Superman (1996) s01e05 Episode Script
A Little Piece of Home
As you know recent cutbacks forced the city to close many of its own museums.
Which is why the Lex Luthor Museum of Natural History is such a boon to the city's populace.
And a boost to Lex's popularity.
In anticipation of tomorrow's grand opening I felt that you, the elite of the Metropolis press might enjoy a sneak preview of the city's newest state-of-the-art exhibition hall.
The priceless artifacts are displayed in open cases protected by electronic surveillance and an impregnable automated security system.
- Did you hear that? - Just typical Luthor blarney.
And now I will be happy to answer any questions regarding the museum and its displays.
How do you respond to charges that the museum is really just a large tax shelter for LexCorp? Let's see him get out of Kent? I wouldn't.
You never listen.
What do you think we'll get for it, Nito? I'd say five to 10 with time off for good behavior.
I hope you're planning on cleaning up this mess.
You know, we can keep this up all day, or you You know, you don't look so hot.
Maybe we should help him.
Sure, we'll send him some chicken soup.
Come on! Now, if you'll all just follow me.
Lex Luthor.
Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Lex Luthor Museum of Thieves.
Two.
Stole the jewels.
I tried Get a security crew down here now.
I thought I could stop them.
Next time you see one of my museums being robbed call someone who can do something about it, like the police.
What happened? I don't know.
I'm I'm sorry.
Nito and Sam Corali.
See that they're dealt with.
Check.
Wait.
Go back.
Interesting.
As soon as he gets near the rocks in that display case, he gets all wobbly and weak.
So weak that he let a couple of small-timers get away.
And every one of those rocks belongs to me.
And here we have some fine examples of the crockery and dinnerware of the ancient Babylonians.
Their practice of fabricating utensils out of soft metal alloys proved to be their undoing as the entire civilization was destroyed by systemic metallic poisoning.
Nothing's happening.
You were expecting them to dance for you? I like the stuff they had in there before.
- Before? - Yesterday.
They came in this morning and changed the whole display around.
The other meteor samples were ordinary carbon-based elements.
But this, its composition materials are not even on the periodic table.
We believe it originated in an alien solar system with properties totally divergent from our own.
We'll need to test it out on Superman himself.
See that it's in my office within the hour.
I don't think you realize what you have here.
On the contrary, I know exactly what I have here.
The very tool I need to completely control and humiliate Superman.
But surely the rock would be more valuable to mankind.
You work for me, Peterson.
Don't forget that.
There shouldn't be an opinion in your head that I haven't put there.
Yes, Mr.
Luthor.
Two points.
- Two - Does Perry know you're playing basketball on his time? - It helps me think.
Why didn't he nab those two museum thieves? - It doesn't make sense.
- Who? Who? Superman.
Free throw.
Three-point play.
By the way, where'd you run off to yesterday? - Yeah? - Ms.
Lane? It's Professor Peterson.
So, what have you got for me this time, professor? Something extraordinary, Ms.
Lane.
Quite literally extraordinary.
Impressive, huh? I like to stay in shape.
- Want to feel? - Feel what? I don't think she's interested.
Sure she is.
Aren't you, baby? Don't call me "baby.
" Yeah, well like I told you people over the phone, I don't do Metropolis.
Not since the blue guy showed up.
This job needs someone with your technical expertise.
I pull this heist of yours, it's a sure bet I'll get caught.
You don't understand.
That's exactly what I want.
Be with you in a second, sir.
- Good catch.
What'll it be? - I'd like the turkey loaf, baked potato no butter, no soup, salad, dressing on the side.
Give it all legs.
Sorry, Kent.
I'm in a hurry.
Say, you don't look so hot.
I'm fine.
What's the rush? Take a look at this.
- Careful! - I'm sorry.
Just clumsy, I guess.
What is it? LexLabs got ahold of some meteor that seems to be able to drain Superman's powers.
This is just a small sliver.
- You sure you're not catching something? - I'm okay.
Really.
I'm taking this piece over to S.
T.
A.
R.
Labs to let them have a look at it.
I'll let you know what they say.
The gentleman would like a large orange juice, chicken soup and tea with lemon.
You gotta take care of yourself, Smallville.
Yeah, you really don't look so good.
Transfer of the treasury plates to the Metropolis district office is official.
The plates are yours, Commissioner Jones.
I'll take those plates now, Commissioner Jones.
Now, I'd like you all to drop your weapons and kick them over here.
You don't wanna make trouble for me, commissioner.
You'll never get away with this.
By now, they've shut down all the exits and entrances the stairs, the elevators.
There's no way down off this roof.
How about up? He's coming.
Let's do it.
He's past checkpoint one heading due north.
Checkpoint number two.
Checkpoint three.
- He's coming.
- Good.
Now just remember what I told you.
I guess I've flown myself into a corner.
Okay, you win.
I give up.
That's right.
Make him come to you.
Here.
What's the matter? Don't you want it? Here.
I'm sorry.
Here.
Let me help you up.
Hey, I guess all that time in the gym is paying off.
Jab.
Jab.
Cross.
Uppercut.
What are you doing? Get him back to the center of that room.
Maybe I'd rather just finish him off right here.
Mercy, get the rock, fast.
Supe, you don't look so good.
That's right.
Put S.
T.
A.
R.
Labs on 24-hour surveillance.
I want to know everyone who goes in or out.
My spies tell me that Hamilton has a piece of my rock.
I'd like to know who gave it to him.
I'm on it.
If you'll excuse us.
Actually, I'm glad you came.
I have a deal to offer you.
I'm listening.
As long as I have the rock you can't stop me.
But it is bothersome to have you always trying so the deal is this: You leave me and my operations alone and I and my little green rock will leave you alone.
I don't make deals with criminals.
I control everything in this town, Superman.
Your cooperation is not really necessary.
The offer was merely a courtesy.
You will never control me, Luthor.
Never.
Well, then I guess I'll have to kill you.
Yes.
Interesting.
My contact at LexLabs thinks it isn't even from this solar system.
Incredible.
What? That certainly would be in keeping with my theory.
Which is what, exactly, professor? The fact that your body absorbs the radiation so readily leads me to believe you share with it a point of origin.
You mean it came from Krypton? More than likely it is Krypton, or, rather, a small piece of it.
Kryptonite, if you will.
The radiation could have been created by the energy released in the explosion which destroyed your planet.
There is one bit of potentially helpful data.
Its radiation can be shielded by element atomic number 82.
- Lead.
- Of course.
- Yeah? - Ms.
Lane, it's Peterson.
Listen closely.
LexLabs is developing a synthetic version of the green rock.
It's imperative I get this information to Superman immediately.
Yes, of course.
Where should we meet? The museum.
Come in through the alley entrance.
But the security system.
I designed the security system, Ms.
Lane.
I know how to bypass it.
The door will be open between 9:05 and 9:06.
Make sure you're not followed.
Very convincing.
You're certain he's there? Our men saw him go in minutes after the Lane woman.
Excellent.
Superman will now insist on accompanying her to the museum.
Professor Mercy will see you safely home now.
Won't you, my dear? Please.
No.
I mean, I can see myself home.
Really.
But I insist.
Metropolis can be such a dangerous city, Peterson.
I'd hate to wake up tomorrow and find out that something terrible had happened to you.
He said the back alley between Right on time.
Wait.
Let me check it out.
I don't see anyone.
Lois? Professor? Professor Peterson? Kryptonite.
Lois! Get the Kryptonite out of here.
Two annoyances with one stone.
If only we had some lead.
Entire civilization was destroyed by systemic metallic poisoning.
The cups they're made of lead.
Lane squares off.
She aims.
She shoots.
Two points.
No! Thank you, Superman.
No, Lois.
Thank you.
- You saved my life.
- I suppose I did.
I owe you one.
I'd say an exclusive interview would just about even us up.
All right.
Under one condition: You don't print anything about the Kryptonite.
No, green.
It has to be green.
Which is why the Lex Luthor Museum of Natural History is such a boon to the city's populace.
And a boost to Lex's popularity.
In anticipation of tomorrow's grand opening I felt that you, the elite of the Metropolis press might enjoy a sneak preview of the city's newest state-of-the-art exhibition hall.
The priceless artifacts are displayed in open cases protected by electronic surveillance and an impregnable automated security system.
- Did you hear that? - Just typical Luthor blarney.
And now I will be happy to answer any questions regarding the museum and its displays.
How do you respond to charges that the museum is really just a large tax shelter for LexCorp? Let's see him get out of Kent? I wouldn't.
You never listen.
What do you think we'll get for it, Nito? I'd say five to 10 with time off for good behavior.
I hope you're planning on cleaning up this mess.
You know, we can keep this up all day, or you You know, you don't look so hot.
Maybe we should help him.
Sure, we'll send him some chicken soup.
Come on! Now, if you'll all just follow me.
Lex Luthor.
Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Lex Luthor Museum of Thieves.
Two.
Stole the jewels.
I tried Get a security crew down here now.
I thought I could stop them.
Next time you see one of my museums being robbed call someone who can do something about it, like the police.
What happened? I don't know.
I'm I'm sorry.
Nito and Sam Corali.
See that they're dealt with.
Check.
Wait.
Go back.
Interesting.
As soon as he gets near the rocks in that display case, he gets all wobbly and weak.
So weak that he let a couple of small-timers get away.
And every one of those rocks belongs to me.
And here we have some fine examples of the crockery and dinnerware of the ancient Babylonians.
Their practice of fabricating utensils out of soft metal alloys proved to be their undoing as the entire civilization was destroyed by systemic metallic poisoning.
Nothing's happening.
You were expecting them to dance for you? I like the stuff they had in there before.
- Before? - Yesterday.
They came in this morning and changed the whole display around.
The other meteor samples were ordinary carbon-based elements.
But this, its composition materials are not even on the periodic table.
We believe it originated in an alien solar system with properties totally divergent from our own.
We'll need to test it out on Superman himself.
See that it's in my office within the hour.
I don't think you realize what you have here.
On the contrary, I know exactly what I have here.
The very tool I need to completely control and humiliate Superman.
But surely the rock would be more valuable to mankind.
You work for me, Peterson.
Don't forget that.
There shouldn't be an opinion in your head that I haven't put there.
Yes, Mr.
Luthor.
Two points.
- Two - Does Perry know you're playing basketball on his time? - It helps me think.
Why didn't he nab those two museum thieves? - It doesn't make sense.
- Who? Who? Superman.
Free throw.
Three-point play.
By the way, where'd you run off to yesterday? - Yeah? - Ms.
Lane? It's Professor Peterson.
So, what have you got for me this time, professor? Something extraordinary, Ms.
Lane.
Quite literally extraordinary.
Impressive, huh? I like to stay in shape.
- Want to feel? - Feel what? I don't think she's interested.
Sure she is.
Aren't you, baby? Don't call me "baby.
" Yeah, well like I told you people over the phone, I don't do Metropolis.
Not since the blue guy showed up.
This job needs someone with your technical expertise.
I pull this heist of yours, it's a sure bet I'll get caught.
You don't understand.
That's exactly what I want.
Be with you in a second, sir.
- Good catch.
What'll it be? - I'd like the turkey loaf, baked potato no butter, no soup, salad, dressing on the side.
Give it all legs.
Sorry, Kent.
I'm in a hurry.
Say, you don't look so hot.
I'm fine.
What's the rush? Take a look at this.
- Careful! - I'm sorry.
Just clumsy, I guess.
What is it? LexLabs got ahold of some meteor that seems to be able to drain Superman's powers.
This is just a small sliver.
- You sure you're not catching something? - I'm okay.
Really.
I'm taking this piece over to S.
T.
A.
R.
Labs to let them have a look at it.
I'll let you know what they say.
The gentleman would like a large orange juice, chicken soup and tea with lemon.
You gotta take care of yourself, Smallville.
Yeah, you really don't look so good.
Transfer of the treasury plates to the Metropolis district office is official.
The plates are yours, Commissioner Jones.
I'll take those plates now, Commissioner Jones.
Now, I'd like you all to drop your weapons and kick them over here.
You don't wanna make trouble for me, commissioner.
You'll never get away with this.
By now, they've shut down all the exits and entrances the stairs, the elevators.
There's no way down off this roof.
How about up? He's coming.
Let's do it.
He's past checkpoint one heading due north.
Checkpoint number two.
Checkpoint three.
- He's coming.
- Good.
Now just remember what I told you.
I guess I've flown myself into a corner.
Okay, you win.
I give up.
That's right.
Make him come to you.
Here.
What's the matter? Don't you want it? Here.
I'm sorry.
Here.
Let me help you up.
Hey, I guess all that time in the gym is paying off.
Jab.
Jab.
Cross.
Uppercut.
What are you doing? Get him back to the center of that room.
Maybe I'd rather just finish him off right here.
Mercy, get the rock, fast.
Supe, you don't look so good.
That's right.
Put S.
T.
A.
R.
Labs on 24-hour surveillance.
I want to know everyone who goes in or out.
My spies tell me that Hamilton has a piece of my rock.
I'd like to know who gave it to him.
I'm on it.
If you'll excuse us.
Actually, I'm glad you came.
I have a deal to offer you.
I'm listening.
As long as I have the rock you can't stop me.
But it is bothersome to have you always trying so the deal is this: You leave me and my operations alone and I and my little green rock will leave you alone.
I don't make deals with criminals.
I control everything in this town, Superman.
Your cooperation is not really necessary.
The offer was merely a courtesy.
You will never control me, Luthor.
Never.
Well, then I guess I'll have to kill you.
Yes.
Interesting.
My contact at LexLabs thinks it isn't even from this solar system.
Incredible.
What? That certainly would be in keeping with my theory.
Which is what, exactly, professor? The fact that your body absorbs the radiation so readily leads me to believe you share with it a point of origin.
You mean it came from Krypton? More than likely it is Krypton, or, rather, a small piece of it.
Kryptonite, if you will.
The radiation could have been created by the energy released in the explosion which destroyed your planet.
There is one bit of potentially helpful data.
Its radiation can be shielded by element atomic number 82.
- Lead.
- Of course.
- Yeah? - Ms.
Lane, it's Peterson.
Listen closely.
LexLabs is developing a synthetic version of the green rock.
It's imperative I get this information to Superman immediately.
Yes, of course.
Where should we meet? The museum.
Come in through the alley entrance.
But the security system.
I designed the security system, Ms.
Lane.
I know how to bypass it.
The door will be open between 9:05 and 9:06.
Make sure you're not followed.
Very convincing.
You're certain he's there? Our men saw him go in minutes after the Lane woman.
Excellent.
Superman will now insist on accompanying her to the museum.
Professor Mercy will see you safely home now.
Won't you, my dear? Please.
No.
I mean, I can see myself home.
Really.
But I insist.
Metropolis can be such a dangerous city, Peterson.
I'd hate to wake up tomorrow and find out that something terrible had happened to you.
He said the back alley between Right on time.
Wait.
Let me check it out.
I don't see anyone.
Lois? Professor? Professor Peterson? Kryptonite.
Lois! Get the Kryptonite out of here.
Two annoyances with one stone.
If only we had some lead.
Entire civilization was destroyed by systemic metallic poisoning.
The cups they're made of lead.
Lane squares off.
She aims.
She shoots.
Two points.
No! Thank you, Superman.
No, Lois.
Thank you.
- You saved my life.
- I suppose I did.
I owe you one.
I'd say an exclusive interview would just about even us up.
All right.
Under one condition: You don't print anything about the Kryptonite.
No, green.
It has to be green.