came back as soon as the alarm went off.
- Coyote, coyote, coyote.
Sweet Cheeks, no! - No! What? What's going on? You met Sweet Cheeks' little girlfriend, huh? - She finally found a way in, huh? I'm not surprised.
These two have been making moon eyes at each other for some time.
- What are you talking about? - It is a vicious monster! - It's been trying to eat us this whole week! - Uh, we've only been gone for an hour, yo! - Say what? Papa, can we keep the coyote? No.
That's a feral animal.
- Too late! Already named her Muffin.
Aww, look, they're hugging.
- Aw, they're so happy! - Wow.
We united two star-crossed lovers.
I guess we is good persons.
- No, players.
You trashed the whole joint! You got to clean this mess up.
- Are those my jeans? - Um - These were the best jeans of his - They're mine! - Life