Steven Universe (2013) Episode Scripts

N/A - Know Your Fusion

1 - Garnet: # We # - All: # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # Garnet: # believe in Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # - And then we go into the tricks.
- All right.
But I really think we should save the dogwalker for next time.
This is our first impression.
We gotta go big.
And we should go soon, too, before they get suspicious.
Those two are acting very suspicious.
Should we ask them what's going on? - I can't.
- Right Steven, Amethyst! Is there something you'd like to tell us? So you guys know how we recently had an epic showdown in the beta Kindergarten.
And you know that during it, we beat Jasper.
Both: But do you know who beat Jasper? You two? Peridot.
It didn't land.
Pick it back up.
Pick it back up! Ahem! We have someone we'd like you to meet! All right, let's meet this mysterious stranger.
Heya.
I'm Smoky Quartz.
Nice to meet ya.
- [Gasps] What?! - Oh! Don't bother putting your socks back on, 'cause I'm about to knock 'em off again! [Gasping] [Babbling] Now, you guys can see exactly how I beat Jasper.
This is a little trick I like to call "Walk the Dog"! Wait! Explain everything! [Screaming] This one's called "Jog the Dog"! Oh! No! [Continues screaming] Whoops! Ha! Uh, this one is called "Dog Walking's Just My Day Job Till I Finally Get That Callback"! [Continues Screaming] Garnet, a little help.
Mnh-mnh-mnh! [Gasps] Sardonyx! You know the rules about weapons in the house.
Mostly allowed, really, but with some exceptions.
Oh, what a pleasure it is to meet you.
You've made quite the impression already.
In fact, there's one in the wall over there and there and Uh, sorry.
Looks like I got a bit carried away.
I can, uh reel it in.
Oh! [Laughs] Stop! But really, please stop.
Your act is tremendous.
But your stage is too small.
We need some space to get to know each other.
Somewhere a bit more infinite.
You have a room in the temple? It exists as long as I exist.
And here I am! Come now, don't be shy.
Bwooop! Smoky: I can't see nothing in here.
Sardonyc: You cannot see anything, my darling because the show hasn't started yet! Show? [Footsteps] Live, from a metaphysical room deep in the temple, it's "Sardonyx Tonight"! [Upbeat jazz playing] Good evening, everybody! [Cheers and applause] We have a brand-new fusion with us tonight.
I'm so excited, I could just shatter! [Cat screeches] Everyone welcome Smoky Quartz! [Cheers and applause] So tell me, literally, everything there is to know about yourself.
And do not skip out on any of the juicy details.
[Cheers and applause] [Chuckles] Well, I like, uh, long walks through the Kindergarten.
[Laughter] Actually, that's where I sort of pow became me.
And, uh, pow beat Jasper.
Oh, that Jasper, always running 'round Kindergartens and causing trouble.
Boy, that didn't quite work out for her.
Guess she should go back to preschool, am I right, folks? [Laughter] Yeah.
She lost her mind in a corrupted fusion.
I guess you could say she had a short fuse? [Chuckles] [Laughs] [Chuckles] Easy crowd, huh? Where'd you get 'em? I made them myself.
But, Smoky, I think what we really want to know is who are you? Who is Smoky Quartz? Uh, well, between the fight and now, yeah, I've only really existed for, like, 10 minutes, so, uh I-I don't know.
But I do know how to do this! Uh This one's called "Sad Baby in a Diaper"! Bow! [Applause] Yes, the yo-yo.
Seen it, lived it, loved it! But what about the rest of your game? I ain't exactly a deck of cards here.
[Laughter] Oh! I canlick my elbow.
I have three of them now.
[Makes buzzing sound] We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor! [Snaps fingers] Huh? Listen, Smoky, let's talk fusion to fusion.
That's a nice yo-yo, but I want to know the yo-you.
What? [Giggles] Smoky, there's bound to be way more to you than just a yo-yo.
[Glass shatters] You're a fusion.
You're full of surprises! You just don't know it yet.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess that is how surprises work.
I've got it! [Scream in distance] Every fusion gets something new a new power, a new weapon.
Like a yo-yo? Yes, but better.
Let's find out what's new about you.
[Snaps fingers] [Jazz theme plays] [Cheers and applause] And welcome back! Don't those cartoon characters make you want to buy those products? I sure hope so, or else I'd be off air.
[Laughter and applause] [Laughs] We have a new segment for you all tonight.
That's right, everyone.
It's time to Hit That Bird! [Cheers and applause] During Opal's adventures at the sky spire, she took down a flock of bird monsters with her bow.
Let's see if you've got her "opalescent" aim.
What do you say, Smoky? Are you ready to Hit That Bird? Oh! Ah, well, a bow is kind of like a yo-yo, right? Except if the string went this a ways and Mm-hmm.
Let's start, shall we? Time is an impatient thing! [Squeak] [Grunts] [Groans, grunts] [Squeaks] Oh! [Bell rings] Uh-oh, time's up.
Let's see.
The score tallies to one, two, three zero.
[Audience groans] Guess I'm a real bow-zo, ha.
[Laughter] What do you say we move on to the next segment, everybody? Here we are! I call this segment You Like That, Little Man? 'Cause everybody loves a callback.
[Laughter and applause] She's not actually in this episode.
Do we still have to pay her? Yes? Fair enough.
Now, it's no secret that us fine fusions pack an extra punch.
But Sugilite is a standout for being a heavy hitting powerhouse.
But maybe you've got something to top Sugilite's swing? Mmm, maybe? Just hit the base with this mallet, and we'll see how you measure up.
Okay.
[Spits] [Grunts] That all you got? [Audience groans] Gosh.
Ooh! Very close.
An extra spin around always helps me! [Laughs] [Laughter] An extra spin, huh? Okay.
[Grunts] [Clink] Ha ha! Nice try! What?! One more time! [Grunts] You ain't nothing! [Growls] Hmm, yes.
Something just isn't hitting right here.
Maybe you're just strong In a different way We'll find out in just a moment.
[Applause] Play us over to stage right, Jorge! Uh Okay, don't worry about that crowd.
Don't worry about Jorge.
It's just you and me.
Yeah, no duh.
Actually who's Jorge? Smoky, you're holding out on me.
- I'm ready to see your main event.
- Ah, you and me both.
Now, Alexandrite has a throat full of flames.
Whether that's the cause of her raspy voice is up for debate, but there's no room for questions when she attacks exhaling a burning blaze! So I call this segment "Breath of Fire.
" Sardonyx, I don't know.
Come on, Smoky.
Step up and see if you can spit some elemental chaos at the target.
[Inhaling and exhaling deeply] [Burps] [Laughs] [Chuckles nervously] We seem to experiencing some magical difficulties.
But don't change the channel.
There must be some common thread between Steven and Amethyst that's heightened by their fusion.
I don't know, Sards, I guess, uh, zero plus zero equals zero.
[Laughter] Something they both think.
Something they both do.
They say two wrongs don't make a right I guess I'm living proof that that's true! [Laughter] [Chuckles] I'm just one big super wrong [Laughter grows louder] good-for-nothing dud with a yo-yo.
[Loud laughter] They want to impress us! They were planning this all morning.
We hijacked their show! I was excited! It's not about us! Huh? [Grunts] [Rumbling] [Screams] - What's happening?! - It's Sardonyx! If she's not here, the room can't exist! Garnet! [Grunts] Pearl! [Grunts] [Rumbling continues] [Grunting] [Grunts] Huh? [Grunts] [Thud, all grunting] [All groaning] Sorry for the rough landing.
[Groans] What are you talking about?! That was amazing.
[Laughs] Oh, Amethyst! You've been such a good influence on him! It's kind of the other way around.
You didn't tell us that yo-yo can grapple.
It can do so much stuff! Wait.
So do you use it like a lasso or a flail? It's better than a flail.
It's a toy! Pearl: It's so unexpected.
- Garnet: Give us the play-by-play.
- Amethyst: So, there we were [Wind howling] [Waves crashing]