Shower of Stars (1954) s03e06 Episode Script
Cloak and Dagger
ANNOUNCER: And now live in full color, from Television City in Hollywood, Chrysler Corporation presents Jack Benny, Gale Storm.
Making a special appearance, Lawrence Welk.
Jacques d'Amboise.
Sid Krofft.
And special guest Hedy Lamar starring in Shower of Stars.
The brightest stars of Hollywood brought to you by Chrysler Corporation, maker of the five great cars of the forward look.
Plymouth.
Dodge.
De Soto.
Chrysler.
And the exclusive Imperial.
Chrysler Corporation, the forward look.
Now, here's you host, Bill Lundigan.
[APPLAUSE.]
-Thank you very much.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome once again to Shower of Stars.
Chrysler Corporation is proud to present for you as your master of ceremonies this evening a man who has spent so many years in show business that he needs no introduction, so here he is.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Bill? -Yes, Jack? -I guess I was wrong.
We'll do it your way? [LAUGHTER.]
-Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome once again to Shower of Stars.
Chrysler Corporations is proud to present as your master of ceremonies this evening a man who, even though he has spent so many years in show business, evidently needs an introduction and here his, Mr.
Jack Benny.
[APPLAUSE.]
-Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, for that spontaneous applause.
[LAUGHTER.]
And I-- Oh, Bill? Bill, come here a minute.
You know, I'm really I'm terribly sorry that we had such an argument during rehearsal about this.
-Oh, that's all right.
-The way I wanted to be introduced, you know? But I just can't believe that after all the years that I've spent in show business that I could walk on the stage and nobody would know me.
It's-- really it's unconceivable.
-Jack, that word is inconceivable.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, either way I can't believe it.
-It is a little baffling.
Of course, might be able to explain it this way.
You know, it's a known fact that a certain percentage of our studio audiences come from areas that have no television.
You know, fringe areas.
-Fringe? -Fringe areas.
And by a strange coincidence, our entire studio audience here tonight falls in that category.
Understand me? [LAUGHTER.]
-No, but my pride forces me to buy that.
[LAUGHTER.]
But Bill, all right I'll accept that.
That a studio audience-- that they didn't recognize me the first time.
But I mean, for heaven's sakes, what about the ushers? I mean, why didn't they applaud? -Oh, well they're still mad at you from Christmas.
-All right, so I forgot again.
I mean, is that a reason I should come out here without a sound? I mean, it's unexcuseable really.
-Jack, that's inexcusable.
[LAUGHTER.]
Jack, I hope you don't mind correct you in front of all these people.
I really don't want to embarrass you.
-Oh, that's all right.
I mean, nobody knows me here.
[LAUGHTER.]
But Bill, if you correct me once more, I believe you'll find yourself unemployed, and that word I'm sure of.
[LAUGHTER.]
Now I have to introduce the show, so if you'll just run off and polish up a Plymouth for the commercial.
[LAUGHTER.]
Thank you very very much.
You know, I'm really not angry at Bill, because, well, he is a bright and intelligent young man.
And he certainly is-- well his knowledge, it's amazing, you know? The knowledge that he has of the English language.
It really is-- it's absolutely incanny.
[LAUGHTER.]
Or uncanny, I mean.
But now that we have been formally introduced, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to bring you up, you know, to all of my activities that I've been doing now.
I have my own television show for Lucky Strike.
I'm the master of ceremonies on this show.
I'm on radio.
And of course this past year has been quite exciting.
I've been giving a lot of violin concerts.
You see, some time ago I gave a concert at Carnegie Hall with the New York Philharmonic, and then shortly after that I went to Philadelphia at the Academy of Music, where I gave a concert with the Philadelphia Orchestra, which was conducted by Mr.
Alfred Wallenstein.
And then just recently, I had to fly back to New York for another violin engagement.
I played at Momma Gabor's wedding.
[LAUGHTER.]
Her age is somewhat like mine.
It's flexible.
[LAUGHTER.]
And speaking of concerts, I would like to announce at this time that next month on April 23, I'm giving a concert here in the Los Angeles with the Los Angeles Philharmonic, which will also be conducted by Alfred Wallenstein.
You see, Mr.
Wallenstein conducts all of my concerts.
[LAUGHTER.]
He is known as the conductor with the delicate hands and the cast iron stomach.
And now ladies and gentlemen, in presenting our first guest, I like to say that-- I'd like introduce a young lady who, because of so many of her accomplishments, needs no introduction, and here she is.
[APPLAUSE.]
-I wasn't taking any chances.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, if I weren't such a big showoff, I would've thought of the same thing.
[MUSIC PLAYS.]
-(SINGING) You make me feel so young.
You make feel so Spring has sprung.
And every time I see you grin, I'm such a happy individual.
The moment that you speak I want to go play hide and seek.
I want to go and bounce the moon just like a toy balloon.
You and I are just like a couple of tots running across a meadow picking up lots of forget me nots.
You make me feel so young.
You make me feel there are songs to be sung.
Bells to be rung.
Wonderful fling to be flung.
And even when I'm old and grey, I'm gonna feel the way I do today, cause you make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: The moment that you speak I want to go play hide and seek.
-I want to go and bounce the moon just like a toy balloon.
You and I are just like a couple of tots running across a meadow picking up lots and lots of forget me nots.
You make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: You make me feel so young.
-You make feel there are songs to be sung.
Bells to be rung and a wonderful fling to be flung.
And even when I'm old and gray, I'm gonna feel the way I do today, cause you, you make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: You make me feel so young.
-You make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: You make me feel so young.
-You make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: You make me feel so young.
So young.
[APPLAUSE.]
-Well, congratulations, Ms.
Storm.
You really sing up a gale.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'll bet I'm not the first one who pulled that corny on you, eh? -Yes, you are.
-Well, I had to think of something.
But there must be some satisfaction for you, Gale to-- well, to be a comedienne, and have your own television show, and then be so successful with your recording.
-Oh, well that's real sweet of you, Jack.
But my goodness, you're the one who's versatile.
You're a comedian, and you play the violin.
-Well, true, true.
Yes.
An then I-- course there's something else, but very few people know about it.
I, uh, I also sing.
-You sing? -Are you kidding? If I lowered my violin and oiled my hips I'd be another Elvis Pretzel-- [LAUGHTER.]
Presley.
That's hard to believe, isn't it? -Oh, no.
And since you've live in Beverly Hills, your theme song could be you ain't nothing but a french poodle.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Gale, you know, in order to stick to the continuity, you see, I've made some records too.
You know, I made a whole album of records with Mr.
Isaac Stern, who is one of the world's greatest violinists, you see? He, uh-- well, he plays all the big heavy numbers, and I narrate them, you know.
And they're very good.
-I know, Jack.
I bought one of your albums.
-Oh, well that's nice.
-That's nice? Is that all you've got to say? -Look, I only make two cents a record.
What do you want? The Gettysburg Address? [LAUGHTER.]
Gale, haven't you another number or something that you were supposed to do in here? -Well, yes I have, but it has a very special arrangement.
And if you don't mind, I'd like to have my accompaniest right here on stage with me.
-You accompaniest? -Yes.
-Oh fine, sure.
It's all right with me.
-Would you come out please? [APPLAUSE.]
-Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
-Guy Lombardo? -I also wasn't going to take any chances.
-Oh that's-- that's in case they wouldn't believe I was Guy Lombardo.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Look Lawrence, you're not Guy Lombardo, and you're not Harry James.
You're Lawrence Welk.
You see? Lawrence Welk from Dakota.
-I live in the fringe area.
[LAUGHTER.]
Who are you? [LAUGHTER.]
-I'm Ken Murray.
[LAUGHTER.]
No, no.
Lawrence, I'm Jack Benny.
-I don't believe it.
Where's your sign.
-Uh, my husband's watching the show, and since I haven't had anything to do for a little while, would you mind if I waved? -Oh, oh, well I'm terribly sorry.
I didn't mean to leave you standing here.
Well what about this number you're gonna do? -Well, I was thinking about it, and I think it'd fit much better in the sketch, and that would give me a chance to change my dress.
-Oh, well fine.
Go ahead then.
[APPLAUSE.]
You know, uh, I made-- she's a lovely girl, isn't she? -Wonderful.
-I made some records, and she, uh, she bought one of them.
-She did? [LAUGHTER.]
Did you? -No.
[LAUGHTER.]
Here, you can have two cents here someplace.
[LAUGHTER.]
Don't have any change for you.
-I'll take a stamp.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'm gonna tell you something.
You know, I tuned in to your show.
Isn't he wonderful? So uncomfortable without and accordion.
[APPLAUSE.]
Why do you think I give concerts? Why do you think I give concerts? For a change.
I'm lousy, but it's a change.
[LAUGHTER.]
I gotta tell you something, Lawrence.
You know, I have been tuning in to your programs, and I must say I enjoy them very much.
Not only, you know, the-- well, you're orchestra is so good, your band, and then your singers.
And I thought the last show I saw you had some wonderful dancers on the show.
-Well, Jack you have a very wonderful dancer here on your show, a ballerina.
-Ballerina? Well, of course I'm never around when they do these production numbers, so I don't know.
Is this ballerina really something? -Oh, she's intoxicatingly beautiful.
-Oh, she is? -Yes.
Would you like to meet her? -Oh, I'd love to.
[LAUGHTER.]
You said she was beautiful.
I said she was intoxicatingly beautiful.
You need a few drinks to appreciate her.
You had a few drinks before you read that last line.
[LAUGHTER.]
Ah, what's the difference.
-Madame Novotka, I'd like to introduce to you-- -Oh, wait a minute.
This man needs no introduction.
He's Jack Benny.
-Oh, then you knew.
You know who I was? -Oh, I watch all your programs.
-Oh, you do? -Oh yes.
You see, when you work with puppets all day, it's such a change to see some people shows.
-Oh, isn't that cute? -Would you help me up? -Yes, but I don't know which string to pull.
I don't want to make a faux pas here.
-Just take my hand.
-Isn't she beautiful, Jack? She's almost real.
-Yeah, it's amazing, you know, what a lot paste, and a little putty, and little-- and some false hair can do, isn't it? -You ought to know, kid.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Listen, if you think that I'm going to stand here and be insulted by a puppet, you're crazy.
If you want to hold a conversation with her, you go ahead.
-OK, Jack.
-I'm going to introduce the next act.
You know-- [APPLAUSE.]
Imagine him telling me that puppet was beautiful.
He likes anything that's-- any material that's made for a baton.
He likes that.
[LAUGHTER.]
Anyway, I'm crazy about a mannequin in bullets window.
[LAUGHTER.]
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce now a young fellow who is one of the finest dancers that I have ever seen.
He-- you have seen him-- as a matter of fact, he is one of the great, real great dancers of the New York City Ballet.
And those of you who have seen Carousel remember what a great job he did.
He's also going to be in a review in New York called the Shinbone Alley.
Called Shinbone Alley.
And I'm sure it won't be long before he will need no introduction.
Mr.
Jacques d'Amboise.
[APPLAUSE.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[APPLAUSE.]
ANNOUNCER: In just a moment, we'll return to Jack Benny and Shower of Stars.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders.
Follow the leaders.
Follow the leaders.
Follow the leaders.
ANNOUNCER: Why not follow the leaders, the forward looking men and women all over the country who are switching? Switching from other makes of cars to the 1957 cars from Chrysler Corporation.
SINGERS: Chrysler Corporation is the leader in styling.
ANNOUNCER: The 1957 cars of a forward look are the leaders in automotive styling because, like this low priced Plymouth-- SINGERS: They're low, low, low.
ANNOUNCER: Matter of fact, they're the lowest cars on the road.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders.
ANNOUNCER: Follow the leaders in every town and city who agree that the Chrysler Corporation cars are styled right.
They're styled way ahead of all other cars.
Styling leadership.
So low yet also-- SINGERS: Easiest to get into.
Easiest to get into.
Easiest to get into.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: And they're the roomiest cars on the road.
Absolutely the leg roomiest, the head roomiest, the elbow roomiest.
The roomiest with a view that's bigger too.
The windshields are bigger than those on any other car.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders.
-Follow the leaders who go for the fins of the forward would look cars, fins that mean easier handling, greater stability, as well as the look of motion.
Motion, that's right.
Motion.
So follow the leaders who are switching by the tens of thousands from other makes of cars to the cars from Chrysler Corporation.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporation, to the leader in styling, leader in engineering, follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporations.
The forward look.
ANNOUNCER: Your dealer invites you to look at to drive one of these cars at your earliest convenience.
-Do it tomorrow, huh? And now, we return to Shower of Stars and Jack Benny.
[APPLAUSE.]
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, when you think of lovely women-- and I often do-- [LAUGHTER.]
The name that comes to my mind quite often is that of Hedy Lamar, because I believe Hedy Lamar was one of the most beautiful women who has ever appeared on the screen.
In fact, when she was at MGM, her beauty, I mean, was so great that she wasn't afraid to be in the same picture with Robert Taylor.
[LAUGHTER.]
And I'm very, very happy to present to you now our special guest, Ms.
Hedy Lamar.
[APPLAUSE.]
So Hedy, it's so nice having you on the show.
-Well thank you, Jack, for saying all those nice things about me.
-Well, I meant every word.
You know, I believe you're prettier now than the first time I ever saw you.
Do you think I've changed much since the last time that, uh, you saw me? -No, not a bit.
-Well, I think I do keep my age pretty well.
When was the last time you saw me? -Well, this morning at rehearsal.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, I guess eight hours is a lot of difference.
Now Hedy, you're living in Texas now, is that right? -I sure do.
-Yeah, I thought so.
[LAUGHTER.]
But don't you miss the excitement of Hollywood, and pictures, and all this.
-Well, I haven't exactly given it up, you know? As a matter of fact, I just finished a film in Rome.
-Oh you did? What's the name of it? -It's called the love of three queens.
-The love-- oh, of course.
You're not only in it, but you produced it.
-Yes, I did.
-Oh, say Hedy that reminds me.
I have a story, an original script for you that would be absolutely terrific for you to produce.
-Well, right now I really don't have any plans for the future.
-I know, but Hedy this is such a wonderful story.
I'll sell it to you for peanuts, really.
-OK, how much? -$50,000.
-$50,000? But that's an awful lot.
50,000 peanuts is only $20.
[LAUGHTER.]
But when I tell you this story, you'll jump at it.
It's so original.
It takes place in the south, you see? And there's a girl who is 21 years old and still sleeps in a crib.
[LAUGHTER.]
And all day long she keeps her thumb in her mouth.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Yes, and her name is Babydoll.
-No, Dollbaby.
[LAUGHTER.]
-I don't know who sold you that story, but whoever did stole it.
-Stole it? -You told me the story of-- and it's by Tennesse Williams of Babydoll.
-Hm.
-Can't wait till I lay my hands of that barber of mine.
[LAUGHTER.]
Said he wrote it himself.
He even gave me a lousy haircut too.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, Jack you've got to be careful when you buy stories.
That's really a producers job.
-I know.
I should have learned my lesson two years ago when I bought War and Peace from Rochester.
[LAUGHTER.]
He told me Tolstoy was a friend of his.
[LAUGHTER.]
Well, Hedy now look, we're going to do a sketch in a little while, a play in which you have to change your dress and everything for, so maybe you oughta run along and do that.
And by the way, don't forget that after the show tonight, I'll take you home.
We'll have dinner.
-Oh, I thought we'll dinner and then you'll take me home.
-Well, we'll talk about it.
[LAUGHTER.]
[APPLAUSE.]
I'll probably wind up with the puppet.
[LAUGHTER.]
How much can a puppet eat? Ladies and gentlemen, when I was in London last summer, I saw-- I went to the Palladium Theater, and I saw one of the greatest acts that I have ever seen in showbiz, the greatest act of it's kind.
And I made up my mind if that act ever came to America, that I would have them here on my show, and they're here today.
And of course, when I asked them to come over, I told them to fly from London to New York over the polar rope.
You see, I wanted them to avoid New York.
I didn't want them to get anywhere near Ed Sullivan.
[LAUGHTER.]
So here they are, ladies and gentlemen, the Sid Krofft marionettes.
[APPLAUSE.]
[BANG.]
[BANG.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[BANG.]
[BANG.]
[APPLAUSE.]
ANNOUNCER: We'll again return to Jack Benny and third act of Shower or Stars.
SPOKESMAN: In other makes of cars, on curves you still lean and sway quite a bit.
On bumps, you bounce.
And when you come to a stop, you dip and dive.
But Chrysler corporation's engineering leadership now brings you new torsion air rid, a completely new idea in suspension system.
It's the year's outstanding engineering advance.
Torsion air means that now you can take the tightest curve with practically no lean, no uncomfortable sway.
On bumpy stretches, new torsion air ride is so smooth it actually carpets the road.
And when you come to stop with torsion air, there's no annoying dip or dive.
New torsion air rid, extra value at no extra cost.
And yours only in cars from Chrysler Corporation Torsion air ride, one of the many reasons why the switch is in to the five great cars from Chrysler Corporation.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporation, to the leader in styling, leader in engineering.
ANNOUNCER: Follow the leaders in every community who recognize the engineering leadership of the cars of the forward look.
Leadership that has brought you tested and proven push button driving.
Swift, smooth torqueflite transmission.
Safer, longer lasting total contact breaks.
And safer, easier full time power steering.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporation, to the leader in styling, leader in engineering.
Follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporation, the forward look.
-See for yourself why so many people are switching to our cars.
See one of our dealers this weekend and drive one of the five great cars from Chrysler Corporation.
And now ladies and gentleman, back to Shower of Stars and Jack Benny.
Our scene is in an international cafe, and as we start our story, the customers are being entertained by the club's popular singer.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
-(SINGING) Just in time, I found you.
Just in time.
Before you came, my time was running out.
I was lost.
SINGERS: Baby, you were lost.
-Losing dice were tossed.
SINGERS: Unlucky throw.
-My bridges all were crossed.
SINGERS: Say it isn't so.
-Nowhere to go.
SINGERS: Don't cry.
Here comes you lover.
-Now you're here.
SINGERS: Now you know.
-And now I know just where I'm going.
No more doubt or fear.
SINGERS: Lovely day.
-I found my way.
SINGERS: You found your way.
-For love came just in time.
You found me just in time and changed my lonely life.
A lovely day.
[SPEAKING FRENCH.]
-No, I say, you know, before you came along, my time was running low.
I mean, by Jove, I was going to complain to the home office.
[SPEAKING SPANISH.]
-Now you're here.
And now I know just where I'm going.
No more doubt or fear.
I've found my way.
For love came just in time.
You found me just in time and changed my lonely life.
A lovely, lovely day.
[APPLAUSE.]
JACK BENNY: The meeting place of spies, foreign agents, diplomats, and exiles from all over the world.
Lisbon, the hotbed of international intrigue.
Jack has intrigued.
Thanks.
Lisbon, a hotbed of international intrigue.
The pretty girl who just sang calls herself Sonya.
She is billed at the cafe as a chanteuse, but to those of us who know better, she's really a singer.
[LAUGHTER.]
However, singing is not all that Sonya does.
She is also a spy, foreign agent, adventurous, and the star of her own TV series, Oh Susannah.
[LAUGHTER.]
The man who is showing those two officers to their table is Sacha, the head waiter.
[LAUGHTER.]
There are rumors that Sacha was also a spy.
One thing is certain.
Sacha hated Sonya.
And Sonya hates Sacha.
That's because they're shows are opposite each other on Saturday night.
[LAUGHTER.]
[BANG.]
Petty arguments and differences of opinion are common at the cafe and receive very little attention.
By the way, you haven't seen me yet.
My name is Steve Nealson.
That's Nelson.
I'm the Paris correspondent for the Pismo Beach Journal.
[LAUGHTER.]
I got a tip that a story was going to break at the cafe, so I shaved, powdered, put on my best trench coat, and as I walked into the cafe, I thought I was looking rather well.
In case any of you are confused, this isn't me.
[LAUGHTER.]
It isn't Robert Taylor either.
[LAUGHTER.]
This beautiful strolling toward the bar was know as the Duchess a woman with a fascinating smile.
And a begilling look.
BILL LUNDIGAN: That's beguiling.
[BANG.]
[LAUGHTER.]
JACK BENNY: Now I can go on uninterrupted.
[LAUGHTER.]
I've always been suspicious of the Duchess, because I happen to know that she doesn't speak a word of Dutch.
[LAUGHTER.]
Oh, here I come now.
As I walked in with a tan on my face and my sparkling blue eyes, I felt sorry that there were only 30,000 color TV sets in the country.
[LAUGHTER.]
I smiled at the Duchess and she smiled back.
I decided to talk to her.
-Hello, Duchess.
-Mr.
Nelson, I must talk to you.
-Fine.
-But alone.
-That's even better.
[LAUGHTER.]
-You know, I always admired you from afar.
-Thank you.
-But now that I see you close.
-I understand.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well in a way, you remind me of my husband.
Oh, poor Rudolph.
He died in my arms.
-How? -I killed him.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, those things happen.
It's a risk a man takes when he gets married.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'll have to leave.
-No! I need your help.
-Oh.
Sacha, a table please.
-I'm sorry.
I don't have a table.
You'll have to wait until there's one available.
-Oh.
[BANG.]
[LAUGHTER.]
-There's a couple leaving now.
[LAUGHTER.]
Well, let's go.
[LAUGHTER.]
Sacha, a table.
-This way please.
They forgot their hats.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Sacha, will you open this bottle of champagne, please? -Open it yourself.
I'm sick of bubbles.
[LAUGHTER.]
[APPLAUSE.]
-All right, Duchess.
What's on your mind? -Have you ever heard of Dr.
Renaldo? -Oh yes, the carobotist.
-No.
-I understand he's the best falling arch man in Vienna.
-I'm the atomic scientist.
-It might be the same man.
I knew he had another job.
[LAUGHTER.]
-That's not important, but he works for our government.
-Yes? -And he has been kidnapped? -By who? -That's by whom.
[LAUGHTER.]
-With an accent yet.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Whom kidnapped him? [LAUGHTER.]
-National spy ring.
And he's held for ransom.
-How much? -$100,000.
-$100,000? Gee, that's a lot of money.
Did you go to the police? -Oh yes, but they wouldn't give me a quarter.
-Remember once I was lost, they wouldn't even give me an ice cream cone.
[LAUGHTER.]
What is this Dr.
Renaldo to you? -Well, uh, he's my father.
I must find him.
Mr.
Nelson, you're the only man in Lisbon I can trust.
Will you help me? Please say you do? -All right, Duchess.
I'll help you.
-Thank you.
I wish I could find a way to repay you.
-Don't worry.
I'll think of something.
[LAUGHTER.]
Meanwhile you can pay for the champagne.
JACK BENNY: The Duchess was a gorgeous and alluring woman.
And I would have believed that she was the daughter of this Dr.
Renaldo, except for one thing.
Only a week ago she told me that her father was Dag Hammershaw.
[LAUGHTER.]
She excused herself to make a phone call, and I decided to do a little checking up.
-Hello, Sonya.
-Oh hello, Steve.
Sit down.
Pull up a chair.
-Mind if I pull up a chair and then sit down? It'll be easier that way.
Who's your Turkish friend? Oh he's not Turkish.
That's Dave Miller.
He's a Shriner from Philadelphia.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Well I gotta go, or I'll miss my bus.
We've got a parade tomorrow in Barcelona.
So long Sonya.
-By the way, Steve, how's the foreign correspondence business? -Slow.
-Oh.
-My paper's been hounding me for a story.
-Say, I've got a good story for you.
-You have? Wait a minute.
Wait till I get out my pen.
Go ahead.
What is it? -Well, this Irishman got on a streetcar-- -Yeah? What was his name? What was his name? The Irishman? -Pat Murphy.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Pat Murphy.
Murphy.
-Murphy.
-OK, go ahead.
-Well, he got on the street car, and he went up to the conductor, and he said-- -Wait a minute.
What was his name? The conductor's name? -Oh.
-Conductor? What was his name? -Charlie Watson.
-Watson.
Watson.
W-A-T-S-O-N.
Watson.
[LAUGHTER.]
Go ahead.
-Well, he went up to the conductor, and he said do you stop at the Ritz? -Yeah, yeah.
-And the conductor said not only my salary.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Cut that out! [LAUGHTER.]
My paper wanted a story, not a joke.
Where'd you get that story anyway? -Bought it from my barber.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well at least you got a good haircut.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Now listen.
There's something tricky going on here, and I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
[SMASH.]
That hasn't happened to me since Carnegie Hall.
[LAUGHTER.]
JACK BENNY: I was lying.
It also happened to me later at the Academy of Music in Philadelphia.
[LAUGHTER.]
Sacha, the head waiter, was coming my way and he seemed upset.
-Mr.
Nelson, I have reason to believe you're going to be murdered, so would you mind paying your check now? [LAUGHTER.]
-Never mind that.
Now sit down.
I want to talk to you.
Now look, Sacha.
You know everything that's going on here.
And I want a story from you, and I want it right.
Now come on, give it to me clean.
JACK BENNY: Sacha talked plenty.
According to him, a scientist named Dr.
Renaldo had invented a new atomic bomb called the I bomb, which was one letter worse than the H bomb.
[LAUGHTER.]
Dr.
Renaldo was kidnapped by a gang of spies headed by a who posed as the real Dr.
Renaldo.
The Duchess was really the daughter of the false Dr.
Renaldo, and Sonya was a distant cousin of the real Dr.
Renaldo.
Meanwhile the false Dr.
Renaldo was trying to summon me to negotiate with the real Dr.
Renaldo.
[LAUGHTER.]
I didn't care how fast Sacha talked, because fortunately portions of this program were pre-recorded.
[LAUGHTER.]
Thank you.
Thank you, Sacha, for everything.
I won't forget this.
[LAUGHTER.]
Sacha, come here! Who's he? -Oh, that's Oscar, the informer.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, why is he walking around with that knife in his back.
-Well, he has no friends, and no one will tell him.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Oh Oscar, there's a knife in your back.
-Oh.
[LAUGHTER.]
-You had to tell him.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well he'd have found out anyway when he took his coat off.
[LAUGHTER.]
Oh, here comes the Duchess.
You can go.
I said you can go.
-Oh, a little music for you.
A one, a two, and a-- [MUSIC PLAYING.]
[APPLAUSE.]
-What a ham! [LAUGHTER.]
-Oh, you're still here.
I though you were gone.
-I know you did.
You're not the daughter of Dr.
Renaldo.
Now come clean.
-All right, I'll tell you the truth.
I'm not the daughter of Dr.
Renaldo.
He had no children of his own, so he adopted me.
-How old were you at the time? [LAUGHTER.]
-Kids are cute at that age.
[LAUGHTER.]
But I also found out that you are a distant cousin of the real-- -We're back again.
-Dave missed his bus.
You mind if we join the party? -No.
Why not? -Waiter, bring me a gin fizz.
JACK BENNY: I was particularly suspicious of Dave Miller, the Shriner from Philadelphia.
I noticed from the fuzz on his chin that he hadn't shaved.
The waiter came with the gin fizz.
I didn't like the fuss he made over the fizz.
I didn't like his face, his fuzz, nor his fez.
It was then that the whole case became clear.
[WHISTLING.]
I was ready to break it wide open when the police came in.
-You're all under arrest.
No one is permitted to leave the cafe.
We have definite information that one of you people at this table is Dr.
Renaldo.
-Is is the corrabotist or the scientist? -What difference does it make? -Plenty.
My feet hurt me.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well then stop with those polkas! [LAUGHTER.]
I know the man you're looking for.
He's Dr.
Renaldo.
And he brought a bomb in his coat.
I cannot find the bomb on this man.
-Oh you can't, eh? Stand back! [LAUGHTER.]
There! -Ooh.
You ruin everything.
I told you to keep this formula in your head, not on your head.
[LAUGHTER.]
-He's ready to blow up this whole country! -This is a time bomb! -What time is it set for? -9 o'clock.
-It's 10 seconds to 9 now.
-And a 10, and a 9, and an 8, and a 7, and a 6, and a 5, and a 4, and a 3, and a 2, and a-- JACK BENNY: I am writing this story from Anchorage, Alaska.
[LAUGHTER.]
I had intended to write it from my office in Pismo Beach, but unfortunately when the bomb went off, I was pointing in the wrong direction.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, hi Jack! -Hedy! What are you doing in Alaska? -Well, I live here! This is for the Texans.
-Oh for heaven's sake.
ANNOUNCER: In just a moment, you'll meet Eddie Albert, Steve Corliss, Maureen O'Sullivan, Charlie Ruggles, and Jill Corey in preview of next week's exciting Climax! program.
SPOKESMAN: Compare Plymouth.
Compare Plymouth's styling with the other two cars in the low price three.
Only Plymouth gives you fins that mean beauty plus extra stability proven in wind tunnel tests.
Only Plymouth gives you big, big windshields up to 58% bigger than last year.
And rear windows that are picture windows too.
All one piece.
They flow right into the lines of the car.
Only Plymouth gives you torsion aire ride that isolates road shock, takes curves flat, eliminates jolting dive on stops.
And only Plymouth gives you torqueflite transmission for unmatched smoothness.
There Plymouth at your dealer's spectacular Plymouth all three show down.
Ladies and gentleman, next on the Climax!, Let it be me.
Facing loss of prestige and financial ruin, a famous music personality accepts the easy compromise of bribes, but in so doing brings disillusion, even death, to those who trust and love him.
Eddie Albert plays the part of Barney Candor, the Payola king.
Barney's protege, Pete, is played by Steve Forrest.
-What are you, a choir boy? In every business, somebody gets paid for giving out favors.
What do you want me to do? Wait for Christmas? Somebody gave me gold cigarette case with rubies.
Who needs it? I don't smoke.
-There's a big difference, Barney.
A present is to say thank you.
A payola is a bribe.
-Get out of here, you-- -Who else could get a man to jump out of an 18 story window? That's payola nobody can top.
You're the undisputed wearer of the crown.
BILL LUNDIGAN: Maureen O'Sullivan plays the part of Barney's wife, Miriam.
Charlie Ruggles is the song plugger, Dan Gennesse.
Jill Corey plays Linda Wallace, the Golden-- the girl whose golden voice has sold 2 million records.
Next week on Climax!, Let It Be Me, written by Eileen Robert Mason Pollock especially for Climax!.
And starring Eddie Albert, Steve Forrest, Maureen O'Sullivan, Charlie Ruggles, and Jill Corey.
With special guest appearances by Johnny Desmond and the High Lows.
And Jill Corey will present for the first time on Climax! the new Columbia recording, Let It Be Me.
This is Bill Lundigan saying thank you and remember let safety share your ride.
ANNOUNCER: Shower of Stars was presented by Chrysler Corporation, the forward look.
Art Gilmour speaking.
Portions of the preceding program was pre-recorded.
Making a special appearance, Lawrence Welk.
Jacques d'Amboise.
Sid Krofft.
And special guest Hedy Lamar starring in Shower of Stars.
The brightest stars of Hollywood brought to you by Chrysler Corporation, maker of the five great cars of the forward look.
Plymouth.
Dodge.
De Soto.
Chrysler.
And the exclusive Imperial.
Chrysler Corporation, the forward look.
Now, here's you host, Bill Lundigan.
[APPLAUSE.]
-Thank you very much.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome once again to Shower of Stars.
Chrysler Corporation is proud to present for you as your master of ceremonies this evening a man who has spent so many years in show business that he needs no introduction, so here he is.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Bill? -Yes, Jack? -I guess I was wrong.
We'll do it your way? [LAUGHTER.]
-Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome once again to Shower of Stars.
Chrysler Corporations is proud to present as your master of ceremonies this evening a man who, even though he has spent so many years in show business, evidently needs an introduction and here his, Mr.
Jack Benny.
[APPLAUSE.]
-Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, for that spontaneous applause.
[LAUGHTER.]
And I-- Oh, Bill? Bill, come here a minute.
You know, I'm really I'm terribly sorry that we had such an argument during rehearsal about this.
-Oh, that's all right.
-The way I wanted to be introduced, you know? But I just can't believe that after all the years that I've spent in show business that I could walk on the stage and nobody would know me.
It's-- really it's unconceivable.
-Jack, that word is inconceivable.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, either way I can't believe it.
-It is a little baffling.
Of course, might be able to explain it this way.
You know, it's a known fact that a certain percentage of our studio audiences come from areas that have no television.
You know, fringe areas.
-Fringe? -Fringe areas.
And by a strange coincidence, our entire studio audience here tonight falls in that category.
Understand me? [LAUGHTER.]
-No, but my pride forces me to buy that.
[LAUGHTER.]
But Bill, all right I'll accept that.
That a studio audience-- that they didn't recognize me the first time.
But I mean, for heaven's sakes, what about the ushers? I mean, why didn't they applaud? -Oh, well they're still mad at you from Christmas.
-All right, so I forgot again.
I mean, is that a reason I should come out here without a sound? I mean, it's unexcuseable really.
-Jack, that's inexcusable.
[LAUGHTER.]
Jack, I hope you don't mind correct you in front of all these people.
I really don't want to embarrass you.
-Oh, that's all right.
I mean, nobody knows me here.
[LAUGHTER.]
But Bill, if you correct me once more, I believe you'll find yourself unemployed, and that word I'm sure of.
[LAUGHTER.]
Now I have to introduce the show, so if you'll just run off and polish up a Plymouth for the commercial.
[LAUGHTER.]
Thank you very very much.
You know, I'm really not angry at Bill, because, well, he is a bright and intelligent young man.
And he certainly is-- well his knowledge, it's amazing, you know? The knowledge that he has of the English language.
It really is-- it's absolutely incanny.
[LAUGHTER.]
Or uncanny, I mean.
But now that we have been formally introduced, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to bring you up, you know, to all of my activities that I've been doing now.
I have my own television show for Lucky Strike.
I'm the master of ceremonies on this show.
I'm on radio.
And of course this past year has been quite exciting.
I've been giving a lot of violin concerts.
You see, some time ago I gave a concert at Carnegie Hall with the New York Philharmonic, and then shortly after that I went to Philadelphia at the Academy of Music, where I gave a concert with the Philadelphia Orchestra, which was conducted by Mr.
Alfred Wallenstein.
And then just recently, I had to fly back to New York for another violin engagement.
I played at Momma Gabor's wedding.
[LAUGHTER.]
Her age is somewhat like mine.
It's flexible.
[LAUGHTER.]
And speaking of concerts, I would like to announce at this time that next month on April 23, I'm giving a concert here in the Los Angeles with the Los Angeles Philharmonic, which will also be conducted by Alfred Wallenstein.
You see, Mr.
Wallenstein conducts all of my concerts.
[LAUGHTER.]
He is known as the conductor with the delicate hands and the cast iron stomach.
And now ladies and gentlemen, in presenting our first guest, I like to say that-- I'd like introduce a young lady who, because of so many of her accomplishments, needs no introduction, and here she is.
[APPLAUSE.]
-I wasn't taking any chances.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, if I weren't such a big showoff, I would've thought of the same thing.
[MUSIC PLAYS.]
-(SINGING) You make me feel so young.
You make feel so Spring has sprung.
And every time I see you grin, I'm such a happy individual.
The moment that you speak I want to go play hide and seek.
I want to go and bounce the moon just like a toy balloon.
You and I are just like a couple of tots running across a meadow picking up lots of forget me nots.
You make me feel so young.
You make me feel there are songs to be sung.
Bells to be rung.
Wonderful fling to be flung.
And even when I'm old and grey, I'm gonna feel the way I do today, cause you make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: The moment that you speak I want to go play hide and seek.
-I want to go and bounce the moon just like a toy balloon.
You and I are just like a couple of tots running across a meadow picking up lots and lots of forget me nots.
You make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: You make me feel so young.
-You make feel there are songs to be sung.
Bells to be rung and a wonderful fling to be flung.
And even when I'm old and gray, I'm gonna feel the way I do today, cause you, you make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: You make me feel so young.
-You make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: You make me feel so young.
-You make me feel so young.
MALE SINGERS: You make me feel so young.
So young.
[APPLAUSE.]
-Well, congratulations, Ms.
Storm.
You really sing up a gale.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'll bet I'm not the first one who pulled that corny on you, eh? -Yes, you are.
-Well, I had to think of something.
But there must be some satisfaction for you, Gale to-- well, to be a comedienne, and have your own television show, and then be so successful with your recording.
-Oh, well that's real sweet of you, Jack.
But my goodness, you're the one who's versatile.
You're a comedian, and you play the violin.
-Well, true, true.
Yes.
An then I-- course there's something else, but very few people know about it.
I, uh, I also sing.
-You sing? -Are you kidding? If I lowered my violin and oiled my hips I'd be another Elvis Pretzel-- [LAUGHTER.]
Presley.
That's hard to believe, isn't it? -Oh, no.
And since you've live in Beverly Hills, your theme song could be you ain't nothing but a french poodle.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Gale, you know, in order to stick to the continuity, you see, I've made some records too.
You know, I made a whole album of records with Mr.
Isaac Stern, who is one of the world's greatest violinists, you see? He, uh-- well, he plays all the big heavy numbers, and I narrate them, you know.
And they're very good.
-I know, Jack.
I bought one of your albums.
-Oh, well that's nice.
-That's nice? Is that all you've got to say? -Look, I only make two cents a record.
What do you want? The Gettysburg Address? [LAUGHTER.]
Gale, haven't you another number or something that you were supposed to do in here? -Well, yes I have, but it has a very special arrangement.
And if you don't mind, I'd like to have my accompaniest right here on stage with me.
-You accompaniest? -Yes.
-Oh fine, sure.
It's all right with me.
-Would you come out please? [APPLAUSE.]
-Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
-Guy Lombardo? -I also wasn't going to take any chances.
-Oh that's-- that's in case they wouldn't believe I was Guy Lombardo.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Look Lawrence, you're not Guy Lombardo, and you're not Harry James.
You're Lawrence Welk.
You see? Lawrence Welk from Dakota.
-I live in the fringe area.
[LAUGHTER.]
Who are you? [LAUGHTER.]
-I'm Ken Murray.
[LAUGHTER.]
No, no.
Lawrence, I'm Jack Benny.
-I don't believe it.
Where's your sign.
-Uh, my husband's watching the show, and since I haven't had anything to do for a little while, would you mind if I waved? -Oh, oh, well I'm terribly sorry.
I didn't mean to leave you standing here.
Well what about this number you're gonna do? -Well, I was thinking about it, and I think it'd fit much better in the sketch, and that would give me a chance to change my dress.
-Oh, well fine.
Go ahead then.
[APPLAUSE.]
You know, uh, I made-- she's a lovely girl, isn't she? -Wonderful.
-I made some records, and she, uh, she bought one of them.
-She did? [LAUGHTER.]
Did you? -No.
[LAUGHTER.]
Here, you can have two cents here someplace.
[LAUGHTER.]
Don't have any change for you.
-I'll take a stamp.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'm gonna tell you something.
You know, I tuned in to your show.
Isn't he wonderful? So uncomfortable without and accordion.
[APPLAUSE.]
Why do you think I give concerts? Why do you think I give concerts? For a change.
I'm lousy, but it's a change.
[LAUGHTER.]
I gotta tell you something, Lawrence.
You know, I have been tuning in to your programs, and I must say I enjoy them very much.
Not only, you know, the-- well, you're orchestra is so good, your band, and then your singers.
And I thought the last show I saw you had some wonderful dancers on the show.
-Well, Jack you have a very wonderful dancer here on your show, a ballerina.
-Ballerina? Well, of course I'm never around when they do these production numbers, so I don't know.
Is this ballerina really something? -Oh, she's intoxicatingly beautiful.
-Oh, she is? -Yes.
Would you like to meet her? -Oh, I'd love to.
[LAUGHTER.]
You said she was beautiful.
I said she was intoxicatingly beautiful.
You need a few drinks to appreciate her.
You had a few drinks before you read that last line.
[LAUGHTER.]
Ah, what's the difference.
-Madame Novotka, I'd like to introduce to you-- -Oh, wait a minute.
This man needs no introduction.
He's Jack Benny.
-Oh, then you knew.
You know who I was? -Oh, I watch all your programs.
-Oh, you do? -Oh yes.
You see, when you work with puppets all day, it's such a change to see some people shows.
-Oh, isn't that cute? -Would you help me up? -Yes, but I don't know which string to pull.
I don't want to make a faux pas here.
-Just take my hand.
-Isn't she beautiful, Jack? She's almost real.
-Yeah, it's amazing, you know, what a lot paste, and a little putty, and little-- and some false hair can do, isn't it? -You ought to know, kid.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Listen, if you think that I'm going to stand here and be insulted by a puppet, you're crazy.
If you want to hold a conversation with her, you go ahead.
-OK, Jack.
-I'm going to introduce the next act.
You know-- [APPLAUSE.]
Imagine him telling me that puppet was beautiful.
He likes anything that's-- any material that's made for a baton.
He likes that.
[LAUGHTER.]
Anyway, I'm crazy about a mannequin in bullets window.
[LAUGHTER.]
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce now a young fellow who is one of the finest dancers that I have ever seen.
He-- you have seen him-- as a matter of fact, he is one of the great, real great dancers of the New York City Ballet.
And those of you who have seen Carousel remember what a great job he did.
He's also going to be in a review in New York called the Shinbone Alley.
Called Shinbone Alley.
And I'm sure it won't be long before he will need no introduction.
Mr.
Jacques d'Amboise.
[APPLAUSE.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[APPLAUSE.]
ANNOUNCER: In just a moment, we'll return to Jack Benny and Shower of Stars.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders.
Follow the leaders.
Follow the leaders.
Follow the leaders.
ANNOUNCER: Why not follow the leaders, the forward looking men and women all over the country who are switching? Switching from other makes of cars to the 1957 cars from Chrysler Corporation.
SINGERS: Chrysler Corporation is the leader in styling.
ANNOUNCER: The 1957 cars of a forward look are the leaders in automotive styling because, like this low priced Plymouth-- SINGERS: They're low, low, low.
ANNOUNCER: Matter of fact, they're the lowest cars on the road.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders.
ANNOUNCER: Follow the leaders in every town and city who agree that the Chrysler Corporation cars are styled right.
They're styled way ahead of all other cars.
Styling leadership.
So low yet also-- SINGERS: Easiest to get into.
Easiest to get into.
Easiest to get into.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: And they're the roomiest cars on the road.
Absolutely the leg roomiest, the head roomiest, the elbow roomiest.
The roomiest with a view that's bigger too.
The windshields are bigger than those on any other car.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders.
-Follow the leaders who go for the fins of the forward would look cars, fins that mean easier handling, greater stability, as well as the look of motion.
Motion, that's right.
Motion.
So follow the leaders who are switching by the tens of thousands from other makes of cars to the cars from Chrysler Corporation.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporation, to the leader in styling, leader in engineering, follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporations.
The forward look.
ANNOUNCER: Your dealer invites you to look at to drive one of these cars at your earliest convenience.
-Do it tomorrow, huh? And now, we return to Shower of Stars and Jack Benny.
[APPLAUSE.]
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, when you think of lovely women-- and I often do-- [LAUGHTER.]
The name that comes to my mind quite often is that of Hedy Lamar, because I believe Hedy Lamar was one of the most beautiful women who has ever appeared on the screen.
In fact, when she was at MGM, her beauty, I mean, was so great that she wasn't afraid to be in the same picture with Robert Taylor.
[LAUGHTER.]
And I'm very, very happy to present to you now our special guest, Ms.
Hedy Lamar.
[APPLAUSE.]
So Hedy, it's so nice having you on the show.
-Well thank you, Jack, for saying all those nice things about me.
-Well, I meant every word.
You know, I believe you're prettier now than the first time I ever saw you.
Do you think I've changed much since the last time that, uh, you saw me? -No, not a bit.
-Well, I think I do keep my age pretty well.
When was the last time you saw me? -Well, this morning at rehearsal.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, I guess eight hours is a lot of difference.
Now Hedy, you're living in Texas now, is that right? -I sure do.
-Yeah, I thought so.
[LAUGHTER.]
But don't you miss the excitement of Hollywood, and pictures, and all this.
-Well, I haven't exactly given it up, you know? As a matter of fact, I just finished a film in Rome.
-Oh you did? What's the name of it? -It's called the love of three queens.
-The love-- oh, of course.
You're not only in it, but you produced it.
-Yes, I did.
-Oh, say Hedy that reminds me.
I have a story, an original script for you that would be absolutely terrific for you to produce.
-Well, right now I really don't have any plans for the future.
-I know, but Hedy this is such a wonderful story.
I'll sell it to you for peanuts, really.
-OK, how much? -$50,000.
-$50,000? But that's an awful lot.
50,000 peanuts is only $20.
[LAUGHTER.]
But when I tell you this story, you'll jump at it.
It's so original.
It takes place in the south, you see? And there's a girl who is 21 years old and still sleeps in a crib.
[LAUGHTER.]
And all day long she keeps her thumb in her mouth.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Yes, and her name is Babydoll.
-No, Dollbaby.
[LAUGHTER.]
-I don't know who sold you that story, but whoever did stole it.
-Stole it? -You told me the story of-- and it's by Tennesse Williams of Babydoll.
-Hm.
-Can't wait till I lay my hands of that barber of mine.
[LAUGHTER.]
Said he wrote it himself.
He even gave me a lousy haircut too.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, Jack you've got to be careful when you buy stories.
That's really a producers job.
-I know.
I should have learned my lesson two years ago when I bought War and Peace from Rochester.
[LAUGHTER.]
He told me Tolstoy was a friend of his.
[LAUGHTER.]
Well, Hedy now look, we're going to do a sketch in a little while, a play in which you have to change your dress and everything for, so maybe you oughta run along and do that.
And by the way, don't forget that after the show tonight, I'll take you home.
We'll have dinner.
-Oh, I thought we'll dinner and then you'll take me home.
-Well, we'll talk about it.
[LAUGHTER.]
[APPLAUSE.]
I'll probably wind up with the puppet.
[LAUGHTER.]
How much can a puppet eat? Ladies and gentlemen, when I was in London last summer, I saw-- I went to the Palladium Theater, and I saw one of the greatest acts that I have ever seen in showbiz, the greatest act of it's kind.
And I made up my mind if that act ever came to America, that I would have them here on my show, and they're here today.
And of course, when I asked them to come over, I told them to fly from London to New York over the polar rope.
You see, I wanted them to avoid New York.
I didn't want them to get anywhere near Ed Sullivan.
[LAUGHTER.]
So here they are, ladies and gentlemen, the Sid Krofft marionettes.
[APPLAUSE.]
[BANG.]
[BANG.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[BANG.]
[BANG.]
[APPLAUSE.]
ANNOUNCER: We'll again return to Jack Benny and third act of Shower or Stars.
SPOKESMAN: In other makes of cars, on curves you still lean and sway quite a bit.
On bumps, you bounce.
And when you come to a stop, you dip and dive.
But Chrysler corporation's engineering leadership now brings you new torsion air rid, a completely new idea in suspension system.
It's the year's outstanding engineering advance.
Torsion air means that now you can take the tightest curve with practically no lean, no uncomfortable sway.
On bumpy stretches, new torsion air ride is so smooth it actually carpets the road.
And when you come to stop with torsion air, there's no annoying dip or dive.
New torsion air rid, extra value at no extra cost.
And yours only in cars from Chrysler Corporation Torsion air ride, one of the many reasons why the switch is in to the five great cars from Chrysler Corporation.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporation, to the leader in styling, leader in engineering.
ANNOUNCER: Follow the leaders in every community who recognize the engineering leadership of the cars of the forward look.
Leadership that has brought you tested and proven push button driving.
Swift, smooth torqueflite transmission.
Safer, longer lasting total contact breaks.
And safer, easier full time power steering.
SINGERS: Follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporation, to the leader in styling, leader in engineering.
Follow the leaders to Chrysler Corporation, the forward look.
-See for yourself why so many people are switching to our cars.
See one of our dealers this weekend and drive one of the five great cars from Chrysler Corporation.
And now ladies and gentleman, back to Shower of Stars and Jack Benny.
Our scene is in an international cafe, and as we start our story, the customers are being entertained by the club's popular singer.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
-(SINGING) Just in time, I found you.
Just in time.
Before you came, my time was running out.
I was lost.
SINGERS: Baby, you were lost.
-Losing dice were tossed.
SINGERS: Unlucky throw.
-My bridges all were crossed.
SINGERS: Say it isn't so.
-Nowhere to go.
SINGERS: Don't cry.
Here comes you lover.
-Now you're here.
SINGERS: Now you know.
-And now I know just where I'm going.
No more doubt or fear.
SINGERS: Lovely day.
-I found my way.
SINGERS: You found your way.
-For love came just in time.
You found me just in time and changed my lonely life.
A lovely day.
[SPEAKING FRENCH.]
-No, I say, you know, before you came along, my time was running low.
I mean, by Jove, I was going to complain to the home office.
[SPEAKING SPANISH.]
-Now you're here.
And now I know just where I'm going.
No more doubt or fear.
I've found my way.
For love came just in time.
You found me just in time and changed my lonely life.
A lovely, lovely day.
[APPLAUSE.]
JACK BENNY: The meeting place of spies, foreign agents, diplomats, and exiles from all over the world.
Lisbon, the hotbed of international intrigue.
Jack has intrigued.
Thanks.
Lisbon, a hotbed of international intrigue.
The pretty girl who just sang calls herself Sonya.
She is billed at the cafe as a chanteuse, but to those of us who know better, she's really a singer.
[LAUGHTER.]
However, singing is not all that Sonya does.
She is also a spy, foreign agent, adventurous, and the star of her own TV series, Oh Susannah.
[LAUGHTER.]
The man who is showing those two officers to their table is Sacha, the head waiter.
[LAUGHTER.]
There are rumors that Sacha was also a spy.
One thing is certain.
Sacha hated Sonya.
And Sonya hates Sacha.
That's because they're shows are opposite each other on Saturday night.
[LAUGHTER.]
[BANG.]
Petty arguments and differences of opinion are common at the cafe and receive very little attention.
By the way, you haven't seen me yet.
My name is Steve Nealson.
That's Nelson.
I'm the Paris correspondent for the Pismo Beach Journal.
[LAUGHTER.]
I got a tip that a story was going to break at the cafe, so I shaved, powdered, put on my best trench coat, and as I walked into the cafe, I thought I was looking rather well.
In case any of you are confused, this isn't me.
[LAUGHTER.]
It isn't Robert Taylor either.
[LAUGHTER.]
This beautiful strolling toward the bar was know as the Duchess a woman with a fascinating smile.
And a begilling look.
BILL LUNDIGAN: That's beguiling.
[BANG.]
[LAUGHTER.]
JACK BENNY: Now I can go on uninterrupted.
[LAUGHTER.]
I've always been suspicious of the Duchess, because I happen to know that she doesn't speak a word of Dutch.
[LAUGHTER.]
Oh, here I come now.
As I walked in with a tan on my face and my sparkling blue eyes, I felt sorry that there were only 30,000 color TV sets in the country.
[LAUGHTER.]
I smiled at the Duchess and she smiled back.
I decided to talk to her.
-Hello, Duchess.
-Mr.
Nelson, I must talk to you.
-Fine.
-But alone.
-That's even better.
[LAUGHTER.]
-You know, I always admired you from afar.
-Thank you.
-But now that I see you close.
-I understand.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well in a way, you remind me of my husband.
Oh, poor Rudolph.
He died in my arms.
-How? -I killed him.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, those things happen.
It's a risk a man takes when he gets married.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'll have to leave.
-No! I need your help.
-Oh.
Sacha, a table please.
-I'm sorry.
I don't have a table.
You'll have to wait until there's one available.
-Oh.
[BANG.]
[LAUGHTER.]
-There's a couple leaving now.
[LAUGHTER.]
Well, let's go.
[LAUGHTER.]
Sacha, a table.
-This way please.
They forgot their hats.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Sacha, will you open this bottle of champagne, please? -Open it yourself.
I'm sick of bubbles.
[LAUGHTER.]
[APPLAUSE.]
-All right, Duchess.
What's on your mind? -Have you ever heard of Dr.
Renaldo? -Oh yes, the carobotist.
-No.
-I understand he's the best falling arch man in Vienna.
-I'm the atomic scientist.
-It might be the same man.
I knew he had another job.
[LAUGHTER.]
-That's not important, but he works for our government.
-Yes? -And he has been kidnapped? -By who? -That's by whom.
[LAUGHTER.]
-With an accent yet.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Whom kidnapped him? [LAUGHTER.]
-National spy ring.
And he's held for ransom.
-How much? -$100,000.
-$100,000? Gee, that's a lot of money.
Did you go to the police? -Oh yes, but they wouldn't give me a quarter.
-Remember once I was lost, they wouldn't even give me an ice cream cone.
[LAUGHTER.]
What is this Dr.
Renaldo to you? -Well, uh, he's my father.
I must find him.
Mr.
Nelson, you're the only man in Lisbon I can trust.
Will you help me? Please say you do? -All right, Duchess.
I'll help you.
-Thank you.
I wish I could find a way to repay you.
-Don't worry.
I'll think of something.
[LAUGHTER.]
Meanwhile you can pay for the champagne.
JACK BENNY: The Duchess was a gorgeous and alluring woman.
And I would have believed that she was the daughter of this Dr.
Renaldo, except for one thing.
Only a week ago she told me that her father was Dag Hammershaw.
[LAUGHTER.]
She excused herself to make a phone call, and I decided to do a little checking up.
-Hello, Sonya.
-Oh hello, Steve.
Sit down.
Pull up a chair.
-Mind if I pull up a chair and then sit down? It'll be easier that way.
Who's your Turkish friend? Oh he's not Turkish.
That's Dave Miller.
He's a Shriner from Philadelphia.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Well I gotta go, or I'll miss my bus.
We've got a parade tomorrow in Barcelona.
So long Sonya.
-By the way, Steve, how's the foreign correspondence business? -Slow.
-Oh.
-My paper's been hounding me for a story.
-Say, I've got a good story for you.
-You have? Wait a minute.
Wait till I get out my pen.
Go ahead.
What is it? -Well, this Irishman got on a streetcar-- -Yeah? What was his name? What was his name? The Irishman? -Pat Murphy.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Pat Murphy.
Murphy.
-Murphy.
-OK, go ahead.
-Well, he got on the street car, and he went up to the conductor, and he said-- -Wait a minute.
What was his name? The conductor's name? -Oh.
-Conductor? What was his name? -Charlie Watson.
-Watson.
Watson.
W-A-T-S-O-N.
Watson.
[LAUGHTER.]
Go ahead.
-Well, he went up to the conductor, and he said do you stop at the Ritz? -Yeah, yeah.
-And the conductor said not only my salary.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Cut that out! [LAUGHTER.]
My paper wanted a story, not a joke.
Where'd you get that story anyway? -Bought it from my barber.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well at least you got a good haircut.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Now listen.
There's something tricky going on here, and I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
[SMASH.]
That hasn't happened to me since Carnegie Hall.
[LAUGHTER.]
JACK BENNY: I was lying.
It also happened to me later at the Academy of Music in Philadelphia.
[LAUGHTER.]
Sacha, the head waiter, was coming my way and he seemed upset.
-Mr.
Nelson, I have reason to believe you're going to be murdered, so would you mind paying your check now? [LAUGHTER.]
-Never mind that.
Now sit down.
I want to talk to you.
Now look, Sacha.
You know everything that's going on here.
And I want a story from you, and I want it right.
Now come on, give it to me clean.
JACK BENNY: Sacha talked plenty.
According to him, a scientist named Dr.
Renaldo had invented a new atomic bomb called the I bomb, which was one letter worse than the H bomb.
[LAUGHTER.]
Dr.
Renaldo was kidnapped by a gang of spies headed by a who posed as the real Dr.
Renaldo.
The Duchess was really the daughter of the false Dr.
Renaldo, and Sonya was a distant cousin of the real Dr.
Renaldo.
Meanwhile the false Dr.
Renaldo was trying to summon me to negotiate with the real Dr.
Renaldo.
[LAUGHTER.]
I didn't care how fast Sacha talked, because fortunately portions of this program were pre-recorded.
[LAUGHTER.]
Thank you.
Thank you, Sacha, for everything.
I won't forget this.
[LAUGHTER.]
Sacha, come here! Who's he? -Oh, that's Oscar, the informer.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, why is he walking around with that knife in his back.
-Well, he has no friends, and no one will tell him.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Oh Oscar, there's a knife in your back.
-Oh.
[LAUGHTER.]
-You had to tell him.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well he'd have found out anyway when he took his coat off.
[LAUGHTER.]
Oh, here comes the Duchess.
You can go.
I said you can go.
-Oh, a little music for you.
A one, a two, and a-- [MUSIC PLAYING.]
[APPLAUSE.]
-What a ham! [LAUGHTER.]
-Oh, you're still here.
I though you were gone.
-I know you did.
You're not the daughter of Dr.
Renaldo.
Now come clean.
-All right, I'll tell you the truth.
I'm not the daughter of Dr.
Renaldo.
He had no children of his own, so he adopted me.
-How old were you at the time? [LAUGHTER.]
-Kids are cute at that age.
[LAUGHTER.]
But I also found out that you are a distant cousin of the real-- -We're back again.
-Dave missed his bus.
You mind if we join the party? -No.
Why not? -Waiter, bring me a gin fizz.
JACK BENNY: I was particularly suspicious of Dave Miller, the Shriner from Philadelphia.
I noticed from the fuzz on his chin that he hadn't shaved.
The waiter came with the gin fizz.
I didn't like the fuss he made over the fizz.
I didn't like his face, his fuzz, nor his fez.
It was then that the whole case became clear.
[WHISTLING.]
I was ready to break it wide open when the police came in.
-You're all under arrest.
No one is permitted to leave the cafe.
We have definite information that one of you people at this table is Dr.
Renaldo.
-Is is the corrabotist or the scientist? -What difference does it make? -Plenty.
My feet hurt me.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well then stop with those polkas! [LAUGHTER.]
I know the man you're looking for.
He's Dr.
Renaldo.
And he brought a bomb in his coat.
I cannot find the bomb on this man.
-Oh you can't, eh? Stand back! [LAUGHTER.]
There! -Ooh.
You ruin everything.
I told you to keep this formula in your head, not on your head.
[LAUGHTER.]
-He's ready to blow up this whole country! -This is a time bomb! -What time is it set for? -9 o'clock.
-It's 10 seconds to 9 now.
-And a 10, and a 9, and an 8, and a 7, and a 6, and a 5, and a 4, and a 3, and a 2, and a-- JACK BENNY: I am writing this story from Anchorage, Alaska.
[LAUGHTER.]
I had intended to write it from my office in Pismo Beach, but unfortunately when the bomb went off, I was pointing in the wrong direction.
[LAUGHTER.]
-Well, hi Jack! -Hedy! What are you doing in Alaska? -Well, I live here! This is for the Texans.
-Oh for heaven's sake.
ANNOUNCER: In just a moment, you'll meet Eddie Albert, Steve Corliss, Maureen O'Sullivan, Charlie Ruggles, and Jill Corey in preview of next week's exciting Climax! program.
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Ladies and gentleman, next on the Climax!, Let it be me.
Facing loss of prestige and financial ruin, a famous music personality accepts the easy compromise of bribes, but in so doing brings disillusion, even death, to those who trust and love him.
Eddie Albert plays the part of Barney Candor, the Payola king.
Barney's protege, Pete, is played by Steve Forrest.
-What are you, a choir boy? In every business, somebody gets paid for giving out favors.
What do you want me to do? Wait for Christmas? Somebody gave me gold cigarette case with rubies.
Who needs it? I don't smoke.
-There's a big difference, Barney.
A present is to say thank you.
A payola is a bribe.
-Get out of here, you-- -Who else could get a man to jump out of an 18 story window? That's payola nobody can top.
You're the undisputed wearer of the crown.
BILL LUNDIGAN: Maureen O'Sullivan plays the part of Barney's wife, Miriam.
Charlie Ruggles is the song plugger, Dan Gennesse.
Jill Corey plays Linda Wallace, the Golden-- the girl whose golden voice has sold 2 million records.
Next week on Climax!, Let It Be Me, written by Eileen Robert Mason Pollock especially for Climax!.
And starring Eddie Albert, Steve Forrest, Maureen O'Sullivan, Charlie Ruggles, and Jill Corey.
With special guest appearances by Johnny Desmond and the High Lows.
And Jill Corey will present for the first time on Climax! the new Columbia recording, Let It Be Me.
This is Bill Lundigan saying thank you and remember let safety share your ride.
ANNOUNCER: Shower of Stars was presented by Chrysler Corporation, the forward look.
Art Gilmour speaking.
Portions of the preceding program was pre-recorded.