Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) Episode Scripts

N/A - Friendenemies; Is Mystery

1 [" I'm from Another Dimension" by Brad Breeck plays] It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another, woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [song ends] [banging on doors] Hey, Marco.
Can I get your help with something? Can't help right now.
I just found out there's a Mackie Hand movie marathon tonight, - and I can't miss it.
- Ooh.
Who's Mackie Hand? He's the greatest martial-arts superstar who ever lived.
He died 30 years ago while performing one of his own stunts on himself.
Come on, come on, come on [inhales deeply] Ooh!! [groaning] - What is it? What's wrong? - It's sold out.
I'm sorry, little guy.
[muffled] It's okay.
It was just a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Don't worry.
I'm sure there's a chance you can still get a ticket.
Good things don't happen to me.
[whoosh, gasps] Hey.
What's up? - BOTH: Tom? - What are you doing here? Actually, I was wondering if we could hang out.
No, no, no.
A million times no! Not with you, Star.
I meant with Marco.
- Huh? Uh no? - Oh.
Okay then.
Guess I'll just find somebody else to go with to the Mackie Hand movie marathon.
Wha-huh? What? Wait, you're a fan of Mackie Hand? - I'm a super fan.
- Why do you want to go with me? I really thought we connected that one time.
- Over ping-pong? - You kidnapped me.
Look, I know I've been a little aggro in the past, and I'm sorry.
I promise not to get mad this time.
[grunting] - Star, what is he up to? - I think you should go with him.
He's obviously trying to bury the hammer or whatever.
"Bury the hatchet.
" Well, the marathon is all the way on the other side of town, so are you coming or not? [music] - Whoa! - Let me just give you a tour.
Giddy up, skeleton horse! [whinnies] So here it is.
We got six flat-screen TV's, a photo booth, karaoke machine.
Is that a white tiger? [purring loudly] And up here is the lounge.
Have a seat in the throne.
Are you comfortable? Can I get you anything? Some cereal perhaps? Look, you're being super nice to me right now, and you're never nice to me? What's this really all about? Wha I'm just a huge fan of Mackie Hand.
What's your favorite Mackie Hand movie then? - Uh, it's [stammering] - I knew it! You don't know the first thing about kung-fu.
- I'm outta here.
- No, no, no, wait, wait.
It's just because I have two favorites.
Hand To Hand To Hand, and Hand To Hand To Hand 2.
And now that I'm saying it, I'm gonna have to go with the original.
Yeah, you're right.
That is the best one.
But not the English version.
I'm talking about the original in Swedish.
I guess you do like stuff.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, I get it, I get it.
It can be hard to break through people's preconceptions of me.
That's why I don't have many friends.
I haven't even been to a movie marathon before.
[engine revving] Hey, where did you pick up your sweet ride? At a funeral home? Are you gonna go pick up someone's dead grandpa and hold a respectful service for him? [groans] You think you guys are fast? I can guarantee that we'll beat you to the next light without even breaking a sweat.
What are ya, chicken? BOTH: Whaaat?! - Bro.
- Bro.
- Bro! - You're on, punk.
[tires squealing] - Oh, I'll show them.
- No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
[siren blaring, police radio chatter] Those guys are going to jail.
[raucous laughter] Oh, that was that was so much more fun - than obliterating people.
- Yeah! This whole thing reminds me of one of my favorite songs, "Awesome Feeling.
" Wait, wait, wait.
Isn't that a song by Love Sentence? [humming song] Uhhhh.
- Yeah? - Come with me.
No way! [gasps] You have a signed picture of you and Justin Towers? I also have a vintage five-disc CD player with automatic shuffle.
Awesome feeling [music] Nothing's gonna take us down At first I turned my head But then you really turned my day around Awesome feeling We started out as friendnemies But found that we have chemistry And you were like ooo-aa ooo And I was like ooo-eee-ooo White tiger's like ooo-aaa oooo All right! [both laughing] Man, I can't believe I'm actually having a good time with you.
I know.
Right? Heck, I could just skip that whole movie marathon and Oh, my gosh.
Oh, the marathon! - What time is it? - Don't freak out.
It starts in ten minutes?! What the heck? Hey, can you unlock the door? Actually, I can't let you leave yet.
What? But we gotta go.
We're gonna be late.
Couldn't we just chill here for, like, another four-and-a-half minutes? - No.
Seriously, let me go.
- Please.
Just wait a little longer.
What is wrong with you? I said let me go! And I said wait! [whistle blows] MAN: Sorry, Tom.
That's an instant fail for you.
Hey, you almost made it this time.
No, no! Wait, wait! You gotta give me a second chance.
Okay, seriously, what is going on here? Dude, I cleaned your litter box.
Well, Master Tom here was just about to earn his anger management graduation badge.
All he had to do was spend three hours alone with the person he hated the most without blowing up.
But you, you had to be selfish.
You could wait another four minutes and 15 seconds! All you care about are your precious karate movie tickets.
Well, guess what.
[gasps] Mackie Hand movies are garbage.
Are you kidding me? You lied to me about being a Mackie fan, and pretended to be my friend so you could earn some badge? Dude, you're a jerk and a liar, and that's not even the worst part.
I was dumb enough to fall for it! [panting] Marco, wait.
I do like Love Sentence.
That part wasn't a lie.
Too little, too late.
Which is my second-favorite Love Sentence song, by the way.
Oh, girl, you know I never mean to hurt ya When you're sad you know I'd never desert ya Mm-mmmm You're my angel My beautiful dove We spiraled high on a gust of love BOTH: # And I knew right from the start # Nothing could tear us apart Till the day you broke my heart And now it's too little too late Ooh, ooh [unintelligible chanting] Eesh, what a drama queen.
It's it's Mackie Hand! Oh-oh! I took quite a tumble there.
How long was I out? I hope I didn't make us fall too far behind shooting schedule.
But Mr.
Hand, I can't believe it's really you.
Say, you must be the new PA.
Kevin, right? Nice to meet you.
Oh, my gosh.
I wish I had something for you to sign.
Eh, don't sweat it.
I gotcha covered.
Hold still.
There you go.
Tom, I can't believe you brought Mackie Hand back from the dead just for me! That was that was cool of you.
Wait, I'm dead? Three for the Mackie Hand marathon, please.
What does the sign say? Wait, but do you know who this is? This is the Mackie Hand in the flesh.
Nice costume, but no one gets in without a ticket.
Now shove off, grandpa, before I have to get physical.
[music] Hey! You! You were right.
This guy's for real.
I told you.
I still don't like you, Tom.
I still don't like you, too, Marco.
[squeals] Is mystery.
How is there hole in Newman force field? Maybe better question is, who make hole? They find weakness in Newman magic.
Could be huge advantage for all monsters.
Help my babies have future.
You do realize that when you're writing, you're talking out loud.
Uh oh, thank you.
I didn't realize I was [groaning] [gasps] Hey, rat, what is this place? [angry squealing] [struggling] There's only one way outta here, and it's through me.
- Uh, okay, but I did not ask to leave.
- [groaning] Nice try, pal, but you're not gonna talk your way outta here.
'Cause the only way [groaning] out of here is is through me.
[groaning] Okay, but [groaning] What is this? [screaming] [whistles] Hm? Oh.
This could feed a lot of monsters.
So where does all this delicious corn go? To the grinder.
Hey, stop the thing.
[groaning] - Why does he have to yell? - Hands.
I will not.
Okay, I will.
Get to work, frog man.
What are ya waiting for? Get moving! [groaning] So tell me, where does all this corn go after we grind it? - It goes in the hole.
- Why? 'Cause if we don't, we get thrown down that hole.
No, no, no.
I mean, where does it go.
It goes in the hole.
Okay, we established that.
But then what? Then we eat dinner.
No, the corn! I'm talking about the corn! - Where does the corn go? - Oh, the corn.
It goes in the hole.
[frustrated stammering] Yes, the corn goes in the hole.
So you do know where it goes then.
You know exactly where it goes.
It goes in your pockets.
[nervous chuckle] How did those kernels get in there? The boss doesn't look kindly on those who steal from him.
He wants to see you.
[gasps] The boss wants to see me? - [spits] The - boss! [screaming] No, no, no! Boss? Hey, whoa, whoa, no need to get the boss involved here.
Okay? It's just a few kernels of corn.
No worries.
I got this.
Hey, I'll even make sure to scream all the way down, okay? Enjoy the rest of your day.
Bye! [screaming] [scream fades, then resumes] Must find out who is boss.
No fun! [snoring] [laughing] [music] This guy has own cornfield.
This guy has own cornfie Cornmeal.
[gasps] [squeaking] Unicastle made of corn? Oh! [gasps] - Know why they call me Meat Fork? - Why? [groans] Because it's a family name! I'm not going back to grinder.
- No? - No.
- No?! - No.
[yelling] Nooo?!! No.
Well, then can you please take me with you? - Corn on the cob or creamed corn? - Creamed corn.
- Creamed corn or popcorn? - Popcorn.
- Popcorn or boiled corn? - Popcorn.
- Popcorn or cornbread? - Cornbread.
- Cornbread or steamed corn? - Cornbread.
- Cornbread or roasted corn? - Roasted corn.
- Roasted corn or corned beef? - There's no corn in Green hole.
Did you see that? It worked! [maniacal laughter] Ludo! Hello, Buffrog.
It's been a while old friend.
- You're alive.
- Don't act so surprised.
It makes it seem like you want me dead.
- No, please.
I am father now.
- I know that, you idiot.
I'm the one who gave you those [grunts] You see, girls? This is why I need that book.
Don't know what I'm doing with this thing.
- Gotta go.
- He's getting away! Just swallow it.
[warbling] But I want him to die.
[warbling] Uh, fine.
Spit him out.
I was going to let you die, but my wand told me to give you Meat Fork's old job.
Meat Fork? [groaning] Yeah.
- Meat Fork! - But you don't need monsters now.
You have wand.
Spider, bird, corn.
Yeah, it's pretty sweet.
But you know, there's more to be done.
So what do you say? We gettin' the band back together or what [grunts] Uh.
I'm I'm sorry.
I think you've lost your mind.
[gasps] [screeches] [music] [music] With wand, Ludo more powerful than ever, but more crazy than ever, too.
He make Buffrog intriguing offer.
But did I make right choice for my tadpoles? Have crazy idea, but have to make sure I'm not talking out loud first.
A big black bug bit a big black bear.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Okay, good.
Must warn Star.
I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home