Suits s01e05 Episode Script
Bail Out
Ross.
Triple double.
Courtesy of America's favorite burger chain.
Louis won the class action suit? Ten thousand men of Harvard Want vict'ry today, For they know that o'er old Eli Fair Harvard holds sway So then we'll conquer all old Eli's men My favorite part.
You don't know the lyrics, do you? I don't even know the lyrics, Louis.
Now, are we practicing law down here or auditioning a chorus line? It's called esprit de corps.
And I just got a $100 million jury award overturned.
I don't have to overturn awards like that because I've never lost one in the first place.
So, what is this? A new cologne? Or just a hint ofjealousy? I'm surprised you, uh, don't recognize your wife's perfume.
I know.
You're not married.
It's still funny.
You do realize we're celebrating making fat people even fatter, right? If you wanted to do good, you should have been a fake doctor.
Business cards.
Yep.
My mistake is now official.
Come with me.
And learn the goddamn lyrics to the Harvard song, will you? Oakhurst Capital has agreed to a $200 million licensing deal.
We are at the goal line.
How are we on brand protection? The contract is airtight.
The only issue here is to get the Joyful Toy Company to close.
I'll go over it with Joy one-on-one.
Protocol in a meeting is to put your phone on silent.
Oh.
Uh If it does ring, you answer it.
Not in here.
Don't feel the need to rush back when you're done.
Who is this? Dude, it's Trevor.
Don't hang up.
Look, I only get one call.
I'm in jail.
I tried to hop this bus at Port Authority.
I was drunk.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
I'm going to pay you back.
Good.
Your bail cost me everything I had in the bank.
The thing is, I don't have the money.
What are you talking about? You were clearing $10,000 a month selling weed.
It went out as fast as it came in.
Came in? I quit.
I'm not dealing anymore.
Bullshit.
I'm serious.
After we fought, things just started to fall apart.
Jenny broke up with me.
I didn't know.
Well, I just realized I needed to make a change.
I even sold my bong.
What have you done with my friend? You should talk.
Look at you.
You look like Gordon Gekko's little brother.
Okay.
Are you working on Wall Street, man? Why did you call me, Trevor? You're the one person I knew would show up.
You want to ask me for anything? Else? Look.
All I care about right now is keeping my record clean.
You don't happen to know any good lawyers, do you? No.
I don't.
See the money, wanna stay for your meal Get another piece of pie for your wife Everybody wanna know how it feel Everybody wanna see what it's like I'll even eat a bean pie I don't mind Me and missy is so early Busy, busy making money All right! All step back I'm 'bout to dance The greenback boogie Why the rush now? You've already wasted ten minutes of my life.
Please tell me you didn't wait ten minutes just to scold me.
I've been waiting for you to bring the paperwork down so I can close a nine-figure licensing deal.
If your phone rings while I'm talking to Ray, I'm throwing it out of the car while it's attached to your hand.
Eddie Hope and the Mannish Boys.
Guesses? Won't be a fool no more You insult me, Harvey.
Don't worry, we won't be late.
Okay.
What was the name of the record label? Marlin Records.
Who covered it in the late '60s? Ah, I want to say The Stones, but You need some guesses? Oh! Oh, my God.
Just like a private car service, huh? Thinking you don't have to yield? What? Yield? You ran a red light.
That light was yellow.
No, sir, it was not.
Are you calling me a liar? Back off.
Mind your business, okay? Oh, I'm minding my business.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Anyone throws a punch, I'm going to introduce you to Mr.
Taser.
Trade insurance.
I'll take reports one at a time.
As much as I'd like to help you out, I'm late for a meeting.
Oh, no.
You're not going anywhere.
I need a statement from you, too.
Here is my information.
I need you to babysit the client until I get there.
Don't mention the deal.
She asks any questions, just nod your head and look pretty.
Ms.
McAfee.
I'm Mike Ross.
I work with Harvey.
Oh.
You're the protégé that he's been gushing about.
He was gushing? Well, he mentioned that you existed.
For Harvey, that's gushing.
Uh, he's running a few minutes late today.
Car trouble.
I was just about to have tea with the girls.
Would you care to join me? I'd love to.
Good.
And for heaven's sakes, call me Joy.
Okay, Joy.
These are the girls.
Susie, Sarah, Stacy, Sinclair, and Sabrina.
Susie, where are your manners? Shake hands with this nice young man.
Just kidding.
I know they're dolls.
Oh.
They're named after my daughters.
I started the company because of them, really.
You know, dolls didn't used to be these cheap, plastic bimbos from China that we have today.
Your mother made them for you by hand.
I wanted my girls to have that same experience.
And here we are, thirty years later.
Every parent's worst nightmare.
What do you mean? These little angels, they sell for $90 a pop.
I wasn't born with a butler, you know.
I've got to say, this is amazing.
Taking on a project like a licensing deal.
Why is that amazing? Well, my grandmother could never pull this off.
She's been retired for ten years.
How is that treating her? She lives near my apartment.
I get to see her once a week.
So That's very sweet of you.
No.
No, it's not.
You know, whenever I needed her, she was there.
No matter what.
She'd give me a hug.
She'd tell me everything was going to be alright.
Even if it wasn't.
And now that she needs me, I am always at work.
And I'm I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Never answer your phone in front of a client.
But it's you.
What's happening? Well, actually, we're in the middle of a tea party.
I knew you were the doll-playing type.
Put Joy on.
Ms.
McAfee.
It's Harvey.
Oh.
Oh.
Joy, I'm sorry.
I have to reschedule.
No need to apologize.
I like this one.
I'll send him back after tea.
Tell me you didn't ask our client for a doggie bag.
What can I say? Stacy insisted.
I just got off with Joy McAfee's general counsel.
It seems she had an epiphany.
She wants less on her plate, not more.
I thought you were going to close her.
We need that doll money.
I'm on top of it.
Harvey, it took five months to structure that deal.
Please don't make me set fire to your desk.
I All you had to do was have tea with the dolls.
Donna, schedule another tea party with Joy as soon as possible.
And text me the names of her girls.
Oh, what a shock.
You can't keep girls' names straight in your head.
Just yours, Debbie.
See, that's funny because your name is Donna.
Harvey Specter.
I got your order right here.
I didn't order a pizza.
You've been served.
The cab driver who hit Ray named me as a witness in a civil suit.
I need to pay Travis Bickle a visit.
Harvey, if you let me go talk to Joy, I know I can fix this.
No.
You don't send a puppy to clean up its own mess.
Optimally, you don't even have a puppy.
Ross.
Rumor has it you talked a client out of $200 million.
The deal's not off the table, all right? It's just a speed bump.
Dude, I think we just found him a new nickname.
Speed Bump.
I feel like I'm back in high school.
They called you Speed Bump in high school? Kidding.
But if you need any boxes to pack up your office Ah.
Wait a minute.
There.
I think that belongs to you.
It wouldn't hurt so much if you had thicker skin.
What do you want? I want to pay you back for posting bail.
Trevor, you've owed me forty bucks since fifth grade.
I wrote it off.
Okay? Look, I want a clean slate.
Okay? So, you don't want to see me, I'll mail you a check.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's hang out tomorrow night.
Nothing crazy, though, all right? I have to be up early.
We can crochet pantyhose if that's what it takes to be cool.
I think we can do a little better than that.
Why don't we, uh Why don't we say Rex's, 7:30? First six rounds are on me.
If you're serious about paying me back, the first hundred rounds are on you.
Oh, it's the tough guy.
This is a matter for insurance.
Not a frivolous lawsuit.
You know, for your information, I suffered emotional pain.
Emotional pain? Rub this on your emotional pain.
You condescending son of a Look at me.
I am going to warn you once.
Do not pursue this matter.
You know, I have been held up at gunpoint three times.
So, do you think a fancy suit and a $500 haircut, that's going to scare me? You take my driver to court, I'm going to represent him myself.
And when you lose, you'll be covering my fee.
Which is going to be a hell of a lot of haircuts.
Mmm.
So you weren't a one-way fare.
Ray's worked for me eight years.
Then you don't have to worry about being a witness.
Because as his employer, you're liable for his actions.
You know, I think you've seen way too many reruns of Ally McBeal.
You know, I immigrated here after September 11.
And they shut the doors on everybody.
I couldn't pay for a lawyer, so I had to take them to court.
I sued for my citizenship.
So I have a very special appreciation for the law.
I appreciate a good single malt.
I don't pretend I can make one.
I wiped the floor with the US government, Counselor.
I'm going to do the same with you.
Ray.
Donna.
What are you doing here? I don't have you scheduled.
Uh, I need to see Harvey.
Oh, come on.
You know the rules.
No one sets foot in there without a warrant, a Papal edict, or my say-so.
I just got named in a multi-million dollar lawsuit.
The accident wasn't my fault.
Can I get in to see Harvey, please? Okay, say no more.
I will get you in.
You are so beautiful when you're forceful.
I know you meant that as a compliment, but I don't appreciate limitations being placed on my beauty.
Harvey.
I'm already losing money with the car in the shop.
A trial means I can't work.
And how do you think my name is going to play in front of a New York jury? Rahim Benghazi? I may as well buy a one-way ticket to Guantanamo.
Not going to happen.
If I lose, I won't even be able to afford a livery license, let alone my insurance.
That's why I'm going to be defending both of us.
Ray, this goes against every fiber of my being.
I'm taking your case.
Pro bono.
I don't know what to say.
Absolutely nothing.
I've got a reputation to maintain.
Besides, it's not going to take long.
Okay? I'm going to get it dismissed.
Donna, call the court.
We need priority status on the docket.
Yeah.
I already tried.
You drew Judge Palermo.
You know what you have to do, don't you? Yeah.
The other thing that goes against every fiber of my being.
Louis, has anyone told you you're an exquisite soprano? What do you want, Harvey? You're right.
Why prolong my suffering? I need you to get me in to see Judge Palermo.
You need my help, and you're not going to pull rank on me? Your case has nothing to do with firm business, does it? What's it going to take? A mani-pedi? Tickets to Celine? I'll see what I can do.
And your pound of flesh? I need my back scratched, I'll let you know.
Louis, unless that's a metaphor, the deal's off.
Huh.
Joy, when I told you that my grandmother didn't have much time, I didn't realize that she's 15 years older than you.
Now how do you know how old I am? That is a very closely guarded secret.
I did some research.
Very resourceful.
I did it to assure myself that you can handle a heavier workload.
I appreciate that.
But I'm not worried about my health.
Is it the money? Because I can guarantee $200 million upfront is just a tenth of what you stand to make on this deal.
Michael, my dolls eat better than most people.
I've got plenty of money.
This deal meant staying on for five more years and doubling my workload.
I am going to take my grandchildren on a cruise to Tahiti.
Tahiti? You know the licensing agreement includes a theme park.
You could take them there.
It's not about the deal.
I have had this same view for 25 years.
I need a change of scenery.
I'm going to speak to Harvey and I'm going to tell him that I want to sell the whole business.
So I just spoke to Judge Palermo.
And because he thinks I'm a good guy and I told him I'd owe him one, your case is going to be moved up.
Way ahead.
Back scratch.
I don't have a first born, you know.
So what exactly do you want for that? No, you're not getting one of my ties.
No.
Your shoulder? What Your lapel Donna? God.
Norma is going to Istanbul for two weeks.
And you know that I'm not good with temps.
My God.
Ask me for something else.
Harvey, this is non-negotiable.
You owe me now.
Donna is one thing that I can't give you.
Why not? For one thing, she'd never agree to it.
You're her boss.
You just tell her to do stuff.
I don't tell her to do anything.
She just does.
All right, fine.
You know what? That's just not a problem.
I will call Judge Palermo, and I'll tell him I was mistaken.
And then, your hearing will be in, I don't know, maybe six months? I tell you what.
If you can convince her yourself, you have my blessing.
She's going to love me so much, you're going to fight to get her back.
Hi, Donna.
Harvey and I were just talking about you.
No.
You don't even know what I was going to say.
Yes, I do.
And how is that possible? I read lips.
I know body language.
And I talk to Norma.
I'm not some token you win at a fair, Louis.
You I know you're not.
You're not a token.
I'm a human being, and I just Yes, you are.
I'm sorry.
I just You know what? That just made me feel really cheap.
No, I'm just trying to tell you that you're really good at what you do, Donna.
So I'm going to ask you It's like my soul hurts now.
No.
Donna, listen.
Even if your soul hurts a little bit I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's going to be fine.
Don't cry.
Please don't cry, Donna.
Oh, shit.
I think I owe you one for that.
That was fun.
Wait a second.
The time that you cried and then I let your parents stay at my condo? Yep.
So you don't want to talk about it? What is there to talk about? I did exactly what my boss told me not to do, and it blew up in my face.
Dude, I told you I'm taking care of this.
For my last few hours of employment, please, I should pay.
Put the wallet away.
Ooh.
Dude, this is epic.
This is the scam we always talked about.
God, I bet you're getting laid left and right.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You lose appreciation after a while.
Come on.
Why did you put a phone number on there? It's a real firm.
Oh, yeah? Huh.
What are you doing? Oh, I'm just calling the employee directory.
It's part of the scam, man.
They'll check your story.
Stop it.
What? Trevor, stop.
Hang up the phone.
No.
Trevor, hang up the phone.
Stop.
What? All right? I'm working there.
Oh, yeah.
What, as a lawyer? Are you Dude.
It's a long story.
Okay? But you can't tell anyone.
Ever.
Okay? That is awesome.
Man, I always said that if you quit smoking pot, you could do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, you did.
Right before you passed me the bowl.
What? No, I just I wish you trusted me enough to tell me.
I mean, all I did was set you up on a drug bust.
Oh, God.
That was too soon.
I'm sorry.
Hi, ladies.
How are you? Um, I want to let you know, if you, either of you, ever get arrested for anything, you call this guy.
He's the best attorney in the city.
What would we get arrested for? Um I don't know.
What are you thinking about doing? Uh, as your attorney, I would definitely advise you to do that.
Uh, four more.
- Yeah.
I must warn you that representing yourself at trial is not the What's he doing here? You think you can schedule a meeting without me knowing it? Oh, no.
I'm privy to all communication between you and the court.
Well, if your driving matched your legal knowledge, we wouldn't be here.
Your Honor.
This case should be dismissed.
It's a matter for insurance.
Insurance only covers repairs.
It does not deal with my losses.
What losses? Because of that accident, I missed my chance to get my Taxi Medallion.
Can't you just buy it next year? The loan I got expires in one week.
On top of that, a Medallion costs $300,000 this go round.
Next year, $350,000.
So his entire claim rests upon the assumption that he would have won this year's Medallion.
The hallmark of America is that the little guy gets to see justice done.
We are all equals in the eyes of the law.
That is why, out of all the countries in the world, I chose to come here.
What do you have to say about that, Counselor? I say Atticus Finch makes a good speech here.
But this is a fender bender, not a multi-million dollar law suit.
Vicarious liability applies to discrimination, harassment, and accidents.
Employers are responsible for their employees' negligence.
The court finds a reasonable suit here.
Trial starts tomorrow.
Thank you, Your Honor.
You're getting a good kick out of this, aren't you? I am.
But I'm taking this on its merits.
And you better bring your A game tomorrow, because he's got a legitimate claim.
He wants a trial, I'll give him a goddamn trial.
Your Honor.
So, how many cases have you won? I only remember how many I've lost.
None.
Well, what happened to the drinks? I got a better idea.
Let's say we get a bottle and take the party back to your place.
Make it a bottle of Dom, and you're on.
All right.
How about four bottles? Come on.
You guys want to get a cab? Definitely.
Definitely.
Cab, four bottles of Dom You want to spend any more of my money? Just relax.
Okay? It's an investment in the evening.
And, uh, I just said the thing about the bottles to get the girls out of the bar.
Really? Because it looked like you were trying to get away from those guys.
Taxi! What guys? The guys in the back.
You know what I'm talking about.
Come on.
Who are they? Look.
Those two? I I I don't know.
Where are all the cabs? Well, it looked like they knew you.
And not in a very good way.
I I don't know.
Maybe they were, uh, flirting with our dates.
Okay? I'd be pissed, too, if I watched those legs walk away from me.
How we doing, ladies? My feet are killing me in these heels.
- I'm sorry.
Hey.
Trevor.
Come on.
Seriously.
Taxi! Stop playing with me.
What was that about back there? Look, I'm not playing with you.
All right? But just, if you play your cards right, maybe you and, uh Maybe Marcella will Maybe she'll play with you.
Okay.
Now, it's going to be a tight squeeze.
Who wants to sit on my lap? We don't go after him? No, we're going to get to him through this guy.
A-ha, just like the good old days, huh? Are you kidding me? This is way better than the good old days.
I'm actually missing a shoe.
Hey, where are we? Uh, I think we're in Hoboken.
You wanted to see me? Did you go to see Joy after I told you not to? How did you know? I didn't.
Until now.
I told you.
A puppy can't clean up its own mess.
Mess? All I did was tell her about my grandmother.
Your job is to make my life easier.
If you can't understand that, why did I hire you? Police report summarized.
Traffic signal analysis.
Medallion bids, attendees, and results.
That's why you hired me.
I thought you were all over the Joy situation.
Instead, you're all over page six.
You wanted me to do pro bono work.
This is it.
Pro bono enhances a firm's image.
This makes us look like wealthy bullies against an everyman cabby.
Does that seem like it enhances our image to you? I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I don't want to.
Someone had a fun night.
Answer another call you shouldn't have? I I I didn't I was Piece of advice.
When the big dog asks the puppy something like that, it's a rhetorical question.
Got it.
Before you go The phone call.
The other day when you answered it during the meeting? Yeah.
I'm sorry about that.
It won't happen again.
Who was it? Um, it was just a friend.
You know, an emergency.
What kind of emergency? Um Was it the friend who almost got you busted for drug trafficking? That friend? Trevor? He's not dealing anymore, Harvey.
So, it was him.
He called you from jail? You know, I make a living learning how to read people, Mike.
So if I saw it, Jessica did, too.
Is that the kind of impression that you want to leave around here? This guy is not your friend.
He is an anchor dragging you down.
Get rid of him.
He is my oldest friend, Harvey.
I wasn't just going to let him rot in jail.
What's going to happen the next time? Because there will be a next time.
You going to bail him out? Put yourself in jeopardy? You know, if it weren't for Trevor, you and I never would have met.
Cut him loose.
We're here to see Mike Ross.
He's an associate.
His friend, Trevor, referred us.
Thank you.
It looked like they knew you.
And not in a very good way.
Hey! Hey! Excuse me.
Officer.
Is Central Park that way? Yeah, just go right there.
I'm sorry.
I'm really terrible with direction.
Is it this street right here? This street, yes.
Right here.
Yeah.
Okay.
Trevor, it's Mike.
Call me back.
I need to know what the hell is going on.
Did you get the red velvet cupcakes? Yes.
Three dozen.
Extra icing.
How the hell did that happen? Okay.
You know what? There.
Problem solved.
I asked you how'd you get that tear.
A couple of guys came to the firm.
They were looking for me.
I don't know what they wanted, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with some shit Trevor did.
And that big brain of yours doesn't remember me saying to cut ties with that loser? You know what? You've been blowing off Joy's deal all week for your friend, okay? So, please.
First of all, Trevor is not your friend.
You want to know why I'm loyal to Ray? I was taking a limo, and I left $3,000 in it.
Ray happened to be the driver.
He found it and tracked me down.
Not a nickel of it was missing.
And his first reaction when this accident occurred was to ask if we were okay.
Now, what would Trevor's have been? Cut him off.
And as far as the licensing deal goes, just because you think I'm blowing something off, doesn't mean I am.
Now watch and learn.
Everything's set for you to walk away.
We're selling your stake as a block.
Your headhunter is lining up your replacement as we speak.
Well, Harvey, this was the most wonderful surprise.
You're a long-time client who wants to be with her family.
It was the least I could do.
And you'll have all the free time in the world to spend with them.
- Joey broke the lamp.
Oh, that's great.
Now, how soon can we send them home? They're booked on the first flight out tomorrow morning.
So when you had Donna text you the girls' names I was talking about her daughters.
And you were going to fly them out all along.
Do you remember when I said you don't send a puppy to clean up its own mess? Yes, Harvey.
I do.
I'm not a puppy.
Court will come to order.
Mr.
Santana, your opening statement, please.
Driving a cab isn't glamorous.
But it's an honest day's work.
Ever since I started, I've looked forward to a time when I could tell customers that they were riding in my cab.
That I was an owner-operator.
So, I scrimped and I saved until I finally had enough put away to buy a Medallion.
But because of the actions of these men, I've lost that opportunity.
So make no mistake.
This trial is not about a busted headlight.
This is a trial about a broken dream.
Forget the case.
They're going to make him President.
Statements are like free throws.
Easy.
Nobody's playing defense.
Are we good at defense? You would agree that chauffeured drivers cause more accidents? Objection.
Badgering.
Sustained.
Objection.
Argumentative.
Leading the witness.
Ambiguous.
Privileged.
Inflammatory.
Sustained.
Anything further, Mr.
Santana? Yes, Your Honor.
I would like to call to the stand Mr.
Michael Ross, please.
What time had you called for the limo on the morning of the accident? We were supposed to leave at 8:30.
And what time did you get to work? Objection.
Irrelevant.
It's highly relevant, Your Honor.
It speaks to the psychology of the driver, Rahim Benghazi.
Overruled.
Answer Mr.
Santana's question.
So unless Mr.
Benghazi made up for that lost time, you were going to be late for that meeting.
Correct? Yes.
No further questions, Your Honor.
When the accident occurred, you were on your way to the Medallion auction.
When and where was this auction to take place? According to the police report, the accident occurred at 8:53 a.
m.
That means you only had seven minutes to get downtown in rush hour traffic.
Objection.
Irrelevant.
I believe when I made the same objection, you told his Honor it was highly relevant.
Overruled.
You were running late.
Only the stakes for you were much higher, weren't they? These things never start on time.
Then, why was the first Medallion sold at 9:03 a.
m.
? You were scared your chance at a Medallion was going up in smoke, and you ran a red.
Then, you used the accident to paint me and Ray Benghazi as a couple of scapegoats.
You can't prove that.
What color was the light? I take the Fifth.
You can't take the Fifth, Mr.
Santana.
This isn't a criminal case.
What color was the light? He cut me off.
You claim to love our legal system so much, answer the question.
What color was the light? What color was the light? Your Honor? Answer the question, Mr.
Santana.
It just meant so much to me.
Your Honor? Can I sidebar with opposing counsel? We can roll the dice with the jury, but I'd rather settle.
How much would I have to pay? Nothing.
You take responsibility for the accident, and your insurance company makes Ray whole.
In return, I waive my right to collect legal fees.
I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything.
I've got a reputation to maintain.
That goes for you, too, Judge.
Damn it, Trevor.
I left you, like, five messages.
Good to know your boy's flaky with everyone.
I was taking it personal.
What do you want? Well, Trevor owes us $50,000.
He's never paid, so you're going to bail him out.
Listen, I don't have that kind of money.
Okay? I can't.
Well, if you're not down here in an hour with it, we're going to take it out on Trevor.
Tell him where the money is.
Whatever you do, don't show up.
Trevor.
You have one hour.
Hello? Hello.
What do you think you're doing, leaving in the middle of a trial? I've got some things to take care of.
You mean someone to take care of.
You never cut Trevor off, did you? No, I didn't.
My friend's in trouble, and I'm going to help him.
You know what? This is what addicts do.
The second they start making progress, they screw up.
Because deep down, they think it's only a matter of time until they fail.
They'd rather fall from the third floor than the penthouse.
Nothing you say can stop me.
Then tell me what the hell is going on.
He's clean.
No wires.
You sure? Yeah, I'm sure.
Remember what happened with the guy.
He was 300 pounds.
Now who did you say you were again? Trevor's lawyer.
Trevor didn't mention a lawyer.
He doesn't know he hired me.
Come on.
Open the briefcase.
Where's the goddamn money? That photo is a screen-shot taken from my firm's security video.
We know what you look like.
And if Mike Ross doesn't hear from me in the next five minutes, he's calling the police.
No, man.
You're not coming in here and threatening us.
You're looking at kidnapping, extortion, and drug dealing.
And the District Attorney happens to be number three on my speed dial.
Well, if we're looking at all that time, you might as well add murder.
I've got a better idea.
Retainer agreement.
If you sign right here, you'll become one of my clients.
And I won't be able to testify against you even if I wanted to.
What about the money? This envelope contains $10,000.
Consider it a down payment on Trevor's debt.
Only here's the thing.
I don't do pro bono work.
And my retainer agreement requires a down payment of $10,000.
Now, as your attorney, my job is to give you advice.
So, here's the deal.
Sign the agreement.
I thought I said not to come.
Remember that forty bucks from the fifth grade you owe me? If you were dead, how would I collect? Oh, man.
I'm sorry.
I just put you in trouble just by hanging out with you.
So, why did you do it? Because I'm a dick.
I bet you didn't think you'd have to save my ass so soon after bailing me out.
I wasn't the one who saved you.
Yeah.
Wow.
As a friend, that guy puts me to shame.
Harvey's not my friend.
Trust me.
Well, he didn't put his ass on the line because of me.
Listen, I pled you down to a misdemeanor, drunk and disorderly, and I paid the fine.
I think it might be a good idea if you got out of town for a while.
Montana.
You said you wanted a clean slate.
I figured 20 hours on a bus ought to do the trick.
Oh, yeah.
It will do me good.
Wait.
When I get back, you know who the first person I'm going to call is.
Yeah.
The one person you know who'll answer it.
For you.
What's this? I'm very happy you took Ray on pro bono.
You, on the other hand, can afford our services.
You want me to pay me to represent me? Mmm-hmm.
Ten hours at a $1,000 an hour.
Yeah, I'll let you do the math.
You can't be serious.
I'll tell you what I am serious about.
I hear you're finally mentoring the kid.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Really? Because I understand that you dropped the puppy analogy on him.
Which is exactly what I used on you.
It may have slipped out by accident.
On accident, on purpose The really important thing is that I'm taller than you.
Yeah.
Yep.
You look much thinner in that.
You planted that story.
Be man enough to own it.
I don't traffic in the tabloids, Harvey.
But I can see how whoever planted this might find it amusing.
The great Harvey Specter bullying a humble cab driver? I mean, it's a no-win situation, really.
Well, maybe you didn't hear.
I won the no-win situation.
Did it ever occur to you that if you hadn't done that to me, I actually would have owed you one? Maybe if you didn't humiliate me in front of the associates.
Louis, for an average attorney, a $100 million is a career case.
If I'm mocking you, it means I think you're above average.
But stress balls? You're making it too easy.
You put Trevor on the bus to the boondocks? Yeah.
Can I ask you a question? After all this, you really think I'm still buying the Mr.
I-Don't-Give-a-Crap thing? Joy sent a little token of her appreciation.
She got your hair just right.
Did she ever make one of these for you? Not that you'll ever see.
Triple double.
Courtesy of America's favorite burger chain.
Louis won the class action suit? Ten thousand men of Harvard Want vict'ry today, For they know that o'er old Eli Fair Harvard holds sway So then we'll conquer all old Eli's men My favorite part.
You don't know the lyrics, do you? I don't even know the lyrics, Louis.
Now, are we practicing law down here or auditioning a chorus line? It's called esprit de corps.
And I just got a $100 million jury award overturned.
I don't have to overturn awards like that because I've never lost one in the first place.
So, what is this? A new cologne? Or just a hint ofjealousy? I'm surprised you, uh, don't recognize your wife's perfume.
I know.
You're not married.
It's still funny.
You do realize we're celebrating making fat people even fatter, right? If you wanted to do good, you should have been a fake doctor.
Business cards.
Yep.
My mistake is now official.
Come with me.
And learn the goddamn lyrics to the Harvard song, will you? Oakhurst Capital has agreed to a $200 million licensing deal.
We are at the goal line.
How are we on brand protection? The contract is airtight.
The only issue here is to get the Joyful Toy Company to close.
I'll go over it with Joy one-on-one.
Protocol in a meeting is to put your phone on silent.
Oh.
Uh If it does ring, you answer it.
Not in here.
Don't feel the need to rush back when you're done.
Who is this? Dude, it's Trevor.
Don't hang up.
Look, I only get one call.
I'm in jail.
I tried to hop this bus at Port Authority.
I was drunk.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
I'm going to pay you back.
Good.
Your bail cost me everything I had in the bank.
The thing is, I don't have the money.
What are you talking about? You were clearing $10,000 a month selling weed.
It went out as fast as it came in.
Came in? I quit.
I'm not dealing anymore.
Bullshit.
I'm serious.
After we fought, things just started to fall apart.
Jenny broke up with me.
I didn't know.
Well, I just realized I needed to make a change.
I even sold my bong.
What have you done with my friend? You should talk.
Look at you.
You look like Gordon Gekko's little brother.
Okay.
Are you working on Wall Street, man? Why did you call me, Trevor? You're the one person I knew would show up.
You want to ask me for anything? Else? Look.
All I care about right now is keeping my record clean.
You don't happen to know any good lawyers, do you? No.
I don't.
See the money, wanna stay for your meal Get another piece of pie for your wife Everybody wanna know how it feel Everybody wanna see what it's like I'll even eat a bean pie I don't mind Me and missy is so early Busy, busy making money All right! All step back I'm 'bout to dance The greenback boogie Why the rush now? You've already wasted ten minutes of my life.
Please tell me you didn't wait ten minutes just to scold me.
I've been waiting for you to bring the paperwork down so I can close a nine-figure licensing deal.
If your phone rings while I'm talking to Ray, I'm throwing it out of the car while it's attached to your hand.
Eddie Hope and the Mannish Boys.
Guesses? Won't be a fool no more You insult me, Harvey.
Don't worry, we won't be late.
Okay.
What was the name of the record label? Marlin Records.
Who covered it in the late '60s? Ah, I want to say The Stones, but You need some guesses? Oh! Oh, my God.
Just like a private car service, huh? Thinking you don't have to yield? What? Yield? You ran a red light.
That light was yellow.
No, sir, it was not.
Are you calling me a liar? Back off.
Mind your business, okay? Oh, I'm minding my business.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Anyone throws a punch, I'm going to introduce you to Mr.
Taser.
Trade insurance.
I'll take reports one at a time.
As much as I'd like to help you out, I'm late for a meeting.
Oh, no.
You're not going anywhere.
I need a statement from you, too.
Here is my information.
I need you to babysit the client until I get there.
Don't mention the deal.
She asks any questions, just nod your head and look pretty.
Ms.
McAfee.
I'm Mike Ross.
I work with Harvey.
Oh.
You're the protégé that he's been gushing about.
He was gushing? Well, he mentioned that you existed.
For Harvey, that's gushing.
Uh, he's running a few minutes late today.
Car trouble.
I was just about to have tea with the girls.
Would you care to join me? I'd love to.
Good.
And for heaven's sakes, call me Joy.
Okay, Joy.
These are the girls.
Susie, Sarah, Stacy, Sinclair, and Sabrina.
Susie, where are your manners? Shake hands with this nice young man.
Just kidding.
I know they're dolls.
Oh.
They're named after my daughters.
I started the company because of them, really.
You know, dolls didn't used to be these cheap, plastic bimbos from China that we have today.
Your mother made them for you by hand.
I wanted my girls to have that same experience.
And here we are, thirty years later.
Every parent's worst nightmare.
What do you mean? These little angels, they sell for $90 a pop.
I wasn't born with a butler, you know.
I've got to say, this is amazing.
Taking on a project like a licensing deal.
Why is that amazing? Well, my grandmother could never pull this off.
She's been retired for ten years.
How is that treating her? She lives near my apartment.
I get to see her once a week.
So That's very sweet of you.
No.
No, it's not.
You know, whenever I needed her, she was there.
No matter what.
She'd give me a hug.
She'd tell me everything was going to be alright.
Even if it wasn't.
And now that she needs me, I am always at work.
And I'm I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Never answer your phone in front of a client.
But it's you.
What's happening? Well, actually, we're in the middle of a tea party.
I knew you were the doll-playing type.
Put Joy on.
Ms.
McAfee.
It's Harvey.
Oh.
Oh.
Joy, I'm sorry.
I have to reschedule.
No need to apologize.
I like this one.
I'll send him back after tea.
Tell me you didn't ask our client for a doggie bag.
What can I say? Stacy insisted.
I just got off with Joy McAfee's general counsel.
It seems she had an epiphany.
She wants less on her plate, not more.
I thought you were going to close her.
We need that doll money.
I'm on top of it.
Harvey, it took five months to structure that deal.
Please don't make me set fire to your desk.
I All you had to do was have tea with the dolls.
Donna, schedule another tea party with Joy as soon as possible.
And text me the names of her girls.
Oh, what a shock.
You can't keep girls' names straight in your head.
Just yours, Debbie.
See, that's funny because your name is Donna.
Harvey Specter.
I got your order right here.
I didn't order a pizza.
You've been served.
The cab driver who hit Ray named me as a witness in a civil suit.
I need to pay Travis Bickle a visit.
Harvey, if you let me go talk to Joy, I know I can fix this.
No.
You don't send a puppy to clean up its own mess.
Optimally, you don't even have a puppy.
Ross.
Rumor has it you talked a client out of $200 million.
The deal's not off the table, all right? It's just a speed bump.
Dude, I think we just found him a new nickname.
Speed Bump.
I feel like I'm back in high school.
They called you Speed Bump in high school? Kidding.
But if you need any boxes to pack up your office Ah.
Wait a minute.
There.
I think that belongs to you.
It wouldn't hurt so much if you had thicker skin.
What do you want? I want to pay you back for posting bail.
Trevor, you've owed me forty bucks since fifth grade.
I wrote it off.
Okay? Look, I want a clean slate.
Okay? So, you don't want to see me, I'll mail you a check.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's hang out tomorrow night.
Nothing crazy, though, all right? I have to be up early.
We can crochet pantyhose if that's what it takes to be cool.
I think we can do a little better than that.
Why don't we, uh Why don't we say Rex's, 7:30? First six rounds are on me.
If you're serious about paying me back, the first hundred rounds are on you.
Oh, it's the tough guy.
This is a matter for insurance.
Not a frivolous lawsuit.
You know, for your information, I suffered emotional pain.
Emotional pain? Rub this on your emotional pain.
You condescending son of a Look at me.
I am going to warn you once.
Do not pursue this matter.
You know, I have been held up at gunpoint three times.
So, do you think a fancy suit and a $500 haircut, that's going to scare me? You take my driver to court, I'm going to represent him myself.
And when you lose, you'll be covering my fee.
Which is going to be a hell of a lot of haircuts.
Mmm.
So you weren't a one-way fare.
Ray's worked for me eight years.
Then you don't have to worry about being a witness.
Because as his employer, you're liable for his actions.
You know, I think you've seen way too many reruns of Ally McBeal.
You know, I immigrated here after September 11.
And they shut the doors on everybody.
I couldn't pay for a lawyer, so I had to take them to court.
I sued for my citizenship.
So I have a very special appreciation for the law.
I appreciate a good single malt.
I don't pretend I can make one.
I wiped the floor with the US government, Counselor.
I'm going to do the same with you.
Ray.
Donna.
What are you doing here? I don't have you scheduled.
Uh, I need to see Harvey.
Oh, come on.
You know the rules.
No one sets foot in there without a warrant, a Papal edict, or my say-so.
I just got named in a multi-million dollar lawsuit.
The accident wasn't my fault.
Can I get in to see Harvey, please? Okay, say no more.
I will get you in.
You are so beautiful when you're forceful.
I know you meant that as a compliment, but I don't appreciate limitations being placed on my beauty.
Harvey.
I'm already losing money with the car in the shop.
A trial means I can't work.
And how do you think my name is going to play in front of a New York jury? Rahim Benghazi? I may as well buy a one-way ticket to Guantanamo.
Not going to happen.
If I lose, I won't even be able to afford a livery license, let alone my insurance.
That's why I'm going to be defending both of us.
Ray, this goes against every fiber of my being.
I'm taking your case.
Pro bono.
I don't know what to say.
Absolutely nothing.
I've got a reputation to maintain.
Besides, it's not going to take long.
Okay? I'm going to get it dismissed.
Donna, call the court.
We need priority status on the docket.
Yeah.
I already tried.
You drew Judge Palermo.
You know what you have to do, don't you? Yeah.
The other thing that goes against every fiber of my being.
Louis, has anyone told you you're an exquisite soprano? What do you want, Harvey? You're right.
Why prolong my suffering? I need you to get me in to see Judge Palermo.
You need my help, and you're not going to pull rank on me? Your case has nothing to do with firm business, does it? What's it going to take? A mani-pedi? Tickets to Celine? I'll see what I can do.
And your pound of flesh? I need my back scratched, I'll let you know.
Louis, unless that's a metaphor, the deal's off.
Huh.
Joy, when I told you that my grandmother didn't have much time, I didn't realize that she's 15 years older than you.
Now how do you know how old I am? That is a very closely guarded secret.
I did some research.
Very resourceful.
I did it to assure myself that you can handle a heavier workload.
I appreciate that.
But I'm not worried about my health.
Is it the money? Because I can guarantee $200 million upfront is just a tenth of what you stand to make on this deal.
Michael, my dolls eat better than most people.
I've got plenty of money.
This deal meant staying on for five more years and doubling my workload.
I am going to take my grandchildren on a cruise to Tahiti.
Tahiti? You know the licensing agreement includes a theme park.
You could take them there.
It's not about the deal.
I have had this same view for 25 years.
I need a change of scenery.
I'm going to speak to Harvey and I'm going to tell him that I want to sell the whole business.
So I just spoke to Judge Palermo.
And because he thinks I'm a good guy and I told him I'd owe him one, your case is going to be moved up.
Way ahead.
Back scratch.
I don't have a first born, you know.
So what exactly do you want for that? No, you're not getting one of my ties.
No.
Your shoulder? What Your lapel Donna? God.
Norma is going to Istanbul for two weeks.
And you know that I'm not good with temps.
My God.
Ask me for something else.
Harvey, this is non-negotiable.
You owe me now.
Donna is one thing that I can't give you.
Why not? For one thing, she'd never agree to it.
You're her boss.
You just tell her to do stuff.
I don't tell her to do anything.
She just does.
All right, fine.
You know what? That's just not a problem.
I will call Judge Palermo, and I'll tell him I was mistaken.
And then, your hearing will be in, I don't know, maybe six months? I tell you what.
If you can convince her yourself, you have my blessing.
She's going to love me so much, you're going to fight to get her back.
Hi, Donna.
Harvey and I were just talking about you.
No.
You don't even know what I was going to say.
Yes, I do.
And how is that possible? I read lips.
I know body language.
And I talk to Norma.
I'm not some token you win at a fair, Louis.
You I know you're not.
You're not a token.
I'm a human being, and I just Yes, you are.
I'm sorry.
I just You know what? That just made me feel really cheap.
No, I'm just trying to tell you that you're really good at what you do, Donna.
So I'm going to ask you It's like my soul hurts now.
No.
Donna, listen.
Even if your soul hurts a little bit I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's going to be fine.
Don't cry.
Please don't cry, Donna.
Oh, shit.
I think I owe you one for that.
That was fun.
Wait a second.
The time that you cried and then I let your parents stay at my condo? Yep.
So you don't want to talk about it? What is there to talk about? I did exactly what my boss told me not to do, and it blew up in my face.
Dude, I told you I'm taking care of this.
For my last few hours of employment, please, I should pay.
Put the wallet away.
Ooh.
Dude, this is epic.
This is the scam we always talked about.
God, I bet you're getting laid left and right.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You lose appreciation after a while.
Come on.
Why did you put a phone number on there? It's a real firm.
Oh, yeah? Huh.
What are you doing? Oh, I'm just calling the employee directory.
It's part of the scam, man.
They'll check your story.
Stop it.
What? Trevor, stop.
Hang up the phone.
No.
Trevor, hang up the phone.
Stop.
What? All right? I'm working there.
Oh, yeah.
What, as a lawyer? Are you Dude.
It's a long story.
Okay? But you can't tell anyone.
Ever.
Okay? That is awesome.
Man, I always said that if you quit smoking pot, you could do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, you did.
Right before you passed me the bowl.
What? No, I just I wish you trusted me enough to tell me.
I mean, all I did was set you up on a drug bust.
Oh, God.
That was too soon.
I'm sorry.
Hi, ladies.
How are you? Um, I want to let you know, if you, either of you, ever get arrested for anything, you call this guy.
He's the best attorney in the city.
What would we get arrested for? Um I don't know.
What are you thinking about doing? Uh, as your attorney, I would definitely advise you to do that.
Uh, four more.
- Yeah.
I must warn you that representing yourself at trial is not the What's he doing here? You think you can schedule a meeting without me knowing it? Oh, no.
I'm privy to all communication between you and the court.
Well, if your driving matched your legal knowledge, we wouldn't be here.
Your Honor.
This case should be dismissed.
It's a matter for insurance.
Insurance only covers repairs.
It does not deal with my losses.
What losses? Because of that accident, I missed my chance to get my Taxi Medallion.
Can't you just buy it next year? The loan I got expires in one week.
On top of that, a Medallion costs $300,000 this go round.
Next year, $350,000.
So his entire claim rests upon the assumption that he would have won this year's Medallion.
The hallmark of America is that the little guy gets to see justice done.
We are all equals in the eyes of the law.
That is why, out of all the countries in the world, I chose to come here.
What do you have to say about that, Counselor? I say Atticus Finch makes a good speech here.
But this is a fender bender, not a multi-million dollar law suit.
Vicarious liability applies to discrimination, harassment, and accidents.
Employers are responsible for their employees' negligence.
The court finds a reasonable suit here.
Trial starts tomorrow.
Thank you, Your Honor.
You're getting a good kick out of this, aren't you? I am.
But I'm taking this on its merits.
And you better bring your A game tomorrow, because he's got a legitimate claim.
He wants a trial, I'll give him a goddamn trial.
Your Honor.
So, how many cases have you won? I only remember how many I've lost.
None.
Well, what happened to the drinks? I got a better idea.
Let's say we get a bottle and take the party back to your place.
Make it a bottle of Dom, and you're on.
All right.
How about four bottles? Come on.
You guys want to get a cab? Definitely.
Definitely.
Cab, four bottles of Dom You want to spend any more of my money? Just relax.
Okay? It's an investment in the evening.
And, uh, I just said the thing about the bottles to get the girls out of the bar.
Really? Because it looked like you were trying to get away from those guys.
Taxi! What guys? The guys in the back.
You know what I'm talking about.
Come on.
Who are they? Look.
Those two? I I I don't know.
Where are all the cabs? Well, it looked like they knew you.
And not in a very good way.
I I don't know.
Maybe they were, uh, flirting with our dates.
Okay? I'd be pissed, too, if I watched those legs walk away from me.
How we doing, ladies? My feet are killing me in these heels.
- I'm sorry.
Hey.
Trevor.
Come on.
Seriously.
Taxi! Stop playing with me.
What was that about back there? Look, I'm not playing with you.
All right? But just, if you play your cards right, maybe you and, uh Maybe Marcella will Maybe she'll play with you.
Okay.
Now, it's going to be a tight squeeze.
Who wants to sit on my lap? We don't go after him? No, we're going to get to him through this guy.
A-ha, just like the good old days, huh? Are you kidding me? This is way better than the good old days.
I'm actually missing a shoe.
Hey, where are we? Uh, I think we're in Hoboken.
You wanted to see me? Did you go to see Joy after I told you not to? How did you know? I didn't.
Until now.
I told you.
A puppy can't clean up its own mess.
Mess? All I did was tell her about my grandmother.
Your job is to make my life easier.
If you can't understand that, why did I hire you? Police report summarized.
Traffic signal analysis.
Medallion bids, attendees, and results.
That's why you hired me.
I thought you were all over the Joy situation.
Instead, you're all over page six.
You wanted me to do pro bono work.
This is it.
Pro bono enhances a firm's image.
This makes us look like wealthy bullies against an everyman cabby.
Does that seem like it enhances our image to you? I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I don't want to.
Someone had a fun night.
Answer another call you shouldn't have? I I I didn't I was Piece of advice.
When the big dog asks the puppy something like that, it's a rhetorical question.
Got it.
Before you go The phone call.
The other day when you answered it during the meeting? Yeah.
I'm sorry about that.
It won't happen again.
Who was it? Um, it was just a friend.
You know, an emergency.
What kind of emergency? Um Was it the friend who almost got you busted for drug trafficking? That friend? Trevor? He's not dealing anymore, Harvey.
So, it was him.
He called you from jail? You know, I make a living learning how to read people, Mike.
So if I saw it, Jessica did, too.
Is that the kind of impression that you want to leave around here? This guy is not your friend.
He is an anchor dragging you down.
Get rid of him.
He is my oldest friend, Harvey.
I wasn't just going to let him rot in jail.
What's going to happen the next time? Because there will be a next time.
You going to bail him out? Put yourself in jeopardy? You know, if it weren't for Trevor, you and I never would have met.
Cut him loose.
We're here to see Mike Ross.
He's an associate.
His friend, Trevor, referred us.
Thank you.
It looked like they knew you.
And not in a very good way.
Hey! Hey! Excuse me.
Officer.
Is Central Park that way? Yeah, just go right there.
I'm sorry.
I'm really terrible with direction.
Is it this street right here? This street, yes.
Right here.
Yeah.
Okay.
Trevor, it's Mike.
Call me back.
I need to know what the hell is going on.
Did you get the red velvet cupcakes? Yes.
Three dozen.
Extra icing.
How the hell did that happen? Okay.
You know what? There.
Problem solved.
I asked you how'd you get that tear.
A couple of guys came to the firm.
They were looking for me.
I don't know what they wanted, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with some shit Trevor did.
And that big brain of yours doesn't remember me saying to cut ties with that loser? You know what? You've been blowing off Joy's deal all week for your friend, okay? So, please.
First of all, Trevor is not your friend.
You want to know why I'm loyal to Ray? I was taking a limo, and I left $3,000 in it.
Ray happened to be the driver.
He found it and tracked me down.
Not a nickel of it was missing.
And his first reaction when this accident occurred was to ask if we were okay.
Now, what would Trevor's have been? Cut him off.
And as far as the licensing deal goes, just because you think I'm blowing something off, doesn't mean I am.
Now watch and learn.
Everything's set for you to walk away.
We're selling your stake as a block.
Your headhunter is lining up your replacement as we speak.
Well, Harvey, this was the most wonderful surprise.
You're a long-time client who wants to be with her family.
It was the least I could do.
And you'll have all the free time in the world to spend with them.
- Joey broke the lamp.
Oh, that's great.
Now, how soon can we send them home? They're booked on the first flight out tomorrow morning.
So when you had Donna text you the girls' names I was talking about her daughters.
And you were going to fly them out all along.
Do you remember when I said you don't send a puppy to clean up its own mess? Yes, Harvey.
I do.
I'm not a puppy.
Court will come to order.
Mr.
Santana, your opening statement, please.
Driving a cab isn't glamorous.
But it's an honest day's work.
Ever since I started, I've looked forward to a time when I could tell customers that they were riding in my cab.
That I was an owner-operator.
So, I scrimped and I saved until I finally had enough put away to buy a Medallion.
But because of the actions of these men, I've lost that opportunity.
So make no mistake.
This trial is not about a busted headlight.
This is a trial about a broken dream.
Forget the case.
They're going to make him President.
Statements are like free throws.
Easy.
Nobody's playing defense.
Are we good at defense? You would agree that chauffeured drivers cause more accidents? Objection.
Badgering.
Sustained.
Objection.
Argumentative.
Leading the witness.
Ambiguous.
Privileged.
Inflammatory.
Sustained.
Anything further, Mr.
Santana? Yes, Your Honor.
I would like to call to the stand Mr.
Michael Ross, please.
What time had you called for the limo on the morning of the accident? We were supposed to leave at 8:30.
And what time did you get to work? Objection.
Irrelevant.
It's highly relevant, Your Honor.
It speaks to the psychology of the driver, Rahim Benghazi.
Overruled.
Answer Mr.
Santana's question.
So unless Mr.
Benghazi made up for that lost time, you were going to be late for that meeting.
Correct? Yes.
No further questions, Your Honor.
When the accident occurred, you were on your way to the Medallion auction.
When and where was this auction to take place? According to the police report, the accident occurred at 8:53 a.
m.
That means you only had seven minutes to get downtown in rush hour traffic.
Objection.
Irrelevant.
I believe when I made the same objection, you told his Honor it was highly relevant.
Overruled.
You were running late.
Only the stakes for you were much higher, weren't they? These things never start on time.
Then, why was the first Medallion sold at 9:03 a.
m.
? You were scared your chance at a Medallion was going up in smoke, and you ran a red.
Then, you used the accident to paint me and Ray Benghazi as a couple of scapegoats.
You can't prove that.
What color was the light? I take the Fifth.
You can't take the Fifth, Mr.
Santana.
This isn't a criminal case.
What color was the light? He cut me off.
You claim to love our legal system so much, answer the question.
What color was the light? What color was the light? Your Honor? Answer the question, Mr.
Santana.
It just meant so much to me.
Your Honor? Can I sidebar with opposing counsel? We can roll the dice with the jury, but I'd rather settle.
How much would I have to pay? Nothing.
You take responsibility for the accident, and your insurance company makes Ray whole.
In return, I waive my right to collect legal fees.
I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything.
I've got a reputation to maintain.
That goes for you, too, Judge.
Damn it, Trevor.
I left you, like, five messages.
Good to know your boy's flaky with everyone.
I was taking it personal.
What do you want? Well, Trevor owes us $50,000.
He's never paid, so you're going to bail him out.
Listen, I don't have that kind of money.
Okay? I can't.
Well, if you're not down here in an hour with it, we're going to take it out on Trevor.
Tell him where the money is.
Whatever you do, don't show up.
Trevor.
You have one hour.
Hello? Hello.
What do you think you're doing, leaving in the middle of a trial? I've got some things to take care of.
You mean someone to take care of.
You never cut Trevor off, did you? No, I didn't.
My friend's in trouble, and I'm going to help him.
You know what? This is what addicts do.
The second they start making progress, they screw up.
Because deep down, they think it's only a matter of time until they fail.
They'd rather fall from the third floor than the penthouse.
Nothing you say can stop me.
Then tell me what the hell is going on.
He's clean.
No wires.
You sure? Yeah, I'm sure.
Remember what happened with the guy.
He was 300 pounds.
Now who did you say you were again? Trevor's lawyer.
Trevor didn't mention a lawyer.
He doesn't know he hired me.
Come on.
Open the briefcase.
Where's the goddamn money? That photo is a screen-shot taken from my firm's security video.
We know what you look like.
And if Mike Ross doesn't hear from me in the next five minutes, he's calling the police.
No, man.
You're not coming in here and threatening us.
You're looking at kidnapping, extortion, and drug dealing.
And the District Attorney happens to be number three on my speed dial.
Well, if we're looking at all that time, you might as well add murder.
I've got a better idea.
Retainer agreement.
If you sign right here, you'll become one of my clients.
And I won't be able to testify against you even if I wanted to.
What about the money? This envelope contains $10,000.
Consider it a down payment on Trevor's debt.
Only here's the thing.
I don't do pro bono work.
And my retainer agreement requires a down payment of $10,000.
Now, as your attorney, my job is to give you advice.
So, here's the deal.
Sign the agreement.
I thought I said not to come.
Remember that forty bucks from the fifth grade you owe me? If you were dead, how would I collect? Oh, man.
I'm sorry.
I just put you in trouble just by hanging out with you.
So, why did you do it? Because I'm a dick.
I bet you didn't think you'd have to save my ass so soon after bailing me out.
I wasn't the one who saved you.
Yeah.
Wow.
As a friend, that guy puts me to shame.
Harvey's not my friend.
Trust me.
Well, he didn't put his ass on the line because of me.
Listen, I pled you down to a misdemeanor, drunk and disorderly, and I paid the fine.
I think it might be a good idea if you got out of town for a while.
Montana.
You said you wanted a clean slate.
I figured 20 hours on a bus ought to do the trick.
Oh, yeah.
It will do me good.
Wait.
When I get back, you know who the first person I'm going to call is.
Yeah.
The one person you know who'll answer it.
For you.
What's this? I'm very happy you took Ray on pro bono.
You, on the other hand, can afford our services.
You want me to pay me to represent me? Mmm-hmm.
Ten hours at a $1,000 an hour.
Yeah, I'll let you do the math.
You can't be serious.
I'll tell you what I am serious about.
I hear you're finally mentoring the kid.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Really? Because I understand that you dropped the puppy analogy on him.
Which is exactly what I used on you.
It may have slipped out by accident.
On accident, on purpose The really important thing is that I'm taller than you.
Yeah.
Yep.
You look much thinner in that.
You planted that story.
Be man enough to own it.
I don't traffic in the tabloids, Harvey.
But I can see how whoever planted this might find it amusing.
The great Harvey Specter bullying a humble cab driver? I mean, it's a no-win situation, really.
Well, maybe you didn't hear.
I won the no-win situation.
Did it ever occur to you that if you hadn't done that to me, I actually would have owed you one? Maybe if you didn't humiliate me in front of the associates.
Louis, for an average attorney, a $100 million is a career case.
If I'm mocking you, it means I think you're above average.
But stress balls? You're making it too easy.
You put Trevor on the bus to the boondocks? Yeah.
Can I ask you a question? After all this, you really think I'm still buying the Mr.
I-Don't-Give-a-Crap thing? Joy sent a little token of her appreciation.
She got your hair just right.
Did she ever make one of these for you? Not that you'll ever see.