Signed Sealed Delivered (2014) Episode Scripts

N/A - From Paris With Love

1 Hi.
Did you ask to speak with the owner? Uh, yeah.
Is there something wrong with the food? No, it's great looking Uh Great eating, the food.
The food is good.
I just have a few questions about Donatello's.
Are you a food critic? No.
I write a blog about being single, and 30 and unemployed, and miserable.
I don't allow 'miserable' in my place.
I'm Joey.
Caitlyn.
You know, life can surprise you.
I always thought that I'd be a journalist or a stand up comedian or the patron Saint of unmarried female bloggers.
[Guests laugh] But I never thought I that I would ever be Italian or so happy.
[Guests applaud] Forever.
Forever.
[Clink] [Crowd murmurs] Here, here.
[Guests applaud] "I'm yours" by Stevie wonder Ah, ooo.
Thank you.
As Miss Colorado Special Delivery, it has been my honor to inaugurate numerous automated stamp dispensers throughout the Metro Denver area.
But no ceremony seems quite as aus Auspicious.
Boding well for the future.
Right, quite as auspicious as today's dedication of the South Logan street autostamp machine! And the crowd goes wild! - Ahh! - [Applauding lightly] Shane: Whooo! It is fre-ezing out.
Am I mistaken or is it your birthday today? You are mistaken.
It's next Monday.
So, there's still time to shop.
Oh, good.
And FYI, I've already got a giant pair of golden scissors.
Oh, these are for Rita's ribbon cutting.
Oliver wrote me a beautiful speech I think.
You're going through with it? It's going down to eight degrees on Wednesday.
You'll freeze your a Crown off.
- [Laughter] - No rain nor wind nor snow, no dark of night, Ms.
Mclnerney, hmm? When will this winter end? It just goes on and on and on Yes, but just wait.
You haven't yet experienced your first Colorado spring.
Trust me, once you've seen the cherry blossoms bloom in April along the Potomac river, nothing else compares.
Unless it's springtime in the Rookies.
Ohh, I love that song! What song? [Oliver sings] When it's springtime in the Rookies, I'll be coming home to you.
Little sweetheart of the mountains, with your Bonnie eyes so blue [Clears throat] Or something like that.
Hmm, well, Oliver O'Toole, the singing postal detective.
What's this? Oh, uh, seems to be secondary transfer of organic material via footwear.
[Sniff] Oh, yeah, I guess somebody stepped in some Thank you, Norman.
[Clears throat] Postmarked two years ago, Caitlyn-something.
- The address is virtually unreadable.
- [Tear!] Ooo, divorce papers.
Ms.
Mclnerney! You have a distressing habit of opening packages without my express permission.
- This cannot continue.
- The address was hopeless.
Your promise, please Fine.
I promise.
- [Buzz!] - Incoming! Heads up down there! That guy from international misdirects is so aggressive.
I got this.
Ohh Oh, seems to be something caught in the corner.
A coin, I believe.
A ring, oh.
Joey, you two have been together What? Six, seven years? Count to ten before you mail that.
Once it's out there, you can't take it back.
[Shane] Ouch.
That guy really must have wanted to get divorced.
I mean, once you take the ring off the finger there's really no hope What are those? Little curlicues? No, those are intertwined initials.
See, there's a "J" and a "C.
" "C" for Caitlyn and "J" for ? Ooh, I've seen rings like this before! There's a whole street of boutiques in Larimer square and they make custom jewellery right in their studios.
Well, the inscription, I'm assuming, is their wedding day, it's nine years ago.
There's a partial date here.
These divorce papers were drawn up two years ago.
Whatever it was, they're divorced now, so, what's the rush.
Ours is not a question of 'why', Ms.
Mclnerney.
"The seeds of duty know not the flower nor its blooming day.
" Who wrote that? Well It's a line from a verse I composed in high school Um about mail delivery, actually.
The singing detective philosopher poet.
Where does it all end? Norman! - Oh no.
- What? [Sigh] Maybe it rolled away when we emptied the bin.
Considering the condition of the envelope, it's a miracle it didn't fall out a long no! No! No! No! No [Door slams shut] Be honest, Oliver, you think we're gonna die in here.
And you're writing your will, aren't you? Uh, no.
Times such as this provide one with a certain clarity.
Well, the ring is here somewhere.
As soon as we find it, we can locate the jeweller.
[Shane] I did not open it.
Honestly, I'm just sorry that I ever looked at Holly's address in the first place because Because Because until that moment when I saw her name and her street number, she was just a concept: The mysterious absent wife in Paris.
Now, there's a real envelope in your pocket that could be delivered to a real person.
It's funny, remember the day we first met? I had a letter I was afraid to open.
And now you have a letter that you're afraid to mail.
I am not afraid to Mail this letter.
[Thunder rumbling] A craftsman who values his work will certainly keep records Don't you think, Ms.
Mclnerney? Ms.
Mclnerney? [Door squeeks] Hmm [] [] [Beeping] What a great idea, Norman.
- Hmm? - Oh.
Oh, I took this to the park once and found all types of cool stuff Like A spoon And a a knife.
Oh, would have been nice to find a fork.
Maybe when the snow melts we could take it to the park and you could show me how it works.
Oh, well, um.
.
[High pitched beep] [High pitched beeping] Ah! Ta-da! Great! Nicely done, Norman! Here's a list of jewellery shops.
Thank you Rita.
In the absence of Ms.
Mclnerney, would you care to accompany me? Oh, sure, yeah.
I'll just get my coat.
[Yelp!] Shh! Rita? Oh, umm, I Just remembered I have to umm Sing? [Whispers] Speak? Oh, practice! Practice my speech! I have to practice my speech.
Maybe you could take Norman? Oh, alright.
Norman, would you like to look at wedding rings? Yes, this is one of ours.
Oh, excellent! Whew! Just in time.
You're the last one on the block.
Were you hoping to have it resized? Oh, no, I'm already Uh She and I Uh It's a long story? Love is a mystery.
Clearly.
But, in the meantime, we'd like to locate the owner of this ring.
We're hoping you keep records of your clients.
Out of the questions, our records are confidential.
Did we mention the part about being an elite task force with wide powers of postal discretion? Like The Avengers The Incredibles.
Well, we're The Postables.
Did we mention that part? Twice.
Just leave it with us and we'll see that it's returned.
I'm sorry, this is now a matter for the US Postal Service.
You will just have to trust us.
You're going to have to do better than that.
[Squeak] [Shane] Because I really need an extra-large americano with a double shot of espresso and a side of steamed low-fat milk with two pumps of amaretto right now.
Okay? Rita, can you keep a secret? Probably not.
I'll try, but stuff comes out.
You're gonna have to stretch yourself.
Come on.
Okay.
I found this in international misdirects this morning.
It looks a lot like a letter that Oliver mailed to Holly a few months ago.
Oh, wow.
If it's what I think it is, it never arrived in Paris.
So, he probably thinks she never bothered to answer him.
And Holly probably thinks that Oliver never bothered to find her.
Oh, wow.
That's assuming it his letter.
But we can't be absolutely sure unless Unless you open it.
Which you promised you would never do Which is why you gave it to me Oh, I can't.
He'll kill me.
He won't kill you.
You're Miss Special Delivery, you're the holy grail of first class mail, you're dying to open it Too? [Sigh] [Paper tears] Oh, geez, it's really a mess.
Okay, let me see.
It looks like "dear" "Dear" someone.
Oh, "so much time has passed " [Oliver] And there is so much to say and perhaps little time left to say it.
I currently find myself in a position where my life may be at risk.
"There was never a better Example of that than the night we met.
" Oh How did they meet? In a snowstorm, on a mountain pass.
Holly's car went off the road and Oliver dug her out of the snowdrift, right before Holly's car rolled off the side of the cliff.
Then they spent the night in his Jaguar waiting for the snowploughs to get through and rescue them.
[Scoffs] You gotta be kidding me.
He's practically a hero.
He kept her from freezing.
Well, I bet he did.
Well, she said he was a perfect gentleman.
So, is it his? Okay "I suppose I should not have been surprised " [Oliver] I have a feeling that from the day we met, you began leaving me.
What I knew of the world could never compete with your dreams of discovering it for yourself, of travelling the uncharted course, of living the bohemian life of artist and poet.
[Shane] "If you have left me behind forever, I will accept that.
But if you regret your decision and simply do not know how to find your way home, then come back.
I am here willing to try again, to see your dreams through your eyes.
Until I hear from you, I remain faithfully Oliver.
Wow, it definitely is his.
He wanted her back.
[Keyboard typing] [Click] Well, she's still living in Paris.
The address label is printing out now.
Are you sure you want to mail this? I'm not mailing it It's up to Oliver.
But I'm sure he doesn't want to waste any more time Wow.
- Wow.
- What? Well, it seems that Holly has a Ms.
Mclnerney? How did it go? It didn't go.
We went to four different jewellers, finally found the right one, and then He didn't like us.
Impossible.
Everyone likes you.
Well, they should, anyways.
Ms.
Mclnerney, perhaps your computer might be of some service.
Oh, yes, sure.
Uh, let me see, [click] Let me see the inscription on the ring again.
[Typing] Okay, I have an idea, with so little data, it could take a day or two but I can program a search for weddings recorded on the day inscribed here screening for the parameters Caitlyn and the husband's initial J [Rita gasps] No! Norman! - [Whoosh!] - Uh-oh - What's going on? - Nothing! Norman just put a regular airmail envelope into the overnight express tube.
Oh, that's a small mistake.
Some fortunate person will simply receive their letter tomorrow instead of next week.
I suppose worse things have happened, hmm.
Right.
[Nervous laughing] Oh, worse things.
Yup, much worse.
Upbeat song in French [Ramon] Ladies and gentlemen, it is my very personal honor to introduce the first lady of the United States Postal Service in the great state of Colorado The beautiful, talented, the postal! Miss Rita Haywith.
[Crowd applauds] Good morning and thank you werry, [deep exhale] Fery oh, I'm sorry, I think my lips just froze Allow me.
Oh.
Why, thank you Ramon.
As Miss Colorado Special Delivery, it has been an honor to inaugurate numerous automated [Giggles] Oh, thank you.
Whenever our paths cross with Mr.
Rodriguez, he seems intent to make an impression upon on our Rita.
He's very popular these days.
He's KBC's new weatherman, now, and I heard he may get his own talk show.
Oh, talk show? But who knows what he's even talking about? Truly, there is still room for we, the American [Shivers] This is ridiculous! I'd give anything to be in Miami right now.
Yesterday, you wanted to be in Washington Anywhere but here.
Washington, Miami Paris.
There's always April in Paris.
And autumn in New York and, well, you could move to a remote island in the Pacific and avoid the cold altogether, Ms.
Mclnerney.
I believe a hard winter like this teaches us to find signs of hope in the smallest of things.
You see a Robin on the window sill, a crocus peeking out of the snow, and you never take spring for granted again.
When I was little we had one of those old fashioned porch swings I used to swing on it for hours all summer long.
But in November, before the first snow, we'd take it down and put it in the garage.
And then a few months later I'd be walking home from school and there it would be again.
And I always knew when the swing was back up on the porch, spring was almost here.
Well, it's almost as good as the robin, I suppose.
[Rita] United States Postal Service.
Thank you.
[Crowd applauds] You wrote a very lovely speech, Oliver.
Thank you.
Oh, okay.
[Rita giggles] Oliver, there's something I should have told you about.
Well, it can't be that bad.
It's only Wednesday, you usually save the bad things for a Friday.
[Nervous laugh] No, this is bad.
My bad.
The letter you wrote to Holly, and mailed at the hospital last summer, in the rain.
It came back.
It was quite damaged, you say? Yes.
And someone opened it? I didn't.
I'm just the one who mailed it, accidentally.
I read it.
Some of it To confirm whose it was.
You promised me you would never again read the contents of a letter without receiving my approval.
Well, technically, I opened it.
But I made her do it.
We're sorry, Oliver.
We just care about you, that's all.
Don't we? I do.
I care about all kinds of things.
My wife is receiving this letter today that I wrote months ago, and it's too late to do anything about it.
Umm, there's more? Ms.
Mclnerney, I don't believe I can take any more right now.
Please excuse me.
Perhaps you should turn your attention to that computer program you so strongly believe That you believe in so In which you so strongly believe.
[Beep, beep!] [Car engine starts] [Oliver] Don't be frightened.
We'll get through this.
The secret is to stay awake.
[Wind howling] Maybe if we keep talking, that will help, hmm? First things first.
I'm Oliver O'Toole.
I work with the Dead Letter Office for the United States Postal Service.
Getting any warmer? [She murmers] I'm sorry? I think we're going to die in here.
No, no.
I would not let that happen.
[Knocking!] Oliver, the program kicked out a name.
The divorce papers were mailed to a Caitlyn Castelluci.
She runs a restaurant on south Broadway.
Taste the wine You haven't said a word in twenty minutes.
Are you going to forgive me? Two? Oh, no, we're looking for a Caitlyn Castelluci.
She's not here.
Can I help you? I'm Oliver O'Toole, from the US Postal Service.
We have a delivery for her.
I'm her husband.
- I can take it - I'm sorry, did you just say, you're her husband? Yeah.
Where did you get that? It was mailed two years ago.
It got lost I know.
Listen, she has no idea these ever existed.
Please Don't deliver that to her.
You mailed this two years ago, to your wife? Yes.
No.
Not exactly.
I never told her about it.
Listen, if she never gets it, what's the difference? And technically, it's still mine, right? Actually, it's now the property of the post office.
I can see its delivery may cause some distress, but my hands are tied here.
I wish there were A way of making this easier on you When will your wife be coming back? Tomorrow.
She's driving back from California from a wine auction.
She'll be here at six.
Perhaps if we come back after that, you'd have a little time to prepare.
Yeah.
You are a lot of things, Oliver O'Toole.
Opinionated, a perfectionist, basically a human antique.
But I never figured you for a hypocrite.
I beg your pardon? You stood right there and refused to let that man decide what to do with those old divorce papers.
But less than an hour ago you wanted the same chance to decide what to do with your letter to Holly.
My letter should have been processed and mailed, and treated the same as any other dead letter.
Oh, right My quarrel with you is that you broke your promise to me.
You opened that envelope on the pretext of locating an I.
D.
when, in fact, it was to, once again, satisfy your curiosity.
That is not fair.
I was just trying Ms.
Mclnerney, you obviously do not share my commitment to putting your heart and soul into doing your job well.
Into doing the one thing right in my life that Oh, huh.
[Mouthing words] I was thinking about that metal detector idea that you had.
Feel this, it's cashmere.
Ah, um Cashmere blend.
Actually pretty cheap.
Rayon and a little bit of polyester.
Still, Ramon does have excellent taste, don't you think? I don't think about Ramon very much.
Hmm.
[Machinery noise] You said earlier today that there was more I needed to know.
When I was checking for Holly's address, her name came up in a video on YouTube.
On what? YouTube, it's uh Never mind.
It's a video of a bunch of French people in a bookstore reading poetry, I think.
Look.
Mesdames et messieurs.
Un poeme par ma incroyable copine, Holly O'Toole.
"La nuit de neiges" [speaking French] The whole thing is in French.
She always wanted to learn French.
Do you speak French? No.
Well, Rita called someone she knows.
Yeah, he said we could drop by his office tomorrow.
Is it a professor of French literature? [Angrily] No.
[Ramon] And, over here we have northern Colorado, very cold, too cold for me, too cold for you.
He's pointing to Idaho.
Thank you, Ramon.
Any chance we'll get enough powder to hit the slopes this weekend? [Chuckles] Oh, no, no.
But probably, yes.
Well, that's it from all of us at KBC afternoon update.
In the kitchen with Merry Lynne is up next.
[Director] And, we're out! [Bell rings] Thank you, everybody.
[Ramon] Miss Rita and her little friends.
Such a pleasure.
When I said I was at your service, miss Rita, I meant it with all my heart.
But my heart could never imagine that you would need my services so soon.
Oh, well, I never thought I'd need to be serviced so soon.
Ovilear! - Ramon.
- Always such a pleasure.
Have you and the lovely Shane continued your dancing together? Well You were my best students.
It's such a natural rhythm [boisterous laughs] between you two.
You can't teach that, you know.
Hmm.
I understand you speak French.
I speak all the romance languages.
Really? - Yes.
- Latin? - Of course.
- Portuguese? - I breathe it.
- Romanian.
My mother tongue.
Norman It's clear that Ramon is multilingual.
Shall we proceed? Um, yes, here is the poem.
It's a little hard to hear, so Ah, oohh [Ramon stops abruptly] Uh Mhmm.
Hmm.
[Gasps] Well It's not a very good poem.
The French is poor, the imagery is cliche, and quite frankly it doesn't even rhyme.
But! It has passion.
And what is a poem? It is great passion pushed into little tiny words! Could you tell us what it says? Of course.
It is called "The Night of Snow" "You found me one night on a mountain in the dark, in the snow, the snow that only got deeper, and deeper, and deeper, and deeper " It's deep, we get it.
"Death, whispered to me in the wind 'come away, come away.
' but from a place stronger than death, in winter's very embrace, there you were, searching for me, calling for me You saved my life in a world of snow, but what shall I do with my life now? Now that I can see the sun.
[Deep inhale] Like I said, it's trash.
Garbage.
But passionate garbage.
Now, if you want to hear some great poetry, Miss Haywith, would you accompany me this Saturday to a little soiree of close friends at my old dance studio? Oh, that sounds fun.
It's samba night.
Oh, we're going for coffee at the Mailbox Grille, wanna come? Are you alright? Uhh The poem is about me.
Spring will be a little late this year by Ella Fitzgerald Spring will be, a little late this year a little late arriving, in my lonely world over here.
For you have left me, and where is our April love you have left me, and winter continues cold, as if to say, spring will be a little slow to start, a little slow reviving, that music it made in my heart yes, time heals all things.
[Rita] So, how do you know, like really know, when it's going to rain.
It's something one just feels Well, somebody's got to get back to the DLO.
Okay.
[Whispers] Oliver, we need to talk.
"Death whispered to me in the wind.
" What does that mean? Okay, you guys have five minutes to be weird and then it's back to work.
[Clears throat] Rita, I know it's been a big week, dedicating the stamp dispenser, visiting the weatherman, but we can't fall behind Oh, yes, of course.
It's just, can Ramon finish his story about when he was a cliff diver in Cozumel? You used to be a cliff diver? Oh, yes.
Oh, well, that's scary.
Once we face the things that we fear, they no longer have power over us.
No? No.
Yes.
That's quite profound, actually.
Rita, five minutes.
Oh, okay.
[Music begins playing] 'Baby, you've got what it takes' by Brook Benton and dinah Washington Miss Rita Me? And it takes two lips for fire to melt away the snow.
Well, it takes two hearts a-cooking to make a fire grow and baby, you've got what it takes.
Norman, you are in danger of standing by, letting Rita be swept off her feet.
What can I do? I can't compete with that? Do you realize this is the first time you've ever admitted your feelings for Rita? I told my grandmother, sort of.
She told me to tell her, but I didn't know how.
And now, she's over there, getting swept.
It is hard to ignore a confident man with a broom.
Hmm.
What do I do? Well, you get a better broom.
Hmm.
That's a metaphor, right? Yes, it is.
You know when I was a foster kid, no one ever called me by my real name.
Just nicknames like stormy Norman, bore-man, kid in bed number five.
I didn't tell them what my middle name was, you can imagine what they'd do with Xavier.
- [Light chuckle] - That day when I met Rita and she asked me my name, it just all came out at once.
It was the first time I'd ever told anyone my real name, cause Cause I just felt safe with her.
I believe you are.
Hmm? I'm not in her league.
Norman, love can only survive on swagger and charisma for so long.
Rita needs a man of true substance.
She's holding out for a hero, Norman.
That hero could be you.
And baby, you've got what it takes [Chair creaks] Hi.
I'm Holly.
Would you like a yoo-hoo? Umm, no? Thanks? I usually leave those for Oli Mr.
O'Toole.
I'm his wife, you know.
Uh-huh.
We all thought you were in Paris.
Aww.
Hey, do Norman and Rita still work here? Yes, yes, they do.
And what do you do? Umm Tech support.
Well, good, Oliver can use some help in that department.
I mean, he really is very smart but he never quite got the hang of the Internet.
Well, he's definitely of another time.
Yeah, he's always got a story or a quote for every occasion.
He would have been so fun at parties, if he would go, which he won't, because that's just not who he is.
Well, I'm sort of new around here Lemme give you a tip, okay.
If he goes to a restaurant and he orders clams and red wine, he's very, very angry.
It's hard to imagine Mr.
O'Toole ever being angry enough to eat clams.
[Cheerfully laughing] Really? I guess I just have that effect on him, huh? [Nervous laughter] Want to know the funniest thing about him, that man can kiss.
I mean that was the problem, right.
He'd kiss me and I'd forget every promise I ever made to myself? So [Slow exhale] So? So, I just stopped kissing him and it worked.
I went to Paris.
Now you're back! - Yeah.
- Wow.
Wow.
I mean, when you get a letter like this, what else are you going to do? The things he said in this letter made me realize that [Softly] Hi.
[Softly] Hi.
[Akwardly] Hi! Well, Mr.
O'Toole, I still have some work to do on those divor those papers for Mr.
Castelluci, so Thank you, Ms.
Mclnerney.
I always thought I'd know what I was going to say.
I read your poem.
Which one? How many have you written? I have a whole book of them coming out this fall.
Really? Well done.
You always said you wanted to be a poet.
I've always been a poet.
I just didn't know it.
[Chuckles] [Holly chuckles] Did you mean to do that? What? You just said "know it" and "poet" [Holly chuckles] I'm so sorry, I'm not following.
[Whispering] They're just standing there, talking.
[Whispering] How close are they standing? What are you guys doing? [Shane gasps] Shhh Well, I helped myself to a yoo-hoo, some things never change, right.
Oh, well, I don't know.
You're here.
And if you're here, that means you must have read what I wrote about being willing to change You know, I want to talk.
I do, but it was a long flight and I need to sleep.
Oh, of course.
Uhh, where would you like to do that? I got a room at the Brown Palace.
Ah, you always said you wanted to stay there someday.
Don't look so sad.
Olly, it's going to be okay.
I wrote a poem about that too.
Oh.
Drinks, in the lobby, tonight, ten o'clock? Yes.
Okay.
[Whispering] She's coming! - Oh! - Oh! [Whispering] - Oh! - Oh! Ah, there you are Ms.
Mclnerney.
I'm thinking perhaps it's time to deliver our letter to Ms.
Castelluci.
Well, it's a little early isn't it? It is a restaurant.
We could have an early dinner.
I'm having a rare craving for sardinian clams and a nice glass of an unassuming Brunello.
Oliver, are we going to talk about this? I'm sorry? It just seems a little odd that your missing wife finally came back from Paris and you're having dinner with me.
Well, I thought I could kill two birds with one stone.
Return the letter to Caitlyn and Get some emergency clams? Holly told me about the clam thing.
Ah.
And, what else did she say? Well, she did mention you can change her mind with a Oliver, this has been a terrible shock.
If you have to leave, I can handle Caitlyn and the letter.
To be honest, Ms.
Mclnerney, I can't imagine doing anything else right now.
This is what we do best.
We deliver.
We are good at this, aren't we? Slow night.
Well, the food is marvellous.
I imagine this must be quite the popular place.
Well, we have our good years and our bad years.
Just like a marriage.
I understand that.
We were so crazy about each other.
We had that kind of thing where you tell yourself "this is not the kind of girl I ever thought I'd marry" but then you do.
For the first few years, things were so great.
Then the recession hit us hard.
We almost lost this place.
Catie always found something to cheer us up, make me laugh.
I've actually seen a giant misquito take away my brother Didn't keep him for long Just dropped him off in Topeka Thank you guys so much, you guys have been [Crowd applauds] We had to work six days a week just to keep it together, so we decided to wait to start a family.
[Sigh] I decided.
When we finally felt like we were ready, the doctor told Catie that she couldn't.
And, oh man, that was tough.
After that we just kind of drifted into our own little worlds.
We just stopped being Catie and Joey.
I could see things were starting to fall apart.
Then she started going out Monday nights That's the night we're closed.
I'd stay home and watch football, she went to the movies with the girls, at least that's what she told me.
One Monday night, I followed her She walked in alone, but that's not how she walked out.
We'd both seen it coming, I just thought I'd get it over with.
So, I had the papers drawn up.
I waited a while, I went back and forth.
You know, I almost mailed them, but I couldn't.
Then who did mail them? I did, accidentally.
That's how I got this bum leg.
I got in a fight trying to stop a car-jacking.
A couple of guys beat me up, pretty good.
I almost died.
[Car alarm rings] [Woman screams] Help! Someone help me! You know, the amazing thing Is that she walked into that hospital room two years ago, and she never left my side again.
We got our marriage back.
I never told her I knew what she did.
I forgave her and I moved on.
[Oliver clears throat] You forgave her? Joey, Oliver is very good at his job, and if there's one thing that he's taught me, it's that things happen, all the time.
That at first may seem all wrong, but when we have faith that something greater might be at work, all those things just end up working together for good.
[Clears throat] I think in light of the circumstances, perhaps we can make an allowance and entrust the envelope to you to do with it as you see fit.
Thank you, thank you so much.
That's odd.
I must have left it back at the DLO.
I'm sorry, I have been a bit distracted today Joey! Hey Michael! Get the rest out of my car, and put them in the back.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Mwah! Hi, I'm Caitlyn.
- Hi.
- How's the food? It's delicous.
Oliver! Hey, guess what you guys forgot.
Caityn's letter - No, Norman - Uhh.
Oh, that's for me? Catie, we should talk before you What is this? It's two years old.
Doesn't matter.
You should just throw it You were going to divorce me? It was a mistake.
When did you mail these? It was the night that I got hurt.
So I just spent the last two years nursing a man who was planning to divorce me? I didn't tell you because it doesn't matter.
I forgive you.
For what? What are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about.
No, Joey, I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about.
Two years ago I saw you with another man in a parking lot outside the club You saw me in a parking lot with a man Well, there goes the marriage.
It was more than that and you know it.
You lied to me.
You told me you lost this in the fight.
You lied to me, every Monday for weeks.
Every Monday Oh my gosh.
That man you saw in the parking lot was the owner of the nightclub we used to go to.
Do you remember those open mic nights and how he was always saying he's looking for new talent? Well, I went to go see him.
I'm finding out that when you marry an Italian chef, you have got to know the lingo.
Spaghetti, rotini, rigatoni, crostini, cannelloni, calamari, ravioli, fusili, linguini, eeny-meeny fettuccine.
[Crowd laughs] Do they not eat any food that ends in a consonant? What are they saving the consonants for? And he liked the way I could tell a story, so he said he would coach me.
And I got to thinking, maybe if he could teach me at how to be good at being funny, I could surprise you, take you back that nightclub and watch your face when they'd introduce me and I'd walk up on stage and knock 'em dead.
And then I'd get to see you laugh again.
It's the truth.
I should have told you what I was trying to do, I just didn't want to fail at that [Crying] The way I failed with the baby.
Oh, don't say that Don't say that.
You didn't fail.
I failed you.
I should have I should have told you how I felt, and I didn't, and I almost lost you.
Do you forgive me? Of course.
That's what we do.
[Telephone clink] [Inaudible voice] Yes, Ms.
Holly O'Toole's room, please.
One moment.
[Clink] Where would you like to sit? - Oh, I don't care.
Anywhere.
- Umm.
How about right here? Ooo, I would just love one of those.
Two, actually, please.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
So So [Clink] This feels very strange.
The letter I wrote to you was lost so long ago, I can barely remember what it said.
Well, you said if I came back you would try to see my dreams through my eyes.
That's right.
And you said if I'd left forever, you'd accept that.
I was locked in a bank vault at the time I wrote that, actually So, what are you saying? Do you want me back? Do I want you back? Umm, Holly, I want an explanation.
I want to know why my wife ran away to Paris, never even called.
Never wrote.
Do you have any idea what you put me through? You let me sit here, two years, terrified that maybe something happened to you.
But nothing happened.
Well, lots happened but nothing bad.
That would have been nice to know.
Olly Please don't call me that.
Why did you marry me? What? Why did you marry me? You made me uncomfortable with my life and I thought maybe that's good, maybe my life needs a little shaking up.
And you certainly did that.
You know the first night we met, I was perfectly honest with you.
I told you that I needed to be free.
We were lost in a blizzard.
You were delirious.
You were amazing in that storm.
You loved being my hero and I needed one.
And I learned so much from you, Oliver.
But the biggest thing I learned, the biggest thing Is that if you want to be a grown up, you got to be your own hero.
I'm sorry, I don't understand how leaving your husband at the Pony Express Exhibit at the National Postal Museum can be considered heroic.
Oh, well, heroes can be cowards.
What? I have no idea what you're talking about.
See! That's it.
You leave us alone in a car with only the two of us to heat each other up and we communicate just fine.
But talking, with actual words, we were never very good at that, which is why it's so amazing that in the past two years, I've really learned to express myself.
In two languages apparently.
Can you use one of them to tell me why you came back? To see you.
To find out what I want.
What about what I want? What do you want? [Deep inhale] Peace.
That's beautiful.
No, that's essential.
I don't want to be the first one to say it.
What? Are you talking about divorce? No.
Maybe.
I don't know.
If we say it, we can't take it back.
No, we can't.
And marriage is so sacred, so precious.
Ending it shouldn't be an easy thing to do.
Holly, it's been a long day.
Yes.
I've had a lot of surprises, I've eaten a lot of clams.
Let us not get divorced tonight.
Okay.
We'll talk it over, tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
I'm going to go upstairs.
I think I'm going to write a poem about this.
Good idea.
Song for you by Adam Woodall Band Going my way? Ah, Ms.
Mclnerney.
You're in early.
I couldn't sleep.
Neither could I.
Come on up here with me.
Com'on.
Come on.
[Clears throat] So, do you know what you're going to do? I'd like to do the right thing.
You always do.
No No, I don't.
I waited more than a year to write her a letter because I just There is so much I could have done and I didn't.
[Deep inhale] And I don't know why.
Because it hurt.
And it froze you up.
You're like the snowman I saw in the park on my way in this morning.
He's just stuck there, left behind by someone who made him that way.
All he can do is wait for the thaw before he can change.
But then he melts.
You haven't forgiven her, have you? [Deep breath] Forgiveness is doing the right thing, Oliver.
That has to happen first and then you'll just Know what to do next.
You are, surprisingly good at this.
Well, I learned from the best.
Some singing postal detective philosopher guy who believes in spring and doing the right thing.
"Spring.
" "Thing.
" Hmm.
You know, they found a 5600 year old popcorn kernels that were still poppable, buried in an ancient Peruvian funeral urn.
Oh.
Hey, you guys made it! - We did.
- This is so exciting.
Kinda like returning to the scene of the crime.
Yeah, I just thought, what better place to celebrate, right? Where's Oliver? Oh, he had a last-minute dinner and he sends his best.
Oh, that's too bad, he would have been perfect.
For what? For Ken.
The owner guy.
He's the MC and he likes to warm up the audience.
But he got a flat tire.
And comedians don't like to go on cold, so it's going to be a little bit of a wait.
Oh, that's a shame.
Hey, what about Ramon! He's really good at introducing people and talking to crowds.
- Ramon? - My friend, Ramon Rodriguez.
Oh, the weatherman! Mhmm.
Oh, the show must go on, right? Rita, you're Miss Special Delivery, you get up there.
What? I can't! I don't know what to say.
You speak in public all the time.
But Oliver writes my speeches.
I can't just go up there and be funny.
It's too scary.
Remember what Ramon says? "Once we face our fears, they no longer have power over us.
" Ramon said that? Oddly, yes.
I just have this feeling it's really important for the audience to get warmed up, and get things going.
I think Joey really needs this [Microphone rings] [Nervously] Hi My name is Norman.
Norman Norman Xavier Dorman.
I'm not a comedian or anything like that, but while we're waiting for the show to start, you have to get warm, so I thought I would talk a little while you do that.
[Audience laughs] So, I know a lot of stuff about unusual stuff.
Like polyester, and barbed wire, and well, let's see.
Floridian beekeeping, well, Southern Florida [Lights match] So someone read them, and gave them to a publisher, and voila You are a poet.
Yeah, of sorts.
I mean, let's face it, I'm not a very good poet.
But I love it.
It takes me out of my head and puts me back in my heart.
I wrote a poem about us last night.
Oh.
[Clears throat] Umm, before you read it, I want to say how sorry I am.
That I took so long to come back, I shouldn't have waited but the longer I waited the further away the route home seemed.
But I'm here now, and I just hope that we can I don't know Should I read it, now? [Deep breath] [Deep breath] Is this what you want? Yeah.
[Crowd applauds and laughs] And religious relics of the amish, holy plows, sacred spindles.
And, I also know all the retired zip codes of North America And I bet you're wondering why.
[Crowd yells] Yeah, why? Well, I work at the Dead Letter Office at the US Postal Service downtown and we get to figure out where all the lost letters and boxes go.
Oh, one time we got a giant bear, and someone's old dead ashes Oh, thank you! You've been a wonderful audience! - Stay warm! - [Audience applauds] Norman Dorman What a funny, funny guy.
Okay.
Norman, that was You blew everyone away.
Some people talk about the weather And some people make it.
[Emcee] So, we have a special guest tonight.
Uh, a few years ago, she came to me to learn the ropes because she wanted to surprise her husband with her own act.
They've been through some rough times but they're finally here.
So, please let's put our hands together and welcome to the stage Her husband, Joey Castelluci.
[Audience applaudes] You're kidding.
[Audience applauding] [Microphone rings] Hi, a few years ago my wife started coming here because she wanted to surprise me.
Caitlyn, you are the most amazing woman in the world.
You came here a long time ago to learn how to make me laugh.
And I'm here tonight to make you a deal.
If you put this ring back on my finger, I promise you, I will never take it off again.
Caitlyn Castelluci, will you marry me One more time? [Audience applaudes] [Audience chants] Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
[Audience cheers and applauds] A funny thing happened on the way to our divorce.
We fell back in love April in Paris by Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong Dance with me? Really? Since when did you learn how to dance? You asked me to, remember? April in Paris, this is Gosh, you really did it.
I tried so hard but you wouldn't do it for me.
And I thought I could talk you into anything.
If I remember, I could talk you out of anything.
I never knew the charm of spring, never met it face to face I never knew my heart [Whispers] Don't kiss her.
Don't kiss her.
Never missed a warm embrace till April in Paris Whom can I run to? What have you done to my heart? In the wee small hours, of the morning When the whole, wide, world, is fast asleep You lie awake, and think about the boy and never even think of counting sheep When the whole, wide, world has learned it's lesson He'd be yours - Shane? - [Gasp!] You scared me.
Why are you putting your stuff in a box? I wrote you a letter.
I'm leaving.
I'm moving away.
What? I just realized that I don't really belong here anymore.
No.
Of course you do.
Are you going back to Washington DC? No, I'm quitting the postal service for good.
How could that be good? I love you both so much.
This is not how I wanted to say goodbye.
Wait, I don't understand.
What happened? Nothing.
Nothing finally happened.
Don't let nothing happen to the two of you.
Okay? [Soft kiss] What about The Postables? [Holding back tears] Oh, Norman.
We'll always have The Postables.
[Rita weeps softly] "Dear friends, I can't tell you how much it has meant to me to spend this last year with all of you It's funny what lessons I've learned about living by delivering a dead letter.
About saying the things we mean And finding the right words to say them.
" "But somehow I can't seem to find the right words to explain why I'm saying goodbye.
Just know that it's for the best.
Always, Shane" What is she talking about? Holly.
Holly? What does Holly have to do with this? Oh, Norman.
When two people who truly care about each other don't tell each other that they truly care about them, then the person they care about can think they don't care about them and then they find someone else who cares about them and then it's too late.
I know this doesn't make any sense Oh, no, it does.
It does? You always make sense to me, Rita.
I do? Are you in love with Ramon? Ramon? No! No, no, I'm I'm I'm in love with you.
I am in love with you, Norman Xavier Dorman [Burst out laughing] Are you hungry? [Rita laughs] Yeah.
I'm starving.
[Rita laughs boisterously] When your lonely heart has learned its lesson You'd be his, if only he would call.
What on earth? Oliver, what is ? What is ? An early birthday present.
If you put your weapon down, I'll let you have a swing on it.
This is mine! Being dispatched with my favourite letter opener.
Now that is poetic justice.
Can we please not discuss poetry right now? How long have you been here? Hour and a half.
It would have been less, but I had to stop to explain to a couple police officers why I was installing a porch swing at 2 am.
Why were you? The reason why that box contains the entire contents of your workstation? I've quit.
You've quit? I have ended my employment with the United States Postal Service forever and unalterably and forever.
Hmm.
What? I've really quit.
No, you haven't.
I have too.
Ms.
Mclnerney, you have a habit of self-terminating whenever confronted with a situation you cannot control.
Well, I'm really going to do it this time.
But why? Well, we've been together, working together, for almost a year and it's becoming obvious that there's just no future for me with The job.
Of course there is.
It just takes time to get to know each other, each other's strengths and abilities and to see if we have the right chemistry To work together.
Well, I think I've seen enough to know where this is going and I think maybe theres someone better for the job.
If you recall, Ms.
Mclnerney, the position didn't even exist until you came along.
I don't think I even realized what a huge hole I had in my department until you came and filled it.
Well, now you know and I'm sure you won't waste any time replacing me.
That would be impossible.
Well, I've made up my mind.
I wish you nothing but happiness, Oliver.
Both of you.
Both of Ms.
Mclnerney, my wife has returned to Paris.
What? We wished each other well, kissed each other good-bye.
You kissed her good-bye? Yes.
And that didn't No, that did not.
So, how do you feel? You know, for two years I've imagined what it might be like if it became absolutely clear that my marriage was over.
Once all the questions were answered and I knew I would never be Holly's husband again, how would I feel? What would I do? What did you do? [Softly speaking] I went out and I bought a porch swing.
[Chuckle] Is it like the one you had when you were a little girl? It's better.
There's no view of the Potomac, of course, but if you look right there [Shane] A crocus.
It was a long winter but spring is almost here.
It's coming.
It's coming.